Russell Brand Pushed Into Trafalgar Square Fountain

Russell Brand is pushed into the Trafalgar Square fountain…

RUSSELL Brand can take a joke, as West Ham fans know. Sometimes he has trouble telling one but he can take one.

If anyone is looking for a reason to like Russell Brand, know that the Daily Mail hates him.

Here’s Russell Brand working on his new film Get Him To The Greek and being pushed into the Trafalgar Square fountain.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Join The Green Jet Set

BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie travel by private jet again. As Anorak’s Man in the Hollywood Swamp notes:

A private seat that consumed something in the neighbourhood of 400 gallons of fuel for each person onboard. As opposed to the 125 gallons per passenger that a loaded Boeing 777 would have consumed.

This is, of course the same Brad Pitt who supports Global Green, whose mission is:

“…to reduce greenhouse gas emmissions.”

Anorak

Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (16)

‘Cocaine’ Kerry Katona Flees To The Sun

FOLLOWING the less-than-sensational news that Kerry Katona snorts her bi-polar medication in her en-suite bathroom, or inhales cocaine, as the NOTW says, sniffs anthrax powder or does her own publicty or.. whatever,  the Sun announces:

KERRY Katona has ignored pleas to check into rehab – and will go to a boozy holiday resort instead.

Pals begged Kerry, 28, to book into the Priory after she was filmed snorting coke at her home.

Or not.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Frozen Michael Jackson Being Fed By A Bent Spoon

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Jackson frozen, fed by a spoon, Sly Stone misses out and Jermaine Jackson’s Legacy book…

The Sun: “Frail, sick Jackson ‘was fed by spoon’”

That’s the chopstick theory blown out the water. Is Uri Geller involved – he has to be:

MICHAEL Jackson was so weak in his final days he needed to be SPOON-FED meals, his make-up artist has revealed.

It’s high time we heard from the make-up artist. Finally:

Karen Faye, 53, says the King of Pop was “disorientated and sickly” in his last week and claims the pressure of his up-coming London shows “killed” him.

Jackson was not well before he died? Who knew?

Karen told Jacko’s fans on Facebook that choreographer Kenny Ortega was feeding the singer.

She said: “He (Jacko) was 12-20 pound heavier in April than he was in June. Kenny was cutting his chicken and feeding it to him. This was one of my concerns. If he cannot feed himself, how could he be expected to do these shows?”

Hire another Michael Jackson – there are lots of them? Bring back Bubbles to feed him? Get some staff as befitting the King of Pop, a peer of the realm who should no more have to feed himself than a lowly Prince Charles should have to aim his own penis at the specimen bottle.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Peter Andre Hit For Six As Katie Price Goes Mad in Dorset

KATIE Price and Peter Andre Divorce – Jordan goes mad in Dorset, Superdad Peter Andre is badly beaten by the Black Eyed Peas and sobs his way to a new relaity TV show…

EACH morning the Daily Star’s drones must think of a new Katie Price story, and today the team duly delivers, “Jordan’s out of control”.

Readers learn:

A close friend of the model, who suffered a miscarriage shortly before the break-up, said: “Kate has only cried once since she split from Peter. That’s just not normal.”

Given the amount of cosmetic work performed on Katie Price’s face and superstructure tears may not come easy. To seep, she may need to be squeezed. Inside, Katie may be sobbing her heart out. And what is normal – “Pete’s one-off documentary about their split, Going It Alone, airs tonight on ITV2 and sees him burst into tears a whopping TEN times”?

And then there is the possibility that the “close friend” is not all that close?

Anorak

Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)

Vanessa Hudgens And Zac Efron Do Katie Price And Peter

ANORAK spots: Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron getting married, Levi Johnston naked, Peter Andre misses Katie Price, Britney Spears does the doggy and N-Dubz in panto…

* VANESSA Hudgens and Zac Efron are getting married, to each other.

Says Hudgens:

“Zac likes me in bright red lipstick. I am his one true vamp!”

Just bright red lipstick and nothing else. But there is hope for you teens that the wedding might not happen and Zac/Vanessa can be yours:

“We haven’t set a date and if we did we’d keep it secret for as long as possible. Why? What if one of us was offered a major film part? Then we’d have to postpone our marriage and people would say we’d split up. And we don’t want that.”

