X Factor: Danyl Johnson Saved By Stacey Solomon

AND it came to pass that the X Factor did some down to Miss Frank, a would-be drag act named after a boutique in the Poole Arndale Centre, and Danyl Johnson, the Bronze Age Will Young.

Both acts are vastly superior to non-singing, non-dancing Lloyd Daniels and Return To Oz extras John & Edward.

Was Danyl undone by the story of his making Stacey Solomon cry? We waited. The judges would decide. Who stays?

Anorak

Posted: 25th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Janet Jackson Breaks Her ‘Vow’ To Michael Jackson

MICHAEL JACKSON’s youngest sister Janet Jackson promised to wear black for a year to mourn her brother.

A source told all the press:

“Janet, like the rest of the Jackson family, has been left bereft by Michael’s passing. She felt a particular bond to her brother and has been distraught since his death. As a mark of respect she has decided to only wear black clothes to express her grief, and she has had to go on a number of shopping trips to find suitable items to wear.

“She has resolved to mourn Michael’s death for 12 months, and in June next year – on the anniversary of Michael’s passing – her time of reflection will come to an end.”

This picture hereunder is from October, and shows Janet Jackson with Will.i.am at UFC 104, an Ultimate Fighting Championship, at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.

Anorak

Posted: 25th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Take That’s World Cup Song For England

TAKE That are to create the anthem for England’s World Cup 2012 effort. Screams the NoTW’s Dan Wootton:

ENGLAND: Take That To Write World Cup Anthem.

Inside and readers hear Dan Wooton tell them:

GARY BARLOW has a new goal . . . to write England’s World Cup anthem and perform it with his man band TAKE THAT.

The lads want to follow in the footie-steps of NEW ORDER, the LIGHTNING SEEDS and, er, the SPICE GIRLS.

Goal? Want?

Anorak

Posted: 25th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

X Factor: Danyl Johnson Helps Stacey Solomon Connect With Her Tears

MORE X Factor news as The People spots “’Vile’” Danyl Johnson who “has rival [Stacey Solomon] weeping”.

Vile? Surely The People means to say “heroic” Danyl Johnson. If the ‘Bronze Age Will Young’ can make a rival singer weep, surely he’s doing his own battle for the Christmas No.1 no favours. Tears are what the X Factor is all about, which is why on last night’s show we met the agonists’ proud parents, including Johnson’s mum who, naturally, wept.

So who is Johnson making cry this week – two weeks ago Johnson accused of making Cheryl Cole tribute act Kandy Rain sob like a vicar with his zip caught in a lap dancing club.

Danyl Johnson left rival Stacey Solomon in tears in the X Factor house with a vicious personal jibe.

Anorak

Posted: 25th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)

X Factor Finalists John & Edward Scare Sick Children For Charity

TIME for an X Factor Tribute to Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, and latterly the King of Prop(ofol).

What might be the best way to pay homage to the singer who, if Lloyd Daniels has the X Factor, surely had the XXX Factor? Dr Conrad Murray saying Jackson died from an acute bout of Olly Murs? Pub singer Jamie Archer dressing as a human sambuca? A Halloween rendition of Thriller with John & Edward coming as they are?

Later. For now, the The X Factor finalists are to release a cover (aka inferior copy) of Michael Jackson’s You Are Not Alone to – get this – raise money for Great Ormond Street Hospital.

Kids, you are not alone. Michael Jackson’s here. As Sky News reports:

Simon Cowell is urging fans of the show to buy the record to help sick children

And to help third-rate singers who are barely out of school.

In other X Factor news:

Wales Online, Nathan Bevan: “DRUGS can do funny things to a person.”

See above.

Take my uncle Iestyn for example. Someone once bet him to lick the top of the cistern down the toilets of his local and he ended up crawling round the dancefloor backwards, his trousers and pants down and barking like a dog.
To compound that image still further, I should probably tell you that Iestyn also has a pair of eyes tattooed on his buttocks. I can’t blame that on drugs though, he had them done years ago…

But I digress.

What I actually wanted to talk to you about was Whitney Houston on X Factor.

Make the link…

Anorak

Posted: 25th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Mark Croft Tows Kerry Katona Into A Pub For £50 A Time

HOW much shopping can you do in Iceland for £50? That question to you, Kerry Katona, as the NoTW reports:

“Kerry Katona’s low-life husband Mark Croft is flogging her for personal appearances at £50 a time.”

Anorak wonders what constitutes an appearance? Is, say, having Kerry stick out her tongue in your direction an appearance? If so, Croft might be chancing his arm and trying to test the limits of Kerry’s market value.

If a tongue poke is £50, how much for full two-fingered salute; having her slur your name; or her grabbing your tits and gurning?

Anorak

Posted: 24th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Katie Price’s Alex Reid In Thai Ladyboy Tongue Twister

ALEX Reid, Katie Price’s walking Toffee Crisp, “became OBSESSED with this Thai ladyboy he met in a sex club.”

She’s called Kay Kae. And it’s ‘A OK Kay Kae’ from Alex Reid who “kissed and cuddled Kay Kae and made 15-mile trips to see her during three months teaching at a martial arts centre on the holiday isle of Phuket”.

Kay Kae wasn’t doing the teaching with her Karate Chopper, Alex Reid was. And Kay Kae, who has now undergone a sex change, says “Reid KNEW of her male past because of her large hands – but added: ‘He liked me to talk dirty.’”

A sex change doesn’t take in the hands. The hands never lie – neither does the RAF uniform, because in the tabloids a sex change operation is always carried out of a member of Her Majesty’s armed forces.

Anorak

Posted: 24th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Save Perez: Perez Hilton Is Scientology’s ‘Latest Victim’

CELEBRITY blogger gone native Perez Hilton (and family) is introducing his readers to the wonders of Scientology.

Anorak’s Man in the ratsnest tells us:

“Notice the text on pink background below, sandwiched between badly written blog stories?

“That’s not just an informational blurb about the Church of Scientology – it’s space bought & paid for by the church. And who’s the recipient of those Scientology dollars? Perez Hilton.”

Nothing wrong with anything about that. You can support what you like on your own blog. But Perez Hilton seems a little confused about what his views on Scientology are. He likes their money – unless he’s posting the ads for free? – but doesn’t seem to much like them:

On the matter of John Travolta’s son Jett’s death:

This must have been a very difficult day for the star, but we wonder if there will be any backlash from the Scientology community, where discussion of developmental disorders is a big no-no.

The weird Katie Holmes:

Look at Tom’s intense gaze! Well, the couple that jogs together…loves Xenu together?

Anorak

Posted: 24th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Celtic’s Susan Boyle Moment: In Pictures

SUSAN Boyle Watch: Better than Celtic…

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Amy Winehouse’s Dad Mitch Says Her Breasts Are ‘Fantastic’

WHEN Amy Winehouse moved overseas, Mitch Winehouse waited. He and a bit. But mostly he waited.

Now Mitch is on This Morning. Philip Schofield says Mitch wrote his daughter’s obituary. Mitch says he didn’t. Schofield wonders if he’s sure? Mitch is sure.

While the researcher fetches her coat, Mitch talks about educating MPs on how to improve treatment for drug addicts. Mitch has a cause. And Holly Willoughby gives full throat to more bad research, saying that “offending addicts” go to prison and get treatment.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price And Peter Andre: How Dignified Peter Keeps Private Things Private

HAVING told Katie Price’s current accessory Alex Reid in a phone call that he was going to “break your fucking legs”, a dignified Peter Andre, who also called Reid a “fag” and a “tranny”, tells OK! readers:

“A private phone conversation should be kept private. I believe within minutes it was put on Facebook. It’s a game and I really don’t want to be dragged into it.”

You can read all about how dignified Peter doesn’t like to be dragged into it here. And you learn why Peter keeps mum and rises above it all here:

I’m aware that at some stage they’ll want to go on the internet, read what happened, and see what was said, and I don’t want them to read anything bad their dad has said about their mum.

And here.

And if you want to hear about private phone calls, you can read this in the Daily Mirror:

Horrified Peter Andre accused Katie Price of being a “despicable mother” during an expletive-filled row witnessed by the Mirror. The singer was incensed after discovering Katie was teaching their children to swear – using the C-word in front of Junior, four, Princess, two, and Harvey, seven.
During the ferocious six-minute phone conversation Katie, 31, instructed Junior to use vile and offensive language.

The Mirror was with Peter, 36, throughout the conversation.

It went on:

Katie then took the phone back from the youngster and launched a vicious attack on her former manager Claire Powell, who still represents Peter. She called her a “fat, ugly, evil c***.”

The emotional singer retaliated, calling Katie a “despicable mother” and a “disgrace”. By chance, the argument was captured by an ITV2 camera crew filming for Peter’s reality show.

Elsewhere in OK!, Peter tells readers about his new song for Katie, the delightful, You Ain’t Worth Shit.

“I hope the ratings for this are good, just so people can hear that song at the end,” he chuckles to us, clearly regaining his sense of humour after a torrid few months.”

Privacy. What privacy. They can’t handle the privacy…

Picture: Peter enjoying a private meal with few of his agent’s clients in a Mayfair hotel, before a big row that made it into the papers. Why do they stare?

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, OK! | Comments (5)

RIP Joseph Wiseman: James Bond’s Dr No Is No More

RIP Joseph Wiseman, the archetypal James Bond baddie.

“Stage acting was what he wanted to be remembered for,” Wiseman’s daughter said.

Among other actors he might be. In the media and in homes, he will always be Dr No. He set the standard for some of the film industry’s gratest villains.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Alex Reid In Drag Helps Katie Price Flog Standing Out

ANOTHER day and another promotion. Today, Katie Price (centre) launches her new book ‘Standing Out’ at Selfridges. She is accompanied by (left to right) her boyfriend Alex Reid, Andrew Gould, Daniel Price and Phil Turner.

There are lots more pictures of the early Halloween show here.

And you can read our review of the book here – Katie Price, Standing Out: Thongs, Wrongs And Dongs.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Garth Brooks Returns As Country Music’s Van Gogh

AFTER a nine-year hiatus, country music singer Garth Brooks is back wearing a big hat in a professional capacity.

Brooks is starring at the Wynn Encore, Las Vegas. embarking on a five-year weekend residency from December 11.

Is he nervous?

“How is Steve Wynn making money off this?” the singer was asked. “He isn’t. He’s just not,” Brooks responded. “He’s a collector of art, you know,” referring to the CEO’s collection of paintings by Cezanne, Van Gogh, Picasso and other world class-artists.

Garth Brooks Is Country Music’s Van Gogh.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Katie Price And Peter Andre Come Together Over Stacy Solomon

GREAT news that Katie Price and Peter Andre have agreed to agree that X Factor singer Stacy Solomon is their fave. They‘ve had their rows…

…But the bubbly Dagenham girl has brought them together and they’ve both raved about how sweet she is.

X Factor host Dermot O’Leary says Stacey is “the new Jade Goody”, which should mean we see Pete jogging along with “STACEY” daubed on his arm.

In other news the Sun says:

JORDAN took a leaf out of Cheryl Cole’s book today with her choice of outfit. The glamour model, real name Katie Price, decided to wear a military style jacket which was strikingly similar to the one the X Factor judge put on for her performance on Sunday.

If Katie can lose some layers, show more flesh, shag a vomitous footballer and sing along to a backing tape, she can be “the new Cheryl Cole”, or the old one.

Over in the Daily Star, the front page news is sensational:

“Jordan: Peter & I shared our marriage bed with another woman.”

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Queen Elizabeth Celebrates Her Black Heritage

The Duke of Edinburgh looks on as Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II unveils a bust of herself made by British sculptor, Oscar Nemon, at the House of Lords in central London.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

RIP Vic Mizzy, Of The Addams Family: Click Along

RIP Vic Mizzy, who has died at his Bel Air home. He was 93.

Vic Mizzy wrote the theme songs to Green Acres and The Addams Family. you know his work. Mizzy played a harpsichord.

“‘I sat down; I went “buh-buh-buh-bump [snap-snap], buh-buh-buh-bump,” he recalled in a 2008 interview on CBS’ Sunday Morning show. ‘That’s why I’m living in Bel-Air: Two finger snaps and you live in Bel-Air.’

A snap of inspiration:

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Stephen Gately In Gay ‘Blackmail’ Plot And ‘Third Man’ Flees

STEPHEN Gately Watch:  the former Boyzone singer is fondly remembered by The Sun.

In 1999 Stephen showed huge courage in coming out as gay. He endured a homophobic backlash for the rest of his short life – The Sun

No kidding. The Sun has more to say on Stephen Gately, who was, in case you missed it, gay. As The Sun wrote in 2008:

IT seems like only yesteryear when boybands were ordered not to have girlfriends and coerced into hiding homosexuality so they could sell more records.

But things have changed. And they have changed thanks in part to The Sun:

Stephen, who just a week ago attended a London awards bash before singing at a cabaret night in Soho, shocked the showbiz world in 1999 when he was the first boyband star to bravely come out as gay. He took the decision to “out” himself in The Sun in June of that year.

The Sun headline was “Stephen: ‘I’m gay and I’m in love’”.

Thanks to Anorak reader Karen we are offered a reason as to why Gately chose to come out in The Sun:

In a May 31, 1999 article entitled: “MY SON WAS BULLIED INTO ADMITTING HE IS GAY; Mum blast The Sun over ‘blackmail’”, Stephen Gateley’s mum Margaret offered her version of events:

Cleaning lady Margaret Gately hit out at what she called “blackmail” by The Sun – who persuaded Stephen to admit his secret sexuality by saying a member of the band’s roadcrew had approached them to sell the story…

Stephen wasn’t ashamed about his sexuality – but he never wanted people to know about it.

“Because it was always his own business, and that is the way it should be. I think what has happened is blackmail. I always thought my children should never be pressurised. “But Stephen has been bullied into doing this.”

Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Lindsay Lohan Dies In 2010: In Pictures

THE National Enquirer reports that Lindsay Lohan has “ONE YEAR TO LIVE”.

And then, decades to pop up on daytime telly shows to talk about what she used to get up when she felt so alive?

Well, no. The NE says Lohan will die in 2010. It’s not an altogether exact medical report, and only gets looser when we read that she might die.

Although the NE does have form as a ghoulish organ of record, correctly predicting Michael Jackson death. This week it also predicts that “ailing” Liz Taylor is “weeks from DEATH!” hwo many weeks, we do not know, but the guess is anything from 10 to 30,000.

Lohan’s death is also the opinion of a single unnamed “source”. And we should get second opinions from Messers Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax, Ativan, Valium, Adderall and all the other guys on the Serbian soft ball team who think Lindsay is “ace”, and are all namechecked in the article.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comment (1)

Hello Magazine Tuesday: Prince Harry And Chelsy Get Intimate

IN this week’s Hello! magazine, we go on an intimate dinner with Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy, Myleene Klass introduces Baby K and at home with billionaire John Caudwell…

IN a “ROYAL EXCLUSIVE” – Hello! magazine will tell readers “HOW ROMANTIC PRINCE HARRY WON HIS CHELSY BACK”.

At a push, we’d say Harry won her in a tombola, first prize being a year’s supply of Flaming Lobes at the Boujis nightspot.

It turns out that Harry wooed fair-to-platinum maiden with an “intimate dinner for two”. Just Hal, Chels, three waiters, a wine waiter, 5 security guards and a chauffeur waiting for a doggy bag.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Hello!, Key Posts | Comment

X Factor Loser Diana Vickers Is Ready For Her Close Up

THE Lancashire Telegraph’s Nafeesa Shan is at the Vaudeville Theatre to see local girl Diana Vickers – the X Factor agonist – take on the role of Little Voice.

With her fresh-faced beauty and amazing singing style, East Lancashire’s former X-Factor star is proving to be a hit in her acting debut in Little Voice, at the Vaudeville Theatre.

Leading to the Daily Mail’s:

What a spot of bother! Diana Vickers suffers from a bad skin day during her West End debut

All depends on how close you are to the action… Pass the sour lemons.

All the pictures from the show here…

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

X Factor Cheryl Cole’s Kinky Lap Dance Sing-Along

CHERYL Cole’s “Kinky Sex Factor” occupies the Daily Star’s front page.

Having done a passable impression of a wind-up tin lap dancer as she lip-synched her new song on a singing contest, Our Cheryl is now embroiled in a tale of perverted sex.

“Star’s sauce lap-dance secret is out.”

X FACTOR judge Cheryl Cole was accused of double standards last night after blasting Kandy Rain for flashing the flesh and then doing it herself. The Girls Aloud babe, 26, even wore a similar revealing black top as band member Coco Lloyd, whom she had slated.

Hold on a moment. Cheryl is no lap dancer–cum-singer. Our Cheryl is a toilet-attendant-assaulter-cum-lip-syncologist. If you are going to criticise a national treasure, get it right.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Katie Price Makes Illegal Sex Joke On Graham Norton Show

KATIE Price has “sparked fury” by claiming The Graham Norton Show that her ex-husband Peter Andre has been sleeping with his manager, Claire Powell.

For those of you not in the know. Powell is the Fern Britton look-alike who pops up on Peter Andre’s TV show to fill the gaps between Pete looking sentimental and asking for his children to kiss him to talk about Katie Price.

The Star calls his comment “outrageous”. It screams:

JORDAN: ‘PETER IS BEDDING HIS AGENT’

It reports:

She joked with the TV chat show host, 46, that men were “lazy” and would “sleep with the first women they see”, then added: “Yes, or his manager Claire.”

Anorak

Posted: 19th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa Comes To Manchester

HERE’S a picture of Coronation Street’s neon-tanned Michelle Keegan recreated as Leonardo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. If you read The Da Vinci Code closely, is says that “a woman on the street is the direct descendent of Emily Bishop” who was secretly married to Ken of Baldwin.

Also, the original Mona Lisa (32DD) was already painted a pinky white, but had to be darkened when she returned from a session at the ochre-ologist.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Cheryl Cole’s X Factor Lap Dance Undoes Whitney Houston’s Dress

HURRAH for the X Factor’s Cheryl Cole, whose singing over a backing tape of her, er, singing was a sensation on the show that still presents itself as a singing contest.

“It’s the “X Factor Babe’s Triumph”, screams the Daily Star’s front page. “CHERYL STEALS THE SHOW”. Cheryl has the “THE SEX FACTOR” (Mail) and the “WOW Factor” (Mirror) as she performs in an outfit from Kandy Rain’s bottomless draw.

Also singing on the X Factor was Whitney Houston, dressed in an elegant long gown. The Sun says she suffered an “embarrassing wardrobe malfunction with her frock”:

The six-time Grammy winner, backed by a troupe of male dancers, pulled a face when she realised the [dress] strap was sticking out.

Someone should have told Houston that you don’t need a wardrobe malfunction to be British pop star, you just need to come on stage dressed as a lap dancer and get mum, dad and the kids to clap along.

Get this from the Mail:

She was dreading performing on the same night as music legend Whitney Houston, but at least Cheryl Cole managed to keep her clothes on.

Cheryl had less clothes to keep on. But, of course, the difference is that while Cheryl Cole is declared a national treasure (did you vote on that decision?), Whitney Houston is a woman with a past. The Sun explains:

Judges Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue gave her a standing ovation when she finished – but Sun readers phoned in to call the performance “appalling”… And when Dermot asked Whitney about the standard of this year’s X Factor contestants she paused for several seconds, before saying: “They are young. They have room to grow. Practice, practice, practice.”

She paused because a) she was thinking of something positive to say about a gaggle of end-of the-pier acts (the pier at Weston –Super-Mare); or b) “Whitney admitted to US talk show host Oprah Winfrey last month that she used to smoke marijuana and crack cocaine. She got clean of drugs after going to rehab”?

Cole got clean from assaulting a toilet attendant. And she never paused because she’s got a backing tape.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)