Leora’s Leukaemia Rap

CELEBRITY cancer did not end with the resting of Jade Goody. It moves on with Leora, who brings to the entertainment industry her Leukaemia Rap, written by her and her sister Sigal in her hospital bed.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)

Susan Boyle Models Kate Moss

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Susan Boyle morphs into Kate Moss…

Boyle the role model

THE rise and rise of Britain’s Got Talent star Susan Boyle continued yesterday as the Scots singer was acclaimed by showbusiness royalty, foreign media and fans.

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Susan Boyle’s New Eyebrows

SUSAN Boyle’s new eyebrows – or did she just peel off the fake ones..?

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism | Comments (2)

Angelina Jolie Wants Her Brother’s Baby

DID Angelia Jolie cheat on Brad Pitt? asks Grazia magazine.

Yes? No? Let’s investigate.

It’s the “split latest”. Grazia say the “rift in their relationship” is “deeper than ever”. This, it says, is “starkly apparent”.

So we wonder: Is Angelina about to put an X in Brad’s name, as she has with her other men – Knox, Maddox and Pax?

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Mia Farrow Fasts For Darfur And Dreams Of Woody

MIA Farrow is to go on hunger strike next week in a show of solidarity with the people of Darfur.

This is no trite matter. Africa, once colonised for administrative and trade purposes, is to be raped. China supports the regime in Sudan. China wants Sudan’s oil. It will not settle in the country. It will take and leave.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Shaheen Jafargholi Lances The Boyle

LANCE the Boyle! Susan Boyle must be toppled. Hurrah for Shaheen Jafargholi, who is on American TV show The Today show, telling Americans:

“It has changed my life. Overnight I’ve become apparently a global superstar. It’s so amazing to have that title. I couldn’t believe it when I was told that. It’s always been a dream of mine to get this recognition. I always like to be in the spotlight and hopefully now it’s my time to shine.”

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)

Susan Boyle Sings Pretty Woman: Video

YOU’VE seen Susan Boyle change beyond all recognition. For shame!

What we need is a new Susan Boyle.

And here… she… is!

Take it away Marigold Carbuncle:

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Susan Boyle Disqualified From Britian’s Got Talent

SUSAN Boyle has been disqualified from Britian’s got Talent for causing Becky Pugh to worry:

If some “exceptionally gifted” whippersnapper does seize the competition from her clutches, what will become of Boyle? I can’t help worrying about it.

In the Tabloid Telegraph, Becky Pugh does as invited and after hitting F9 delivers this addendum that Susan Boyle has lost Britain’s Got Talent:

If some “exceptionally gifted” whippersnapper does seize the competition from her clutches, what will become of Boyle? I can’t help worrying about it.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

In Praise Of Susan Boyle And Naked Swedes: Video

ANORAK’S all purpose Susan Boyle story arrived too late for Sweden’s Blatte Bella, on The Local:

Move over EMD, sorry Susan Boyle…but there are some naked crisp bread boys of boy band hopefuls taking YouTube by storm.

Nudity and liberal attitudes towards the body (including sex and sexuality) are hallmark attributes of all things Swedish, well, internationally that is. Of course the same gang of stereotypers would ask about the cheese, alpine skiing and watchmakers of Sweden but that’s another matter for another blog entry.

Video:

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Ten Most Amazing Susan Boyle Songs

SUSAN Boyle is all things to all journalists. Press F9 on your keyboard and see a story on Susan Boyle appear. Or failing that see Anorak’s all-purpose Susan Boyle article: The Ten Most Amazing Susan Boyle Songs:

That all purpose Susan Boyle article in full:

You’d have to be living under a rock/ on the moon/ in North Korea/ watching cat racing on Sky Sports 3 not to have heard of singing sensation Susan Boyle.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Angelina Jolie To Play Susan Boyle In New Film

SUSAN Boyle Watch: Having been turned into a moral symbol, Susan Boyle is to become a film, reports the Daily Star:

HAIRY Angel Susan Boyle’s sensational rise to stardom is to be made into a multi-million pound movie. Show boss Simon Cowell is fighting off offers from Hollywood directors, vowing to produce the film himself.

As one Christian columnist puts it, in words that could be taken from an Oscar acceptance speech:

“The way we see Susan Boyle is very nearly the way God sees us: worthwhile, special, talented, unique, beautiful.”

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Susan Boyle’s New Image Bikini Body

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Elizabeth Tillinghast – a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst in New York City – tells Huffington Post readers what Susan Boyle means to us all, and how Susan saves the planet:

By daring to sing in front of us, Susan Boyle set herself a challenge, but she set us one too.

Not to switch over and see what’s on BBC1?

We could have flattened her (although maybe not, with this woman!), but we certainly could have humiliated her, killed her dream by refusing to give in to this unlikely temptress. Like Odysseus, we could have bound ourselves to the mast, tempted by the call of her song, but unwilling to throw ourselves in.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Susan Boyle Duets With The Older Madonna

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Susan Boyle shows off her leather jacket, is younger than Madonna and Wayne Rooney impression…

Theatre Of I Dreamed A Dream

INTERNET sensation Susan Boyle has received the ultimate honour – her very own tribute from Manchester United ace Wayne Rooney!

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Kerry Katona Auditions For Strictly Come Dancing

KERRY Katona would like OK! readers to know that she “celebrated my divorce by downing shots”.

Only there is no divorce from husband Marc Croft.

And those rumours of a “sex tape”.

Well, steady yourselves fans of short bald men shagging fat blonde women on grainy mobile phone footage – the tape turns out to be a “fake”.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jade Goody Advertises Jo Malone Face Cream

WITH Jade Goody open to offers, and Jack Tweed in choky, it is left to Jackiey Bunden to keep the brand alive with an exclusive interview in OK!.

Having asked the media to leave the family alone, Jade’s mum now bravely pulls on a dress, tightens a belt and leans back in hr deisnger kitchen to tells us:

“JADE BEGGED ME TO SMOTHER HER WITH A PILLOW.”

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Susan Boyle Meets Demi Moore In America

SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle is in interview with OK! magazine, telling of loves lost and Demi Moore gained…

Susan Boyle: “There are no words to describe how America has been. It’s actually blown me away”

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Susan Boyle Watch: Boyle Gets Makeover And Sings With David Bowie

SUSAN BoyleWatch: In which the Britain’s Got Talent winner gets a makeover and becomes David Bowie…

Susan Boyle’s Makeover

BRITAIN’S Got Talent star Susan Boyle was at the centre of an amazing makeover shock last night. The “Hairy Angel” singer, who has wowed fans with her powerful voice, was shown just how good she can look after coming under pressure to ditch her frumpy image.

For shocking picture of the real Susan Boyle, go here.

Computer whizzkids got to work on the dowdy Scot, 47, to reveal her hidden beauty. A new hairdo, facelift, whitened teeth and several other nips and tucks turned the frumpy virgin into glamorous head-turner – Daily Star

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Susan Boyle Is A Sacred Cow

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Susan Boyle is the “apotheosis of a just order”….

Nation columnist Patricia Williams:

The first email about Susan Boyle was forwarded to me by a friend who works for a human rights organisation. Her message fumed that Boyle had been “disrespected as a woman”. The second email came from a retired neighbour who was unnerved by the ageism on display from Simon Cowell and the other judges. The third was from a vegan who despises the cosmetics industry for experimenting on animals and was delighted that Boyle hadn’t worn a speck of make-up that anyone could tell. The fourth was from a law school classmate who saw her success as the apotheosis of a just order, the fifth from an Indian friend who deemed it a liberatory moment for persons of low caste.

Do you see the light?

The Rev. James Martin, a Jesuit priest who is the associate editor of America magazine, finds an affirmation of a basic element of his faith in the response to Boyle’s performance, writing under the headline “Susan Boyle and the Love of God“:

“The way we see Susan Boyle is very nearly the way God sees us: worthwhile, special, talented, unique, beautiful.”

…On the telly…

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Video: Perez Hilton Mugs Barack Obama

PEREZ Hilton, the celebrity blogger gone native, is asking a question on gay marriage of Miss California, Carrie Prejea, at the Miss USA talent show.

Her answer is, well, Presidential.

But Hilton doesn’t like the answer she gives so, behind her back, champions tolerance by calling her a “dumb bitch” and saying that if she’d have won the popular vote (she came runner up) he’d have mugged her.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Pictures And Video: 100 Beyonce Dancers In Piccadilly Circus

IN Piccadilly CIrcus today, on his way to his club in a street off Pall Mall, Old Mr Anorak saw one hundred “single ladies” converge at Piccadilly Circus for a rendition of Beyonce Knowles’ “Single Ladies” dance.

Old Mr Anorak appreciates their efforts but wants the ladies to know that he is now with young Old Mrs Anorak IV and they should audition again in the spring when her visa is in need of renewal.

Pictures:

Anorak

Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Susan Boyle To Sing At Oscars

SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which the Huffington Post’s Sarah Walker tells of her “fears” for Susan Boyle.

Anorak has highlighted some terrific opinion on Britain’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle, noteworthy:

* This woman is my sister.

* So, just as the unemployed Susan Boyle is storming the states with her unexpectedly inspirational rendition of “I dreamed a dream”, equity markets appear to be putting in a not dissimilar inspirational performance — leading many market commentators to profess the recession may in fact be over and done with.

* Susan Boyle: My definition of actualizing potential by allowing the energy of the universe to flow through you.

* Susan Boyle surpasses Barack Obama as the most popular human being on the planet

* I’m still stuck on Susan Boyle, and still weeping. I suppose that’s so 24 hours ago, and I should be thinking instead about how Mel Gibson’s divorce might affect his box-office cred with conservative Catholics.

* If Susan Boyle had not existed, the Noughties would have had to invent her to prevent the decade from crashing into its own looking glass

Anorak

Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Susan Boyle Is Britain’s Got Talent

SUSAN Boyle appears on Britain’s Got Talent. Is she any good? Not bad. Let’s consider the facts as reported by an eager media, which might not be as talented:

Anorak

Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (84)

Pictures Of Room Jade Goody Died In

JADE Goody Watch: Picture of Jade Goody’s death bed.

Earlier today, Anorak published:

Man Sells House Haunted By Jade Goody

The story includes  the Daily Star insight:

Yesterday it was reported that Jade’s home was up for sale and her family had decided to sell it. But we can reveal the house is in fact owned by Mr Porrett and he is now terrified hundreds of fans of the Big Brother star will descend on his home to “view” it.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Kanye West Uses Naked Lover Amber Rose To Model His Shoes

KANYE West features in Louis Vuitton’s new ad campaign to sell his range of shoes.

Do you see the shoes?

If you buy these shoes, you too can have an ex-lesbian model called Amber Rose (nominative determinalism again, folks) to warm your crotch.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Susan Boyle Lives With A Man

BRITAIN’S Got Talent Susan Boyle has “finally bagged herself a fella”.

So says the Sun in “Susan has got a man at last”.

One in the eye for all those who bullied, teased and prodded Susan with sticks. Susan Boyle’s not a joke any more.

The 48-year-old — who’s never been kissed — now has a live-in hunk to fend off her growing fanbase. The mystery man even answers the door at Susan’s home in Blackburn, West Lothian — and yesterday he saw off scores of autograph hunters desperate to meet the singing sensation.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)