Lisa Rinna Had Pirate Copy Swine Flu

LISA Rinna says she had Swine Flu in her house before it became populas and, well, mainstream.

Says the US soap actress.

“I believe we all, except for myself, had the swine flu at our house… We had it before it came out… We had it at our house, I believe, and everyone is fine,” Rinna bragged to reporters.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jennifer Ellison Plays Spot the Dodgeball

JENNIFER ELLISON is the face and balls of Doritos Dodgeball Challenge, a live gaming experience enabling members of the public to fire dodgeballs at “real people” eating crisps.

Like Jennifer.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Paris Hilton Flies To Mexico

PARIS Hilton has been “studying” swine flu.

How can only be best-guessed at, but rumours are that she’s discovered the Charlotte’s Web Code and been asking friends if she’d look better with a turned-up nose.

Of course, swine flu is going to kill us all, just like the Ebola virus did, bird flu did, SARS did…

Asked if she was concerned about the outbreak that has killed dozens in Mexico, Hilton said, “I don’t eat that.”

Anorak

Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism | Comment

Baron-Cohen’s Bruno Fools Amercian Idol’s Paula Abdul

AMERICAN Idol’s in-house cheerleader Paula Abdul says she was fooled by Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno character.

Abdul recalls how she was told she had won an award in Germany and was interviewed by Bruno.

What award she does not say, but rumours are of her being in the running for such gongs as Making Simon Cowell Look Good Award, Services To Hand-Clapping and Most Encouraging Use Of Sequins.

Says she:

“At 2 in the morning, I woke up in a sweat and I went: ‘Oh my God’ And I’m dying, because you don’t expect it.”

Anorak

Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Susan Boyle Rival DJ Talent Arrested

IT’S Britain’s Got Talent’s DJ Talent, the gold-mawed DJ who led the crowd in the chant: “You say Britain, I say Talent, Britain’s Got Talent, it’s DJ Talent”.

Make it stop!

And no sooner said than done, as the Sun screams: “Rapper Talent on sex pic rap.”

Brian Flynn and Rhodri Phillips tell readers:

An ex-lover of TV rapper DJ Talent branded him “crazy” last night after he stalked her and blackmailed her with explicit sex photos. Fawne Cox, 27, said she was terrorised by the Britain’s Got Talent hopeful after she dumped him for being tight-fisted and having bad breath.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (11)

Jade Goody’s Jack Tweed Sees Boy George Naked

WITH Jade Goody resting, Jackiey Budden in Tenerife and Kerry Katona auditioning for Jade, the Sun looks to Jack Tweed to keep the Goody Brand alive.

And today it gives readers:

Jacke Tweed flees naked Boy George in jail shower

Alex West is peering through the bars to see:

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

‘Britney Spears’ Arrested

NEWS now on Britney Spears. And news via the newswires that:

“Two men ordered to stay away from Britney Spears.”

How hard it is to stay away from Spears is something Anorak put to the test.

We dressed a mother of two with a history of mental illness and need-to-be-noticed issues in a blonde wig; we then extended the blonde wig by way of another longer blonde wig.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Pamlea Anderson Is Peta’s Dumb Animal Of The Month

PAMELA Anderson is all chicken fillets and offal –  and now the face and attachments of she’s the opening attraction at New York City’s new Prime 333 Steakhouse and Sapphire strip club.

Yeah, stripping and a New York strip. Geddit?

As noted:

Pamela Anderson opened a steakhouse, and her blouse, last night in New York City. But in true Pammy style, it wasn’t just a meat factory, it’s also a strip club. Yes, Sapphire Gentleman’s Club debuted a Big Apple location that will serve as part of Prime 333 Steakhouse on the Upper East Side.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

New York Town Changes Name To Brangelina

BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been breathing the air in the Long Island town of Oyster Bay, N.Y.

The locals react:

“When you talk to someone who has met them they’re kind of glowing. People love saying they saw them. They feel something very special happened to them.” – The Oyster Bay Town Supervisor

Like their minds have been taken over. There’s more:

“They looked out of place because they were so beautiful. They looked like they were airbrushed when they were walking. I went up to Brad and asked if he needed help and he said, ‘No thanks.’ I was looking at him but I don’t really remember it – it was like a dream.” – Katherine Pastore, a manager at Stop & Shop

“She was in my aisle and everyone was kind of looking at her or going up to her. She looked great. She had on these leggings and sunglasses and signed a few autographs.” – a local resident

People, via D-listed

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Six Toes: Pictures

HOLLYWOOD actress Jennifer Lover Hewitt has six toes on her right foot – one of them protrudes from her heel causing her to lean further to the right than Osama bin Laden with his right leg blown off….

Thanks to Maxim magazine for not pandering to conventional images of beauty…

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Kerry Katona Teaches Aliens About Coke

STOP Press: Kerry Katona tells OK! readers that she’s giving up the celebrity life.

Cue OK!’s first foray into the employment agency game:

NEW JADE GOODY WANTED

OK! magazine is looking for a new blonde to fill its pages with scenes from her life in the Argos jewellery display case.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

OK!: Patsy Kensit’s Marathon Wedding

In this week’s OK! actress Patsy Kensit reveals:

“IT’S TAKEN 23 YEARS FOR US TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE.”

Hey, we can’t all be athletic, Patsy. You take you time. We can wait.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Holmes Kisses Susan Boyle

BRITAIN’S Got Talent favourite Susan Boyle is this year’s must-have celebrity accessory as Katie Holmes says she loves La Boyle.

Says Katie:

“I think she’s great.”

Great.

“I think whatever she wants to do, she can do.”

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)

Video Of Susan Boyle Singing In Gay Stage Show

SUSAN Boyle sings on Michael Barrymore’s My Kind of People in 1995.

Michael Barrymore is no close relation to actress Drew Barrymore, who opined:

“Well who am I – after [47] years of a life decision to tell her who she should kiss,” Drew said sweetly. “But I hope it’s a good one!”

Was kisisng a gay TV host a “good one”?

As the Times reports:

She was reduced to crouching on the floor as she sang I Don’t Know How To Love Him from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar.

Reduced? Heresy?

Barrymore then began singing himself before grabbing Boyle and kissing her.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Susan Boyle’s Rock Star Makeover

SUSAN Boyle’s Rock Band update. Unless you’ve been living under a rock…

Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last few weeks, you would have heard people raving about Susan Boyle, the middle aged woman from a village in Scotland’s west Lothian – Leon Gettler, SMH

By now the name Susan Boyle probably at least has a familiar ring to it, unless you’ve been living under a rock – Omie Drawhorn Moscow-Pullman

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, there’s a good chance you’ve already heard of the jaw-dropping performance of internet sensation Susan Boyle – Rose Quintiliano Canyon News

Anyone keen to live under a rock, do get in touch..

Susan Boyle – all things to all media…

Pictures and Icons:

Susan Boyle Secret Picture Gallery
Pictures: Susan Boyle Naked
Susan Boyle’s New Hair And Face Makeover: Pictures
Susan Boyle’s New Eyebrows
Susan Boyle’s New Image Bikini Body
Susan Boyle Is A Fake: Proof
The Susan Boyle Barbie Doll
Susan Boyle Models Kate Moss
Susan Boyle: Simple Susie’s New Teeth
Shy Susan is Armani Dolce...

Disciples

Susan Boyle Joins Tony Blair On American Idol
Beyonce Offers Duet With Susan Boyle
Angelina Jolie To Play Susan Boyle In New Film
Susan Boyle Joins Tony Blair On American Idol
Susan Boyle Watch: Susan Meets Demi Moore And Kisses Drew Barrymore
Demi Moore Twitters Susan Boyle
Corrigan Brothers: There’s No-one As Irish As Susan Boyle
Susan Boyle Watch: Susan Advertises Oracle

Videos

Susan Boyle Sings Jesus Chris Superstar: Video
Susan Boyle Records Killing Me Softly: Video
In Praise Of Susan Boyle And Naked Swedes: Video
Susan Boyle’s First TV Appearance In 1995
Susan Boyle Sings On Larry King: Video
Susan Boyle Records Cry Me A River: Video
Susan Boyle Sings Live On Anderson Cooper: Video
Susan Boyle Sings Live On American TV: Video
Video: Barack Obama On Susan Boyle
Video: Susan Boyle On Britain’s Got Talent

The Good News Boyle

Susan Boyle Was In A Rock Band
Susan Boyle “Beaten Down By Swine Flu”
BBC Vicar Says Susan Boyle Is Our Jesus
The Ten Most Amazing Susan Boyle Songs
Susan Boyle To Sing At Oscars
Financial Markets Rally On The Susan Boyle Factor
Susan Boyle Is Britain’s Got Talent
Susan Boyle To Sing At Olympics Opening Ceremony
Susan Boyle In Rehab
Susan Boyle Named UN Ambassador
Susan Boyle Loses Britain’s Got Talent

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Susan Boyle: Simple Susie’s New Teeth

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Britian’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle becomes Catherine Zeta Jones and  wins a Catholic medal…

There’s Lovely

DID you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones is “desperate to play Susan Boyle on screen”?

The Mail’s Paul Revoir says so:

Miss Zeta-Jones, 39, has apparently asked about the film rights to the singer’s life story and sensational appearance on Britain’s Got Talent.

It is believed that Oscar-winning film director James Cameron, who was behind Titanic, has expressed an interest in a similar project.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Susan Boyle Loses Britain’s Got Talent

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which – get this – an “intuitive expert” explains what will happen to Susan Boyle…

Now read on…

We asked wOw Intuitive Peggy Rometo to find out what’s in store for the world’s newest singing sensation.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Britney Spears Pregnant With K-Ferret’s Girl

“IT’S a girl for Britney,” screams the National Enquirer’s headline, and readers are left to wonder if this is news of a ritual dose of Spears girl-on-girl action or of a baby?

It’s the headline that’s speaks to all sectors of the Britney Spears fan club – from celeb fanciers looking for a new name for their kebab-faced child all the way to men in caravan parks with pictures of Spears stuck on the ceiling over their beds and an effigy of the singer made from pillow cases, egg boxes and felt tips.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Oxford University Gives Media A Chance To Mock Kerry Katona

NEWS is that Kerry Katona to address The Oxford Union. Or, perhaps, the Oxford Union is to receive Kerry Katona.

Says an Oxford Union spokesman of the speech being filmed for Katona’s MTV reality television series:

“We invite a diverse range of speakers and we think that our members will be interested to hear Kerry Katona, who will be speaking about her mental illness and how it has affected her life.

“She has had an interesting relationship with the media and the British public, and we look forward to having her at The Union.”

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Angelina Jolie’s Secret Child

ANGELINA Jolie “STUNS” Brad, says the Enquirer.

No, not with a Taser. Angelina stuns him with a baby.

This headline news suggests that Brad – a father to six – is very easily stunned, going round in a state of perpetual shock, marvelling at the big orange light in the sky, the wonder of blinking and making noises with that hole in his face.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Susan Boyle Fans Invade Scotland

SUSAN Boyle fans Lynn Scheffer and Bev Hohe flew from Pennsylvania to Blackburn, West Lothian to see the great hope.

At least that’s what the Sun reports. And Bev is happy to keep the story of transatlantic-stalking alive. Says she:

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comments (6)

Jade Goody’s Mum Has A ‘Gun’

IN “Jade’s mum: I have a gun”, Sun readers learn that Jade Goody’s mum, Jackiey. Budden, “sparked an airport terror alert yesterday — after saying that she had a GUN.”

Jade has died and in a bid to keep her place in the papers warm ready for any return the papers spot the professional Jade Goody mum on her way to the sun.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Susan Boyle Watch: Susan Advertises Oracle

SUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s look at Susan Boyle in the news. Today Susan Boyle markets Oracle computing:

With access to sun’s hardware as well, Oracle can really engineer and tune the hardware to make the Oracle applications “sing” as angelically as Susan Boyle did on the British version of American Idol – IT World

Susan Boyle can be all things to all people…

Pictures and Icons:

Susan Boyle Secret Picture Gallery
Pictures: Susan Boyle Naked

Susan Boyle’s New Hair And Face Makeover: Pictures

Susan Boyle’s New Eyebrows

Susan Boyle’s New Image Bikini Body

Susan Boyle Is A Fake: Proof

The Susan Boyle Barbie Doll

Susan Boyle Models Kate Moss

Shy Susan is Armani Dolce...

Disciples

Susan Boyle Joins Tony Blair On American Idol

Beyonce Offers Duet With Susan Boyle

Angelina Jolie To Play Susan Boyle In New Film

Susan Boyle Joins Tony Blair On American Idol

Susan Boyle Watch: Susan Meets Demi Moore And Kisses Drew Barrymore
Demi Moore Twitters Susan Boyle

Corrigan Brothers: There’s No-one As Irish As Susan Boyle

Videos

Susan Boyle Sings Jesus Chris Superstar: Video

Susan Boyle Records Killing Me Softly: Video

In Praise Of Susan Boyle And Naked Swedes: Video

Susan Boyle’s First TV Appearance In 1995

Susan Boyle Sings On Larry King: Video
Susan Boyle Records Cry Me A River: Video

Susan Boyle Sings Live On Anderson Cooper: Video

Susan Boyle Sings Live On American TV: Video

Video: Barack Obama On Susan Boyle

Video: Susan Boyle On Britain’s Got Talent

The Good News Boyle

Susan Boyle Was In A Rock Band

BBC Vicar Says Susan Boyle Is Our Jesus

The Ten Most Amazing Susan Boyle Songs

Susan Boyle To Sing At Oscars

Financial Markets Rally On The Susan Boyle Factor

Susan Boyle Is Britain’s Got Talent

Susan Boyle To Sing At Olympics Opening Ceremony

Susan Boyle In Rehab

Susan Boyle Named UN Ambassador

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Susan Boyle Was In A Rock Band

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Susan is discovered singing in a rock band…

Many writers have downloaded Anorak’s Susan Boyle Story Generator. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you will have heard of it.

Some of the results are hereunder.

You should know this by now, if you don’t you must have been living under a rock all week. Take a bow, Susan. It’s your moment to shine – The Guardian

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Suri Cruise Runs

RUN, Suri  Cruise.

Run!

Anorak

Posted: 27th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment