Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Victoria Beckham: Bunions, Lunches And Young Girls
VICTORIA Beckham is on the cover of two magazines – Closer and Glamour: Closer says Posh is facing a “HORROR OP”.
She’s going to have herself surgically removed from David Beckham’s back? Hey, no. This is serious. Save your cynicism for the election. Posh…
“…Faces up to surgery that could leave her in a wheelchair for 6 weeks.”
Jeez. This sounds bad. What’s up?
“POSH FEARS OVER PAINFUL SURGERY.”
It’s not getting any better…
“After years of suffering from painful bunions…”
Another boob job?
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Posted: 2nd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price And Alex Reid: Long Sex, Las Vegas Wedding, Wotsits And Peter Andre’s Fury
KATIE PRICE and Alex Reid: Today we reintroduce Peter Andre, Wotsits and the Daily Star says Tango & Gash are to be united in Las Vegas, or ass the Star hymns the romance:
“I’m marrying Jordan in Lust Vegas’”
By retiring to a cottage in rural Herefordshire and happily living with each and their kidzzzz?
Kate, speaking to this week’s OK! magazine, admitted: “Alex is the man for me. He’s all man. I just wish I had met him six years ago.”
Says Alex:
“I was very frustrated! But I did a lot of training though. That was my release. You saw me doing a lot of training, right?”
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
And thinking. We saw the thinking written all over your face:
“I didn’t relieve myself in the house like Jonas did, I wanted to keep the testosterone in for Kate! When I saw her, I thought: ‘Cor, she looks fit in that short skirt!’ I felt like a kid at Christmas. I just wanted to eat her up all at once. It’s my party and I’ll bonk if I want to!”
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Posted: 2nd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (16)
Hello!: John Terry Spots Vanessa Perroncel, Cheryl Cole’s For Haiti And Coleen Rooney Shocks
IN this Week’s Hello!, John Terry and Vanessa Perroncel revealed, Coleen Rooney on baby Kai and Cheryl Cole tells of “heartbreak”.
It’s the Premier League drool-fest in this week’s Hello!. The magazine no longer leads with shots of chinless Euro-trash at play but goes with Coleen Rooney telling us that “Kai is a really good baby”.
Adding:
“He’s not a crier at all.”
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Justin Bieber’s Lady GaGa Presents The 52nd Grammy Awards: 120 Pictures
JUSTIN Bieber took his mother Pattie Bieber to the 52nd annual Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. If you think Bieber looks young, get a load of his mum. Also there was a demure Rihanna, Nicole Kidman’s expression-free forehead, reality strumpet Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, Lady Gaga pretending to be an am-dram star in the Melton Mowbray Players’ lunch-time rendition of Havisham: The Musical, and then rolling in her own mess, Veronica Mayra was poured into a dress (she forgot to say “when”), Phoebe Price, a dress-needy Nadeea, Katy Perry, Beyonce Knowles, Kathy Griffin, Miley Cyrus and Johnny Dang’s teeth.
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Posted: 1st, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (12)
In Pictures: Rihanna’s Juelz Knowles Lift Presents The Grammy Awards
THE Grammy Awards show featured T-Pain doing an impression of a Fabulous Fury Freak Brother, Rihanna giving Juelz Knowles a lift Maxwell giving Roberta Flack the peek-a-boo, the Jonas Brothers meeting the Devil and Slash entertaining the children of the corporate suits and ties in the Sado (sons and daughters of..) mosh pit. Who wins? The corporates win at the music AGM. It really is that cynical. Justin Bieber fans go her. The over 15s, go here:
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Posted: 1st, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Alex Reid And ‘Pregnant’ Katie Price Are Tango And Gash
KATIE Price and Alex Reid: While the search goes on for name – Klex / KRAP / Tango & Gash (TM) etc. – the Daily Star tells us that Jordan is “having” Alex’s baby.
She’s pregnant?
CELEBRITY Big Brother winner Alex Reid has sensationally revealed his dream of becoming a dad.
Old Mr Anorak will now sensationally reveal his dream of walking on the face of the sun:
MAN WALKS ON SUN!
Says Alex:
“I feel so ready for kids. It is definitely a big adventure. Absolutely. I’d love to have lots of children, I love them. Kate is someone I totally connect with. I am just besotted with her. She is my someone to talk to, my confidante and my love, all of that soppy stuff.”
