Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
David Beckham’s ‘Joy’ At Daughter Mandela Beckham: Pictures
DAVID and Victoria Beckham are having a “WORLD CUP BABY”. It’s a fact on the Star’s front page:
“POSH & BECKS WORLD CUP BABY”
Great news. Just when Day-vid is at his lowest ebb, there’s baby news for the world. This is “secret joy for cocked ace”.
DAVID Beckham will battle back from his injury hell helped by the baby girl he has always craved.
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Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kate Winslet And Sam Mendes Divorce: Introducing Rebecca Hall
KATE Winslet and Sam Mendes Divorce: The dullest split in showbiz hisotry continues to enthrall anyone who likes their entertainment slow with lots of long moody silences.
Kate Winslet in pictures: NSFW
“MR Kate Winslet and his pal the young actress” is the Mail’s spite-laced headline illustrated by a picture of Same Mendes and Rebecca Hall.
Anorak has already brought you 10 reasons why Sam Mendes and Kate Winsley split. And there have been more reasons in the media since as the split is analysed by the critics:
Reason 11: Michael Musto in the Village Voice says:
I’m a big believer in the Oscar curse on celebrity marriages
Reason 12: Graeme Meadows tells Times readers that it’s not specifically the Oscars that killed off Sam and Kate, it was:
Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet’s marriage over? That’s showbiz
But back to REASON 14: Rebecca Hall, daughter of theatre director Sir Peter Hall and opera singer Maria Ewing.
* Kate Winslet had grown increasingly frustrated with her husband Sam Mendes’s friendship with the young actress Rebecca Hall, friends claimed last night.
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Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Charity Marathon Training With Princess Beatrice And The Hooray Harrriers
FANCY coming “Marathon training with Princess Beatrice, boyfriend Dave and the Bransons”?
Before you commit, let’s see what the Hooray Harriers are up in Hello!.
“On an icy morning, not long after dawn, a group of people start stripping off coats, scarves and body warmers in a London park.”
We’re gripped:
“Donning black and green T-shirts bearing a caterpillar logo, they set off on sirs of warm-ups before running side by side in twos…. But this otherwise ordinary team includes some rather famous faces.”
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Hitting Saba Douglas-Hamilton’s Eco-Safari Park By Plane
SABA Douglas-Hamilton is the “TV Wildlife expert” and of noble stock. In this week’s Hello!, Saab introduces us to her daughter Selkie and an eco-safari park. Before that, Hello! is in full flash flood mode:
“She has lived with wild chimpanzees on the Ivory coast, run barefoot among herds of elephants in Kenya, been shipwrecked off the coast of Angola and tracked polar bears in the arctic wilderness… But ask filmmaker Saba Douglas-Hamilton what the greatest adventure of her life has been and she sums it up with a single word and broad smile: ‘Motherhood.”.
Saba, who fronted adverts for the Nissan x-Trail, has an eco-safari camp.
Hello! ends the article by telling readers that Saba flew from Nairobi to Samburu with Safarilink, the only airplane powered by parrot wings…
In Pictures: Miley Cyrus Twitters About Being Real
MILEY Cyrus is growing up and telling teens that posting images of yourself grinding a chair on Twitter or dressed in your bra and knickers is so last year. Sure it worked for Miley but it will not work for you. It will harm you. Don’t be normal – be deep like Miley.
Teenagers need to grow the hell up and stop using the internet. They need to be more like Miley Cyrus who is no longer using the internet to tell us about her life but talking to real journalists using real pens they whittled from The Mayflower to tell us how right she’s got things.
Kids – you need to get away from the web and go out to the street and buy a real magazine to read about Miley. You may get run over by a bus on the way, but it would be a real bus driven by a real driver and not a virtual one controlled by a 15-year-old jockstrap model with a Wii who’s actually a middle-aged man in a paedo holding bay in Rhyl.
You need paper pictures of Miley you can stick on your bedroom ceiling.
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Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Ten Reasons Why Kate Winslet And Sam Mendes Split
KATE Winslet and Sam Mendes split and the world reacts with a massive lack of interest. Mendes won’t see Winslet naked until she’s in another film. Winslet won’t see Mendes until he’s directing her in one. Still, it’s a slow news day and the media needs to create a sensation. Here’s the round-up of no-news news and all the reasons so for the split:
Daily Mirror: “Secrets of Winsley marriage split”.
It’s front-page news. But what are these “secrets” revealed within the paper?
Well, the Mirror says the marriage has been “going downhill for the past two years”.
Yep – divorcing stars were not getting on that well. They also had a “series of rows”.
The Sun comfirms the rows:
A source says that the couple had been “arguing a lot”.
Kate Winslet in pictures: NSFW
Daily Beast: “Why Winslet and Mendes Split”
Being directed by your husband in love scenes with Leonardo DiCaprio would put an awkward crimp in any marriage.
Did you pick up thet whiff of ther pervy home movie? The film was Revolutionary Road – available through all good adult contact magazines.
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Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The Weigh In: Private Nadine Colye At ‘War’ With Cheryl Cole
YOU wait an age for an article of Girls Aloud’s Nadine Coyle and then you get two at once. heat magazine leads with:
“IT’S WAR”
This is the tale of Nadine’s war with Cheryl Cole. Or as heat puts it:
“EXPOSED: Jealous Nadine’s bitter feud with Cheryl”
A source “close to the star” [that’s Nadine] tells us that “Nadine tries to keep very private and believes that her success will come through her talent and not any kind of media circus that might surround someone’s private life”.
Is this the same Nadine Coyle who appeared in OK! magazine canoodling with then lover, Jesse Metcalfe, the star of TV’s Desperate Housewives?
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Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Heat | Comments (2)
Angelina Jolie’s ‘Lust’ for Vanessa Paradis And Johnny Depp’s Delight
ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt are taking in the sights and shops of Florence as Ange films The Tourist with Johnny Depp. Yes, Angelina and Johnny Depp are working together. Cue the rumours of romance. Here’s the National Enquirer’s front-page headline:
“Angie’s lust for Depp’s lover!”
Eh?
“She wants Vanessa, NOT Johnny.”
Vanessa Feltz? Vanessa Perroncel? No – It’s elfin French singer Vanessa Paradis, last seen getting into Joe’s taxi and having children with Depp. “Sources” say that Jolie wants to romance her. The news is so incredible that the Enquirer repeats it in big yellow ink:
“ANGIE HOT FOR JOHNNY’S GAL – It’s NOT Depp she wants, it’s sexy Vanessa.”
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Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (7)
Anthea Turner Meets The Fans One At A Time In Her Lemon Of A Show
FORMER GMTV and children’s programme Blue Peter presenter Anthea Turner was getting set to wow them in the aisles at a Preston, Lancashire, theatre next month. The gig attracted only two tickets sales by the start of last weekend and a “few” more went yesterday.
Grateful to the Lancashire Evening Post’s excellent Weird World for the pointer, writes Bat E Bird.
Anthea was said to be not too popular with GMTV co-presenter Eamonn Holmes, now Sky’s am anchor. Little Miss Tippy Toes springs to mind, adds AGW in the forums.
The Daily Express today confirms what we all knew, Anthea Turner, 49, does not have too many fans out there and is no longer a bums on seats attraction.
Her plan to tour with a one-woman stage show is down the toilet after dismal ticket sales.
Anthea, 49, a former Blue Peter and GMTV presenter, was to be the Perfect Housewife on stage. Cashing in, she hoped, on the TV show of the same name.
Two shows were planned , one in Preston and the other in Grantham, more would have followed if those had sold well. Only a handful of tickets at £16.50 went in Preston and the cut-price £12 tickets at Grantham have sold just over 40.
The shows were to include “10 things Anthea can do with a lemon” The first show was to have been tonight at Preston’s Charter Theatre. But a theatre spokesman said: “The ticket sales were terrible.”
Anthea’s agent said:
“The show has been postponed because Anthea has got involved with a North American TV show and had to fly out at short notice. It was not because of poor ticket sales.”
No, of course not. The North Americans in the far reaches of Canada needed a ray of sunshine. Or is Anthea off to crack the US? Well, how else do you follow Preston?
Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
In Pictures: Jennifer Aniston’s Insulting ‘Fake Relationship’ With Gerard Butler And…
HAVING saved Mexico by selflessly undertaking an expensive holiday there, Jennifer Aniston is telling everyone who will listen that promoting The Bounty Hunter movie with Gerard Butler is one thing while her private life is something private.
Jennifer might be seriel co-star dater but she’s not dating Gerard Butler, you know, the one she cosying up and cudlding and frotting on the red carpet. As she todl GMTV viewers in the UK:
“All this, that me and Gerry are in this fake relationship for the press of our movie, or the selling of it, it’s just so insulting at the same time but again, it’s the story – I’m getting to a better place in understanding that they’re just making money.
And she’s still talking about thsoe awful tabliods not talking about the movie:
When asked about the tabloid chatter, Aniston asked “what chatter? I hear about it, I don’t read it. You have to get better over time. You have to… build up a tough skin…. We work really hard on our jobs… you don’t want to be known as sort of a ‘tabloid face.’ That sort of distracts from what you do and what you work really hard at. Which is our movies… It’s almost like another job that you have not chosen to be a part of. It’s a soap opera that you do not sign up for.”
Oh no?
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Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
LA Times Airbrushes Peter Graves’ Naked Paedophile
NICE old guy that Peter Graves has died. We’d see him at the Gelsons supermarket in Pacific Palisades, pushing around the shopping cart, buying his own groceries, writes Anorak’s Man in LA.
Everyone knew him from Mission: Impossible and the A&E Bioography series, but his true immortality was from the movie Airplane! in which he played the perverted airline pilot who says to a kid visiting the cockpit:
“You ever seen a grown man naked?”
That was the famous line, right? So why does the LA Times, his hometown daily, write that Praves played a “bumbling” pilot whose “one liners” included:
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
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Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Marion Cotillard Wins The Chevalier Award: In Pictures
MARION Cotillard and US director Tim Burton have been awarded, respectively, the Chevalier and Officer of the Order of Arts and Letters by French Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand in Paris. Cotillard looked terrific. Burton looked like pleased. And his wife Helena Bonham Carter looked like she’d fallen off a deckchair into the Alice in Wonderland dressing up box …
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Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Take That Sex Story Pictures: Howard Donald Is Mark Owen’s Ashley Cole
AFTER news of Take That’s fallen possum Mark Owen’s sex life, the tabloids tell of Howard Donald’s alleged sex with married Dutch fan Merith Van Onselen, 28.
Says the allegedly cuckolded husband Dave Koevarmans, father to their child in words that should rise a smile:
“I always thought MARK OWEN was her favourite.”
But Mark was in a solid relationship with [insert name here] and was not available.
Howard Donald – Fame And Women
The whole story of Donald’s alleged sex with a fan is told in one breathless News of The World paragraph:
Singer Howard Donald romped with 28-year-old Merith Van Onselen behind the back of the mother of his youngest daughter at the height of the group’s comeback – after wooing her while high on cannabis.
That is how you write tabloid news, readers. Amy Nelmes knows her stuff.
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Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Cheryl Cole Snubs England And Full Details Of Meeting With Ashley Cole
CHERYL Cole is “plotting an Ashley-free future”. Cheryl is planning a “new life in America with her mum”. Well, so reports the Star in “CHERYL’S REVENGE“.
That’s right, the “nation’s sweetheart” is planning to turn her back on Blighty. Well, so says the Star. She’s not like Our Ashley Cole who will proudly don the Three Lions and do his bit for England. Cheryl’s revenge seems to be on us, her subjects.
With David Beckham out, Ashley Cole is an even more valuable member of England’s World Cup team. With a few short months until the World Cup, we begin our countdown to when Ashley Cole will win the World Cup for England and return a man who – as the tabloids will tells us – failed to let his wife’s pop star ambitions ruin the country’s dreams…
In other news, the Mirror tells us “What REALLY went on” when Cheryl met Sir Ashley.
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Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Show Shiloh To Florence
THERE goes Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on a low-key child army trip to Florence, with Pax, Maddox, Zahara and “cross dressing” Shiloh reminding us that she’s the one with the genes. She’s the star. They went to the Uffizi Gallery to see Sandro Botticelli’s Birth of Jolie. Then it was on to the Ponte Vecchio.
No, not that fine place at the Ritz-Carlton, Las Vegas, which can be hired for such grand happenings. This is an old bridge in old Italy where you can fight the tourists shopping for yellow gold trinkets and Duomo snow globes. Las Vegas has the kind of class Italians can only dream of. We saw them.
Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
In Pictures: David Schwimmer’s Lover Zoe Buckman Marries Her Dad
SEEN David Schwimmer’s wedding to Zoe Buckman – The One With The Dorky Groom?
If David Schwimmer’s upcoming wedding were an episode of “Friends,” that’s what it might be titled, writes Anorak’s Man in LA.
Schwimmer has announced his engagement to 24-year-old Zoe Buckman. Schwimmer is 43. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
If you check out Zoe’s website, you’ll find the three photos above. Seems to The Big Cheese that girlfriend’s got some kind of scatological obsession going on here. But who is The Rat to judge?
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Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ashley Cole’s ‘Terrified Child’ And The Missing 10 Minutes With Cheryl Cole
HUGE debate and controversy over Ashley Cole’s missing 10 minutes with Cheryl Cole, the “nation’s sweetheart”.
Earlier, the Mirror’s Dan Piper had told us:
Furious Cheryl Cole threw ¬disgraced husband Ashley out after just 20 minutes when he turned up for their first face-to-face meeting in a month.
The Daily Mail says:
The Cole shoulder: Cheryl gives Ashley just half an hour to grab his things before asking her mother to show him the door
What happened in those missing 10 minutes? Was the tabloid watch stopped for Ashley’s injury?
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Posted: 14th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Haiti Earthquake Victims Feature In Final Fantasy XIII For PS3 And Plastic Surgeon Gift Certificates
CELEBS were helping themselves to help Haiti at Melanie Segal’s Hollywood Helping Haiti Lounge. Segal hosted one for the Golden Globes. She Tweeted, tastefully:
Golden Globes Lounge – “Hollywood Helping Haiti” – was 1st Haiti benefit in world, 24 hrs after quake!
We’re Number 1!!!!
All the freeloaders – sorry, celebs – who attended the dignified looting signed a t-shirt which will be auctioned off for Haiti. And when they signed up for Haiti they scooped a goodie bag contained £4 worth of booty – it being what Haitians would have wanted (source radar online).
They got… And let’s not be churlish- it is for charidee:
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Posted: 14th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Glee Cast Do The William S Paley Show: In Pictures
GLEE were on view at the 27th Annual William S. Paley Television Festival. Actors Cory Monteith and Mark Salling and Co-creator/Executive Producer Ryan Murphy and Jayma Mays were there to sign autographs for fans at the Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills, California. Know that: “The Paley Center for Media leads the discussion about the cultural, creative, and social significance of television, radio, and emerging platforms for the professional community and media-interested public.” Yep. That and it being a great chance to flirt with TV star….
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Posted: 14th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Corey Haim’s Death My Legal Means And Echoes Of Jackson, Gans And Murphy
THE autopsy and toxicological test results on Corey Haim are not yet in, but already the death of the former child star is being attributed to prescription drugs and mentioned in the same breath as that of the Las Vegas Strip superstar Danny Gans.
California’s Attorney General Jerry Brown has linked Haim to an “illegal and massive prescription-drug ring” and says his office is investigating “an unauthorized prescription under the former child star’s name that was found during an ongoing investigation of fraudulent prescription-drug pads ordered from a vendor in San Diego.”
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Posted: 14th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ashley Cole Goes German As Cheryl Cole Gives Him The Boot
CHERYL Cole has told Ashley Cole to “GET OUT”. Cheryl has asked for privacy in the matter of her impending divorce from England’s World cup hero (surely disgusting love rat? – ed).
Dean Piper says:
Furious Cheryl Cole threw disgraced husband Ashley out after just 20 minutes when he turned up for their first face-to-face meeting in a month.
Or as football fans might put it:
Cheryl failed to offer care and love to England left back Ashley Cole in a cruel snub that threatens to the country’s World cup bid.
Until the World Cup, when Ashley holds aloft the famous trophy, it’s is Cheryl who is the “nation’s sweetheart”.
Heartbroken Cheryl refused to speak to him, see him or even allow him into the same room as her at their £3million mansion, we can reveal. She stayed out of sight in the living room in a humiliating snub to philandering Cole, who was given just a few minutes to pack some clothes.
Privately, of course.
Then enraged Cheryl got her mother Joan, 50, to show him the door.
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Posted: 14th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (17)
Mark Owen Does Women And Rehab: In Pictures
MARK Owen, the Take That signer with the drinks issues and ten notches on his magic stick is in rehab. Owen has been confronting his inner demons in the Sun, and asking for privacy on Twitter.
The pick of the headlines is:
* Take That – Take That Star Owen Enters Rehab
Well, when all the groupies have run out…
Says one woman: “You’re joking. I thought Jason Orange looked smaller in the flesh.”
Posted: 13th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Corey Haim’s Iatrogenic Death: Danny Gans, Michael Jackson And Photos
COREY Haim’s death is being linked to an illegal prescription drugs ring. Michael Jackson and Danny Gans succumbed to iatrogenic deaths. Did Corey Haim go suffer the same fate?
Well, no coroner’s report is in yet. But the speculation is rife. Reports are that vials of Vicodin, Valium, haloperidol and a muscle relaxant were found in Haim’s vicinity. Shades of Brittany Murphy.
Says California Attorney General Jerry Brown:
“Corey Haim’s death is yet another tragedy linked to the growing problem of prescription-drug abuse.
“This problem is increasingly linked to criminal organisations, like the illegal and massive prescription-drug ring under investigation. It’s a serious public health problem.”
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Posted: 13th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Leona Lewis Buffs Up Matt Goss’s Live Show: In Pictures
IT’S been sometime since Bros gave full throat to the big question of the 1980s: When Will I Be Famous? Some months after that poser was tossed into the ether, Bros disbanded. Craig Logan (the other one) became a record executive. Luke Goss trained hard at football and became Craig Bellamy. And Matt went on to star in a Live Act at Caesars Palace Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. There to see him were Robin Antin, Leona Lewis, Mel B and Natasha Bedingfield. Is this the answer to the question? You will be famous when you know Leona Lewis…
Posted: 13th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jade Goody’s Mother’s Day: Freddie’s Amazing Shoelaces And Jackiey’s Grave Watch
JADE Goody is being remembered in the Sun. This is “Jade – One Year On – by her mother Jackiey for Mother’s Day”. Jackiey writes an opens letter to Jade, who in heaven is reading The Sun. Jackiey is, as ever, posed by her daughter’s grave, lest we forget Jade is actually deceased and not part of an elaborate ruse to make the tabloids like her.
The letter feature the line:
“It’s a simple inscription but we were never a family for grand speeches so I thought it was fitting.”
Maybe not grand speeches, but they are given to making long ones. This one’s been a year in the making.
Before we get to the Sun’s mawkish exploitation, Jeff Brazier, father to Jade’s son talks to the Star:
“Bobby and Freddy are coping and they are truly happy but there isn’t a day that goes by when they don’t think of Mum. That will be especially true for Mother’s Day. Jade was the best mum my children could have had and she is loved and never forgotten.”
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Posted: 13th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
