Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
The actress rests: Tilda Swinton is sleeping at MoMA
AT the MoMa, Tilda Swinton has been sleeping in a glass box:
It’s part of an unannounced, surprise performance piece called “The Maybe” that will be taking place on random days all year. A MoMA source told us, “Museum staff doesn’t know she’s coming until the day of, but she’s here today. She’ll be there the whole day. All that’s in the box is cushions and a water jug.”
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Posted: 27th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price becomes her own My Little Pony doll
KATIE Price marked the 5th birthday of KP Equestrian range of clothing by dressing up as a pink horse at the Worx Studios in Parsons Green, west London. Jordan, for it is she, is the inflatable My Little Pony who wanted to be a fairy. The only thing missing from this tableau of family business harmony is someone trying to straddle Katie’s back….
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Posted: 26th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In the movies Everybody Wants to Kill Bruce Willis (a mashup)
IN the movies, “Everybody Wants to Kill Bruce”. Pierre-Alexandre Chauvat has recorded Willis’ career in 39 different action movies:
When he wakes up one morning, Bruce Willis finds himself pursued by an entire city!
Willis nearly never dies. But Steve Buscemi is every kind of dead.
Rich and handsome David Beckham says God chooses who is disabled, ugly and poor
DAVID Beckham has a new tattoo. Appearing at Peking University, Becks showed off his latest ink. Written in a Chinese script, it translates to:
“Life and death are determined by fate, rank and riches decreed by Heaven.”
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Posted: 25th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities, Sports | Comment
‘Hypocrite’ Piers Morgan and his ‘buddy’ Snoop Dogg prove the gun nuts right
PIERS Morgan wants tighter gun control in the US of A. The CNN host can be seen posing with Snoop Dogg on his Twitter profile. This makes him a hypocrite, right?
@JeromeEHudson thinks so. He tweets (via):
I’m not sure if the Sandy Hook families will approve of your “buddy” relationship with a rapper who glorifies shooting people. @piersmorgan
@BenHowe thinks so. He tweets:
I had no idea that @piersmorgan‘s twitter cover was him posing with a guy that made his fortune rapping about shooting ppl (and may have).
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Posted: 24th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
RIP Joe Weider inventor of the He-Man Personality and Make Women Like You
RIP Joe Weider. In 1959 the bodybuilding champion taught weaklings How to Develop a He-Man Personality and Make Women Like You. It worked. It could not fail:
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Posted: 24th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Beach Boys sing without autotune
SO. How did the Beach Boys sound without autotune?
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Man singing for Christ makes nature run backwards
WE join Singer/Songwriter Daniel Songer in a field by some trees. He is singing a song for Jesus Christ. If you look closely you can see the tress moving towards him. The ground is staring to open up. The skies above are turning dark and tumultuous. And then he ends. And nature faces forward and carries on:
Robbie Williams versus Britpop
REMEMBER when Robbie Williams left Take That and promptly went all ‘indie’ in a bid to be taken seriously while he stuck all manner of drugs up his conk? Well, The Fat Dancer From Take That has decided he doesn’t like indie anymore and gone mental telling everyone about it.
In a CAPScentric blog rant, Robbie lashed out at Suede’s Brett Anderson who took a swipe at pop music.
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Posted: 22nd, March 2013 | In: Music, Reviews | Comment (1)
Depeche Mode: That Was Then…This Is Now
DEPECHE Mode were “The most popular electronic band the world has ever known”. They might still be. In 1988, the band’s Dave Gahan and Andy Fletcher appeared on the BBC2 TV show That Was Then…This Is Now.
The band are back with a new album, Delta Machine. They’ve been talking to The Times:
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Posted: 22nd, March 2013 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Justin Bieber challenges Lindsay Lohan to show her tax statements
THE more Anorak sees of Justin Bieber , the more we think ‘He should have stayed in school’. Following his recent late show and tantrum in London, Bieber set out to prove that fame and money have not gone to his head. In an Instagram post entitled “F U HATERZ!”, Bieber confronted they who claims he’s going tonto. Nothing will prove your normalcy more than an internet rant. He’s an over-achieber:
“I’m tired of all the countless lies in the press right now. Saying I’m going to rehab and how my family is disappointed in me. My family is beyond proud. If Anyone believes i need rehab thats their own stupidity lol I’m 19 with 5 number one albums, 19 and I’ve seen the whole world. 19 and I’ve accomplished more than I could’ve ever dreamed of, i’m 19 and it must be scary to some people to think that this is just the beginning. I know my talent level and i know i got my head on straight. i know who i am and i know who i’m not My messege is to to believe. I honestly don’t care if you don’t believe in me because I believe in me, and look where that’s gotten me so far.. I’m writing this with a smile on my face and love in my heart.
Letting u know first hand how I feel rather than have these story linger. I’m a good person with a big heart. And don’t think I deserve all of this negative press I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am and my hard work doesn’t stop here. i’m growing up finding myself while having people watch me and criticise me everyday i think im doing pretty damn good. And to those comparing me to Lindsey Lohan. Look at her 2012 tax statements.”
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Posted: 22nd, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Guns replaced with thumbs-ups in famous films
GUNS have been replaced with Thumbs-ups in famous films. Just looking at a gun will make you want one. In the interests of safety, guns have been replaced with thumbs:
Spotter: Fast&Loose
The Bill Cosby Pokeymon Pentagram
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Posted: 21st, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Audio: tolerant Michelle Shocked’s anti-gay message to the intolerant
MICHELLE Shocked told the fans at San Francisco club Yoshi:
”You can go on Twitter and say ‘Michelle Shocked says God hates fags.’”
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Posted: 21st, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Elvis Costello might marvel at the irony overload in the Mail and Telegraph
THE BBC has censored Elvis Costello’s lyrics to Oliver’s Army. The word “nigger” has been erased. The media is up arms. How very dare the BBC mess about with the music:
The Daily Telegraph:
BBC 6 Music criticised for not understanding the meaning of Elvis Costello’s Oliver’s Army after removing a line featuring the word ‘n—-r’.
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Deep Throat star Harry Reems dies
RIP Harry Reems, the accidental porn star. (Although nominative determinism might have played a part. (He was born Herbert Streicher)) Reems starred in the 1973 skin flick Deep Throat, the film that made a star of Linda Lovelace (she acted as if her clitoris was located in her throat). He was 65.
Reems’ friend Don Schenk writes
Harry, whose given name was Herbert Streicher, was thrust into infamy in 1972 when he stared in “Deep Throat,” the first adult film made for wide screen, but because he was a union actor with a Screen Actors Guild card, the film’s producers had to create a new name for him.
The funny thing is Harry was not even supposed to be in the film. He was hired to handle the lighting. Writer/Director Gerard Damiano ran into a casting issue when the fellow hired to play the lead part didn’t show up. Harry was thrust into the job, for which he was paid only $250.
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Posted: 20th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Bill ‘Cock’ Roache says Jimmy Savile’s sex abuse was in God’s script
BILL Roache is not Ken Barlow, Coronation Street’s randy, pompous, educated bore. That’s just the job God picked out for him. Roache is in the public eye because he told New Zealand’s One News his views on child sex crimes.
Before that he was on This Morning to try and reach out to with his pet Jack Russell dogs, Poppy and Harry, “via animal psychic Jackie Weaver”. He once walked with the Druids (see photo above). One News knew they were stood on fertile ground when the posed the questions.
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Posted: 20th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Keith Richards asks: ‘Who the F*** Is Mick Jagger?’
FLASHBACK to 1975: Keith Richards Wearing a T-shirt asking “Who The F*** Is Mick Jagger?” during the Rolling Stones’ Tour of the Americas.
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Posted: 19th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback | Comment
Emma Watson won’t be getting really naked in Fifty Shades of Grey
FIFTY Shades of Grey completely took over the world, giving people the chance to indulge themselves in the darker side of Mills and Boon and revel in some of the most clunky euphemisms for the vagina ever committed to a page. All good fun and a rather sweet way of getting your rocks off, compared to brutal 3 minute internet clips of tattooed LA starlets getting ravaged by men hung like wheelie-bins.
A film adaptation of EL James’ ‘Fifty Shades’ was inevitable and 99% of the world’s press rubbed their thighs with mucky fever, talking openly about which famous actress they’d most like to see getting spanked on the silver screen.
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Posted: 18th, March 2013 | In: Books, Film, Reviews | Comments (2)
How a young Nicholas Cage got the girls (gifs)
THIS is how you get the girls using the Nicholas Cage Method:
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Posted: 18th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Carly Rae Jepsen gives the finger to the boy scouts of America
WHILE Justin Bieber goes into brattish meltdown mode, saying to everyone that it isn’t fair that people are nasty to him (despite the fact that, while trying to take the moral highground after nearly punching a photographer AND slagging Lindsay Lohan off in an Instagram post), his pop pal Carly Rae Jepsen is faring much better.
After hitting the airwaves with the insanely great ‘Call Me Maybe’, she went on tour with Bieber and became a fully fledged popstar.
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Posted: 15th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
RIP Norman Collier (taps microphone)
RIP Norman Collier. You died in Hull. You were 87. You had stop-start career in comedy. And that was the way you wanted it. Your fans are – as they must be – broken up. It was a great act:
Posted: 15th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dennis Rodman wants to razz the Popemobile around Rome to campaign for black Pontiff
CRAZY ol’ Dennis Rodman has been a busy boy lately. First off, he visited North Korea and gave Kim Jong Un a hug, before The Glorious Leader flew into the sky completing a series of 147s in the clouds while farting orchids. Dennis Rodman stood by with garish clothing and a load of tattoos as usual.
And now, the NBA legend has the Catholic church in his sights, intending to ride around Italy in the Popemobile while campaigning for a black Pope. Rodman wants Cardinal Peter Turkson to be elected and, while he’s there, he’ll team up with A Notable Bookmaker Who Won’t Be Getting A Free Advert Here to extol the virtue of papal betting.
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Posted: 13th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
