Key Posts Category
ePetition Site proves Government by Wikipedia Would Definitely Work: Let’s Get Rid of The Houses of Parliament
SO FAR the government’s ePetition website has proved one thing: Government by online polls would definitely work.
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Posted: 5th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comments (3)
Polar Bear Kills British Teenager In Norway: BBC Blames Climate Change (Photos)
A POLAR bear in Norway has attacked and hurt Patricks Flinders, Michael Reid, Andrew Ruck and Scott Smith. A 17-year-old has been mauled to death. They were all on tour with the British Schools Exploring Society. They were close to the Von Postbreen glacier on the Norwegian island of Svalbard.
The BBC says:
If needs must, they will, like many bears, adapt their behaviour; polar bears have been seen feasting on goose eggs, while one bear has been recorded undertaking an epic nine-day swim to reach new feeding grounds. As climate change reduces ice cover, there are concerns that more polar bears will become displaced and will move further inland to seek food, bringing them into contact with more people.
So. We should blame climate change?
The Sun informs us, without grim irony:
The BSES sends youths to Svalbard to investigate evidence of climate change.
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Posted: 5th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comments (3)
The Hideous Americanisation Of British Football: It’s The Premier League Face Off Smack Down
THE domestic football season kicks off this weekend. Unless you are planning to watch Match of the Day Live on Sunday, in which case, according to the BBC website, you will see ‘West Ham face off against Cardiff’.
Face off? FACE OFF?!!
What fresh hell is this?
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Posted: 5th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (6)
German Girl Kidnapped By Bad Hairdresser Confesses All: Worst Haircuts Ever Photos
THE 10-year-old girl who cut her own hair – badly – called the police. To cover up her hairdressing horror she told her parents that a man armed with a pair of scissors had kidnapped her.
To Hanover, Germany, then, where Police spokesman Thorsten Schiewe tells media:
“Officers went to the scene, took down statements and launched a manhunt for a supposed perpetrator on the run,” he said. “We dispatched a few police cars.”
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Posted: 5th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Hege Dalen And Toril Hansen Prove That Gays Aren’t All Mass Murderers Like Anders Breivik
ANDERS Behrin Breivik would have murdered more people had it not been for Hege Dalen and her spouse, Toril Hansen. They are lesbians. Of course, first and foremost they are humans, like Breivik. But vested interest groups like to pigeon hole people and turn them into totems of a kind. To some on the Left, Breivik is a typical Norwegian, Christian. So. when Dalen and Hansen rescue 40 youngsters from the mass murderer they are, to some, above all else lesbians.
So much for equality.
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Posted: 4th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (4)
Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals The Best Place To Smack Your Head Into A Wall In Paris
GWYNETH Paltrow continues her drive to let you know how great her life is in Elle magazine.
An idea as to what readers are in for comes in a preamble:
“She walks into a room and there’s this ray of light, this energy,” says actor Matthew Morrison of his sometime Glee costar Gwyneth Paltrow. “She brings sunshine everywhere she goes.” This month, that inimitable radiance offered a perfect counterpoint to the season’s most dramatic pieces during our shoot…
Anyone want to risk eating?
Over a lunchtime feast provided by caterer Melrose & Morgan—chicken, fish cakes, rice, beans, guacamole, and salsa… She and fellow foodie Smith bonded over recipe ideas, with Paltrow dispensing an enviable kitchen secret: Turns out, she doesn’t measure her ingredients; she prefers whipping up her concoctions with a pinch of this and a little of that, all by instinct….
Ready? Ok… Here goes!
On getting support from Beyoncé on her surprise duet with Cee Lo Green at the Grammys:
“This story always makes me cry…It’s 10 in the morning and Beyoncé schleps it all the way down to the Staples Center to watch. I mean, She’s Beyoncé !”
On the advice Beyoncé gave her before her performance:
“Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we’re at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”
Be like an Indian might be if they were dancing like your mum at a Jewish wedding.
On creating a solo album:
“Beyoncé and Jay—they think that I should just go do it by myself. That I should go…in a studio and see what happens. And if it’s good, do it. And if it’s not, don’t. So that’s probably what I’ll do.”
Anyone get the impression that she knows Beyonce Z and her husband Jay?
On deciding to launch GOOP:
“When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some… restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris? People know that I know that…”
Where do I have a mental breakdown? Where do I get to scream into paper bag? Where do I get to to me meeeeee?
On going public with her personal care regimens:
“It’s so much easier to sit home and not exercise and criticize other people. What I love is inspiring people. People come up to me and say, ‘I want to have two kids and wear a bathing suit and not feel terrible about myself. I see how hard you work and it makes me feel like I can do that too.’”
What people? We want names!
On showing the world a different side of herself:
“If you speak to my friends who’ve known me since I was four, they’ll say, ‘That is her.’ They always said to me, ‘You’re the dirtiest person in the world and so funny. Show the world that side of you.’ I felt guarded. I felt like if I really showed people more of me and I was still not accepted, then…Who cares. You just realize it doesn’t matter what people think of you.”
Her friends who grew up in her gilded lifestyle think she is the dirtiest person they know? They probably thinks she’s the poorest person they know, the one with the worst teeth and the person most likely to toss caution to the wind and tell the nanny to boil and egg without first measuring the water depth in the saucepan.
On choosing not to go to her husband, Coldplay’s Chris Martin for advice on music:
“[He’s] a musical genius. It’s like living with Picasso, and being like, ‘Should I make a little something-something?’”
On keeping her marriage out of the spotlight:
“He makes music for his fans, and he doesn’t want people to conjure a lame famous couple when they’re getting into his music. I get it.”
A lamous couple. Call, me Gwyneth – I have a small brick wall in Paris with your name on it…
gwyneth-paltrow-shows-off-her-body-in-a-photoshoot-for-vanity-fair-where-she-wore-nothing-but-louis-vuitton-jewellery-and-fishnet-tights
Posted: 4th, August 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Heather Mills V Piers Morgan: Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!
HEATHER Mills V Piers Morgan. Every so often you get story you can watch untrammelled by the need to feel sympathy for any of the protagonists. Morgan is the media high flyer now working in the US. Mills is the woman castigated in the tabloid press for having the temerity to marry one of The Beatles.
Heather Mills alleges that a senior Mirror Group journalist – not Piers Morgan, the Mirror’s editor at the time – admitted hacking voicemails left for her by her then-boyfriend Sir Paul McCartney. During a 2001 chat in which she claims the executive admitted hacking, she claims to have threatened him with the police if he ran it:
“You’ve obviously hacked my phone and if you do anything with this story… I’ll go to the police.”
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Posted: 4th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
Sun Uses Nazi Singer Saga To Link Anders Breivik To The BNP
HEARD the story that links the BNP to Anders Breivik, the Norwegian mass murderer and EDL fan? THE Sun’s front-page headline declares:
BNP chief’s Nazi salute to Breivik’s heroine
The BNP chief is Chris Hurst. He can be seen giving the Nazi salute at a Far Right get together in Veroce, 25 miles north of Budapest, Hungary. We learn that he stood against Business Secretary Vince Cable in Twickenham at last year’s general election. He gathered 654 votes. (The Sun shows readers a photo of badges for sale that glory in the Holocaust – which is odd because many neo-Nazis, as well as those on the extreme Left, like to discount that genocide in public and praise it in private.)
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Posted: 4th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (4)
Can Peter Connelley Save The Sun From Sharon Shoesmith And Natural Justice As Jason Owen Goes Free?
BABY P’s KILLER will be free on Friday. Baby P continues to be the Sun’s shorthand for Peter Connelley, the toddler with the broken back and battered body allowed to die by Jason Owen, the child’s mother Tracey Connelley and her boyfriend Steven Barker. Peter died on 3 August 2007.
The Sun yells:
“Baby P Killer is free on Friday”
And that is true.
As the Mirror reports:
An Old Bailey judge ordered that Owen should be jailed indefinitely but the Court of Appeal cut his sentence to six years because he did not pose a “significant risk”.
Owen will most likely be given a new identity to protect him form attack (and media pressure) and banned from living with minors. The Mirror conjures up an unnamed source to tell readers:
“He thinks he is like those boys that killed Jamie Bulger [Jon Venables] and his life will be at risk if people know who he is. But I don’t reckon he and his girlfriend will be able to keep their mouths shut long enough to keep quiet about who they are.”
But the real story is buried in the Sun’s past pursuit of Sharon Shoesmith. It re-emerges in this line:
In a second blow to the child’s memory, judges yesterday gave bungling boss Sharon Shoesmith the go-ahead to claim £2.5million over her sacking.
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Posted: 3rd, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
Pamela Anderson And Charlie Sheen Linked To Big Brother: Full List Of Housemates So Far
BAYWATCH! Playboy! Boobies! And that sex tape, PETA with Tommy Lee. These are the things Pamela Anderson is famous for. Not much else, unless you happen to be a really big fan of Barb Wire. And why wouldn’t you be? It’s absolutely brilliant*.
However, something else she should be known for is the fact that, for nearly a decade, she’s been consistently linked with reality shows. Every single time there’s a Celebrity Big Brother, there she is, squarely in the rumours list of possible participants.
And now that (Channel) Five are bringing it back to us (thanks, you really shouldn’t have), Pammy’s name is there again.
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Posted: 2nd, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
SADO Charlie Gilmour’s Mummy Sticks Up For Him On Twitter
BERTH blocking SADO (sons and daughters of…) Charlie Gilmour is being locked up for 23 hours a day. Indeed, why not 24? His mum, novelist Polly Samson – married to Pink Floyd guitarist Dave Gilmour – has taken to Twitter (again) to write about her poor boy. Gilmore is not long into a 16 months sentence for violent disorder.
Says she:
“Letter from son still locked in 23 hours a day. Pickpocket has offered tutelage but shortage of pockets on prison uniforms. He seems to be coping remarkably well despite being locked in 23 hours a day.”
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Posted: 2nd, August 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (15)
Amy Winehouse’s Love Of Casual Sex Renders Lady Gaga Speechless
LADY Gaga say that upon hearing the news that Amy Winehouse had died she was struck dumb. Now recovered, Gaga is able to tell US TV of her pain and rare sensitivity:
“I am just so devastated and so sad and I really could not speak for 48 hours straight I was in such shock.”
Gaga then says Winehouse was “the most lovely and nice and kind woman“.
Was she? Wasn’t she who said:
“I believe in casual sex. I know it’s sad that I think cheating on people is fine. But I think it’s like smoking a spliff. Oops, I’ve gobbed on myself!”
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Posted: 2nd, August 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Photos: Scientists Discover Crashed Spaceship Stonehenge On Seabed Between Sweden And Finland
PROOF at last that Earth has been visited by aliens. Boffins have discovered the unmistakable markings of a flying saucer (were thy all designed by George Lucas Industries) that landed on the sea floor on the Gulf of Bothnia between Sweden and Finland.
Peter Lindberg and his team were looking for a champagne-laden wreck when the made their amay-zing discovery.
Says he:
“You see a lot of weird stuff in this job, but during my 18 years as a professional I have never seen anything like this. The shape is completely round.”
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Posted: 2nd, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Happy And ‘Suicidal’ 27 Club Wannabe Amy Winehouse Was Blake’s Camilla Say Tabloids
AS Mitch Winehouse’s eulogy floats away from the tabloid news cycle (he has she had rarely been happier), the Daily Star exclaims on its front page:
“AMY’S DEATH WISH”
Having already decreed that the talented singer’s epithetic should be “TRAGIC”, the Star’s Jerry Lawton reports:
TRAGIC Amy Winehouse died broken-hearted after realising she and her “true love” would never be together again, we can reveal.
He adds:
Before she launched into the “death wish” drug and booze marathon believed to have claimed her life, she begged ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil to let her visit him in jail.
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Posted: 2nd, August 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Colonel Gaddafi’s Greatest Quotes: In Photos
COLONEL Gaddafi is portrayed as a delusional lunatic. Well, that is pretty much how he presents himself. But the gangster is no fool. This is the man whose regime ordered the bombing of a disco in Germany and a plane over Lockerbie, and murdered a British policewoman on a British street.
With Gaddafi still in power, Libya was welcomed back into the bosom of the West’s family of nations by Tony Blair, that shiny-eyed healer who wears his god on this sleeve but no blood on his hands.
Historians will one day argue over who was the more self-serving: Blair or Gaddafi. They will then debate if Victoria Beckham is posher than Rebecca Loos and if you can take two bottles into the shower.
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Posted: 1st, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (2)
The Ten Happiest Dogs In The World – Photos To Make You Smile
IT’S the silly season. No sharks have been sighted off the coast of Bridlington…yet. So, here are the ten happiest dogs in the world. They are photos of make you smile…
Posted: 1st, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Shetland Hacker Named: Jake Davis Liked Playing Online Chess, God.
The Shetland teen arrested for the LulzSec hacking has been named as Jake Davis an online chess fanatic and a resident of Yell, one of the northernmost islands in the Shetlands with a population of 957 at the last census.
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Posted: 1st, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comments (4)
Princess Beatrice’s Transmits Photos Of Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall’s Wedding
THE wedding of Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall at Canongate Kirk on Edinburgh’s Royal Mile was a big do. The Duchess of Cambridge was there. Ian Balshaw’s face was there – the best man fell of his bike last week, apparently. And then there was Princess Beatrice. Could she follow that hat she wore to the wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William with another hideous creation that will captivate the mob and cement her growing celebrity? Answer: she tried.
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Posted: 30th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (2)
Sara Payne, Rebekah Brooks And Government Spooks Are Worried
HOW long before the Ginger Tabby is openly re-employed by the Murdoch’s?
As the Red Tops and broadsheets join with the broadcast media to rave about Sara Payne’s phone being tapped by (allegedly) The News of the World/News International/The Sun or perhaps Mirror-Trinity (or anyone else who happened to be paying for Glenn Mulcaire’s favours that day) it is worth examining exactly what has been revealed.
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Posted: 29th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (4)
Madeleine McCann Spotted In India: French And Belgian Couple Help Police
MADELEINE McCann has been spotted in…India. She was with a Belgian and French couple.
To date, Our Maddie has been spotted in:
Canada,Italy, Sweden, Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Majorca,Belgium, Bosnia, France, Australia, Brazil,Wales, Malta, Italy, Germany, Austrialia, France, Dubai, Dorset, USA and New Zealand (by boat).
The Tribune India says the ‘sighting’ was on the 22nd July
Says Anorak reader Karen:
It’s now being reported as breaking news today on ITV Central and it’s also in the Mail:
“At one point an American man is said to have tried to take the girl from the couple. However the French woman and her Belgian husband insist that they are the parents of the girl.
Police in the city have taken swabs so that DNA tests can be carried out on the youngster.“
As she says:
Is it her or are all girls who resemble her going to be treated like this at some stage?
It would be nice if it’s her but what about those poor, innocent parents if it isn’t?
How long does it take to get the results of DNA tests?
The report says:
High drama prevailed in the busy Fort Road market of the city last night when three persons identified a six-year-old girl as Madeleine McCann, a British girl who went missing while on a holiday in Portugal in 2007.
Madeleine McCann would not be six. As reader June says:
Where are the parents? But its probably just another ‘sighting’ no names of the people involved at all.
But attempting to remove the child??? very bad form – not everyone will be that ‘sympathetic’ that its ok to do that.
The eye defect is miniscule anyway and you would have to get very close indeed to see it, and isn’t MM 8 now and not 6 as reported
Karen adds:
SkyPhilippa Philippa Hall (Sky News presenter)
Our producer in Delhi as spoken to police, who say they’ve not heard about the DNA test or sighting of Madeleine #mccann.
ITVCentral Leh police tell ITV News there is no child resembling #Madeleine #McCann in their custody and they are not aware of any such incident.
So where did the news come from then?
We do not know. We guess the local Leh police, who, reportedly, told the Chandigarh Tribune in India that they had taken copies of the girl’s “parents'” passports – and:
“‘It all depends upon the evidence like DNA for which help from Madeleine’s parents and the British police was required.’
Over in the Mail we learn from the McCanns’ PR Clarence Mitchell:
“Kate and Gerry do not believe the child seen in India was Madeleine. They have seen photographic evidence and concluded that it was not her.
“We remain grateful for people’s vigilance around the world. Madeleine is still out there and the search for her very much continues.”
“MADDIE IS STILL OUT THERE”
Posted: 28th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (16)
Morrissey: Norway’s Anders Breivik ‘Nothing Compared To [Colonel Sanders] Actions of KFC’
MORRISSEY says that mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik should have killed chickens if he wanted to look truly bad.
Before a show in Warsaw, Poland, the miserabilist opined:
“We all live in a murderous world, as the events in Norway have shown, with 97 dead. Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Shit every day.”
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Posted: 28th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
Zlata The Human Rubber Doll: Photos To Make You Gasp (And Twist The Screen)
ZLATA – the human rubber doll – introduces Anorak’s look at Alternative Olympic Sports. If you want to see her testing the London Undergound for roominess, you can do so here – although, you’d best get those feet off the seats, Zlata. Penalties will be charged. Here’s Zlata. The photos are a little racy – but no-one said sports can’t be sexy.
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Posted: 28th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Amy Winehouse & Me: Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace V Dignified Kelly Osbourne Smack Down
IN today’s edition of Amy Winehouse & Me, Big Brother product Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace goes head to head with Kelly Osbourne in an I Knew Her Best Celebrity Smack Down. Horgan-Wallace on ITV’s This Morning to confide:
“The papers are saying the last time I was with her we were drinking. In fact the last time I was with her was in her house, in her kitchen, we were drinking tea and having a girlie gossip as I would with any friend. Just talking about guys…
“It’s devastating. I’m heartbroken anyway, losing Amy. I just want her back. But to have this thrown at me, and all the internet hate that I’m getting now.”
Sheesh! Where’s the perspective, people?
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Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Amy Winehouse: A Reader Apology – Exclusive To All Media
OLD MR ANORAK is just returned from the media’s WIMO working breakfast – Winehouse…In My Opinion – and would now like to present a joint statement on the matter of Amy Winehouse.
OVER the past years, readers may have fallen into the trap of perceiving Amy Winehouse as an overrated drug-addled, skank-haired, bone-thin, promiscuous, tattooed junkie whose only chance of achieving credibility in pop music was to drop needed to drop dead and join the “27 Club”.
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Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)
Lockerbie Bomber Abdul Baset Ali al-Megrahi Appears At Libya Rally
ABDUL Baset Ali al-Megrahi is not dead. The Lockerbie bomber who murdered 270 people has been at a rally in Tripoli.
He is offered a microphone. He uses it to say that he was the victim of a “conspiracy”. (Let’s ask Moussa Koussa, aka Musa Kusa, what he thinks.)
The convicted killer’s freedom is not because he has terminal cancer – he says his freedom is a victory against oppression. only three months to live.
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