Now You Can Buy The David Beckham Condom

DAVID Beckham’s sleepy face is to feature on condom packets on sale Madrid’s Thyssen-Bornemisza museum shop.

It’s not a tacky stunt – it’s art, possibly modern art. It’s also a chance to look at Day-vid while you blow up two johnnies and tie them to a broom handle version of Her Poshness.

All condom packet designs are taken from the gallery’s Tears of Eros exhibition later this month, a name that sounds like a euphemism or the name of a Zurich swingers club.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

What We Know About Stephanie Birkitt, David Letterman’s Former Lover

THE, alleged, David Letterman extortion plot focuses on Robert Halderman, who works on the true-life crime show 48 Hours – he claims to be not guilty of trying to extort £1.2million from Letterman over the TV hosts alleged affairs with members of his staff.

And it also shines a light on Stephanie Birkitt, a woman widely named as a Letterman conquest – she called the TV presenter as “the greatest boss I could ever have”.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Roger Simon And Lionel Chetwynd On Roman Polanski’s Nomenklatura

ROMAN Polanski views keep coming.  It’s not rape – it’s the casting couch, dummy. Or the casting bunk beds:

Hollywood’s Lame Defense of Roman Polanski.

Roger Simon and Lionel Chetwynd tells us.

“They’re defending their own potential exposure for future behavior. They want to protect the nomenklatura.”

Read on…

Via Instapundit

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Katie Price Stars On Loose Women

KATIE Price is the real star of Loose Women, the ITV lunch-and-spite fest:

In the Telegraph, Gail Hornby is making links:

Caution: women on the loose – Loose Women, like New Labour, has been running long enough, says Gill Hornby.

When New Labour dies hacks will try to look at things that typified the era. For Gail Hornby it’s four gargoyle-like women nattering as if they’re on a train, each speaking down their mobile phones to a man on anti-depressants:

Helpless with laughter, whooping, screeching, tissues at the ready for the tears of uncontainable mirth, they can find a dirty, sexist, demeaning turn in anything. Breakfast: “Can you get through the day without something inside you?” Shrieeeek! A vibrating Power Plate exercise machine: “It might not keep you fit, but it puts a smile on your face!” Hahahahah! Untidy husbands: “Every so often, I have to take him in hand.” Whoo!

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Matt LeBlanc Stars In BBC Friends Spin Off

HAVING earlier showcased Move Like Michael Jackson – a BBC3 show in which Jermaine Jackson will find someone who can move like his dead brother – my money’s on Kate Garraway – the BBC is now breathing life into the dead career of the man who will be forever known as “Former Friends star Matt LeBlanc”.

Le Blanc is to appear in a new BBC comedy show which tells the story of a British couple trying to recreate their hit UK show for American TV.  It’s another telly show about the telly.

And this means LeBlanc gets to play himself. Says he:

“I am so glad I got the part, seeing someone else playing Matt LeBlanc would have been devastating.”

The Fonz must be kicking himself.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (8)

Michael Jackson’s Tattooed Hair Pictures

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s look at Jacko in the news – Jackson’s tattooed hair, tattoed lips, Joe Jackson barred from Oktoberfest and Jermaine Jackson watches his brother dance…

Jackson was well before he died – well, not immediately before he died, when he was unwell.  But some time before he died he was well.

I Told You I Was Ill

Michael Jackson Autopsy Shows Singer Was ‘Fairly Healthy‘ When He Died – Entertainment Wise

The singer’s arms were covered with puncture marks and his face and were neck scarred, but a coroner’s report confirms that he was in ‘fine health‘ before his sudden death – The Guardian

Report: Jacko In ‘Good Health‘ Before Overdose- Sky

MICHAEL JACKSON – MICHAEL JACKSON WAS HEALTHY BEFORE DEATH – Contact Music

While we await a fifth opinion, want to see Michael Jackson’s “bizarre tattoos”?

Michael Jackson’s arms were covered with puncture marks, his face and neck were scarred by plastic surgery and he had a bald spot covered by a tattoo, as well as tattooed eyebrows and lips, an autopsy into his death has revealed – Telegraph

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Kanye West Meme: Why West Cancelled North Amercian Tour

A North American tour by Kanye West has been cancelled just weeks after he was criticised for storming on stage at an awards ceremony.

Want to know why he quit? Find out here:

The Kanye West Meme Gallery (Updated)

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Before The Sarah Silverman Sex Tape, A Look At David Letterman’s Extortion

DAVID Letterman has moved on from fantasizing about Sarah Palin’s underage daughter being raped to a story of his alleged dalliances with members of his staff. Says our man in LA:

First Conan O’Brien winds up hospitalized with a concussion after hitting his head during a silly stunt on his show, then comes word that someone’s about to release a sex tape that Jimmy Kimmel made with Sarah Silverman, and now David Letterman says his sexual affairs with members of his staff led to an extortion attempt. Not a good week for the white guys of late night television.

We’d guess Jay Leno is sitting pretty right about now.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Pictures Prove David Beckham Is Morphing Into Victoria

VICTORIA and David Beckham attend the launch of Adidas Originals by Originals Line, Los Angeles.

You know how it is, ladies – you get dressed up and he wears a tracksuit.

But look again. The gritted Pekingese pout. The ‘They-only-stare-because-I’m-interesting’ pout. The “I-don’t-ask-to-be-photographed–it’s-the-media” look.

Is Day-vid morphing into his wife?

Pictures:

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Layman’s Guide To Money

THURSDAY is GOOP day, the communique from Gwyneth Paltrow’s blog on how to live life your life as well as Gwyneth Paltrow lives hers.

You may suppose that to live like Gwyneth Paltrow, you need to earn like Gwyneth Paltrow. And you’d be right. But now Gwyneth has heard the clamour, spotted the lack of economic experience in the world just now, and duly delivered her guide to money.

With Gwyneth’s advice you too can afford an Hermes Womens Cape Cod Watch ($1,850).

Here’s a collection of thoughts on the topic of investing from two bankers, a money coach and an accountant. Some illuminating concepts, histories and practical advice for the layman in these uncertain times.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Rihanna Raids Jodie Marsh’s Wardrobe

AFTER the fake Rihanna sex tape and the fake (?) Rihanna self-nudes, the singer steps out in an outfit that shows off her primary sexual characteristics.

If only Jodie Marsh could sing…

D-listed has more…

Oh, Rihanna, always the dirty pictures…

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price And Peter Andre Write Christmas Books

KATIE Price and Peter Andre are planning to set the record straight about their divorce by each writing a book.

Katie and Peter will vie to be the nation’s sweetheart, a title which Anorak believes is currently held by Danielle Lloyd.

When Katie Twittered “I am keeping a dignified silence“, we were crestfallen. But we have been patient and now at last after a deafening silence Katie will summon her ghost writer and tell instruct him: “Whryt.”

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Shiney Ahuja Gets Bail In Light Of Polanski Rape Case

BOLLYWOOD actor Shiney Ahuja has been bailed. Ahuja is accused of raping his maid in Mumbai.

In custody since mid-June. Ahuja denies charges of rape, criminal intimidation and wrongful confinement.

Anorak suggests that in his defence he mentions that he watched The Pianist and found it challenging, and that had it not been for Roman Polanski he never would have been able to move his shoulders up and down to a syncopated back story…

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Peter Doherty In Court, Pictures

PETER Doherty. Calling Pete Doherty. Pete’s tour of British courtrooms continues today as the Babyshambles singer appears at Gloucester Crown Court today for a plea hearing.

Doherty arrives with a female companion and signs autographs for members of the public and the Celebrity Police Force, for whom he acts as patron and the celeb of last resort if an arrest needs to be made.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Jon Gosselin Makes His Own Millions Of Milkshakes

JON Gosselin, star of US reality TV show Jon and Kate Plus 8, is heading to California. Anorak’s Man on the scene picks up on the fervour:

Jon Gosselin’s been making headlines lately with his solemn promises of better behavior and a lower-key personal life. That apparently includes a trip to West Hollywood, California, and Famewhore hangout Millions of Milkshakes…

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Rumours Of Barry Manilow’s Death Unfounded

BARRY Manilow is alive and well. Anorak’s Man In Las Vegas brings news:

Barry Manilow announced today he’s quitting his long-time engagement at the Las Vegas Hilton, two days after he sent a memo to his fan club saying he’s not sick (just a “skinny guy” who’s “filled with energy” and still has his hair) and a day after he launched a subscription website to show archival footage of his past concerts.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

La Toya Jackson Says Beatles Fans Murdered Michael Jackson

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Today we hear from Paris Jackson about the man many believe to have been her dad. And we hear from Officer La Toya Jackson who says deep Jacko feared being murdered for his Beatles catalogue…

Daily Mirror: “Paris Jackson on her dad Jacko’s death.”

Paris Jackson blames gig chiefs for dad Michael’s death

Pictured alongside Officer Michael Jackson and The Woman In Black that is Janet Jackson, Paris with eyes turned skywards tells us:

Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris believes gig bosses worked her father into an early grave. Paris, 11, has told her aunt La Toya that her dad buckled under the strain of preparing for his huge 50-show This Is It tour.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)

La Toya Jackson’s Dead Raven Presents The Mobo Awards 2009

OFFICER La Toya Jackson arrives at the Mobo Wards 2009 wih her hand under attack from her a pet raven…

It being what Michael would have wanted.

All the pictures here – wear sunglasses…

Anorak

Posted: 30th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

All The Opinions On Roman Polanski’s Rape

ROMAN Polanski is in the dock. How does he plead. His supporters shout: “The Pianist”. His enemies shout “Rapist”. But is 30 years in France enough punishment? Let’s see:

The Big News

The French government has dropped its public support for Roman Polanski, saying the 76-year-old director “is neither above nor beneath the law” – BBC

Anorak

Posted: 30th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Martine McCutcheon’s The Mistress Shames Parodists

FORMER EastEnders actress Martine McCutcheon’s debut novel The Mistress is a work of parody that should make the nation’s satirists hang their heads in envy and snap their pencils in two.

For reasons based in pride and a desire to showcase McCutcheon’s enviable talents, the publishers, Pan Macmillan, have published the book’s first chapter on the web:

Mandy loved her home in the basement of a grand stucco property in Queensgate, South Kensington. As she walked into the entrance she checked herself out in the mirror. She felt good, more confident than she had expected to at this turning point in her life. She reached for her lip brush and added one final coat of luscious gloss. She cleaned any remaining stains off her teeth with her tongue and smiled at herself in the mirror. Her hair was dark as ebony and it fell in shiny waves over her shoulders; her skin was flawless, even and gleaming, her long dark lashes framing her beautiful big brown eyes perfectly. Her lower lip was fuller than the top and when she smiled she lit up the room. She grabbed her keys and her clutch bag and quickly squirted some perfume.

And not just any perfume. Martine’s heroine – can you guess who she’s modelled on? – is less a work of fiction than women in search of a brand:

She grabbed her slightly sodden copy of Grazia again and headed out of her heavy black door, pulling it shut by its knocker.

Knocker?

‘Ready, darlin’?’ said the cabby with a twinkle in his eye – he clearly found Mandy attractive.

The cabbie:

He was a sweet, cheeky chappie in his thirties with cute dimples – a typical black-cab driver in his Ralph Lauren jumper with polo-shirt collar poking up from underneath.

Not ‘alf bad, Mandy. But not as attractive as attractive Mandy finds attractive London, attractively:

God, she loved London. Even in the rain, she found it romantic. As they drove past the Natural History Museum, Harrods and one of her favourite hotels, the Lanesborough at Hyde Park Corner, the old streetlights glowed a deep orange and fairy lights twinkled in the trees, building up the momentum for Christmas… London was such a fast place, full of different nationalities, different religions. On a bad day it could feel suffocating, but generally it felt to Mandy like the most exhilarating city in the world, with the speed of New York but the history of a Paris or a Rome. If you went for it, truly went for it, you could get the life you wanted here, and that was Mandy’s aim – to have it all. And why not? She’d read a greeting on a card once in Paperchase on the King’s Road that had truly stuck with her:

Reach for the moon, and even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.

She loved it and used it as a mental pick-me-up whenever she felt low.

And that’s just the opening to the first chapter. If anyone would like us to get a copy of the book and appraise in full – chapter by chapter – do let us know.
Martine McCutcheon’s Diary Of A Mandy is available for your enjoyment…

Spotter: Marina Hyde

Anorak

Posted: 30th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (15)

The Real Reason Peter Andre And Katie Price Split

IN “LOVESICK JORDAN’S SHRINE TO PETE”, the Daily Star says:

OBSESSED Kate Price has created a bizarre love shrine to ex-husband Peter Andre in their former marital home. The tormented glamour girl has surrounded herself with dozens of images and statues of Pete – even in her bedroom.

Haven’t we all? Asda is selling the Peter Andre Kit & Canoodle, a fluffy orange-hued night light that says “Shucks” when you look at it and blushes a deep, reassuring tangerine.

The source goes on:

And Kate, 31, has ignored new lover Alex Reid’s desperate calls to remove them. “Alex is not happy about it all – what man would like the ex staring at them in bed?’ It’s pretty weird but she tells him that the kids still need to see their dad’s face around the house.”

She could always buy a few copies of OK! and replace Princess Timiminiiii’s comics with Now magazine, in which Pete writes a column?

The news comes as it was revealed Kate has been bombarding Peter with pleas for a reunion.

Does anyone else imagine that when the divorce story has petered out, and Pete has petered out to fame’s bargain bucket and Katie realises she’s dating a Dean Gaffney look-alike, Peter and Katie will reunite?

But she has calmed cagefighter Alex, 34, by framing a huge photo of his bloody and battered face after his fight last week. The picture, engraved with the word “Champ”, has been given pride of place in the lounge.

There, that should cheer up the kidzz. The source goes on:

“It’s a bit weird. She says she hates Peter, but there are photos everywhere. She has kept a select few up and the clock they had made with their faces on is still hanging above the door in the kitchen. She has these busts of their faces and their names engraved on them hanging around the house and also has a photo next to the bed.”

Katie has a bust of her face? The woman is obsessed with breasts.

As Dwight Yorke, former Katie Price squeezer, writes in his book of the Andre-Price home:

“They’d turned it into a shrine to their own vanity. How many pictures of yourselves is it possible to put up on the walls?”

Might his be why the couple split – a lack of wall space? We had thought they ran out of sexual positions.

To China, with posters…

Anorak

Posted: 30th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Greg Lott’s Farrah Fawcett Love Story

FARRAH Fawcett has died, and with her passing came news of her romance with a Greg Lott.

Writes Our Man in LA: The tabloids know a good love story when they see one. Thanks in great part to publications like OK! magazine’s international editions (in this case, Mexico), Greg Lott’s secret autumn romance with college sweetheart Farrah Fawcett is getting as much play as Ryan O’Neal’s real-life version of his movie from 1970.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, September 2009 | In: OK! | Comment

Woody Allen Comes Out In Support Of Roman Polanski, Jeremy Kyle Waits

WOODY Allen has signed a petition calling for Roman Polanski’s release from Switzerland.

Top US directors Woody Allen, David Lynch and Martin Scorsese have signed a petition protesting the detention of Roman Polanski in Switzerland, a French film industry association, SACD, said.

In 1997, Allen married Soon-Yi Previn. Korean-born Soon-Yi was adopted at age eight by Mia Farrow and Andre Previn. A couple of years later, Woody and Mia began a relationship that lasted more than a decade. Then Farrow found naked pictures of 21-year-old Previn in Allen’s apartment in 1991.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Victoria Beckham Just Needs The Food Of Love

IT’S walking magazine insert Victoria Beckham on the cover of Closer, Her Thinness advertising the news: “MISERY DRIVES POSH TOWARDS ANOREXIA.”

Misery is not Posh’s new lead sedan chair operative, and Anorexia is not the hottest-most club in Milan. Closer explains:

“So insecure she starves herself until she’s dizzy and weak.”

“Expert warns: ‘She could end up dead.”

Dealing with each point in turn, isn’t dizzy and weak how WAGs are supposed to be? And this expert should know that celebrities never die, they just perform to a captive audience.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)

Michael Jackson Watch: Janet Jackson Wears Black For a Year

MICHAEL JACKSON Watch: As a mark of deep respect to her bother – he died, you know – Janet Jackson will wear black for a year to mourn the King Of Propofol, formerly King of Pop.

A source tell the Sun:

“Janet, like the rest of the Jackson family, has been left bereft by Michael’s passing. She felt a particular bond to her brother and has been distraught since his death. As a mark of respect she has decided to only wear black clothes to express her grief, and she has had to go on a number of shopping trips to find suitable items to wear.

“She has resolved to mourn Michael’s death for 12 months, and in June next year – on the anniversary of Michael’s passing – her time of reflection will come to an end.”

Michael just loved black. Just loved it. He famously tried to turn his skin black but over the years the repeated costume changes and bathing lessened the effect.

Meanwhile, Jackson’s other sister, Officer La Toya Jackson, says Michael is talking to her from beyond the grave. So, La Toya, has she told you killed him yet?

“All of a sudden I said, ‘Michael are you there?’ and the light started blinking,” she said.

“I love it. I really love it. It doesn’t happen everytime I ask but it happened one time and then another when someone else was there with me.

“It’s absolutely right there are times you can feel a person’s presence” – EntertainmentWise

R. Kelly tells Black Voices that he is record and release songs he worked on with Jackson, it being what Jackson would have wanted:

“We’re going to get it out,” said Kelly. “Michael liked the way I would try to sing the songs just like him. I recorded five joints for [Jackson].”

Look out for other Jackson collaborations with Tupac, Frank Sinatra and anyone else in need of a hit – Examiner

Jackson is the no.1 choice for Halloween parties. No, need to dress up in Thriller costume, kids, just ago as the actual Jackson. Boo! – InEntertainment

Ever wonder what happened to ex-Busted member James Bourne? No, we neither. But he has been busy, queuing for 50 hours to buy premier tickets for Michael Jackson’s This Is It. At the Staples Centre, Bourne Twitters:
“Been waiting 50 hours for This Is It premiere tickets.” – Digital Spy

I was there. But was I?

Anorak

Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment