Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
In Pictures: Jesse James And The Four Women
JESSE James women in photos. After The Bayeux Bombshelter Michelle McGee, Melissa Smith (yeah, Mel Smith), and Posh totty Brigitte Daguerra meet mystery woman number 4, who claims to have shagged Sandra Bullock’s husband – introduced by Gloria Allred.
No, readers, this new woman is not the legal confidant. Although if it were the story would be neat.
Another day, another dalliance for Vanilla Gorilla Jesse James, writes Anorak’s Man in LA.
And God knows if there’s an unjustly treated mistress to be defended, Gloria Allred will be doing her duty as the woman’s attorney and publicist.
James’ latest conquest to come forward chooses to remain a mystery mistress for now, allowing Allred to do the talking for her.
According to Gloria, the veiled vixen is a “beautiful model and business woman.” Doesn’t that description have hooker written all over it?
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Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Peter Andre Bans ‘Katie Price’ From His Liverpool Show
KATIE Price, aka Jordan, aks Kate, aka Katie Reed, aka Price, aka Katie Andre, aka the one woman content facto with so many names that the ambition to have her mentioned in every Daily Star story has been in a “BUST-UP” with Peter Andre.
This is the “astonishing rant” that “reveals hidden feelings”.
Before we get to that news, readers are told that Peter Andre “refuses to sing for Kate lookalikes”. Like the Katie Price lookalikes Peter used in his pop video; the look alike Chantelle Houghton who shares Pete’s agent and has dinner with him before the cameras; the boobs-alike called Maddy Ford he shagged?
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Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jesse James’s Vanilla Gorilla Meets Deann McClung, Allegedly
AFTER Michelle McGee, aka The Bayeux Bombshelter, Melissa Smith (yeah, Mel Smith), and Posh totty Brigitte Daguerra, Sandra Bullock’s husband Jessie James is said to have shared his Vanilla Gorilla with Deann McClung.
Yep, Deanne McClung. McClung. Few could have dreamt Tiger Wood’s alleged conquest Jamiee Grubbs would be bettered. Mr Proper Wang and Mr Phani Tikkala were aghast. And then we got to meet Deanne McClung.
She tells Radar Online that James is “an evil, brutal, terrible person”. She says she knows this because when she worked for Jesse James at West Coast Choppers in Long Beach, California “he forced her to have sex with him”. She sued him for sexual harassment in 2000. In 2001, the cases was settled out of court.
No details of any deal are made known.
James said she was embezzling and McClung “filed a retaliatory lawsuit which contained disturbing but completely false, accusations. The allegations in Ms. McClung’s 2000 lawsuit were utterly baseless then and are equally without merit now. Beyond that, her claims are not worthy of further comment.”
As for Sandra Bullock. Well, allegation that he shagged Mel Smith suggest a man easily seduced by a famous face, or one that looks like a beer mat…
Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Pictures: Peta Hires Octomum’s Litter
OCTOMUM’S litter has finally attracted the attention of Peta. CNN reports that Peta is to pay Octomum, Nadya Suleman, $5,000 a month to tell people that they should stop their pets breeding by spaying or neutering them.
The sign reads:
“Don’t let your dog or cat become an ‘Octomom.’ Always spay or neuter.”
Failure to do this will result in there being lots more dogs and cats for Peta to kill.
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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dennis Hopper Is Terminally Ill So Finally Gets A Hollywood Star And Dodges Wife’s Lawyers
EVER the entertainer, Dennis Hopper is terminally ill but still manages to give us a Celebrity Cancer News story. Hopper is not wasting his final moments with maudlin, soft-focus pap and is divorcing Victoria Hopper on grounds of – get this – “outrageous conduct“.
Dennis Hopper is so ill that his prostate cancer is described by his lawyer as “terminal”. He is, therefore, unable to attend court for questions.
His doctor, David Agus, says the actor is very weak and his wife’s lawyers “could actually threaten his ability to survive the current health crisis”.
How terminal is terminal? That question to you, Abdelbaset al-Megrahi.
