Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Pictures Of Danny Dyer Being Throttled: Age Of Heroes
WE went along to see Danny Dyer being throttled. Whaddyamean you’d have paid a few nicker for the ‘ows’ yer fathers, know what I means?! Luverly. We spotted Dyer being encased in a neck lock by Sergeant Richard Harley, Physical Training Instructor with the Royal Marines, during weapons and combat training in Cobham, Kent, in preparation for the filming of a World War II movie, Age of Heroes. Danny likes to hang about with hard men. The harder the men, the better. Do you like your men hard? Throttling is a bit like auto-erotic asphyxiation, in uniform… It’s well ‘ard!
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Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Cheryl Cole’s Shocking Eyebrows And Election Vow
CHERYL Cole has “The Smile That Says ‘I’m Back On Top”. Well, she does in Hello!. Over in Closer magazine, Cheryl is “DEVASTATED”. She’s “barely eating and terrified Ashley will start dating”. Start? (NSFW) In other news, what Cheryl’s eyebrows say about the election and if Cheryl will date Prince Harry…?!?!?
Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Hello! | Comment (1)
Sandra Bullock’s ‘Pregnancy’ And Jesse James Hitler Surf Board, Pictures
SANDRA Bullocks and the “monster ” Jesse James No, not a Vanilla Gorilla. Well, not only. A monster. The Enquirer says that having allegedly shagged Michelle McGee, Melissa Smith (yeah, Mel Smith), and Posh totty Brigitte Daguerra, James is now one part of a £250 million divorce.
The story of James shagging walking tapestries is getting a little tired. And while we wait for Mystery Woman No.4 to tell all via a cartoon on her forehead, the Enquirer introduces “HER PREGNANCY HEARTACHE”.
Before that, know that James, allegedly, owns Nazi memorabilia, which might see him score a job at Human Rights Watch and so set about salvaging his image.
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Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comment (1)
Baseball Mistress: The Mindy McCready Sex Tape And Pete Doherty
READY for the Mindy McCready porn tape. Are you McC-rReady for porn, readers? In 1996, McCready had a No. 1 hit in 1996 with Guys Do It All the Time. But since then she’s been a singer better knows for her arrests and mug shots. Mindy McCready is America’s Peter Doherty.
This sex tape is said to feature a tape stolen from the country singer’s Nashville home and features her and someone called – get this – “Peter”.
The video comes out less than a week after the release of I’m Still Here, her first album in eight years, and just after her stint on TV’s Celebrity Rehab. It’s a cruel coincidence. As McCredy says:
This is the last thing on the planet I need right now,” she said.
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Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Photos: Ricky Martin Gay And Pope Has Balcony
RICKY Martin says he’s gay. Before that other shock news on how the Pope has a balcony, Christina Hendricks sleeps on her back night follows day, Ricky Martin says on offical Web site.
“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”
Ricky Martin has not been pretending to be gay – he really is gay!
Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (10)
Kerry Katona’s Two Dates With Peter Andre
NEWS reaches us via the Daily Star of Peter Andre’s “SECRET NIGHT” with Kerry Katona. Or to give it the full billing: “KERRY’S SECERT NIGHT WITH ANDRE.” The news is that Peter Andre is not known by one name but Kerry Katona is. As for the other news:
KERRY Katona has enjoyed a second night with the latest man in her life – hunky Peter Andre.
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Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
In Pictures: Jesse James Woman Number 4 Let’s Tattoos Do The Talking
WE won’t get to meet Jesse James alleged mistress number four because the woman who took the Vanilla Gorilla isn’t going to sell her story. And, no, she’s not going to give it away, nor will she act it out in mime on a Las Vegas street corner nor explain all by way of a tattoo on her face.
(Image: Jesse James’ hand tat.)
Having hired the ubiquitous Gloria Allred to represent her, Number 4 is staying quiet. You may suppose that this leaves number 4 out of pocket. She hires a lawyer and then doesn’t make any money to balance the books.
