Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Jack Tweed ‘Sex Attack’ Caught On Camera, Jade Goody Returns
HAPPY days at the Jack Tweed Fan Club where their man is no longer Mr Jade Goody. Thanks to an alleged rape Jack Tweed is becoming his own celebrity, as the Daily Star screams from its front page:
“JACK ‘RAPE’ CAUGHT ON FILM”
No mention of Jade. Indeed, Jack Tweed is now so famous that he is simply “JACK”. The news does come equipped with a picture of Jade Goody, aka Mrs Jack Tweed, but the impetus is with Jack.
Anorak had long wondered how the Jade Goody brand would be kept alive? There was talk of Joe Malone embalming fluids and a Big Brother special. But it was all a bit thin. But now thanks to Jack we can look forward a sex tape. Or not:
Jack Tweed’s alleged rape attack could have been caught on a mobile phone camera.
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Posted: 7th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
Katie Price Topples Over, Barry George Lined Up For Alex Reid’s Rape Film
KATIE Price – Peter Andre Divorce: Alex Reid’s disabled rape movie, raped Katie Price’s fight night and stalker Barry George acts up…
Daily Mirror: “Jordan’s lover in new movie shame”
After the rape flick comes a “new movie nightmare” for Jordan’s Robbie Jackson look-alike lover Alex Reid.
Exclusive: New film starring Jordan’s lover Alex Reid features scene where a disabled woman is raped and murdered.
A home movie? A new anti-benefits cheat campaign by the Tories? No. It’s Killer Bitch, the straight-to-Out Patients film starring Alex Reid as Dean Gaffney’s look-alike. The Scene:
Office actress Julie Fernandez is to be dragged out of her wheelchair and assaulted by a character played by former football thug Jason Marriner. The source added: “This set-piece was on the cards from day one. Alex knew about it. It was scripted from the beginning and is one of the most violent pieces in the film, which takes some doing. Quite how Julie’s character is going to be raped and murdered is going to be sorted on the day and depends how far she wants to go.”
Do you see – it was “scripted from the beginning” but the actual scene has yet to be, er, sorted out?
Actress Julie has brittle bone disease, we learn. The guessing is that’s she won’t want to go that far. But the film looks to go further. What it lacks in script, plot, direction and acting talent it makes up for in sensation:
Spokesman Surjit Singh Clair “revealed producers are in talks with misfit Barry George, who was cleared of the murder of TV presenter Jill Dando, over a possible role in the movie.”
Perhaps George could play the film’s viewer peering through the goings on through fingers knitted over his face? Literally…
While Katie Price’s lover stars in dire film, the is more news:
Marie Claire: “Katie Price beaten up by gypsy fighters!”
What?! Is she in the film, and all?
The Straits Times has more:
“Jordan pushed over at fight”
Was she pushed or did she – you know – topple over?
Much to debate. But it’s Metro that best sums up the scene at the aftershow party for the Extreme Brawl event in West London on Saturday.
“Jordan and Reid in ugly cage fight brawl”
Pictures everywhere.Or as the Mirror’s 3am Girls scream:
Jordan snubs her friends for night in with Alex Reid
Such are the facts…
Posted: 7th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Listen To X Factor Judge Cheryl Cole’s New Single
CHERYL Cole’s new single ‘Fight For This Love’ shows that she plans to crack America by singing in an American accent.
X Factor judge Cheryl Cole new song is released on 26 October. and it;s brave move. In May, American Idol judge Paula Abdul appeared on stage and did a mime that required her singing into not one but two microphones.
Cole’s voice sounds as if it has been filtered though Lady Gaga’s Y-fronts, or Auto-Tune.
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Posted: 7th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Farrah Fawcett’s Secret Psychopath Sex Letters
FARRAH Fawcett has died. And Greg Lott emerges to say he was Farrah’s love, her secret lover. But now that she’s dead, the secret can be made un-secret. And, it’s not about money. Not at all. And… Well, Anorak’s Man in LA tries to make sense of it on…
Greg Lott’s claims and evidence of a secret, late-life love affair with Farrah Fawcett is now creating a storm in Australia, as the story that broke in the UK and was reported here is now splashed across the Down Under version of OK! Magazine.
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Posted: 7th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Mr Jade Goody, Jack Tweed, In Media Roasting
JACK Tweed has been arresteted and charged with raping a 19-year-old woman. Having been know for too long as Mr Jade Goody, Jack seems to be finally making headway as a jobbing celebrity:
THE Sun (front page): “JACK TWEED RAPE ARREST”
Finally Jack Tweed is his own man…
“MOMENT COPS NICK JADE WIDOW FOR ‘SEX ATTACK’”
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Posted: 5th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Jermaine Jackson’s Management Announce Comeback On Day Of Michael Jackson’s Funeral
MICHAEL Jackson, Danny Gans Watch: Anorak’s Man in LA loosk at what links the iatrogenic death of pharmacy investor Danny Gans and the Michael Jackson case. And finds a link in Jermaine Jackson’s comeback…
There’s no longer any denying an intimate relationship between the deaths of Michael Jackson and Danny Gans.
Gans’ manager Chip Lightman tastefully chose the day of Michael Jackson’s funeral (pictures) to announce that he’s been hired by Jacko’s brother Jermaine to help launch a “comeback,” beginning with convention and corporate bookings.
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Posted: 5th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Bill Nighy Presents The Best Paparazzi Pictures Ever
EVERY day Anorak receives hundreds of paparazzi pictures of stars walking, stars talking and sometimes stars walking and talking. But today we got something different.
We got this:
EXCLUSIVE Bill Nighy is seen eating Spaghetti outside a Mayfair Restaurant in London.
Want to see a middle-aged man eating pasta with sauce? Thought so…
Salad eating shots to follow…
Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Jack Tweed Escapes Unnoticed, Jade Goody’s Name Sullied
MR Jade Goody, Jack Tweed, of Jade Goody Industries – In Mortis Endeavour – has been pinched for allegedly raping a 19-year-old he met in The Embassy, London’s slap and pap club.
So who is Jack Tweed to the media at large? Having taken part in a concerted campaign to become a jobbing celebrity, has Max Clifford’s magic worked for Our Jack? Let’s take a look:
Contact Music: “JADE GOODY – GOODY’S HUSBAND HELD OVER ‘SEX ATTACK'”
EntertainmentWise: “Jade Goody’s Widower Jack Tweed Arrested Over Teen Rape Allegations”
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Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
DJ AM’s Funeral In Words And Pictures
IN death so in life, the funeral service for DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, at the Hollywood Palladium featured a VIP entrance for the VIPs. In all, there were three entrances, one for family and VIPs and one for friends and one for fans.
Friends of the dead are not VIPs at the dead man’s funeral. Is your name on the list?
When someone young dies, there should always be a big crowd – for the young death still holds a macabre novelty, and the sheer number of survivors commands it.
And so they came to mourn: Nicole Richie, the ubiquitous Lindsay Lohan, sex tape-ologists Rebecca Gayhard, Eric Dane, Samantha Ronson, Robert Downey Jr., John Favreau, Nicky Hilton and John Mayer.
Not the dead John Mayer – the other one.
Says one onlooker:
“The crowd was very hip and eclectic, there were people dressed in smart black suits and people dressed in jeans and T-shirts. It was packed though, you could tell how well loved he was. It was a very sombre and sad crowd.”
Tautology is not dead. And while the sad and sombre mourners mourn, DJ AM’s girlfriend Haley Wood addresses the 3,500 faces.
“He was my soulmate and now he is my soul. He is my amazing grace.”
Pictures to follow…
Spotter: INO
Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
All The Best Bits From Michael Jackson’s Funeral
MICHAEL Jackson Funeral And Tribute Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – pictures from the funeral, fan’s name change, fans kept out and Jackson is King of Heaven…
MICHAEL Jackson’s has been buried. And the world’s media looks on:
The funeral of Michael Jackson proved to be a scene of intimate sorrow for his loved ones… Jackson’s 11-year-old daughter Paris and her brothers, Prince Michael and Blanket, began the service by placing a bejeweled crown on their father’s golden casket. They were composed through most of the hour-and-a-half ceremony in Glendale, Calif.
Feel the intimacy. The Times senses privacy…
Although a pooled video feed of the arriving guests was made available by the Jackson family, it was cut off sharply as the proceedings began. Meanwhile, the Glendale police department had set up an exclusion zone outside Forest Lawn — enforced by uniformed and plainclothes officers — and the Federal Aviation Authority restricted all flights within a three-mile radius, to stop news helicopters from hovering overhead.
Nevertheless, flights above 3,000ft were allowed, and cable news channels, including CNN, broadcast silent footage taken from circling aircraft throughout the ceremony.
Daily Mirror: Michael Jackson funeral: All the details from inside the service as Jacko is laid to rest
In contrast to the star-studded public memorial event stages at LA’s Staples Centre, today’s funeral was a private affair.
The Jackson family did allow a live video feed of guests arriving… An airborne camera provided by LA broadcaster KTLA, however, continued to run. It showed a coffin covered in white flowers taken to the front of the congregation.
As for the burial, you can have one, if you can afford it:
Set in vast, landscaped grounds with gardens, sculptures, churches and fountains, Forest Lawn offers a range of funeral packages costing up to £7,880.
The Sun says it costs £100,000 to be buried like Jackson, which seems cheap. But where is Jackson? He’s in any one of 12 plots bought to keep the ghouls away; or got keep all his bits in:
The Sun: “Jacko to rest near Walt Disney”
MICHAEL Jackson will be buried today close to idols Walt Disney & one of Three Stooges.
660 News: “Sprinkling of hopeful fans show up for view of Michael Jackson funeral”
After the service was under way, the number of onlookers dwindled. Jesse Hudson remained on the sidewalk, singing along to “Thriller” on a boom box and clutching a Styrofoam tombstone he plastered with pictures of Jackson. He said he would stay there until the family drove away.
Touching stuff. But what of those who were there?
Mirror: “Others guests took to tweeting about the experience.”
Mr Al Sharpton wrote on his Twitter page: “What MJ went through was so unfair yet he succeeded. In the end, he was the biggest artist ever. He faced the headwinds but he made it.”
Well, blow me. No, don’t. Let’s keep things clean and respectful for the amn the tabloids called Wacko Jacko. You too Bubbles.
BBC: “Pop legend name change for woman”
A Warwickshire woman has changed her name to include ‘Michael Jackson’ in honour of the late pop legend. Marina Jane Michael Jackson, of Warwick, said she had been a life-long fan of the star and his death prompted her to take his name by deed poll. “I got divorced about six years ago and I have had my married name since, so I was looking at changing my name anyway,” she said.
She used to be called Marina Diana Spencer, allegedly.
LA Times: “Japan’s first lady has the vision thing – really”
It’s Venus Surfer Miyuki Hatoyama:
In Japan, she established herself as a “life composer” or lifestyle consultant who makes her own clothes, including a dress fashioned from hemp coffee bags. On the campaign trail, she demonstrated a passable Michael Jackson moon walk.
Michael Jackson – The Funeral in Pictures
Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)
Katie Price Introduces Peter Andre’s Mysterious Lover
KATIE Price – Peter Andre Divorce: Yesterday, Katie Price was on the This Morning sofa telling daytime telly watchers about her rape, that “darkest secret”. And that Peter Andre – who we heard knew nothing of the rapes – “He knows who the person is.”
So it was the same person who raped her “more than once”. But while Katie looks to a career as a self-defence anti-rape campaigner, she also cocks a glance towards Peter Andre, who is sending us a boast card by way of the boys at Matrix Pictures. Peter is in Marbella.
Says Katie Price:
“Pete is seeing a girl, it’s not come out yet but it’s slowly coming out because I’ve read about it. I’ll be fine about it though, as long as they are good to the children, that’s all I ask.”
Katie Price is now getting news on her estranged husband by reading about it? Can you trust all that you read?
The Star is sure that you can and delivers the front-page screamer:
“LIAR Peter’s Got A Secret Lover”
Is he? Who is this lover? And how secret would this lover have to be to avoid being photographed and filmed as she goes about with Sentimental Pete? The Star equips its front page with a shot of Jordan-lite Chantelle Houghton. It then sticks to the facts:
BITCHY Kate Price yesterday humiliated hubby Peter Andre by blurting out on national TV that he has a secret lover.
This is “sour-faced Kate”.
The Star investigates Katie’s claim by calling Peter Andre’s agent on speed dial – from the same firm that now represents Chantelle Houghton and no longer services Jordan. Such is the state of the news business:
Peter’s spokesman said last night: “This is categorically 100% untrue. Peter is very ready to start dating again but we only wish he had the time and the freedom to go out on a date with anyone.”
Peter Andre lacks freedom? What constrains him? Yes, he is still married. But can it be that he is trapped in the media narrative that has Peter The Good taking on Katie The Bad?
In which case, he should know that the media likes nothing more than bringing down the good and saving the bad….
Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (22)
Daily Express: Princess Diana Still Dead
AT the Daily Express, the Journatron lifts its monkey paw finger and passes over the buttons marked “Maddie” and “Gypsies” and presses: “Diana”. The Summer of Death is at its end and Princess Diana emerges from the Fabled Six Floor of Harvey Nichols to remind us that when it comes to controversial celebrity deaths, she rules supreme.
The headlines:
“I have always believed crash was no accident”
“Diana was right to fear for her life, says top QC”
On the Express’s website, more intrigue:
The article you are looking for does not exist. It may have been deleted.
Luckily the dark forces have not got to the Times, which has the story, based on extracts taken from Michael Mansfield QC’s Memoirs of a Radical Lawyer.
Might this be the same Michael Mansfield who represented Mohamed Al Fayed at the Diana inquest, the Harrods owner, whose son Dodi was killed in the Paris car crash with the Princess?
Mohammed Al Fayed’s suggested that the UK was really run by Prince Philip and the security services. Any job with that theory? In his summing-up, Lord Justice Scott Baker told the jury:
“There is no evidence that the Duke of Edinburgh ordered Diana’s execution, and there is no evidence that the secret intelligence service or any other government agency organised it.”
Fayed’s position was “absurd” and “completely off the map“. What says Fayed’s brief, who did such a top job of representing him in court?
Mansfield says that it was “utterly reasonable for the Princess to suppose that Big Brother was looking over her shoulder, that her telephone communications were being tapped and her movements by car were being tracked”.
Well, yes. We’re all watched. Why should it be different for her? The world’s foremost celebrity princess was hardly low profile. And if she was so fearful of the paparazzi, why not wear a seatbelt when they give chase and holiday in more hard-top-reach places than a Paris hotel?
Says Mansfield, she had a “credible and understandable basis for her belief”.
Which means…? Well, it means whatever you want it to. It means that Mansfield has a book to plug.
And the Express has newspapers to sell, and a robot to feed…
Posted: 3rd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
John Mayer Has Died, Jennifer Aniston Offers No Comment
JOHN Mayer RIP. It’s the Summer of Death and musician John Mayer has died. John Mayer was involved in a road accident.
Anorak recalls that his album Indo-Jazz Suite was a hit. He won a scholarship to the Royal Academy of Music. Now he has died.
No. no. Noooooo. Not that John Mayer, former squeeze to Jennifer Aniston and signer of such hits as “I Touched Jennifer Aniston’s Hair”, “Jennifer Aniston & Me” and “Jennifer Aniston Revisited”.
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Posted: 3rd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)
Katie Price’s Anti-Rape TV Show And Peter Andre’s Boast Card
KATIE Price and Peter Andre’s Divorce: Katie Tops Country Life poll, shock on the rape shock, a new self-defence TV show and Dignified Peter sends a boast card from Marbella, with the kidzzzzz…
Following news in OK! that Katie Price was raped, comes news in OK! sister organ, the Daily Star of Peter Andre’s reaction.
Reading Northern & Shell news, which owns both titles, is akin to listening to a phone call from the space shuttle.
Monday (Jordan): I woz waped
Tuesday (Peter Andre): Shucks.
Wednesday (Jordan): Wearlly. Its me darkist seekwit.
Thursday (PA): Shucks. Raaaaaapeee isssss payyyyne / lyke dri-i-i-veeeeenggg raaaiiin…
The Star’s Gemma Wheatley is on the switchboard and turns to tell us:
Peter Andre is stunned by Jordan’s claims that she was raped ‘more than once’.
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Posted: 3rd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (8)
Summer Of Death: Cate Blanchett Bleeds For Her Art
CATE Blanchett has been hit on the head by a prop as she performs in A Streetcar Named Desire, in Sydney. It’s the Summer of Death, the big celebrity cull as celebs keeps step with the recession and reduce in numbers in accordance with the EU directive to recude the Eberoty Mountain.
Joel Edgerton (actor) tosses an old-fashioned radio set that instead of landing on the ground it landed on Blanchett’s head.
Says one audience member:
“She had blood streaming down the back of her head and blood on the back of her neck. She acted for about another 30 seconds, then ran into what we thought was the next scene.
“Before we knew it the lights were turned on and we were told there were technical difficulties and everyone had to evacuate the Sydney Theatre Company.”
Evacuate. Evacuate Evacuate. A radio is on the loose. No stand-in can be found. Evacuate!
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Posted: 2nd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Pregnant Coleen Rooney Coped With Holiday
COLEEN Rooney is advertising her new child in OK!, and readers learn that Coleen has had “no weird cravings”, just the usual desire to share every moment of her brilliant life with us and a penchant for shopping.
Coleen’s baby is “amazing”, and lest you think your baby is like Coleen’s, know that it is not, as she says:
“The whole process of giving birth is different for everyone.”
Some tell OK!. Others tell Hello!. As she says, giving birth is different for everyone.
Coleen says she wants more children but is “going to wait to have the first one before we decide”. Coleen has just one womb. (The extension is being built and won’t be ready for a while and the NHS doesn’t supply baby birthing bags yet.)
Coleen goes on to tell us that she “coped” in the sun on her holidays, and is keeping active by walking at the gym, on a machine. She also says:
“You should let babies be babies and just put them in babygros.”
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Posted: 2nd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Renee Zellweger And Bradley Cooper Name The Day
DID you know that Renee Zellweger is “currently romancing the hottest actor of the moment…”? So says OK! magazine.
No, it’s not Brad Pitt. No, not George Clooney. No, not Gerard Butler. No, not Steve McFadden. It’s…
“…Bradley Cooper.”
Yes, that Bradley Cooper, from the A Team film, which is due out in 2010.
And that is not all. Renee is turning 40 soon. But OK! shouts that “IT DOESN’T MAKE HER FEEL SAD.”
So what does make Renee Zellwegger feel sad? OK! sits down with the middle-aged actress for a chat.
“I’m so sad that everyone keeps pointing to this birthday.”
Before telling us:
“I feel nothing different. Nothing. There’s nothing different…”
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Posted: 2nd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Raped Katie Price Keeps Her Head High And Her Arse Higher
KATIE Price tells OK! magazine readers that she has been raped. The revelation is on the magazine’s cover: “I’VE BEEN RAPED.”
“THE MUM OF THREE FINALLY REVEALS HER DARKEST SECRET.”
And so you know what to make of someone being raped, OK! tells you that it’s “HEARTBREAKING”.
Inside and Lisa Byrne is already analysing the effect the rapes have had on Katie Price:
“This probably explains a lot about Katie’s psyche – and why she is so tough and carries on through a crisis with her head held high.”
And her arse held higher.
And then comes a health warning, as Lisa Byrne turns OK! into a social service organ and publishes the number for Rape Crisis.
Katie’s rape is big news:
The Sun (front page): “Jordan: My Rape Ordeal”
Daily Mirror (front page): “I was raped says Jordan”
Daily Star (front page): “I’ve been raped”
Daily Express (front page): “I was raped more than once says Katie Price”
OK! tells us that when Katie Piece was six she was sexually assaulted, licked in the park by a man who offered her an ice-cream.
In her OK! Agony Aunt columns, Katie makes her shock rape ‘n’ tell in light of news that her current lover, Alex Reid, is playing a rapist in a film called Killer Bitch:
“Rape is a subject very close to my heart. I was raped when I was younger, more than once… Someone who was close to Alex was also raped and he is as horrified as I am by these claims.”
So it’s not a rape film, then? Which would explain why on the film’s website, the following boasts/ warnings are featured prominently:
* “A vile and degrading hardcore porn movie.” (Perth Now, Australia)
* “Exploitation film… torture-porn… modern horror” (Irish Independent)
* “Vile and degrading… sickening footage… scenes too vile to describe… unsavoury, shocking and unsuitable movie.” (News of the World)
* “Violent, aggressive… icky stuff” (TheHollywoodGossip.com)
Katie then tells us that Alex is in a “different league” to her former shag partner Andre Pinto, who told his shag ‘n’ tell to the tabloids.
As for the rapists, well no names are named. But Katie Price’s victim status has been established.
Posted: 2nd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)
Michael Jackson Tribute: Profonol Peter Doherty Duets With Mariah Carey
MICHAEL Jackson Tribute Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Profonol Pete Doherty’s Tribute, Jackson rached out to R Kelly, Mariah Carey regrets not being the star of the funeral and a ghost in the tape…
Pete Doherty is to perform a tribute to Michael Jackson.
Smack and crack are old news. Propofol is in. A stars needs a signature drug. Doheryt hasd dabbled but he has never achieved the telling epithet, such as Cocaine Kate, his former lover Kate Moss did, nor the King Of Prop. Michael Jackson.
Also, Doherty will appear on the David Gest.. My Life! A Musical Concert Extravaganza show at the HMV Apollo in Hammersmith, west London. Gest made up one part of that picture of Liza Minnelli, Jackson and Liz Taylor, the one in which all four appear to be melting.
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Posted: 1st, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Demi Moore Helps Rumer Willis Think Her Way To Bigger Breasts
SAYS Rumer Willis, daughter to as-nature-intended Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, to Glamour magazine:
“I haven’t inherited my mother’s body.”
Well, not yet. But give it time, Rumer, and you may well get the body and the attachment.
But what’s this? Of course, Demi Moore says her body has never been under the knife. She has had no cosmetic surgery. Demi Moore – a name we believed to be the product of nominative determinism – achieved those breasts by the power of her mind.
And you too can, Rumer.
But first begin small. Start by gazing at your navel. And watch as it magically transforms into a neat upturned nose, smooth thighs, raised cheekbones, great hair and breasts that no earthquake can shake.
You just need to believe…
A Pictorial Guide – NSFW:
Posted: 1st, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Chris Brown Has Suspected Knuckle Concussion
CHRIS Brown, the US singer, says he does not remember beating up Rihanna, the popstar.
His brains really must be in his fists. Brown hit Rihanna so hard his brains jogged out of alignment and gave him knuckle concussion.
But it’s not Brown’s fist doing the talking this time, it’s his mouth.
On CNN’s Larry King Live, Brown explains:
“I’m in shock because first of all that’s not who I am as a person and that’s not who I pride myself on being. When I look at the police reports, I’m like ‘wow’ – I don’t know what to think. It’s crazy to me.”
Crazy to me is to wear a bowtie with a jumper. The bowtie gives the wearer the look of a man not to be taken seriously; he should be viewed as a bit suspect.
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Posted: 31st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Pictures Prove Demi Moore Has Not Had Cosmetic Surgery
DEMI Moore has not had cosmetic surgery. and we can prove it with our Demi Moore picures. Says Demi Moore in French Marie Clare:
“It’s completely false, I’ve never had it done… But I would never judge those who have. If it’s the best thing for them, then I don’t see a problem…
“It’s a way to combat your neurosis. The scalpel won’t make you happy…
“That said, the day when I start crying when I look at myself in the mirror might be the day when I’m less adamant about not having it done…
“For the moment I prefer to be a beautiful woman of my age than try desperately to look thirty.”
NSFW pictures prove Demi good to her word:
Posted: 31st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Michael Jackson: Sperm Parties, Macaulay Culkin And A Secret Heart Attack
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Macaulay Culkin’s sperm, Wacked Off Jackson’s celebrity milking machine, Jackson’s secret heart attack and the FBI…
Michael Jackson is now less Wacko Jacko as he is Wacked Off Jackson, the man who went about harvesting his friends’ sperm, singing to them to keep their produce tip-top quality and reminding them that more than two crotch grabs is a donation.
Mark Lester has already told us about his time on the Jacksons milking machine, and we have read of Jackson’s own desperming. Now we are invited to see Macaulay Culkin hooked up to the Jackson milk-o-matic.
The Sun: “Home Alone Culkin ‘is dad of Blanket’”
ACTOR Macaulay Culkin is the mystery dad of Michael Jackson’s son Blanket, it was claimed last night.
Blanket. Pubescent sperm. Did Jackson play a team of scrapologists to process the Neverland bedding? The King of…Pop?
The Home Alone film star is said to have donated sperm to help Jacko create his seven-year-old offspring – real name Prince Michael II – with an unknown surrogate mum.
One source said: “It is well known Jackson and Macaulay shared a unique bond. Now rumours are spreading like wildfire that Macaulay, who Jackson nicknamed Mack, is actually Blanket’s biological dad.”
Rumours mentioned. Rumours spread. And minds turn to those Jackson did not milk.
* Did Jackson equip Uri Geller with a soup soon and a copy of the Carrs of Sheffield catalogue?
* Did Elizabeth Taylor show Jackson her vials filled with the essences of husbands’ past?
* Did Jackson’s kin supply sperm, and would it explain La Toya Jackson’s wide-eyed expression?
* Is David Gest fit for purpose?
* Did Bubbles spank the monkey?
No word yet from Culkin nor anyone else. Still, rumours and all that. In other Jackson Five news:
Daily Mirror: “Michael Jackson’s heart attack was ‘kept secret’, claims singer’s friend
Dr Steven Hoefflin, a friend of the singer, revealed the latest twist after speaking to medics involved in Jackson’s case. He confirmed: “They say he had lividity, which means his blood had already sunk to the back of his body.”
Which means Michael Jackson’s body was on was back to front?
“This indicates Michael’s heart had stopped hours earlier.”
What other facts?
Forensic pathologist Dr Cyril Wecht, not involved in the Jackson case, said: “If someone carried the body from one room to another, the livor would be ‘broken’ where contact with the body was made.”
If…
“If one person held his ankles and the other held him under his arms, there would be corresponding white interruptions of livor mortis in those spots.”
If…
Retired FBI special agent Ted Gunderson, who has independently monitored the case, said the new evidence pointed to a “massive cover-up” by Murray.
Independently monitored the case – as in, read the newspapers and watched telly…
He asked: “Did Murray try to fool people into thinking Jackson died on the way to hospital in the hope an autopsy could be avoided?”
Dunno. What say you, detective?
If so, it didn’t work, which is why he had to confess to administering Propofol.” Murray, 56, denies mistreating Jackson.
If…
Michael Jackson – Rest in Pieces…
Michael Jackson Homicide: Wacked Off Jacko Donated Sperm
Posted: 31st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Madonna, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher And Justin Timberlake Arrive For Israel Summit
Madonna, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher And Justin Timberlake Arrive For Israel Summit.
MADONNA is coming to Israel. And there’s nothing Israel can do about it.
The Material Girl went from wanting to be ‘as famous as God’ in the Eighties to wanting to reach God through Kabbalah, and to save both planet Earth and the black babies who wander on it, in the Noughties.
Israel’s Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu and opposition leader Tzipi Livni will both meet Madonna. But the fear is that she can not be stopped.
Madonna wants to perform at Tel Aviv’s Park Hayarkon, on Tuesday and Wednesday night.
Before that she’ll meet the politicos. Can they dissuade her?
Even before that Madonna’s in Jerusalem’s Old City, touring an ancient tunnel near the Western Wall. We watched her go in. We waited. Men prayed. Later she emerged.
Madonna will tour graves of Talmudic sages in Safed and attend a Kabbalah Centre ritual with Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. The Jerusalem Post says another “Kabbalah-related celebrity friend”, Justin Timberlake, is on his way to the scene.
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Posted: 31st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Simon Dee In Pictures And Video
THE Summer of Death strikes once more as Simon Dee – it’s Siiiiiiiiimin Dee – dies. he was 74. Who knew Dee, the first superstar of British TV broadcasting, could get that old?
He was born Cyril Nicholas Henty-Dodd in Lancashire. He changed his name, combining his son’s forename with the initial letter of his surname to become Simon Dee.
Dee… became a bus driver and lived in Winchester, Hants after his television career ended.
Now Dee’s time is up and his clipboard is interned in the TV vaults.
Sammy Davis Jr on Dee Time, 1968.
Posted: 30th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
