Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
I’m A Celebrity’s Sam Fox’s Career In Pictures
SAMANTHA Fox is on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!, and a million middle-aged men’s hearts flutter. Times have changed in the world of glamour modelling. Sam’s real charms are in a chest-off with Katie Price’s gargantuan, equal-opportunities Jordan’s. No longer do you have to be born blonde and busty to get on – now you can buy the look. That’s progress. These are the pictures:
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Peter Andre ‘Dates’ X Factor Singer Stacey Solomon
WANT to read about Peter Andre’s “movie date” with X Factor hopeful Stacey Solomon?
In OK! magazine, you can. What’s more, the magazine has the “FIRST EVER PICTURE”.
This is a front-page exclusive. And we begin our journey through a magazine in hunt the X Factor starlet and Mr Katie Price, as was.
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Blowjobs And Fat Sex As Sarah Brown, Alesha Dixon And The X Factor Stars Attend The Cosmopolitan Women of the Year Awards, In Pictures
TO the Cosmopolitan Women of the Year Awards at the Banqueting House in London, with the X Factor stars, Alesha Dixon and bits of Girls Aloud.
Sarah Brown was there to lend her support to the magazines whose website features such worthy women’s issues as:
Get more mind-blowing BJ tips here!
Find out how to have earth shattering orgasms
Rock his world with these blow job tips
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Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Angelina Jolie Is Named UN Ambassador For Next Of Kin
ANGELINA Jolie will adopt a child from Syria. So says OK! magazine.
Right now Syrian children are smoothing down their hair and widening their eyes. Mums dreaming of Amerika are kicking their children out into the cold night air. Coachloads of Iranians booking package tours to Damascus. This is it. This is the Willy Wonka moment.
Ethiopia. Cambodia. Vietnam. She’s working her way up the Fifa rankings. Had Graham Taylor remained in charge for another few seasons, England might have figured between Mauritania and Andorra.
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Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Me And My Chest: Peter Andre’s Career in Pictures
PETER Andre – a career in pictures. Anorak looks at the London-born adopted Australian who went back to the Australian jungle and returned to London a celebrity.
How he managed this is due in no small part to Katie Price and her gargantuan Jordans. But Peter is not without his own chests. The pictures:
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Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Amy Winehouse’s New Breasts And Massive Arse In Photos
AMY WINEHOUSE loves her new Jordans and now wants to have some more anaesthetic and balance herself out by getting her bum implanted. She could just wear a God’s Hand bra in her knickers, and blow smoke in to inflate the cups.
Perhaps having a new massive arse dragging behind her will prevent Amy from missing Blake too much? Look out for her getting stuck in lifts and doors. A source explains to the Sun:
“Amy loves her boobs. She can’t stop touching them and showing them off to friends. She says she feels womanly again and wants to be more curvy like she used to be.
“She thinks by having another op and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look.”
Can you stick a pin into an inflatable doll? Winehouse seems prepared to give it a whirl. Those breasts in pictures:
Amy Winehouse’s Breasts Stand Between Her And Lindsay Lohan
Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Stephen Hawking Records X Factor Tribute Album
STEPHEN Hawking will now sing for you. Hawking has yet to record an X Factor tribute album for the over-25s category, but he ‘sings’ on a pop single tribute to scientist Carl Sagan.
Anorak has no extracts from the album to entertain you with, but we do have a recording of Hawking issuing a chant that you can join in if you feel in the mood. It’s taken from Hawking Sings The Terraces:
Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
X Factor: How To Tell Jedward Apart, And Look Alike Gallery
WANT to know how to spot the difference between John and Edward, the X Factor’s Jedward creation?
The Mirror advertises how you can “TELL THEM APART”.
We guess that John is a better singer than Edward and Edward is a better dancer than John. But it might be the other way around. First up some facts:
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Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
X Factor: Jedward Line Up Hollywood Movie Deal
ON the betting markets Jedward are fancied only less than amnesiac yodeller Lloyd Daniels. But Hollywood waits.
If Jedward go, what will Closer magazine do for news? This week, readers get a welter of Jedward shockers. There’s TV funnyman Alan Carr saying:
“The way I feel about John and Edward is the way I feel about anthrax. They’re awful.”
On the letter’s pages, a reader cheers Jedward for “giving it a go”.
But the pick of the news is the story featuring Sam and Amanda Marchant – who they? – dressing up as Jedward and saying that they will double-date the twins.
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Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
What It Cost To Bury Michael Jackson, In Numbers
MICHAEL Jackson is dead. He is still speaking on the telly. But he remains largely dead. We who saw the funeral know that he is dead.
Anorak’s Man in the Morgue has been looking through the family’s itemized list of expenses for Michael Jackson’s private, invitation-only funeral at Forest Lawn Glendale, and he’s impressed.
LIKE that pair of tacky pictures of Jackson positioned on either end of the casket… $3,682.66… and it’s not even a flattering portrait.
Michael’s “burial garments?” They cost $35,000.
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Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Is Underwater For 120 Minutes, And Lives
KIMBERLY Stewart is an “ambassador”, say Hello!. Who isn’t? You are now official ambassadors for the readers of Anorak. Congrats and maximum respect due, your Excellency.
Stewart is an ambassador for fresh20, which is a charity promoting fresh water. She advertises the need for fresh drinking water by submerging herself in swimming pool while full clothed.
“She was underwater for a total of 120 minutes.”
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Peter Andre Thumbs Libel And Does A Katie Price
KNOWING what to do with your hands when Katie Price has gone, might be a problem for Peter Andre. But sentimental Peter is nothing if not talented and he has come up with the raised thumbs.
Thumbs are the way forward. As our gallery shows, since he left Katie Price’s side, Peter has been all thumbs. They signify much.
Today Peter Andre was at the Royal Courts of Justice in central London, after he accepted “substantial” damages in the High Court over “offensive” allegations that he was lying in portraying himself as a loving father and husband.
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Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Michael Jackson’s Five Questions For Derek Acorah, Video
FOR those of you who missed Derek Acorah’s live séance with Michael Jackson, here it is. Jackson has a message from beyond. What is his message? His message is that David Gest’s head is on fire? That June Sarpong now has all the credibility of Simon Cowell looking for singing talent? No. Not this time. Michael wants us to know that he’s not the only one whose looking for a new outlet on the telly:
Here are the Top Five celebrities Derek Acorah should connect with next:
Saddam Hussein – Is Barbara Windsor right to duck out of EastEnders now, or should she wait until Sam is married?
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Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
Lucia Anne Grigorieva Gibson, In Pictures
CELEBRITY Catholic Mel Gibson’s lover Oksana Grigorieva presents their new baby daughter Lucia to the massed Hello! congregation. Mel seems to have ignored our advice to name the child Melanie Mary Passion Sugartits Eva Beaver Gibson, going instead for Lucia Anne Grigorieva Gibson.
Although there is always the nickname to develop. We live in hope.
Lucia is Mel’s eighth wonder. This makes him Octo-dad. While we wonder what three more children will do more Mel’s self-esteem, Oksana tells us:
“Premature babies do eat a lot – they just eat and sleep.”
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Mastechef Eater Greg Wallace Introduces His Heidi
MASTERCHEF “star” Gregg Wallace, 44, he of the BBC TV extempore eating gig, is engaged to be married.
So, Greg, Hello! asks, was the lovely Heidi, 27, attracted to your fame? You met on Twitter. You have only dated for 8 months? Greg has said that “being on TV has been great for your love life”. No, says Greg.
“Heidi actually shies away from anything glitzy.”
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Inside Wayne And Coleen Rooney’s Nursery For Kai
IN this week’s Hello! you can read of “Wayne and Coleen’s baby joy”. You can go “inside the new Rooney nursery”. You can read Coleen’s “thoughts on being a mum”.
Might it be that Coleen has gone back on her word not to sell pictures of her baby to the press?
Well, er, no.
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After Chicago Oprah’s Aha Moment Comes Too Late For Alan Partridge
FIRST Chicago now this: Oprah Winfrey might not have won her case against Mutual of Omaha for using what she said was her phrase “aha moment”, used to signify “flashes of understanding“. Alan Partidge is listening.
That’s right, Alan – if you’re rich and have lawyers you can trademark a language. Every time your words are used you need to be credited, or better paid. Trademark your names, kids, and then ask teacher to cough up as she says it aloud at the morning register. Go for long names and charge by the letter.
The only danger is that if someone famous says your name on the telly first, they own it. You will either have to speak to their lawyers or get a new name. Think on.
Our Man in LA rounds up:
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Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Cheryl Cole’s Ring Gives Ashley The X Factor
CHERYL Cole’s wedding ring is big news. On the last X Factor, Cheryl did not wear her massive rock. Why? Well, before we get to the heated debate, let Cheryl explain, via sources:
The judge, 26, who spent yesterday with the injured Chelsea footballer, 28, said she ditched the £160,000 sparkler as it clashed with her outfits on Saturday and Sunday’s shows.
When your wedding ring clashes with your outfit you know you’re in a secure relationship, or in need of a new ring and a dress hewn from solid rock with two rubies on your nipples and a diamond gusset. Something befitting a WAG.
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Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Harry Hill Chairs Simon Cowell’s Court Of Appeal
X FACTOR: The Sun’s front page tells us: “My Secret Plan For X Factor t’win it – Harry Hill on the X Factor.” Move over scheming Simon Cowell. The X Factor Supreme Court of Appeal is in session.
For the past few weeks, the Sun has been holding back a few stories from web readers. These exclusives can be read only in the paper. Because Anorak buys the paper, we can tell you what’s inside.
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Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price And Sex Talk Peter Andre Check Into The Mayfair Hotel
KATIE Price and Peter Andre: Jordan and Peter Andre spend the night together. And Pete talks of sex.
This is front-page news in the Daily Star:
“JORDAN SPENDS NIGHT WITH PETER.”
Lest you think there is no romance, the Star says it is a “hotel ‘date’”. Those inverted commas suggest that the Star is trying to have it every way, seducing readers with talk of a Katie and Peter’s coming together and then coaching the small print in quotes.
LOVE-split couple Kate Price and Peter Andre booked into the same hotel yesterday, we can reveal.
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Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
X Factor: Simon Cowell Seduces Lucie Jones’ Grandma And Jedward
X FACTOR Watch: Simon Cowell seduces Lucie Jones grandma, and makes a hero of Chery Cole and Jedward more popular than ever.
Daily Mirror (front page): “X RAGE”
There’s a picture of Simon Cowell looking smug. And news in bullet points:
* 3,000 furious complaints on ITV
* Cowell tried to rig Cheryl vote
* Watchdog may probe fix
Taking each of those points in turn – The Fury:
Can a complaint be furious? Well, Lucie’s grandma says “yes”. And she is:
“I was furious. I said all along if it came down to Lucie and anyone else he would get rid of her because he is afraid of her. He is afraid of her voice.”
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Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
X Factor: Lucie Jones’ Freudian Masterclass
AS Lucie Jones heads to Stockport, to turn on the Christmas lights, and Jedward are served up as entertainment, we round-up the latest bout of X Factor news:
Says Lucie Jones:
“I think the harder they work, the better they are. I’ve never known anyone to work as hard as they did last week with Ghostbusters. If I hear that song one more time, I swear my head might pop off.”
And when Lucie’s head has popped off, it can be replaced with a John & Edward head. There are more then 20 John & Edward’s already in existence. Join us. Before they join you.
Lucie Jones is still talking, through her own head:
“They deserve to be in it. The ‘sing-off’ song was so entertaining last night and they absolutely killed it, and I was proud to know them.”
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Posted: 9th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Yet Another Reason To Hate Danyl Johnson
X FACTOR news as Lucie Jones makes ready to go the GAY way and the Daily Star finds a new reason to hate Danyl Johnson:
Meanwhile, “cocky” Danyl Johnson’s new haircut gave him the wow factor. The troubled teacher did a Britney by shaving his hair in a bid to get noticed by the judges.
Well, no. Johnson cut his hair into what barbers call a “Number Two”, a term that seems to fit well with the tabloids’ latest attack on Johnson:
Smug teacher Danyl, 27, unveiled his slick new look on Saturday night’s live show as he sang a Prince song. But the singer’s fans were left in a frenzy over his new shaven head and are left split over whether he made the right decision.
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Posted: 9th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
X Factor: Simon Cowell Cracks A Joke
MORE X Factor news now as Simon Cowell loses the show when Lucie Jones is rejected and Jedward murder another day. Only, Simon Cowell can’t lose. Let’s review the facts:
Cowell Loses
Ipswich Evening Star: “X-FACTOR: Joke is on Simon Cowell this time”
Nominative determinism now as Nigel Pickover looks back at the X Factor:
The joke is on you this time Mr Cowell – and I believe The X-Factor is less of a show because of it.
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Posted: 9th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor Singers JLS Do GAY, In Pictures
JLS have performed at GAY Heaven in London. Too black Rachel Adedeji also sang there. So too did Cheryl Cole tribute act Kandy Rain. GAY Heaven is where X Factor contestants go meet GAY Angels and other paying punters.
One question, well, two: what does JLS stand for. No, we don’t mean what is the lads’ stance on war or fish on Fridays, but what does the acronym pad out to? Junior Lip Sync? And GAY? Good And Young? Your suggestions, pleases. The pictures of the show:
Posted: 9th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
