Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
In Pictures: Justin Bieber Pulls A Girl At Wembley Show
JUSTIN Bieber plays the Capital Radio Summertime Ball and having danced with Usher and will.i.am on stage (look out for the young Bieber’s Pull Ups chaffing) – and looked not a lot unlike the product of a mating between a young Jane Fonda and Jimmy Osmond – Bieber pulled a fan from the crowd. She swooned. (She sat on a stool and was still bigger than Justin.) Bieber crooned. The sun set. The girls panted. Bieber’s helmet of hair caught the fading light. He then made the sign of the Devil. And all was good… All the pictures from the show:
In Photos: Captial Radio Summertime Ball (Rihanna, Bieber, JLS, Cheryl Cole And…)
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Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Katy Perry’s Breasts Take Over MTV’s Tom Cruise Little And Large Show
THE MTV Movie Awards were a chance to produce some little and large acts: pneumatic Jennifer ‘J-Woww’ towered over her pocket mahogany munchkin (the Jaffa Cake Years) Nicole Polizzi ‘Snookie’; Cameron Diaz was paired with Tom Cruise (he is not small – she is 8ft in her hose); and Jackie Chan looming over a pin-sized Jaden Smith. The biggest star, however, was Katy Perry, whose breasts overshadowed Lindsay Lohan, Shaun White, Xtina, her lover Russell Brand, Vanessa Hudgens and pretty Zac Efron, Kristen Stewart and RPattz.
Posted: 7th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
RIP Stuart Cable: A Stereophonic Life In Pictures
Along with band members Richard Jones and Kelly Jones you gave Sky Sports a theme song for their highlights package. He was just 40. A life in pictures:
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In Pictures: Rihanna Takes A Dip In Sauce
RIHANNA wore red hair as she followed Cheryl Cole’s f*** you fists, Justin Bieber’s pull ups dance and them all onto the Wembley stadium stage. Rihanna’s hair colour is tomato ketchup mixed with Daddies sauce. It did mean that you could see her at the back, from where she looked like a Babybel cheese. The Capital FM Summertime Ball – bring dip:
In Pictures: Cheryl Cole And Derek Hough’s Ballroom Karma Sutra
CHERYL Cole followed Justin Bieber onto the Wembley Arena stage to sing about fighting for love. Cheryl is divorcing England’s sweetheart Ashley Cole. He’s doing his bit for his country among the colonials in Africa as his wife is being felt up by Derek Hough on stage. (Vera Lynn should weep.) Derek’s step-dad Aaron Nelson says: “For Derek, this is true love. There is no doubt about it. He is totally in love with her and it’s easy to see why. She is one hell of a girl.” Here’s Cheryl in pictures. Look out for the ballroom karma sutra and the big “**** you, loser” finale…
Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)
In Photos: Captial Radio Summertime Ball (Rihanna, Bieber, JLS, Cheryl Cole And…)
Cheryl Cole Hurts Ashley And England’s World Cup Dream: What Would Vera Lynn Do?
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In Photos: Captial Radio Summertime Ball (Rihanna, Bieber, JLS, Cheryl Cole And…)
ALL the photos from the Capital Radio Summertime ball, featuring Justin Bieber, will.i.am, Usher, Rihanna, JLS, Cheryl Cole, Dizzee Rascal, Kesha, Scouting for Girls, Alexandra Burke, Jason Derulo, Ellie Goulding, Tinie Tempah, The Wanted, Esmee Denters and Chipmunk… Want to see the photos? Here they are – enjoy them all:
In Many Pictures: Usher, Justin Bieber And will.i.am Play Wembley Stadium
USHER treated Justin Bieber to a simulated hardcore porn show (picture 1) at the Capital FM Summertime Ball at Wembley Stadium. Sure, Miley Cyrus, there are more important things in life than pretending to kiss a girl for Britain’s Got Talent. Usher realised this by dressing as a mid-life crisis Stan Laurel (pic 11) and pretending to shag a dancer while she had oral sex with a colleague. Justin Bieber looked thoughtful. Will i am looked like a minicab driver from Hackney (pic 3). Bieber then joined will.i-am and usher on stage and looked like he’d won a prize in a magazine (picure 9) and been invited on stage as Jane Fonda look-alike (picures 5). Kesha looked like John Travolta in a wig. And we looked on…
Patrick Stewart Knighted
SIR Patrick Stewart:
Posted: 4th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Justin Bieber Gets Work As A Children’s Hairdresser
JUSTIN Bieber is amazing, and he will make an amazing hairdresser when his amazing career as a child’s entertainer ends.
Bieber’s groomer Vanessa Price tells the world:
“He actually trimmed my bangs! He’s going to be an amazing hair stylist once his career is over.”
The future is indeed rosy for Bieber. But how can you look like the 16-year-old Bieber?
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Posted: 4th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner Is Faux Nostalgia
TWILIGHT fans never die they just grow old and hanker for nostalgia. So, Stephanie Meyer gets to work creating that homely past in the shape of a prequel called The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. Can’t have Jacob and Edward in this one because, well, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner may not want to be in the film of the book.
Publishing is a sleazy business.
The tome was carried into London in a coffin by six werewolves, who have had their sacks, cracks and back depilated and sharpened their face bones to a rapier. This is what happens when a book is taken over by marketing department…
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Posted: 4th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lady GaGa Is Dead, Presumed Murdered In Copycat Killing (Pictures)
IF like Stephen Griffiths, the Crossbow Cannibal who, allegedly, left victims’ remains behind, or Derrick Bird, you live in a world where fantasy blends with reality you will warm to the story that Lady GaGa is pretending to be killed and eaten on stage.
Or, as the Sun puts it, she was eaten alive “in front of thousands of schoolkids”.
The Star tells its readers just how big a deal this is:
MUM’S FURY AT HORRIFIC SHOW
No, not mums’. Mum’s.
Derrick Bird: The Evil Twin Theory (Pictures)
To the MEN Arena in Manchester, where GaGa “strutted in a low-cut basque” as a dancer “bit into her neck, sending fake blood gushing down her chest”. Lady GaGa than “writhed in the gore before slumping down in a death pose”.
The softer parts were then chopped up into mince meats and served as burgers to the fans, and the left overs that could not be made into soup tossed into the River Aire. It’s some act. Lady GaGa gives her all.
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Posted: 4th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
In Pictures: Vampire Diaries Give London The VD Fever
IAN Somerhalder, Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley, stars of the television programme The Vampire Diaries, were signing wooden pregnancy test kits fashioned into staves at HMV in Oxford Street London. VD is not for everyone. But if it is for you, then enjoy. The kids love it. In picture 1, Wesley is ready for his close up…
He says Ashlee Simpson was gonna be in the show but her bone structure wasn’t up to it.
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Posted: 3rd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Joe Jackson’s Michael Jackson Museum Complex With Gold Rimming
TIME for a Michael Jackson Tribute to end all Michael Jackson tributes. The butter cow, the comic, the minstrels, the diamond, the vibrator, funeral weeds, the tattoos, the kid, the covers, the film, the dots, the Teletubbies, the corpse dance, the google, the horror song, a tribute concert that is still in the planning, the sand, and the gold rimming can all take step back and make way for Papa Joe Jackson’s $300 million museum complex.
It’s what Micheal would have wanted.
Gary, Indiana, will be mecca for Jacko fans who come to see the museum, a performing arts centre, the concert, the hotel, a casino and, maybe, the pharmacy.
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Posted: 3rd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna’s Untouched Face For Louis Vuitton: Photos
MADONNA is the flawless beauty for Louis Vuitton’s winter 2009 ad campaign. She has the skin of, well, a Madonna before the fall. But can it be that Madge is not as she seems?
Might it be that those photos of her with Jesus (NSFW) are typical of Madonna’s face, less a fact than moveable target? We’ve got those pictures of the Louis Vuitton shoot before the airbrushing took hold.
Well, Louis Vuitton do make leather goods…
Madonna Pays Homage To Susan Boyle’s Pussy In Dolce And Gabbana Ads: Pictures
Demi Moore For Helena Rubenstein: Before And After Pictures
NSFW pictures of Madonna’s own personal Jesus
Posted: 3rd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)
Leona Lewis Plays Nottingham’s Trent FM Arena: Pictures
LEONA Lewis was on stage at the Trent FM Arena in Nottingham. Would you go to see Lewis sing? Great voice, but she possesses all the stage appeal of a shiny CD. The voice is great. But Lewis is not dancer. She lacks charisma. And even in a pair of thigh boots and teetering on a stage seemingly designed by a school drama workshop for a GCSE project, Lewis lacks sex appeal. We’ve got pictures. But, in truth, unless you’re a fan, even they’re pretty dull… Still, nice boots:
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Posted: 3rd, June 2010 | In: Music | Comments (7)
Shakira Splits For Antonio De La Rua: Pictures
SHAKIRA is spotted with her boyfriend, Antonio de la Rua, son of former president of Argentina (not pictured) and some friends during a visit to Barcelona. The lady is ready for her close up now. This is how all speakers limber up for the Oxford Union. They say Richard Nixon could touch his nose with his finger tips…
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Posted: 2nd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kerry Katona And Peter Andre’s One Night Stand
KERRY Katona and Peter Andre are not together. The Daily Star printed an apology in its papers telling readers that Peter Andre and Kerry Katona were not together, having seen the OK! cover of them together, heard of the “love”, of Pete being Kerry’s “sweetheart” and more and jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Sure, they share an agent and a complexion, but they are not lovers. No way.
