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Celebrities

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

One Female Big Brother Housemate Is A Man

cairon-austin-hillNEWS on Big Brother’s Cairon, the 18-year-old American.

One thing we need to clear up: Cairon is not gay.

Cairon is so straight he feels uncomfortable about wiping his own arse and only ever walks in straight lines, never walks backwards and doesn’t even know what being gay is let alone how to spell it.

Problem is, what if one of the female housemates turns out to be a man?

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Posted: 6th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Sophie Reade Eyes Ronaldo’s Flake

sophie-readeBUSTY Big Brother agonist Sophie Reade says “her dream fella is Man U’s Cristiano Ronaldo”.

But their coupling will never work. The endless fights over who gets the Touche Eclat first; the moody silences as Ron wins the Gillette for Legs contract; the fact that she can keep not one but two balls in the air for hours at a time…

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Posted: 6th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Big Brother Karly Ashworth’s Nuts Magazine Shoot

karly-ashworthKARLY ASHWORTH, the pre-Jordans Big Brother blonde, is lying on the ground, blindfolded.

A motocross bike tyre is pushed into her chest and a bike is revved next to her head.

It’s like a live Nuts magazine photoshoot. Karly has to pose for 30 seconds and not mention the word “Safeguard”.

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Big Brother Charlie And Saffia Walk On Broken Glass

MORE on Sunderland Gayza Charlie Drummond and news that he and Saffia ‘Police’ Corden have become official ‘Big Brother’ housemates after they walked on broken glass.

Having been dragged from the house by SAS men in balaclavas this morning, a man with Militarist Dementia (Ross Kemp, that you?) screeched:

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Britain’s Got Talent Winner’s Mum “Dumped Fan Mail”

george-sampsonYOU know those letter to George Sampson, the Britain’s Got Talent winner of 2008, the Hairy Dancer, the Dancing Angel, Ge-Sa, Da Sampo, the Singing In God’s Rain Tears (get on with it!)?

Well, that letter telling of your undying love for Sampson and how when you’re released you’re gonna love him something proper might have ended up in bag that George’s dumped outside her house.

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Big Brother Contestants Can Sue For Wrongful Dismissal

reality-tellyNEVER let it be said that Big Brother and all other reality TV is not hard work – at least never let it be said in France, where reality TV agonist are salaried workers.

Reality TV is no longer slice of life stuff, allowing the viewer to spy on one of the reaple (real people) meandering through life between fridge, bed and telly. Reality TV is proper work.

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Newcastle Rejects Big Brother Charlie Drummond

charlie-drummondBIG news in the north east that Big Brother winner Charlie Drummond – aka Gayza – is not from Newcastle.

It is the proud job of The Shields Gazette to announce that Charlie Drummond is from Cleadon – which is closer to Sunderland.

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Susan Boyle Sings At Demi Moore’s Wedding

demi-susan-boyleSUSAN Boyle is out of The Priory and it’s on with Part III of the plan to see if you can milk a Hairy Angel?

In “SUE MUCH BETTER”, the Mirror’s Mark Jefferies says,

“BOYLE LEAVES THE PRIORY TO BE REUNITED WITH HER PRECIOUS CAT.”

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Big Brother Freddie Fisher’s Porn Shockzzzzzzz

freddie-fisher1ONLY two newspapers lead with Big Brother: The Sun (pictures in the left-hand column of a few of the sluttier-looking housemates) and the Star, which ignores news of the House of Commons and calls for Gordon Brown to be booted out of Number 10 with an entire publication given over to “BIG BROTHER BONKERS”.

Screams the Star:

“Every one a sex-starved nutter.”

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Big Brother: Gayza, Fary Meldman And All The Housemates Nicknames

big-brother-91BIG Brother 10 has landed on your heads like an incontinent pigeon. And already Old Mr Anorak has tuned in and given the housemates nicknames. Some may stick. Some may not:

The Nicknames

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


What Happened To All The Big Brother Winners

bb-winnersBIG Brother looms like a prisoner over his bucket.

But while the 16 contestants taking part in the 10th series of Big Brother settle in, we take a look at the past winners.

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


David Carradine Hanged Filming Stretch

david_carradineDAVID Carradine, stat of Kung Fu and Kill Buill, has been found hanged a Thai hotel room.

Mr Carradine was found dead at the Park Nai Lert Hotel in Bangkok.

The actor was discovered with a cord around his neck and other parts of his naked body, said police.

His personal manager Chuck Binder described the hanging as “accidental“.

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (11)


Pictures Of Michael Jackson’s Children

michael_jackson_children_2MICHAEL Jackson’s children unmasked.

The Daily Mail has:

Unmasked: A rare glimpse of Michael Jackson’s kids faces as they visit a recording studio

For all those Mail readers keen to perve, sorry, ogle, sorry, appreciate Prince Michael I, 12, and Paris Michael, 11, there  are pictures after the jump…

michael-jacksons-children

Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)


Jade Goody’s Big Brother Tribute Act

jack-tweed1THE plot to make Big Brother’s Jack Tweed interesting moves on. And we join Mr Jade Goody on a night out in London with women various.

The Mail captions one image:

Out you go: After realising the cameras were watching, Tweed tried to push the girls out of his cab when outside club Movida

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)


Hollie Steel Ate My Hamster

ANORAK reader Bat E. Bird looks at Britain’s Got Talent’s Hollie Steel:

Second-chance Hollie Steel sparks TV complaints

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Mike Jones Photoshop Hip-Hop

mikejones-swaggMIKE Jones is the Photoshop Hip-Hop man with da swagg through da roof.

So much swagg does Jones have he needs a Rolls 2CV to take it home in…

Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Girl Aloud Singer Takes Scales to Fish Supper

nadine-coyleTHAT’S Nadine Coyle the Girls Aloud singer at London’s Ivy eatery.

The Sun says:

She shocked diners at The Ivy when she asked the waiter to bring her a portion of plain fish with no vegetables or even a drop of sauce.

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Jonas Brothers And Spray-On STDs

jonas-brothersTHE clean-cut Jonas Brothers’ video feature the trio spraying their lip-glossed fans with white foam from hoses held at waist height.

In Good Housekeeping – rock ‘n’ loo rolls edition – the Jonai Mum talks about her virginal boys’ sex lives.

If there is one thing guaranteed to put every Priapic boy outside small farming communities and the Forest of Dean off sex it is to hear mum talking about it.

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)


Susan Boyle Extends Her Sympathies To Gordon Brown

susan-boyle-nutsSUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s-at-a-glance look at Susan Boyle in the news – featuring the madness of Susan Boyle, Gordon Brown and Britain Wot Talent?

You Scum!

Today she’s in a London psychiatric clinic, suffering from “emotional exhaustion.” Thanks to us – Lauren Beckham Falcone, Boston Herald

Turning Her Back On Fame

“She told me that after the final, she wants to come back and resume her previous life,” one of Boyle’s neighbours, 24-year-old housewife Vicky McLean, told the Mail on Sunday newspaper.

“She doesn’t want to make millions and go to America, she just wants to sing. I think all she really hopes to have out of it is enough money to buy her house”AFP

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Susan Boyle’s Engagement Ring

susan-boyle-pebblesOF all the clinics in all the world, Susan Boyle had to walk into The Priory.

The North London rehab hang out can be reached by a paparazzo in half an hour from China Whites and slightly longer from Faces, the Essex slap and pap venue.

Good for SuBo PR, but less good for Pebbles, Susan Boyle’s live-in cat that must travel from afar to see his mistress.

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)


Gordon Gekko’s Daughter Gordi

WALL Street 2: Need Is good is in the making. And we meet Gordi Gekko – Gordella – Gondola:

Dealbreaker, via Nikki Finke’s Deadline Daily has news on Wall Street II:

Michael Douglas, as everyone already knows, reprises his Best Actor Oscar-winning role as Gordon Gekko. But what hasn’t been reported is that, as the movie begins, it’s 21 years later and Mr. Greed Is Good has finished serving his prison sentence. He finds himself on the fringe of the financial community. Gekko is cautioning Wall Street that the “end is coming” — but nobody is listening. So Gordon is obsessed with trying to repair his ruptured relationship with his daughter.

Gekkos’s ruptured daughter is called..?

Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Spencer Pratt And Heidi Back In the Jungle

spencer-prattSPENCER Pratt is the shiny-toothed, vapid, Fauntleroy-headed American celeb with the estate agent looks – the epitome of nominative determinism – who has been on the US version of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!.

Pratt has now left. After one day. He took his other half,  Heidi Montag – yeah, Heidi, as in the auld-Nazi goat girl – with him.

This picture is of the gruesome twosome arriving back in LA.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Melissa Joan Hart Prays For Farrah Fawcett’s Cover

melissa-joan-hartBY now you’ll be wondering what happened to Melissa Joan Hart, the former “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” star.

Well, news is that she got large – or become a woman of “stature”, a Americans have it. She was heavy. She was what we British call a bloater. She was fat. Fat. FAT!

Now slimmer than she was,. Melissa is on the cover of People magazine and, as Page Six reports, “overheard off-camera at KTLA in Los Angeles on Friday saying how she’d been hoping last week that cancer-stricken Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die – and thus bump Hart off the cover of People magazine.”

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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Nilanti Narain Is Savita Bhabhi: Gallery

nilanti_narainNILANTI NARAIN is Indian comic book porn star Savita Bhabhi made flesh and, well, more flesh. And some more flesh.

When the film of the comics comes to be made, Nilanti Narain’s a shoo-in for the lead role – with well-placed plant pots and 1950s trombones-style slides.

Think British porn’s Confessions Of... series, with an Indian Robin Askwith’s bottom going up and down to zany sound effects and yelps of delight:

Here’s the gallery- NSFW:

Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)


Kerry Katona And Katie Price United At Last

kerry-katieIN this week’s OK! Jordan and Kerry Katona “FIGHT BACK”.

Jordan: “YOU CAN’T TAKE MY CHILDREN AWAY FROM ME.”

Kerry Katona: “’I’D KILL MYSELF IF IT WASN’T FOR MY KIDS.’”

No pressure, little Katonas, but a wrong word and mum dies.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)