Teenagers with links to the film biz are right now pestering mum and dad to given Zac and Vanessa parts in film that keep them miles apart. “Dad, I think Zac would be great with Sienna Miller”; “Mum, Vanessa is puurrfect for Kabul Road Rage 3000” – Showbiz Spy

* Former Sarah Palin son-in-law Levi Johnston says he may pose nude if the price is right.

“It depends on the money, man.”

And if they make a sequel… – USA Mag

* According to TMZ, Britney Spears’ new head weave makes her a ringer for “Dog the Bounty Hunter” star Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman.

If the hair gets together, it may breed and create a Kajagoogoo tribute act – TMZ

* Peter Andre proves how much he has moved on from Katie Price by telling viewers of his sentimental show Going It Alone that he is missing Katie Price.

“I do miss her. I hate missing her, I hate it. Funny thing is, I don’t even know what I miss, because there was so much bad.”

Has he stopped talking about her long enough to notice she’s not there? – Digital Spy

* N-dubz do panto

There’s also a little poison – on one song, Dappy disses a “bisexual prick” and blames him for spreading Aids – but a little marketable homophobia never did Eminem any harm. Despite this, it’s all strangely family friendly. There’s a bit of larking about in boxing robes to the “Eye of the Tiger” riff, and Dappy gets the crowd to chant “Fazer is a plonker”. They stop just short of soliciting a “He’s behind you!!!”.

Whatever your preconceptions, N-Dubz’s urban panto is fun for all ages …. – Indy

Behind you – no, not that close, batty boy…

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Rumer Willis’ 21st Birthday Party In Pictures

RUMER Willis is 21. She’s having a birthday party at the TAO Nightclub, Venetian Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas.

In keeping with such a starry event there’s a photographer taking pictures of the guests as they arrive. These pictures are a keepsake, a going home present – Hollywood’s version of a piece of birthday cake wrapped in a napkin and a Noddy pen.

To go with the photographer, there are other entertainers – the tattooist, the sex tape expert (“your face in their place!”) and a plate of egg white omelettes for the chauffeurs to chow down on as they wait to pick up the kids.

Anorak was at the do, and we now bring you pictures from it, featuring Margo Harshman, Briana Evigan, Audrina Patridge, Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung, Winky The Bear and Smartie Artie.

Tits and teeth ladies:

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Lollapalooza Dancers Do The Wilson And Keppel Clockwork Boogaloo

THE world’s best dancer is live at the Lollapalooza festival – it’s the sand dance revisted. Take it away the Wilson And Keppel clockwork boogaloo:

Enjoy your Sunday… As they were:

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Katie Price Bans Harvey And ‘Ruins’ Peter Andre

KATIE Price and Peter Andre Divorce – Katie bans Harvey, bans sex, vows to ruin Peter Andre and wishes him the best of luck…

The People: “JORDAN SLAPS HARVEY BAN ON PETER ANDRE
EXCLUSIVE”

That’s right, Harvey fans, no Harvey in Peter Andre: Moving On. Harvey has moved on.

Thankfully, Harvey – he was always the star – will be in Katie’s own fly-in-the-Touch-Eclat show What Katie Did Next.

Says the show’s narrator:

“Guests are arriving including Harvey. But his mother has refused permission for him to be filmed.”

In Pete’s show expert lots of pictures of sentimental Pete cuddling his children and being cuddled, in private moments. Expect lots of sentiment and forlorn looks and loadsa tears – as the Mirror says:

Peter Andre’s tears: Star breaks down 10 times on TV special charting end of marriage to Katie Price.

But no Harvey.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)

Jade Goody’s Spirit Wants To Smack Jack Tweed?

JACK Tweed, of Jade Goody Industries, is in conversation with whale-voiced Carole Malone, in:

Jack Tweed: I trashed memory of Jade with sex, Red Bull and vodka. His boozing and partying have made him a national disgrace. Now Jack Tweed finally confesses

Finally!

Says Jack: “But I don’t know what else to do. She’s not here to tell me what to do. And she was the only person in the world who could – and who I’d listen to.”

And poof! – Jade is reborn:

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kerry Katona Takes ‘Cocaine’ In Her En Suite Bathroom

FOR Kerry Katona life follows art, as the News of The World watches the star of the MTV show Kerry Katona: Crazy In Love taking “cocaine” and going “mad”:

KERRY KATONA GOES MAD ON COKE AFTER 4-DAY BOOZE BENDER

Look on as:

SHAMELESS Kerry Katona pushes a rolled £20 note up her nose before swiftly snorting a line of cocaine – and every second is caught in shock detail on video.

Yeah, a £20 note. It’s alright for some. Not too long ago we feared Kerry was on her uppers. Now she is – but able to use a £20 note to administer them.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Jade Goody Presents Pride Of Heaven Awards

“JADE Goody would be so proud” states the Daily Mirror’s front-page headline.

Jeff Brazier, Jade Goody’s old sparring partner, tells Mirror readers that Jade’s boys talks to her in heaven “and what he real thinks of Jack”.

We too are proud of Jeff for telling us how proud Jade is. They are the winners of Anorak’s first Pride of Heaven awards.

Jade Goody’s two young sons look up to the sky and ask: “Daddy, has Mummy’s hair grown back in Heaven?”

Dad Jeff Brazier hugs Bobby, six, and four-year-old Freddy tight, and smiling says: “‘Yes, Mummy’s got her hair back, she’s looking her best, wearing the lovely clothes she used to and she’s happy and joking a lot’.

“Whether it’s right or wrong, that’s what I tell them,” says Jeff.

Jackiey Budden, the Jade Goody Mum, could always ask Jade what she’s wearing at the next televised séance.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

The Most Controversial Michael Jackson Tributes

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – the Live Forever Monument and the most controversial Michael Jackson tributes…

You want a tribute to Michael Jackson – you can’t handle the tribute:

What is the appropriate scale to remember a man who operated on everything possible – from the studied renovation of his own human form to the creation of an  architectural-scale wunderkamer at Neverland Ranch? What design proposal can top his own unrealized plans to construct a 50-foot robotic replica of himself that roams the Las Vegas desert shooting laser beams out of its eyes?

We’d go with the aroused butter cow.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Patrick Wolf’s Hissy Fit Pop

BEFORE we get to Patrick Wolf’s on-stage tantrum – and the England cricket has played worse pie chuckers –  a few words from the singer:

“I have a huge instinct to destroy any label that’s put on me.”

It’s hissy fit pop. But only until Patrick destroys it. Then it will be petulant rock, gauche guitar and so on…

“Maybe people thought I was difficult when I was 18. I’d make electronic music and get labelled electroclash and then suddenly change to make folk music, shave my head, get back to nature, then change again into a Technicolor pop thing.”

Anorak

Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Paris Jackson’s ‘Aunt’ Slams Mark Lester And Gary’s Michael Jackson Memorial

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Mark Lester’s ex-wife Jane says Paris Jackson not his, Mark Lester is “nuts” and Gary pays for the  Jackson memorial show.

LAST week we heard that Mark Lester could be the father to Michael Jackson’s three children (and counting), or not. We were invited to note the resemblance between his daughter Harriet and Jackson’s daughter Paris.

Now the Mail’s Alison Boshoff tells us:

Is my ex-husband Mark Lester the father of Jacko’s children? No, he’s completely nuts

Jane Lester sighs heavily when you ask whether her former husband Mark, the child star made famous by Oliver!, could possibly have made a sperm donation to Michael Jackson in 1996 – and thus be the biological father of Michael’s eldest children, Prince Michael and Paris Jackson…

It’s certainly a startling story – but can it possibly be true? And what, you wonder, would prompt Lester, now living obscurely as a 51-year-old osteopath in Cheltenham, to tell such a story?

Well, wonder no more, Alison Boshoff, because, er, last week Lester told us:

Now I’m not able to have any communication with the children. My repeated phone calls aren’t returned and emails go unanswered. This isn’t what Michael would have wanted. I feel I have to come forward, as my only way of saying, ‘Please don’t shut me out!'”

Anorak

Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

‘Despicable’ Katie Price’s C*nt And Dignified Peter Andre Sobs

KATIE Price and Peter Andre Divorce: Peter’s calls Katie “despicable”, Katie calls her old agent a “cunt”, Peter sobs and the recorded truce goes on…

Daily Star: “PETER: IT’S WORST DAY OF MY LIFE”

Earlier in the week, Peter Andre drew a line with his nail in the Touche Eclat and said he and Katie Price should call a truce and say now more about the matter of their divorce. His album would sell on its own merits. There would be no mention of Katie Price. That’s K.A.T.I… Now read:

TORMENTED Peter Andre suffered his worst day since his split from Kate Price yesterday – after seeing his wife romping in a park with her new lover. The Aussie singer, 36, sobbed as he gazed at our pictures of Jordan’s new man, cage fighter Alex Reid, getting frisky with her and playing daddy to the kids.

And he slammed Jordan, 31, for using his children as “pawns” in her bitter publicity war against him.

Prawns? How very Australian. One for the cook book.

The Star focuses eyes on “cruel Kate” and “giggling Junior”.

Now Pete The Dignified tells “pals”, who tell the Star, who tell readers:

“God only knows what is going on in that house if they behave like that in a public park. I just hope my kids are not being exposed to that behaviour every day.”

We then get this gem:

Peter spent the day with his management team and stuck to his vow of keeping quiet about his split from Kate.

So did he say anything or not? The Star seems unsure. Meanwhile, in the hedonistic world of Katie Price:

Kate prised herself away from her new lover yesterday and took a family day trip to the Isle of Wight.

And what of Pete keeping quiet and not using the kids as prawns, not dragging them into the media war?

Daily Mirror: “Katie Price branded a “despicable mother” by Peter Andre”

This is way with truces. Dignified Peter Andre who has already called his estranged wife “cheap” and “disgusting“ and says Katie Price makes “dirty money” now calls her “despicable“. Peter Andre is working his way through the “ds”. Next up: dastardly, devilish and disgraceful.

But let us say now more about it…

Horrified Peter Andre accused Katie Price of being a “despicable mother” during an expletive-filled row witnessed by the Mirror. The singer was incensed after discovering Katie was teaching their children to swear – using the C-word in front of Junior, four, Princess, two, and Harvey, seven.

During the ferocious six-minute phone conversation Katie, 31, instructed Junior to use vile and offensive language.

The Mirror was with Peter, 36, throughout the conversation.

What are the odds?

Katie then took the phone back from the youngster and launched a vicious attack on her former manager Claire Powell, who still represents Peter. She called her a “fat, ugly, evil c***.”

The emotional singer retaliated, calling Katie a “despicable mother” and a “disgrace”. By chance, the argument was captured by an ITV2 camera crew filming for Peter’s reality show. It is not yet known whether the row will make

D is for Dignity – thy name is Peter Andre.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Gay George Michael ‘Dead’

GEORGE Michael is not dead. George Michael has been “arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of drink or drugs” after his silver Land Rover was involved in a collision with a truck on the A34 near Newbury, Berkshire.

Well, so the papers say.

In truth, Michael is taken to Lodden Valley police station, near Reading. At 5:55am he is released without charge. He is well. He was not arrested, merely questioned, as is routine.

The Mirror has the, er, “exclusive”:

EXCLUSIVE: George Michael arrested after crashing his Range Rover into back of lorry at 1am

And if you want more facts:

“George Campbell, boss of the firm that owns the truck, said he could have been seriously injured or even killed.”

Wham! Another celebrity death – averted. The Sun confirms the news that Michael is alive, but expected more from “Gay George”:

Onlookers feared George, 46 was DEAD as he sat dazed in the mangled motor for ten minutes near Newbury, Berks.

And George Michael – how is he?

“He was quite merry and wanted a lift but didn’t say where to. He was wearing glasses, a black baseball cap, a tight-fitting black T-shirt, black trousers and Crocs shoes. He carried a satchel.”

Crocs… Ew. He was in bad way:

The motor was a write-off and the gay singer – described as “away with the fairies” – survived by a miracle.

A car crash follwied by a bit of light gay bashing. The sun’s font-page headline screams:

“GEORGE MICHAEL SHUNTS TRUCKER IN REAR.”

Only Michael wasn’t out of it. He  failed no drink nor drugs test. He was not arrested. He is not dead.

Sky News says Michael’s car is worth £80,000, although given the state of his health this might rise (it’s memorabilia, right) or if he’s well, fall (repairs aren’t cheap).

Of course, this is the same George Michael who in 2007 admitting being unfit to drive when he watched the light show at the junctions between Cosmic Cricklewood Lane and Hendon Way, North London. Red. Orange. Green. Red. Orange… Anyone else see the lights in the sky?

And this means the media must look over his driving history, yer honour.

Michael was cautioned by police for possession of cannabis after being found in a similar state at Hyde Park Corner in February, 2007. At the time he issued a statement claiming it was “my own stupid fault as usual”, and later penned a song inspired by the experience. In April, 2007 the former Wham! star was in the news again when he collided with three parked cars near his north London home.

In May 2004, he wrote off his BMW on the A40 in Acton, west London, and crashed into railings.

The Scottish Daily Record has more news, yer honour:

Michael’s most notorious brush with the law came in 1998, whenhe was detained for lewd conduct in a public toilet in Los Angeles by an undercover police officer.

Does he have an in-car toilet?

In August 2009, George Michael was involved in a car accident in which no-one was hurt.

End of.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)

Heidi Montag’s 20 Orgasms A Day Telethon

HEIDI Montag, the US TV reality star, is hosting a sponsored tel;thon in which Bible students and fellow Mother Theresa enthusiasts will make a pledge for every orgasm her husband Spencer Pratt adminsters in her person:

“You know, I was never very sexual before I met you, Spencer. I knew what sex was, but when I met you I entered into a whole new realm of understanding, from fantasy to love. Or to experience a day with 20 or 30 orgasms. Before you, sex was just something that happened. Now it’s something I look forward to every minute of the day.”

Anorak

Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jude Law Crafts His Looks For Rachel Stevens’ Wedding

THIS week in OK! – Rachel Stevens learns to walk the aisle, Suzi Walker WAGs and Jude Law on Jude Law…

RACHEL Stevens, formerly of S Club 7, is marrying Alex Bourne, a man she got off when she was 13 and ended up with… forever.

There’s a traditional “hora” dance, which turns out not to be the last words heard before an Irish shotgun wedding but a Jewish folk trot. Russell, Rachel’s stepfather, then calls her a “princess”.

But if that’s not warning enough for what’s to come. We bring you this vignette from the pre-do interview:

OK!: “Have you been on a pre-wedding diet?”
RACHEL: “I have followed a juice detox diet called the Nosh Diet. It’s really healthy and I like the concept of it. .. I’m going to take it up again after the honeymoon. I’ve been walking a lot with Joanna Hall, using her special walking technique…”

The technique is not shared with us, it being an esoteric thing that only the few are privy to.

VIP clubs and bars are full of celebrities walking in their special way. Ever wonder why you are held back at the read rope? It’s the walk. They can see you coming.

SUZI Walker was a Wag when it meant a happy dog.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Sophie Reade’s Breasts Outgrow Big Brother

BIG Brother sensation as Sophie Reade’s breasts grow before your eyes.

Indeed, dear readers, Big Brother is no longer like watching grass grow. Big Brother requires an entire new language to explain its being.

As Anorak’s pictures show, watching Big Brother is like watching Sophie’s breasts grow.

Of course, it was never always this way. One afternoon, in Messers Nip ‘n’ Tuck’s clinic, Sophie’s breasts grew massively in a very short time. Now they grow by degrees, like two tectonic plates drifting inexorably together to form a massive mountain down which a cascade of asti spumanti can flow, or, should the photographer request it, a river of single cream.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

George Clooney Give Mark Wahlberg The Gift Of Fear

WANT to know what George Clooney got Marky Mark Wahlberg as a wedding gift?

Don’t bother guessing, it’s a rhetorical question. What Clooney gave Whalberg was an insight into his issues.

As the National Enquirer reports:

To his closest pals, prankster George Clooney will forever be “George Clown-ey” for wacky stunts like… sending buddy Mark Wahlberg a wedding gift that arrived just before his “I do” to new bride Rhea Durham – who definitely did NOT echo Almost Hubby’s delighted belly-laugh when he opened the box and found: a ball and chain; handcuffs; a straightjacket inscribed with his name; and a photo of Marky Mark peering forlornly through jalihouse bars.

Clowney ships the same hilarious gift to pals preparing to walk The Last Mile… er, I mean walk down the aisle.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Val Kilmer’s Chaos Experiment Kills Cinema Audiences

VAL Kilmer’s new film, the Chaos Experiment, is, as Tim Blair says, the greatest global warming movie never seen. Which is a shame when you learn of the plot:

A former professor concocts a brutal experiment in order to get the word out on the effects of global warming. By trapping six people in an urban Turkish bathhouse, he vows to overheat his hostages unless his global-warming hypothesis is published on the front page of his local paper.

In Finland they laugh in the face of overheating.

Val Kilmer is the professor with a ladle of water. The plot is a steamy as a greyhound’s freshly laid turd. Well, Eric Roberts is in it:

In a nutshell, the “six sexy strangers” get naked before they go crazy and start killing one another.

This is how the world will end, as it began, only with bigger chests and waxed groins. William Yeatman delivers the news in a nutshell:

Val Kilmer’s New Global Warming Film Is Awful Despite Gratuitous Nudity

Eco-razzi says “The Chaos Experiment” (aka “The Steam Experiment“, aka “Who Farted?”)was released in only 2 theatres before going straight to video.

Image:

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Michael Jackson Tribute Show Kicks Off Premier League

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Rio Ferdinand and Anton’s Premier League tribute, Tinchy Stryder denies, Jackson beats Elvis and Officer La Toya Jackson (LA PD) gets her man…

The Sun: “Jacko’s £120m stacko

MICHAEL Jackson’s estate is expected to make £120million this year alone – and he will soon become the top-earning dead star.

Bigger than Jesus? Jackson’s the hardest working corpse in showbiz:

Executors of the Thriller singer’s legacy have already made £60million from merchandising contracts and a deal to make a film from unreleased footage of rehearsals for his doomed O2 gigs.

Album sales and other royalties could double that sum. John Branca, 59, who makes the decisions on marketing the tragic star with co-executor John McClain, 54, said they are set to earn more than Elvis Presley – who rakes in £33million a year.

Elvis is dead? Nooooooooo…

Times: “Rod Temperton – Thrilling the Publishers”

It may come as something of a surprise that some of Michael Jackson’s biggest hits – including ‘Thriller’, ‘Rock With You’ and ‘Off The Wall’ were written by a long forgotten keyboard player from Cleethorpes. Yet Rod Temperton was one of the most sought after producers in the post-disco period who penned some of the best-known hits of the 1980s.

Wow. And these hits were first sung by a little kid from Gary, Indiana. Amazing!

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Amy Winehouse Talks To Blake Through Her Pussy

AMY Winehouse is communicating with Blake Fielder-Civil via her pussy… cat. Yes, we know it’s smutty, but we’re still in mourning for Mrs Slocombe. And like her, Amy Winehouse has turned into a cat lady.

Reports are that Winehouse is speaking to Blaaaaaake on Facebook through her cat Shirley’s profile.

The Sun has more:

AMY WINEHOUSE has set up a Facebook profile pretending to be her cat as a way of keeping in secret contact with BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL.

Who’s to say Winehouse’s not channelling Shirley? Take enough drugs and even the kitchen units speak to you.

Currently appearing in rehab, Blake can hear the cat talking to him. “There could only be one winner,” says Shirley. “She’s with me now.”

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Susan Boyle Sings On Alan Carr’s Chatty Man

SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle is on Channel 4, appearing with Alan Carr, the product of Eric Morecambe’s coupling with Larry Grayson.

Susan Boyle is on Channel 4, appearing with Alan Carr, the product of Eric Morecambe’s coupling with Larry Grayson.

But it turns out this is not Boyle but Amanda Holden, the woman who also appears on the Britain’s Got Talent YouTube hit in her capacity as a judge.

The Sun says this is “a cruel send-up of fragile singing sensation Susan Boyle”. And it is. It is also a cruel send up of Carr’s show that seems unable to find new material or a decent guest, and is forced to interview another self-promoting TV product about another reality TV show product.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (84)