Jesse Draper Dreams Of David Beckham

JESSE Draper is a Children’s TV presenter. Anorak’s man in the USA meets her and asks her a few questions.

Anorak’s man in the States who has been interviewing celebrities and members of the public alike, seeking their opinions on all things British, not least of all their views on the ‘First Couple’ of the British social scene, David and Victoria Beckham.

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jade Goody’s Funeral Route And Facts

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career. Jade is still dead but with her funeral to run and books to sell, she remains busy…

Daily Star: “JADE’S FUNERAL IS A FAKE”

She’s not dead? Was Jade the greatest method actor of her generation?

Jade Goody’s final resting place is being kept secret to keep ghoulish fans away. Her grieving family are trying to fool freaks and sickos by dropping false hints about possible burial plots. A source revealed last night: “Jade’s loved ones are desperate for her to be buried with dignity and to rest fully in peace. They want to be able to bury Jade in private and to keep the location a secret. Sadly, they know there are ghouls and freaks out there who might turn up at the grave site looking for souvenirs.”

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (20)

Dancing With The Stars Shawn Johnson Excites Mark Ballas

DANCING With The Stars is the family friendly pro-celebrity  dance show, starring family favourite Shawn Johnson and one Mark Ballas, a dancer who lives up to his name.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Watch Jade Goody Burn

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with offical books, offical candles and offical albums

The Sun: “Charity candles for Jade funeral”

SPECIAL funeral candles with a picture of Jade have been made for Saturday’s service.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Nicholas Cage Is Big In Japan

NICHOLAS Cage is the indie actor who’s face is unsuited to big Hollywood. But he makes money. The hang dog look. The rhomboid expression. The drawl. And now the hair. But he still makes money.

Cage is that Rat Pack interbred – dashes and dabs of something that suggests talent but adds up to a cameo.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Miley Cyrus Says No To A Sequel

MILEY Cyrus is still a teenager and that means she is not yet former child Star Miley Cyrus. She remains Miley Cyrus, the barely legal child star of porno photo fame, she of the deformed hand, of the global warming theme song, the girl who sold her 16th birthday, jail bait pin-up, who does it for Jesus is in  film:

“I feel like this is a TV show, and we got really lucky with having the material to make one movie,” the actress/singer said Monday, reports UsMagazine.com. “To do another one, I feel like it takes away the reality of it all.”

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lauren Pope The New Jade Goody?

WITH Jade Goody between endorsements, the Sun spots Jack Tweed in Thorpe Park with friends, including one Lauren Pope.

Here’s a picture of Pope at work.

Can she be the new Jade?

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)

C Me Dance: The Jade Goody Film

WHAT follows is a trailer for C Me Dance, a film that with some tweaks could be reused as the Jade Goody Story.

Spotter: Holy Taco

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

The Apprentice In Lego

THE Apprentice in Lego. You’re inspired…

Read: Alan Sugar Already Has His Apprentice

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Madonna Adopts Madeleine McCann

IN the Belfast Telegraph Gail Walker is making an honest fist at linking Madeleine McCann to a current news story, in this instance Madonna’s attempt to secure another child.

The full report on Madeleine McCann.

Merry James: Ten Bizarre Facts About Madonna And Child

The problem is that more youngsters Madonna hangs out with, the older she looks. She might prefer to adopt a few pensioners, or Old Mr Anorak.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Madeleine McCann | Comments (3)

Jade Goody’s Final Words

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Jade’s last words, Jade’s very last words, Jade’s Butlins plug and Thorpe Park…

The Sun: “Jade’s Last Words”

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)

Madonna Matches New Child To Chanel Suit

MADONNA is looking for a child. As you were, kids. Madge is no longer in London. She’s in Malawi. And she is dressed to invest:

HuffPo has the sartorial detail (via The Deceiver)

After arriving she toured an impoverished school but refused to talk to reporters. She was, in the words of the AP, “dressed casually” in a black velour tracksuit and white fedora. But that casual look costs about $2,800.

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Peaches Geldof Does Not Regret

PEACHES Geldof says she does NOT regret her six-month marriage to Max Drummey.

Peaches tells Grazia magazine that building enough material for your first autobiography is hard yacker:

“Max and I are really good friends. We were just too young. That’s all it was. I still love the idea that we did it. I love the idea I can tell my kids one day about it and I know he does too.”

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jade Goody’s Greatest Creation

ANYONE remember when it was easy to like Shilpa Shetty? Yes, it was when she was being abused on Big Brother.

Everyone likes a victim, and Shilpa was it. But now Shilpa is accused of being the predator – it alleged that she wrecked her furture husband’s first marriage.

Here’s Shilpa showing Hello! readers around she and Raj Kundra’s British mansion. Through the double doors leading into a grand hall with two reception rooms on the left and steps down to an indoor heated swimming pool.

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jack’s Funeral Poem To Jade Goody Exclusive

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Jade’s secret baby, Jade’s flower and Jack’s Ode To Jade…

Daily Star: “JADE’S SECRET BABY AGONY”

“She cradled our tot in her arms” Jack reveals all

There’s Jade and there’s Jack and there’s a baby in her arms….

GRIEVEING Jack Tweed told last night how Jade Goody sealed their love before she died by cradling their “imaginary baby”. He told OK! magazine: “Jade cradled our imaginary baby before she died.”

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Celebrities Shun Jade Goody

EARLY reports were that Michael Jackson would be attending Jade’s Goody funeral.

Old Mr Anorak keeps a picture of Jackson above his desk – the one of Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor at David Gest’s marriage to Liza Minneli that suggests all three are melting over a giant candle. OMA says the picture reminds him of his fourth wife during her three-day weekender at Messers Nip ‘n’ Tuck’s clinic.

But now a veil hangs over the image. News reaches us that Jackson will not be at the big Jade party.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Alan Sugar Already Has His Apprentice

THE Apprentice is back on your screens and Sir Alan Sugar is limbering up his Possibility Finger to reject those contestants for whom an office job in Brentwood will be forever be a dream unfulfilled.

The Sun showcases the agonists, and begins with Debra Barr enjoying “a bit of naughty business dressed in a Bunny costume. She showed off her wild side while frolicking with a pal at a New Year’s Eve party in London.”

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Merry James: Ten Bizarre Facts About Madonna And Child

ALL hail the Madonna and child. Historians will note than in no two pictures of the child the same. Madonna had many children, all different, all unique and special.

10 Bizarre Facts About Madonna and Child:

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Michael Jackson Plays Jade Goody’s Funeral

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Michaele Jackson, without Jordan and Jack’s new pad…

Daily Star: “JACKO: I’LL BE AT JADE’S FUNERAL”

Michael Jackson is set to lead a host of mourners at Jade Goody’s funeral after promising her husband Jack Tweed he will be there. Thriller singer Michael, 50, is set to make lifelong Jacko fan Jade’s dreams come true by attending the service.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Coleen Rooney Is Pregnant

COLEEN Rooney is pregnant. It’s fact. Well, sort of. The Sun sees a “tummy bulge” and hears a source tell of babies.

Of course, Coleen might be less with child as with last night’s kebab a la mode. But the Mail, too, says Coleen might be with child.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Jade Goody’s Last Coffin

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Jade’s coffin, Henry VIII and Australia…

The People: “Jade Goody coffin picture plot – Warped ghouls have been trying to get pictures of Jade Goody’s BODY in her coffin so they can sell them.”

Dis-gus-ting. (If you do have them, send them to us and we will publish them, tastefully.)
The monstrous plot echoes the evil attempts to make cash from pictures of Princess Diana dying in a car crash in Paris 12 years ago.

Echo… Like in a tunnel?

Anorak

Posted: 29th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Jade Goody And Shipla Shetty In EastEnders Special

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with EastEnders, Shilpa Shetty and…

The People: “SHILPA SHETTY TO JOIN EASTENDERS”

Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty is being lined up to join the cast of EastEnders. Jade Goody’s pal is in talks with BBC chiefs about a major role in the soap.

I-‘ate-you-Peggy-Pork-Pie!

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 29th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Ten Famous Shoplifters, With Jade Goody And Steven Gerrard

IN honour of John Terry’s dear old Predigree Chum getting pinched for shoplifting, allegedly, Anorak brings you the Top Ten Celebrity Shoplifters Ever:

Steven Gerrard

“I grabbed a few pens and paper from Woolworths and made a dash for the door but the security guard grabbed me.” Go on. “I thought it was all over. I thought the club would drop me. And I was convinced the school would expel me.” And where would Steven be today without GCSEs?

Anorak

Posted: 28th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

EastEnders At Jade Goody’s Funeral

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with EastEnders, beauty tips and Russell Brand says…

The Sun: “Jade’s grieving boys spared pain of funeral”

Funeral directors FA Albin of Bermondsey, South London, issued a statement saying the music had been chosen by the Big Brother star, who was 27. It read: “Jade’s coffin will be carried by the company’s vintage Rolls hearse followed by a cortege of four Daimler limousines and her favourite car, a Bentley.”

Anorak

Posted: 28th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (43)

Hollywood Legend Killed In Dakota Floods

THOSE floods in Dakota have a celebrity element – a Hollywood legend has been drowned…

Send for Barack Obama – he’ll No-ah what to do…

Anorak

Posted: 27th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment