Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Look What It Did To Kimora Lee Simmons’ Head: Photoshop Wonders
KIMORA Lee Simmons is a model and Creative Director for – get this – Phat Fashions (pronounced ‘Fat’). Kimora Lee Simmons is an ad campaign for her’ new smell called Dare Me.
You can see the images on N.Y. Magazine and WWD.
One whiff of Dare Me and you don’t eat for a week. Your head grows so massive and fleshy that your body looks lithe and toned. Allegedly.
It’s the miracle in a can…
Posted: 5th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Peter Andre Does Cold Turkey For ‘H’ In Nottingham
PETER Andre, former foil to Katie Price now being linked to Kerry Katona, performs on stage with his happy nipples at the Royal Concert Hall in the Royal Centre, Nottingham. He’s wearing a massive “H”. Is this his love for the former Steps hardman, now feared to be pressing up daises? No, it’s Peter’s love for Harvey Price-Yorke-Andre-Reid. And it’s a personal thing. So personal is it that Peter Andre tells the Star that he can’t broadcast pictures of Harvey to the crowd because of “reasons I can’t talk about. But he is with me 100% of the time in my heart every day.” Although not when Peter is shagging a former glamour model called Maddy Ford, because that would be to over-sentimentalise things…
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Posted: 5th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jennifer Lopez Goes Viral With No More Tears (Enough is Enough)
READY for the Jennifer Lopez shocker? Back in the late 70s when two two golden-throated divas – Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer – ducked into a recording studio to duet a song called No More Tears (Enough is Enough), there was no such thing as a digital do-over.
Fast forward 31 years.
It’s become an age of high tech voice recording, where anybody can be made to sound good. Even, for example, Jennifer Lopez.
Well, apparently La Lopez pissed off the wrong audio engineer during a recording session for her most recent album, ’cause he’s posted part of it on YouTube, without benefit of the digital bells & whistles that have enhanced her voice in the past.
The sound is posted on YouTube udner the title: “Jennifer Lopez MAJOR FAIL – Engineer Releases Scratch Meant for TRASH!” Only, well, it isn’t that bad – the feeling here is that this is a big of viral PR to help relaunch Lopez’s song. Spite travels well on the web, so the thing has already been watched hudnreds of thousands of times.
Here it is. The problem is that it’s not bad enough to be memorable. Lopez is neither sweary nor funny enough. Some bad language:
– Spotter and reporter RR
Posted: 5th, April 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
Britain’s Got Talent Hollie Steel And The Facebook Paedos
WHAT ever happned to Britain’s Got Talent’s sobbing ballerina Hollie Steel? Well, the paedos got her. Laura Montana remains unscathed. As the Lancashire Evening Telegraph reports:
“CHILD singing star Hollie Steel has been targeted by paedophiles on the internet, according to her mother.”
Paedos! And she’s been attacked on the web before.
Mum Nina, 37, said Hollie’s personal page on social networking site Facebook had been shut down as a result. She said the Britain’s Got Talent finalist had been sent four ‘disgusting messages’ from two people, including one person who was known to the police.
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Posted: 4th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Michelle McGee And Jesse James: The Bayeux Bomshelter’s Strip Club Special Pictures
JESSE James’s alleged walking tapestry, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, aka the Bayeux Bomshelter, is keepin’ it classy in San Diego.
She’s back at work at Pure Platinum strip club, where last night she was doling out $100 lap dances to patrons who wanted her to caress their deep pockets with her Wet Paint. Well, the website is still in the making as McGee was caught out by the story she, er, told to the tabloids.
In Pictures: Drunks Behaving Like Michelle McGee
Radar had a camera in the club for “Bombshell’s” Friday night return to work.
Apparently all the publicity about her affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James is paying off. (Spotter: RR.)
Posted: 4th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Katie Price’s Pensioner Phone Rage And Alex Reid Scores A Nose Job
KATIE Price is a “slapper”. Sorry, make that “Jordan is a “slapper”. The News of The World says this is “OFFICIAL”.
The referee is saying who is and who is not a slapper is the Sunday newspaper. News is that “STUNNED Easter shoppers” claim Katie struck “a pensioner” who admonished her for using a disabled parking space.
In the car with her was Harvey Price-York-Andre-Reid. Harvey was ever the star of the Katie Price circus. And, as ever, the adjectives tell the story.
The man is an “OAP”. Jordan is “screaming with fury”. She “slapped his mobile out of his hand as he raised it to his ear to call police”.
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Posted: 4th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
RIP John Forsythe: A Career in Pictures
RIP John Forsythe. You were the head of Dynasty. You died in Los Angeles, You were 92. But you looked younger. And you had great hair. You had Hollywood hair. Hey, you wer Blake Carrington. And you were John Lincoln Freund, which is what your mum called you. And you had a great phone voice, too. You were the voice for Charlie’s Angels. Now you’re with the angels. And his fans are fighting in a fountain. It’s what he would have wanted…
Posted: 2nd, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Doherty Spits Up On Live At Five
LIVE From Studio Five features Pete Doherty in the vicinity of Minnie Stephenson, one of the actual hacks who appear on the show to remind you that Ian Wright rolling his eyes and rocking back and forwards like a demented Weeble is not necessarily hard news. Anyhow, Minnie is “splashed” by Doherty’s beer as the singer promotes the Libertines reunion.
Minnie looks at the wetness and says “it’s so rock and roll”. Well, actually it might not have been splash, more spittle. If so, Minnie should count herself lucky. That spittle is worth a few quid on open market. A quick lick of her blouse and she’ll be rocking and rolling like that poor sod who sits in the doorway of your local Londis.
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Posted: 2nd, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Sandra Bullock In Bum Flashing Shocker: Video And Pictures
SANDRA Bullock (pictures NSFW) is now the subject of a media feeding frenzy.
(The media’s even gunning for Bullock because she’s part German and he’s a comedy Nazi.)
Jesse James is in rehab. Michelle McGee (NSFW), the Bayeux Bombshelter (your face here), is on webcam.
And Bullock is being jabbed in the eyes with flashing fishhooks.
Look out for the paparazzi crack in video 2.
Posted: 2nd, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Peter Andre and Kerry Katona’s ‘Romance’ And Katie Price’s Shrink
THE story of Peter Andre and Kerry Katona’s love for one another – the love story set in the offices of Can Associates PR – now encompasses Katie Price. The Daily Star screams from its front page:
Katie Price career in pictures (NSFW)
A straw poll of the populace reveals that:
41% of Anorak readers would rather see Terry Waite naked, tied to a radiator and drinking his own urine in their TV room than see Pete and Kerry
23% percent would rather eat their own thumbs
18% would prefer to lend Anthea Turner their last tenner
12% would rather inject their faces with yoghurt
5% responded by running around smashing their head into a brick wall
1% would vote UKIP
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Posted: 2nd, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Debbie Reynolds At 78
DEBBIE Reynolds marked her 78th birthday by holding a press conference to promote her new show, Debbie Reynolds Alive and Fabulous, which opens at the Apollo Theatre on 28 April. One day all celebs you’ve not heard of for decades will do a show called Alive and Fabulous, or “I Used To Be… It will be a short show that just does what it says on the tin…
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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Amanda Seyfried’s Minge Tattoo (Leighton Meester Reads On)
AMANDA Seyfried has the word “minge” tattooed on her foot. The left one. Leighton Meester, alleged star of that foot-tastic sex tape, might well look on with interest. Seyfried tells Glamour magazine:
“…Colin Firth used to say that word on set and Rachel had to explain to me what it meant. So it’s on my foot. It’s to make me laugh, and every time I look at it I do.”
Yeah, she can see her feet. An American actress who can see her feet is rare.
As for labelling your foot “Minge”, you wonder what Firth told her the word meant? And if it’s the answer to the poser: how do you confuse a foot fetishist?
Hayden Panettiere Presents The World’s Best Misspelled Tattoos
Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Heather Mills And The Making Of A Media ‘Lie’
IS the media interest in the Heather Mills v Sara Trumble shaping the tribunal? Are the parties playing to the hacks?
Mills claims her relationship with her former nanny went bad when she refused her £4,000 to undergo breast enlargement surgery. Trumble lawyer says that’s not so. Mills replies:
Heather Mills – The Funny Ones
“I had a breast reduction when I was 21 and I couldn’t pick anything up for weeks because it was so painful. I didn’t criticise her wanting to have a breast enlargement, I just felt it would have been wrong of me to help with something that could have been a reaction to her boyfriend or her hormones.”
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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Jesse James And Woman No. 6: Skittles Valentine
JESSE James, Sandra Bullock’s talented estranged husband, currently being monstered as a Nazi in the press is alleged to have been one Vanilla Gorrilla in a simian foursome with Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee, a latex glove, Eric McDougall and – get ready – Skittles Valentine.
After Bayeux Bombshelter Michelle McGee, Mel Smith, Brigitte Daguerra and more, meet Skittles Valentine.
Gone Hollywood gives this rubbing of ink the headline:
Jesse James Had Unprotected Sex with a Man
Jesse James is a gay Nazi? The story get no less fantastic when we meet Eric McDougall, head inscriber at Ocean Beach Tattoo and Piercing in San Diego, and his receptionist and walking appointment diary Skittles Valentine.
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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
In Love Kerry Katona And Peter Andre Climb Katie Price’s Greasy Pole
PETER Andre and Kerry Katona are together. The Daily Star told us “YES WE LOVE EACH OTHER”. It then told us: “KERRY & PETE’S SECRET LOVE NEST REVEALED”.
The Star’s sister organ, OK!, leads with “PETER AND KERRY”. Readers see sentimental Peter with Princess TenaLadyMe on his shoulders. To his side is Kerry Katona modelling one of her Katonarios as a shoulder throw.
There are:
“INTIMATE DINNER DATES & FAMILY PLANS”
Katie Price career in pictures (NSFW)
There is also a shared management. And pictures of Kerry hugging some flowers like it’s the world’s last kebab and Pete beaming by her side. Says Pete:
“I have always loved Kerry. If you could see her with children, you would know she has a good heart.”
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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, OK! | Comments (16)
In Pictures: Jesse James Lives Michelle McGee’s American Dream
JESSE James is an American success story, the former nightclub bouncer / biker, rising to the ranks of Hollywood royalty when he married Sandra Bullock. He also runs a great bike business and magazine. And he’s very likeable. (Thanks to our pal Iowahawk for that background.) But he’s met with Michelle McGee, allegedly, who is climbing her own way to the top.
US Weekly, says the Bayeux Bombshelter McGee’s new website (NSFW) had nothing to do with her shag ‘n’ tell:
“To all the people that think Michelle planned this drama, we can assure that if she had planned it, we would have had our pay-site and merchandise store ready for public consumption,” the statement snipes.
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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: ‘Anti-Semitic’ ‘Neo-Nazi’ Jesse James Proves Sandra Bullock Is German
JESSE James, Sandra Bullock and Michelle McGee: Jesse James is an American success story, the former nightclub bouncer / biker, rising to the ranks of Hollywood royalty when he married half-German Sandra Bullock.
He also runs a great bike business and magazine and is one of the best metal workers / fabricators in the business. And he’s very likeable. (Thanks to our pal Iowahawk for that background.)
But he’s met with Michelle McGee, allegedly, who is climbing her own way to the top.
US Weekly, says the Bayeux Bombshelter McGee’s new website (NSFW) had nothing to do with her shag ‘n’ tell:
“To all the people that think Michelle planned this drama, we can assure that if she had planned it, we would have had our pay-site and merchandise store ready for public consumption,” the statement snipes.
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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Sweat Lodge Victim’s Son Slams James Arthur Ray On Twitter
AS deposed New Age nimrod James Arthur Ray continues to sermonize from the comfort of his $4 million dollar Mulholland Drive mansion on the outskirts of Beverly Hills, the son of one of his (alleged) sweat lodge victims is firing back from half-way across the country.
This morning, the triple manslaughter suspect pontificated in a tweet that “The Universe is conspiring for my good. I am one with God and God is everything.”
Anorak’s Man in LA thinks someone needs a reality check.
Enter Bryan Neuman, whose mother Liz Neuman perished in the sweat-lodge-turned-human-barbecue last October.
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Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Pete Doherty Reforms The Libertines On Google Search
PETE Doherty and Carl Barat have been playing (music) at Boogaloo in north London in the aftermath that they are reforming The Libertines. Yeah, they’re gonna reform the band. The band, man. The band! So long as music is ranked in terms of Google search, the songs should be brilliant.
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Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Music | Comments (4)
In Pictures: Katie Price, Alex Reid And Other Funny People At The Channel 4 Comedy Gala For Doggers
KATIE Price and Mr Toffee Crisp, Alex Reid went along to the Channel 4 Comedy Gala, in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital, at the O2 Arena. Comedy and charity.
One so compromises the other. Comedy for good causes is to hideously unfunny. Comedy for terrible causes is better. A fundraiser for doggers or The Royals. Pictures:
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Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (15)
Heather Mills Court Case Pictures: Jury Calls Arsenal’s Eduadro And Aston Villa
THE monstering of amputee Heather Mills continues. The court calls Eduardo, Arsenal and Aston Villa’s “sick” and lame.
We’ve already told you of Michael Deacon, the Telegraph’s TV Features Editor, wondering if when Mills is spray tanned, as her nanny Sara Trumble alleges, that false leg gets a matching varnishing:
…Did the nanny have to spray Mills’s prosthetic leg too?
Deacon says the question is “mildly offensive”. It’s not offensive at all. It’s just an aside to the Mills-McCartney story, which has been relentlessly humourless and spiteful. There has been worse said of the Sun’s “Lady Mucca”. But the Telegraph wants it both ways.
When Arsenal’s Croatian striker has his leg snapped in an outbreak of anti-football, Aston Villa fans sang:
Eduardo..Woaahhh
Eduardo..Woahhhhh
He used to have silky skills
And now he walks like Heather Mills
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Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Sarah Ferguson’s Old Clothes For Sale: Unwashed And Warm?
PSST! Want buy Sarah Ferguson’s old schmutters? There’s an Issa dress and a Dolce & Gabbana skirt. The dress looks not unlike the one Monica Lewinsky modelled for Bill Clinton. The D&G skirt looks roomy. The bids are still low to own a piece of fashion memorabilia , still warm, so they say, from Fergie’s skin. Knickers no included… Spotter
Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Jesse James Presents The Top Ten Comedy Nazis
NEWS that Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James had been strafing Michelle McGee’s Bayeux Bombshelter with his Vanilla Gorilla was accompanied by allegations that the man had been posing as a Nazi. Well, In Touch magazine has pictorial proof.
So here is the picture of Jesse James wearing an SS officer’s hat while enacting a Nazi salute. Gawker’s Adrian Chen gets it wrong when he says:
These are two things you do not want to do by themselves. Together, they are exponentially worse.
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Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
In Pictures: Jesse James Reconnects With Bullock At Sierra Tuscon Experiential Therapy Workshop
YOU know Jesse James, the outlaw big chopper enthusiast who married Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock and allegedly cheated on her with Bayeux Bombshelter Michelle McGee, Mel Smith, Brigitte Daguerra and more? You know, the Jesse James who was once married to a porn star.
Jesse James the rebel?
Well, guess where he is? Yep, above all else, when the story is scrubbed down and disinfected, James is an American and that means he must end up in therapy.
TMZ reports that Jesse James is at the Sierra Tucson rehab facility. To save his marriage.
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Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
In Pictures: Jared Leto And 30 Seconds To Mars Play Geoff Lloyd Hometime Show
JARED Leto took his 30 Seconds to Mars combo to Absolute Radio in central London as part of the Geoff Lloyd Hometime Show. Jared sported the world’s biggest pair of ear plugs. But if anyone can carry off the look of having glue ear it’s Jared. Play on:
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Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
