Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Health Alert: Jedward’s Shake And Vac Does Not Contain Mephedrone
WHEN we spotted Jedward – John and Edward Grimes – stood on the pavement of London shaking white powder about, fears of an anthrax infestation were alleviated when we noted that the X Factor products had become the faces of Shake ‘n’ Vac, a white, powdery substance that rids the carpet of foul smells.
It’s a marketing campaign. And the hope seems to be that the icons of dazed and confused youth will take Shake ‘n Vac to their young fans’ hearts, possibly with the same gusto as the youth embrace meow meow, Sherbet Dip Daps, Vim and all other household products.
Their agents got in touch to remind us that Shake ‘n’ Vac is not a drug that makes you sing and dance as you get the stench of cat wee out of your rug. Shake ‘n’ Vac is a narcotic-free matter that should neither be snorted nor injected.
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Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Cheryl Cole’s Lips Gloss And Go: Pictures
HELLO! magazine meets Cheryl Cole and is told that any talk of Ashley Cole is “off limits”. We would turn off there. But Cheryl has some hairspray to flog. So, we stay to listen to the nation’s sweetheart.
Cheryl says she only remembers the “mean stuff” she reads.
She says you would not want to walk past people in the street saying mean things about your hair. Well, no. But, then, most of us don’t wear hair extensions in a TV advert to sell shampoo with added “mojo”.
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Sarah Ferguson Will Run The London Marathon Like Icon Daughter Beatrice
PRINCESS Beatrice finishes the London Marathon and raises some money for Children in Crisis. And mum Sarah Ferguson is there to praise herself and her daughter:
“I have been her icon for the last 21 years and today she has become mine. I’m going to run the London Marathon next year.”
Maybe Beatrice needs to run faster?
Jedward’s Shake ‘n’ Vac Advert: Pictures, Video And Meow Meow
CAN X Factor Duracell Gonks John and Edward Grimes, aka Jedward, make the 1980’s Shake n’ Vac song a hit – and make Shake ‘n’ Vac the new meow meow?
We spotted the carpet cleaners remaking the 1980’s Shake n’ Vac song at London’s Dean Street Studios in Soho. Shake ‘n’ Vac is mummy’s little helper. Just dust. Stand on your head and inhale (picture 3). Sod the carpets…
Note: While photographing the shakers, a passing bike courier yelled out “They’ve got anthrax”. No cops within earshot meant the boys escaped. This time…
(PS – This is a joke. Shake ‘n’ Vac is legit and contains no drugs.)
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Twins John and Edward Grimes otherwise known as Jedward, prepare to remake the 1980's Shake n' Vac song at Dean Street Studios in Soho, central London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Tuesday May 4, 2010. The song comes from the advert for Shake n' Vac, which in 2009 was ranked as one of the top UK ads of all time and will this year be 30 years old. Photo credit should read: Johnny Green/PA Wire
Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Tiges Woods, David Boreanaz And The Rachel Uchitel Rumour
IS Tiger’s Woods’ old associate Rachel Uchitel the other woman in married Bonez (nominative determinism, folks) star David Boreanaz’s life story? Radar says the mistress tried to get money out of him by threatening to sell the story.
Boreanaz has already confessed to cheating on his wife of 9 years, Jaime Bergman, in People Magazine:
“Our marriage has been tainted with my infidelities. I just want to be open and honest. I was irresponsible. I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had a relationship with. She asked for money. I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion.”
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Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sandra Bullock Interview: Louis Bardo Bullock, The Universe, Jesse James, Poop And Pictures
SANDRA Bullock pulled a blind side when she adopted Louis Bardo Bullock, a child names after Louis Armstrong and someone called Bardo. Bullock tells us that she is to divorce Jesse James, the Vanilla Gorilla who, allegedly, bumped Nazi memorabilia with Michelle McGee and others.
Bullock is on the cover of Hello!, presenting her new baby, “the perfect little man”. Bullock Junior is black and had a bris – a Jewish circumcision. This is how Sammy Davis Junior started. We expect big things from Louis.
Louis seems to be being set up for a celebrity life. Says Bullock:
“He’s handsome, but it’s his spirit that’s beautiful. There’s a wisdom to him.”
