Key Posts Category
World Ends October 21, 2011: 200 Million Chinese Can’t Be Wrong
AS Anorak told you, the world will end on October 21, 2011. The web is full of news that Harold Camping was wrong. He was not. He said the rapture would occur on May 21, 2011, and five months later the rest of us would die. On May 21, 200 million people vanished from the Earth. Camping was right!
We have photos to prove this.
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Posted: 24th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (3)
Ryan Giggs Puts His Dongle Away: Imogen Thomas Delighted (Great Photo)
RYAN Giggs is today more famous for his private life than for his football – and that is no easy thing to pull off when you consider that Giggs is the most decorated footballer in the history of English football.
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Lawyers Sell New Magnificent-Injunctions: Ryan Giggs Offered Discount
SUPER-INJUNCTIONS are going cheap at your local law firm. Manchester United player Ryan Giggs is rumoured to be negotiating a two-for-one cash back offer on any future injunctions.
His last alleged super-injunction turned out to be faulty, lasting only a few weeks before breaking.
Which is why legal eagles ensure us that the new improved Magnificent–Injunction will last TWICE as long as the old super-injunction model and feature women with BIGGER tits and possibly an identical TWIN sister you can shag behind your wife’s back with impunity.
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Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (8)
BBC Admits Detector Vans Never Used In Court: The Best Licence Fee Scare Videos
DID you know that the BBC has never – NEVER – used detector vans to prove to the courts that the accused has been watching the telly without a TV licence? Well, it is true. The TV Licensing blog has news:
The revealing Freedom of Information Act response came after the BBC u-turned on their earlier decision to withhold the information under the law enforcement exemptions of the 2000 Act.
In their revised response, issued after an internal review found in our favour, Beeb Kiwi lawyer Dan McGregor says the following:
“I can confirm that TVL has not, to date, used detection evidence in Court.
“You may be interested to understand why this is the situation. Under TVL’s current prosecution process the presentation of detection evidence in court is unnecessary. This is because TVL uses detection evidence when applying for search warrants. If, following service of the warrant an individual is found to be evading payment of the TV Licence, then the evidence obtained via the search warrant is used in court, not the detection evidence.
“It is worth noting that search warrants are only issued at the discretion of a magistrate (or sheriff in Scotland) in accordance with strict legal requirements. Detection evidence would be carefully considered by the magistrate (or sheriff in Scotland) during the warrant application process.”
“It does, of course, remain open to TVL to use detection evidence in court whenever it wishes in the future.”
Given the fact they haven’t used it so far, in the fifty-odd years the shit-scary (not) TV detector van has allegedly been in existence, it’s pretty unlikely they’ll be changing that habit.
Autonomous Mind wonders:
The question is, does the BBC refuse FOI requests by default? After all, how could the BBC justify refusing that FOI request in the first place? How could they possibly determine their exemptions from the Act applied to this?
Them:
And:
TV LICENSE INSPECTOR from Toni Hiltunen on Vimeo.
Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Manchester United And Legendary Ryan Giggs Win 12th Premier League Title: Great Photos
HATS of to Manchester United for winning the Premier League for the 12th time. We’ve got great photos of the post-match ceremony: the fireworks; the fans; Alex Ferguson; the players medals; and the wives and kids on the pitch – such as the legendary 12-Premiership title winner Ryan Giggs, his wife Stacey Cooke, son Zach and daughter Liberty; and Wayne Rooney having his photo taken by the fragrant Coleen. It is epic stuff in a season of ups and downs, and ins and outs. Enjoy.
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Pippa Middleton’s Bum Spotted In Stoke, Cambridge and Burnham On Crouch: Photos
PIPPA Middleton’s bum is “number one op choice”, says the News of The World. The story goes that men and woman looking for bum implants are opting for The Pippa.
We learn:
Plastic surgeons have seen a surge in women asking for a “Pippa” since the royal wedding.
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Posted: 22nd, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (2)
Prof Brian Cox And Peer Group Conformity Over Armageddon
EVER smiling pop particle physicist Prof Brian Cox writes a crisp piece in The Sun about baseless doomsday prophecies. He sweetly masks his guesswork with a certainty that the world won’t end this weekend despite the claims of an idiotic American ‘Christian’ radio broadcaster. He then moves onto rubbish the silly Mayan doomsday ‘prediction’ that the world is to expire in December 2012. No such prophecy exists in the source material but it suits him to use this to pursue his atheistic agenda by dwelling on obvious absurdities.
He quotes an unnamed “leading authority” that the 2012 myth is a “complete fabrication and a chance for a lot of people to cash in.” Foxy Coxy then asks: “I wonder where we’ve seen that before?”
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White Tiger Spotted In Hampshire: Police Chopper Scrambled
DID you see the fabled white tiger of Hampshire? One local did. They spied the big cat through the zoom lens of their camera in a field near Hedge End, Southampton. The police were called. And when the police arrived they too saw the tiger.
A police support helicopter is summoned. Tiger experts from Marwell Zoo are placed on alert. There is talk of closing the M27 motorway. A game of cricket at the Rose Bowl between South Wiltshire and Hampshire Academy is stopped.
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Posted: 22nd, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (6)
10 Things You Won’t Miss When The World Ends On May 21 2011
IT is May 21, 2011. Today is Judgement Day, the day Christians get to experience the rapture and ascend to the big spirit in the sky. This leaves you free to spend the next six months while the world boils and churns towards the great nothingness look after their pets, living rent free in their houses, bombing Switzerland and finally learning to play the banjo.
We’ve already seen the reasons why the end of the world is now. But you may care to spare thought for what you will not see in what remains of 2011, 2012 and beyond:
* The London Olympic Games – lots of old athletes shoving a BBC microphone into the faces of hot runners and asking then how they feel
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Posted: 21st, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (3)
Plague Of Porn Mags And Sandwiches Rain Down On Kent
SEEKING signs of Harold Camping’s impending apocalypse when the world will end and the rapture arrives, we journey to Borough Green, Kent, where lorry drivers have been tossing their porn mags onto the Maidstone Road. No, not filing them and keeping them crisp-edged beneath the vinyl seat covers – actually throwing them away like there is no tomorrow.
Say a local:
“The pornos used to be quite a problem but then we didn’t see any for a while. It started up again a couple of months ago. Recently a lady crossed the road to put one in my skip, which I wasn’t angry about because I would much rather it was off the road.”
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Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Todd Burpo’s Tale Of Colton’s Trip To Heaven Is Now A Major Motion Picture
COLTON Burpo went to Heaven and saw things of wonder. His dad Todd Burpo wrote a book about his son’s trip. Heaven is for Real is the book that proves Christianity is right. Burpo, a pastor of Imperial’s Crossroads Wesleyan Church, had proof. And now that book is to be made into a major motion picture. Richard Bartholomew explains:
Sony Pictures has acquired screen rights to the book Heaven Is For Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip To Heaven And Back, written by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent. Joe Roth will produce with T.D. Jakes.
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Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment (1)
11 Reasons Why The World Ends On May 21 2011 – In Pictures
AS you know the world will end on May 21 2011. May 21 is Doomsday. The world is ending on Saturday. The world is, readers, ending tomorrow. We know this because we’ve been given a head’s up by one of the world’s top 100 leading fundamentalist amateur Christian mathematicians in America, none other than the great Harold Camping. (Religion’s gain is Countdown’s loss). So. While we while away the last moments cancelling the milk and setting fire to the EastEnders set, we bring you more irrefutable proof that the world is ending, presented by Miley Cyrus, Snooki, Oprah Winfrey, Pizza Cookies, Suri Cruise, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Starbucks and Justin Bieber (and her)…
Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (2)
Sheena Upton Is Kerry Campbell Is Botox Mum: A Story Of Sun Lies And Bad Parenting
WHEN Sheena Upton, aka Kerry Campbell, aka Botox Mom injected her 8-year-old daughter Britney Campbell’s face with Botox to get her pumped for pageant show, the media gasped and then wailed for joy. Nothing makes parents feel better than a bad mum story. Bad parenting is the ultimate tabloid thriller.
Well, Kerry now claims it was all a scam created by the Sun, which she alleges paid her $200 to recite the words in a script during a recorded interview. Kerry says she saw it as an “acting job”.
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Nazi Lars Von Trier Earns Rave Reviews In Austria, Germany, Paraguay, Eltham And Switzerland
LARS Von Trier’s film Melancholia will be a big hit in the beer cellars of Austria, and a wow with the key Unrepentant Old Racist demographic in Switzerland, Germany, Paraguay, parts of Eltham, south east London, and Brazil.
Von Trier, a Dane, was sat alongside film star Kirsten Dunst while praising Hitler at the Cannes Film Festival and “joking” about being a Nazi. What he said was:
“I really wanted to be a Jew, and then I found out that I was really a Nazi, because, you know, my family was German. Which also gave me some pleasure. What can I say? I understand Hitler, but I think he did some wrong things, yes, absolutely. But I can see him sitting in his bunker in the end. He’s not what you would call a good guy, but I understand much about him, and I sympathize with him a little bit. But come on, I’m not for the Second World War, and I’m not against Jews… I am very much for Jews. No, not too much, because Israel is a pain in the ass. How can I get out of this sentence? OK, I’m a Nazi.”
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Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Sexy Fred Goodwin’s Grubby Secret: Shagging On The Glass Ceiling
SIR Fred Goodwin, aka “Shagger”, has had to give up the fight and had his super injunction partially overturned.
It had been in place to prevent us calling him a banker and hide the fact that along with Adam Applegarth (former Northern Rock CEO who was, allegedly, shagging Amanda Smithson from the company’s buy-to-let division) Sir Fred was bumping the uglies with a woman on his senior staff instead of stopping the world’s worst banking melt down.
If you are going to shaft the country, what’s an old colleague for? After all, as every RBS financier knows and brags churlishly while chuckling over the RBS sponsored Rugby match after dinner port, they are women burnishing the glass ceiling with their backsides!
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Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (17)
World Ends May 21 2011: 7000 Years Of Waiting For The Rapture Is Finally Over
THE World ends on May 21. A Christian radio network has new of your death. Harold Camping, the head of the Family Radio broadcasting network, says the apocalypse will begin on May 21.
Hard cheese on you lot waiting for the new iPhone 5, and Arsene Wenger’s plans to come to fruition.
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Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (8)
Finland’s Pasi Nurminen Beats Ramos And Stekelenburg To The Drop: Great Video
THE flight carrying the Finnish Lions national team arrived in Helsinki at 4:46 PM on Monday, 16th May 2011. It was safe touch down for the side that had won the country’s second IIHF World Championship trophy. Moments later the team’s goalkeeper coach Pasi Nurminen arrived on the tarmac at Helsinki-Vantaa Airport. He kissed the ground like the Pope of old…
Other contenders in the Season of Butter:
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Stephen Lawrence Murder: The Racist ‘Lovable Rogues’ Face Justice: Corrupt Police Escape
FEW crimes have caused Anorak to feel a rage like that of the murder of Stephen Lawrence in 1993 in Eltham, south-east London. The murder is unsolved. But many have a good idea who did it. Gary Dobson, Neil Acourt, Jamie Acourt, Luke Knight and David Norris, were named as suspects.
In 1997, the Daily Mail produced a front-page headline naming the five as “MURDERERS”. But none of the five were convicted for the murder. None of the five went to trial in a public prosecution.
Was this because they were innocent? Maybe. Or was it because the police never did their job properly. Did people get away with murder because the victim was black, the accused men were white and the police were “institutionally racist”?
In 2006, Richard Stone, who worked on the inquiry that found the police to be racist, opined:
“Sir William [Macpherson] himself had said at the time of the inquiry that there was a definite smell of corruption around this murder investigation – what he described as the collective failure of the murder investigation. We were able to find enough evidence of institutional racism being a significant factor, but we had insufficient evidence produced to us about corruption.”
David Norris’s father, Clifford Norris, was a local gangster. The allegation made by Detective Constable Neil Putnam is that Detective Sergeant John Davidson was in his pay.
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Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (43)
Queen’s Visit To Ireland In Photos: Day 1 – Sights, Fights And Gobshites
THE Queen is in Ireland. It’s Day 1 of the visit. Protests against the visit and support for it are fierce:
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Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)
Arnold Schwarzenegger Secret Love Child Exposed: The Sperminator Explains
ARNOLD Schwarzenegger, now known as The Sperminator, has not only been shagging the help – he’s fathered a child by one worker (she’s called Mildred Patricia Baena – photos of her and a child) at his family home. The L.A. Times reports that the baby was born over ten years ago – before Arnie became a politico.
The mother had the baby and continued to work for the Family Arnie for ten years. She only retired from servicing Arnie in January. Mrs Arnie, Maria Shriver, thought the baby was fathered by the woman’s husban.
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Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
Pippa Middleton’s Bum Is Served With Strawberries and Lashings Of Cream
BY now you will wondering what Ulkrika Jonsson made of Pippa Middleton’s Royal wedding bum?
Finally, we can tell you that Jonsson has views on the woman “the likes of which we have never seen before”.
“Pippa’s posterior is…not just peachy – it’s peaches and cream. It’s womanly: there’s enough of it, but not too much. It is shapely but without being overbearing or, God forbid, attention seeking.”
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Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Imogen Thomas Slept With Star Footballer For Signed Shirt And Tickets? Fans Approve
IMOGEN Thomas and the Sun have failed in their bid to overturn the injunction protecting the name of the married footballer she claims she was shagging. She says the affair lasted six months. He says he met her three times.
Says she:
“Yet again my name and reputation have been trashed while the man I had a relationship with is able to hide. What’s more I can’t even defend myself because I have been gagged. If this is the way privacy injunctions are supposed to work there is something seriously wrong with the law.”
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Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (8)
Osama Bin Laden Lies: Media Can’t Agree Distance Between Compound And Military Academy
OSAMA Bin Laden was killed 100 yards away from the Pakistan Military Academy in Abbottabad. Well, so says the Daily Mail.
Sheesh! Those US Navy Seals were daring, flying their copters into a house so close to armed personnel.
David Gardner has the facts:
The raid on the compound, which was just 100 yards from a Pakistani military academy…
The AP agrees.
Osama bin Laden was holed up in a two-story house 100 yards from a Pakistani military academy
Bin Laden compound – 200 metres from a Pak Army base….. – Huff Post, Tim Marshall
Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
Madeleine McCann: Facing Facts With Lee Rainbow
MADELEINE McCann: Times is hard and members of the Metropolitan Police Force’s Governing body are rightly upset and confused by UK Premier David Cameron’s request the London Woodentops carry out a review of the strange case of missing child Madeleine McCann.
They want to know who is going to foot the bill? That answer is easy…everyone.
Cameron’s decision to involve Scotland Yard was defended by Downing Street officials as a whirlwind of complaint struck with cries of “Foul” around claims intervention was a “PR exercise”. Others say the move could take years and cost millions.
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Posted: 15th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (18)
Madeleine McCann: The Making Of Our Maddie – A Media Commodity
MADELEINE McCann: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Our Maddie – the innocent child who became a media commodity.
The Sunday Times (front page): “KATE McCANN: ‘I REELED. THEY THOUGHT I HAD KILLED MADELEINE’”
The child’s face peers out from the cover of the paper’s News Review – section 4 of the swollen paper.
“THEY SAID I KILLED HER”
In the weeks after Madeleine McCann was abducted, her parents were beset by vicious rumour and bizarre offers of help. Worse was to come.
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Posted: 15th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (4)
