Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Kelly Clarkson is not as arrogant and nuts as the Sunday Mirror suggests she is
KELLY Clarkson has seen the Sunday Mirror’s story on her. The headline trills:
“No-one on the planet should be as famous as me.”
Sheesh! She sounds nuts.
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Posted: 2nd, December 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Famously depressed: Helen Flanagan explains her pride in not eating a turkey’s anus
HELEN Flanagan says, “I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF” on the Sun’s front page. Flanagan is the former Coronation Street actress with the chest of a sex siren and the eyes that indicate inner workings amazed by toast. Dressed in a bikini and turning her arm to best display a Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her wrist, “the I’m A Celebrity star was pushed to the point of no return by a secret depression she believes she has now overcome”.
For anyone vapid celebrity wishing to carve out a career in reality TV and tabloids surviving depression is a must. The star’s back catalogues should also include: bullying (victim is better but perpetrator can be ok so long as she soon becomes a victim), insecurity (“I hated my breasts when I was 8” etc.), a sex tape, a footballer, the ability to talk about being bi-polar as if everyone knows what you’re talking about and a cancer scare.
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Posted: 2nd, December 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Everyone who ever met Jimmy Savile to kill themselves by popular demand
“SAVILE PROBE CELEB IS SUICIDAL,” declares the Mirror’s front-page headline. The story of Jimmy Savile and paedophilia is high places is now about one man’s survival.
The paper trills:
A close friend of the fourth celebrity quizzed by the Jimmy Savile probe squad yesterday accused police of indiscriminately rounding up suspects.
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Posted: 1st, December 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (10)
Jimmy Savile survivor painted on BBC TV Centre wall (photo)
WHO painted the Jimmy Savile survivor on the wall of BBC Television Centre at London’s White City? The artwork features a boy dangling his Jim’ll Fix It medal over a drain. The lad also wears a Blue Peter badge on his jacket.
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Posted: 30th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Iron Maiden’s Steve Harris is selling his Harlow home with football pitch and pub (photos)
PROPERTY porn time now: Iron Maiden’s Steve Harris is selling his 7 bedroom detached house, Sheering Hall in Harlow, Essex.
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Posted: 29th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton’s love story told in magazine covers
ANGELINA Jolie, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston (aka Poor Jen) are pillars of the tabloid magazines.The Brangelina industry is huge. The Jen-Brad-Angelina love triangle is a prism of untruth, half-truths and gossip. The saga of betrayal, love, sex romance, marriage, divorce, separation, reunion and rowing moves on with each deadline in the National Enquirer, In Touch and Star magazines. How much do we believe? What are the stories’ sources? Jolie can only adopt so many children; Pitt can only wear so many hats; Aniston can only toss her hair so much. But when the story has limits, the wily editor looks to cover emotions: Jen shocked; Jen hurt; Brad confused; Angelina furious and so on.
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Posted: 29th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Will Muhammad Shahid Nazir, 31, aka £1 Fish Man, deliver the Christmas Number 1?
WILL Muhammad Shahid Nazir, 31, aka £1 Fish Man, deliver the Christmas Number 1? His The £1 Fish Song is in all good and bad record shops on 9 December.
Nazir, who sings his song at Queen’s Market, Upton Park, London, has signed a deal with Warners.
The B-side does not feature a Turkey Song, which is disappointing…
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I’m A Celebrity: Charlie Brooks votes UKIP and enjoys more child-free days
ON a game called Door To Door, I’m a Celebrity foddeUKIPr Charlie Brooks was invited to open a door. Pick the right door from five and she’d get a prize. The prize was a child called Kiki. Jimmy Savile had not fixed it for Kiki to meet Charlie. Kiki is Charlie’s daughter. She’s seven.
Charlie picked the door marked UKIP Rotherham and instead of a child got herpes or congenital warts. She said it was “heartbreaking” not see her kid. She said it was a “kick in the guts“. She then went and sat on a log in a TV studio in the Australian rainforest and bemoned her luck.
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Posted: 29th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Yoko Ono’s hand job fashions for Opening Ceremony (full range in photos)
YOKO Ono has designed range of clothing for Opening Ceremony. The outfits are based on Yoko’s drawings from 1969. She had intended John Lennon to wear them – to “celebrate John’s hot bod”. She gave Lennon the sketches as a wedding gift. The clothes scream one thing: John asking Yoko, “Did you get a gift receipt, love?”
The mesh cut out shits cost $145.00. The kneeless Conservative Pants are yours for £255. And the Hand Trousers are $335.00. For that money you can go to a tailor in Thailand and get an actual hand stuck to your cotton crotch. The hand will even do the ironing and tell you how great you look…
Posted: 28th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment
Turn up the central heating: Jedward’s new Madame Tussaud’s waxwork must die
TURN up the central heating. Jedward L-R (John and Edward Grimes) have unveiled their waxworks at the National Wax Museum in Dame Street, Dublin. Egads! The horrors are on a production line!
PS – Stan Laure’s tongue follows you around the room.
Posted: 28th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The name’s Gaffney… Dean Gaffney… licence to be an idiot spy
THE first rule about Spy Club is keeping your big, stupid mouth shut. However, have a particularly large and imbecilic gob, Dean Gaffney (pictured) missed the memo and has been telling everyone that he’s applied for a job at MI5.
Apparently, the thundering dimwit responded to an online advert for a Mobile Surveillance Officer with the secret service.
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Posted: 28th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Lee Latchford Evans had meant to get Robbie Williams but…
WHEN Lee Latchford Evans (STEPS) married “sweetheart Kerry”, OK! magazine was there to record every moment. One highlight, as ever is the reception food: “butternut squash soup or goats cheese salad followed by Mediterranean vegetable stack or roast chicken sinner, finished off with a trio of desserts including apple crumble, chocolate brownies and a creme brulee that exploded in the mouth.” The other highlight was this from Lee:
OK: “Tell us about your first dance…”
Lee: “We’re doing it to She’s The One by Robbie Williams. I was going to surprise Kerry and get him to come down and sing it as I know a few peopels who know him, but unfortunately it didn’t work out…”
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Posted: 28th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jay-Z and the white truffles’ burden
HOW do we know when the black man is free? Writing in the Guardian, Kieran Yates knows:
Jay-Z, truffles and the transformation of bling
As a lover of white truffles, a stereotypically upper class food, the rapper is bolstering a new kind of black identity
You don’t have to eat truffles to be black, but…?
So Jay-Z has shelled out an eye-watering €15,000 on three kilos of white truffles on a recent holiday to Italy… But what does this extravagant detail say about the Jay-Z brand?
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Posted: 27th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Helen Flanagan has breasts – her future is assured
HELEN Flanagan, the startled starlet who behaved with all the vapidity of a young, soap actress on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!, has been released from the jungle studio. The tabloids review her performance and future career (more Helen here):
We are out
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Posted: 27th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (8)
Andrew W. K. cancelled: US State Department says singer’s invite to save Bahrain was ‘a mistake and not appropriate’
IT’S true! Andrew W. K. was invited by the US Department of State in partnership with the US Embassy in Manama, Bahrain, to visit the Middle East to “promote partying and positive power. In the tradition of the American Jazz Ambassadors who traveled the world in the mid 20th century as examples of American culture and spirit, Andrew has been invited by the State Department to travel to the Middle Eastern country of Bahrain and share his music and partying with the people there.”
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Posted: 26th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Anthology album of Rolling Stones secret songs
No Stone Unturned
As the Rolling Stones begin their 50th Anniversary with a tour, TV celebrations and yet another greatest hits compilation, we present our own tribute. Unlike their Sixties rivals the Beatles, they have never received the Anthology treatment, and obscure gems from their heyday remain uncollected and largely overlooked. So here, in the interests of history, is Anorak’s album of Stones secrets…
1965: Ride On, Baby
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Posted: 26th, November 2012 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)
Chris Brown deletes Twitter account after pretty awful rant while Rihanna tweets this photo of him
TO say that Chris Brown is like a giant, fighty child, is something of an understatement. He sulks and pouts when he’s called out for being unapologetic for assaulting Rihanna and still gets involved in fights (see nightclub incident with Drake amongst others) while RiRi seems to court their relationship (whatever it is) for publicity.
Basically, we’ve got domestic abuse being used as a PR machine and pretty much everyone feels really lousy about it, apart from those making money off the back of Rihanna’s battered face.
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Posted: 26th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Larry Hagman had over 100 hats
IN 1979 Larry Hagman posed for TV Guide magazine. The British police man’s lid was given to him by his mother, Mary Martin. (Larry Hagman’s life in photos is here.)
Spotter: Sissydude
Posted: 26th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
How the Hit Parade moved from phonograph needles, platters and sleaze to MP3s
SIXTY years ago, the first British singles chart – or “Hit Parade” as it was called – was published. It appeared in the New Musical Express, and it was a top twelve that contained fifteen platters, on account of the joint number sevens, joint number eights and joint number elevens. Al Martino was number one with Here In My Heart. Only one of the discs was available in the new-fangled 45-revolutions-per-minute 7-inch vinyl format; the rest came as easily-breakable shellac 78s, for which the term “smash hit” was all too apt.
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Posted: 25th, November 2012 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment
One Direction And The Wanted Fight as Chris Maloney chokes
THE EU Celebrity’s Mountain has space available for some more stars. Chris Maloney is the subejct of the Mirror’s headline: “X FACTOR CHRIS TRIED TO STRANGLE ME” – a front-page headline that leads to the obvious questions: But who’s trying to strangle him? Will he choke his own? (If Maloney wins, the X Factor is doomed. You can feel the syrupy fingers of Syco’s PR on this one. )
That scoop is countered by the Star’s shocker that One Direction have been fighting The Wanted. To the death?
Posted: 24th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
When Hercules the bear was Scotland’s Number 1 star
HERCULES was born in a captivity near Aviemore in 1974. Wrestler Andy Robin paid £50 for the grizzly. The bear was groomed for stardom. Hercules became a big TV and film star, wrestling Andy on ITV’s World of Sport programme, appearing in Octopussy, the James Bond flick, Disney stuff and A Day In The Life Of Hercules The Bear in 1979. In 1981, Hercules was Scottish Personality of the Year.
Maggie said of the bear:
“We travelled the world with him and he really was like a child. When we were living with him, our lives revolved around his – it was wonderful.”
You could say he died on the job – while filming a documentary for Disney Hercules fell over, slipped a disc in his back and was crippled. He died on 4 February 2000.
14/11/1980: At The Cartoonist Pub Shoe Lane, London, Hercules the Bear becomes the first honorary member of the fabled club. With Hercules are (l to r) the Club’s Chairman Ian Scott, his owner Andy Robin of Dunblane and his favourite singer Iris Williams.
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Posted: 23rd, November 2012 | In: Celebrities, Flashback | Comment
