Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
The Death Of Strictly Come Dancing Comic Jason Wood
JASON Wood is dead. The British entertainer was 38. He died in Bournemouth, Britain’s answer to Switzerland. Details of his death are still unknown. And the media is barely reporting on him. He was once on Strictly Come Dancing. And then… Anorak’s Man in LA looks at the story:
SO why is the British tabloid press ignoring the death– and life– of gay musical impressionist Jason Wood, who died in his sleep over the weekend at 38?
While Wood was known nationally as host of a number of reality television shows, and had a place in British television history as the first celebrity voted off the successful Strictly Come Dancing series, his mysterious death after a performance in Bournemouth and hours before a scheduled show in London, has gone unmentioned in all but a brief BBC report, and coverage on the gay media and some show business websites.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole’s Divorce In Pictures: Ashely’s Tattooed Women And Blaming Joan
CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole Divorce: Cheryl’s tattoo spreads, Jonathan Ross, blaming the mother-in-law Joan and John Terry. Anorak’s round-up of the big story:
The Sun’s front-page news is that Cheryl Cole is being erased. No, Cheryl is not dead. She is merely morphing into Chelsy Tweedy by having her tattoo removed. And, as luck as it, this change is taking place just as Chelsy is poised to crack America and put her hair in a bun.
The Sun tells readers that Cheryl is to have her “Mrs Cole” tattoo removed – the one that adorns the back of her neck in the style of a toddler’s felt tip doodle. It looks as if Ashley daubed it during a night of love. Do other women bear this “tag”, as graffiti-ologists call it. Check in the mirror. Ask a friend to help by holding a mirror to your rear while you face forward into another mirror.
Other love notes to look out for:
“Ashley was here”
“LOST: Mobile. If found call Cheryl’s mobile”
“I am not Ashley Cole”
In other news, the Sun continues to hunt down Ashley Cole, who – and this incidental to its daily stories on him – once sued the paper and won.
In “LOVE RAT SIDESTEPS SUN’S BIG QUESTION” the paper tells us:
“Ashley refused to say sorry for betraying Cheryl yesterday after the Sun tracked him down to a swish sports clinic in south west France”.
This is the swish clinic where swish Ashley is having his swish broken leg treated, swishly.
The story is that Cheryl is the nation’s sweetheart and in letting her down the Sun wants answers from Ashley, the anti-sweetheart. The Sun will fight, fight, fight for Cheryl, patron saint of teary hugs, mojo and toilet attendants.
Cheryl Cole And Ashley Cole’s Marriage In Pictures
And the thing is that it wasn’t Ashley’s fault. If you want to blame anyone, blame his mother-in-law, Joan. A source tells the Star:
“He blames everything on Joan living with them. He says they haven’t had room to breathe and moaned that she took her daughter’s side in everything. They couldn’t even have a proper row he said. But Cheryl insisted on her mum moving in after he cheated on her the first time. He was so desperate to keep the marriage going he would have agreed to anything. But he didn’t think of the long-term problems.”
Yep, this is the same Ashley Cole who blaming himself just yeterday and was talking of having therapy. Auch are the facts.
But wait a moment. It was Cheryl’s fault. The Mirror reports:
“One minute Ashley is grovelling and apologising for his betrayals and the next he is blaming her successful career for the split. Cheryl has been told Ashley strayed because he felt so alone in their marriage. Whilst she was off working on X Factor and with Girls Aloud, he was either at home alone, or in a hotel room playing video games while away with Chelsea.”
Poor, Cheryl. She is said to be all ready to “open her heart” to Jonathan. No, not John Terry. Jonathan Ross.
Let’s not complicate things…
Why John Terry Escapes And The Sun Guns For Ashley Cole
Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Justin Bieber Performs In Paris: Pictures
JUSTIN Bieber is hotter than a wasabi enema. Bieber is the Canadian singer with the boyish Osmond looks performing live during a showcase at the Universale Headquaters in Paris, France. Anorak was there to see him. They say you can hear the screams in Calais…
8433562
Posted: 24th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Divorce: Baby P, John Terry’s Great Escape And Trousers
CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole Divorce: You’ll have read the details, gazed upon the love, seen the pictures, met the girls and studied the conspiracy. But what does it mean? Are you Team Cheryl or Team Ashley? Helping you to decide what to think of two people you’ve most likely never met (texts don’t count) are the columnists. They’re here to help:
Polly Hudson (Mirror) –
“Whatever the (icky) circumstances, she has lost the man she loved with all her heart, and she’ll need every ounce of her trademark strength and bravery to see her through”
For more on Chezza’s trademark strength and bravery read this.
