Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Celebrity Big Brother: Ivana Trump To Play Jade Goody In TV Biopic
CELEBRITY Big Brother: Lady Sovereign is embroiled in a “NEW BIG BROTHER BULLY ROW” and Jade Goody is back in the guise of Ivana Trump:
So says the Daily Star, which presses the Big Brother buttons with all the gusto of a sex-starved monkey on a hole in a hairy keyboard. Having brought us Katia Ivanova’s sex tape story, the papers now presses F8 and delivers the traditional Big Brother bully episode.
The paper says that Lady Sov is “struggling to cope, just like Shilpa Shetty”.
Admittedly, watching Big Brother can be hard yakka, but Shilpa can take comfort from no longer being on the show.
“It’s Jade and Shilpa hell all over again.”
That’s Jade Goody. And is her name is being evoked, then who gets to play her? The smart money is on Stephanie Beacham, who for all the snootiness is an ex-Playboy stripper last seen romancing Ken Baldwin on Coronation Street’s love barge. On second thoughts, she’s too downmarket. Ivana Trump’s more the thing.
Says Sov:
“I was bullied into making myself look absolutely horrible and that wasn’t the case. Everyone was bullying me except Sisqo and Stephen. I would say the main bullies were Dane and Stephanie, without a doubt.”
Dane Bowers? The Star has evidence:
Stephanie even described her as a “vile creature who has not been brought up well”… Dane raged: “I want to drop-kick her. She’d better be careful because I can tear her down and I’ll do it in front of people.”
As we can see on the straight-to-tissues internet video with Katie Price, Dane talks with his toes. If Bowers drop kicks Sov, let’s hope he’s wearing a contraceptive sock and has trimmed his nails.
Posted: 20th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The National TV Awards In Pictures: Katie Price Plus Jedward
ARE you ready for the National TV awards? The seats are being vacuumed. The seating plan is in the bag. Simon Cowell is front row. Cheryl Cole is front row, no – not sat next to misunderstood Ashley. Len Goodman is front row. TV judges are front row in the awards that you – the viewers – vote for. Dermot O’Leary host. And Jedward perform at the TV AGM…
Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price’s Dress Spotted At Danielle Lloyd’s Engagement Party: Pictures
DANIELLE Lloyd’s engagement part was a terrific do (NSFW). Her dress was a vision of Swarovski glass beads – much like one worn by Katie Price (NSFW) to the nuptial of her pals Gary Cockerill and Phil Turner. Lloyd’s do was held at the Mayfair Hotel – yep the same hotel where Peter Andre filmed his reality TV dinner with his agent’s other clients; where Peter Andre had a row with Phil Tuner; where Peter Andre and Katie Price both checked in on the same night. Anyone else see a theme developing as we are trapped in a never-ending cycle of freebies, puff pieces and pap:
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tabloids Attack Mischa Barton For Acting Like A Hooker: Pictures
MISCHA Barton was spotted shooting scenes for “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” in which she plays a pregnant prostitute in New York, USA. Barton rose to fame in The OC, the show which celebrated being rich and beautiful by showing the rich and beautiful being nice to a poor photogenic white boy. No, not a poor black boy – this wasn’t a comedy. Barton became tabloid fodder. And she does herself few favours, having uttered: “I think I need to back away from the whole TV approach…” Still does she deserve: “Mischa Barton fat again” and “GO AWAY Mischa Cellulite Barton”? Her crime: acting – and looking like Kathleen Turner.
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
This Week’s National Enquirer: Jennfer Aniston Beats Angelina Jolie And Surgical A** To Mouth
IN this week’s National Enquirer – we read it so you don’t have to: Jennifer Aniston has got Angelina Jolie “RUNNING SCARED”; David Hasselhoff “refuses rehab”; Britney Spears is not dead but is in a “Psycho Ward” drama; Heidi Montag does arse to mouth and Robert Pattinson’s “baby”.
Jen & Ange
News is that Aniston is feeling “sexier” and “more confident than ever”. And that gives her the “upper hand” in her “feud” with Angelina Jolie, who is “miserable” and “skeletal”.
The source says Ange has “very few friends” and is “the skinniest she’s ever been”. On the positives, Jolie has a huge family, Jen’s ex-husband in her bed and is thin enough to make Aniston look fat.
Heidi Montag Is Plastic
Heidi Montag has had a mini brow lift, Botox in the forehead, a nose “revision”, fat injections in her face, her neck lipo-suctioned, ears pinned back (to her head), breast made huger, lipo on her waist and thighs, and her arse “augmented” – to appear just below that re-visaged nose on the face.
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Prince William Meets The Colonials In Australia: In Pictures
PRINCE William is in Australia. Yesterday the Prince avoided meeting Kiwi Warwick Slow (nominative determinism, folks), who hoped to present Wills with a string of sausages and a loaf of bread and thereby secure his hand in marriage and a Republic for new Zealand. In Oz, Wills met Delta Goodrem, famous for following Kerry Katona’s into former Westlife warbler Brian McPaddings bed and being sick on Neighbours. He also met Australia’s Governor-General, Her Excellency Quentin Bryce, who keeps the colonials in control with firm hard and fizzy beer:
Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
JLS Undress The Brits Awards Party 2010: In Pictures
ALL the pictures from the Brit Awards 2010 nomination party for you pop pickers. JLS did their best to look cheeky, while their lead singer Ashton Merrygold did his usual impression of Matt Dawson doing the ironing. Stedman Pearson, fomrrly of Five Star looked like a man who ran the gaunttet of a department store make-up section, tripped and been set upon by women with brushes and tissues. Dappy of NDubz bully-off face in public after his Radio 1 hissy fit. The product of mating between Pob and one of Snow White’s workers performed on stage with nominative determined Tinchy Stryder. Elly Jackson of La Roux did her usual impression of Marc Almond at a Buck Rogers convention. We cheered. Pictures:
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
John Mayer In Concert In London, In Pictures
ANORAK spotted John Mayer in concert at the Hammersmith Apollo, London. Before this, John had been doing his part for the Haiti relief effort, with customary celebrity grandstanding:
He tweeted, “Just recorded my song for CNN’s “Haiti: How You Can Help” special, tonight at 8pm EST. Made with lots of love and hope.”
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cemetery Junction: Ricky Gervais And Merchant’s Film In Pictures
RICKY Gervais leaves the Golden Globes with his reputation exactly as it was. But in film at least he strives to move on from David Brent and being the celebrity Gervais. His new film Cemetery Junction is set in 1970s England. He co-wrote it with Stephen Merchant, unlike his last films Ghost Town and The Invention of Lying. The film stars Emily Watson, Ralph Fiennes, Matthew Goode and the man himself, Mr. David Brent – smoking:
Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Golden Globes: The Celebrity Ricky Gervais Plays David Brent Ad Nauseum
THE Golden Globes, which can be viewed in globes here, here , here and literally here, were hosted by Ricky Gervais. Gervais is now a jobbing celebrity and so able to inflict upon himself that brand of self-humiliating comedy which has been a mainstay of Morecambe & Wise and just about every act since and before.
Christina Hendricks’ Portico Presents The 67th Golden Globe Awards In 63 Pictures
Gervais is the same Gervais in whatever he does. He gives you what you expect. He is David Brent. He is a celebrity hired to be himself and let you know he’s in on the joke.
Still, hosting the Golden Globes is pretty big deal and like the sameness or not, Gervais is liked in Hollywood – unless you read the cover of the Mail, which tells readers:
The night Ricky was Beverly Hills flop
Or as the Daily Mirror puts it:
Monique’s Precious Legs Are The Golden Globes Winners: Pictures
Ricky Gervais stole the show at the Golden Globes
The biggest laugh of the night came when he introduced Gibson – convicted for drink-driving four years ago – up on stage to announce Best Director. Swigging beer, Gervais said: “I like a drink as much as the next man… unless the next man is Mel Gibson.”
Fair play to Gibson, who wobbled onto the stage and pretended to slur – well, we presume he was pretending – as he introduced winning Avatar director James Cameron onto the podium.
But the Mirror’s headline is at odd with the story – the Mail seems to have got it about right. Gervais gives us exactly what we’d expect: David Brent:
Taylor Lautner Presents The Weinstein Post Golden Globes Bash: In Pictures
Leaving the audience at LA’s Beverly Hilton giggling nervously – whenever they caught sight of a TV camera – he exclaimed: “I’ve had a little bit of work done. I’ve had a penis reduction. Just got the one now. That’s enough.
And it is very tiny, but so are my hands, so when I’m holding it, it looks pretty big. And let’s face it, I usually am holding it. I wish I was doing that now instead of this, to be honest.”
So who has the Mirror managed to construct its headline about Gervais being a smash hit?
But several US bloggers and websites described the Readingborn star as “a comedy genius” and “a breath of fresh Hollywood air.”
No bloggers are listed. All readers know is that “several” liked him.
Josh Sussman Presents The Alternative Golden Globe Fox Party: Pictures
The Mirror pales in comparison to the Star’s puff piece:
BRIT comic Ricky Gervais thrilled Hollywood by mocking A-list celebs as he hosted the Golden Globes.
As ABC puts it:
The first hour chugged along with assembly-line efficiency, including Gervais, whose opening minutes were disappointingly toothless. He tackled predictable subjects: satirizing self-promotion by plugging DVDs for his own creations, “The Office” and “The Invention of Lying”; tossing off banal generalities about the unimportance of actors; small-penis yuks, and of course, NBC potshots. But Gervais flew through all of them so fast he didn’t land a blow, let alone draw blood.
“When will he learn that his spoof self-absorption is as obnoxious as the real thing?” the Guardian asked.
Gervais was “unbearably boring”.
Gervais is “banal”.
Gervais has been doing banal every since he made it big: playing David Brent. Gervais is no longer a man who tells jokes – he is a celebrity, popping up to do exactly what you expect him to do.
Says USA Today:
There’s no telling what’ll come out of Ricky Gervais’ mouth
Yes there is. It’s a repeat of what he said before…
Christina Hendricks’ Portico Presents The 67th Golden Globe Awards In 63 Pictures
Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Big Brother’s Katia Ivanova’s Suicide And Sex
WHEN the Daily Star told us that Katia Ivanova was booted first out of the Big Brother house because she was so popular, we arched an eyebrow.
When they told us that the alleged orgy makeweight, Basshunter hunter (orgy pics), sex taper and cocaine-snorting Rolling Stone gnome polisher would be a huge star, we looked like Amanda Holden in a wind tunnel.
It’s now Day 4 of the Star’s plan to make Katia Ivanova noticeable, chiefly by slapping her on its front page and screaming:
“BIG BRO KAT: I’VE HAD DEATH THREATS.”
It’s does seem odd that the Star, sister paper to the immigrant-unfriendly Express, should support Katia’s elevation to the status of Super Strumpet. Where are our home-grown Armanis, Portias and Danniiiiis to slap for the UK? Can we blame the recession for a death of slappers? Can we blame global warming?
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Gwyneth Paltrow Raises The Bar And The Fence Around Chris Martin’s Home
CHRIS Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are reported to have petitioned Camden Council for permission to construct a 10ft high fence around their big Belsize Park home.
Time to review a few of her bon mots:
* I`m very happy here [in London] and I really like the way the film industry works, everybody cares. I like that it doesn`t have this big capitalistic feeling…
* I like my friends here in London. They’re intelligent and not looking over my shoulder at dinner to see if there’s anyone better walking in. It’s not as vapid as LA.
* I love the English way, which is not as capitalistic as it is in America. People don’t talk about work and money; they talk about interesting things at dinner parties. I like living here because I don’t tap into the bad side of American psychology, which is ‘I’m not achieving enough, I’m not making enough, I’m not at the top of the pile.’
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Monique’s Precious Legs Are The Golden Globes Winners: Pictures
THE best legs at the Golden Globes awards belong to… Monique (Mo’Nique). She won Best Supporting Actress in a Drama for her role in Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. Lainey has more Best Of… winners. We’ve got the pictures of the mobile portico that is Christina Hendricks frontage (do see), Josh Sussman’s backstage party at Fox and Penelope Cruz auditioning for Old Mr Anorak’s mobile harem at the Weinstein’s bunfight. Expect lots of articles on how Monique is a feminists icon and you do what you can to stand out – which she did.
Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Brit Awards 2010 Nomination Party: In Pictures
AT the IndigO2 in south east London for the Brit Awards 2010 nomination party. Dappy of NDubz almost showed his bully-off face in public after his Radio 1 hissy fit. The product of mating between Pob and one of Snow White’s workers performed on stage with nominative determined Tinchy Stryder. Elly Jackson of La Roux did her usual impression of Marc Almond at a Buck Rogers convention. Pixie Lott looked good. JLS grinned. Nicole Appleton and Melanie Blatt reached South London. Fearne Cotton had “WANNA PARTY” tattooed on his calves and someone called Gabriella Cilmi killed them in the cheap seats…
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Justin Bieber Hits London In His Frosty Pyjamas: In Pictures
JUSTIN Bieber was signing his name of stuff at HMV in Westfield, west London. Over 1,500 screaming truants turned up to try and meet the singer and smother him is raspberry lip gloss. Bieber was discovered on YouTube. He’s Susan Boyle, with nicer hair, American teeth, as much pussy as he wants (smutty but it’ll appeal to his adolescent mind) and an audience with Barack Obama. He’s also at large in his pyjamas – Frosty The Snowman ones. Says Bieber on his Twitter page: “getting hyped.” He’s self-aware. We met him. In pictures:
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (11)
Taylor Lautner Presents The Weinstein Post Golden Globes Bash: In Pictures
THE Golden Globes’ after show parties continue, with The Weinstein Company’s do at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California. Fox had the ordinary people show, held in a windowless room. Weinstein went for beauty. Taylor Lautner made everyone look old. Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz made us dream. Christina Hendricks was everywhere else. And Mickey Rourke went to both bashes…
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
JLS, Cheryl Cole ‘Sing’ At Brit Awards: Susan Boyle And Rage Against The Machine Escape
THE Brits Awards serve to remind us that we produce pop stars of the calibre of faux folksy Cheryl Cole and X Factor runners up JLS. Both will perform at the BRITs 30th Anniversary show that will take place on Tuesday 16th February, at the Earl’s Court barn. Compassionate Cheryl will “perform live” – a refreshingly dishonest way of circumventing allegations that she lip-synchs.
Also performing will be Lady GaGa, Robbie Williams, Florence & The Machine, Dizzee Rascal and Kasabian, serving to remind the viewers that pop is not a televised school overseen by Simon Cowell’s board of governors.
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Josh Sussman Presents The Alternative Golden Globe Fox Party: Pictures
AFTER the beautiful people trod the Golden Globes red-carpet beneath the canopy of Christina Hendricks’ portico, the less beautiful people wandered along to the Fox Post Show Party held at Craft, Beverly Hills, California. This is not to say that the place is a refuge for mingers, more a sanctuary for those that undo the Hollywood myth that everyone in Tinseltown is wonderful looking and needs to be to get ahead, like Josh Sussman in Phil Spector’s hair. Every film needs someone to tell George Clooney that his jacket is back from the dry cleaners, to hand Brad Pitt a comb or make the rest of us feel comfortable:
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kelis Is Peta’s Dumb Animal Of the Month: Ingrid Newkirk’s Letter
PETA and Kelis has been exchanging views. Kelis has taken to wearing a badger on her head. And Peta – self-appointed spokespersons for dumb animals – is outraged. She writes to Peta’s supremo Ingrid Newkirk – she who told us:
There was nothing I loved more than my fur jacket. In my 20s, I was eating my way through the animal kingdom, and what I didn’t eat I wore.
Kelis writes a letter, and becomes Peta’s Dumb Animal Of The Month:
There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of life.
With that being said, I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious.
Hold that thought for later.
And after doing a very minimal amount of research……. I found out that the founder Ingrid Newkirk is completely batty. I had a feeling but she far exceeded my expectations. I mean certifiably insane! Lol this chicks will is nuts, google it – it’s a riot!
Beyond the fact that I think she’s a diabetic, which means she needs insulin, which is taken from lab pigs (I know this because my sister happens to be in veterinary school), which would be completely hypocritical. It’s like don’t abuse animals unless it can help me.
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
American Idol Inteview: Brian Dunkleman Speaks
AMERICAN Idol: Brian Dunkleman could have it all – the teeth, the hair, the year-round tan and the profile. Instead, he walked away from American Idol. Anorak’s Man in LA interviews:
THE debut of the ninth season of American Idol and Simon Cowell’s coinciding announcement that he’ll bolt when it’s through has brought Tabloid Baby pal Brian Dunkleman back to the entertainment spotlight, putting his decision to leave American Idol after its first season in a new, perhaps prescient, light.
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Prince William Pulls A Kiwi Bird: In Pictures
PRINCE William is in New Zealand, showing off his impression of Mr Ben, the children’s cartoon character who is jack of all trades and master of whatever outfit he is wearing. Wills is a rugby player; Wills is a Maori tribesman; Wills is a chef; Wills is a diplomat; Wills is politician kissing babies; Wills is a builder; Wills is a yachtsman. In one shot, Wills is an animals lover, in the rawest sense. Wills got his RAF wings a week a go. So, what next for Wills? Send him the outfit and the job’s his:
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Katie Price On Olly Murs And Spurs At Danielle Lloyd’s Engagement: Pictures
AT Danielle Lloyd’s engagement party to Jamie O’Hara (pictures), Katie Price arrived.
The Sun says Katie was “chatting up X Factor loser Olly Murs AND Spurs winger Aaron Lennon”.
Only the other day Katie was being linked to Spurs player Jermain Defoe. Either Katie’s looking for Lennon to assist her by knocking the ball into the box for Defoe to score with a tap in, or else it’s all just talking balls. As for Olly Murs, well, Gareth Gates was never the same after his dealings with Jordan.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
And hold on a moment – isn’t Katie dating Celebrity Big Brother’s walking Toffee Crisp Alex Reid?
Says the Sun, factually:
Alex is in Celebrity Big Brother and has no idea he has been dumped. He calls Jordan – real name Katie Price – his “soulmate”.
As the Daily Star says, just as factually:
Imogen Thomas And Danielle Lloyd’s Premiership League Table
GRUMPY glamour girl Kate Price is terrified lover Alex Reid will dump her when he leaves the house.
The lonely model has been obsessively watching every minute of Alex’s time on Celebrity Big Brother and reading every story about him.
And the flirting?
Katie Price At Danielle Lloyd’s Engagement Party: In Pictures
Kate glammed up in a tight purple minidress, but sources say she was unusually sullen and was not even knocking back the booze.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Christina Hendricks’ Portico Presents The 67th Golden Globe Awards In 63 Pictures
AT the 67th Golden Globe Awards ceremony, held at the Beverly Hilton hotel in Los Angeles, CA, the talk was of umbrellas: do you brings your own or hire a brolly maid to carry one above your head? Mariah Carey posed while husband Nick Cannon acted as a brolly stand. Others who employed the brolly wallah: Toni Collette, Taylor Lautner, Christina Hendricks – rain would not dare touch her mobile portico – Drew Barrymore, Sarah Ferguson, Heidi Klum and Kate Hudson. Those who carried their own brolly – and the man in the pair always did the work: Jesse James and Sandra Bullock, Sigourney Weaver, James Cameron and Suzy Amis, Ricky Gervais and Jane Fallon, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz. Big new. In pictures:
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Katia Ivanova On Sex, Drugs, Orgies And Jonas Altberg
DAY 3 of the plan to turn Celebrity Big Brother reject, occasional orgy makeweight and Rolling Stones gnome polisher Katia Ivanova into a star.
She’s on the front page of the Star, and the headline is senzzzzational. no, Not that Katia is a cheaper alternative to Katie Price. But that:
“KATIA – ‘RONNIE WANTS ME BACK..BUT I LOVE JONAS.”
This is Katia’s “amazing tale”.
Celebrity Big Brother In Pictures: Katia Ivanova And Heidi Fleiss Leave Together
There are “red-hot pictures” of Katia inside the paper. But they turn out to be not all that hot, more lukewarm. We see Katia in her knickers; Katia on the bed in her nightie; and Katia drinking a glass of apple juice in her bath.
One page before that you can see Chelsea with her nipples out. But, Chelsea is not front-page news because she has never done painting by numbers with a Rolling Stone nor frotted a Scandinavian fish slice called Basshunter, aka Jonas Altberg, on the telly (pictures of his orgy here).
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Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
Miley Cyrus Not: ‘A Virgin’, Tila Tequila And ‘Engaged’: Pictures
MILEY Cyrus is the subject of some non-news on the web. Tila Tequila (NSFW images) says Miley Cyrus is “not a virgin”. Of course, this is the one-woman content factory Tila who tweeted a coma and then told us she knows who “killed” her lover Casey Johnson – to whom she was married, but wasn’t.
Tila will be editing the Daily Star by March and delivering all its content
In other non Miley Cyrus news, People says Miley is not enaged.
No news can be good news if you tell it right…
Sensation 1
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Posted: 17th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