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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Robert Pattinson Is Wet Wet Wet At Madame Tussauds
TWILIGHT actor Robert Pattinson is now waxwork at Madame Tussauds in London. It’s his toughest acting gig yet. But if it’s moody silences you’re after, R-Pattz is yer man. Pattinson has been hired to the tune of £150,000. But what’s this? It’s an imposter?! Marti Pellow, formerly of Wet Wet Wet – come on down…
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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Jesse James In Pictures: After Michelle McGee And Melissa Smith Meet Brigitte Daguerra
YOU’VE met Bayeux Bombshelter Michelle McGee. You’ve met Melissa Smith. Now meet Brigitte Daguerre, who claims that she too has shagged Sandra Bullock’s husband Jess James.
As TMZ reports, Brigitte Daguerre, 41, claims she met James when he invited her to work on his West Coast Chopper mag, which is the same ways he allegedly met Smith and McGee. Helpfully, Daguerre says she’s got 195 text messages, including one in which the self-styled Vanilla Gorilla (that’s James) says, “I’ll be your monkey.”
Yep, 195 texts. The marvel of digital memory cards mean diaries are cheap and easy to maintain.
Brigitte has, reportedly, “modelled for Playboy, Ken Marcus and many more!” She runs PoshGirlVintage, an online clothes story. Yep, Posh, as in classy.
On her blog, Brigitte’s latest story is headlined: “How To Get That Old Funk Out Of Your Vintage Gear.” We’d say it’s best to air the dirty stuff in public. It’s always best.
There is no word yet from James, but there are photos of Daguerre…
Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Cheryl Cole To Play At World Cup
HAVING introduced Cheryl Cole’s “NEW MAN”, Black Eyed Peas front-man Will.i.am, the Star illustrates pictures of Cheryl showing her ring-less fingers to the photographers and the headline:
“Cheryl: I’ll score with my new man at World Cup”
Inside and readers get:
“CHERYL BEATS ASH TO THE WORLD CUP”
And the news is that Cheryl is “starring” at the World Cup by appearing on stage with the Black Eyed Peas on June 10 “to kick off the tournament”.
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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Jedward Go Bananas
JEDWARD might have been dropped by their record label but the X Factor’s Duracell Gonks are not resting on their laurels. The lads are aiming to secure the banana mobile gig. Pineapples or bananas – these boys can do the lot. An insider says the lads hope to crack the Big Apple, a huge Cox’s Orange Pippin that Edward will stick on his head while John attmpts to knock it off with a boomerang banana toss. The whole thing will be brodcast on Saturday night telly before a panel of celebrity windfall fruits and presented by Vernon Kay dressed as a hand of bananas…
Spotter: Tabloid Baby
Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
In Pictures: After Michelle McGee Meet Melissa Smith
THANKS to Tiger Woods and Melissa Smith (more on her later) and Jesse James and Michelle McGee and Joslyn James and Sid James, no, not Sid James – all the stories about sex in the US are devoid of humour – we’ve not had to write only about Meow Meow, Romanians and child killers and anything else the newspapers have tried to scare us to death with. We can just sit back and enjoy a good story of extra –marital shagging.
Back to Melissa Smith, a stripper who claims to have been shagging Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James. TMZ says she’s done jail time.
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Posted: 24th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
In Pictures: Hasn’t Girls Aloud’s Sarah Harding Had A Boob Job?
“WORLD EXCLUSIVE” is the new tabloids’ latest buzz phrase. It’s not an exclusive if it’s not a WORLD EXCLUSIVE, preferably in capitals. This latest WORLD EXCLUSIVE concerns the Girls Aloud blonde Sarah Harding and the world exclusive news:
“HAS SARAH HARDING HAD A BOOB JOB?”
While this gives us and OK! a chance to show pictures of La Harding’s chest, it also encourage our world exclusive:
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In Pictures: Noel Fielding’s Eyeball Presents The Teenage Cancer Trust Comedy Night
NOEL Fielding was on stage for the Teenage Cancer Trust comedy night gig at the Royal Albert Hall. How else do you follow Them Vultures? Also there were Rhod Gilbert, Tommy Tiernan, Kevin Bridges, Jason Manford the ubiquitous Jimmy Carr but not Jerry Sadowitz…
Fielding spotted his own hair:
“I asked for Kurt Cobain but I got [Moors murderer) Myra Hindley, fuck you,” he declared as he arrived onstage before adding: “I am all The Police, I couldn’t even pick one. If Gary Numan fucked Andy Pandy, this is what (the offspring) would look like.”