Sue Carroll (Mirror)
Only a fool would believe they could pull the wool over a smart, streetwise and savvy Cheryl
Sean Hamilton (Sun)
What a relief. Cheryl has done what we’ve been screaming at her to do for two years and dump arrogant love cheat Ashley
Daren Lewis (Mirror)
Ashley Cole is – “The kind of pantomime villain that even people who know nothing about his very public marriage will hate – just because everyone else does
Jane Moore (Sun)
Elin gives lesson in coping with dignity
Elin is wife to Tiger Woods – the dignified woman who, allegedly, chased after her husband with a golf club and smashed his car with it…
“Now Cheryl Cole has used the inevitable attention of the paparazzi to let it be known that her cheating husband Ashley is so last season that she’s already allowing another man to dwell a deux in her LA hotel room until the early hours”.
Cheryl Cole, Derek Hough, A Terrier In The Bedroom And Ashley Cole’s Women
Patrick O’Flynn – The Express’ Chief Political Commentator (no less)
Whatever became of society’s sense of responsibility?
O’Flynn is the picks of the bunch. Ashley Cole is placed in the same context as Sabah Al-Zayyat, the GP who failed to spot Baby Peter Connelly’s injuries, Mark Johnson, the police dog handler who “left his two ‘beloved’ Alsatians to bake to death” in his car and Jamie Tandy who broke his girlfriend’s nose.
Oliver Holt (Mirror)
I have only met Cheryl Cole once. She saw me and a colleague from The Independent talking to Victoria Beckham in the bar at the Brenner’s Park Hotel where some of the English press and the wags stayed during the 2006 World Cup.
She assumed, understandably, that we were bothering Mrs Beckham and, with the accompaniment of a few evil glances at us, let her know she had ‘got her back’.
She left us in little doubt that we were in for a battering if Mrs Beckham gave her the nod. Not quite as demure as her act suggests.Poor old Ashley. I’d put money on who wore the trousers in that splintered household.
Matthew Syed (Times)
But this is nonsense, too. Even if Cole corroborates this version of events (which is doubtful), he is entitled to ask why the misleading of club officials was not of any great concern when Terry secretly took three businessmen — actually undercover reporters — on a tour of the training ground (on club time and on club property) in return for £10,000. “If the club finds out, it’s a little bit . . . you know,” Terry told them.
Why John Terry Escapes And The Sun Guns For Ashley Cole
Steve Stammers (Mirror)
The treatment of Cole and Terry smacks of hypocrisy – but well-paid has to mean well-behaved But Terry and Cole have been naive in the extreme. Both, from personal experience, are well-mannered and polite when approached on football matters. Both had tough childhoods – especially Cole. But both emerged from life on the mean streets of East London to excel in their chosen profession. They are both lucky and unlucky.
You invite the wold to gaze upon your love – and then the world comments…
Posted: 24th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole And Ashley Cole’s Marriage In Pictures
CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole Divorce In Pictures: Reasons why Cheryl and Ashley are no more are many. But the most likely is that they never achieved the dream of their own nickname. The Beckhams are easily identifiable. Brangelina. Yep. Jedward. No worries. But The Coles? Just at Chelsea and England there are Joe and Carly Cole? No, the marketing was never right. But the pictures were great – Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged):
3784341
Posted: 24th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Divorce: Sex Therapy, All The Women And Cheryl’s Tattoo
CHERYL Cole And Ashley Cole divorce: As Cheryl Cole heads back to being Mrs Tweedy – that “Mrs Cole” tattoo on the back of her neck may be harder to get shot of than her Chelsea and England footballer husband – the papers reports. The news round-up:
The Sun (front page): “CHERYL KICKS ASH – BEAUTY DUMPS FOOTIE STAR HUBBY”
In case anyone is wondering which side the Sun is on – The Beauty with access to the X Factor judges and acts or The Rat who once sued the Sun and won – the papers comes equipped with a John Terry exclusive.
Terry is Cole’s captain at Chelsea and was his skipper at England too – until he resigned in light of allegations in the New of The World (the Sun on Sunday) that he had shagged loadsa women, including his Chelsea and England teammate Wayne’s Bridge’s lover, one Vanessa Perroncel.