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
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Posted: 1st, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Farrah Fawcett: Lisa Boyle, Craig Nevius And “One Big Lie”
FARRAH Fawcett has died. And her legacy is beign sullied by fighting. Anroak;’s Man in LA looks at the latest news. All lawsuits have two sides. This is one:
FARRAH Fawcett’s documentary producing partner Craig Nevius has gotten another show of support from another member of Farrah’s inner circle against the lawsuit filed by Farrah’s estate and its executor, Ryan O’Neal’s business manager Richard B. Francis.
Farrah’s Story: Pictures Of Farrah Fawcett’s Celebrity Cancer
This weekend, the National Enquirer’s RadarOnline.com reports exclusively that Lisa Boyle has called the lawsuit accusing Nevius of botching Farrah’s cancer documentary and possibly stealing her money “a load of s—” and “one big lie” (our staff figured out the translation of “s—“).
“Farrah would not have wanted what is going on,” Boyle tells Radar.
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Posted: 1st, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rihanna’s Pillow Face Dress Showcases The Clive Davis Pre-Grammy Gala: Pictures
THE annual Clive Davis Pre-Grammy Gala at the Beverly Hilton Hotel wasn’t the dullest AGM of the season but Rihanna (NSFW) took no chances, arriving clad in on-the-shoulder pillow. Maybe it’s there to pull over her face in case she runs into Chris Brown, literally? Also there were Katy Perry and Russell Brand, Keri Hilson in C3PO’s shag suit, Joan Collins in hammock hair, Jennifer Hudson, Toni Braxton and newlyweds Kevin Jonas and wife Danielle Jonas:
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Posted: 31st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jedward Play GAY Heaven, GAYS In Hell Laugh: Pictures
JEDWARD, Simon Cowell’s pet Duracell Gonks – John Grimes and Edward Grimes – performed at G-A-Y Heaven in London. (What’s GAY Hell like – can it be that bad?) Their act is pretty crap, but still good enough to steal the show at the National Television Awards, that display of self-aggrandising pomposity where Loose Women win a factual telly going and someone who used to be the popular and likeable Dr Who makes us realise that he was a good actor. So here’s Jedward. Enjoy. It’s as good as it gets:
Posted: 31st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Alex Reid And Katie Price: A Proposal And A Sex Tour
ALEX Reid and Katie Price. No, wait. Katie Price and Alex Reid. No, what about Alice? KP and AR – jumble it about: KRAP. While we deliberate over the name that unites Mr Toffee Crisp and Jordan, the Star tells us that Alex Reid celebrated his Celebrity Big Brother triumph with a “marathon sex session before proposing to Katie Price.”
What did he propose – that next time they use a Mars bar? (Yes, a Marathon is called a Snickers but we are old fashioned sorts and believe that a Marathon is a Marathon and no matter what the fluids and lubricants, that’s just the way thing are meant to be.)
The sex-starved cage fighter spent Friday night and Saturday morning making up for lost time by bedding her in three different venues within 12 hours.
Three venues. No, don’t tell us. Let’s guess: China Whites… The penalty spot at White Hart Lane… The forecourt at Buckingham Palace?
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
They romped in a Celebrity Big Brother dressing room, at Katie’s Sussex home and at the posh Pennyhill Country Park Hotel & Spa in Surrey.
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Posted: 31st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Brad Pitt Hides Under Christina Hendricks At Directors Guild Of America Awards: Pictures
BRAD Pitt was saved by Mad Men’s Christian Hendricks (career in NSFW photos) at the 62nd Annual Directors Guild of America Achievement Awards, held at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza Hotel, Los Angeles. All eyes would have been on Pitt had they been able to look beyond Christina Hendricks who used her big girl’s portico to shelter Angelina Jolie’s sparring partner. (Ange in NSFW pics too). In pictures:
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Posted: 31st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Katie Price Says Alex Reid Is The Love Of Her Life, Just Like Peter Andre
KATIE Price and Alex Reid are reunited and a new fly in the Touche Eclat reality TV show is born. Thrill as Alex and Katie bring to market their signature scent: Alie, a joint production created from the coal face of Kate and Alex’s morning bed sheets by a team of scrapologists, distilled in lemon Bacardi Breezer and Vimto before being decanted into a tangerine gourd.
Says Katie Price:
* “He’s the love of my life.”
Or as Katie Price said of Peter Andre:
* “Pete is the love of my life.”
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Says Katie:
“The two guys I’ve been with have been the last two (in the show). They are genuine guys, I don’t go for s***heads, basically.”
Katie also has been with Dwight Yorke, of whom she says:
* “He’s always come and gone. He wouldn’t see him very often. He should be ashamed… I couldn’t give two s**ts [about him].”
