Michael Jackson Found New ‘Son’ On Holiday

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Is Omer Bhatti Michael Jackson’s fourth child? No. Was Michael Jackson murdered? No. Now read on…

Daily Star: “JACKO’S SON: THE TRUST – WE SOLVE RIDDLE OF LAD, 12, HE FOUND ON HOLS”

Keith Bennett? No, it’s Omer Bhatti. Is he the product of a one-night stand between Jackson and Omer’s mum Pia, as the papers wondered? Does Jordan sleep on her front? Is the Pope a Scientologist? Let’s investigate:

MICHAEL Jackson did not set eyes on the boy who claims to be his secret son until a chance meeting in a holiday hotel. The good-looking youngster Omer Bhatti was 12 years old and enjoying a holiday with his parents. Jacko became besotted with the dimple-chinned lad who did imitations of his moonwalk.

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Erin Andrews Nude Peep Show Sex Video

ERIN Andrews, a blonde US sports caster who used to be cheerleader, is allegedly, the object of a sex tape, footage filmed though a – get this – peephole. Anorak’s Man in LA picks up his drill and squints anew:

Despite the dire warnings about comouter viruses being spread by viewings of the Erin Andrews nude hotel peephole videos, and threats against those who post it, we find it interesting that two days after the perverted, apparently criminal betrayal and unconscionable invasion of privacy was revealed to the world by the ESPN gals’ attorneys, the video is now easily accessible with a simple Google video search (on an official page where screengrabs have been available throughout).

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Amy Winehouse To Launch New Sherbet Perfume

HANDS up who wants to smell like Amy Winehouse? The Daily Star reports that Wino may be soon available in bottle form:

“Grubby Amy Winehouse is chasing a big-money deal to launch her own perfume… Amy’s dad Mitch, 58, has been trying to set up a deal for the ex-junkie, who is back from an eight-month stay in St Lucia.”

Ah, the smell of Winehouse. Anorak can confide that right now a team of scrape-ologists are relieving the Winehouse sheets of their top layer of detritus and distilling the composite flakes with Lemon Chewit and a dash of secret ingredient “X”, a tincture obtainable for Matt the Talc’s lock-up, Kentish Town.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Carlos Acosta To Play Lead In Superman The Ballet

CARLOS Acosta performs Spartacus (solos Act I and II) during at photocall and dress rehearsal at the London Coliseum in central London.

You’ll believe a man can fly…

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Sienna Miller Explodes At Balthazar Getty

PROFESSIONAL actress Sienna Miller is the star of the new film GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra. It’s a challenging role that should defy Miller being typecast as a blonde girlfriend.

Miller’s using the marketing minutes to tell Australian station Fox FM’s reporter Adam Richard to “p*** off” and that he is a “douche bag”.

Says Sienna in response to a question about her friend Balthazar Getty:

“You’ve called us scrags, bitches, knocked-up. We are not here to talk about him (Getty). But, yes, I know him and everything’s good, thank you. What a scoop! Congratulations! You’re really, really clever!”

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Micky Rourke Parties Out In London With Leonardo DiCaprio, In Pictures

MICKY Rourke is spotted leaving the Wellington Club, London, where he has been sampling the tinctures with Leonardo Dicaprio.

The joys of spotting a celebrity cannot be underestimated.

Old Mr Anorak says he is delighted that Rourke [sic] of the Rorkes-Drifts is getting on so well…

Pictures:

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Evidence That Omer Bhatti Is Michael Jackson’s 4th Child

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Is Omer Bhatti Michael Jackson’s fourth child. Third child. Second child. Only child? Seventy fifth child. Anorak investigates…

The Sun: “Jacko’s 4th Child”

Gary Coleman? Nick Griffin? Rhydian Roberts? Prince Harry Windsor? Elmo?

No, it’s Omer Bhatti. Who he?

THE dancer thought to be Michael Jackson’s secret lovechild was given a seat in the FRONT ROW at the King of Pop’s memorial service, The Sun can reveal.

And everyone one else can see in the pictures of the secret sitting in the, er, front row.

Devastated Omer Bhatti, 25, sat with head bowed and wearing dark glasses alongside the star’s grieving brothers and sisters during the poignant tribute two weeks ago.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)

Tiny Iron Owner Of Britain’s Biggest Biceps Is BA In The New A Team Film

AUDITIONS are underway for the new A Team film, and in the running to play BA is Tiny Iron, the only Brit shortlisted for the par.

Tony shows off his acting skills by flexing the “biggest biceps in the UK” at 24 inches.

