Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Pictures: Cheryl Cole Attacked With Pen By ‘Crazed Mob’ In Birmingham
CHERYL Cole, wife to World Cup hero Ashley Cole, has been “attacked in the street” by Birmingham’s Hotel du Vin. She is in town for the X Factor auditions.
Yep. What the **** is the nation’s sweetheart doing on a street? Why has she not been attacked in a spa, the First Class lounge at Heathrow Airport or in a palace?
Do we sympathise with her? It Cheryl had not left nation’s sweetheart Ashley Cole to fight for the World Cup alone, she could have been attacked in South Africa, by a lion or hippo, perhaps. Anywhere but the street. It’s just so common.
Cheryl Cole Reunites With Ashley Cole For World Cup: Pictures
Anyhow, what about this attack, what the Mirror calls on its front page:
“Terror at hands of crazed mob?”
Cheryl Cole was badly shaken after a terrifying security breach in which a persistent fan made a lunge at the X Factor judge.
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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Joan Jett Plays The 100 Club (No Kirsten Stewart On Vuvuzela)
JOAN Jett, of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – not Kirsten Stewart’s mum (really?) – was performing on stage at The 100 Club in central London. We Love Rock ‘n’ Roll. Play it all the time on the juke box, baby. Yeah, we sang along. And we could hear ourselves sing. No vuvuzelas, you see. Although if Joan wants to be rock ‘n’ roll, current and upset the establishment she should get The Blackhearts on the big World Cup kazoos and blow…
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P Diddy Makes You Not Bothered About His Son’s Maybach: Pictures
SEAN Combs, aka P Diddy, the renegade Diddy Man, has bought his son Justin Dior Combs a $360,000 sivler Maybach car. (Can you be your own brand if you are already named after one? Discuss.)
In Pictures: Sean Diddy Combs Meets P Diddy At Madame Tussauds
Aside , from the happy car dealer, no-one gave a toss. So Diddy went on the telly to say that he will do what he wants with his own money and it is none of your business. Gorrit?!
“I feel the way I raise my children, I don’t have to explain to you or anyone else, ’cause nobody knows the way I raise my children. So nobody knows the lessons that I’ve taught my children to understand, if they are mentally ready for that.”
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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ronan Keating: Francine Cornell And Seven Bedrooms
RONAN Keating cheated on his wife Yvonne with a Francine Cornell. Now Ronan of the uber alles hair has told his wife:
“We’ll make a fresh start together”
In pictures: Ronan Keating And Yvonne
The Daily Star has news:
BOYZONE love cheat Ronan Keating has started moving his stuff out of the family home. The removal vans sparked rumours he and wife Yvonne, 36, have split for good.
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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Pink Lands On The Isle Of White Festival: In Pictures
PINK was performing on the Main Stage, at the Isle of Wight Festival, at Seaclose Park in Newport. She started her set by performing above the stage. On the Isle of White locals still point at planes. They noticed Pink. Some wanted to shoot her down. They were afeard. Others got down and prayed. Pink then landed and demanded to be heard by screaming through a gramophone amplifier. The masses swooned. Pink did as Klingon fertility dance:
Isle Of White Festival In Pictures: The Strokes And Debbie Harry Thrash England
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Posted: 13th, June 2010 | In: Music | Comment (1)
RockNess In Pictures: Ian Brown Shows Blondie The Real Face Of Music
DEBBIE Harry made it from the Isle of White to Inverness in time to sing a few Blondie hits at RockNess. She looked good. Too good. And when we saw Ian Brown looking like you’d expect someone to look who said that when the Stone Roses split they fell into two camps: “We had two buses – the coke bus and the weed bus.” Although he did also say: “Because of my cheekbones people think I’m a crackhead.” (He’s not.) So. Brown looks authentic, the northern Keith Richards. And Blondie looks a Surrey divorcee on Blondie karaoke night. Still. Good sing-along fun. Pictures:
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Kerry Katona ‘Back’ With Mark Croft As She Poses With Adam Waldron
KERRY Katona, the face and body of own-brand ketchup, is getting back with Mark Croft, her estranged husband. The Mirror has breathless news:
“She never wanted the relationship to end in the first place – she was desperate to keep things together for the sake of the kids. Now she says if they could sort out their differences they might give it another go.”
Meanwhile, over in the People:
Croft, now running a fruit machine delivery business, told a friend: I’m looking at divorcing Kerry for her unreasonable behaviour whatever the f*** else she decides to say. Once she got on the coke and booze Kerry ceased to function as a wife and mother as far as I’m concerned.
