Key Posts Category
Jennifer Aniston’s A-Ha Moment: Muscle Memory Over A Chinois Salad
JENNIFER Aniston, a middle-aged woman on whom non-existent attributes are piled, is talking to OK! about herself.
Highlights:
“I’m really happy. Really! My version of happiness is where I’m sitting now.”
Even when she is unhappy she is happy!
“You just have to say it’s okay to be in a funk sometimes… You need the light and the dark.”
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Posted: 24th, March 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)
Libya – The War: Allies Are Fighting For Al Qaeda And Other Good Eggs
LIBYA – The war: The good news for Gaddafi is that just with the war without meaning a week old, it’s bene kicked off the front pages by news that petrol prices are still high (Daily Mail), Elizabeth Taylor has died (everyone), Alan Titchmarsh has bulbs for sale (Daily Express), there another march by those with State-worker pensions to end “Tory Cuts” (Daily Mirror), a photo of Ashley Cole spitting (Daily Star) and the i’s insightful headline: “Why it’s ok to like eggs again.”
Meanwhile, you might laugh that despite this tabloid’s assertion that the Brits are in charge of the German-style blitz, no-one is:
FRANCE, Britain and the US have agreed NATO should play a “key role” in the command of military operations in Libya, but uncertainty remains about who will lead coalition forces.
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Elizabeth Taylor And Me: Victor Olliver Recalls His Three Meetings With The Great Dame
ANOTHER sheet of my cultural wallpaper is stripped away with the death of Elizabeth Taylor; or, Dame Elizabeth as she called herself on Twitter. I had three encounters with her.
The first was remote. When I worked for the late old IPC cunties’ monthly Woman’s Journal I had to ‘nogotiate’ an interview with her. She didn’t want a one-to-one it emerged but she agreed to a fax chat. The result wasn’t that interesting. The Dame rarely spoke the truth about anything, but like her pal Michael Jackson, adopted a breathless, semi-cosmic pose suggestive of a deity bothered by mundane inquiries. Her most admirable feature was a merciless contempt for the media and a shrewd wariness of the public. In one TV interview she gave a few years ago she teased a journalist with personal allusions: when asked the direct question she said with a smiling scorn you couldn’t fake: ‘Wouldn’t you like to know.’ Perfect old Hollywood.
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The Christian DVD Player Presents The Jesus Orgasm
THE Clear Play Christian DVD player exists. Says the salesperson:
“You won’t know what you missed but you’ll be glad it’s not there”
Like the Spanish Inquisition. Or Anthea Turner.
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Posted: 23rd, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (3)
Elizabeth Taylor: A Life In Rare Photos
RIP Elizabeth Taylor: This is your life, your loves and your fame in photos:
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Posted: 23rd, March 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Libya War: Paedo King Gaddafi On Run From Murderous Americans With 40 Virgins
LIBYA – The War: Paedo King Gaddafi on run with 40 virgins. Anorak’s look at the war in the news:
The Independent (front page): “Bombed but not broken”
We see a man stood amid rubble. He is holding aloft a photo of Colonel Gaddafi in his youthful vigour. The message is clear: the Indy has a respect for Gaddafi’s fighters who are now, in the face of superior fire power, the rebels.
Daily Mirror (front page): “With friends like these”
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Posted: 23rd, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
Helen Staudinger, 92, Shoots Younger Man Who Denied Her A Kiss
WILL Helen Staudinger, 92, prove that old ladies can not get away with shoplifting, smelling of rose flour dipped in a specimen bottle AND shooting a neighbour for refusing to kiss them? That’s the allegation fired at Dame Helen by her neighbour, one 53-year-old Dwight Bettner.
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Posted: 22nd, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Richard Littlejohn Says British Should Not Mourn Racist Japan: Is He Beyond Parody?
RICHARD Littlejohn takes the time to tell Daily Mail readers that if his wife’s grandfather were alive today he would not have shed a tear for thousands of Japanese killed by a tsunami:
Like thousands of other British servicemen who were tortured in Japanese prisoner-of-war camps, my wife’s late grandfather, Harold Tuck, would never have joined a minute’s silence for Japan.
Always good to know what the dead would have done. It honours them, right?
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Posted: 22nd, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (24)
Lynsey Addario: Sexually Abused American Journalist Provides Reason For War
LYNSEY Addario was held captive by pro-Gaddafi forces and along with three other American journalists – Tyler Hicks, Stephen Farrell and Anthony Shadid – beaten and threatened with being decapitated and shot.
Well, yes. This is war.
Addario is no fool. She’s a photojournalist with the New York Times, capturing in focus those moments that the camera phones can’t. She was captured at Ajdabiya. A Libyan punched her in the face.
“Then I started crying and he was laughing more.”
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How Japan’s Nuclear Meltdown Saved The World: Greens Routed
READING the press you might have formed a belief that the Fukushima nuclear reactors were going to kill everyone in Japan and then everyone in the US and Ireland. The Irish Independent thundered:
Explosion could send contamination to Ireland
Paul Melia told us:
Not until last year did the UK Food Standards Agency declare that the Scottish sheep industry was free of radioactive material from the Chernobyl nuclear disaster of 1986. Despite being more than 2,000km away…
Two points to note: Ireland is 10,000 miles from Japan; Chernobyl has little in common with Fukushima.
No-one has died from the nuclear power plant bing hit by the 5th largest earthquake of the past century and a 44 foot tsunami. You can thank great engineering and Japan’s mastery of technology for that.
If you want to look at the perils of power, look at coal:
52 feared dead in Pakistan coal mine explosion
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Posted: 22nd, March 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comments (4)
Libya War New Round-Up: Gaddafi Is a Peado And We’re Running Out Of Pilots
LIBYA – war with Gaddafi: Anorak’s look at story in the news:
Facts:
The House of Commons endorsed the action by a margin of 557 to 13 after the Prime Minister reassured them: “This is not going to be another Iraq.”
The front pages:
i: A licence to Kill Gaddafi?
Killing the leader of foreign country becomes matter of public debate.
The Independent: “The Disunited nations”
The Times: “Gaddafi uses human shields to foil attacks”
Daily Star: “Gadddafi’s human shelf of kids”
This is equipped with photo of Gaddafi stood behind two children, who are each holding what looks like a new toy. Tomorrow, look out for allegations that Gaddafi is a paedo, Muslim, gypsy, Asbo, benefits cheating scumbag. He’ll be wearing a Burberry baseball cap, wearing Argo gems and holding an angry dog on lead in the park by Friday.
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Japan: After Fukushima Tokyo’s SHIBUYA EGGMAN Reactor Explodes
JAPAN’S Media Apocalypse: In the rush to make the Fukushima crisis into a still bigger deal – perhaps even bigger than the tsunami that killed thousands – FOX News produced a map of atomic sites. But there weren’t enough so it added another: SHIBUYA EGGMAN. Only, that’s a club in Tokyo.
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Photos Of Innocent Afghanis ‘Murdered’ For Kicks By US Army ‘Kill Team’
CORPORAL Jeremy Morlock, Andrew Holmes, Michael Wagnon and Adam Winfield are alleged to formed part of a “kill team” that murdered Afghanis for kicks. In all 12 Us soldiers are accused of being in on the gang. The man were part of a Stryker infantry brigade based in Kandahar province. Five are on trial for pre-meditated murder.
Staff Sergeant Calvin Gibbs is accused of cutting off a victim’s finger.
One of their alleged victims was Gul Mudin. He was killed in January 2010 at the village of La Mohammed Kalay “by means of throwing a fragmentary grenade at him and shooting him with a rifle“.
Two other allegedy murdered were Marach Agha and Mullah Adadhdad.
The accused are said to have posed for photos with their victims.
The US Army has apologised for
“We apologize for the distress these photos cause. The photos appear in stark contrast to the discipline, professionalism and respect that has characterized our Soldiers’ performance during nearly 10 years of sustained operations.”
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Posted: 21st, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
How Did The Disaster In Japan Become All About Us?
IT is difficult to get one’s head around just how immense the destruction caused by the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan has been. But that is no excuse for how quickly international observers shifted their focus from the devastation and suffering on the ground to self-obsessive panicking about what the consequences might be for the rest of the world.
After the magnitude-9 earthquake struck off the north-east coast of Japan on 11 March, pushing the island of Honshu 2.4 metres to the east and triggering a 23meter-high tsunami that flooded at least 400 square kilometres of land, the destruction is colossal. The latest figures show that the death toll is likely to top 18,000. Thousands more have been injured and nearly half a million are homeless. In large areas of Japan, people are still contending with a lack of electricity, water and transportation. The World Bank estimates that it could take Japan five years to overcome the catastrophe, at a cost of between £75billion and £145billion.
Yet reporting of the tragedy has shown that concerns about the earthquake’s consequences over there very quickly became submerged by fears of what it all means for us, over here.
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Posted: 21st, March 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comment (1)
Libya: Allies Warm Their Cosy Assets On Gaddafi’s Lap
WHILE I couldn’t care less about the fate of togaed Gaddafi and his open-necked colleagues, I am intrigued by the new language of the UN’s war against Libya. ‘Military assets’, ‘naval assets’, ‘intelligence assets’: I don’t recall any ‘assets’ during the Iraq invasion when the the lingo of the fairground for mass destruction gained common currency (‘shock and awe’ etc).
My assumption is that someone in PR dreamt up ‘assets’ for the ongoing purpose of sanitising and propagandising instruments of war. ‘Asset’ is a word that customarily belongs to business and investment: it connotes something of economic value. In the general sense, an asset is a valuable item. Rather than focus on the purpose of a tank, rocket, submarine, what have you, someone has decided instead to emphasise value; and to have something of value one must own it. So, all these killer assets are first and foremost property – it is this euphemistic line of thinking that our leaders would have us follow when we listen to the news. Think assets, think house, car, garden… Tomahawk Rocket? Almost cosy.
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Libya: Jingoistic News Of The World ‘Photoshops’ Tomahawk Missiles
LIBYA: You know how the News of The World led with the jingoistic front-page headline that the Libyans loyal to Gaddafi (as well as anyone else in the area who might be collaterally damaged) were being “BLOWN TO BRITS”?
We were told:
A British submarine blasted a string of 20 Libyan air defence units after launching a storm of 112 deadly accurate Tomahawk missiles
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Star Wars V Withnail & I: Must See TV
STAR Wars versus Withnail & I. Two of the greatest films merge into one great video. RaffJones – thanks:
Wayne Rooney And Coleen In ‘Crisis’: Emergency Holiday And Bentley May Save Love
ARE Wayne Rooney and Coleen Rooney heading for separate agents? Rooney’s £200,000-a-week wage can be divided equally, almost without a calculator, but what about the brand? While CW was never quite VB (Victoria and David’s Beckham’s love on a monogrammed towel), adverts for perfumes and supermarket ownbrand fashions, flushing it away down the WC seems rash.
Anyhow, the source of the story is the Mirror, which leads with news that “Rooney’s marriage in crisis”.
Readers learn:
Fed-up Coleen Rooney has flown her family out on a £100,000 Caribbean holiday away from the pressure of her strained marriage to Wayne.
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Posted: 21st, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (6)
How Good Barack Obama Is Nothing Like Bad George Bush
FIRST the good news: Barack Obama is not the first American leader heading to the Middle East to overthrow a local nutter. The last one was called George Bush – and Obama is most definitely not him. No way. This ain’t no Iraq. This is Libya.
Says Barack Obama:
“The President does not have power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation.”
Don Surber corrects him:
Actually, he does. It’s called the War Powers Act. It has been around since 1973.
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Posted: 20th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment (1)
Jersey Man Pay’s £78,000 For Kate Middleton Old Dress (Still Warm And Unwashed?)
THE man who bought Kate Middleton’s see-through dress for £78,000 is Jersey’s Nicky Roberts. He’s the nephew of Jersey David Gainsborough-Roberts owners of the world’s largest genuine collection of Monroe second-hands goods, aka memorabilia.
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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment
The Super Moon In Incredible High Resolution Photos: The Lunar Rock Looms Large
DID you see the moon? The super moon – did you see it? Anorak was on the south coast. The moon was huge and bright. The light hit the sea, casting a triangle of brilliance. Sometimes you just have to stop and stare as the moon was at its closest point to the Earth for almost two decades. Those who climbed St. Michael’s Tower on Glastonbury Tor saw the wonder. So too those who live in Manchester, where the moon glowed in technicolour. Click the photos to make them huge.
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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Charlie Sheen Is Now A Terrible Tattoo
HOW will you remember Charlie Sheen when his nuclear meltdown has ended?
A small stain on the sheets from browsing his goddesses?
A realisation that Two And A Half Men, the show you never watched before you heard of Sheen, is The Odd Couple & A Brat?
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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Japan’s Media Apocalypse: Daily Mail’s Richard Shears Sees Cowardly Japanese And Brave British Hookers
JAPAN’S Media Apocalypse: Tokyo is dead. Well, it is according to the Daily Mail’s Richard Shears, who headlines his insight into life in the huge metropolis:
Dark days in ghost town of Tokyo: The deserted streets of a once vibrant capital now crippled by power cuts
The streets are not deserted. The Mail uses photos of a man walking down a street with mobile phones press to his ear. He wears no mask. It is night or very early in the morning? We are not told. The man looks calm.
Shears says “nobody wants to risk breathing the air“. (Best buy the canned stuff, then.)
Now Tokyo, usually so full of life by day and night, has the aura of death about it.
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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comment (1)
Casey Heynes Is Anorak’s Man Of The Year: Teenage Victim Hits Back At Bully (Video)
CASEY Heynes, 16, has been suspended from Chifley College, Dunheved Campus in St. Marys North, NSW, for what you are about to see in the video. You will see a little scrote called Richard Gale /aka Ritchard Gale (allegedly) punch Casey in the face. The weedy little bully teases the bigger lad. Casey takes it. And then Casey does what you want him to. He reacts.
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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comments (32)
Katie Price And Leandro Penna Smooch In The Queen’s Box At Cheltenham
KATIE Price, aka Jordan, has usurped Her Majesty the Queen’s Royal box (fnar). So reports the Daily Star in the front-page screamer entitled:
“QUEEN JORDAN UNSEATS ROYALS – she hijacks Her Maj’s box at races”
Anorak sees an image of Jordan running off with said box, spraying it orange and sticking some peonies in it. Keen to erase the image from mind, we read on:
Katie Price was the queen of celebrity as she partied in the royal box at Cheltenham yesterday. Horse-mad star Katie Price watched the Gold Cup race with new boyfriend Leandro Penna, 25.
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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