But where to biceps begin and bingo wings end?

Anorak

Posted: 21st, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Jack Tweed Weeps For ‘Sick And Dirty’ Sex With Lisa O’Connor

JACK Tweed, Mr Jade Goody, continues his mission to become a bona fide celebrity by telling New! magazine readers of his sex with a glamour model.

Readers don’t hear how often Jack did it, just that Jack felt “sick and dirty” – which might be a sign that it was great sex.

The mo-del, one Lisa O’Connor, 21, recently sold her story News Of The World, offering:

“I was walking through the club, minding my own business, when Jack stood in my way to stop me. He didn’t mean anything malicious, but he was definitely trying it on. I think that was his way of flirting – but he’s just not very good at it.”

Which is why before the night was out he had penetrated her.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Blanket Speaks Out About His Father Michael Jackson

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Blanket Jackson speaks about Michael Jackson, it was not murder and burying Jacko at the Neverland Theme Park. 

DAILY MIRROR: “IS DADDY ON HOLIDAY?”

Michael Jackson’s son Blanket asks godfather heart-breaking question ‘Where’s my Daddy gone? On holiday?’

He’s at Butlin’s doing a summer season with Chris Biggins. Now go back to sleep…

Anorak

Posted: 21st, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (8)

Susan Boyle Says Fame Is Like A Demolition Ball

SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle is doing the media rounds, looking like a more varnished version of her old self, using Americanised words and functioning like a hairy puppet on Simon Cowell’s string.

This is being billed as Susan Boyle’s “comeback” – a cynical marketing-led claim for a woman who never went away – sometimes, she never even left her room to go on stage.

AGW loosk at Susan Boyle, the women who became the No Hit Wonder as she talks nonsense on US TV show Today:

Susan Boyle, has had a make over and a new purple dress and is now in Los Angeles, a long. long, way from her roots and her pussy back home in Blackburn, West Lothian.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Sony Turns Michael Jackson’s O2 Rehearsal Into His Death Film

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: AEG sells rights to Jackson’s rehearsal footage to Sony for $50million – and so the film of the death of Michael Jackson is being made. As Anorak predicted, the shows goes on.

Our Rat high in the Hollywood Hills has more on the show that will be surely billed not as a money making blockbuster, rather as a  tribute – always the tributes:

It seems like Michael Jackson’s death has single-handedly turned around the Los Angeles economy.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Russian Teen Gets Britney Spears Tattoo On Chest

IRIAN Savina so loves Britney Spears that she travelled from Yekaterinburg to Moscow to see singer dry hump a pole and lip synch. She also got a tattoo of the performer on her chest.

Well, that’s what the press says. The tattoo could be of a young Brigitte Bardot or Limahl from Kajagoogoo.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Tom Cruise Kisses Victoria Beckham At LA Galaxy Match

WHILE David Beckham was risking his neat hair and shaving contract by confronting fans at the LA Lakers / Galaxy/ Astros/ Hobos/ Milanos, Victoria Beckham was doing what she does best: being overdressed at the football and neglecting to answer the popular refrain from the terraces.

And she was not alone. To Sticky Vicky’s side was Tom Cruise, the celebrity Scientologist recruiter who wants to be friendly with the Beckhams.

Anorak’s Man with a Lens was at the game and has pictures of those important box scenes:

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Michael Jackson Advertises Child Abuse In Brazil

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: In which Michael Jackson is the face of child abuse in Brazil, and so his dead old pappy Joe Jackson.

Recently we heard how Joe Jackson, allegedly, kicked Michael in the testicles. Papa Joe never got a credit on that trademark Jackson crotch grab and the “Shamo!”, but he’s not bitter.

Now a advert by Energy in São Paulo for CRAMI, a centre for the care of abused infants and children has used a picture of Wacko Jackson with Whammo Jacko to illustrate its cause.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)

Jesus’ Face Found On Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s Left Knee

JESUS has been spotted on Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s left knee.

On her right knee you can just make out Michael Jackson…

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Metropolitan Police Sing Tribute To Michael Jackson

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: To the Wireless Festival in London last month where a Metropolitan Police officer belches out a rendition of Michael Jackon’s Rock With You.

It being what Michael Jackson would have wanted:

Tributes:

The Michael Jackson Thriller Vibrator
The Michael Jackson Butter Cow
Michael Jackson Loved A Cock A Too, With Video
Las Vegas Blogger Races To Puts On Concert In Michael Jackson’s Name
La Toya Jackson’s Musical Tribute To Michael Jackson Home-icide

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Michael Jackson’s Brother Tito Fingers The “Killer Doc”

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: The Daily Mirror’s continued serialisation of The Thoughts and Musings of Tito Jackson (Jackson third from left) deliver the font-page screamer:

“DOC SHOULD HAVE SAVED MY BROTHER.”

Grieving Tito Jackson claimed Dr Conrad Murray’s dithering as he tried to resuscitate his stricken brother wasted vital minutes that might have cost him his life.

Through the grief, Tito Jackson manages to string a new story together, and it is uttely fantastic:

“I don’t know what the time lapse was between the doctor finding him and when he called paramedics. But I believe if he had immediately called for help we might still have my brother here today, he would definitely still be alive.”

What Tito Jackson doesn’t know could occupy the Mirror for weeks.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Katie Price Wants To Finish Off Frank Lampard

KATIE Price, aka Jordan, will be remembered for epitomising irony.

Having been repeatedly billed a “self-made star”, the Queen of Irony tells the world:

“There’s actually quite a few little footies I’d do. I’d probably go back to Frank Lampard, finish what I started.”

You can read the full interview in the latest issue of…Glamour.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Michael Jackson: Jermaine Jackson Says Dr Conrad Murray Is No Doctor

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: YOU’VE heard from Officer La Toya Jackson of the Michael Jackson home-icide squad and glee club; you’ve heard Tito Jackson assure the Jackson Three that Michael is their daddy (or not); now listen up as Big Brother housemate emeritus Jermaine Jackson tells all.

With so many Jackson bairns, Michael Jackson will not much rest in pace but be forever ensconced in a vacuum of chatter.

In “DOC SHOULD HAVE SAVED MY BRO” Jermaine Jackson pulls on a medical coat and gives a second opinion on the many opinions thus far:

Tearful Jermaine, 54, asked of Dr Conrad Murray: “If he’s a doctor, why is Michael dead?”

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)

Introducing Perez Hilton’s Real Blogger Barbara Lavandeira

PEREZ Hilton can’t be bothered to write his own eponymous blog. Guannabee spots that the actual blogger is Hilton’s sister, Barbara Lavandeira:

So we’ve been doing a little internet sleuthing and we think we’ve stumbled upon a picture of Perez Hilton’s sister, Barbara Lavandeira. As we now know thanks to various court documents (but have suspected for some time now), Barbara has been cobbling together the majority of the content on Perez’s site for some time now. 

Anorak

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Peter Andre Falls From Stage

POP acron Peter Andre is live and singing and falling of the stage at T4 on the Beach at Weston-Super-Mare.

Reasons for his fall:

a) He slipped on the lake of tears for poor Pete?
b) With no Jordan to lean on, Pete has no ballast – he may one day blow away?
c) It’s the most entertaining part of his act and the hope is that people will flock to see him fall off some of the world’s greatest stages?
d) He walks like he sings?
e) It was a suicide attempt?
f) It’s what Michael Jackson would have wanted
g) None or all of the above.

Video and gallery

Anorak

Posted: 19th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)

Lady Gaga Is Covered In Kermit The Frog’s Spawn

ANORAK’S hunt for Lady Gaga’s face seemed to be over when we saw this video. But then Lady Gaga – Madonna’s camel – covered herself in Kermit The Frog’s legs and spawn and by the time we’d digested it, she’d gone:

Anorak

Posted: 19th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

La Toya Jackson’s Musical Tribute To Michael Jackson Home-icide

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Officer La Toya Jackson, Michael Jackson homicide squad, has released a musical tribute to her dear dead brother Michael Jackson.

Proceeds from Home (icide) will fund the search for Michael, who was last seen dressed in a belly top and hot pants neat “Lawrence’s” house, allegedly. Or it might well be that the monies will go to AIDS Project LA, a charity that was supported by Michael Jackson, which is more likely.

Hereunder are the song and the lyrics. You don’t need to where a pure white smock to listen to it, but it might help…

Anorak

Posted: 19th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

I Used To Be Shannen Doherty: The Hollywood Collectors & Celebrities Show

TO the Hollywood Collectors & Celebrities Show (motto: Didn’t You Use To Be…) held at the Burbank Airport Marriot Hotel and Convention Center, California.

Old Mr Anorak’s third son attends such starry dos in the hope of spotting Will Lunn, of Vission On fame.

Other who were there are pictured hereunder – can you identify them all?

Anorak

Posted: 19th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment