Kerry Katona And Jade Goody React To Katie Price Divorce

DAY Five of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: the columnists react to the, er non story…

Fiona Philips

Ask anyone who’s been in a successful marriage for a decent length of time and they’ll say, “you have to work at it”.

Go on, just ask…

Well, to give them their due, Katie Price and Peter Andre certainly worked at theirs. They worked at it in glossy magazines, downmarket magazines, on telly, in books – anywhere they could, they worked it.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)

The Other Woman In Katie Price And Peter Andre’s Divorce Tells All

SOME more refreshingly ambiguous reporting on the Katie Price – Peter Andre divorce as the Telegraph brings readers:

Katie Price ‘lines up Sir Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer’ against Peter Andre

A statement of fact – followed by a teaser of circumspection:

Anorak

Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Peter Andre Speaks About His Divorce From Katie Price

DAY Five of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Pete is sobbing, Katie is tanning and the columnist are sniping and praying…

In the Star, readers hear from Peter Andre:

PETE: KATE’S DESTROYED ME

Anorak

Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Real New York Housewife Bethenney Frankel Is Peta’s Dumb Naked Animal Of The Month

PETA, the self-appointed voices of dumb animals, have secured the services of Bethenny Frankel to be their Dumb Animal Of The Month.

Frankel is a natural foods chef and is currently on The Real Housewives of New York City on Bravo. In 2009 Frankel published ‘Naturally Thin – Unleash Your Skinnygirl & Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting’.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Farrah Fawcett’s Celebrity Cancer

FARRAH Fawcett’s Celebrity Cancer is on the Today show. It’s not a star entertaining – it’s to “inspire”.

But the idea that the star who only exists on the TV dying on the TV helps anyone in reality is flawed. It’s her last role.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Katie Price Implicated In MPs Expenses Row

KATIE Price was once a prospective MP. In 2001, she was on the hustings in Greater Manchester, standing for the Stretford and Urmston seat, which includes Manchester United’s Old Trafford ground.

Jordan’s battlebus – a blue convertible Vauxhall Astra – led the campaign for “For a Bigger and Betta Future”, a manifesto that included free cosmetic surgery, free season tickets and lower taxes for anyone shagging a footballer. A demographic that at the time inlcuded Jordan, who was allowing Dwight Yorke to hone his ball skills on her chests.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Farrah Fawcett’s Entertaining Death

BEEP! WE interrupt this publication to bring you news from CCN (Celebrity Cancer News). Farrah Fawcett has cancer, and stars in Farrah’s Story, the story of a woman’s battle with cancer.

The Daily Mail has pictures:

Farrah Fawcett pictured in her hospital bed: Heart-rending documentary shows early stages of Angel’s cancer battle.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)

Sex And The City Actress Champions Abortion For Mothers Day

SEX And The City actress Cynthia Nixon is in support of what Tim Graham calls “Abortion Incorporated: the Planned Parenthood Federation of America”.

I am Cynthia Nixon. I am an actor, an activist, a mom, a daughter. But today, I am writing to you about motherhood, on behalf of Planned Parenthood and the many people they serve…

As Mother’s Day approaches, I am so grateful for the opportunity to make a difference and hope you’ll join me.

This Mother’s Day, you can make your gift in honor of someone you love. And the fine folks at Planned Parenthood will send that special person a special card saying you’ve chosen to make a gift to Planned Parenthood Federation of America in her or his name.

You’ll be making a gift to millions of mothers — and to a generation of daughters and sons. What a profound way to mark this day.

Graham puts his point succinctly:

The pitch says nothing about the millions of daughters and sons who have been liquidated in Planned Parenthood facilities.

But even better than his considered thoughts are the commentors on his blog. And do bear in mind that Nixon left the father of ther chidlern to live with a woman.

“My son was very little [when it happened], but my daughter has a gay uncle [and her godmothers] are lesbians.”

Now read on:

But I wouldn’t take Cynthia Nixon’s advice for anything. She went from being in a relationship with a man to being in a relationship with a woman and she’s only one space alien abduction away from being Anne Heche – gotham pc

The guiding philosophy of Planned Parenthood is that if you didn’t plan her, kill her. Now there’s a warm message we can all embrace, isn’t it? – KC Mulville

I just puked in my mouth…is she serious??? I say “abortions for everyone”!!!! thats what she should of been saying.
have ya seen the “guy” she with? wow – Charlietexas

Why yes! Send your mom a beautiful card announcing that her grandchild was cut up into little bits and dropped into a plastic bucket!! And then thank her for making you such a strong person. She’ll be so proud – MidAmerica

The only difference between the Holocost [sic] and Abortion, is the age of the victim – Poovey

Agree or disagree there is no hiding the fact that when a celebrity speaks they act as polemicist – however trite their views…

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Susan Boyle Supports Miss USA

SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle becomes a political force for climate change and Miss USA…

Jesus Christ  Super Boyle

Susan Boyle is to be given a role in a West End musical, courtesy of Andrew Lloyd Webber, according to reports. Lord Lloyd Webber, 61, is behind shows such as The Phantom of the Opera, Jesus Christ Superstar and Cats.

He recently met Boyle, the internet sensation from Britain’s Got Talent, at a recording studio in London and he told The Sun he had a role for her.

“She is a terrific sport and she’s a great fan of my shows,” he said.

“If she wanted to be in one, well it could happen. It would have to be the right role. Maybe I know what it could be, but I’m not telling. She’s got a great future” – Telegraph, Sun

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Katie Price And Peter Andre Reunite For Eurovision

LOCAL newspapers are not dead – they are merely looking for a connection with Katie Price, aka Jordan.

In the East Herts Herald, Katie Price is big news. No, she doesn’t live in the area. No, she has not fled to the region, opting for a villa in the Maldives ahead of bed and breakfast in Bishops Stortford’s Pussy Willow hotel. But there is a connection:

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lindsay Lohan Is Homeless

LINDSAY Lohan, Hollywood poppet, the Little Oprhan Annie that found a family, is homeless…

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism | Comment

EastEnders Stacey Is Bi-Polar

THOSE of you having trouble separating fact from fiction should know that EastEnders slapper-in-residence Stacey Slater is going to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)

Scarlett Johansson Cut

WHY was Scarlett Johansson’s directing efforts cut from the film New York I Love You? The film’s producer explains:

“The story did not specifically involve an interpersonal relationship, and it was conceptualized to be filmed in black and white – both of which were extreme departures from the other films. Scarlett presented me with an extremely compelling, albeit unconventional, narrative that appeared as though it would not necessarily conform to the overall approach of the entire collective.”

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price Splits From Agents

NEXT month Katie Price and Peter Andre are due in the Us to meet with reps to discuss projects. Anorak hopes that all the front-page news does not detract from their fame and put the Americans off.

Now we learn that Katie Price has split from her management company, Can Associates Limited.

The organisation will continue to represent Peter Andre.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Other Man In Katie Price and Peter Andre’s Divorce Tells All

JORDAN and Peter Andre Divorce Masterclass: Day 3: Jordan’s other man.

In “JORDAN JUMPER: I DIDN’T JUMP HER”, the Sun’s Brian Flynn introduces readers to “Married Andrew Gould, 28”, the “hunky horseman”, who says sex with Jordan is “out of the equestrian” and, “We’ve never had a relationship.”

Adding:

“I’m not interested in her at all that way. There’s no reason for Pete to be jealous.”

So that’s it. Move on. Here’s the Mirror’s front page:

“I am the man who broke up Jordan’s marriage – “HORSE HUNK REVEALS ALL.”

Back in the Sun:

He pointed out his wife was among the group who joined Jordan at a Bristol club after the Badminton Horse Trials. Wife Polly, 29, said: “We’re all just friends.”

That would be his wife who was out of shot in every picture published in the press? Will all now be revealed? The wife, of whom the Star says:

The handsome dressage trainer, who has two sons with his PR executive wife Polly, 29, has stables in West Sussex near Kate’s home.

Andrew adds:

“I did say I wasn’t the guy in the club. I didn’t mind it coming out, but Kate didn’t want Pete to know I was there because of how he reacts.”

Here’s the angle – the boozy meeting in city nightclub with the most recognisable chest in showbiz was clandestine…

Andre is asked if he knew Jordan before he sat her on a horse?

“Before Kate came to my stables I never really knew anything of her. I don’t follow the celebrity world. These rumours I hear of what she was like out clubbing, and seeing pictures of her falling out of clubs — I’ve never seen that side of her.”

How the press love pictures of Jordan in clubs, eh… And right now the hacks love Andrew Gould:

The riding champ, who has posed for saucy model pics in the past, claims he drove Jordan’s hubby “Insania” with jealousy… Andrew, one of the top five riders in the country, has posted a moody David Beckham-style pose on his official website.

And the press loves Twitter. So though Jordan has “fled” to the Maldives with her children, she finds time to send the fans a message in 140 characters or less:

“Thank you for all your support. It means so much.”

How much we might find out next month when Katie and Pete are due to meet with their agent in the US…

Jordan and Pete’s PR masterclass

Harvey Gets The House In Katie Price And Jordan Divorce
Jordan And Peter Andre Divorce: Video
Dr Peter Andre Serenades Jordan
Jordan And Peter Andre Move House
Jordan And Peter Andre Return To The US
Jordan And Peter Andre’s Naked Publicity Stunt
Katie Price And Peter Andre See Each Other For First Time And Split
Katie Price and Peter Andre Split Exclusive: Jordan Tells All

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Harvey Gets The House In Katie Price And Jordan Divorce

KATIE PRICE and Peter Andre are “AT WAR”. So says the Mirror’s front page, which spots Price armed with her famous Jordan bazookas (TM) take on Peter’s Agent Orange.

Its turns out this is remote war, fought with technology over vast distances. Andre is in Cyprus with his brothers. Jordan is in the Maldives with their two youngest children.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Jordan And Peter Andre Divorce: Video

PETER ANDRE and Jordan are to divorce.

Well, that’s what the PR says, and the spokeswhores, and the press and the ITV insiders. And the Mirror:

Katie Price exclusive: See more video of Jordan drunk on night that sparked Peter Andre divorce

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Britain’s Got Talent: Peter Andre Duets With Shaun Smith

NOT too late for Peter Andre to enter Britain’s Got Talent to plug his new single, but he should hurry as Shaun Smith marches on.

The 17-year-old is now second favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent, having given full throat to Bill Withers’ Ain’t No Sunshine. (If Jordan is looking to sing once more, she could do worse than this hit –

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Dr Peter Andre Serenades Jordan

NOW split from Katie Price and her Jordans, Peter Andre would like to be called a Doctor.

Dr Peter has penned Call Me A Doctor, a tune that puts his dream of being a man of letters into verse.

Sings Pete:

She was my girl, my closest friend, my honey,

This girl was all I ever needed,

What will I do now that I’m leaving?

It hurts bad ‘cos I was true to her,

I’m regretting having anything to do with her.

Not since Dr and The Medics took us on up to the Spirit in the Sky has a medical man put so much heart into his throat. Not since ever has an orange doctor rhymed “her” with “her” so effectively.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Jordan And Peter Andre Move House

MORE news on Jordan, aka Katie Price, and Peter Andre in the Sun as Anila Baig plays Tabloid Bingo. Eyes Down:

I DON’T know who I feel more betrayed by, MPs with their expenses or Jordan and Peter Andre for splitting up halfway through their TV series.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jordan And Peter Andre Return To The US

JORDAN is not on the cover of OK! magazine, not even as Katie Price.

But the TV ad says the magazine is about Jordan, and inside readers turn to page, er, 128 to read “Dear Jordan”, the model’s tips of advice, sex and love.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Peaches Geldof Models Camel Toe Fashion

PEACHES Geldof is pictured in a silver jumpsuit, which clings to her “every curve”, including what Old Mr Anorak terms her “man cock”.

Those in the know call this a “Camel Toe”, this decade’s female tribute to drainpipe jeans and the spray on Spandex worn by 1970s rock gods, such as featured on the cover of the Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers album and the scene in Spinal Tap where the legend’s lunch box is padded out with a cucumber wrapped in foil.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Russell Brand Turns Up Holly Madison

RUSSELL Brand is reported to have “bagged” Playboy bunny “HOLLY MADISON”, former girlfriend of ancient Playboy boss “HUGH HEFNER”.

This news in big print offers up the opportunity for another of Brand’s infamous phone calls, as he dials the Playboy Mansion and tells Hefner that he’s shagging a woman young enough to be his granddaughter on a swing, rocking chair or stair lift.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Mel Gibson “Excommunicated By His Own Church”

MEL Gibson “shelled out $1million PER WEEK to keep Robyn’s lip zipped about the split while he huddled with priests at his renegade, hard-core Catholic church about how to divorce without being excommunicated!”

Anorak is no expert on ecumenical matters and defers to Cardinal Sin, who tells us that in matters of Catholic confusion it is best to blame a) The Jews, b) Women, c) Jewish women d) All of the above, e) curious boys.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (77)

Jennifer Aniston And Brad Pitt Get A Hotel Room

JENNIFER Aniston and Brad Pitt are “back together”.

There’s a “secret hotel reunion”. There are “tearful daily calls”. He’s “wearing her necklace”.

Grazia magazine’s cover trails a welter of facts.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)