Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Chubby Michael Jackson loses his trousers (video)
MICHAEL Jackson never died. He just put on weight and stopped keeping his trousers up by pressing his hand on the gusset. Also, this video proves that Jackson really is someone’s dad. Gerra load of that dancing:
And that’s how Jackson got to be naked from the waist down, yer honour…
Posted: 20th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Smiths’ Girlfriend in a Coma sung to the tune of Tiptoe through the Tulips
ON Sorry I Haven’t A Clue, Tony Hawks sings The Smiths’ Girlfriend in a Coma to the tune of Tiptoe through the Tulips:
Note: Tiptoe Through The Tulips lends itself to laughs. Scroll to the bottom to hear Tiny Tim flower walking with care.
Posted: 18th, May 2013 | In: Music, TV & Radio | Comment
The weekend starts with misheard 90s lyrics!
THERE’S nothing quite like mishearing lyrics is there? Well, good news! Here’s a video, to kickstart your weekend, which looks at the hits of the 90s, which mishears all your favourite lyrics and shares them with you!
2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls takes a sinister, Operation Yewtree turn, while Britney Spears single ...Baby One More Time makes her look even more mental than usual.
Radiohead’s Creep becomes less of an anthem of disenfranchisement, and something more ‘base’.
And Hanson? Well, you’ll just have to see what they’re on about.
Have fun!
Posted: 18th, May 2013 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Angelina Jolie is now an African man and other hateful reactions to her double mastectomy
WHEN Angelina Jolie announced that she’d had a double mastectomy to greatly reduced her high risk of getting breast cancer, we listened. Like her or not, her actions were brave. But on twitter, many took another view. They pitied Brad Pitt for having lost “his” breasts. They called Jolie selfish. They called her not a woman. They perverted karma into a kind of painful retribution. They tweeted:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Poptastic: extracts from Tony Blackburn’s fantastic autobiography
EXTRACTS from Poptastic! My Life in Radio, by Tony Blackburn, as selected by Eamonn Forde. It turns there is more to Tony than admiration for Neil Sedaka and pressed trousers. Here’s what Tony didn’t cover in his first autobiography, 1985’s Tony Blackburn: The Living Legend.
First few facts about Tony for our overseas and younger readers:
Blackburn’s was the first voice heard on Radio One in 1967. In his album Tony Blackburn Sings, he crooned a version of The White Cliffs of Dover. The rest of career saw him become remarkably uncool.
Now for the extracts. Nice!
Says Tony:
“I’d say that seeing Bobby Vee perform was far more enjoyable than watching The Beatles in their prime. I was never big on Elvis – I prefer Perry Como – and I’ll take Alvin Stardust over David Bowie any day.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, May 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Michael Jackson’s kids, Mark Lester sperm and a load of tabloid toss
THE Sunday People had “exclusive” news of Mark Lester and Michael Jackson’s kids. In “JACKOS KIDS PATERNITY BOMBSHELL”, we learn:
The 54-year-old actor, who was Michael’s best pal for 30 years, donated sperm to the superstar a year before the singer’s first child was born.
Lester has “sensationally revealed he could be their read dad”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Beatles play Sack My Bitch Up at Shea Stadium, 1965
THE Beatles play Sack My Bitch Up at Shea Stadium, 1965. (It’s what they wold have wanted):
Brazil greets Paul McCartney with a plague of grasshoppers in his face
BEING a Beatle isn’t easy. When you’re trying to do a show, you’re met by most gussets and a wall of screams. However, in Brazil, they like to do things a bit more Biblical.
And so, to Sir Paul McCartney who played a show in South America and found himself hit by a plague of grasshoppers.
During his 3 hour gig in Goiania, Macca was bombarded by the insects. Tom Jones gets a hail of knickers, and poor old Paul gets a mouth filled with horrible bugs. But, then, he is Beatle (geddit?!).
Read the rest of this entry »
Which actress is unrecognisable without her bangs?
A SIMPLE haircut prompts most ludicrous fashion and tabloid writers to hoot about celebrities like they’re shape-shifting lizards, when really, it is just a human who fancied a change.
Endless columns are written, debating about whether a person getting some new clothes or a hairdo is a good thing or, indeed, what it suggests for their future.
Most of the time, it means absolutely nothing, just like a hair cut in the real world.
HOWEVER. Someone got their hair done differently and you can barely recognise them. Seriously. Like they’re a shape-shifting lizard or something. Look at this woman. Any idea who it is?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Zoe Saldana will hire a female nanny
ZOE Saldana (the bisexual Star Trek star) tells Allure magazine:
“[I might] end up with a woman, raising my children….That’s how androgynous I am.”
It all depends on who the agency sends over.
Posted: 15th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
HSBC selfishly fail to lock Bill Oddie inside their HQ
Posted: 15th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Disney give Brave’s Merida the make-over – let’s pull her to pieces
ALL hail the new Disney Princess, a fairy-nosed, thick-haired, thin – THIN! – big-eyed cartoon of dreamy perfection. VitaminW notes how Disney have worked their magic on Merida, break-out star of the 2012 cartoon film Brave.
Read the rest of this entry »
Angelina Jolie rejected cancer from her body
WRITINGin the NY Times, Angelina Jolie talks about her double mastectomy. Many women have been brave enough to do this. But when you have the looks of a Hollywood star, the drastic action seems ever more incredible.
Jolie was told she had an 87 percent chance of getting breast cancer and a 50 percent chance of getting ovarian cancer.
My mother fought cancer for almost a decade and died at 56. She held out long enough to meet the first of her grandchildren and to hold them in her arms. But my other children will never have the chance to know her and experience how loving and gracious she was.
We often speak of “Mommy’s mommy,” and I find myself trying to explain the illness that took her away from us. They have asked if the same could happen to me. I have always told them not to worry, but the truth is I carry a “faulty” gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Great car driving music with a film car chase montage (video)
CAR driving music with a film car chase montage. Can you name the films?
Peter Andre: My Life – Peter Meets Nick Clegg and Mr Kuntawala
ON last week’s instalment of ITV’s Peter Andre: My Life Peter attends the Asian Business Awards. He meets Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. What happend next:
Pete met Asian business bigshots:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
How Matt Drudge became a posture
HOW does Matt Drudge do it? The New York Times notes:
To ease his back, neck and shoulder pain, Mr. Drudge says he has learned how to adjust his posture. Whether he’s typing in the car, from the wooden folding chair in his Miami home office, or from a boardwalk bench at the beach on cloudy days, he makes sure to tilt the top of his pelvis forward, roll his shoulders back, elongate his spine and straighten his craned neck.
Drudge’s spine is a graduate of Esther Gokhale, of whom he says:
“I needed her touch, her observations and her humanity.”
“But I don’t beat myself up about it. When I’m aware of my posture, I fix it. And eventually, I think, it becomes who you are.”
The man’s a backbone with fingers…
Posted: 13th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
October 1985: Morrissey and Pete Burns were ‘The Very Odd Couple’
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback | Comment
Fan banned from The Vaccines gig for being unable to name lead singer is lead singer of a band named The Uninvited
TO the Vaccines gig at Venue Cymru in Llandudno, north Wales. Andy Bellis from Wrexham has been refused entry. The bouncers wanted to know the the name of The Vaccines’ front man and two of their albums. Failure to answer correctly would mean no entry. Says Mr Bellis:
“We queued up for a good half hour and give our tickets at the door. It seemed pretty normal. So, we’re pulled aside to get searched and the security guy asks if I know the lead singer and could I name their two albums and some songs. I couldn’t think off the top of my head so they kicked us out, took the tickets off us and said we couldn’t watch the band because we didn’t know enough information about them. I’ve made a complaint to the venue asking for a refund as there was no other reason I wasn’t allowed in.”
Read the rest of this entry »
In photos: the stars’ hilarious punk outfits at the Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum
TO the Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum – New York. The theme was Punk: Chaos to Couture. Whoah! Punk, you say. All bullet-hard leather jackets, super-glue hair and snot. The A-list artistes would do counterculture and DIY fashion. Would any be brave enough for a Nazi helmet? Well, no. This is what punk looks like when you hire a stylist to dress you as one. It’s like watching a Hampshire golf club putting on a performance of Derek Jarman’s Jubilee:
16453340
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment
The Fashion Police are real: Atlanta force slam Reese Witherspoon’s hat
FOLLOWING actress Reese Witherspoon’s arrest for disorderly conduct, spotters noticed star wearing an Atlanta Police Department baseball cap. Had Reese in a moment of high jinx stolen a copper’s lid, much like Bertie Wooster did in the excitement of Boat Race day. Those larks cost Wooster £5 in court. Does the hat spell more trouble for the Hollywood star?
It seems not. Officer Stanionis, of the Atlanta Police Department, tells TMZ:
“We did not give her that hat. We have no idea where she got that hat. In fact, that’s an awful hat. Looks like a patch glued onto a hat and it’s not a good one.”
Looks like the Celebrity Police Force has a fashion division…
Posted: 11th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal (in 8 Gifs)
RYAN Gosling won’t eat his cereal:
Posted: 10th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Gifs, Key Posts | Comment
How to get laid like Stefan Dennis and Bill Roache
STEFAN Dennis holds the record for playing the longest-running character in an Australian TV show. He’s been Neighbours’ Paul Robinson for 28 years. Some way to go yet to beat the world record set by Bill Roache, who has played Coronation Street’s Ken Barlow for 52 years. But at 54 years young, Dennis can yet make it. And with a following wind and a decent soundtrack might Denis also top ‘Cock’ Roache’s tally of sexual conquests, a number the English actor puts at over 1000?
Dennis has been talking sex with OK!.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Pete Doherty and Macaulay Culkin are down and out of it in Paris
POP f*ckwit Pete Doherty and “troubled” Home Alone star Macaulay Caulkin are cohabiting in Paris. In 2007, Doherty topped the Celebrity Flatmate From Hell poll. Can it be that Culkin, who used to share a bed with Michael Jackson, is seeking to relive his life’s halcyon days, looking for unsuitable bedfellows? When Doherty was voted flatmate from Hell, he beat Britney Spears and Victoria Beckham into second and third places, respectively. A few votes more and the former child star could have been picking his hair out of Spears’ sink and learning how to fold peas into sandwiches with Vicky.
Gillian Orr sums up the reaction to this celebrity news:
But as one Twitter commenter (Matt Leys) pointed out, while the gruesome twosome no doubt have delusions of hedonistic poet roomies Verlaine and Rimbaud in their heads, a more fitting comparison might be that of Richie and Eddie in Bottom.
Picture: Culkin and Doherty get breakfast.
Posted: 10th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Woman offers virginity to Burt Reynolds in video
ARE you a virgin? Ever thought of selling your virginity? Well, one young lady is offering hers to Burt Reynolds, not that she actually knows him.
And the 24-year-old doesn’t really have her virginity in tact, but rather, she has a ‘born-again virginity’, whatever that means. And Burt Reynolds can have it, free of charge.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 8th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True | Comment