Why John Terry Escapes And The Sun Guns For Ashley Cole
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (19)
Miranda Kerr Interview: Orlando Bloom, Affirmations And Victoria’s Secret Pictures
IN this week’s Hello!, top model Miranda Kerr is wearing jeans (tear in right knee) and shirt (unbuttoned to navel). Miranda welcomes us to her Sydney home and tells us that Orlando Bloom is “an incredible man”. Says she:
“I’m happiest when I’m sitting under a tree or reading a book or out at the beach. I’m definitely a girl that enjoys the simple things in life.”
To show us what happiness looks like, Miranda pauses from modelling underwear for Victoria’s Secret and reads a book. There are not many people who can happily read a book while being photographed, but Miranda is one of them.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Hello!, Key Posts | Comment
Kristen Stewart Smiles At Burberry London Fashion Week Show: Pictures
KATE Hudson, a smiling Kristen Stewart (Did you see her at the BAFTAS? She’s not playing Twilight’s Bella Swan. She is Bella Swan) and Claire Danes were at the Autumn/Winter 2010 Burberry Prorsum show, at Chelsea College of Art and Design in central London. Also there, Conservative Party leader David Cameron’s wife Samantha Cameron, U.S Editor in Chief of American Vogue, Anna Wintour and Mary-Kate Olsen in possum chic… MORE
8425639
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Shameless Fank Dresses Up As Muhammad For Mullahs And Tarts Party
FRANK Gallagher, patriarch of the Shameless docu-soap has dressed up as Muhammad for the show’s mullahs and tarts party at The Jockey public house.
The Manchester Evening News says Frank has dressed up as Jesus “to stir-up more controversy after dressing up as Jesus Christ for the second time”.
But with so few picture of Mohammed around, only a keen-eyed source spotted that Frank is dead ringer for The Prophet.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Ke$ha’s Secret London MySpace Gig: In Pictures
ANORAK was there to see American singer Ke$ha backstage and on the stage a Myspace secret show at the Bathhouse, east London. The gig was secret in much the same way that anything is secret unless you’ve heard of it or been invited by a PR company. Justin Hawkins, formerly of The Darkness, was not there at the same time, which got us wondering…
8424453
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Breaks Haitians Hearts And Introduces Zac Efron
CHERYL Cole insiders were said to be delighted that talk of her divorce from Ashley Cole has distracted from her singing.
While men wonder when Cheryl will facilitate a revenge shag , sources say that with Ashley Cole being portrayed as the personification of undiluted evil, no-one is talking about Cheryl’s lip-synching, tattoos or turning the Brits into the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Has Left Ashley Cole: Full Details And Photos
AND so it came to pass that the magazines were wrong an the tabloids were right:Cheryl Cole and Ashley Cole have split. Well, in truth he left her – she arrived home to an Ashley-free home. She will not fight, fight, fight for the love. The news round-up:
The press release:
Cheryl Cole is separating from her husband, Ashley Cole. Cheryl asks the media to respect her privacy during this difficult time. We have no further comment to make.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Arrives Home To Find Ashley Cole Gone: Pictures
MORE Cheryl Cole and Ashley Cole news in heat magazine, wherein readers learn the “shocking truth about Ashley’s hold over Cheryl”. Before that, we see Cheryl arrive home and find that Ashley has gone.
Ashley has left the couple’s Hurtmore mansion. Yes, HURTMORE. Nominative determinism was ever a cruel mistress.
Says the Mail:
Mrs Cole’s burgeoning friendship with Mr Hough comes as she prepares to begin divorce proceedings against her errant husband.
Yes, we know this is the third article on Cheryl and Ashley today, but the reporting is so fantastic, we’d like to share it with you. Closer says Cheryl will not divorce Ashley. The Sun says Cheryl has already dumepd him. The Mail speaks of divorce. And we’ve been introduced to “comforting” Derek Hough.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
Sarah Ferguson’s Wooden Doormat Joins Geena Davis’s Female Crusade: Pictures
WHO better than Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, to address the UN conference ‘Engaging Philanthropy to Promote Gender Equality and Women’s Empowerment‘? Fergie been helping Haiti with T-shirts and marking Prince Andrew’s 50th birthday with miniature pictures of their daughters by society portrait artist Basia Hamilton (£7,000) a £180 bespoke doormat and a hand-carved wooden door stop.
Fergie says the key to equality is ”good mothering” because mothers promote education.
No mention of good fathering, however.
* She announced a new initiative called ”the Mother’s Army” to ”harness the collective power of mothers” to enable women and girls to ”dare to dream.”
But how many princes are there to marry? Maybe attendee Princess Madeleine of Sweden can helps Fergie and actress Geena Davis with an answer?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Not Divorcing Ashley: Fact
HAVING read in the Sun that Cheryl Cole has dumped Ashley Cole by text – a fact undiluted by repetition throughout the media – Closer magazine has a big fact:
“Cheryl Cole has confessed she feels ‘completely torn’ over what to do.”
But she made her mind up? It’s a fact??
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
National Enquirer After Brangelina: Jessica Aniston And Jessica Simpson At ‘War’
WEEK Two of the post Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit National Enquirer front page and things are looking promising for Jennifer Aniston, who remains in situ.
With Brangelina suing the NoTW, and so putting the US tabloid on a stage of high alert, Jennifer Aniston is on her own.
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures
Well, she’s not alone for long because the NE has a new love triangle war brewing, and the three-points of the news compass are Aniston, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer. This is:
“Jen & Jessica – REVENGE ON LOVE RAT JOHN MAYER!”
Inside and:
“JEN & JESSICA DECLARE WAR ON JOHN!”
Mayer is said to have upset the women by called Simpson “sexual napalm” and “crack cocaine” (is that good or bad?) and portrayed Aniston as “boring”. Says Mayer of fun Jen:
“I want to dance… I want to get on an airplane and be a ninja… I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”
A euphemism?
And… Oh, it’s just no good. Without those weekly tales of Brad’s secret love (sources say) to betrayed Aniston, Angelina Jolie’s rage (say pals) and Aniston’s loveliness (says insider), the Enquirer is trying but failing to come up with a story.
READ: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie: Sex Toys, Jennifer Aniston ‘Romps’ In Pictures
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt – A Romance In Pictures
It’s needs a new angle? Who can be the new Ange-Brad-Jen? But why not do as OK! has done and in between news and non-news hire look-alikes to play the main protagonists and get up to all sorts of crazy mischief?
Look out for: “Jen puts Brad’s head in oven as Ange waters poison begonia” – say pals.
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)
Dancing On Ice: Circling the Pan Of Life With Sharron Davies And Jason Gardiner
SHARRON Davies, star of leaving-the-audience-cold pro-celeb Dancing On Ice is crap. She is poo. She is a dump on the leg of humanity. The woman who achieved Olympic glory in the pool is a **** racing the viewers around life’s U-bend.
Hey, this is not us talking. Ofcom has heard the views of the show’s Judge Jason Gardiner – he compared Sharron Davies’s performance to “faecal matter“. Ofcom that it’s okay.
This is family telly and comparing Sharron Davies to a shit is all good clean fun. Jason Gardiner does not talk shit. And that too is an official fact.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jedward Caught Kissing On Twitter: Pictures
JEDWARD fill moments between singing for the lads (video) by posting pictures of themselves on Twitter. In one shot, Simon Cowell’s Duracell Gonks, John and Edward Grimes, kiss the mirror. Why not just kiss each other? The missing thing is the women? Where are the ladies Jedward? In the meantime, enjoy these images from the boys’ Twitter site…
Spotter: Tabloid Prodigy
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Amy Winehouse Addicted To Jimmy Choo’s Choos And Blake’s Romeo
AMY Winehouse is addicted to “Choos” – Jimmy Choo’s Choos.
The Star hears from Mitch Winehouse, the man with the inside take on his daughter’s life:
“Amy has blown stupid amounts on shoes, she’s replaced her drugs addiction with a shopping addiction.”
This follow the Mitch Winehouse news that Amy Winehouse – the one with the “fantastic” breasts is “Addicted’ To Knickers”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Farrah Fawcett’s Celebrity Cancer Sequel, Starring Redmond O’Neal And Drugs
FARRAH FAwcett’s death is now a sequel , featuring Ryan O’Neal and he and Farrah’s son Redmond’s drugs issues. Anorak’s Man in LA scales the heights of reality TV:
DESPITE the denials, it appears that Ryan O’Neal will exploit his and Farrah Fawcett’s son Redmond and his drug problems in a reality television format, after all.
RadarOnline.com reports that Redmond’s sad battle with heroin and other addictions will be one of three plotlines in the follow-up to Farrah’s Story, the exploitative NBC special that was carved from Farrah and production partner Craig Nevius’ original video journal of her cancer struggle.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Susan Boyle’s Non-Love Love Story
IF we’re not hearing Susan Boyle sing, then her brother Gerry must be talking. The Crazy Horses and I have a Dream singer manager’s happy home life makes her unhappy says her increasingly informative old bro in today’s Daily Record, which has the full non-love story today.
In The Record, Jack Mathieson delivers the words of Gerry, SuBo’s brother:
“Of course, her family will always be there for her but it is not the same as having someone special in your life. It’s just all so sad, so sad. Susan has the world at her feet in terms of fame and money but at this precise moment in time it means nothing. The one thing she wants above all everything else is love. Who doesn’t?”
That’s a rhetorical question, readers. Although anyone keen to swap a spouse or boyfriend for Susan’s money can send photos and measurements to the usual address.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Cheryl Cole, Derek Hough, A Terrier In The Bedroom And Ashley Cole’s Women
CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole continue to dominate the red-tops front pages. Readers get to learn more of Derek Hough. The news round-up:
The Sun says Derek has been “comforting” Cheryl Cole for “seven hours”. The Star counts “nine hours”. The Star sees him leave Cheryl Cole’s hotel at 4am. The Sun sees him leave at 4:15am. Both papers lead with shot of Derek Hough carrying a dog.
The Sun has now written more about Chelsea and England’s Ashley Cole sex life more than it has about his club captain and former national skipper John Terry. Ashley Cole once sued the Sun and won. John Terry gives the Sun exclusives.
Why John Terry Escapes And The Sun Guns For Ashley Cole
The media narrative is clear: Ashley Cole is bad. And Chelsy Cole, the woman with “Mrs Cole” tattooed on the back of her neck who once assaulted a toilet worker, who told us that we must fight for our love, sold her wedding photos to OK! and posed for pictures with an ice cream sundae between her thighs is “dignified”.
Cheryl Cole is married. As the Sun says:
American Derek went to the Girls Aloud beauty’s hotel room and emerged smiling broadly.
An onlooker said: “He looked very pleased with himself.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)
Sarah Brown’s Choirboy And Carey Mulligan Present The Elle Style Awards In 53 Pictures
THE Elle Style Awards are the fashion industry AGM spicing up London Fashion Week. The usual suspects arrive: Sarah Brown (Gordon’s not a vain nutter because he married me, meeee, mee), Sados (Sons and daughtes of stars) Pixie Geldof, Jaime Winstone (daddy sends hugs) Jade Jagger, Daisy Lowe, model Agynes Deyn, Brits winner Florence Welch and Mary-Kate And Ashley Olden looking like things the late Steve Irwin would pull from a tree.
8421035
Also, Leona Lewis, Michael McIntyre (from the Boden comedy catalogue), Naomi Campbell, BAFTA winners Carey Mulligan and Kristen Stewart, Paloma Faith, Emilia Fox, Dannii Minogue, Alexa Chung, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and, of course, Talulah Riley…
Posted: 22nd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Sting Plays Uzbekistan For Money And Spreads ‘Commerce Of Ideas’
STING is a champion of human rights and greenism. Sting is playing for Islam Karimov’s daughter Gulnara Karimova in daddy’s Uzbekistan. That’s Uzbekistan, home of the Aral Sea, child slaves and a leader “hermetically sealed in his own medieval, tyrannical mindset.” Who said that? Sting, who earned between £1m and £2m for his concert, said that.
He journeyed there not on foot but by jet.
“I played in Uzbekistan a few months ago. The concert was organized by the president’s daughter and I believe sponsored by Unicef.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Sophie Monk’s Scars Stop You Looking Lower
SOPHIE Monk – actress, singer AND model – leaves her home to talks on the telephone. Her trousers are worn low and her top high. We try not to pry but we look. Look! LOOK! There are strange scars on her lower stomach.
8417476
This is Benji Madden’s ex who told us:
“I can’t believe it. Another camel-toe! Everyone is going to think I have ginormous ***** because who gets more than one photo of camel-toe? I’ve got a small *****. I’m here trying so hard to work and all I get recognized for is my camel-toe. It’s more famous than me!”
But – hey! – look at the scars. Why do they stare?
Posted: 22nd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (13)
