Key Posts Category
The Man Who Shot Mark Saunders: Armed Officer Inserted Songs Into Testimony For A Laugh
MARK Saunders was shot dead by police after a five hour siege in Chelsea. Saunders was drunk and carrying a 12-bore shotgun. The law says they acted legally. Well, almost all of them did, allegedly. One Metropolitan police firearms officer (code name: Alpha Zulu 8) has been suspended from the Force for allegedly “inserting song titles” into his oral evidence at the dead man’s inquest.
Ha-ha! A man has been shot dead – mpiosisbly by Alpha Zulu 8 – but let’s not get down.
His testimony – spot the songs (and it is diverse musical taste, from Duran Duran to Barbra Streisand):
“As I play it back in my mind, which is not something I do all the time, but in quiet moments I think about and I feel: ‘is there any other way?’ [American hi-fi]. But every time I play it back in my mind [Elis Paul] it’s the same outcome – unfortunately Mr Saunders gets shot because of his actions.
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Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (23)
Scottish School Builds Cage For Autistic Boy
TO keep the 18-year-old autistic boy away form the other students at Nicolson Institute, on the Western Isles, the school has build him an outdoor cage.
The teenager spends much of his time alone in school room – six hours a day. And the school thought it an idea to get him fresh air. So they stuck together seven large steel crowd control barriers. (What – no Wicker Man?)
His family had raised around £500 to help with the build of a recreational area.
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Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (8)
Lily Allen Loses Baby On Twitter: Triggers Orchestrated Grief And Mourn Porn
LILY Allen is no longer pregnant, having lost her baby. She was six months pregnant. Sad news. For her. It is a bereavement. But to the tabloid media and grandstanding celebrities looking to show strangers how much they care it is a matter of national solidarity and orchestrated mawkish pity. The front-page headline commands readers to:
“SAY A LITTLE PRAYER”.
For a paper that sucked up regurgitated ever line Alistair Campbell spun – he who told Tony Blair: “I’m sorry, we don’t do God” – this looks like opportunism to get a celebrity on the cover. But, then, we read on and realise that Lily Allen is the source of the quote. She went on Twitter to tell her followers (fans and showbiz hacks looking for a quote on a slow new day):
“Say a little prayer.”
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Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (52)
The Best Signs From The Jon Stewart Colbert Restore Fear Rally: The Wit And The Witless
PHOTOS from the Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert restore fear and restore sanity rally show that the left wing can be as funny as the right – albeit when placards holders are not being earnest, too-clever by half and dumb. Of course, people who hold placards are the same type of people whatever their political bent. They are the greater placard waving community. Enjoy these photos of the placards. Work your way through them all. (Some of the best ones are at the end of the gallery.) Was it really such a good idea to advertise your wit to lack of it on the top of a stick?
The best tea-party protest signs
Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
Coco’s Medical Marvels Rocks Heidi Klum’s Halloween Party: Photos
COCO Austin and a bevy of celebs attended Heidi Klum’s Halloween do.
Stylebrity has more. But how do you follow this?
Halloween Rave Photos: What Really Happened When Police ‘Stormed’ London Party
Halloween Costumes To Offend And Sicken In Photos
Posted: 1st, November 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Illegal Holborn Rave Was A Smokers’ Revolution And Against State Control
THE illegal rave in Holborn, London, was an act of defiance to state control over everything – even our music:
THERE is much more to this than meets the eye. While the Daily Mail squawks indignantly about an “illegal” rave, as if it was something special and different, barely a weekend goes by without something very similar, on exactly the same scale, being held somewhere in London. The only thing different here was that it was slightly more “in your face” than usual, with a central London location instead of the East End, Brixton or some such.
The “rave” scene, however – or “skumtech” as the players call it – is a direct response to the over-regulation of public music performances, where music must be licensed and approved by the state, even down to genre, with high taxes on drinks and door fees that make normal places non viable – to say nothing of the smoking ban.
It is not a rebellion, as such – simply a lot of people doing their own thing, in their own way. It only becomes an issue if the police move in and try to stamp their authority on the event. Normally, they keep a respectable distance and do not interfere.
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Posted: 1st, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (10)
Stephen Fry To Host ‘Catting’ Summit With Slapper: Princess Diana Memorial (Usual Time)
STEPHEN Fry has flounced off Twitter almost a year to the day he last quit twitter (the migratory bird of habit is back) and – whatsitpopsit – over the kerfuffle over his words in Attitude magazine that woman don’t like sex as much as straight men. Says he in an attempt to extend his 140 character wit limit:
“If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas.”
There are, Stephen. There is the buffet at the David Lloyd club in Bushey, Herts; the Princess Diana memorial between the horus of 2:am and 3am every Third Sunday in the month; France.
Just because you’ve not been invited, Stephen, does not man the legend is untrue. Fry goes on:
“Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking, “God, I’ve got to get my ******* rocks off”, or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to s**g behind a bush.”
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Posted: 1st, November 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Corinne Sawers Models Saddam Hussein’s Gold Kalashnikov On Facebook: MI6 Boss Dad Takes Photo?
CORINNE Sawers, 23, is the daughter of Sir John Sawers posing with a gold-plated Kalashnikov rifle for a Facebook shoot. The weapon was once, reportedly, in the clutches of Saddam Hussein.
She got her hands on the weapon because it was given to her dad as a token of thanks for his time as the UK’s special representative in Baghdad, following the 2003 invasion.
Anorak wonders what else he got? Have the palaces’ taps been accounted for and isn’t Corinne’s top the same one George Galloway wore on Big Brother?
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Posted: 1st, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
X Factor: Jay Kay On Shagging The ‘F*cking Useless’ Cheryl Cole
ON the X Factor, Jamiroquai lead singer Jay Kay is appraising Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue contributions to music:. They are, says Jay Kay, “fucking useless.”
“What are they going to tell me about fucking music?
“What the fuck. When have you ever done anything? You’re useless. The pair of you. I mean you look great and I’d like to fucking shag you but that’s all.”
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Posted: 31st, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (12)
Police Say Naked Women Being Pinned Down In Cell Assaulted Them: This Video Proves Her Innocence
STEPHANIE Rutter did not assault any of the four police officers sat on her naked body in the police cell.
Rutter was arrested after a row with her lover. She was taken to the Cheshire police station. Something happened to her clothes. They got ripped. Police cut them off her. She is now naked. She is naked in a cell after a row with her boyfriend.
What then happened? Well, four police officers say Rutter assaulted them. All of them. One woman police sergeant, a woman PC and a male and female detention officer say the naked women assauted them. Got it?
The matter gets as far as Runcorn Magistrates’ Court, Cheshire. There, the law watches a video of CCTV footage taken from the station cells. Rutter is being elbowed in the jaw. She is being pinned to the floor. Rutter is being handcuffed. Her legs are in braces. A man stands on her legs. A woman kneels on her face.
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Posted: 31st, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (5)
Halloween Rave Photos: What Really Happened When Police ‘Stormed’ London Party
TO the illegal rave in London’s Museum Street, High Holborn. Reacting to a tip off that 500 people were enjoying themselves in disused building, the riot police arrive.
UPDATE: Illegal Holborn Rave Was A Smokers’ Revolution And Against State Control
The Mail calls them “600 Halloween youths”.
Well, so say the paper of record’s headline. The story one line down tells readers:
A number of officers were injured when bottles were hurled during clashes with a crowd of up to 500 youths at a disused building in central London.
One hundred Halloween youths have vanished! Only to reappear:
Witnesses said outnumbered officer were forced to retreat as more than 600 baying ravers emerged from the building chanting ‘f*** the police’.
You mean the Halloween police who had shut down their fun?
Anyhow, what of the “riot”? Says Sky News:
Seven people were arrested and three people injured – including one police officer – after bricks and bottles were used as missiles.
Bad luck to be hurt. But it’s not a riot. The copper who was injured is ok. And – what’s this – the police behaved sensibly!?
A Met spokesperson said elements of the estimated 500-strong crowd became aggressive after being asked to move on.
He said the decision to allow the rave to continue was part of a “containment strategy”, adding: “Officers at the scene have a watching brief.”
Or as this site says:
Illegal rave in London turns violent as police storm building
Storm?
The Guardian tells us:
Police were first called to the event in a disused building at 11.20pm last night. They said some people became aggressive after being asked to leave the area and commanders then called in dozens of riot squad officers from the Met’s territorial support group (TSG).
A number of buildings and vehicles were damaged during the affray but most of the revellers went back into the eight-storey building where the event was taking place after the clashes.
So. What happened? Were you there..?
UPDATE: Illegal Holborn Rave Was A Smokers’ Revolution And Against State Control
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Posted: 31st, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (10)
Gilbert Deya’s Guide To Surviving Halloween
GILBERT Deya is here to help you through Halloween. Gilbert is the leading light of Gilbert Deya Ministries in He broadcasts on the Deya Broadcasting Network (Sky Channel 595).
His latest book is called Devil Born In Human Bodies And How Witches Fly. It’s a cracking read, including a story of a “Baby Boiled By Her Mother – and many other topics.”
Juliet Breitman V Menagh: Four Year Old Cyclist Sued Over Woman’s Death
JULIET Breitman is being sued as a child of four years and nine months of age who drove her bicycle into one Claire Menagh, 87, in New York, causing the women to fall, damage her hip and then die three months later.
Juliet is deemed to have been able to be responsible for her own actions. That was April 2009. Now she’s older, we think Juliet should defend herself in court. Dougie Howser proved that a youngster could hack it as a doctor. Time is ripe for a TV series about young lawyer. Juliet Brietman is for hire. Did you pet die in mysterious circumstances? Is being told to eat our greens a breach of your human rights? Juilet Brietman will fight for you.
Back to the prelude. It’s April 2009 in New York City. Juliet Breitman and Jacob Kohn are with their mothers Dana Breitman and Rachel Kohn. The hotshot young lawyers are cycling – nay, racing – along the pavement near the East River in Manhattan.
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Posted: 30th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Halloween Costumes To Offend And Sicken In Photos
AS Halloween looms, we look at the season of ill and deliver a gallery of the most awful, tasteless and plain wrong costumes of all time. Don’t we caught wearing something boring. Go the extra yard and really aim to offend. Enjoy. No. 9 is our favourite – its truly brilliant…
Posted: 30th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Matt Cardle Wants Katie Waissel Kicked Off X Factor: Photos
KATIE Waissel did not have sex with Matt Cardle in the X Factor house. This is a fact. This year’s designated hate figure did also not have sex with “fragile” Cher Lloyd, One Direction nor the smart leatherette chair that sits in the Conditoning lounge. What’s more she has never shagged stallion-like Aiden Grimhaw, the lady killer, nor Wagner, the “randy” “oddball” who really is a potential lady killer – literally.
READ: The story of the non-shag sold as an a tabloid exclusive here.
Says Cardle, the vocal Cuddle:
“That stuff about us being in bed together was absolute bullsh*t. Katie’s a fame hungry tw*t. I can’t say any more about it because nothing happened.”
Nothing happened. Got that? Nothing happened. There is no news. ‘Nuff said. Move on.
“I would never go near her. I’m not speaking to her, I don’t have anything to do with her in the house. I’ve made my feelings absolutely clear and if she doesn’t get it by now then she’s more stupid than I thought.”
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Posted: 30th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Man Kicking Dog In Woolwich Park Is Called Arthur Kent: Video And Interview
THE man filmed kicking the dog in Knee Hill Park, Woolwich, south London is called Arthur Kent. He’s 24. He’s been in jail for robbery. Kent says he is “disgusted and ashamed” of his actions. But, in mitigation, he says the dog weed on him and refused to walks on the lead.
The dog is called…Thumper!
Says Arthur Kent, of The:Mary Bale List of Legends:
“He wouldn’t walk so I gave him a kick and a yank. I didn’t mean him no harm, I was just trying to teach him how to walk.”
By kicking him so that he falls down? Kent haters will enjoy his double negative – he didn’t mean not to do it, yer honour.
“The dog was a bit scared of me after that. But I apologised to him, kissed him and gave him some toys.”
This sound sadistic to anyone else? Make the dog rely on your and comply with violence, then show it kindness so that it starts to hope things can be better. Kent would be advised to say no more. He;s stood in a hole and his mouth is a giant spade.
The dog has now escaped Kevin’s feet. Anorak reader Kevin Lomax told us that the puppy is with the RSPCA. Kent says the RSPCA took his pet to a vet who checked it out. The vet sais the dog has been in ”a trauma”. Kent still owns a whippet-cross Staffordshire-terrier.
“They asked me how I could manage to kick 12kgs with such force.”
Practice? Natural talent? The right trainers?
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Posted: 30th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (5)
Christine O’Donnell’s Pubic Hair Turns Gawker Into A Tabloid Whore
GAWKER is in a spot of bother with its story on Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell’s pubic hair. The story is written the first person and details an alleged no-sex sexual encounter between the writer, then aged 25, and Tea Party favourite O’Donnell in her mid-thirties. The story is three years old.
THIS Guy Sold The Story – Dustin Dominiak
It’s the kind of thing you might read in the British tabloids. It’s a salacious, women-hating, sexually-driven smear. The US does not have a tabloid industry like in the UK. It’s tabloids are celebrity targeted and weekly. But Gawker fills the gap for a daily read pretty well. And now it has entered into red-top territory:
O’Donnell’s camp released a statement saying:
“This story is just another example of the sexism and slander that female candidates are forced to deal with.”
That’s right. The tabloids hate ambitious women. If they are also attractive and sexually active, the tabloids will go for them. Gawker is just a tabloid doing what tabloids do.
Photos Of Democrat Politician Krystal Ball Sucking A Dildo Strapped To A Man’s Face
Gawker milks the attention, as it must, and sticks the statement up at the top of its site. It’s the Daily Mail’s Jan Moir approach to journalism – so long as it is offensive, bigoted and sensational and the media becomes the story – good job:
The National Organization for Women (NOW) on Thursday condemned the tabloid website Gawker for publishing an anonymous account: NOW issued a statement late Thursday stating that “sexist, misogynist attacks against women have no place in the electoral process, regardless of a particular candidate’s political ideology.”
“NOW repudiates Gawker’s decision to run this piece. It operates as public sexual harassment. And like all sexual harassment, it targets not only O’Donnell, but all women contemplating stepping into the public sphere,” said NOW president Terry O’Neill.
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Posted: 29th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (6)
Halloween Tattoo Photos Are Revolting, Ugly And Looking Like You
HALLOWEEN: Forget the costume – however revolting it is (and it is), why not go the final yard and sort yourself out with scary tattoo? We’ve compiled a gallery of fright tats people wear on their skin all year round. Perhaps they use them to distract attention from their hideously disfigured faces? Perhaps they are self-portraits, soft-introductions before the mask is lifted and the full fleshy horror revealed..?
Scarifying Tattoos – A Gallery Of The Revolting
Halloween Costumes To Offend And Sicken In Photos
Jersey Shore Halloween Costumes Scarier Than X Factor
Tattoos On Faces – The Mughsots
Tattoos: The Misspelled Ones
Posted: 29th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Merseyside Police Filmed Punching Stabbed Darren Grace In Head: Video
DARREN Grace has been stabbed in the head. He has made his way to Stanley Park, Liverpool. Merseyside Police come to his aid. They assist him by repeatedly punching him the head and body.
Police says: “CCTV images can never show the whole story.”
They say enough. The man is down. The man is bleeding. The police – three of them – beat him up. What did we miss? Can the police tell us how the camera lies – then explain why we need so much CCTV to crack crime and speed cameras to criminalise motorists? The police violence was captured by the camera operated by the City Council’s Citywatch.
The cameras offer, “improved public reassurance and a public deterrent to offenders.”
The tape is shown to The Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC). The IPCC says it is happy for the Merseyside Police to conduct its own investigation. Yeah, really.
Mr Grace has lodged no formal complaint with Merseyside Police. He will not take part in the investigation because he says he has no confidence in the force.
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Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (8)
The X Factor Machine Turns Oscar Wilde Fan Aiden Grimshaw Into A Sex God
X Factor Aiden Grimshaw is getting the Joe McElderry treatment. Grimshaw, the singer who looks like Jennifer Capriati being told “No”, is not gay. Look beyond the camp stance and the Oscar Wilde T-shirts, and know that the teenager is not a gay man nor is he a womaniser.
Before he came out as gay, McElderry was the subject of a PR plot delivered as tabloid news that had him yearning for the show’s other 2009 agonist Rachel Adedeji. This in the Mirror:
X Factor heartthrob Joe McElderry is hoping love will blossom with former contestant Rachel Adedeji. Geordie Joe – now bookies’ favourite to win thanks to a huge fan base of adoring teenage girls – became close to Rachel during her time in the X Factor house. And the pair have since spent hours on the phone to each other. “Joe thinks Rachel’s totally amazing,” our source said. “They were best mates in the house but he’d like her to be his girlfriend.
Only Joe is gay.
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Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
The Cardboard Toilet Roll Tube Is Dead: A History Of The Tube In Photos
THE cardboard toilet roll tube is dead. In the US, bum wipers, football fans and puppies are being turned to Scott Naturals Tube-Free toilet paper.
Kimberly-Clark makes the stuff. It’s brand manager Doug Daniels tells USA Today:
“[I] won’t disclose the tubeless technology used but says it’s a special winding process. A similar process is used on tissue the company sells to businesses but not to consumers.”
Tubeless toilet paper is one more way to pretend you’re working at an office and not in your pyjamas at home.
And what fo the toilet roll inner, that circle of cardboard that has been used to: grow carrots; make a puppet, Easter egg stands, art, and masks?
Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)
X Factor 2010: Cher Lloyd And Katie Waissel Work On Their Hate
THE long gap between the short songs on the X Factor is fuelled by Katie Waissel stories about how much she is “hated”.
The aim is simple: keep Katie in the news headlines and create a polarity of opinion among the show’s fans.
But she’s not alone in being the topic of the PR storm. The tabloid focus is on Katie and Cher Lloyd.
The narrative is that Cher Lloyd is “fragile”. The Mirror reports that Simon Cowell has asked One Direction to look after “fragile” Cher.
And here’s hated Katie, or rather hated Katie’s caring dad Maurice. He tells the Mail:
“I’ve had Katie sobbing on the phone to me every night. She’s had death threats sent to her over the internet, and we’ve had to ask the police to intervene. Only the other night, Katie said to me: ‘Dad, what’s the point in going on if everyone hates me?’
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Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Spanish Prostitutes Ordered To Wear Orange Vests Like The Queen
TO Els Alamus in Catalonia, Spain, where the town’s councilmen are threatening to fine prostitutes who fail to wear an orange reflective vest while working the kerb. (Orange skin is no longer enough.)
The official reason is that it prevents traffic accidents.
But the Mail has a new angle. Get a load of its page. It’s Royal Yellow, like Queen Elizabeth 2 wears.
(Did the Mail do this on purpose – liken our Queen to a prostitute?)
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Posted: 27th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Lady Gaga At The Dublin 02 In Big Photos: The Battered Sausage Tour
LADY Gaga was at the O2 in Dublin for one leg of The Monster Ball Tour. But we saw her in London, stood outside the Sea Shell Fish Bar in Marylebone. This is the eatery where Michael Jackson once arrived for his battered sausage.
These are very big photos (give them a second or two to download):
Marie Claire Let Maura Kelly Abuse Fat People For Fame And Web Traffic
ROLL over Jan Moir – Maura Kelly is making her bid to become the world’s most odious, pisspoor columnist in her attack on fat people for Marie Claire.
We’ll deliver the best bits of an article that Kelly’s editor allowed to be published.
But before that a few words about Dear Maura Kelly, who realises that so long as you create a name for yourself, your publication will employ you:
Although she’s in her thirties, she’s never been in love before — and has started to wonder if she ever will be. She’s decided to start making dating her job if it’s ever going to happen. Hence, this blog.
Her lack of love is now her livelihood. What else do we know about Dear Maura Kelly?
She rides her vintage Raleigh as often as possible – usually wearing heels, and always wearing her helmet. (She will not be a fashion victim!) Some of the things she loves: indie rock, peanut butter, Fellini films, the Brooklyn Bridge, running (slowly) in Prospect Park (always wearing New Balance sneakers) and The Brothers Karamazov. And definitely her friends, too; her tight circle includes a fashion designer, a hard news journalist, a couple magazine editors, a bike messenger-turned-lawyer, a professor of philosophy and an aspiring screenwriter.
Because Maura Kelly has no-one special to share her life with, she will share it with you, her imaginary friends. (If you want to be real friend and make the list you need a job Maura thinks will reflect well on her, like a vivisectionist or a jihadi who retained as an architect.)
Dear Maura Kelly has been invited to write on a sitcom called Mike & Molly. It’s about two lovers who meet at Overeaters Anonymous. Dear Maura hasn’t seen the show but is still able to review it. It’s called “Should Fatties Get a Room?”
The other day, my editor asked me, “Do you really think people feel uncomfortable when they see overweight people making out on television?” Because I can be kind of clueless — I’m not much of a TV person — I had no idea what she was talking about…
Kelly read about the show. Because Kelly is a proper journalist who does her research.
My initial response was: Hmm, being overweight is one thing — those people are downright obese! And while I think our country’s obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy, I also think it’s at least equally crazy, albeit in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity! Yes, anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny. No one who is as fat as Mike and Molly can be healthy.
Dear Maura Kelly is on a roll, so to speak:
And obesity is costing our country far more in terms of all the related health problems we are paying for, by way of our insurance, than any other health problem, even cancer.
The war on the fat is a big deal in the UK, too. In the country that bangs on about equal opportunities, the fat are still fair game for abuse.
So anyway, yes, I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.
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Posted: 27th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)
