PlayGirl Levi Johnston Is Sarah Palin’s Naked Kill Of The Day

LEVI Johnston, former son-in-law-to-be to Sarah Palin, wants to show his Crunchwrap Supremes to readers of the Playgirl website – the magazine closed earlier this year and Playgirl went for more porn and less writing to appeal more to, er, women.

The first problem is that “Levi’s handler” – who turns out to be someone other than his numb left hand – says he’s unsure whether to show “the front or the back”. And therein lies the trouble for Playgirl, the organ men would buy for their “girlfriends” and women wouldn’t buy at all.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment (1)

Derren Brown Lottery Balls Evokes The Radio Ventriloquist

HOW did Derren Brown pull off his lottery trick in which the illusionist picked the six winning numbers? How did someone performing on that must trusted of media – the telly – pull of a trick? Derren Brown brings back memories of radio ventriloquists who were great exponents of their art until someone filmed them doing it. Hey, Derren, we can see your lips moving.

Paul Daniels told us before the TV trick:

“He could get it exactly right … [but] it is much better for a mentalist if he gets one wrong. It is more believable. I would be very surprised, however, if he gives away a damn good trick but, even if he does, there are another 99 ways to do it.”

Of course there are 99 says of doing it, Paul, because magic is magick and there is no containing it. One viewer observed Brown’s slight of hand:

Between Derren saying “23” & “28”, the left-hand ball moves upwards! (clearly the moment of mixing from split-screen to full-screen again, after correct-numbered balls have been placed).

As Derren jumps around on his half of the screen and distracts you fwom any wobble, the last word is with Paul Daniels:

He said Brown was unlikely to give away his secret and would instead be vague in his explanation, employing “gobbledegooky” and putting the trick down to something like “neuro-linguistic programming”.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Katie Price Spat At And Her Secret Love Texts To Peter Andre

KATIE Price would like to tell Peter Andre something:

“I STILL LOVE YOU PETE“

The Daily Mirror delivers the front-page message. And its one we’ve heard before, specifically in OK! magazine last week:

“Kate I texted me two weeks ago saying she is still in love with me. I’ve not been sending abusive texts. I haven’t responded – I will never go back. Never.”

Now the Mirror has the, er, exclusive:

Jordan begged Peter Andre to forgive her just 2 weeks before divorce. Katie Price sent a series of love texts asking Peter Andre to put aside the hurt and bitterness of their breakup and give her another chance.

With a split looking inevitable, the model known as Jordan sent her ex the late-night messages two weeks before their divorce – and behind lover Alex Reid’s back.

The messages said: “Pete, you were my fairtytale,” and: “I still love you – give us another chance. x.” Another was: “Why can’t it go back to how it used to be – you, me, J, P and H?”

And how did the messages make their way from Dignified Peter Andre’s phone to the Mirror? Were they stolen?

In other Katie Price news, the Star tells us:

JORDAN SPAT AT IN STREET ATTACK

TORMENTED Kate Price is in emotional meltdown after she was abused and spat on in the street. The glamour girl was left traumatised by the confrontation with a middle-aged woman. She is now too terrified to leave the house without her new lover, cage-fighter Alex Reid, at her side.

And fears are…

She has cancelled three jobs in the last week because she is scared to face the public. And sources at her Surrey home say Kate spends most of the day in her bedroom, sparking fears she is battling severe depression.

Or Jordan’s watching telly and taking the children to school as the summer term starts. In other news:

Meanwhile, it emerged yesterday that Peter, 36, will be surrounded by minders on his album tour next week – to protect him from sex- hungry girls.

And to make him look more popular than he is…

Katie Price’s career in pictures

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Baby P Lived With A Terrorist, Abdulla Ahmed Ali Was Innocent

HAVING failed in its campaign to get all social workers who dealt with the Baby P case sacked, the Sun now latches on to the news that Haringey social workers placed a child with relatives of Abdulla Ahmed Ali, who led the plot to blow up at least seven transatlantic flights from London, murdering 1,500 people.

Cue a tabloid storm, leading to the front-page screamer:

“Baby P council let foster kid live with terrorist”

Not that Abdulla Ahmed Ali was a convicted terrorist when a child was placed with his relatives. You see, Abdulla Ahmed Ali didn’t foster a child. But still, close enough.

A spokesman for the council says:

“The placement here was made after checks and before anyone was made aware of any terrorist activity in the extended family network. The child was moved immediately when the police were in touch and arrests were made in 2006. The family no longer fosters for Haringey.”

The Mail’s hack press f9 and makes things even worse:

Chillingly, it is feared the ruthless terrorist may even have planned to use the infant as cover when taking bombs on to a plane – meaning it would have been among the victims.

The Star goes one better. It knows:

Ali even discussed using the child as “camouflage” on the mid-air suicide mission.

No, he discussed using a child.

And then comes a piece of political opportunism:

The Conservative Party’s shadow children’s secretary Michael Gove tonight expressed fears that Haringey would not learn lessons from the new revelations. Mr Gove said: ‘It’s truly frightening to think that the social services department of this council placed a child with a terrorist, and even more so to think that the child could have been used as part of the foil for the bomb plot.’Haringey council needs to make public exactly what vetting procedures it has in place to ensure that this can never happen again. As with the Baby Peter tragedy, there has been far too much secrecy, which raises the concern that lessons will not be learnt.’

Well said. Here here. Haringey needs to investigate all foster parents and familes for any relatives that may be thinking about killing people. Gove does not say how this will done, only yhat it must be.

The Daily Express wails: “BABY P COUNCIL PUT CHILD IN TERROR PLOTTER’S HOUSE”

The child lived in the same house as “cold-eyed fanatic” Abdulla Ahmed Ali as he laid schemes to massacre tens of thousands of innocent passengers on transatlantic flights.

But it to the Sun we look for real vitriol aimed at Haringey. How very dare it go against the paper’s campaign to sack social workers.

Last night the astonishing blunder – by the SAME council slammed over the death of Baby P – left MPs horrified. Anti-terror cops had kept Ali under surveillance and seen the foster child.

So they should have removed the child and thus alerted Ali to the idea that the authorities were onto him?

Outraged local Lib Dem MP Lynne Featherstone declared yesterday: “Just when you think Haringey cannot get any worse, it does. This beggars belief.”

Says the concil:

Yesterday Haringey insisted Ali did NOT live at the same property as the fostered child – then couched the statement to say only they had “no record” of him doing so. An official insisted the foster family was checked with the Criminal Records Bureau.

Hatingey went by the book, then? But let’s have some speucaltion:

A source said of the foster child’s placement: “A desperate shortage of Muslim foster families may have been a factor. Muslim children can only be placed with people of the same faith and the need to find foster parents could mean corners were cut in the vetting process.”

The facts: Haringery council placed a child with hie peer group. The family the child was placed with had no criminal record and wanted to care for a child. And the Sun failed in its camping to have ahringey social workers sacked.

In other news:

The three people jailed over Baby Peter Connelly’s death have been denied leave to appeal against their sentences. The 17-month-old boy died in Haringey, north London, in August 2007. His mother Tracey, 28, and her partner Steven Barker, 33, were given minimum terms of five and 12 years for causing or allowing the baby’s death.

Baby P: Rest In Peace.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

Stars Get Call Screening As Jermaine Jackson’s Funeral Disco Plugs London Tribute Gig

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the new: As far back as yesterday, Anorak was looking forward to the big Michael Jackson tribute, featuring Jermaine Jackson, Janet Jackson, La Toya Jackson, Bianca Jackson, Colin Jackson, Stonewall Jackson, Katherine Jackson and top Austrian stars like Hans Und Knees, the yodelling pantomime horse, contortionist Helmut Hertz and the Von Trapps.

Now we hear that the show is off.

Anorak

Posted: 11th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

The Moral Panic That Created The Independent Safeguarding Authority

PAEDO! It’s the tabloids’ favourite scare story. So good news then that the Government is introducing a database for every adult who comes into regular contact with children, the mentally ill and the aged, checking for criminal convictions, disciplinary action and responses to anonymous tip-offs but the “Paedo!” at No.23.

The vulnerable are being protected.

Former News of the World editor Rebekah Wade once spoke of her paper’s campaign against paedos: “There are 110,000 sex offenders in Britain – one for every square mile”. But not necessarily evenly spaced out.

“The fact is, that if you have paedophiles in society that aren’t monitored they will strike again,” she said.

A NoTW headline read “Police want you to help trap these paedophiles” and the newspaper published photographs of seven wanted child abusers with backing from the police to “name and shame” them.

Light the torches – we march at dusk:

Ms Eithne Wallis The first national director of the Probation Servicesaid the newspaper risked driving paedophiles out of the sight of probation staff. “I would certainly ask them to think again about the wisdom of what they are actually doing.”

This new drive  is about saving the kids from paedos. Panic over! Childhood innocence (Jamie Bulger) can be protected from adult evil (Mother Teresa). Tabloids Rejoice! The new Independent Safeguarding Authority (ISA) will route the paedos!

So here’s the Chicken Little of scare stories the Daily Mail to tell us:

Now Big Brother targets helpful parents as one in four Britons are to be vetted for giant child protection database

Anorak

Posted: 11th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (6)

Ellen Degenes Joins American Idol, Paula Abdul Twitter Pics

ELLEN DeGeneres says she will be honest in her new role as American Idol popstar maker, as Paula Abdul reacts:

“I think it’s going to be hard, but as my career has grown… I’ve learned how to be tougher and learned how to say no – I think I can do it, and I think I can do it in a respectful way.”

Honesty is the best policy:

On the same day her hiring was announced, some of the world’s largest recording companies – including Sony, where Simon Cowell lives – Universal and EMI – are suing Ellen’s show, claiming its producers violated their copyrights by playing more than 1,000 songs without permission – many of the songs were allegedly played during a segment where DeGeneres dances through the audience.

As Buffalo News adds:

But what, you ask, does she know about pop music? Quite a bit: Her show is, in large part, about music, albeit dance (and over the summer she finally took lessons from professionals).

No, not lawyers, Other professionals, allegedly.

So Ellen learnt all she know about music from her daytime telly show, which is being sued for copyright infringements. But what of Paula Abdul, the head on hands former Idol judge now replaced by Degeneres? Well, news is that she is lucid:

“American Idol is a fantastic show that offers an invaluable platform to young talent. Ellen DeGeneres is wildly funny and talented in her own right. I wish her and the show only the best of luck.”

And then to re-enforce just how happy-happy-happy she is, Abdul wrote on Twitter:

Abdul says she wishes DeGeneres “the best of luck,” and that she (prepare for Twitter/IM lingo) “will b a gr8 judge on Idol.“

Abdul is taking the news well. I’t sGrrrrrrrrrr… It’s Grrrrrrrr… It’s Greeeeee..8!. But can she take second hit? News reaches us that Degeneres has scored a role as judge on the The Shine A Light program, which recognises everyday small businesses.

Up for the big one is The Cheese Lady, one of a mere 1,965 online nominees competing for a chance at a $50,000 grant and $50,000 in marketing support.

“The Cheese Lady began selling high-end, gourmet cheeses at the Muskegon Farmers Market over five years ago,” Berntson said in his nomination. “Kathleen has turned selling cheese into an art form.”

Along with Fashion icon Diane Von Furstenberg, MSNBC’s J.J. Ramberg, Degeneres will pick the final three. It’s an American Idol for capitalism.

Come on, Paula. Get your new business started. Ellen is here to help…

Anorak

Posted: 11th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

England WAGs Orgy In South Africa, In Pictures

WORLD Cup Watch: “FAB CAP SLAP SEX BAN ON WAGS” screams the Sun from its front page. “FAB BANS WAGS,” nods the Mirror fron its.

FAB is Fabio Capello, the one who will be the tabloids’ Fabio Crapello should England fail in South Africa. But with passage to the World Cup finals secured, attention turns to the WAGs, the lads’ cheerbleeders who will show Cape Town shopkkepers what a swarm of locusts really looks like.

Capllo says the tournament is not a “holiday“, warning the WAGs:

“If you don’t like it, don’t come… I hope this period that we are at the World Cup will be very long.The players will have one day with their family, with the girls and friends. It will be one day a week, after each game and that is enough. That’s it.”

Anorak

Posted: 11th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Caster Semenya Has ‘Internal Testes’ And ‘No Womb’

CASTER Semenya is the man? Caster Semenya has both male and female organs, so reports the Sun? Fact: the 18 year old winner of the 800m at the World Athletics Championships is a man. Well, possibly a fact.

Semenya has no womb or ovaries, says the claim. Caster Semenya has internal testes.

An IAAF source is quoted thus:

“There certainly is evidence now that Semenya is a hermaphrodite. But the trouble is the IAAF now have the whole ANC and the whole of South Africa on their backs. Everything is going to have to be done absolutely by the book, no question of a challenge to our findings.”

Which is why the source has just told the international media about the latest findings, to do it by the book?

But let’s not bee too hard on this humble book keeper. The Athletics South Africa (ASA) is defending its athlete to an extent that it stuck her in a dress, made up her face and sat her on the cover of YOU magazine, a local gossip mag, her new hair-do beside the headline:

“WOW! LOOK AT CASTE NOW”

So we look. And Caster Semenya looks like the one who played the bass for Cool And The Gang. Caster Semenya is beign paraded for our perusal. She is not being her own woman, or man. She is being controlled. Says YOU:

“Athletics star Caster Semenya as you’ve never seen her before – transformed by YOU from powergirl to glamour girl.”

No longer a woman, Caster Semenya is now a girl. Any more branding and she’ll be a toddler scampering around a tack trying to escape a voracious foreign press as she seeks comfort in the bosom of daddy Jacob Zuma and loving arms of Mother South Africa.

Says Caster Semenya in YOU:

“I’d like to dress up more often and wear dresses but I never get the chance. I’d also like to learn to do my own make-up… I’ve never bought my own clothes – my mum buys them for me. But now that I know what I can look like, I’d like to dress like this more often.”

Well, she is a champions, and with gold comes geld. And the WAGs.

Meanwhile, while Caster goes shopping, the man at the IAAF is still talking:

There’s all sorts of scans you do. This is why it’s complicated.

What d’yer mean complicated? YOU has put her in a dress and turned her into a girl. Easy. Move on.

In the past you used to do a gynaecological exam, blood test, chromosome test, whatever. That’s why the findings were challenged, because it’s not quite so simple. So what they do now is they do everything, and then they can say look, not only has she got this, she’s got that and the other. The problem for us is to avoid it being an issue now which is very personal: of the organs being a hermaphrodite, of not being a ‘real’ woman. It’s very dramatic.”

No, it’s a person. And if Cater Semenya is not a woman, the matter is not why she wanted to run but why was she ever allowed to travel to Berlin to compete in the first place?

Anorak

Posted: 10th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (9)

The Best Jaycee Dugard Jokes Ever, With Mark Whicker

JAYCEE Lee Dugard – Anorak’s look at Jaycee Dugard in the news: Mark Whicker creates a media firestorm by featuring Jaycee in his sports column.

WHILE we await the arrival of the Jaycee Lee Dugard trial, shock news that Phillip Garrido is even more nuts than he thought he was and speculate on how many murders he may or may not have committed, the media can talk among itself, and the subject of the day is: Mark Whicker.

Whicker’s crime is to have been caught playing Tabloid Bingo, the game in which you try to link your vested interest to as many topical news stories as possible. Here’s sports writer Whicker:

It doesn’t sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page. Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year. She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn’t high-fived in a while.She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey. Now, that’s deprivation.

Ending with:

Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard.

A tired attempt at humour, at best. At worse an awful game of Tabloid Bingo. But how offended are you by it? The media reacts:

“Classy, Whicker. Now please go die in a fire someplace so I can use it as a hook for a ‘who’s hot, who’s not’ bit” – JC Bradbury

“This is perhaps the single worst column I’ve read. Ever. Anywhere” – Alex Massie

Anorak

Posted: 10th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Michael Jackson This Is It Concert Features Jesus, Chris Brown And Top Austrian Stars

MICHAEL Jackson Tribute Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the new: The This Is It tribute concert features Jermaine Jackson, Katherine Jackson, more Jacksons, Chris Brown (maybe), Elvis, Jesus, Mary J Blige (maybe), top Austrian acts, and did we mention Jermaine Jackson?

NBC New York: “Michael Jackson Cult to Open Chapel in Brooklyn”. FreeWilliamsburg:

Rusel Parish, a Michael Jackson artist and now leader and spokesperson for the newly arrived Cult of Michael Jackson, is opening a chapel for worshipers on North 6th this Friday, “despite the tragic passing of the object of its obsession”…

Parish hopes to recruit “believers” to help turn the late singer’s songs into scripture, spread the love… “Those plans, I hope, are not apocalyptic, and rather focus on making the world a better place for you and for me”.

They come to pray:

The Guardian: “ Promotional material made available today for the Michael Jackson documentary This Is It shows a composite of colourful images of the singer rehearsing for his comeback tour, superimposed on a full-size image of the star in a familiar pose. It includes the tagline: “Michael Jackson’s This Is It. Like you’ve never seen him before.”

Or, er, not seen him before because he’s not performing. But the poster does feature all his best bits, and features. But want to know who is appearing in the show?

The Sun: “Brown’s MJ tribute is a no-go

CHRIS BROWN will NOT be performing at the MICHAEL JACKSON tribute show in Austria later this month, according to his record label.

Times Of India: “Jermaine Jackson backtracks on Chris Brown”

He said: “It”s up to the judge if he gets let out of the country or not. I”m not worried at all. He wants to be here… He”s asked for forgiveness. If Christ can forgive him, so can we. People make mistakes, but he”s a wonderful performer.”

Says Jermaine Jackson spokesman for Jesus Christ on woman beater and bowtie wearer Chris Brown. Anyhow, who’s on the big post-Jackson bill?

Anorak

Posted: 10th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Beyonce Knowles Made Whiter For Russian Magazines

BEYONCE Knowles is black, white or somewhere in between. Press your keypads now!

The results are in and we discover that Beyonce is too black for readers of JOY magazine and not coffee-ish enough for readers of GLAMOUR.

For those in the know, Beyonce is a light russet.

Anorak

Posted: 10th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Jaycee Dugard’s Home Run To Oprah Winfrey

JAYCEE Lee Dugard – Anorak’s look at Jaycee Dugard in the news: Mark Whicker wrestles Jaycee; Oprah Winfrey really wants Jaycee and Phillip Garrido’s songs to watch the girls go by…

We begin with Mark Whicker’s column in the Orange Couty Register, as the writer enganges in game of Tabloid Bingo as he tries to link the rape and kidnapping of a child with his vested interest: sports.
his versted interst: sports:

It doesn’t sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page. Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year. She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn’t high-fived in a while. She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey. Now, that’s deprivation.

She also never ran. Discuss.

How difficult to adjust to such cataclysmic change? More than that, who’s going to explain the fact that there’s a President Obama?

Well…

Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard.

New York Post: “O wants Jaycee”

OPRAH Winfrey really wants the first interview with Jaycee Dugard, the now-29-year-old woman kidnapped and held captive for 18 years.

“I want that interview,” Winfrey told “The Insider.” “Like everyone else in this business I have my people working on that. It’s the first time I have ever called up my producers and said, ‘Are we on this story? Because I want that interview!’ “

Anorak

Posted: 10th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

England WAGs Caster Semenya Make Over, In Pictures

England WAGs Caster Semenya Make Over, In Pictures

UPDATE: Caster Semenya Has ‘Internal Testes’ And ‘No Womb’

IT was always going to take something huge to push war and Katie Price off the tabloids’ front page, and last night it happened: England qualified for the World Cup finals in South Africa.