So to this week’s OK! cover which features Peter Andre talking “FOR THE FIRST TIME ABOUT HIS ONE-NIGHT STAND” –
“’Kerry’s lovely but I’m glad she’s now met a man.”
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Brooke Shields’ Fur Coat Raises Chantelle Houghton’s Peta Droop
CHANTELLE Houghton Peta’s Dumb Animal of the Month Show is introduced by Brooke Shields’ fur coat child protector and walker.
Houghton, that jobbing jumble of Katie Price off-cuts, is fronting PETA’s Eating Meat Got You Down? campaign, outside Smithfield Meat Market in London. The claim is that eating meat and all that cheap protein makes your penis limp. Well, that what they tell Chantelle, allegedly…
But one meaty eater getting hard on for flesh is Brooke Shields who his making a fur cot at Denmark’s Kopenhagen Fur Studio.
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Posted: 2nd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Sarah Ferguson Caught Milking Name In Second TV Expose
WHY did Sarah Ferguson takes $27,000 in cash as part payment of a £500,000 to facilitate a meeting between a rich and her former husband Prince Andrew? Hard to works it out. Fergie says on the Oprah Winfrey show:
He Paid For Drinks
“I’d had too much to drink and was a little worse for wear.”
Drink might explain why she did not check the money was all there. Also that she had too much to drink when the meeting was arranged – “I was looking for quick [financial] fixes in places where I wouldn’t normally look” – when she went to the meeting, when she was at the meeting and when she deposited the cash and when she failed to call the deal off, allegedly. Drink can be a hard taskmaster.
Incidentally, the Mail says it was £27,000; the Times says $28,000. It pays to check, Fergie. Next time, eh…
Mea Stupido:
“There aren’t many words to describe such an act of gross stupidity.”
There are loads of them: greed, avarice, lazyness, pimp, grasping, needy, pathetic, drunk…
The Are Two Sarah Fergusons:
As Ferguson 1 looks at the tape of Ferguson 2 pimping out her ex-husband, Ferguson 1 says:
“Poor love. I feel sorry for her — she looks so exhausted.”
Note: add “exhausted” to ‘stupidity” words list.
She’s Looking Up At The Stars:
“I was in the gutter at that moment”
To Reaffirm Her Daughters’ Love
The Duchess said her daughters had been supportive of her following the scandal, saying: “It’s a really good fresh clean start for you. We’re 100 per cent here for you and we love you.”
Says Fergie: “Ask dad for some pocket money.”
Her Good Heart
“He [the fake shake down] had come from a friend of mine, and he’d come very highly recommended from four different people. A friend of mine needed $38,000 urgently, and he said he’d give the money for my friend.”
Is this friend the other Sarah Ferguson?
She’s A Vegetable
The key to what they said was Mum, you get to the middle of the onion skin and you’ve pulled away everything and now you’ve merged the dark and the light of Sarah.
Other possible reasons as to why Fergie did it:
1. She doesn’t like proper work and prefers milking her family credential to 9 to 5?
2. She wanted to save Greece and reconnect with Prince Phil?
3. She needed the press
4. She wanted to make Prince Andrew look useful
5. Read about the real reason in Sarah Ferguson’s new book – advances in the region of $500,000
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PA PHOTO 27/2/87 PRINCE CHARLES WATCHES HIS WIFE, THE PRINCESS OF WALES (CENTRE) AND SISTER IN LAW, THE DUCHESS OF YORK LARK ABOUT IN THE SNOW AT THE PHOTO SESSION MARKING THE START OF THEIR ANNUAL SKIING HOLIDAY. THE ROYAL PARTY, WITH THE DUKE OF YORK ARE STAYING IN THE CHIC WINTER RESORT OF KLOSTERS, IN THE SWISS ALPS.
Posted: 2nd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (17)
Jennifer Aniston’s Dangerous Online Dating Game: Brad Pitt Reacts
BRAD Pitt has “freaked out” over Jennifer Aniston’s “SHOCKING LOVE GAMES!” The National Enquirer pictures Brad with his beard that looks as if he’s peering through an old nanny’s (goat) legs and Aniston fiddling with her hair, as is her wont.
Inside the magazine, and Brad is telling Jen to stoop playing “dangerous games” with her love life. News is that Jen has been looking for love on the web. Yep, that “ambitious, needy, middle-aged divorcee with own shampoo” is, allegedly, Jennifer Aniston looking for the real deal.
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Posted: 2nd, June 2010 | In: National Enquirer | Comment
Tila Tequila Is The World’s Last Drug-Addicted Celebrity: Rehab Works
SOMEONE pickle Tila Tequila in vinegar and coat her in aspic. Miss Tila is the world’s last drug-hooked celebrity. Fact.
Our Man In LA reports:
Try as she may, Hollywood’s craziest celebritard couldn’t make a fourth season of Celebrity Rehab happen.
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Posted: 2nd, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Celebrity Soccer Six, X Factor And N-Dubz: In Pictures
THE Celebrity Soccer Six Tournament at Charlton Athletic FC’s ground sees celeb who can’t play football playing football for charity. This year the Samaritans got the loot. We spotted Olly Murs keeping his legs in for when Robbie Williams comes calling (don’t go changing that number, Olly), Stacey Solomon and the X Factor team, which included pro-celeb footballers Jamie Archer, Lee Ryan and Jeff Brazier. But the pick of the action was reserved for Dappy Contostavlos of N-Dubz who spoke with the ref about what many onlookers believed to be Bianca Gascoigne’s antics, involving the famous football name playing with no fewer than three footballs at once – and sporting huge fake breasts, just like her dear old dad. Oh, the memories…
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Posted: 1st, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Lady Gaga Plays London For Eurovision
LADY Gaga was in concert, while you were watching Satan’s Karaoke, or Eurovision as the continentals call it. Lena from Germany won the battle of glitter and wind farms with her black lipstick, little dress and pastel pastiche of Lily Allen, Lou Bega and the Ting Tings. Gaga played London’s 02. She managed to get an entire concert in between the Greek’s awarding the Cypriots 12 points (douze points), an estate agent called Josh doing his bit for the UK music business by not winning the show, and the Greeks seeing if a ring tone could be the continent’s favourite tune…
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Posted: 31st, May 2010 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Charlotte Church And Gavin Henson: Why They Split In Pictures And Lesbian Footballers’ Wives
CHARLOTTE Church and Gavin Henson told OK! they were getting married, and six weeks later split. The Star says Char and Gav, the couple the media never reduced to Chav, split because she had a “lesbian snog”.
The story goes that Charlotte kissed a girl on a night out in London.
The Mirror says they split because he was on a reality telly show, and she was on a different reality telly show. Had only they shared the same reality telly show, love might have endured:
Arguments between the pair had escalated in recent months – particularly after Gavin flew to Norway in March to film celebrity reality show 71 Degrees North for four weeks, leaving Charlotte at home with the children just as she was planning her big comeback in Over The Rainbow.
The Sun gives another reason for the split:
CHARLOTTE CHURCH and GAVIN HENSON split after she accused him of getting close to actress SUSIE AMY, a pal claimed yesterday.
Amy denies any relationship with Henson. The Sun might care to look for signs of Touche Eclat on her collar.
Whatever the reason(s), and there are bound to be more, the couple once billed as the
earthy Welsh Posh ‘n’ Becks are no more. And OK! is left to wonder how to fill pages of pages of what would have been their weeding spectacular.
As charlotte Church once said:
“We do want to keep our private life private.”
Wedding cancelled. Job done.
Posted: 31st, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Katie Price And Alex Reid Take On 36 Holes: Pictures
KATIE Price and Alax Reid, Mr & Mrs Toffee Crisp, have been on a visit the Lost Island Encounter at the World of Golf in Sidcup, Kent. If the 54-bay floodlit driving range and a premier golf academy with five PGA professionals are not your thing, then there is the 36-hole crazy golf course – “Florida Style”. We have no idea what Florida Style crazy golf means, but you can bet your bottom dollar the clubs are firmer for longer, the balls up to the your armpits and the holes cleaned, buffed, mowed and depilated to a spanking gleam…
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Posted: 30th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