There were jokes about Susan Boyle and Mark Owen but not Sean Penn – which was a pity because the man is a gift to cancer comedy…
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Posted: 24th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Girls Aloud: The Skinny On Cheryl Cole And Nadine Coyle’s Feud
GIRLS Aloud singer Nadine Coyle wants to tell OK! readers “THE TRUTH ABOUT MY EATING DISORDER AND FEUD WITH CHERYL”.
It’s not as is Nadine relies on her eating and her famous pal Cheryl Cole to achieve fame.
Last week, we learnt that Coyle was at “war” with Cole and:
“Nadine tries to keep very private and believes that her success will come through her talent and not any kind of media circus that might surround someone’s private life”.
This week Nadine is in OK! telling us that Paris Hilton told her “Oh, my God, you’re so cute”, that she’s “great with children”, her mum makes her a fry-up when she goes home to Derry (Nadine lives in LA) and that her lover Jason Bell is “incredible”.
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Posted: 24th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, OK! | Comments (2)
Cheryl Cole Supports ‘New Man’ Will.i.am
THE “WORLD EXCLUSIVE” on the Daily Star is that Cheryl Cole has a “NEW MAN”. This event is given full throat in the front-page headline:
“CHERYL: I’VE GOT A NEW MAN IN MY LIFE.”
Cheryl says she has “found the perfect man who she could be with forever”. Who is it? Him? Him? Why, it’s Black Eyed Peas front man Will.i.am.
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Posted: 24th, March 2010 | In: Heat | Comments (3)
In Pictures: That Michelle McGee Parody Of Sandra Bullock And Jesse James Is In The Can
WHEN we told you about the Michelle McGee-Jesse James-Sandra Bullock porn parody, we could not have guessed that life would toss up something even less edifying. The New York Post is reproting that Michelle McGee has shot a spoof video where she plays, er, Michelle McGee , a girlfriend plays Sandra Buttock and soemone with lots of tattoo and dungarees plays Jesse James. This is what the nadir of fame looks like…
Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Prince William’s Helmet Hair Bonds Courchevel Kate
IN this week’s Hello! you can share the “LOVE And LAUGHTER” of Prince William and earring muncher Kate Middleton in Courchevel. This is their “romantic getaway”.
What they are getting away from is a moot point, being as it is they are on the cover of Hello! riding a skidoo, which we believe to be William’s current job.
On point of note: a couple of weeks’ back Hello! introduced us to William’s new thick black barnet. This week, the hair is even thicker and shinier. Kate is wearing a helmet. But Wills prefers the feel of wind in his hair.
They “look like extra in a James Bond movie… The royal love birds kept their hands close as they joked and lighted with one another above the roar of the machine’s engines.”
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Hello! | Comments (28)
Wonders of the Solar System: Brian Cox’s Smiley Toy Box
THE latest sexy darling of atheists is particle physicist Dr Brian Cox, former rock star member of the band D:Ream. His current BBC2 show Wonders of the Solar System is wowing the so-called intelligentsia in the UK, for reasons beyond my understanding.
It’s telling us nothing we haven’t heard already: the Sun is awfully hot, Mercury is hot, too, but gets very cold at night, Venus is Earth’s carbon alter ego, and there are some helluva storms on Jupiter. True, I hadn’t seen some of the pics of Titan’s surface, but think of sand and stones and, presto, you have Saturn’s Worthing.
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Michelle McGee: Another Sex Club Worker Spills The Beans On Jesse James
AS a man’s Little Fuhrer salutes “nuts” Michelle McGee on the web and at Pure Platinum Strip Club where she performs, we hear from the Bayeux Bombshell’s “best friend” Mary Gusman, who tells the world of Jesse James, husband to Sandra Bullock:
“He said they were separated and he was going to leave his wife and go public with the separation after the filming of her movie.”
Gusman, who works at the aforesaid club, adds:
Michelle McGee (NSFW pictures)
“I think Michelle is sorry for other people getting hurt. She doesn’t apologize because she feels deceived by Jesse James. Of course, she does feel for what Sandra must be going through and feeling because on some level Michelle feels it too.”
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
EastEnders Star Natalie Cassidy’s Baby Weight Shocker
NATALIE Cassidy’s pregnancy occupies minds at Closer magazine, where the EastEnders actress follows her OK! tête-à-tête…
“I hope people realise that I really do have better priorities than caring what they says about what I’m eating or wearing…”
…by telling us:
“I’m no showing yet – and because I’ve been up and down in weight I could have easily kept it a secret for longer. But I didn’t want people to think I was putting n weight again.”
Or as she told us earlier:
“I’m in magazines all the time and the stories are all about my weight. That’s just hurtful.”
So much for better priorities…
Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole’s ‘Lost’ Baby and Phone Rape
CHERYL Cole has “lost” her baby. Sad news. And news that Cheryl’s brother Andrew Tweedy wishes to share with you via the pages of the Daily Star.
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage
On the paper’s front page, we learn:
“Heartbroken Cheryl Cole was set to become a mum when love-rat husband Ashley Cole’s affairs shattered her family dreams.”
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Them Crooked Vultures At The Albert Hall For Teenage Cancer Trust
ROGER Daltrey introduces Them Crooked Vultures – Dave Grohl, Josh Homme and John Paul Jones – at Teenage Cancer Trust gig at London’s Royal Albert Hall. The pictures:
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jennifer Aniston’s Brad Pitt ‘Meltdown’
WANT to hear about Jennifer Lopez’s “FURIOUS SHOWDOWN WITH BRAD”. That’s Brad Pitt. You do? Well, step this way. And you can also learn “Why she was left in tears”.
Before we invited our hair language expert to analyse what Brad’s trash bin diver’s beard says to Jennifer’s silky hair, the National Enquirer says “sobbing” Aniston has had a “full-on meltdown following a vicious argument with ex-husband Brad Pitt”.
Angelina Jolie Pictures (NSFW)
There then follows one of the most ironic stories of all time. You will note that ever since Bradgelina released the lawyers on the NoTW for saying they had split up, stories of Pitt and Jolie have been supportive and, well, nice.
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (3)
Transcript And Video Of James Arthur Ray’s First Sermon From Seclusion
JAMES Arthur Ray’s latest sermon is on the web. You can’t keep a good New Age guru down, writes Anorak’s Man in LA.
And you apparently can’t keep him quiet either… not even by charging him with three counts of manslaughter.
In what anybody other than Our Man in LA might consider a shocking turn, triple manslaughter suspect James Arthur Ray has taken to keeping in touch his flock of sheeple by way of the internet.
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kiss Ass Premiere Pictures: Brad Pitt Meets Christina Hendricks’ Kaleidoscope
KICK Ass is a sure-fire hit. Jane Goldman, Mrs Jonathan Ross, is not only a kaleidoscope version of Hollywood siren Christina Hendricks – she’s the driving force behind the film. There to help her launch the show at the Empire Cinema in Leicester Square were a load of big names: Aaron Johnson, Sam Taylor Wood, Claudia Schiffer and Matthew Vaughn and Brad Pitt. The one disappointment: Kiss Ass not Kick Arse. Pictures below:
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Posted: 22nd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Jack Tweed Conducts The Jade Goody Memorial Players
ANORAK brings you this update in Drum Banging mode (press f7) live from the Jade Goode grave site. As we bang this drum harder and harder and harder we are forced to SHOUT THE NEWS THAT JACK TWEED HAS BEEN SEEN NEAR THE JADE GOODY GRAVE.
It was Jade Goody’s memorial service yesterday and the Sun says that Jack Tweed was “SNUBBED“. Only he wasn’t. He turned up and lit a candle. Anyhow, here’s Jack photographed by Jade’s grave. Can you see him? CAN YOU SEE HIM? What d’yer mean we need to speak up?
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Posted: 22nd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