Newspapers rejoice. Next summer will be a halcyon time when the news comes to you every day and after a period of 90 minutes plus injury time, full of key facts, exotic names and hate figures.

And there are the WAGS, who we will follow from the moment they pop a boiled sweet into mouths at 30,000ft, through the shops and into the stands to gossip on phones and ask each other what the score is. And watch out for Victoria Beckham’s Caster Semenya makeover.

Anorak

Posted: 10th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Madeleine McCann: Amaral’s Book Banned

GONCALO Amaral’s book on the Madeleine McCann case, The Truth Of The Lie, has been banned.

The McCanns’ Spokesman Clarence Mitchell said the couple were “absolutely delighted“.

A judge at Lisbon’s main civil court outlawed any further sales or publications of the book.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (90)

Graham Sankey And The Michael Shields Case

MICHAEL Shields was jailed for 15 years, reduced to 10 on appeal, for the attempted murder of Bulgarian, Martin Georgiev on May 30, 2005. Shields was wrongly found guilty of attacking Georgiev in the Black Sea resort of Golden Sands, Bulgaria, following Liverpool FC’s 2005 UEFA Champions League victory.

The victim, a waiter, was struck in the head by a paving slab. His skull was broken.

In 2006, Shields was returned to England to complete his sentence at Thorn Cross Young Offender Institution in Warrington. He has now been released. Justice Minister Jack Straw says Shields is “morally and technically innocent”.

We know this because a) Mr Shields innocent and b) Liverpudlian Graham Sankey once admitted to the crime, although why he did this became unclear.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)

Ryan O’Neal’s Threats To Kill Craig Nevius Over Farrah Fawcett Cancer Show

FARRAH Fawcett’s lover Greg Lott seeks to set the record straight by telling of his secret romance with Our Lady of the burnt orange swimsuit, and now another close male companion, Greg Nevius, sets out to get his own share of headlines.

Anorak’s Man in LA takes a look:

Craig Nevius is suing Ryan O’Neal, Alana Stewart and O’Neal’s business manager for pushing him aside from the cancer journal documentary he and Farrah were producing for NBC. Although “Farrah’s Story” received many harsh, disgusted reviews for its maudlin morbidity, it is up for an Emmy– as are Farrah and Nevius, who kept his executive producer title.

As the case winds its way to court, Nevius tells his side of the story and much more to Chris Mann on Retroality.tv.

The extensive two-part interview ((here and here) contains many insights into Farrah as well as exclusive information about the career plans left unfulfilled, though more interest will likely be placed on Nevius’ claim that Ryan O’Neal threatened to kill him.

A taste:

You must feel thrilled (being nominated for an Emmy. Aren’t you?

Anorak

Posted: 9th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Angelina Jolie’s Lost Sex Diaries, Brad Pitt’s Contents Revealed

ANGELINA Jolie’s “LOST DIARIES” have been found. And the National Enquirer has the news on what Ange wrote about “BRAD, JEN & HER KINKY SEX LIFE”.

Once inside the magazine, we realise that the diaries have not been found by the Enquirer. But not to worry because the word “diary” enables the Enquirer to make a good guess at what these diaries contain.

They contain “intimate details about her sex life and revels her innermost feelings about partner Brad Pitt”.

They contain “dates” in chronological orders, notes on “public holidays” and very possibly a table that converts decimal measurements into metric and then lists all the capitals of ALL the nations, including Shiloh’s native NAMIBIA!

Anorak

Posted: 8th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (2)

Jaycee Dugard Married Phillip Garrido, Best-Friend Tells All

JAYCEE Dugard: The National Enquirer has “THE REAL REASON KIDNAPPED JAYCEE DIDN’T RUN”.

Want to know why Jaycee Dugard didn’t run for Phillip and Nancy Garrido?

First up, we learn that Jaycee married Phillip Garrido in his garden paedo paradise. And she didn’t run because Garrido “brainwashed” Jaycee into believing that God wanted them to be together. And if she escaped then everyone would die.

How does the Enquirer know this? Well a “source” tells us. And the source has more:

“Garrido brought a tape player into the shed and began to play a tape of him singing one of his own songs. Apparently, in his deranged mind, he thought it would create a romantic setting. He forced Jaycee down onto a filthy mattress, telling her, ‘This is what God wants us to do.’”

Later she came to “love him”, so we learn. And she gave birth in the same shed, “sound-proofed to cover her screams”. And that Nancy Garrido was also “brainwashed” by Phil.

All facts, as Jaycee’s stepfather Carl Probyn, who actually lives with Jaycee, tells us:

“I don’t know if she was brainwashed, I don’t know if she was walking around on the street, I don’t know if she was locked under key for 18 years.”

Anorak

Posted: 8th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (3)

Seeking Madeleine McCann In Jaycee Dugard’s Horror Story

MADELEINE McCann Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Madeleine McCann in the news: With Jaycee Dugard, Phillip Garrido and the detectives in Portugal…

THE Daily Express tells us that the McCanns’ detectives are in Portugal. With facts:

Detectives looking for have returned to Portugal to pursue new leads which could provide a breakthrough in the case.

They could. But what of these new leads?

Ex-policemen Arthur Cowley and Dave Edgar spent several days speaking to “persons of interest” to the inquiry.

Like who? Raymond Hewlett? Victoria Beckham? Or someone new?

“The investigation has real momentum with definite goals. A vast amount of work has already been done and every new lead is being checked,” a source said.

“Definite goals?” Surely there is only one goal – to find Madeleine McCann.

Maybe the detectives should be in California, speaking to Phillip Garrido? Once again, the Jaycee Dugard case is being linked to Our Maddie:

Irish Times: What do they need to know?

PARENTING: RECENT MEDIA coverage of abducted children has prompted debate among both children’s groups and parents about the most appropriate ways to speak to children on the dangers of abduction and inappropriate contact from adults, writes BRIAN O’CONNELL.

Is talking about kidnapping and paedos a form of child abuse? Hey, kids, still got those balloons?

Both the Madeleine McCann case and, in recent weeks, that of Jaycee Dugard, who was found alive 18 years after being abducted from her home, have raised parents’ sensitivities in this area.

It’s every parents’ worst nightmare – and every media’s fallback story.

Now for the experts’ advice:

* Never leave children unsupervised. If you have to pop out to the shop even for five minutes, ask a neighbour to keep a watchful eye…

• Be mindful that the majority of abduction cases involve someone familiar to the person abducted.

Now, read on….

Anorak

Posted: 8th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (7)

Jaycee Dugard Teaches English Class, And Tourists Invade Garrido Home

JAYCEE Lee Dugard – Anorak’s look at Jaycee Dugard in the news: Jaycee Dugard teaches English class,  tourists invade Phillip Garrido’s home and the Jaycee-Garrido love story…

Jaycee Dugard illustrates the importance of good grammar, and the hardship of bearing children:

FOX: “Officers near Antioch are having a hard time keeping people off Phillip Garrido’s Property.”

Since Garrido and his wife were arrested for Jaycee Lee Dugard’s kidnapping, the Contra Costa County Sheriff’s Department has been called to their home at least three times for reports of trespassing.

Anorak

Posted: 8th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

All The Worst Bits From The Peter Andre And Katie Price Divorce

KATIE Price And Peter Andre are suing each other for divorce. It’s the end of the anti-romance Anorak dubbed Tit 4 Tat.

Katie and Peter are looking for a decree nisi, from a marriage that is irretrievably broken down. Price K v Andrea PJ is big news. The newspapers look on:

Daily Mirror: “KATIE AND PETER DIVORCE TODAY”

“They agree on trouble free split!”

Hurrah! No more mud slinging form Dignified Pete and Katie The Bad. And having told us that front-page fact, the Mirror’s 3am Girls reveal:

“Peter Andre and Katie Price to divorce – with acrimony”

Perhaps the Girls read the Sun?

Last night a family lawyer said: “It’s quite sad really and nothing more than a petty snipe from Ms Price. It’s her way of saying, ‘I am not allowing you to divorce me – instead I am going to divorce you.’ It’s just a way of sticking your fingers up at your ex through legal process. It’s about emotion – nothing else.”

How very typical of Katie Price. Tsk! As Sky news tells us, it was Peter who said:

The 36-year-old declared “enough is enough” after a string of tit-for-tat headlines which have dominated the tabloids since the couple parted in May.

Daily Star: “Yesterday furious Peter hit back at his wife’s ‘lies, lies, lies’.”

He says he’s been driven to the brink by her continual bizarre allegations about their relationship.

But what of the other facts?

Daily Star: “KATIE AND PETER DIVORCE TODAY”.

This is an “EXCLUSIVE”

The Sun: “JORDAN DIVORCE TODAY”

And this too is an “EXCLUSIVE”

And there is shocking news from the Tabloid Telegraph:

Price, 30, a former glamour model turned author and reality TV star, appears under the name Katie Price in her petition against 36-year-old singer Andre.

That’s 31-year-old Katie Price to all the other papers. It looks like the Tabloidgraph has its own exclusive.

And the facts keep on coming. About that counter-suing?

Daily Express: “Such cases only occur in about one out of every 400 divorces.”

Daily Star: “A court insider revealed: ‘They are both applying for divorce, which only happens in about one in every 300 cases. It doesn’t bode well for a quiet and friendly outcome.”

Such are the facts…

Peter And Katie In Pictures

Anorak

Posted: 8th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Adolf Hitler Had AIDs

AIDS has a human face. And it belongs to Adolf Hitter, who not only gets to shag non-Aryan women Blondi-style, and put paid to those myths about his homosexuality but give them AIDs.

No condom for Hitler’s new Joy Division as it finds a new way to murder Rebecca -Roma-Ivana-Cohen with biological weapons

Anorak

Posted: 7th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

Jaycee Lee Dugard: Phillip Garrido Helped FBI

JAYCEE Lee Dugard – Anorak’s look at Jaycee Dugard in the news: Experts baffled, Phillip Garrido cures and helps the FBI, and Lorraine Kelly entertains with missing kids…

First up, police who failed to spot the link between a convicted paedophile rapist with children in his garden and missing children, are now linking Phillip Garrido to pretty much every unsolved case in the last three decades:

CBS News: “Cop Seek Link Between Garrido and School Bus Murders”

Police in northern Nevada are scouring old records of major unsolved cases to determine if any match the profile of Phillip Garrido… one of the cold cases under review involves the murders of two children who also vanished near their school bus stop in Reno in 1989 — Jennifer and Charles Chia. That was a year after Garrido was paroled.

Or as the NY Post puts it: “Monster eyed in kid slays”

“Creepy Phil” Garrido and…

“There might not be any link between the cases and him, but we’d be crazy not to look at the possibility,” said Reno police Lt. Mike Whan.

Like “crazy Phil“. And creepy, too.

Anyhow CBS has spoken to more experts and they tell us:

But the road ahead for Jaycee and her daughters will likely be long. Rehabilitation in these types of cases is not easy, say experts.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Jack Tweed ‘Sex Attack’ Caught On Camera, Jade Goody Returns

HAPPY days at the Jack Tweed Fan Club where their man is no longer Mr Jade Goody. Thanks to an alleged rape Jack Tweed is becoming his own celebrity, as the Daily Star screams from its front page:

“JACK ‘RAPE’ CAUGHT ON FILM”

No mention of Jade. Indeed, Jack Tweed is now so famous that he is simply “JACK”. The news does come equipped with a picture of Jade Goody, aka Mrs Jack Tweed, but the impetus is with Jack.

Anorak had long wondered how the Jade Goody brand would be kept alive? There was talk of Joe Malone embalming fluids and a Big Brother special. But it was all a bit thin. But now thanks to Jack we can look forward a sex tape. Or not:

Jack Tweed’s alleged rape attack could have been caught on a mobile phone camera.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)