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Posted: 13th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Isle Of White Festival In Pictures: The Strokes And Debbie Harry Thrash England
THE Isle of White Festival Day 2 in Pictures, presented by Julian Casablancas of The Strokes. At Seaclose Park, the football on the big screen as watched by a few men in lots of others who’d have preferred to have watched Neighbours. We also spotted test tube sex symbols The Saturdays, Biffy Clyro and Debbie Harry. Blondie And The Strokes against The Saturdays. USA 2 – England 0:
In Pictures: Paloma Faith Colours The Isle Of White Festival
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Michael Jackson’s Ghost Seen On TV As Joe Jackson Blames Mum For Death: Pictures
MICHAEL Jackson: Joe Jackson, father of dead (or is he?) singer Michael Jackson is talking about his son. Before he introduces Paris Jackson on stage – and before we get to see La Toya Jackson channeling Jacko’s dead spirit (you cannot miss this) – Joe says he could not reach Michael as well as his mother could have.
Pictures: Michael Jackson Pre-1980
Although he did, allegedly, have enough reach to kick Jacko in the testicles. (The glove. The crotch grab. The shriek – for you, dad.).
Joe Jackson’s Michael Jackson Museum Complex With Gold Rimming
Michael Jackson has been used as the face of child abuse in Brazil – as victim nor perpetrator.
“I couldn’t bottle up my feelings. Katherine didn’t say a word – I had to get away from her. If she’d done what I asked, Michael would be here today. I am incensed with her. She could have made a difference.”
You see pictures of busty mum here.
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Posted: 13th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
In Pictures: Paloma Faith Colours The Isle Of White Festival
DAY 2 of the Isle of White Festival and Anorak’s favourite Chromatron Paloma Faith is following Marina Diamandis into our dreams. Look out for the kicks. The Isle of White is not longer adrift…
Isle Of White Festival In Pictures: The Strokes And Debbie Harry Thrash England
Festival Fashion Guide – In Pictures
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In Pictures: The Trooping Of The Colour Simmers With Sexual Tension
THE Trooping of the Colour in Pictures: Soldiers from the Household Cavalry marched along the Mall to Buckingham Palace following the Trooping the Colour ceremony at Horse Guards Parade. The Colour being paraded this year was the flag of the 1st Battalion Grenadier Guards. Camilla shared a buggy with Prince William. She made eyes at him (picture 5). He’s like his mother. There were, famously, three of them in that marriage. But what was the dynamic? (There’s book in this.) Oh, and look out Mr Kim Jong-il, Keep ’em peeled, readers…
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Posted: 12th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna On The 1980s School Run In Kent: Pictures
IT was like a 1980s revival meeting as Madonna hooked up with Mohamed al Fayed at The New School in West Heath, Kent, for Lawnfest, a charity fundraiser in aid of the bursary fund at the school. Toss in some leg warmers, Pump Up The Volume and a Paul Masson California Carafe and who needs the King Groovy & The Horn Stars. If Madonna could have some more work on her face and make more of her primary sexual characteristics, she could be any mum on the school run in Surrey…
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Posted: 11th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jay Z Barcodes The Isle Of White Festival: In Pictures
THE Isle of White Festival is here – and we’ve got all the pictures. We caught up with Juliette Lewis backstage – entertaining and talented. We also spotted Coco Sumner of I Blame Coco. She’s Sting’s daughter. Don’t hold it against her. If pop is about being precocious, she’s got pop. The star turns are Jay Z, the uber-rich barcode-turned-rapper, who should go down well with what can be sombre crowd, the Strokes.
If you want to sing along – here are the lyrics.
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Posted: 11th, June 2010 | In: Music | Comments (5)
The Greatest Lesbian Kisses On Film: A Gallery
THE lesbian kiss is the mainstay of the jobbing starlet making her way in showbiz. The kissers are never lesbians. Hollywood does not like real lesbians. Lesbianism is an orchestrated spectacle. Lesbians are seen but not heard. These girls – all photogenic; all lithe limbed; all young (well, at least one of the coupling is) – are just fooling around. Madonna kisses Britney Spears. Miley Cyrus kisses a dancer, sort of. Young women who are lesbians get a point of reference that says lesbians aren’t real. And the boys and the men get excited. Here’s a gallery of lesbian kisses played out for our entertainment:
Posted: 11th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The Mojo Honours Awards 2010: Winners And Pictures
The MOJO Honours List 20101 – Award winners and pictures:
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Winners:
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Big Brother 2010: The Dregs – Live Blog In Pictures
BIG Brother: the last series will pick the housemates from 81 people. These are the last 81 people in the UK not to appear on a reality telly show. The ones not chosen will be hosed down and placed in museum for everyone to gaze upon.
Josie Gibson. From Bristol. Huge floaty dress.
A 25 year old Financial Sales Rep. Cider With Josie.
Steven Gill. He’s got no legs. He’s got one eye. Was a soldiers. Injured in line of duty. Eight children.