Louis is three-months-old and wearing an expression Bullock says means “hurry up and get it done” – and which other mums might suppose means “I’m doing it. Plop. There ya go.”
Sandra says she won’t discuss the adoption to “protect her son’s privacy”. That’s Louis naked in his mum’s arms in Hello! magazine.
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Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Hello!, Key Posts | Comments (5)
Jack Tweed’s Cuddle Animal Laura Rose Jones In Pictures
JACK Tweed is not a rapist. Mr Jade Goody emeritus did not rape ‘Emma Watson‘. So, here’s “glamour girl” Laura Rose Jones to tell tabloid readers: “Bad boys are more fun.” Or as the Daily Star’s front-page headline puts it:
“Jack girl: I’ve been so foolish.”
Inside, over pages 4 and 5, Laura Rose Jones seems ambiguous. Has she been a fool or fallen? The headline yells:
“GIVE ME A BAD BOY ANY DAY.”
Saddam Hussein is dead. Osama bin Laden is missing. So, she shagged Jack Tweed?
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Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lynn Redgrave RIP: A Life In Rare Pictures
RIP Lynn Redgrave. The actress died yesterday in New York. She was 67. Who can not feel for Vanessa Redgrave. Her daughter, Natasha Redgrave, brother Corin and now her sister Lynn has passed in a short time. A career in pictures:
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Posted: 3rd, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Bra-Blow For Paris Hilton’s Breasts Pictures: D-List To DD-List
HAVING brought you a gallery of Paris Hilton being hypnotised by her chest – or was she hynotising her chest with her wonky eye? (discuss) – news is that she’s bringing out a range of bras for the flatter heiress.
Paris Hilton’s Brat Line Defeats Miley Cyrus And Jennifer Aniston? NSFW Pictures
She says:
“I have a bra that I designed for flat-chested girls and it makes your boobs look huge! It makes me look like a double-D.”
To prove the points, Paris has taken to stepping out without a bra (here). She will then undoubtedly whip one on and enter the room a fill minute before her chin. You will stare. But Paris wills stare harder…
Posted: 3rd, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Sally Dynevor’s Coronation Street Cancer Round-Up
SALLY Whittaker has cancer. Sally Whittaker plays Coronation Street’s Sally Webster, who has cancer. She would now like to be billed as Sally Dynevor, her married name.
In this week’s Hello!, you can read about Sally’s “brave battle”, her “darkest hours”, “secret anguish” and “breast cancer hell”.
In case you are confused between reality and fiction, the Daily Star yells:
CORONATION STREET: SALLY WHITTAKER REVEALS HOW BREAST CANCER STORYLINE SAVED HER LIFE
The Star – sister organ to OK! – makes no mention that the source of the scoop is Hello! magazine. And then it’s headline is augmented by a fact:
“This storyline could very well have saved my life.”
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Posted: 3rd, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Glee’s Lea Michele’s Macrobiotic Pictures
GLEE’S Lea Michele – she plays Rachel Berry on the hit show – is on the cover of Asos magazine, and inside she’s talking about herself. Lea Michele is in café dining on a breakfast of oatmeal with soy milk and berries. The writer, Luke Crisell tells us:
Lea is macrobiotic vegan, but is reintroducing fish into her diet, she also regularly injects herself with the vitamin B12 – ‘I’m all about health,’ she says
Indeed. Enjoy the pictures:
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Posted: 2nd, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jack Tweed, Jade Goody, Emma Watson A Rape Crisis
JACK Tweed, widow of Jade Goody, is not a rapist. This is a fact verified in a court of law. Jack Tweed might be a gormless pillock or a sex god. Form your own opinions. But he is definitely not a rapist. So, what to make of the NoTW’s story:
“My hell as I told Mum ‘I’m girl in Tweed rape’.”
In it, readers get to hear the words of the young woman who claims Tweed and his friend raped her. She is the “pretty student”. Her looks are relevant, apparently. Tweed did not shag a munter, rather he had consensual sex with a pretty young gel. Phew!
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Posted: 2nd, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kerry Katona’s Kids Beat Katie Price’s: Pictures
IN KERRY Katona “MY SHAME”, the Star says Kerry Katona is in her “most revealing interview”. Kerry says she wants another baby but is “SCARED OF MEN”
The transformation of Kerry Katona from desperate gurning mess into a front-line nation’s sweetheart is job akin to knitting diarrhoea.
The plan seems to be to make Kerry open and honest – and so trump all those previous open and honest interviews with still more openness and honesty. Kerry will become so open and honest that she will resemble a disembowled Saint Agatha.
First up, the move to cement Kerry as a victim.
KERRY Katona wants to conquer her fear of men and become a mum for the fifth time.
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Posted: 2nd, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Gumball 3000 Rally In Pictures: A Carnival Of Wealth
THE Gumball 3000 rally kicked off in London. The rich, famous, rich, sort-of-famous, rich and did we mention the rich all drive their cars from London to New York. The Iceland volcano will not win. Well, not really. You drive to Stockholm and then get a plane to Boston. Jade Jagger’s Jezebel was on the starting grid in Pall Mall. Also there was organiser Maximillion Cooper, Xzibit, Eve Jihan Jeffers, Michael Madsen and… Did we mention loads rich kids in expensive cars?
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Posted: 1st, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Who Is Hofit Golan? A Study In Pictures
WHO is Hofit Holan? The Gumball 3000 Rally kicked off with a party at the Crypt in central London. Michael Madsen, Tony Hawk, rapper Eve and the ubiquitous Hofit Golan were there. Who is Hofit Golan? And why she is every party and opening? Golan is “Israel’s answer to Paris Hilton or the Geldof girls“. Others have asked: “In the past we’ve tried to figure out who Hofit Golan is.” And:
According to the trusty Internet search, she’s an Israeli socialite. According to her commenting fans, she’s “stunning and a TV presenter and spokes model [sic]” who “looks classy and sexy.”
She seems to be pals with Tamara Ecclestone, a woman the colour of a hot night on the tiles. Who is she? Pictures to help you to decide…
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Posted: 1st, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (60)
Madonna’s ‘Private Diaries’ On Sale? No Word Yet From Melissa Crowe
WANT to buy what is claimed to be Madonna’s private journal? Anorak’s Man in LA reports:
NOT since someone obtained diaries, racy photos, used sex toys and other contents of a locker abandoned by Paris Hilton, has a storage facility’s contents been so talked about in Hollywood.
It would seem that a woman named Melissa Crowe forgot to pay the rent on a store-it-yourself locker and the contents ended up at auction, as they often do.
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Posted: 1st, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Grace Jones Presses Stillness On Lady Gaga
GRACE Jones took her original Lady Gaga face to artist Chris Levine’s exhibition ‘Stillness at the Speed of Light – Grace Jones‘, at the Vinyl Factory, Soho. We stood. We listened. We dared not. We wondered how long Lady Gaga – Madonna’s Camel – would last in a fist fight with Gaga, or a bitch slapping contest. The smart money was on “not too long”…
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Posted: 30th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: When Joan Collins Met Debbie Reynolds
WHEN Joan Collins met Debbie Reynolds backstage after Debbie’s one woman show, Alive and Fabulous, at the Apollo Theatre in London, we were there. We were not there when Edgar Allan Poe met Charles Dickens, when Sir Richard Burton hooked up with Brigham Young, when Thomas Stafford & Alexei Leonov met in space, when Henry Stanley & David Livingstone and when Adam met Eve. But we were there when Joan Collins met Debbie Reynolds…
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Posted: 30th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Tabloid Death Race: Katie Price’s Cancer, Peter Andre’s Death And Alex Reid’s Orange
KATIE Price follows news of Peter Andre’s kidnap death nightmare by being the subject of a “CANCER SCARE”. It’s a tabloid death race.
Yesterday, Peter Andre cradled his children on the cover of OK! and spoke of death and their kidnap. Now it’s Katie Price’s turn to wonder about the Grim Reaper tapping her on the shoulder and cancelling her contract. Mum Katie once had cancer on the tip of her finger. Some said it was the resisting place for her talent and when it was cut out her dreams died.
But, Princess TeneLadyMee, Junior Pete know that Pete is alive. Katie Price does not have cancer. So, try not to worry kidzzz. Mum’s eponymous embalming fluid is not on the market, yet. And dad had not to promise to stop singing to secure your safe return.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
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Posted: 30th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price Knows That Only the Rich Get To Be Kirsty Allsop
KATIE Price or Kirsty Allsop? A period piece or period features? Allsop of the TV Allsops, is upset that Katie Price is using Junior Pete and Princess TenaLadyMeee (aka Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez Kidz) to flog her clothes:
“She might as well just put her children up a chimney to earn some money. They have no chance in later life of leading private lives. By making them famous, you are removing their right to make that decision themselves.”
Kristy waited for her sister Sophie to reach puberty and beyond before introducing her to the telly. Allsop is daughter to Charles Henry Allsopp, 6th Baron Hindlip and former chairman of Christie’s. Dad’s a pal of Prince Charles. Her kidzz are called Bay Atlas and Oscar Hercules.
Says Kirsty:
Actually I think that’s why I like breast-feeding Oscar so much – it’s a great excuse to sit down and watch telly while doing something else,’
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Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Peter Andre In Dubai Kidnap Nightmare Death Plot: Pictures
PETER Andre is in a “DEATH & KIDNAP NIGHTMARE”. Seen on the cover of OK! cradling his kids, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez Junior, pop acorn Pete is all teeth and tan.
We join Peter Andre and Junior Peter and Princess in Dubai. They are at Atlantis, an irony-heavy venue in the fascist kingdom of sand and cement. Pete says that the volcano has left him grounded in the Emirates but in “true British style everyone has been in good spirits”. He’s not joking. But what of those “nightmares”?
Peter says he is “rejuvenated” “in paradise” with “beautiful people”. Which is a nightmare, right?
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Mephedrone Madness: N-Dubz’s Dappy Does GMTV
DAPPY, lead singer with N-Dubz, the Pop look-alike spotted snorting meow meow, aka mephedrone, is perched on the GMTV sofa like a pre-teen in the headmaster’s office. Can Valium Mum tuning in warm to the star?
The Sun looks on as Dappy is met by the gaze and questions of Andrew Castle. Dappy is sad. Dappy is sad face because he says meow meow is bad – and not in a good way. Says he:
“I’m more than glad they’ve banned this thing because I can see how many people are dying of it.”
He can? Well, tell the medics, Dappy, because although meow meow has been taken by people who have not longer after died there is no clear proof it kills on its own.
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Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (16)
In Pictures: FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women, Best Of
CHERYL Cole is the first British woman to top FHM’s top sexiest women for 2010. Rather, Cheryl Cole is the first Briton to finish top of FHM magazines sexist women polls ever. The top three are, in order: Cheryl Cole, Megan Fox and Victoria’s Secret model Marissa Miller. The poll, voted for by men unable or unwilling to buy porn mags, says Cheryl is also sexier than Kelly Brook (7th), Keeley Hazell (5th), Frankie Sandford (4th)fourth position, Britney Spears (44th) in 2010, Abbey Clancy (10th), Kristen Stewart (6th), Adriana Lima (8th), Jessica Alba (9th) and Harry Potter actress Emma Watson in at 29. Evidence follows:
Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sandra Bullock’s Black, Jewish Baby Brilliant Public Relations Blind Side
SANDRA Bullock was in film called the Blind side. Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James, allegedly, bumped Swastikas with walking bomshelter Michelle McGee and others. So, she does what a top Hollywood star does: she pulls a masterstroke called Louis Baredo Bullock.
Our man in LA sums up:
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Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Kerry Katona Exposes Peter Andre’s ‘Secret’ Hols: Pictures
KERRY Katona and pop acorn Peter Andre have gone on a “SECRET” holiday. This is “KERRY’S SECRETS HOLS WITH PETER.”
Having established rumours of a romance with tales of love and then scotched them in the small print section, the Star brings news of a jolly holiday for the Can Associates co-stars.
Kerry “begged” Peter to go on holiday with her “sensationally telling him: ‘I need you”.
No, dear reader, “pig-faced mole” Katona did not need Peter for sex (not that kind of secret hol) nor to act as a door stop but more likely to conjure a story out of nothing.
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Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
