Mariah Carey’s New Elle Of A Body

MAGAZINE’S never lie.  That is Mariah Carey on the cover of Elle magazine. And that is Mariah Carey not on the cover of Elle magazine. Spot the difference:

Source

Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism | Comments (3)

Matthew McConaughey And Camila Alves’ Sell Son Levi To OK!

BABY vborn. Baby sold:

The endless race for the latest set of exclusive celebrity photos wraps another round, with OK! reportedly snapping up the first pictures of Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves’ son Levi Alves

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Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comment

Wow: Matthew McConaughey Has A Baby Boy

THE Telegraph continues its drive to become a tabloid with news that Hollywood actor and topless model Matthew McConaughey has given birth:

Matthew McConaughey Has A Baby Boy

Well done Matthew.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment

Jamie Oilver: We’re All Chicken Thieves Now

“SIGN OF THE HARD TIMES,” says the Express.

“STORE TAGS CHICKEN TO STOP THIEVES.”

Not live chickens, which thanks to Jamie Oliver’s crusade all wear name badges, but dead ones, shrink wrapped and frozen.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3)

Celebrity Quote Of The Day: House Of Usher

MORE Ushers than a Liza Minelli wedding:

“He’s called Usher because he looks so much like me. He looks so much like me it would have been hard to call him anything else. It was the obvious choice. It’s really changed me for the better, he’s a great kid.”

– US singer Usher on his son

Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Amy Winehouse Accused Of Being Slapper

“AMY BEAT ME.”

It’s Amy Winehouse, and the Mirror’s lead story that she launched a “crazed” attack – “three stinging smacks” – on one Wayne Lindsay.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment

Birthday Suits You, Sian Lloyd, Madonna And Mehmet Ali Agca

IN Hello!, Sian Lloyd, former weather girl and fiancee to Cheeky Chappie Lembit Opik, is making a “tribute to Madonna”.

Why Ms Lloyd should do this is not immediately apparent, what with her looking and sounding not a bit like the singer.

Reading on, we learn that Lloyd turns 50 this year, as does Madonna, and therein lies the theme for the conceit.

Readers may be interested to know that others turning 50 this year are Irish on-the-spot dancer Michael Flatley, screeching Seventies singer Kate Bush, Pope shootist , Michelle Bauer star of Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers), Simon Le Bon, Thomas ‘The Hit Man’ Hearns, Michael Jackson and Charlene Tilton.

Anorak

Posted: 8th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Hello! | Comment

New Jobs For George Clooney’s Sarah Larson

HELLO! informs readers that Sarah Larson is no longer working as a cocktail waitress, and, as befitting George Clooney’s ex, is considering her career options.

“I’ve never had the desire to really want fame,” says Sarah who was spotted “being hung from her ankles 120ft in the air, eating a scorpion and walking a tightrope” on a reality TV show, having been observed dancing on 2o-ft high platform at a Las Vegas club…

Anorak

Posted: 8th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Hello! | Comment (1)

Amy Winehouse Headline Game

AMY Winehouse has been using a sunbed,” says a “friend” in the Sun:

It’s a story that’s been created after the headline. Can you guess the headline?

a) Glow Glow Glow
b) Back To Brown
c) Amy Sunhouse

Anorak

Posted: 8th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment

Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Alison Steadman’s Chest

CELEBRITY insight of the day: Alison Steadman:

But I love babies. I would love to be a granny. I’ve even kept toys from my two and have them in chest.

– Daily Express

Anorak

Posted: 8th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment

Cherly Cole’s Lunger

IN “CHERYL STALKER TERROR,” the Star says a man has grabbed Cheryl Cole and held her in a “terrifying bear hug”.

Who would not be terrified to be hugged in public, it being the anathema of things British, at least those halycon days of pre-Diana Britain?

But does this make the “crazed fan” a stalker?

To our mind a stalker is someone who walks with long stiff strides in the pursuit of fair game and meat. And looking at Cole, we find little by way of sustenance and note that the man moved with a “lunge”…

Anorak

Posted: 8th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)

Jamie Oliver’s Sex Pesto

HUNGRY for Jamie Oliver? Reports the Star:

A NEW advert for Jamie Oliver’s Presto sauce is to be set in a red-light district. An actor dressed as a sauce jar will pose as ‘sex pesto’ offering a good time to guys dressed as salmon, chicken and prawns.

Fishy.

Anorak

Posted: 8th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)

Nicole’s Kidman’s Child Is Good And Gay

AMBUALTORY waxwork Nicole Kidman has given birth to Sunday Rose Kidman Urban, destined to be good and gay.

Sounds painful.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Gordon Smart Wastes Space With Amy Winehouse

THE SUN’S Gordon Smart – pink tie, light grey suit, white shirt, estate agent out – says he’s had enough of Amy Winehouse going on and on and on about her husband Blake Fielder-Civil.

“Zip it, Wino,” says the headline. She should “give us a Blake”.

i almost wished I was in Nelson Mandela’s old prison cell when she brought up her waste-of-space husband at Mandela’s 90th birthday gig on Friday

Blake is such a waste of space that Smart uses two pages to comment on just how big a waste of space Blake is.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (11)

Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Fearne Cotton’s Breast Swap

CELEBRITY Quote of the Day: BBC telly presenter Fearne Cotton in Glamour magazine

I like my small bosoms. I think they’re lovely…But when I do the jealous [act] when Holly [TV presenter Holly Willoughby] wears a fabulous frock and we go to a party and I look like a boy in a dress. She says, ‘I’ll give you my boobs if I can have your legs and I can wear skinny jeans.’ But I’m sure she’d like her boobs back.

Look out for Celebrity Boob Swap on ITV 2 soon…

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Cheryl Cole Passes Diamonds

ASHLEY Cole, vomitous footballer to Wag Cheryl Cole, is wooing his allegedly cuckolded wife with loadsa prezzies.

For the occasion of Cheryl’s 25th birthday, C-Ashley bought her a villa in Spain, a plate of tofu in champagne sauce, and a cake shaped like a handbag and studded with “£5,200 of edible diamonds”.

Can a Wag live by lo-cal diamonds alone? And if not, should she throw them up?

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities | Comments (6)

Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Pure Paris Hilton

SAYS Paris of tattoos and her lover Benji Madden:

He is going to get one of me but he won’t let me get one. He doesn’t like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure

Madden is covered in tattoos. In pictures of him wearing a ubiquitous black T-shirt, the tats look like they’re crawling up his throat in a bid to take the high ground of his face and head.

Pure Hilton rose to fame in a straight-to-tissue home movie…

Picture: 14

Anorak

Posted: 1st, July 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Dead Calm Birth: Nicole Kidman Flauts James Galway

THE new OK!-styled Daily Mail reports that Nicole Kidman is compiling a birthing CD for the occasion of the arrival of her first born.

And who is on the list? Why none other than himself, James Galway:

“Nicole has been putting together CDs of music to listen to during labour. She has always loved James Galway, particularly his classical albums. Whenever you go to her house, she has Galway on. There is one Prokofiev sonata that is her favourite.”

What joy is must be to live with Kidman, a bit like being stuck in a lift with a taller Anthea Tuner.

This is the Galway, who appeared on TV shows in the 70s and early 80s to remind the watching millions that not all bearded men were the Yorkshire Ripper and not all bearded Irishmen led the Provos.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4)

Britney Spears And Mel Gibson’s SON

“BRIT & MEL GIBSON’S SON!”

So says the National Enquirer on its cover page. What follows is “the shocking truth”.

The truth. You want the truth? You sure you can handle the truth?

Anorak

Posted: 1st, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comment (1)

Ben ‘Call Me Sir’ Kingsley On Acting Talent

ON the talent:

“Some young people are told they’re actors and they’re not. It’s unfair to exploit a young person who may look good on a magazine cover and tell them they can be in movies. You’re lifting their expectations so high and then pulling the rug from under their feet when the audience gives them a thumbs-down. We throw people away too easily but should never invite them in the first place.”

Hired on looks alone? It’s why it’s called talent, Sir Ben…

Via

Anorak

Posted: 1st, July 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Stella McCartney

STELLA McCartney is “perched on a purple pouffe in the beautiful inner sanctum of her London shop”.

She is in conversation with Grazia:

“I remember doing my A levels and, as I left, this girl came chasing after me. I was trying to get away because I knew what she was going to say: ‘You’re Paul McCartney’s daughter, aren’t you?’ She then looked at me and said: ‘I know exactly what it feels like: I’m the vicar’s daughter.’ At the time, I thought she so didn’t have a clue, but as I’ve got older I’ve realised she completely did.”

Indeed…

Anorak

Posted: 1st, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Grazia | Comments (2)

Jessica Biel Blogs My Space

HOLLYWOOD actress Jessica Biel is on MySpace! It is required reading:

Hello MySpace!

Okay, so I’m sitting in my trailer between set-ups and I am praying for a surge of inspiration to make my first blogging experience a positive one.

I definitely did not make it onto the debate team in high school so I’m feeling extremely insecure about communicating publicly for the first time via the blogosphere (how about that word for a novice?). I’m still getting the lingo down. I have been “internet challenged” long enough and am thrilled to join the tech revolution! Plus, I only have four friends and am in dire need of more. Just kidding, I have six.

Anyway, not only do I feel cooler being an official blogger, but I’m also realizing that this is a perfect place to share some projects that I’m working on that I’m really excited about. I’m trying on the producer cap with my friend, Michelle, with our production company Iron Ocean Films. We made a thirty minute short last year, called Hole in the Paper Sky about a man’s experience after meeting a dog that changes his life. I think it’s a really evocative, beautiful film, and it has won an award at all four festivals where it has screened. I’ll put up a trailer as soon as I can figure out how to do that:) I hope that animal lovers will be moved by this film as well because it has an animal rights element to it, which I’m a huge advocate for. I’m actually sitting here with my dog, Tina. She’s not really into blogging.

We also have a feature in development with United Artists, called Die A Little based on a book by Meagan Abbott. It’s a noir set in Hollywood during the glamorous 1950’s. I loved the book and I think it has major cinematic potential, but I’m getting a firsthand look at how difficult development is. Hopefully, I won’t be too old by the time we shoot this thing so I can play the main character. Fingers crossed.

Also, considering the state of the world right now, I’ve been discovering some really amazing nonprofit organizations that are giving back to the planet and the people in wonderful and innovative ways. I’m going to try to highlight one that I’m really interested in every month. To find out more information on how to donate, check out mtdn.com. MTDN is the business that my family created to provide support for non profits.

Okay, that’s it for now. I’m headed back to set. Hopefully this was a successful first try and I’ll catch ya on the flip side!!

Next week, Jessica writes about writing second blog post and peace…

Via

Anorak

Posted: 30th, June 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Heidi Montag, Sex Tapes And God

HEIDI Montag is a neon-toothed, blonde US reality TV show star blessed with that American accent that sounds like the noise made when you squeeze a wet hand under a wet armpit and flap. Says she:

“I don’t even want to talk about that. There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know? But it doesn’t matter to me.”

She goes on:

“I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God”

Let us pray…

Anorak

Posted: 30th, June 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Pete Dohety Has Turned Into Sting

THE smack; the teen agnst; the spots – we cn take. But another Sting is too, too much to strand…

Anorak

Posted: 30th, June 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Celebrity Update: Shopping With Kerry Katona

CELEBRITY Quote of the Day: Shopping With Kerry Katona

The News of the World has an interview with Kerry Katona’s mum Sue:

And she was stealing, too. She took me along and showed me how to do it. She got lists off schoolfriends for things they wanted, then she’d pinch the stuff and sell it to them.

Mum’s gone to Iceland?

I’d have been spotted a mile off but Kerry was really innocent-looking. I remember going into Superdrug. I’d move the things I wanted, like toothpaste or toothbrushes, to the front of the shelf.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 29th, June 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)