Patrick Swayze Is Not Dead, Timeline Of A Star’s Death

PATRICK Swayze has died. No news of his death in today’s papers.

“Someone shouts out, ‘Patrick Swayze is dead!’ and you’re thrown into action straight away,” says Ciara Hunt, Hello! Canada’s editor-in-chief.

In May this year, news of Swayze’s death was followed by a picture of him sat beside his wife Lisa Niemi in a buccolic setting. In March 2008, the National Enquirer gace Swayze five weeks to live.

Such is the drive to screm “First” when a star dies that OK! didn’t let the fact that Jade Goody was still breathing to announce the death, and TMZ just gave an educated guess at Michael Jackson’s state of being, and got lucky.

In May 2009, Swayze died on a Miami radio station.

Entertainment Tonight Canada’s senior executive producer Tamara Simoneau, what people write on their blogs and Twitter accounts is not by any means journalism: “Twitter is the technological rumour mill. It’s a great way for getting our anchors in touch with their audience, but I wouldn’t believe a story that I read on a blog.”

So is Patrick Swayze dead?

“Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months,” said a statement by his publicists Annett Wolf.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Sylvester Stallone Kills Madame Tussaud’s

SYLVESTER Stallone’s face, and plastic surgeons, are doing for Madame Tussaud’s what Twitter has begun doing to the PR business: replacing it.

Anorak was at the ‘Jaeger-LeCoultre Glory To The Filmmaker Award’ photocall at the Palazzo del Casino during the 66th Venice Film Festival in Venice, Italy.

Our snapper turned down her flasbulb to ‘X-Ray’ for fear that one more candle of power would melt Sly’s face.

Michael K asks: “Who wouldn’t want to look like a fully-embalmed Michael Meyers?”

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (10)

Elton John Cannot Adopt Lev, Says Ukraine

SIR Elton John has been told that he cannot adopt a 14-month-old boy called Lev because he is not married and is too old.

The Ukraine is twinned with California – gay marriage counts for nothing. Ukraine’s Minister for Family And Sport says John cannot have the boy.

Yes, Family & Sport. They bring them up tough in the Ukraine – if you can marry her, or shoot her and stick her stuffed head on your caravan wall.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Michael Jackson’s Cured Cancer, Says Speech Debelle

SPEECH Debelle has won the Mercury Music Prize, and with the glory comes an increased risk that her music will be called “important” by someone wearing a post-modern fringe and the star will start talking in the knowledge that more than the pigeons and the sound engineer are listening to her.

Speech Debelle is speaking:

“Jesus went around preaching the gospel and touching people to make the blind see and making lepers better. Michael Jackson’s gone around the world and done that … apparently, I don’t know if this is true, there were kids around him who had cancer that didn’t have cancer any more.”

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

You’ll Believe Susan Boyle Can Fly

SUSAN Boyle is in the US of A and living the lifelong dream of sitting on a dwarf plastic elephant and not being able to fly it.

(Why do the horses have such long noses? Why, Simon? Why?)

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)

Katherine Jackson Dazzles At MTV Video Music Awards

KATHERINE Jackson is getting on but she needs to look after herself if she’s going to keep up with Paris Jackson and the rest of her Jackson Three.

So congratulations on her new look as she steps out with husband Joe Jackson at the MTV Video awards.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Heidi Montag Introduces Reactions To Kanye West, In Pictures

KANYE West advertises the MTV Awards AGM by upstaging Taylor Swift and the media, the web, vested-interest groups and celebs get to work. The making of a media shitstorm, features Heidi Montag, Pink. the Daily Telegrpah, Eammanuel Adebyaor, Barack Obama and lots of LOL …

1: The spoof video mash up

2. The celebs muscle in on the PR War

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Katie Price Meets Jermaine Jackson, Peter Andre Opens Up a Virgin

SO what’s Katie Price been up since she was on I’m A Celebrity Me Out Of Here? You can find out as Katie Price speaks to Live From Studio Five, the Channel shout-a-thon presented by former footballer Ian Wright, model Melinda Messenger and Apprentice runner-up Kate Walsh.

Also on the show is Michael Jackson’s brother Jermaine, who has also been notably quiet since appearing on Celebrity Big Brother and California raisins stopped using his hair in their adverts.

Jermaine says that he never saw Michael Jackson “act in any way that was out of the ordinary“.

… for Michael Jackson?

In other news Peter Andre has been in London opening a Virgin – a Virgin Media store at the sprawling Westfield mall. Tsk!

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Michael Jackson This Is It Film Trailer

MICHAEL Jackson has died. Perfect time then to relase the trailer for his Thsi Is It concerts, which are now a film of the concerts that never were.

It’s billed as – get this:

THE EVENT OF A LIFETIME

Showbiz is always looking for a new thing and this might be it: the director’s cut for the show that never gets made. It’s a behind-the-scenes look at nothing.

Nothing is the new entertainment. It’s a sensation!

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Exclusive: Farrah Fawcett’s Co-Producer Craig Nevius Reacts To Emmy Loss

FARRAH Fawcett’s producing partner Craig Nevius talks to Anorak’s Man in LA about mising out on an Emmy:

If only to recognize Farrah Fawcett for her contribution to television culture and American history, it would have been nice to see the disputed NBC special, Farrah’s Story, win the Emmy for Outstanding Nonfiction Special at last night’s creative arts awards ceremony.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kanye West’s Pro-Beyonce Anti-Taylor Swift MTV Stunt In Pictures

KANYE West is interrupting Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech of singer at the MTV Video Music Awards, New York.

West, whose agape mouth give him the look of a Pekingese eyeing a shoehorn, tells the audience Beyonce should have been won the best female video prize.

“Taylor, I’m really happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce  had one of the best videos of all time.”

I. I.

On Kanye West’s blog apology:

I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.

Kanye West writes ‘I’ so much he just leaves the caps lock on and waits for an opening.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Michael Jackson’s Secret Sister JohVonnie Tells All

IN “MY PAIN BY JACKO’S SECRET LOVER” Daily Mirror readers meet Michael Jackson’s “secret sister” JohVonnie, who “reveals her pain at being shunned by half-siblings”.

It’s “Sad Jo”:

Michael Jackson’s secret sister today tells of her heartache at being shunned by her famous family for 35 years. JohVonnie Jackson, whose mum was a lover of Jacko’s dad Joe, is close to her father and amazingly gets on with family matriarch Katherine.

Shunned has become something else, and then we get:

“None of my other siblings acknowledged me much.”

So, perhaps, not shunned, just not fully embraced? By the time the article finishes, Johvonnie could be sat in a hot tub at the Jackson compound, braiding Paris Jackson’s and signing official merchandise.

But almost all JohVonnie’s well-known brothers and sisters treat her as an outcast… La Toya would ignore her in shops.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Susan Boyle’s Wild Horses Is No. 1 Pick At Funerals

SUSAN Boyle is back. With the recession cured, Susan is her to make the world a better place. Susan Boyle, the most famous woman on planet Earth, the woman who drove Michael Jackson to drugs, is to release her debut single, a cover version of the Rolling Stones classic, Wild Horses, Wild Hair.

Dressed like the Pope, Susan Boyle touches down in Los Angeles, her city, her people, her angels.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Kerry Katona Locked In Attic With a Royal Marine And A Hot Tub, Charlotte Church in Iceland

CHARLOTTE Church is the news face and chest freezer of Iceland, replacing Kerry Katona as the personality behind own-brand ketchup.

The People tells readers:

Charlotte and her rugby star boyfriend Gavin Henson, 28, have been dubbed the Posh and Becks of Wales.

Does Wales need its own Posh and Becks? Did anyone ask the locals?

She has gone from a size 16 to a 12 after giving birth to son Dexter, now seven months.

A size 10, actually. Closer magazine has the facts. Or a 12. Because OK! magazine has the, er, facts.

Disgraced Kerry, known for her slogan “Mum’s gone to Iceland”, lost a £290,000-a-year contract with the firm.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Brad Pitt And Jennifer Aniston Set Up Home

PAVLOV’S Rule of Tabloid Journalism states that every time Jennifer Aniston is mentioned so too must be Angelina Jolie and by definition Brad Pitt. So when Grazia magazine uses its front page to announce the question (can you announce a question?): “Jen has boob job?” a little squeaky voice pops up to add “BRAD And ANGELINA’S MAKE-OR-BREAK TRIP.”

First up we are invited to look at Jennifer’ Aniston’s chest and check it for signs of hair, boyfriends and growth. We see none, although in one picture Jen is wearing a tighter top than in the other, so Grazia senses a scandal.

Which leads readers to Ange and Brad who are on a “make-or-break-trip” to a… garden centre.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Michael Jackson Wanted To Be A Magnet And Live In Shropshire

MICHAEL Jackson Tribute Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news: Jackson last wish was to be a magnet and settle in Shropshire.

ANYONE want to knows what Michael Jackson’s “LAST WISH” was?

The NoTW says “secret notes” have been found in the star’s home.

MYSTERIOUS messages written by Michael Jackson in his final hours – revealed today for the first time – show the singer’s bizarre state of mind before his drug addiction killed him.

Because when a man is off his faces on drugs and on the brink of death what he says can be taken as gospel?

The notes, written on Post It paper and stuck to a mirror at Chez Jacko. The notes that might have been written by Jackson, or not, with Tabloid Translator:

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)

Liz Hurley Is Raisin Her Organic Low-Fat Pigs

ELIZABETH Elizabeth Hurley is promoting her new organic range of food, including pork sausages. That’s her with her husband Arun Nayar and son Damian (cue music) promoting her organic food range, Elizabeth Hurley Foods, on a stall at Cirencester Farmers Market.

Now you too can eat like Liz Hurley:

She once confessed to eating just one full meal a day and snacking on six raisins, while watercress soup is a staple of her diet.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Freddie Windsor Marries Sophie Winkleman, Not In OK!

FREDDIE Windsor has marries Sophie Winkleman, and anorak was there to see the do and the bridesmaids:

Matilda Thykier, daughter of Claudia Winkleman; Lady Helen and Tim Taylor’s daughter Eloise; Ben and Kate Goldsmith’s daughter Iris; Tatiana Szapary, Count and Countess Peter Szapary’s daughter; Dominic and Shoonagh Hubble’s daughter Matilda Hubble; and India, the daughter of Nicholas and Stephanie Balfour.

What you won’t read in OK!:

Lord Freddie Windsor married his actress fiancée yesterday after striking a blow for his family’s honour by turning down offers of £600,000 from celebrity magazines who wanted to buy the rights to the wedding.

Boo. Who?

The new Mrs Windsor said the hour-long service in the Chapel Royal, had been emotional and added: “I wept throughout the whole thing.”

Notes for editors: That’s “Thickier” with a “y” and Spazzy with an “Sp”.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Bianca Gascoigne In Thigh Boots, Sun Sets On Mars

EARLIER this week, Anorak’s woman in a smock went to the Comfort Prima High Street Fashion Awards at the Battersea Evolution in London. Some of the leading names in ligging were there: Jo Wood, Nicola McLean, Brendan Cole, Lulu and Suranne Jones.

The evening celebrated natural beauty…

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Chris de Burgh’s Red Mist Over Irish Times Concert Review

CHRIS de Burgh, has followed the work of Alain de Botton by responding to an unfavourable review in print.

De Botton’s words followed a poor review of de Botton’s book The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work, by Caleb Crain in The New York Times. He wrote thus:

“I will hate you till the day I die and wish you nothing but ill will in every career move you make. I will be watching with interest and schadenfreude.”

Perhaps if De Botton’s work were as interesting as his missives it’d be a hit? No another ‘De’ is at, as Chris de Burgh, a man who rhymed “dance” with “romance” and “chance” reacts to Peter Crawley’s review of one of his concerts in the Irish Times.

“A small man appears in suit trousers and a white shirt, giving a little wave, like a businessman happy to have finished a long day of conference calls.”

Dear Mr Crawley,

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Mischa Barton Suffers From A ‘Dry Socket’

TIRED and emotional star Mischa Barton has blamed her summer slurring and hospitalisation in a psychiatric ward on her wisdom teeth, or more specifically, her lack of them.

Mischa calls it a “perfect storm”, picking up on a phrase that has gathered momentum in recent times:

A perfect storm can be used to describe anything: breathing; sports; women; apocalypse; traffic but not weather:

Meteorologists Say ‘Perfect Storm’ Not So Perfect

Barton goes on:

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Farrah Fawcett Wins First Emmy

FARRAH Fawcett has died, but in TV-land she lives on, and is tipped to win an Emmy for her celebrity cancer show. Anorak’s Man in LA looks at developing storm:

Farrah Fawcett may finally win an Emmy on Saturday night, an award that’s eluded her in three previous nominations in as many decades (The Burning Bed, Small Sacrifices & The Guardian). Should she win posthumously for the controversial Farrah’s Story, the statuette won’t be for her acting, but for her role as executive producer of the documentary she made chronicling her fight with cancer.

Meanwhile, Craig Nevius, Farrah’s fellow producing nominee, is only beginning his own fight: a legal war with Ryan O’Neal over who has the right to tell Farrah’s real story.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Victoria Beckham’s Ladyboy Look-alike, In Pictures

VICTORIA Beckham wasn’t able to make it to the Fashion Night Out during Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Spring 2010 Collections, held at Bergdorf Goodman in New York City, USA.

So a ladyboy went instead, sportingly.

What’s that? It is Her Poshness?

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Derren Brown Lottery Balls Evokes The Radio Ventriloquist

HOW did Derren Brown pull off his lottery trick in which the illusionist picked the six winning numbers? How did someone performing on that must trusted of media – the telly – pull of a trick? Derren Brown brings back memories of radio ventriloquists who were great exponents of their art until someone filmed them doing it. Hey, Derren, we can see your lips moving.

Paul Daniels told us before the TV trick:

“He could get it exactly right … [but] it is much better for a mentalist if he gets one wrong. It is more believable. I would be very surprised, however, if he gives away a damn good trick but, even if he does, there are another 99 ways to do it.”

Of course there are 99 says of doing it, Paul, because magic is magick and there is no containing it. One viewer observed Brown’s slight of hand:

Between Derren saying “23” & “28”, the left-hand ball moves upwards! (clearly the moment of mixing from split-screen to full-screen again, after correct-numbered balls have been placed).

As Derren jumps around on his half of the screen and distracts you fwom any wobble, the last word is with Paul Daniels:

He said Brown was unlikely to give away his secret and would instead be vague in his explanation, employing “gobbledegooky” and putting the trick down to something like “neuro-linguistic programming”.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Katie Price Spat At And Her Secret Love Texts To Peter Andre

KATIE Price would like to tell Peter Andre something:

“I STILL LOVE YOU PETE“

The Daily Mirror delivers the front-page message. And its one we’ve heard before, specifically in OK! magazine last week:

“Kate I texted me two weeks ago saying she is still in love with me. I’ve not been sending abusive texts. I haven’t responded – I will never go back. Never.”

Now the Mirror has the, er, exclusive:

Jordan begged Peter Andre to forgive her just 2 weeks before divorce. Katie Price sent a series of love texts asking Peter Andre to put aside the hurt and bitterness of their breakup and give her another chance.

With a split looking inevitable, the model known as Jordan sent her ex the late-night messages two weeks before their divorce – and behind lover Alex Reid’s back.

The messages said: “Pete, you were my fairtytale,” and: “I still love you – give us another chance. x.” Another was: “Why can’t it go back to how it used to be – you, me, J, P and H?”

And how did the messages make their way from Dignified Peter Andre’s phone to the Mirror? Were they stolen?

In other Katie Price news, the Star tells us:

JORDAN SPAT AT IN STREET ATTACK

TORMENTED Kate Price is in emotional meltdown after she was abused and spat on in the street. The glamour girl was left traumatised by the confrontation with a middle-aged woman. She is now too terrified to leave the house without her new lover, cage-fighter Alex Reid, at her side.

And fears are…

She has cancelled three jobs in the last week because she is scared to face the public. And sources at her Surrey home say Kate spends most of the day in her bedroom, sparking fears she is battling severe depression.

Or Jordan’s watching telly and taking the children to school as the summer term starts. In other news:

Meanwhile, it emerged yesterday that Peter, 36, will be surrounded by minders on his album tour next week – to protect him from sex- hungry girls.

And to make him look more popular than he is…

Katie Price’s career in pictures

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)