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Clash of the Titans With Gemma Arterton
TO the world premiere of a Clash of the Titans remake at the Empire, Leicester Square, London in the company of Gemma Arterton. The film is about the mortal son of Zeus heading off on a perilous journey that enables Arterton to wear thigh boots and leather bodices and yadda yadda yadda….
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Heather Mills V Sara Trumble: Spray Tans On False Limbs, Pictures and Round-Up
HEATHER Mills has been back in a court. No, she’s not seeking Beatles’ royalties under her real name of Penny Lane, allegedly. She’s in Ashford House, Ashford, Kent, to take on her former £260-a-week nanny Sara Trumble who is seeking compensation for alleged sex discrimination and unfair dismissal. Ms Trumble, of Westfield, East Sussex, also alleges she suffered changes to her employment terms following her maternity leave.
Mills’ biggest crime in the media’s eyes, of course, is to have shagged an ageing Ex-Beatle, married him and divorced him, taking with her lots of cash. In the meantime she gave great copy and a few saucy photos to boot.
The paper’s review a case pending a result:
One of the nanny’s allegations is that Mills forced her to give her “naked spray-tans”… If these naked spray-tans did indeed take place, did the nanny have to spray Mills’s prosthetic leg too? Or does Mills own a set of alternative prosthetic legs in a range of different shades, which she chops and changes according to the precise colour of her tan? – Michael Deacon
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
RIP John Hicklenton: The Flying 2000AD Artist Dies At Digitas
RIP John Hicklenton. A talented comic book artist, who worked on cult British comic 2000 AD, Hicklenton, had suffered from multiple sclerosis for 10 years. He died at the Swiss clinic Dignitas.
“The doctor, a locum, just stared at her computer screen,” he told the Telegraph, “and never once looking at me, said: ‘You’ve got MS. You’ll be dead in 12 to 15 years.’ Just like that.”
“Drawing is my walking now, I run with it, I fly with it. It’s keeping me alive. I have a thing with it. I can’t wait to get a piece of paper with a pen because it’s what I can control. I haven’t got MS when I’m looking at my pictures and I haven’t got it when I’m drawing them either. It gives me an ability to express that fear.’
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Madonna Back In London Before African Adventure
MADONNA is back in London. Having heard Lady Gaga’s thinly veiled threat, Madonna, 51, is here to prove that you can make musing in your 50s. We spotted Madonna land at Heathrow Airport with Jesus Luz and her other youngsters: David Banda, Mercy James and Lourdes. From here its off to Malawi. Hand sanitizer at the ready…
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
George Michael Cruises With Funny Looking Fag
STILL thrilled by the news that George Michael is gay and likes to smoke weed the Daily Mail delivers news of the tautological, spotting the signer in Sydney with a man and clacking its marmalade-coated tongue:
“No doubt, George’s boyfriend Kenny – who was not on the trip – is unlikely to be pleased with him pushing the boundaries on their open relationship.”
Can you push the boundaries of an open relationship? Discuss.
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Katie Price Fears She’s More Hated Than Cheryl Cole
KATIE Price, aka Jordan, is “the most hated woman in Britain”. It’s thanks of Katie Price, a glamour model with a disabled son and two other well-fed kidzz, the Lucille Ball – Desi Arnez act Junior Pete and Princess TenaLadyMee that Vanessa George, Tracey Connelly and Cheryl Cole (she puts personal feelings about what’s good for England’s World Cup heroes, readers) are able to sleep at night.
Katie Price career in pictures (NSFW)
The Daily Star brings news of hated Katie Price in “JORDAN’S STREET ATTACK TERROR”.
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Lady Gaga Before She Was Famous
LADY Gaga has just turned 24. She stood on stage in Australia and looked to “30 more years of making music”. Is this a threat to Madonna, the prototype on which Gaga is modelled? What happens when Gaga turns 54? Any ideas. While we wait let’s look back on those picture of Lady GaGa before she covered her f-f-f-face – to when she was pretty fanciable.
Note: These pictures were sourced on the web and not attributed to any copyright. If you own the copyright please contact us and we will remove the image.
Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Princess Diana Returns To Be Murdered With Shocking New Evidence, In A Book
PRINCESS Diana is back. No, she’s not yet ready to leave the fabled Six Floor of Harvey Nichols were she’s been living for some years in her own Nirvana. Princess Diana is back on the front page of the Daily Express. And the news is that she was murdered. You can argue with the inquests and the evident, but you cannot argue with a Daily Express headline:
“DIANA was murdered in plot to destroy her love for Dodi”
If any Express reader needs proof – and many won’t – they can turn to page 5 and learn:
“How plot to stop Diana and Dodi’s love affair ended in tragic murder”
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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
In Pictures: JLS Play The Albert Hall For The Teenage Cancer Trust
THEY went wild for JLS at the Teenage Cancer Trust concerts at London’s Royal Albert Hall. Roger Daltry, The Who frontman instrumental in the TCT gigs and charity is awaiting his knighthood.
Celebrity charity work is not all about grandstanding. It’s not all about Sean Penn wishing rectal cancer on people who voice an opinion. We spotted Aston Merrygold, Oritse Williams, Marvin Humes and Jonathan “JB” Gill of JLS meeting patients. We promised we’d name-check them all, so here goes – names after the gallery (all pictured):
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Kim Kardashian Tells All About Her ‘Date’ With Wayne Bridge
YOU know those stories in the Sun about Wayne Bridge’s “hot new date” Kim Kardashian, the homemade porn star and reality telly fodder?
You know, Wayne Bridge, the bitter footballer who let England down when married John Terry, his former captain at Chelsea – and former best mate – allegedly shagged the mother of Bridge’s child, one Vanessa Perroncel?
You know how that news of a date with Kardashian was followed by more Sun news that:
SOCCER star WAYNE BRIDGE is set to fly to the US for a date with former Playboy model KIM KARDASHIAN, pals said last night.
Well, Kim Kardashian has tweeted:
* “Who the hell is Wayne Bridge? LOL Someone please fill me in because I have no clue!”
Posted: 28th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Susan Boyle Loses £4Million
SUSAN Boyle, who celebrates her birthday on April Fool’s Day, “will pocket £20million this year as her second album hits the shops”. So says the Mirror.
The People factors in a recession:
Singer Susan Boyle celebrates her 49th birthday on April 1, but says: “I’m no April Fool – I’m going to be worth £16million by next year.”
She’s lost £4million?
The Daily Record says Susan Boyle is buying a £300,000, 1,700sq ft five-bedroom home.
The Sun is gazumped:
SINGING sensation Susan Boyle is bidding to buy her dream home – for a quarter of a million pounds.
The Mail has more facts, telling its readers that the home is “just yards from a police station”.
Should the Celebrity Police Force tire of nicking Pete Doherty and want to meet Boyle for walking with eyebrows or some such crime, they need only to stroll up the road for a photo op.
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Posted: 28th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (13)
In Pictures: The Arctic Monkeys For Teenage Cancer Trust
DID you see The Arctic Monkeys’ lead singer Alex Turner and with Jamie Cook performing at the Teenage Cancer Trust gig at the Royal Albert Hall, in west London? We did. The Teenage Cancer Trust is charity without the cynicism. It’s not always about the self-serving marketing and grandstanding. Which is rare… After Noel Gallagher and Them Vultures:
Posted: 28th, March 2010 | In: Music | Comments (4)
Cheryl Cole ‘Giggles’ In Hiding For 54 Minutes
CHERLY Cole, estranged wife to Chelsea’s Ashley Cole, has gone “into hiding“, says the News of The World. Last week, Cheryl Cole went to France, “put on a disguise” and went by boat to a “secret location“. What made the “nation’s sweetheart” head to France of all places?
The paper knows:
Cheryl fears people will think she’s playing games if she’s seen enjoying herself. A source said: “Her friends are telling her to live her life. The public are behind her.”
Or as The People puts it in a story about how much Ashley is determined to woo his wife:
Ashley, 29, has had no contact with estranged Cheryl since his 54-minute visit to their marital home two Fridays ago.
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Posted: 28th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Daily Mail Says Judy Finnigan’s Bad Knees And Detached Retina Make Her Look Drunk
THE Daily Mail spotted Judy Finnigan walking down Hampstead High Road on the arm of her husband Richard Madeley and told readers:
Judy Finnigan looks a little worse for wear…
Adding:
The former TV presenter looked a little bleary-eyed as the family took post-lunch stroll round the shops.
The allegation seems to be that the former big-time telly host was drunk. Yeah, newspaper hacks accusing someone of being drunk.
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Posted: 27th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Frank Zappa and Tom Waits’ Manager Herb Cohen RIP
RIP Herb Cohen – manager of Frank Zappa and Tom Waits, tough and litigious, described as resembling “a bearded fire hydrant”.
He was born in the South Bronx, had been a Marine, fireman and discharged from the Army as “incompatible” before arriving at the early 1950s Los Angeles folk music scene.
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In Pictures: Noel Gallagher And The Courteeners For The Teenage Cancer Trust
NOEL Gallagher and Liam Fray and The Courteeners were the latest musicians to perform a Teenage Cancer Trust gig at the Royal Albert Hall, in west London. Some charity gigs are mawkish and opportunistic, little more than a vehicle to grandstand the star’s big heart – and new material. Not this. After Them Vultures, that Oasis:
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Iggy Pop’s Last Stage Dive: In Pictures
IGGY Pop, the 127-year-old face of car insurance, says he will not be stage diving any more.
This is not because the insurance is hard to get, but because at a recent show at New York’s Carnegie Hall, Iggy aimed for the crowd and missed.
* The crowd parted and he landed flat on the floor.
Iggy was playing with the Stooges. Iggy is Larry, Curly and Moe in one. Says pop’s answer to Moses:
“When I landed it hurt and I made a mental note that Carnegie Hall would be a good place for my last stage dive. The audience were just like, ‘What are you doing?'”
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Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
In Photos: Melissa Smith And Michelle McGee’s Sugar Daddy
JESSE James’ alleged office bike chicks Melissa Smith and Bayeux Bombshelter Michelle McGee share one other thing in common. Yep, they both make good feature walls. But more than that they both express a desire for a “sugar daddy”.
Melissa Smith is a stripper by trade is reported in the Huffington Post as being after a man to “spoil” her (no not despoil her) while she tries to “get out of the adult industry and become my own boss“. But she is picky: daddy has to be between 30 to 90 years old.
Story continues after gallery:
Says Melissa:
“I am a Midwest girl, with a SO CAL attitude. I have a college degree in Fashion Design and work as an exotic dancer at the best club in Anaheim.”
Yeah, she loves clothes but makes a living out of not wearing many. Go figure. Here’s her advert:
I’ve only been on here 5 days and nothing but guys wanting to try to play me. Sending me explicit pics, running up my phone bill, and generally wasting my time. So please, contact me only if you are serious about meeting asap and spoiling me right away! I am a real girl in a tough situation right now, (broke up with ex and left me with the house note and bills) Going to lose everything real soon! So will a real man.
While Smith investigates if tattoes can be auctioned off (one carefree owner) we hear echoes the words of Michelle McGee:
With all these tats, you might think I was a big partier. Sure, I get really wild in the sack with my men, but I’m actually a graduate student in college looking for the right sugardaddy to teach me and be my sexy mentor. If you like big boobs and tattoos, mine will be the perfect fit. I’m working on my Masters Degree in Bio-chemistry in the Cal State system and already have my BS in biology.
Jesse James is not made of sugar, but his Gorilla is made for Vanilla. And he may too have a degree in BS…
Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
