Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
I’m A Celebrity: Gino D’Acampo Is King Rat In Panto
NO sooner has Gino D’Acampo placed upon his beneath the Jedward pineapple than the I’m A Celebrity King of the Jungle is attacked. D’Acampo has been charged with cruelty-to a rat – the one he killed and cooked in a risotto.
Gino D’Acampo is not only a king of a Blue Peter Garden, but so too a stalwart of BBC’s shows, in which bags of shopping are turned into meals between Murder She Wrote and the GiggleBiz. Here’s D’Acampo turning a rat into tasty family meal. Think on, mum and the BBC. That Christmas turkey need not break the bank.
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Posted: 6th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Westlife, Sugabaes And N-Dubz Present Capital FM’s Jingle Bell Ball In Pictures
TO Capital FM’s Jingle Bell Ball at the O2 Arena in London, with a version of the Sugababes, Taio Cruz, Nicky Byrne, Mark Feehily, Shane Filan and Kian Egan of Westlife, Pixie Lott, Dappy, Tulisa and Fazer of N-Dubz, Jamie Morrison, Shingai Shoniwa and Dan Smith of The Noisettes, Mollie King, Chipmunk, Tinchy Styder and Jordin Sparks. Finding a use for the 02 tent was once seen as the impossible job. Now it’s the big bargain bucket of pop. The pictures:
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Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Comatose Joe McElderry, Danyl Johnson Kills Polar Bears And Olly Murs Itches, Literally
X Factor: Joe McElderry makes us think, Danyl Johnson kills polar bears, Olly Murs twitches the itches and Stacey Solomon gets religious. Those performances, in order:
Olly Murs – Can You Feel It?
Olly is dressed like he’s off to the cricket club dinner. He signs a song in which the backing signers ask “Can you Feel It?” over and over and over while Olly fingers his white suit. He then dances like a pair of chicken drummers strapped to a cross trainer. He’s the worst of the night, and he’s only first up.
Joe McElderry – She’s Out Of My Life
Joe is dull. He looks neat. He sings neat. He dances neat. Even his teeth and hair are neat. Joe is a shoo-in to play the lead in Joseph And his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. Dull.
Stacey Solomon – The Way You Make Me Feel
Stacey is likeable. She wears a hat indoors. People who wear a hat indoors are either deeply religious or ready to kill someone. Stacey might be both. She straddled the furniture on stage and looked pretty good.
Danyl Johnson – Man In The Mirror
This paean to vanity is chosen by Simon Cowell. Behind Danyl there are polar bears sat on small lumps of ice as if they’re trying to melt it with their body heat. Vote for Danyl and a polar bear dies. Vote now and vote often. Polar bears are bad news.
Olly – We Can Work It Out
Olly Murs moves like someone’s poured itching powder in his knickers. The song is bouncy and forgettable. Olly is in trouble. But he does give hope that if he wins any dad can dance like a popstar – so long as that popstar is Olly Murs.
Joe – Open Arms
He sings Open Arms, as sung by Journey. As Joe sings, Anorak starts thinking of those polar bears and if they know that there are now more popular in the media than panda bears. Do polar bears gloat at the big bear get-togethers? Then I come round and Joe has finished singing.
Stacey – Somewhere
Best of the night. Stacey is allowed to mention her son. She’s through.
Danyl – I Have Nothing
Danyl through.
Stacey Though.
Joe through.
Olly out…
Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)
X Factor: Capital FM’s Jingle Bell Ball In Pictures And Jedward
LAST seen fleeing a stage in Barnsley, X Factor creations Jedward – John and Edward Grimes – turned up in the press room of Capital FM’s Jingle Bell Ball at the O2 Arena in London.
They dress the same. They look the same. They – sadly – sound the same, stereo Duracell Gonks banging a tin milk drum.
How long can Jedward last without a) a novelty record; b) talent beyond enthusiasm; c) not admiting thay they are a husband and wife act?
Question: How much does it cost to book Jedward at your do? Answer: £21,000.
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Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rock Hudson’s Lover Marc Christian Dies From Frank Sinatra Syndrome
ANORAK’S Man in LA looks at the death of Marc Christian, who gained a kind of fame as screen legend Rock Hudson’s lover.
AFTER months of rumours and unverified reports, Elaine Woo of the LA Times has confirmed the death of Marc Christian, who gained tabloid fame as the lover of Hollywood icon and AIDS victim Rock Hudson.
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Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Pictures Of Sienna Miller’s Dog Leaving Jude Law’s New York Appartment
MORE proof that Sienna Miller and Jude Law are once more rehearsing together as Anorak’s Man in New York supplies photos of comings and going by Jude’s door. The door is red, which might be as interesting as the other fact that when visiting Jude Law’s building, Miller takes along a dog. Might it be that Miller and Law are not an item and that the actress is citing someone else in the building, a dog trainer or a doggie mate for her little pal? It’s high time celebrity’s dogs began breeding. Look out for Wow-K magazine, featuring pictures of Paris Hilton’s dog looking thin…
Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
I’m A Celebrity: Gino D’Acampo Is New Captain Birds Eye
I’M A Celebrity: Gino D’Acampo wins the show and the press goes wild for the This Morning’s first reserve chef, the country most famous Gino since Dexy’s Midnight Runners sang about a Birmingham mini cab driver and Captain Birds Eye enthused about his Gino Ginelli Tutti Frutti ice cream.
Well, not exactly wild. In fact, only the Daily Star leads with Gina In Da Campo (more nominative determinism at work), telling its readers that he is “King of the jungle”.
As Gino sits at one bed of the Blue Peter Garden, atop the mound where Percy Thrower was last seen weeding the vegetable patch, we deliver our I’m A Celebrity news round-up.
I’M A Celebrity’s Gino D’Acampo is out to challenge Gordon Ramsay – by launching his own TV food show in which he is NICE.
You mean telly shows like on Ready, Steady Cook, Masterchef, Delia Smith Boils An Egg, Nigella Lawson’s Sex & Sauce shows, Hugh Furry Rabbit’s Tails country kitchen and just about any other TV cooking show that doesn’t feature the vain Ramsay belittling people?
Maybe he can do it naked?
“I was very horny in there. It was three weeks without sex. And they put me in a knocker camp surrounded by women with big boobies. It drove me wild.
“All my dreams and energy ended up concentrated in one part of my body. Things got so bad that when Kim said she would pose nude for a magazine, I found myself saying: ‘I’d buy that!’
What about the local news? The Borehamwood Times tells its readers that one their own has won:
ELSTREE chef Gino D’Acampo was crowned king of the jungle in the final of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!
What next for Gino in D’campo. Well, fomer winners have goen to carry on as before (Tony Blackburn), advertise insurn (Phil Tuffnell), selling frozen squirrels (Kerry Katona), presenting an eartl evening TV gaemshow (Joe Pasquale), laughing at Golliwogs (Carol Thatcher) and not fiogn all that much (Matt Willis).
What price Gino Ginelli ice cream makes a comeback? Owowowowow Gino…
Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor Cancer Victim Danyl Johnson Hospitalised Over ‘Arts Injury’, In Pictures
DID you know that X Factor singer Danyl Johnson had a “secret battle with cancer”? Not that it’s a secret any more.
At that secret X Factor gig – that was only a secret if you weren’t invited (we were: pictures here) – Danyl Johnson revealed his secret to the, er, media. He had testicular cancer as a boy.
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
X Factor: Jedward Bottled On Stage
X FACTOR finalists Jedward have cancelled their appearance in Manchester’s Pure club “due to illness”.
In other unrelated news, Jedward have been pelted with a bottle and abuse as they took their Duracell Gonk act to Barnsley’s Escapade nightclub.
The twins flee, not stopping to pick up the bottle marked “broken glass” and gargle with its contents. Rock ‘n’ roll is dead. Says the popstars:
“We’re so disappointed, we didn’t even get to sing Ghostbusters.”
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Helen Mirren Shows Her Jug At The Women In Film And TV Awards
TO the Women In Film And TV Awards held at the Hilton Hotel in London. Su Johnston, Adrian Lester (not a woman), Dame Helen Mirren (with the juge-shaped Working Title Films Lifetime Achievement Award, presented to her by John Hurt), Hannah Mcgill, Katie Jarvis, a very unlined Mariella Frostrup, Sarah Harding, Toby Stephens, Patricia Hodge, Ann Robinson, Romola Garai’s joker lips, Miriam Margolyes, Claudia Winkleman, Michelle Collins, Jo Brand and Nicola Mclean. The canapes weren’t bad. The pictures are better:
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Sarah Ferguson Laughs It Up At The Young Victoria Permiere, In Pictures
SARAH Ferguson is at the US premiere of the film ‘Young Victoria’, California. Ferguson helped to produce the film in her new role as female version of Prince Edward, who billed as ‘Edward Windsor’ – and known to millions as TWIT (The Weed In Tweed) – created documentaries on his great uncle Edward VIII, Royalty from A to Z and a show about the Tower of London. Fergie is involved with project about a Queen. Not too long ago, Fergie was on estate in Hull telling us:
“I inspire people to get on and do things by rallying the troops. I’m an enabler. What saved people after the blitz was a cup of tea and a biscuit.”
And what saved Ferie were two progeny, a divorce settlement and a way of making money for her children’s bloodline. Pictures of the event:
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Paris Hilton New Perfume Lures Men To Their Deaths
PARIS Hilton’s latest signature scent is called Siren. While other Paris smells deal with her sheets draw (Just Me), wallet (Heiress), warm hotel corridors in European capital cities (Paris Hilton), embalming fluids (Heir), Barack Obama (Can Can) and Dandruff (Fairy Dust), Siren smells of a wrecked trawler boat. The fragrance features top notes mandarin, apricot nectar, frangipani, honeysuckle, coconut orchid, water lily, vanilla beans, sandalwood and creamy musk. Works one your skin or as marinade for sardines.
(On the box, Paris Hilton is dressed as a mermaid. Siren’s were orginally three dangerous bird-women, who doomed men with their singing. Look out for siren coming with a complimentary Paris Hilton album.)
Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
I’m A Celebrity Star In Death Horror
THE real stars of I’m A Celebrity are the bugs, the insects that are made to touch celebrity flesh and forced to endure showbiz teeth without the aid of sunglasses. You want to know why ANT ‘n’ Dec got the job? It’s all to do with dimensions and the dumb luck of a birth certificate.
But Chris Packham is unimpressed. Packham hosts Autumnwatch, a show brought to you live from a hut by a tree, in which you can hear and see Packham and other BBC employees watching British wildlife in the wild in the manner of pre-war school teachers examining a banana.
“I’ve seen spiders with plugs on their fangs. It’s not going to do them any good.”
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: X Factor’s Olly Murs, Stacey Solomon, Joe McElderry And Danyl Johnson In Secret London Gig
ANORAK’S woman with a pass was in Soho, London, to see the X-Factor finalists Olly Murs, Joe McElderry, Stacey Solomon and Danyl Johnson performing at the gig billed as “secret”. It was secret if you hadn’t been invited, in which case it was top secret. We had been invited. And here are the pictures of the X Factor agonists who by next months you’ll be struggling to remember…
Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Nicole Kidman’s Balloon And An Inflated Penelope Cruz Present The Nine Premiere In Photos
AT the “world premiere” of Nine at the Odeon Leicester Square (unless you downloaded it and had your own premiere in Surbiton), the great and good brave the cold and drizzle to be seen. It was an odd mix of talent – Dame Judi Dench, Daniel Day Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman (they say she keeps a balloon on a stick in a secret loft), Kate Hudson and the people who the producers need to fill the cheap seats – Camilla Dallerup, Ricky Groves, Natasha Kaplinsky, Brian Friedman, Bruno Tonioli and Nancy Dell’Olio. We’ve got pictures:
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Hanky User Ronnie Wood Arrested Over Domestic Incident
ROLLING Wood has been arrested “on suspicion of assault in connection with a domestic incident.” Ronnie Wood is Anorak’s Hanky user Of The Year for 2009.
Indeed, such a humble thing to be pinched for. Those heady days of rock and roll excess are long behind the Rolling Stone’s mascot. Wood has had a domestic, allegedly. No rampage thought a hotel lobby with a model attached to a fire engine and crew. A domestic incident.
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Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tiger Woods’ Women: The Jaimee Grubbs Nominative Determinism Picture Gallery
TIGER Woods’ alleged mistress, Jaimee Grubbs is seen leaving Firefly in Studio City in Los Angeles, USA – spotted by Anorak’s golf correspondent, Teresa Green, cock-a-hoop that finally she can report on something other than boring men escaping their wives by putting things into holes. Here are pictures of shy, demure Jaimee, the 24-year-old surely now former Las Vegas cocktail waitress and star of the TV show… Tool Academy. Oh, nominative determinism, cruel mistress of Tiger Woods and Jaimee Grubbs…
Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Katie Price’s Cupid Stunt And Peter Andre’s Horror
KATIE Price and Peter Andre: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jordan and pop acorn Pete in the news…
Daily Star (front page): Peter: I’ll never take Kate back”
PETER Andre says Katie Price’s post-jungle behaviour has proved once and for all why he will never take her back.
Kate? Oh, Katie Price’s latest nom-de-slap. The front-page features a picture of Katie Price looking like an orange balloon with a felt-tip-drawn face topped with a chimpanzee’s pelt sat on the top.
Peter Andre slammed reports that they were planning to reunite to boost their careers, slamming the rumours as “offensive”. He was “horrified” anyone could think he’d put his children through a divorce as a PR stunt.
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Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jonas Brothers, Black-Eyed Peas And Katy Perry’s Cleavage Present The X Factor Free Grammys, In Pictures
TIME for another music industry AGM and we look at the Grammy nominations. The usual suspects are all name checked: Beyonce Knowles (10 award nominations), Taylor Swift (8), and The Black Eyed Peas, Maxwell and Kanye West (6 each). That might sound a lot but with 109 categories to be nominated for, Beyonce and the big sellers may feel short changed. As for Simon Cowell’s reality TV – American Idol, X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent – concoctions, there is not a single nomination. Simon Cowell didn’t kill music – he just put it into a category marked “CRAP”. Here’s the breaking news in pictures:
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Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
50 Cent Uses $25,000 To Advertise For Muggers
TEETHY rapper 50 Cent wants everyone to know that he has $25,000 in his pocket. As she says:
“I always carry $25,000 in cash, just in case something happens.”
Something happens..? 50 Cent was once shot nine times in a single episode. He carries £25,000 on him at all times. Why? Because it makes him feel secure.
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Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
RIP Coronation Street Star Maggie Jones, Your Life In Pictures
RIP Coronation Street actress Maggie Jones. You were Blanche Hunt, Deidre Barlow’s mum. “You need to learn to enjoy other people’s misfortune; otherwise, you’re going to have a very unhappy old age” – that was you.
Says ITV:
“Maggie, who has played battle-axe pensioner Blanche Hunt since 1974, died at the Salford Royal Hospital where she has been treated since falling ill in October. Maggie had been making a slow recovery but her condition deteriorated early Wednesday morning and she passed away peacefully in her sleep.”
Pictures of her career:
Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Video Of Tiger Woods Car Crash
WANT to know that really happened to Tiger Woods in his dramatic battle with a fire hydrant? The Taiwanese News CG Reenactment has the answers you’ve been looking for.
Prepare to be enlightened a Tigber Woods and Elin Nordegren get to making news. It’s video that will stun, shock, sadden and enthrall. You Ready?
Ready? Ok… Here goes:
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Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
All The I’m A Celebrity Sexy Shower Scenes, In Pictures
ANORAK women have picked up the scent of soapy celebrity and demanded that Old Mr Anorak features the I’m A Celebrity men working up a lather in Australia’s prototype shower. As one readers writes:
Anorak you are a total toerag, this NEEDS to be on the Front page.
So for all you hungry women here are pictures of Gina In Da Campo, Jimmy ‘Interesting’ White, Colin (to the left) and Justin (to the right), a tan-washed George Hamilton, Bernard’s already wetter than wet son Stuart Manning and Joe ‘Bug-eyed’ Buger getting washing…
Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
X Factor: Jedward Debut Novelty Christmas Song On The Simpsons
X FACTOR creations Jedward are to appear on an episode of The Simpsons. Already half–yellow and used as Simon Cowell’s play things, John and Edward Grimes will require little work to be transformed into cartoons.
Jedward: X Factor John And Edward Look Alike Gallery
The Sun says the X Factor twins “are set to get a quiff of TV stardom in America – in an episode of The Simpsons.” Fact!
Or as the show’s producers say:
“We are taking a look at the boys. We love anything Irish – we set a whole show there last year. They are certainly charming and good-looking fellows.”
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Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Red Cross Tribute To Annie Lennox, In Pictures
ANORAK’S ligger was there to see Annie Lennox speak at the Red Cross ‘Tribute to Annie Lennox’ gala dinner and concert at Guildhall in London. Also there were singing sensation Little Boots, charity saint Sir Bob Geldof, Hollowood star Kevin Spacey and, er, Tim Vincent who used to present Blue Peter. What? No Bono! Where’s Mr G9?
The Red Cross presented Annie Lennox with its Services to Humanity award last year, arranged its tribute to her on World Aids Day, recognising her commitment to raising the awareness of the disease. In pictures:
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Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