More facts to follow…
Posted: 30th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Christina Hendricks’ Portico Hosts A Huge Debate In Pictures
DEAR Anorak, please would you find a reason to republish some pictures of Christina Hendricks attending the Golden Globes? We hear you. And we respond. Do you agree with Mr Geoffrey Arend, Hendricks husband, that “she looked so gorgeous”; or do you concur with the New York Times blogger Cathy Horyn, saying, “You don’t put a big girl in a big dress. That’s rule number one”? It’s a huge debate. So here are those pictures, in the interests of polite conversation. (That do – ed?):
Posted: 30th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Holly Madison And Rush Limbaugh Presents The 2010 Miss America Show: Pictures
KATIE Stam is a small American. If she can’t win it no-one can. Yip. Yap. Katie Stam. Katie Stam is Miss America 2009. She was there to view 2010 Miss America Contestants at the Official PH Towers Open House Celebration at Planet Hollywood, Westgate Towers, Las Vegas. Rush Limbaugh was there. Holly Madison was also there. Holly used to lend Hugh Hefner a hand and a boob at his Viagra Research Unit. Earlier the girls had visited Venice to ride on a gondola. This is the real Venice. To think that when Italy’s pisspoor version of Venice is downed by a righteous god, Vegas will be the only one left. Keep it real:
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Posted: 30th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Celebrity Big Brother: A Punch-Up And Katie Price And Alex Reid’s 20-Minute Reunion In Pictures
ALEX Reid, the walking Toffee Crisp, has won Celebrity Big Brother, adding his name to a trophy that hymns such stars of the magic box as Bez and Chantelle Houghton.
Vinnie Jones say Reid is “his own man” now. Reid is famous for being Reid. The media catches up with that news:
Katie Price’s cross-dressing cage fighter boyfriend Alex Reid has beaten her ex Dane Bowers to win the final seriese [sic] of Celebrity Big Brother – Sky News
No paper leads with the elevation of Reid from Katie Price’s lover to Big Brother star. Indeed the Star sticks with the tried and tested move of pulling a story from the New aTombola ™:
“PUNCH-UP AT CELEB BIG BRO FINAL”
FURIOUS Vinnie Jones was spoiling for a fight after learning he had only come third in last night’s final.
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Posted: 30th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Britain’s Got Talent: Emma Amelia Pearl Czikai Loges Discrimination Complaint
BIG Bother ends and in the time it takes a goldfish to recite the Kings and Queens of England (with dates), we bring news of Britain’s Got Talent singer, Emma Amelia Pearl Czikai.
Emma – The Hairy Oyster – has filed a discrimination complaint against the show. You see, Emma has a condition that affects her ability to hear own singing voice. That’s Emma on the stage:
“I do have the ability to move people. People have cried when they have heard me sing.”
She sings You Raise Me Up. She sings one line of You Rise Me Up. Piers Morgan presses his gong. Simon Cowell presses his. Eyebrow wrangler Amanda Holden lets The Hairy Oyster sing a verse. And then she hits her gong.
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Posted: 30th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Alex Reid Wins Celebrity Big Brother Final: Live Blog And Pictures
CELEBRITY Big Brother final: Live Blog. Like George Bush, Katie Price’s Jordans and France – you will miss Big Brother when it’s gone. Tonight is the final of the final Celebrity Big Brother show.
And the winner is… Alex Reid. Now to dump Katie Price live on the telly.
Vinnie is wearing sunglasses. But he’s alright. In his Arthur Daley hat.
Vinnie Out. Katie Price wins!!!!
Jonas is out. he looks better out of the house. He’d make good looking Nazi in a WW2 film. “I like farts,” says Jonas. Nazis loved farting.
Stephanie Beacham is out. She is holding the world’s largest microphone and talking with Davina – soon to be out herself.
Preamble:
Will Alex Reid win and add the title of CBB winner to the Mr Toffee Crisp crown he sports in his pants?
Will Vinnie Jones win and become even more insufferable, his nightclub bouncer done good persona inflating to the size of a mid-sized Texas county?
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Posted: 29th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Celebrity Big Brother: Katie Price Wins As Dane Bowers And Alex Reid Go Mamo-O-Mamo
CELEBRIY Big Brother: It’s Dane Bowers v Alex Reid in the final of final of finals. Incredibly, the Daily Star reached into its News Tombola ™ and managed to pull out a truthful headline:
KATIE PRICE WINS BIG BROTHER
Dane Bowers – Katie Price Foot muff – and Alex Reid – Mr Toffee Crisp – are in the final. It’s mammary-a-mammary. It’s Jordan v Jordan. It Me Me.
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Posted: 29th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kelis Shows Her Meat Shake At First Annual Data Awards: NSFE Pictures
KELIS took her blow-up fawn doll legs to the First Annual Data Awards held at Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles. No idea what the Data awards are, but Kelis thinks they stand for Don’t Attempt This Attire. Kelis says yes to meat and seems to have trapped an owl and stuck it to her face and fashioned the Richard Gere Home For Woodland Creatures in her crotch. Her pet mole wears glasses:
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Posted: 29th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Pictures Of Tila Tequila’s 4D Ultrasound Baby
ONE woman content factory Tila Tequila is with child. No, not pregnant. She’s with a child – the PlayBy (TM) a small plastic one with whom she’s shopping for baby clothes at Kitson Kids in Los Angeles, California. There is now so much surgical backwash in the LA water system that people are being born made of plastic. It’s what they always wanted, an out-the-box child with an in-built drug problem and reactor-lite-rapide skin tones. Tila says the baby daddy is a rapper. She meant to say wrapper. Finally Tila is box fresh… Tila Tequila (NSFW)
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Posted: 29th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Chicken Katie Price Declared Winner
CELBRITY Big Brother: It’s the final day and the good news is that Katie Price has “won”.
This fact is delivered to you by the Daily Star:
“JORDAN: I’VE WON BIG BRO”
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Hats off to Katie Price for winning show she never appeared on. Unless that was her in the chicken suit, waiting to be dry roasted by Dane Bowers and Alex Reid?
Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jessica Simpson Blows Up: The Greatest Celebrity Story Ever
JESSICA Simpson has blown up. Sorry, we meant to say blown off. But that is still huge news in Us Weekly, which delivers the sen-sation that Jessica Simpson is a one woman organ. Question: If Jessica Simpson farts in a wood is it still news? Or is it a new CD? Answers in the musical way, maestro…
Spotter: D-listed
Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
JD Salinger RIP: Mark David Chapman Was My Agent
JEROME D Salinger is dead. Salinger wrote The Catcher In The Rye. You read it. It was OK. It was short. It sold in the millions. After he killed John Lennon in 1980, Mark David Chapman said he did it “to promote the reading” of that book. John Hinckley, who shot Ronald Reagan, left behind a copy in his hotel room. Shallow America read much meaning into this. More books sold. Killers can read. Who knew? Was Chapman just a literary agent who went too far? Salinger wrote one novel and three volumes of stories. He shunned the limelight with a scowl. These are the pictures of his life:
Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Hello!: Victoria And David’s Beckham’s Wedding Invite
IN this week’s Hello! magazine: David and Victoria Beckham “invite you” to Vicky’s sister’s wedding “AT THEIR COUTNRY MANSION”.
This is how celebrity magazine weddings work: you get the free do and the boast card in exchange for an advertorial about the venue and the hosts.
The front cover tells its own story: while Vicky’s sister – still not named – wears an ivory gown and holds the hand of her suited and booted lover, also unnamed – Vicky pulls on a little black dress and David arrives as if he’s thinking of jacking it all in for a job as a mini cab driver in suburban Leicester and has dressed in rediness for an emergency call up from Ozcabs.
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Pete Doherty, Robin Whitehead And Kate Moss’s Collection: Pictures
DID you want pictures of Kate Moss attending the ‘Kate Moss for Longchamp’ Collection Launch Coktail Party at Ritz Club in Paris, in the company of Catherine Fontaine and The Plasticines?
Or did you want more pictures of her former flame Peter Doherty, the pop fu*kwit’s Court Room Tour 2010 and the news that Robin Whitehead, a member of the Goldsmith family who had made a documentary about the singer Pete Doherty called Road to Albion, has been found dead in flat rented by one of Doherty’s associates called Peter Wolf, 41, nicknamed Wolfman?
A young woman dies – she was just 27 – and the media shapes her death in celebrity terms:=. The Star delivers:
HEIRESS IN DRUG DEATH AT PETE DOHERTY’S FLAT
So it’s Doherty’s flat? This gives the Star a reason to tell its readers:
It is the second death with links to Doherty, 30. Three years ago actor Mark Blanco, who was 30, fell from a first-floor balcony after the star’s minders asked him to leave a party.
So Doherty, who wasn’t there, is suspected of what, exactly? Says the Mail:
Shamed musician Pete Doherty to be questioned about Goldsmith heiress’s ‘drug death’
Is he? Because after the headline there is no news that Doherty is to be questioned. But it was his flat, right. The Star tols us that fact. Says the Telegraph:
Doherty currently lives in Wiltshire and a spokesman denied that he had links to the Hackney property.
Sometimes you need the fluff…
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Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