Hometown: Leicestershire. Occupation: Ex HM Forces
Ben Duncan: Jacket. Jeans. Floppy hair. Utter ****. Hate figure. Boooooooooooooooo!
Age: 30. Job: Writer / broadcaster. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Chants of “Get Ben out!”
Rachel White: Hubba-hubba. It’s Beyonce! Vain. Great. Age: 23. Job: Hair stuff.
Nathan Dunn: Northern. Chicke Tikka Baltis is “my thing”. Cropped jeans and white pumps. Tell him. Go on. Tell him.
Age: 26. Hometown: Bingley, Bradford. Made of: “twisted steel and sex appeal” – and a monobrow.
Dave Vaughan: Mad monk. The new Chris Biggins meets that chubby Asian chef who sued to be on the telly. (Name please.)
“I love Jesus and I am a Christian minister. For 3 or 4 years I was on drink, drugs sex and rock and roll. For the last eighteen years I’ve become a different person. At times I get so overwhelmed by Gods presence and if people get around me they get transformed.”
Caoimhe Guilfoyle: Nice rubber vest. Nice hair. Horrible tattoo. Trying too hard.
Age: 22. Hometown: Dublin
“I used to be a little loner, a geek but now I’ve blossomed…I’m happy. I’m not an attention seeker. I lived in Madrid for two years, in the first few weeks I was fired from my job and kicked out of my flat for being too noisy.”
Govan Zachariah Hinds:
Govan. Really. He’s 21. And as hard as butter.
“I can be quite bitchy….it’s a real problem of mine. I can bring intelligent conversations or I can be silly and funny. I have never had a relationship with anybody…sometimes I do get lonely. I’m smiley, I’m shiny, I’m happy, I’ve got a nice smile and a big d**k!”
Hometown: Leicester. Occupation: Voluntary Worker
Shabby Katchadourian: Our favourite. Pretentious knob.
Writes for the Guardian. Don’t they all?
Ife Kuku:
Dancer. Iffy? Not a bit of it. Determined.
“Some people say to em you sound really posh for a black girl! What do they think all black girls talk like?”
John James Parton:
Australian. Highlights. Thinks we are amazed by him.
I look like David Beckham, obviously he’s not an ugly bloke so I won’t tell people don’t call me Beckham. I don’t like doing housework, I’m not lazy….just waiting for my big break!
Sunshine Martin: Calls herself Sunshine
Real name: Yvette. Vegan. Looks it.
Booed heartily. Gauche. Moi? Mais oui. Trainee medic. Yeah, Doc Martin.
Corin Forshaw: Hard faced Katie Price disciple.
Age: 29. Hometown: Cheshire
“I’m a nice person, don’t be a bitch to me and I won’t be a bitch to you!”
Mario Mugan:
Dressed as a mole.
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Posted: 11th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
MOJO Honours List 2010 In Pictures: Old, New And Rearranged Faces
WITH Tony Christie and Jarvis Cocker to the MOJO Honours List 2010 at the Brewery in London. Good do. But what about those faces? We couldn’t help but wonder who had aged the best, the worst and who had been assisted? The mugshots of Marc Almond and Andy Bell were like looking at the 1980s in the back of a spoon. Kasabian looked good. Bez from the Happy Mondays looks as you’d expect, and breathing. Jean Michel Jarre had windswept hair (in no wind!), Peter Blake, Mani, Alex James, Richard Hawley, Emmylou Harris, Harry Shearer, Jim Jones Review, Midlake, Jeff Prystowsky, Mark Mothersbaugh, Duane Eddy, Martha and Rufus Wainwright, Sigur Ros and Beth Orton arrived. Jimmy Page looked smooth. And Hawkwind looked like everyone else should have…
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In Pictures: The Killers Permiere – Holfit Golan Outlasts Aston Kutcher And Katherine Heigl
TO the premier of Killers, the Ashton Kutcher – Katherine Heigl show in which the saviour of planet earth, the punked guy who tweets pictures of Demi Moore’s arse plays a suave professional assassin. Nope. Not a comedy. Heigl is the love interest. They fall in love and marry; she is ignorant of his job; someone wants him dead. (Hofit Golan is not in it.)
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The film is as good as its premier liggers, so along to the London premiere came felt-tip faced Bianca Gascoigne, Emily Themis, Katerina Themis and Sophia Port of Candy Rock (?), Katie Price impersonator Cantelle Houghton – copying Jordan must be like hitting moving target – and Blake.
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Posted: 9th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Lindsay Lohan: Arrest Warrant Issued
LINDSAY Lohan’s learned to hide her alcohol-sensing SCRAM anklet with fashionable boots and long & loose clothing.
But when she’s wearing it, she can’t hide any alcohol consumption.
Lohan’s in deep shit tonight, after her SCRAM bracelet sensed booze in her bod Sunday night after the MTV Movie Awards.
In Pictures: Katy Perry’s Breasts Take Over MTV’s Tom Cruise Little And Large Show
After an emergency meeting between attorneys and a judge in the case, the $10k in bail money Linds had previously put up was forfeited, and his/her honor raised the stakes to $200k bail, or $20k in cash. On top of that, a bench warrant was issued for Lohan’s arrest – until a bondsman showed up a few minutes later with the necessary $20k.
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Posted: 9th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ace Of Bass and Madonna Both Love Lady GaGa’s New Nostalgia Song: Alejandro
LADY GaGa, that Madonna camel with Grace Jones boots, has anew song called Alejandro – which as you scholars know it Latin for C’Mon England! C’Mon! Soon it will be shorthand for “We’ve got a huge budget and need to spend every penny.” In Westminster it will be a new greeting.
“Alejandro, Mr Cameron.”
“Alejandro,” Mr Clegg.
“Alejandro, suckers.”
It’s a great tune. And we loved it the first time we heard Madonna sing it, last night when I dreamt of San Pedro, just like I’d never gone, I knew the song… and then we saw the sign with Ace of Bass and it opened up our eyes.
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Chantelle Tagoe Is The World Cup WAG Of The Week – With Added Orphans
CHANTELLE Tagoe. Who she? Well, this Chantelle is a WAG, soon-to-be-wife of Emile Heskey, the big lad up England’s front. And, as OK! says, “she’s more than a privileged clothes horse with time on her hands”.
More? Is there more? Don’t tell us she’s a great shag and loves spa days and walks in the rain as well. Be still our beating hearts.
Chantelle says that she might not see Emile after the World Cup matches because: “If Capello’s formula is working, I don’t want to disrupt it.”
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Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (4)
Tom Cruise Praises David Beckham’s Solid Body
TOM Cruise praises David Beckham’s “solid body“.
“He’s got a great competitive spirit and he’s a tireless worker with a clear mind and a solid body.”
It’s been a rich day for quotes:
“I think England’s the best country in the world. It’s where I’ve been brought up and I wouldn’t change that.” – Wayne Rooney
The winner!
“I’m not one to give up and I’m very competitive so I said: ‘C’mon Tony, you can do this! If I’d not done it I would’ve killed myself and been so upset …” – Toni Terry – Mrs John Terry
Amen.
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Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tom Cruise Understands Why The World Is ‘Fascinated’ By Suri Cruise: Pictures
OK! catches up with Tom Cruis, father to paparazzi-living Suri Cruise:
OK!: Can you believe that Suri has been named one of the most influential children in the world.
Tom Cruise: “I certainly can. Everyone is absolutely fascinated by her.”
It’s the influence. If you catch her gaze, you cannot help but be influenced. Obey. Obey. Obey. Enough to Suri and her custom made Christian Louboutin shoes.
“Along with having over 100 pairs of shoes… 4-year-old Suri proves again she can keep up with adult trends—this time with her very own iPad.”
And he love’s David Beckham’s solid body:
“He’s got a great competitive spirit and he’s a tireless worker with a clear mind and a solid body.”
How does Tom keep his feet on the ground? Given his Scientology belief system, this might be ironic:
“I have never let my ego grow – I’m aware that I’m just an actor”
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Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (2)
In OK! John Terry Runs Non-Suicide Toni Terry A Bath, Privately
IN this week’s OK!, Toni Terry, wife to loyal England footballer John Terry, wants to talk about her amazing life with JT.
If ten other England players get caught shagging their best mate’s lover or a glamour model in their car, allegedly, JT may yet be in the running for the job of England skipper.
Right now it’s all eyes on Toni, who wants to tell us about her “quiet life”. OK! says “all manner of folk” have been “poking their noses” into Toni’s private life. It’s just not on.
John Terry’s Wayne Bridge Handshake Frame By Frame
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Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comment (1)
Angelina Jolie’s ‘Secret Affair” With Married Hollywood Star
ANGELINA Jolie is embroiled in a “CHEATING SCANDAL”. So says the National Enquirer, which also says that this alleged cheating scandal “EXPLODES!”
Angelina Jolie pictures (NSFW)
This is one dynamic cheating scandal, readers. Says the NE:
“Caught in secret affair with MARRIED actor”
This is:
“Her secret affair with Ethan Hawke.”
A source says that Jolie and Hawke met in 2003 – when he was married to Uma Thurman – and “couldn’t keep their hands to themselves”. We do not know why it is “secret”, only that there are rumours of an affair on the internet. The web also has rumours that lizards control the world and Cheryl Cole is the nation’s sweetheart. But we digress.
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Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: National Enquirer | Comments (4)
