Katie Price and Peter Andre Interview In Full

IN this week’s OK!, Katie Price delivers “THE TRUTH” about “OUR SPLIT”.

The cover shot is of a woman who looks almost familiar. It turns out that this is not any number of women from US daytime soaps or a young Nolan sister but Katie Price. Her face appears changed.

Old Mr Anorak suggests the real Katie Price has gone into hiding and this is an imposter. But surely being a Katie Price impersonator is a hard job, akin to pinning down a mobile target.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price Smells Worse Than Britney Spears And Jade Goody

AH, the smell of Katie Price, Jordan’s eponymous scent, produced from her distilled bed linen and scrapings from the inside of her person, close friends and sources.

But news from the world of official celebrity perfumes is grim:

Days after splitting with her husband Peter Andre, it has been revealed Katie Price’s celebrity scent has also sent the public packing.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Katie Price To Sue Newspapers Over Divorce From Peter Andre

DAY Eight of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Katie Price sues, Peter comes back and a surprise party…

Today Jordan wants OK! readers to know that he is hurting.

The Daily Mirror surmises the text of Jordan’s tan ‘n’ tell on its front page:

“I love my husband but I can’t sit around crying”

Anorak

Posted: 20th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)

Paris Hilton Is Queen Of The Monkeys

Paris Hilton’s mates pick monkey poo – D-listed

Mel Gibson – good Catholic boy – abstains from birth control – TMZ

It’s easy to dislike Lily Allen- PITNB

MeMe – I’m Not Obsessed

No House Martin – Red Stated

Anorak

Posted: 19th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Patrick Swayze RIP: CCN Alert

PATRICK Swayze  RIP – well Florida Radio Station KISS FM says Patrick Swayze has been beaten by cancer.

It’s an alert on CCN – YOUR CCN –  Anorak’s Celebrity Cancer news service.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Hello Magazine: Meg Matthews And Peter Sidell

MEG Matthews is getting engaged to Peter Sidell in Hello!.

What, Peter Sidell the art professor?

Yeah, the art professor.

And that’s Meg Matthews the…

The Megsta! The Megadon! The Megamegamega.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Beyonce Loses A Finger: Pictures

THE singer.

It’s horrible.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Angels And Demons: Tom Hanks’ Australian Marriage

TOM Hanks seems to be, well, nice. News that he has stepped in to make an Australian couple’s wedding unforgettable:

TRAPPED in a flood of tourists and heavy traffic on her wedding day, Aussie bride Natalia Dearnley was stunned when movie star Tom Hanks rushed to her aid…

The crowds, traffic and film crew had combined to force her wedding car to a halt some distance from her destination – the Pantheon, Rome’s historic domed temple. But Hanks saw her plight, yelled “cut!” and rushed over to rescue her.

He said later: “Her limo couldn’t deliver her to the door, so I offered my arm so she could get hitched.”

Natalia laughed: “I’ve never met a celeb before, we just went straight for the A-list!”

Anorak

Posted: 19th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price Reads Peter Andre’s ‘Sick’ Diary

DAY Seven of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Peter Andre’s album, Katie Twitters and a diary…

Beep! Beep! What do you think of it so far, Katie – in 140 characters or less?

Writing on her Twitter account, she said: “This is such an awful time for us and I really appreciate all your messages and support.”

The fans are all in matters of private grief and divorce. Writing in his New magazine journal, Peter Andre notes…

Anorak

Posted: 19th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Paris Hilton Rocks Katie Price On Peter Andre’s New Album

DAY Seven of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Peter Andre’s record deal, Paris Hilton doesn’t eat that and Pete is massive!

So much for the button mushroom

And one of Peter’s pals told press, “Things haven’t been right for [Katie and Peter] in the bedroom for almost two years now. To put it bluntly, Jordan stopped fancying him. This caused big problems because she has a huge sex drive.” – Celebrity Gossip

Huge! Massive! Huuuugggeee!

Anorak

Posted: 19th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Michael Jackson Falls Apart

MICHAEL Jackson is frail. Michael Jackson has cancer. Michael Jackson will only survive if you clap your hand to your crotch loud enough and serve him your first bon on a platter of Jesus Juice.

So here’s the Michael Jackson game – a fun-for-all-the-family version of the media’s Michael Jackson narrative.

Michael Jackson is falling apart during the “This is it!” concerts, Play now and watch!

Free online game to save Michael Jackson!

Michael Jackson Faces The Media’s Favourite Story

Anorak

Posted: 18th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Paris Hilton Dreams Of Being Bulimic: Video

IN “Paris: Di hopes ruined by sex tape”, the Sun brings us news that Paris Hilton has given up on being Princess Diana, her dream and her idol:

PARIS HILTON says her scandalous life has prevented her from fulfilling her dream of being like PRINCESS DIANA.

Paris could never be…

Blonde? A celebrity? A serial dater? Rich? Hanging about in hotels? Raising awareness of sexually transmitted disease? A Queen of Tarts/ Hearts / Clubs/ Diamonds? Bulimic? Killed in, er, Paris?

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 18th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Farrah’s Story: Pictures Of Farrah Fawcett’s Celebrity Cancer

FARRAH Fawcett’s Celebrity Cancer update: Anorak’s Man In LA watches the show – Farrah’s Story on NBC Friday night – and asks:

Make you a little queasy? Uncomfortable about the exploitation and exploitative methods? Confused about the validity or effectiveness of the “alternative” treatment she received in Germany?

Thank NBC News for that. They’re the ones who took what could have been an historic, agenda-shifting subject and turned it into the equivalent of an Americanized version of a British reality show: in this case, the televised death of Jade Goody.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Katie Price Divorce Shocker: Peter Andre Back With ‘The Boys’

DAY Six of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Peter Andre’s new album; Peter Andre’s new show; and Peter Andre’s strippers…

Can live get better for poor Peter Andre? The Mirror investigates:

Meanwhile, two major record labels are said to be in a £1.5million bidding war to get their hands on Peter’s comeback album.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Katie Price and Peter Andre Divorce Exclusive: Kate Moss Shelves Book

SADIE Frost and Kate Moss and Katie Price and Jordan have something in common. Now read on…

Sadie Frost has installed double glazing and stuck tampons in her ears, but even she can no longer resist the public clamour for an act-’n’-tell book about her time with Jude Law. Or, as the Mirror puts it:

Sadie Frost has finally given in to pressure to write the tell-all biography we’ve all been dying to read – and promises it’ll be juicy.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Prince Edward: A Year In Pictures

TIME now for Anorak’s regular annual look to see what Prince Edward has been up to, the mad rascal.

The Mail manages to pin down Eddie “in a rare public outing” as he, his hard-working wife Sophie, their five-year-old Lady Louise Windsor and 17-month-old James, Viscount Severn, attend the Royal Windsor Horse Show.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Apprentice: Ben Clarke’s Bush Tucker Trial

NEWS on The Apprentice “posh boy” Ben Clarke, who not only looks like a bloated Coronation Street’s David Platt being eater by a suit by has swallowed a “LIVE GOLDFISH whole”.

Lest you be unimpressed, the News of The World calls it “a sick stunt at a boozy birthday bash”.

Ben Clarke become the “shark in a suit” cheered on by a “crowd of guffawing toffs”.

Then:

“Ben then egged on his drunken friends to swill down 15 MORE goldfish.”

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price Turned Down By Two Men

OVER the newswires, news that Katie Price has been turned down by a Gary Farrow.

Who he? A gay barman at Club Strumpet? A horse?

No. Gary Farrow is a PR man who represents, among others, Jonathan Ross, Sir Elton John and the Osbourne family. He is said to have declined Katie’s offer to represent her.

Says he:

“We’ve spoken but I’m afraid she doesn’t really fit in with my current client base.”

Too high brow?

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Britain’s Got Talent: Natalie Okri Attacked

IN “BULLIES BEAT ME UP” – Star readers learn that Britain’s Got Talent’s Natalie Okri:

“CHILD singing sensation” Natalie Okri was “beaten up by jealous rivals after starring on Britain’s Got Talent”.

Usually, the back story is that the BGT wannabe was bullied before they went on the show, and now they have become a star they have won the war.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

The ‘Other Man’ In Katie Price Peter Andre Divorce Is A Woman

DAY Six of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: with Rebecca Loos, a gay barman and horses…

The Star leads with a picture of David Beckham sexter Rebecca Loos and he headline:

“PETER BLAMED ME FOR STEALING JORDAN.”

It’s Rebecca Loos. Is the woman who claimed to have shagged David Beckham the other “Man” that Katie Price told The Apprentice agonist Mona Lewis she loved?

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Katie Price “In Love With Another Man”

DAY Six of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Katie is “in love with another man”…

Says the Sunday Mirror:

Katie Price confessed her marriage was over and declared: “I’m in love with another man” two months before her public split with Peter Andre.

The glamour queen poured out her heart for three hours and said: “Me and Pete are splitting up… I’ve fallen for someone else.”

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Michael Jackson Faces The Media’s Favourite Story

NEWS on Anorak’s alert system CCN (Celebrity Cancer News) that Michael Jackson has skin cancer.

The Sun delivers the bleep:

DEFIANT MICHAEL JACKSON is determined to make a full recovery after doctors assured him that his skin cancer is treatable…Experts found spots of skin cancer on his upper body and pre-cancerous cells on his face.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Britain’s Got Talent: Natalie Okri Sings For Her Supper With Aidan Davis

IT’S Britain’s Got Talent, the show that gives the few Britons not already celebrities the chance to join the masses.

Here’s little Natalie Okri, who for ten bleak years has been overlooked for parts in Casualty, nappy adverts and Annie.

Says Okri:

“I sing at home and I sometimes even sing when I am having my dinner. I want to be a singer and a diva and I definitely want to be like Beyonce.”

Anorak

Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Masterchef Saves The Planet

THE Guardian stands back and gives TV chef John Torode space to see if by not eating meat for a week he can save the world. The Guardian’s front-page headline:

“Can Vegetarianism save the world? Masterchef gives up meat to find out”

Anorak

Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price Sends Secret Message To Peter Andre

DAY Five of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Katie is sending out a secret message by internet telegram Twitter to Pete…

KATIE Price has sent a message to pop acorn Peter Andre – over the public broadcast service that is Twitter. Peter, come in Peter – do you read me, Peter. Over?

“I’m still keeping a dignified silence. I have made no comments, they are made up.”

Stop.

“I’m heartbroken. I never wanted any of this. We all miss Pete.”

Stop.

Coming home

Pete: “Stop… coming… home. Over.”

Peter: “Stop coming home! How can she be so cruel. In school. With drool. Play the fool. Spool. Cagoule.”

Chorus: Awww Pete!”

Peter: “Jordan. Warden. Gordon (Brown) – heeee know howwww ai feeeeel. Jordan. Last Tube to Morden, via Bank…”

Repeats until OK! deal is signed.

Jordan and Pete’s PR masterclass

The Other Woman In Katie Price And Peter Andre’s Divorce Tells All
Kerry Katona And Jade Goody React To Katie Price Divorce
Katie Price And Peter Andre Divorce: Sex Tapes With Animals
The Other Man In Katie Price and Peter Andre’s Divorce Tells All
Harvey Gets The House In Katie Price And Jordan Divorce
Jordan And Peter Andre Divorce: Video
Dr Peter Andre Serenades Jordan
Jordan And Peter Andre Move House
Jordan And Peter Andre Return To The US
Jordan And Peter Andre’s Naked Publicity Stunt
Katie Price And Peter Andre See Each Other For First Time And Split
Katie Price and Peter Andre Split Exclusive: Jordan Tells All
Katie Price Splits From Agents
Katie Price And Andre Are Back Together

Anorak

Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment