Reality Bites

‘WE are working on the ultimate reality TV show and can’t decide between Britain’s Worst Dressed Celebrity Driver and Bone Idle, in which contestants compete to see who can sit on their backside and do nothing for longest.

Why human cloning must never be allowed to happen

And it is only a matter before our phone starts ringing off the hook from producers desperate to find yet more inane ways of plugging holes in their winter schedules.

But for the time being, we have to exist on what morsels we can get, which this evening includes Wife Swap (in which a mother-of-two from Devon swaps places with a mother-of-eight from a council estate in Rochdale), Gardeners From Hell, Britain’s Worst Driver, At Home With The Eubanks, A Life Of Grime and Property Ladder.

Still in production are some of our earlier ideas, like Mud In Your Eye (in which Britain’s worst gardeners swap places and make a mess of each other’s gardens) and At Home With The Reality TV Hosts From Hell (in which audience members discover what it would be like to be trapped in a house with four Davina McCalls).

We look forward to the royalty cheques flooding in.’

Posted: 7th, October 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Turning The Air Blue

‘THE best thing about the Frank Skinner show, which returns to our screens at 10.30 (ITV1) tonight, is that there is no David Baddiel. The worst thing is that, even after so many years, Frank thinks he can sing.

And that, children, is how coconuts were invented

But that aside, his interviews, normally with C-listers, are frequently amusing affairs and tonight’s guest – a certain shy, retiring Brighton belle by the name of Katie Price – promises to be no exception.

Skinner has in the past described Jordan – for it is she – as his ideal woman, although ideal for what we don’t know. Ideal as a crash mat no doubt or somewhere to park your bicycle, but surely nothing else.

Last time she was on the show, she told the nation far more about her sex life than any of us ever wanted to know – and we should expect her to do likewise tonight.

As for the show, the format’s pretty much the same as ever, although the sketches have gone to be replaced by a stand-up routine. Music comes from Blue. All rise…’

Posted: 6th, October 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Fame And Fortune

‘POP Idol may have a few weeks left to go, but Fame Academy comes to an end tonight with Alex, Ali and Carolynne battling it out for the dubious distinction of becoming the new David Sneddon.

It’s your choice

Alex is firm favourite, as she has been pretty well through the entire show, but we think Ali (whose odds are shortening all the time) could sneak in and take the prize.

For some reason, audiences seem to vote for men in greater numbers than they vote for women – it isn’t a coincidence that Pop Idol was won by a man, the first Fame Academy was won by a man and three out of four Big Brothers have been won by men.

And Ali has the advantage of singing a Blue song in the final – something that will no doubt stand him in good stead with the teenybopper audience.

Meanwhile, over on the other side, only two of the next group of 10 hopefuls can make it through to the Pop Idol final.’

Posted: 4th, October 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Sense Of Uma

‘BRITNEY Spears was slated as the guest on tonight’s Jonathan Ross show, but the man who put the W back in Fridays has definitely traded up with the delectable Uma Thurman and Quentin Tarantino coming in to talk about their new film, Kill Bill, instead.

‘Are you Arnie in disguise?’

Sadly, with Thurman newly single after the collapse of her marriage to Ethan Hawke, we may have to put up with the host’s desperate attempts to be flirtatious, although hopefully the presence of Tarantino will keep him on his best behaviour.

However, Wossie is at his best when he is talking about film, which is a subject he undoubtedly knows a lot about, rather than showing off – so hopefully tonight’s interview will be a good one.

The film itself (which also stars Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, David Carradine and Michael Madsen) is rumoured to be pretty good as well, as UK audiences will be able to see for themselves in a fortnight’s time.

Har Mar Superstar and comedian Bill Bailey complete the line-up.’

Posted: 3rd, October 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Gone For A Burton

‘TONY Blair is alive and well and living in a remote part of France with his six children, wife and a few ducks.

John Burton Race

He’s calling himself John Burton Race, a two-star Michelin chef. But that simple name change won’t fool us. The posturing, preening and the man’s unwavering desire to be seen as a “good guy” (his words) all point to his being our beloved leader.

As such, French Leave (Channel 4, 8:30pm), the TV show that has tracked Tony and his kin down, should be required viewing.

Tonight, Tony’s mother-in-law comes to stay, bringing with her all manner of delicious junk food. Tony is not happy, preferring more traditional Blair fare, like polenta and duck terrine, and wafers.

Of course, it is not really Tone. Our Tone is no friend of the French – if he were to take a year off he’d most likely go to Tuscany and “crash” for free at a “mate’s pad” (once more, his words).

Which makes us wonder who this John chap is. Perhaps Tony’s learnt something from his dealing with Saddam Hussein after all and got himself a double. And we don’t mean Cliff Richard…’

Posted: 2nd, October 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Monroe Doctrine

‘IN four decades time, will they still be showing programmes entitled “Who Killed Princess Diana?”, “What Happened To Iraq’s Weapons Of Mass Destruction?” and “Is Osama Bin Laden Really Lord Lucan?”?

Did she jump or was she pushed?

Or will they have got bored with our generation’s conspiracy theories and be poring over ones we can only imagine today?

Tonight, Five (the channel formerly known as Channel 5) promises to reveal who killed Marilyn Monroe – or at least rake over some of the myriad theories that have surrounded the Hollywood icon’s death in 1962.

One such theory suggests that a CIA agent administered barbiturates to the blonde bombshell via an enema; others have her murdered by the Mob, by the Commies or even by her own shrink.

If you haven’t got an alibi for August 5 of that year, we suggest you fabricate one petty quickly – the list of suspects is so long that it’s only a matter of time before your name crops up.’

Posted: 1st, October 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Hit Brit Flick

‘JUST hearing the words “British cinema” sends a shiver down the spine. You think of boring films, small films with small issues, small characters set in small, claustrophobic plots.

‘It must be time for me to take my clothes off by now’

There’s all that humour in the face of adversity to stick in the gizzard. Life might be awful but so long as we have each other we can manage. Nowt as queer as folk. Roll aht the barrel. Yous alreett, our kid?

And then there comes along a film like Young Adam. Here’s a movie that looks like a proper adult film. No-one takes their clothes off for anything other than a bath or sex. Men don’t learn to play in a brass band or dance. The bored housewife doesn’t look for love in foreign climate. No-one takes drugs and goes raving.

David Mackenzie’s take on a novel by Scottish beat author Alexander Trocchi is an engaging if occasionally elusive tale of sexual tension and guilt.

The action centres on Joe as he works a barge around Glasgow. The brooding Joe (Ewan McGregor) works with Les (Peter Mullan) and Les’ wife Ella (Tilda Swinton). The routine unromantic calm is broken by the discovery of a body floating in the water.

It’s clear that Joe knows more than he’s letting on.

As good as McGregor’s performance is, the show is stolen by Swinton’s barge owner. Remarkably plain and fierce, she exerts a power over both men. Swinton is riveting, an engaging screen star.

Any more films like this and British cinema might mean more than unemployed men stripping for pleasure…’

Posted: 30th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Family Affairs

‘IMITATION, it is said, is the highest form of flattery – and British TV continues to flatter its American counterpart by imitating its best programmes.

‘Who you callin’ typecast?’

Tonight, a six-part drama called Family starts on ITV with more than a nod towards the brilliant Sopranos.

Martin Kemp takes the Tony Soprano role as Joey Cutler, a mobster who must try to keep his dodgy gaming machine business going while keeping his wife and kids happy back at home.

In tonight’s first episode, Joey’s older and more unpleasant brother Dave (Jamie Foreman) returns after a 10-year absence and on the run from a string of debts.

It’s not The Sopranos, in the same way that Coupling isn’t Friends – but it’s probably worth staying in on a Monday night for. At least for the next six weeks.’

Posted: 29th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Sword Play

‘IF Lord Byron were alive today, he would never be off the front page of the tabloid papers. While the Daily Mail and Express would grow ever more outraged by his behaviour, the red-tops would delight in recording his latest conquest.

Mad, bad and dangerous to know

And conquests there were aplenty for the man famously described by Lady Caroline Lamb as “mad, bad and dangerous to know”.

Over two nights this weekend, the BBC presents a dramatised version of the romantic poet’s short but very full life, with Johnny Lee Miller taking the lead role. As the former Mr Angelina Jolie, one imagines that he knows a fair bit about the mad and the bad.

For the more literary tastes, there is a discussion of Byron’s work after Saturday’s first part; for the rest, there is plenty of sex on show in what is being billed as the most risqué production ever to have been broadcast by the BBC.

Watch – and the antics of the likes of Jordan, Gary Lucy, John Leslie and those other tabloid lotharios seem pathetic in comparison.’

Posted: 27th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Old Stagers

‘COME some time in the future we will bemoan the absence of the stars of yesteryear. Where are the Monkhouses, the Tarbucks, the Forsyths? Bring back Cilla Black.

Putting the Des in desire

But by then, maybe, we will have moved on from schmultzy cabaret fare into some new adventure in television. Maybe.

For now the debate can wait while Des O’Connor and his showbiz pals continue to dance their way through the TV schedules with too much white teeth and leathery skin.

Tonight, and for one night only, the man whose last decent joke died with Eric Morecambe appears on ITV in interview with Ricky Gervais.

Those who only know Mr Gervais from The Office might expect that he is a one trick pony. He’s not. He has a brain that is sharper and funnier that O’Connor’s. Seeing the pair together is like watching a community service visit.

O’Connor’s attempts at the Gervais style of humour are dire. This, of course, makes them worth a look, since so much of today’s TV is about laughing at people.

But Des is getting on a bit so don’t be too hard on him – unless he mentions his records, Freddie Starr or Eric and Ernie for the umpteenth time…’

Posted: 26th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Boogie Knights

‘IN hindsight, it’s amazing that no-one thought to do a modern version of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales before now – there is more sex, innuendo and fart jokes in the 23 stories than in the whole of the Carry On series.

‘Okay, let’s just have a threesome’

And because they are based on the work of a 14th Century poet, the BBC can present it all as high art and so take our licence fee money off us with a clear conscience.

Tonight, we get to see the Knight’s Tale in which a pair of lifelong buddies, Ace and Paul, make the mistake of falling in love with the same women, Emily.

The twist is that both are behind bars, but one (Ace) is then released (but on condition that he doesn’t see Emily), while the other (Paul) can see Emily but only from his prison cell.

We won’t spoil the ending – those of you who can’t wait for 9 o’clock this evening should practise their Middle English and read it in the original.’

Posted: 25th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Monkey Business

‘ACCORDING to David Aaronovich, there are 120m sex acts that take place globally every day. [For definition of sex act, see under Bill Clinton at www.intern.com]

‘Oi, watch where you put that hand, mate’

This number, we believe, only includes those acts involving humans – but, given the nature of our species, a menagerie of animals, fish and household objects probably swells the overall figure.

Tonight the journalist takes his measuring device to Brazil, North Carolina and Japan, stopping as he goes to talk about sex and watch us at it, if only though the frosted glass of a Tantric-sex class.

We also learn some interesting things. This being the new FIVE, the smut is wrapped up in education. This is stimulation for the mind and body.

And the information comes thick and fast. You will learn that orang-utans are like hairy Ann Summers, fashioning sex toys from branches and leaves. The male honey bee detonates during sex, leaving his genitals behind on his lover’s pillow as a reminder of happier times.

This is TV for the just-back-from-the-pub brigade. And lonely orang-utans…’

Posted: 24th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

It’s All Filth

‘YOU don’t have to be Mary Whitehouse or a Daily Mail reader to see that today’s TV schedules are full of filth.

What discerning rodents are reading this autumn

No, not Channel 4 Red Triangle filth nor Channel Five’s soft porn filth, but real filth as in dirt and bugs and rats and the like.

We kick off on ITV with the second part of Infested, in which we examine just how many things like how many bugs there are on the average toothbrush and meet the woman whose home is being eaten from the inside out by termites.

Then, we move on to the BBC and A Life Of Grime, in which we follow Bristol City Council’s efforts to empty a boating lake of fish so they can clean it, get introduced to a pensioner with a rat problem and help track down a mysterious serpent who has taken up residence in a squat.

If none of that sounds very appealing, it has at least got to be better than another episode of the tired and increasingly lame They Think It’s All Over. Where’s Kenneth Wolstenholme when you need him?’

Posted: 23rd, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

A Damp Squid

‘FANS of FIVE as we are, we direct your gaze to the TV programme title of the year: Killer Squid Attack.

‘Will you still love me in the morning, Vicky?’

Those who have arrived back from Greece will wonder why you portion of calamari was so small given that squid are so huge. (Those arriving back from the resort of Faliraki should flush out your systems with water and antibiotics.)

Back to the squid, which attacks at 8pm. And that’s a shame since many of you will be watching EastEnders on BBC1 at the same time. Question: why?

EastEnders is awful. The acting is woeful. Are we that short of talent in this country that we are inflicted with the acting power behind the character Vicky? Looking at her and her gang of Martin, Azif and Spencer is like watching an acting workshop.

And then there is Zoe, aka Michelle Ryan. Those of you still watching this bilge are asked to spot the next time Zoe has a speech longer than five words.

Ryan cannot act. Her reduced dialogue is surely a sign that the show’s directors and writers also know they have a dud on their hands.

Our advice is to watch the squid.’

Posted: 22nd, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Fools Gold

‘NEXT to South Africans, Australians are the best are telling us how wonderful life is back home Down Under. Down there, the sun always shines, the beer’s always cold and there’s always a fresh shrimp on the barbie.

‘We’re saving up to go travelling in Europe’

That they do this while propping up a bar in some colonial themed watering hole in London, Edinburgh or Dublin should alert you to the fact that is all is not as it seems.

For instance, did they mention that the sun is also beloved by all manner of creatures, like poisonous spiders and snakes? Did they say how you drink the beer out of a can or bottle as such vessels are harder for ants to crawl inside than glasses and mugs?

And that prawn on the babie looks alright, until you turn it over and see the angry wasps nest buzzing up its nether regions.

Tonight we get to feel better about our lot here in the frozen northern hemisphere when BBC2 goes Wild Down Under at 9pm.

The series does have some fantastic shots of the fauna and flora in the Australian heartland. And the scenery is typically breathtaking.

And what with the hole in the Ozone hanging over it, your breath is exactly what you’d lose if you saw it first hand. But it does look great on the telly. Or on the jumbo screen in the pub.

Grab a warm one and enjoy. Same again please, Shane…’

Posted: 19th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Bang On Autocue

‘THIS column has long championed daytime television. With its shameless plugs, lightweight presenters (Paul Ross) and cheap productions, it’s interesting for its flaws.

A Sykes for sore eyes

For fans of error spotting, for those of a cynical bent who laugh at hapless presenters and wonder how they ever got on TV, we, in association with ITV, give you Today with Des and Mel.

The premise is simple. Des O’Connor says a few topical funnies, sets up guests to deliver their amusing anecdotes and jokes, while Mel smiles and thanks them for turning up.

As we say, it’s simple.

The problems, and with it the fun, begin when Mel speaks. Earlier in the week, Mel managed to ask the same question twice to a contestant on a phone-in competition. Since she only asked five in total, this was no little thing.

After the final gong had sounded, Mel failed to realise her mistake and with raised eyebrow told the world the correct answer. And what a relief that it was the same answer as the one she’d given us ten seconds earlier.

It is unfair to pick on one moment – when there are so many more. We urge you to watch, and thereby to keep Mel on our screens.

Kelly Brook sadly went away. Mel can save the day. The bimbo is not dead – she’s just died her hair black…’

Posted: 18th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Funny Boneheads

‘LOOKING at other people and laughing at them is all part of what it is to be a television viewer. Look at those idiots, you say from your sofa. What a bunch of losers.

‘Everyone is soooo stupid’

Tonight is sure to give many opportunities for much of the same as BBC1 follows Chelsea Tales (9pm) with When The God Squad Came To Town.

The first of these programmes focuses on a cult of pink-shirted fools who bray and neigh with abandon. The second show hones in some young Christians as they arrive on the doorsteps of a housing estate in Manchester.

The cruel laughter reaches its apogee on Channel 4, where the catty Naomi Cleaver takes a look at a couple’s efforts at recreating Essex in their Hollywood home. Or is it the other way round?

No matter, because on Other People’s Houses the building and the homeowners are just the underlay to the star turn, and her unnerving ability to shoot these fish in a barrel.

Around the same time (9pm) FIVE, introduces us to Extreme Phobias. There’s the man who is afraid of baked beans and a salesman who has a fear of writing in public.

But none of these people, in any show, have a fear of making themselves look ridiculous when a TV camera is aimed in their direction. And long may it continue..’

Posted: 17th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Oliver’s Army

‘ONCE upon a time, Mr And Mrs Oliver had a tongue. They called it Jamie. Jamie learnt to move and contorted himself into fantastic forms. “Pukka,” said one. “Wicked,” said another.

Jamie checked all his staff for loyalty

And then Jamie opened his restaurant in the east of London and invited others to join him. And so a cult was born. And it was called Jamie’s Kitchen.

And then something incredible happened. The tongue sprouted a head, arms and even legs. We began to see that Jamie was more than just a tongue. He had grown into a man-tongue.

Tonight at 9pm on Channel 4 we get to see what has happened in the year since we last saw Jamie and his 15 cooking hopefuls.

Some have left, while many more have stayed. Some even see Jamie as their mentor. Once this would have been laughable. How many ways can you teach a young pup to say pukka?

But now Jamie is so much more.

But for those that still haven’t got the taste for the tongue there is a nice opening sequence of him being knocked off his scooter by a van.

How we laugh…’

Posted: 16th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Three Is The Tragic Number

‘WHAT happened to the girls who used to so Page 3 modelling?

Try again, luv. It’s Page 3…

It’s a question many of us want answered. Do they make their way under the table and into a brown paper bag at some seedy bookshop?

Or do they go onto achieve fame and fortune as catwalk models in Milan, New York and all those other so glam boutique shops in the Essex area?

Tonight Channel FIVE finds out what the likes of Zoe from Basildon and Lorna from Southend do when the camera film runs out.

From 9pm, FIVE explores what it is to be an ex-Page 3 girl. You might see a hint of plot-building cleavage and even an educational nipple, but this is the new upmarket FIVE with no titillation.

The girls themselves are surprisingly candid and honest about what life was like in the photographer’s studio. The dink and the drugs get ample air.

They want to get things off their chests.’

Posted: 15th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Thumbs Down

‘THE greatest moment of Channel 4’s The Games, apart from Bobby Davro’s bellyflop from the high-board, has to be a conversation between the aforementioned Davro and chef Jean-Christophe Novelli.Yesterday, the pair had a heated conversation about the pressures of fame and fortune – which is rather like Vanessa Feltz and Lisa Riley sharing their experiences of anorexia.

Even in his blurb for the show, it is said that Davro is best known for his “outrageous” appearance on Live At Her Majesty’s in 1983. Even elephants don’t remember what happened at some variety show 20 years ago.

As for Jean-Christophe, all we are told is that he has cooked for Tony Blair, Salman Rushdie, Arnold Schwarzenegger and David Bowie. We don’t know if it was in a restaurant, at McDonalds or at one crazy, crazy dinner party.

Anyway after tonight, Bobby and Jean Christophe will once again be thrown to the mercy of the paparazzi and baying newshounds because it’s the last night of competition.

In the final event, the men have to go and take a running jump (which is something they must have been asked to do many times) and the women (or any ones fit enough to take part) throw a hammer.’

Posted: 12th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Hospital Porter

‘SUDDENLY they’re dropping like flies. First of all it was Gail Porter’s turn to pull out of Channel 4’s The Games with a recurrence of the hamstring injury she incurred in training.

Gail gets ready on the high board

“I feel like I’ve let everyone down,” the Scot sobbed – and she was right. She had been on TV for two hours and hadn’t even taken her clothes off.

And then the current leader of the women’s event Terri Dwyer (a Hollyoaks actress who left to further her career) sustained a groin injury in the skating and had to jump into a bath of ice.

Of course, this might have had far more to do with getting her picture in this morning’s papers than any medical advice, but let’s hope it is as successful in curing the ailment as it was in securing a bit of tabloid attention.

Meanwhile, male viewers’ eyes are still watering from Bobby Davro’s belly flop from the high board on Monday night.

But James Hewitt remains the man to beat, although having picked up a perfect six points in the first two events he failed to qualify for last night’s face-off on the ice.’

Posted: 11th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Let The Games Begin

‘WHERE The Games: Live fails is that the contestants are not good enough at sport to hold our interest (like in Superstars) and not bright enough to be Krypton Factor types.

Brian Apsely, 26, from Harrogate

The show would be improved upon if the agonists were not real celebrities but just dressed up like them. It would be It’s A Knockout with Vanessa Feltz fat suits and huge, square Anthea Turner heads replacing the penguin costumes of old.

But the powers that be can only see what they see, and chose instead to give Gail Porter and Mel C the oxygen of publicity.

Meanwhile there’s Other’s People’s Houses (C4 at 8pm) in which a small woman called Naomi, who dresses and talks like Hitler’s interior designer, takes the rising damp out of people’s taste.

While on BBC2 at 9pm you can catch Chelsea Tales, a story of the life in what is billed as “Britain’s richest square mile”.

All in all, these TV crimes make The Bill’s (ITV at 8pm) everyday tale of villainy seem positively innocent.’

Posted: 10th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Nail In The Coughin’

‘ONE person who, one imagines, will not be back to celebrate the fifth anniversary of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? is Major Charles Ingram, but the three contestants who won the jackpot without the aid of strategic coughing will be.

‘I’d give it all just to meet Judith Chalmers’

They will join three celebrities (of course) in trying to answer as many questions and grab as much money for charity as possible.

However, it says something about how the show has slumped since Judith Keppel became the first person to walk out with a seven-figure cheque that the best Celador could attract for tonight’s special is David Seaman, Judith Chalmers and Tara Palmer Tomkinson.

The word is that, with declining ratings, the producers could be looking for a new host to take over from Chris Tarrant, but in reality this show is never going to regain its stratospheric popularity unless Elvis himself uses it as a vehicle for his comeback.’

kittychesterz

Posted: 9th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Playing Games

‘THOSE of certain age will remember Superstars, the TV show where sportsmen competed for points in various disciplines, like climbing a wall and seeing how many squat thrusts they could do in 60 seconds.

Mel C has been training hard

Brian Jacks was very good at these. Apparently a judo exponent, Jacks made a name as a squat thrusts expert. In the pantheon of squat thrusters, Jacks was the best.

Soon, inexplicably given Jacks and his abilities, the show died. Time past on and one day Channel 4 ran out of ideas.

All the bight young things with the TV-trigger minds have gone soft, gone bad or gone away. And the dross left at the broadcaster came up with The Games 2003.

The date is important, suggesting that there will be a 2004 a 2005 and even a 2006 of the show – a show that is essentially a rebranding of Super Stars, with celebrities in place of sportsmen.

So at 6pm ten celebrities compete against each other in a test of mental and physical strength as cameras see if Melanie C can beat Gail Porter in a judo fight, and whether can Bobby Davro lift his own weight off the ground?

And if James Hewitt can hit the others in the shooting contest. Oh, we see. Apparently, that’s for series two…’

Posted: 8th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Bare Baiting

‘ON the Richter scale of showbiz surprises, the news that Rod Stewart’s ex is prepared to take her clothes off for her role in Denial, a UK version of Sex And The City, registers somewhere around the 0.0 mark.

‘I’m really a serious actor, darling’

It is almost impossible to open up a magazine or newspaper these days without seeing the model-turned-actress or her successor as Rod’s blonde du jour, Penny Lancaster, in an advanced state of undress.

If Rache rips her kit off on TV, then it is surely only a matter of time before Pen does likewise. The competition between the two is like a B-list version of the C-list scrap between Jordan and Jodie Marsh.

As for Denial, what can we say? Any time we hear talk of a British version of Friends or a British version of Seinfeld or a British version of Frasier, our skin starts to crawl.

It doesn’t matter if Rachel and her co-stars Frances Barber (star of the awful Manchild) and Emily Lloyd (star of Wish You Were Here) parade around naked from the first minute of the first episode, this one’s going down faster than a Club 18-30 rep in Faliraki.’

Posted: 5th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment