Key Posts Category
Police tasers make everyone more violent
If you carry a weapon are you more or less likely to use it? Silly question, right? A new study tells us carrying Tasers increases police use of force. Cambridge University looked at use the use of Tasers by the City of London police. It found that “the presence of electroshock devices led to greater overall hostility in police-public interactions”. It’s the “weapons effect”. What of a police truncheon, then – although they now prefer the Casco baton constructed of carbon steel coated with a black chrome finish? Is the threat of being electrocuted greater than that of being beaten?
Last October, an investigation ruled that a police officer who Tasered a man shortly before his death should not have held the trigger for such a long time. The man died of cardiac arrest. The Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC) found that the officer extended the use of a Taser longer than the automatic five seconds.
The study:
A new study has found that London police officers visibly armed with electroshock ‘Taser’ weapons used force 48% more often, and were more likely to be assaulted, than those on unarmed shifts.
However, while use of force can include everything from restraint and handcuffing to CS spray, the Tasers themselves were only fired twice during the year-long study period.
“We found that officers are more likely to be assaulted when carrying electroshock weaponry, and more likely to apply force,” said lead researcher Dr Barak Ariel from Cambridge’s Institute of Criminology. “It is well established that the visual cue of a weapon can stimulate aggression. While our research does not pierce the ‘black box’ of decision-making, the only difference between our two study conditions was the presence of a Taser device. There was no increase in injury of suspects or complaints, suggesting it was not the police instigating hostilities. The presence of Tasers appears to provoke a pattern where suspects become more aggressive toward officers, who in turn respond more forcefully.”
Adding: “If the presence of weapons can lead to aggression by suspects, so its concealment should be able to reduce aggression and increase officer safety.”
What if the police officer is aggressive? A Taser can be a hands off way of assaulting the target – and less potentially fatal than shooting them. This video is from the USA shows what happens when you’re a 72-year-old woman who allegedly sped thought a construction zone:
The BBC tells us:
Black people are three times more likely than white people to be involved in Taser incidents, government figures suggest.
Electric stun guns were drawn, aimed or fired 38,000 times in England and Wales over a period of five years.
In more than 12% of cases Tasers were used against black people, who make up about 4% of the population, Home Office figures suggested…
Don’t be black, young and thin:
…the body which represents senior police officers admits there is “an increased risk of cardiac arrhythmia and barb penetration in children and thin adults”.
But you can hit people with a baton and leave no bruise – allegedly.
Spotter: University of Cambridge
Let’s make 2019 the year ridicule trumps being offended by rubbish
Naomi Firsht wants 2019 to be the year we stop being so easily offended. I’d argue that the feeling offended is bad enough but it’s more than that: it’s the whining and shrill extempore demands for validation that irk and demean us; the pursuit of victimhood and to be defined by it; the summoning of police and other instruments of State control to salve your ego and crush your opponent, or to use Twitter parlance “destroy” the other side; the confusion between free speech and plain rudeness; the willingness by police to portray themselves as therapists and come running, seeking out muons of criminal intent in the dust of the offence industry; and the narcissism that backs it all. If you want the State to intervene in everyday discussion, to tell you what you can and cannot see, to protect you from ideas other than those which give you a sense of unchangeable foundation in the complex, hypocritical and contrarian world of human relations, then you need to get a grip.
Firsht wants us to wise up:
The war on sexism was also behind a particularly mad policy that came out of the Scottish parliament before Christmas. Gingerbread men in the Holyrood café have undergone something of a transition and are now known as gingerbread persons, thus putting an end to the gendered biscuit tyranny. Our suffragette sisters would be proud…
Make no mistake, 2018 was a bumper year for invented problems and manufactured outrage. The year began with millennials moaning about how “problematic” the anodyne 90s sitcom Friends was, after Netflix added it to its library: apparently it was too white and had undertones of homophobia, transphobia and fat-shaming…
When did we become a nation of humourless, offence-taking whingers, eager to waste our time on this rubbish? My one wish for 2019 is that as a nation we rediscover the stiff upper lip and stop prioritising a few hurt feelings over common sense. This year, let’s call out superficial nonsense for what it is.
Well said. Let’s make 2019 the year we don’t take offence at nonsense – The Times.
Top-Ho, Jeeves: Happy Public Domain Day 2019 – what you can use for free
It’s Public Domain Day, the moment when lots of old works become free to use. It’s a biggie this year because for 20 years nothing new has been released. In 1998 Disney and other copyright holders got the State to impose copyright restrictions for an additional 20 years. The 1998 Copyright Term Extension Act is a horror. Works from 1922, including James Joyce’s Ulysses, turned copyright free in 1998 but anything published the following year was protected. But from today music, book, posters, art, films and plays published in 1923 will be free of intellectual property restrictions. Dig in. Go create.
Jennifer Jenkins, director of the Duke Law School’s Center for the Study of the Public Domain, explains:
But now the drought is over. How will people celebrate this trove of cultural material? Google Books will offer the full text of books from that year, instead of showing only snippet views or authorized previews. The Internet Archive will add books, movies, music, and more to its online library. HathiTrust has made over 50,000 titles from 1923 available in its digital library. Community theaters are planning screenings of the films. Students will be free to adapt and publicly perform the music. Because these works are in the public domain, anyone can make them available, where you can rediscover and enjoy them. (Empirical studies have shown that public domain books are less expensive, available in more editions and formats, and more likely to be in print—see here, here, and here.) In addition, the expiration of copyright means that you’re free to use these materials, for education, for research, or for creative endeavors—whether it’s translating the books, making your own versions of the films, or building new music based on old classics.
Here are some samples from the American Public Domain Day List, as compiled by Jennifer Jenkins and Jamie Boyle at the Duke Center for the Public Domain.
Films
* The Hunchback of Notre Dame starring Lon Chaney
* Short films featuring Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy and Our Gang
* Animated films including Felix the Cat and Koko the Clown
* Safety Last!, directed by Fred C. Newmeyer and Sam Taylor, featuring Harold Lloyd
* The Ten Commandments, directed by Cecil B. DeMille
* The Pilgrim, directed by Charlie Chaplin
* Our Hospitality, directed by Buster Keaton and John G. Blystone
* The Covered Wagon, directed by James Cruze
* Scaramouche, directed by Rex Ingram
Books
* Joseph Conrad, The Rover
* Robert Frost’s poem “Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening”
* Nikolay Gogol, Dead Souls
* Rudyard Kipling, Land and Sea Tales for Boys and Girls
* Edgar Rice Burroughs, Tarzan and the Golden Lion
* Agatha Christie, The Murder on the Links
* Winston S. Churchill, The World Crisis
* e.e. cummings, Tulips and Chimneys
* Robert Frost, New Hampshire
* Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
* Aldous Huxley, Antic Hay
* D.H. Lawrence, Kangaroo
* Bertrand and Dora Russell, The Prospects of Industrial Civilization
* Carl Sandberg, Rootabaga Pigeons
* Edith Wharton, A Son at the Front
* P.G. Wodehouse, works including The Inimitable Jeeves and Leave it to Psmith
* Viginia Woolf, Jacob’s Room
Music
* Yes! We Have No Bananas, w.&m. Frank Silver & Irving Cohn
* Charleston, w.&m. Cecil Mack & James P. Johnson
* London Calling! (musical), by Noel Coward
* Who’s Sorry Now, w. Bert Kalmar & Harry Ruby, m. Ted Snyder
* Songs by “Jelly Roll” Morton including Grandpa’s Spells, The Pearls, and Wolverine Blues (w. Benjamin F. Spikes & John C. Spikes; m. Ferd “Jelly Roll” Morton)
* Works by Bela Bartok including the Violin Sonata No. 1 and the Violin Sonata No. 2
* Tin Roof Blues, m. Leon Roppolo, Paul Mares, George Brunies, Mel Stitzel, & Benny Pollack (There were also compositions from 1923 by other well-known artists including Louis Armstrong, Irving Berlin, George Gershwin, WC Handy, Oscar Hammerstein, Gustav Holst, Al Jolson, Jerome Kern, and John Phillip Sousa; though their most famous works were from other years.)
Spotter: Aleteia , Boing Boing
Posted: 1st, January 2019 | In: Film, Key Posts, Music, News | Comment
Manchester Knife Attack: Allah implicated in ‘terror’ stabbing
Terror in Manchester as three people are stabbed. Well, so they say. So little is said about the murder of 23 people at an Ariana Grande concert in the city back in 2017 that you suspect the news media will downplay notions of militant Islamism in this latest attack.
So what happened?
Police are investigating the stabbing of three people at Manchester Victoria station last night. They, says the Times, are treating the attack as terror-related. There’s no mention of what motives the alleged terrorist held or was attempting to promote. Maybe he’s a militant vegetarian?
The Guardian says it might be terror related but doesn’t speculate on cause. “Manchester police scour Victoria station after triple stabbing,” says the paper. “Counter-terror police involved in investigation of New Year’s Eve attack on three people.”
Or as the Sun puts it: “TERROR RAMPAGE Terror cops raid suspect’s home after knifeman screaming ‘long live the Caliphate’ stabs cop and couple in New Year’s Eve rampage.”
A 25-year-old man from Cheetham Hill, north Manchester, has been arrested. The BBC tells us:
Resident Nousha Babaakachel, 40, said a Somali family live at the address, a mother and father of five, in their 40s, who came to live in the street around 12 years ago from the Netherlands.
She said two of the four sons are at university, one works at Manchester Airport and the youngest is back in Somalia. They also have a daughter.
Both parents attend the local Khiza Mosque.
The BBC mentions a mosque but does not mention Islam. One without the other is bit like saying the alleged knifer subscribes to Netflix and shops at Asda. It’s a big ‘so what?’ But it’s enough for the Sun to copy and paste the BBC’s lines and pass them off as their own:
The BBC and the Sun agree – word for word. The Sun’s URL makes it clear what the alleged knifer said is important but no-one says he cried “Allahu Akbar”, just “Allah”.
A witness claims the suspect shouted “Allah” during his attack with a long kitchen knife. The Sun editorialises this into an “Allahu Akbar” in the URL to its story (see above). Why not just stick to the facts?
The witness is Sam Clack, a BBC producer. “It was pretty scary. It was just me on the platform and as I was standing there I heard the most blood-curdling scream I had ever heard from a woman near by. It looked like there was a fight going on. I heard the guy shout ‘Allah’ distinctly. I didn’t hear the rest of the sentence…The guy started backing up towards me. And he got to within seven or eight feet of me and was looking around very skittish. I saw that the man had a kitchen knife with a long 12in blade.”
Mr Clack said that he heard the attacker say: “As long as you keep bombing other countries this sort of shit is going to keep happening.” Which countries? The BBC says he was shouting about god being great in Arabic as he was hauled away.
But don’t worry. Manchester’s Assistant Chief Constable Rob Potts tells us: “Tonight’s events will have undoubtedly worried people but I need to stress that… there is currently no intelligence to suggest that there is any wider threat at this time.” At this time. Mr Clack is less certain, adding: “It was scary. I have never been so scared in my life. Someone with a knife six to eight feet away, he had just stabbed someone. It was the proximity. It just highlights the fact that it can happen anywhere.”
Before the horror, a look at the coppers who help us. Assistant Chief Constable Sean O’Callaghan, of British Transport Police, tells media: “I am incredibly proud of the four officers who were immediately on scene last night, detaining a man who was wielding a knife. They were fearless, running towards danger and preventing further harm coming to passengers. Unfortunately however, one of our police officers suffered a stab injury to their shoulder and we’re all relieved that this is not more serious. It is good news that he has now been discharged from hospital, we are all wishing him a speedy recovery.”
Sure thing. But what of the alleged attacker and his motives? More to come…
Arsenal balls: the Aaron Ramsey myth
Like cocktails, ITV dramas and Disney World, Aaron Ramsey gets a lot of hype but delivers little. The Mirror hails Ramsey as “one of Europe’s top goal-scoring midfielders”. Utter tosh. Last season Ramsey scored 7 Premier League goals – the same number as: Abdoulaye Doucoure (Watford), Pascal Groß (Brighton) and Marcos Alonso (Chelsea). In season 2016-17, Ramsey scored one Premier League goal. In 2015-16 he scored 5; in 2014-15 he got 6; and in 2013-14 he scored 10. Is he one of the continent’s best goal-scoring midfielders? He was good and full of promise. But now he scores not all that often.
In today’s match, Ramsey came off the bench to score against Fulham – the side he scored his only other goal of the current season against. The Welshman converted a loose ball on the box after the dangerous Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang hit the post. A rare goal, then. (The strike puts Ramsey on 2 goals for the season – the same as: Nathan Aké (Bournemouth), Marc Albrighton (Leicester City) and 35 others PL players.)
But not to BBC pundit Paul Parker. The ex-Fulham and Manchester United defender tells BBC Radio London listeners: “The fans were not happy when he came on but Aaron Ramsey does what he does best, scoring goals and he gets one coming off the bench.”
If scoring is what Ramsey does best, what does he do the rest of the time when he’s not not scoring?
Posted: 1st, January 2019 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Sports | Comment
David Dimbleby and why the Posh live in a meritocracy
Are you posh? I’m asking for David Dimbleby, the hereditary BBC journalist, former Bullingdon Club member, pal to Prince Charles and whose son attended Eton College. His fellow BBC lifer John Humphrys asked Dimbers if he was a posho. Dimbleby thought the question not rhetorical and replied: “I come from Wales, as you do.” So he is Posh, then, at least as privileged as his nation’s prince. Of course, what Dimbleby’s doing is denying his poshness. The old sod pitches himself as an outsider, a man of the valleys and so very unlike those entitled and titled toffs in Berkshire (Thatcham) and London (Newham).
Kenan Malik cites Dimbleby’s egotism – that stated belief in success founded on merit rather than dumb luck and membership of an elite tribe – in his article on the rise of meritocracy and those who can afford to live in one. Dimbleby is the product of talent and hard work. His rank played no role. Now read on:
So entrenched as a social aspiration has meritocracy become that we often forget that the term was coined in mockery. In his 1958 satire, The Rise of Meritocracy, the sociologist Michael Young told of a society in which classes were sorted not by the hereditary principle but by the formula IQ + Effort = Merit.
In this new society, “the eminent know that success is a just reward for their own capacity”, while the lower orders deserve their fate. Having been tested again and again and “labelled ‘dunce’ repeatedly”, they have no choice but “to recognise that they have an inferior status”.
Young’s dystopian meritocracy doesn’t (yet) exist, but we have something perhaps worse: the pretence of a meritocracy. The pretence that talent will achieve its just rewards in a society in which class distinctions continue to shape educational outcomes, job prospects, income and health.
Malik argues that rank is now based on education. Is admission to top colleges a meritocratic process? It’s competitive. How do you get the edge? How do you know where the edge exists if you’ve no access to it?
Today, we simultaneously deride poshness and want to be seen as having the common touch (hence Dimbleby’s outrage at being called posh), while also showing contempt for those who are deemed too common and whose commonness exhibits itself in the refusal to accept the wisdom of expertise and in being in possession of the wrong social values.
Trump supporters, wrote David Rothkopf, professor of international relations, former CEO of Foreign Policy magazine and a member of Bill Clinton’s administration, are people “threatened by what they don’t understand and what they don’t understand is almost everything”. They regard knowledge as “not a useful tool but a cunning barrier elites have created to keep power from the average man and woman”. Much the same has been said about Brexit supporters…
Too true, of course. Tory MP Michael Gove says a second Brexit referendum would tell voters that they’re “too thick” to decide on issues. Labour MP Mr Sheerman, opined: “The truth is that when you look at who voted to Remain, most of them were the better educated people in our country.”
Matt O’Brien finds evidence that “poor kids who do everything right don’t do much better than rich kids who do everything wrong”:
You can see that in the above chart, based on a new paper from Richard Reeves and Isabel Sawhill, presented at the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston’s annual conference, which is underway. Specifically, rich high school dropouts remain in the top about as much as poor college grads stay stuck in the bottom — 14 versus 16 percent, respectively. Not only that, but these low-income strivers are just as likely to end up in the bottom as these wealthy ne’er-do-wells. Some meritocracy.
What’s going on?
Well, it’s all about glass floors and glass ceilings. Rich kids who can go work for the family business — and, in Canada at least, 70 percent of the sons of the top 1 percent do just that — or inherit the family estate don’t need a high school diploma to get ahead. It’s an extreme example of what economists call “opportunity hoarding.” That includes everything from legacy college admissions to unpaid internships that let affluent parents rig the game a little more in their children’s favor.
David Dimbleby’s dad worked at the BBC, where he hosted the long-running current affairs programme Panorama. David succeeded his father as presenter of Panorama in 1974. Maybe knowledge and know how is inherited, like cash and connections?
Posted: 30th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, Money, News, Politicians | Comment
London cinema shows Holocaust film for babies
No parents came leaving less independent babies disappointed
To Kilburn’s Kiln arts centre in London’s Brent, where the “parent and baby” film screening of holocaust documentary Back to Berlin has attracted one punter – and she’s not allowed to watch on account of her being unaccompanied by a baby. All viewers must be carrying a babe in arms or entry will be denied.
And babies should love the story of eleven modern day motor bikers on a mission to carry the Maccabiah torch from Tel Aviv to Berlin. As the synopsis informs next-year’s kindergarten intake: “Each destination on the way to Berlin holds a chilling resonance for the riders as they discover and share how their families perished, or managed to survive. They find themselves heavily protected by police in 21st century Europe where anti-Semitism once again rears its ugly head particularly in countries like Greece, Hungary and Poland. En route to Berlin, the bikers meet much diminished Jewish communities clinging on to plaques and memorials as symbols of a time gone by, and once again fearful.”
Patrizia Diemling fancied watching the film. But the 68-year-old was vorboten. She tells her local paper: “Staff told me nobody is allowed to come to the screening unless they have a babe in arms. They said I would make them [parents] feel uncomfortable.” Women und children zis vay! The elderly must go to zer exit.
A Kiln Theatre spokesperson goes on the record: “The parent and baby screenings are something we are trialling – our first was this Monday and they have been programmed in response to requests from parents within the local community.” Babies hackling their mums’ accounts, we’d wager.
Meghan Markle’s risky sister Samantha prepares to tell nothing in a new book
Samantha Markle not embarrassed by family links to Prince Andrew
No-one sane cares if Princess Meghan is black or mixed-race. What we appreciate far more than skin tones is a family rift and gossip. Meghan’s half-sister Samantha Markle has been making extempore efforts at reconciliation. She promises much but can she deliver?
She’s putting in the hard yards. Samantha has issued a Christmas message of peace. She rocked up at Kensington Palace uninvited and unwelcome. Reportedly, this has earned her a spot on the Palace’s “fixated persons list”. Compiled by the police royalty and specialist protection unit, the list reportedly flags Samantha as someone capable of causing “reputational risk” to the royal family. What, riskier than Prince Andrew and his dalliances with known paedophiles and Prince Charles’ dreams of being his mistress’s tampon?
Samantha, 53, is rumoured to be working on a book – working title: In the Shadows of the Duchess; previously: The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister. Here’s hoping for a story to make Sarah Ferguson’s Budgie the Helicopter blush.
Scotland Yard’s Fixated Threat Assessment Centre (FTAC) defines fixated people as “those who have an obsessional preoccupation (often delusional) with a person or a perceived grievance, which they pursue to an irrational degree”.
A Scotland Yard source tells the Sunday Times: “You can’t protect someone like the Duchess of Sussex without knowing the background of her family. But someone like Samantha presents a risk rather than a threat. She is not committing criminal offences, but she is causing concerns for the royal family.”
Says Samantha Markle: “I would only say that is ludicrous. I’m not a reputational risk.” Of course, it depends what your reputation is?
Prince Andrew is away.
Posted: 30th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Royal Family | Comment
Ruth Strauss: donate and help to cure cancer
Thoughts are with Ruth Strauss, who has died. Married to former England captain and director of cricket Andrew Strauss since 2003, Ruth was just 46 when she succumbed to lung cancer. She was diagnosed last December. Ruth leaves behind a loving husband and sons Sam, 13, and Luca, 10. They’re old enough to remember her. It’s not much. But you grab hold of what you can get. And you try not to let it go, or at least keep a whiff of life’s substance beneath your fingernails. What else gets you through the injections and organ galvanising drugs but a desire for a legacy? Faith. Yes. If you’re lucky enough to believe. There’s the excuse for a huge fry up, of course, and the hope that the pillock talking of it being a “battle” to experience something less sympathy inducing and commercialised, like erupting piles and towering genital warts.
“It is with great sadness and immense grief that we have to announce that Ruth passed away today as a result of her rare lung cancer,” says Andrew Strauss in a statement. “Sam, Luca and I will miss her terribly. Anyone who has met Ruth will know how loving, caring and passionately protective she was of her family and it gives us huge comfort that she was in Australia, the land of her birth, surrounded by those who love her, in her final moments. We would like to send our heartfelt thanks to those that have helped with her treatment over the last 12 months, in particular the wonderful team at University College Hospital in London. Ruth desperately wanted to help those affected by this terrible disease and we will be launching a foundation in due course to raise much needed funds to aid research and also to offer support to patients and their families.”
I know UCLH well. Too well, perhaps. The Macmillan Centre is wonderful. But it can only do so much. I saw Ruth there. She was warm, vivacious and charming. If you want to help, please donate here. It matters. Your money really matters. The people who set up foundations want it to.
Clickbait horror: how to SEO the Strasbourg massacre
Solid clickbait work by the Daily Express which managed to make an SEO-friendly tourism guide to Strasbourg in the wake of a murderous attack on a Christmas market in the French city. The suspect, one Cherif Chekatt, is helping police with their enquiries. Let’s hope the coppers have better luck establishing facts than the Press, parts of which can’t even wok out what country Chekatt’s from.
As the papers debate his roots, the Express produces a handy article entitled “Strasbourg shooting : where is Strasbourg”. This is a clickbait trick de rigueur among newspaper websites. The drones spot a tending story and then dice it up into its elements – ‘Man bites dog : what is a man?’ / … what is a dog? / …what do we mean by bites? / …do dogs bite?’
So a nutter murdering five people near a Christmas market in Strasbourg becomes a chance to rank for the trending word. As people are mourning loved ones, the Express tells readers and the more important Google bots: “Strasbourg is a city in the capital of the Grand Est region, which was previously known as Alsace, in northeastern France. The city is also the formal seat of the European Parliament and sits near the German border.”
What is a barrel – and how do you scrape it?
Posted: 29th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
‘A physician’s letter to his wife’ – the most condescending letter ever written?
In “A physician’s letter to his wife” the self-styled “The Physician Philosopher” – an “anesthesiologist who blogs at his self-titled site, The Physician Philosopher” – writes an open letter to his wife. It looks like an online public display of affection, which, to my mind, are often precursors to divorce. You know, those irritating Facebook posts between husband and wife played out because a private conversation is too intimate for such kismet-kissed souls. He calls her “gorgeous”, “talented” and, in an egomaniacal bid at self-deprecation, “long suffering”. She laughs at his jokes. Narcissism rules.
And so to “The Physician Philosopher” who schools his wife what to do should he die before her. She should not punch the air, whoop, use bunting nor should she exclaim, “I pity anyone in the hereafter listening to that bore’s preachy horse shit”. He begins, as he must, at the beginning:
Let’s just start at the beginning.
If you’ve made it past that without rolling your eyes into your skull, read on…
When we first met, you thought I was arrogant and prideful. For two and a half years we would rarely talk while we walked past each other in our small college town. At the time, we never could have imagined that one day we would get married. In a twist of irony, two weeks before we started dating you still didn’t know as you told one of your best friends, “I could never date a guy like him. He is too sure of himself.”
Then something changed.
You wanted to talk late one night outside of your dorm. We even got yelled at for talking too late into the night. We first became friends, then we became best friends, and then you become the love of my life. Ten years of marriage and three kids later, you still have my heart and always will.
You made me a better me.
You are the most caring, compassionate, and forgiving person that I’ve ever met. I guess God knew that you’d need those qualities in order to be married to me – particularly that forgiveness part. When you make as many mistakes as I do, a lot of forgiveness is required.
I tell everyone every day that you are a better person than me, and I’ll continue to say that to the grave. But if I should make it to the grave prematurely, I want you to have this letter to guide you on exactly what you should do for our family.
And now it gets fist-bitingly awful:
Financial plan
When I die, you’re going to realize that you are immediately financially independent. If not, reading this will teach that to you.
Do one!
With the money, you’ll be able to pay off all of our debts and have more than enough to last as long as you and the kids live. That said, you are likely to have no idea what to do with it given that you’ve always trusted me with the big picture of our finances. (We need more money dates, apparently).
So, I’m going to walk you through exactly what you should do with it.
Furs. Diamonds. Unsuitable Men?
Cash in my life insurance
You need to get my term life insurance policy. It’s in the folder in my desk.
Call the insurance company up and tell them the bad news. And then call my workplace and do the same thing (I have a life insurance policy at work, too). Tell them you’d like to collect the full sum of money. I’ve done the math and this amount of money should allow you to do whatever you want to do with your life.
After you realize your awesome financial situation, make sure to change all the beneficiaries on your estate planning documents to the kids. I won’t need to be your beneficiary anymore for obvious reasons.
You still there? He hasn’t finished.
Cash in my life insurance
After you get the money in hand, you will be able to pay off all of our debt with ease, including our house. Hopefully, we’ve done well enough by the time that you need this that the mortgage is all that is left.
It’s worth saying twice: pay off the debt before you do anything else.
It will make life easier for you and the kids. Also, consider fully funding our kids college education by putting $100,000 into each kid’s 529 plan and letting it grow until they need it.
Nicole Cliff interjects: “If Steve left me a letter this condescending in his effects I would liquidate every single account and give all of it to lesbians. Just random lesbians. Then I would eat my children.”
You have to do some math
I know that you don’t like math, but you’ll have to do some.
I’m rich! I’ll hire a mathematician. Then shag him to deathbed on the solid gold sun lounger I bought.
After paying off all of our debt, you’ll have a certain amount of money left. If you multiply that number by 3% (Total money x 0.03), that is the amount of money that you can spend annually and rest assured it’ll last as long as you need it.
It should be a lot more than you need.
If you decide to keep working, because I know you – and that’s what you’ll likely do – just subtract your annual income from that number above and draw less out of the account. It’ll give you an even better chance that it’ll last long enough and you can give what is left to the kids someday.
Tom Jamieson interjects: “Teach the children how to make that lovely tea you insisted I drink every night before bed. The one that tasted faintly of burnt almonds my dearest, as each day I grew weaker and weaker until near the end, you had to hold the cup to my lips in your kind sweet uncomplicated way.”
You have to do some math
Take $100,000 of the money and put it into a Money Market Account for an emergency fund. This should cover any unexpected expenses that arise. Also, feel free to give me the cheapest funeral possible. No one will be looking at my casket when it’s underground ten years after I die. A wooden box will be just fine.
Put all of the rest of the money into a taxable account at Vanguard. Put 50% into the total stock market index fund (VTSAX), 25% into the total international stock market index fund (VTIAX), and 25% of the money into the tax-exempt bond index fund (VTEAX).
Take any money I have in my work retirement plans and simply roll it over into an IRA at Vanguard. Since the money in this account will hopefully be dwarfed by the money from my death that you’ve placed into a taxable account, you can put 100% of this money into the Vanguard Total Bond Market Index Fund (VBMFX).
If you need help, call Vanguard. They are great. If you still need help, call a fee-only financial advisor who operates as a fiduciary for a flat-fee.
Tom Jamieson has a word: “look after our children. You’ll find them in the smaller rooms adjacent to our master bedroom, They are called children’s bedrooms and that is where they sleep.”
Speaking of help
Ask our lawyer friend at church to help you make a trust for the kids and plan for our estate. Your money will likely grow while you are taking it out at 3%, and so you want to make sure that the kids won’t get hammered by massive estate taxes.
If you need help with the financial stuff, feel free to look at my recommended financial advisors list (coming soon!). I’ve vetted them myself. Or, I am sure, that many of my financial advisor friends will reach out to you to offer help.
Jennifer Van Goethem interjects: “So, looks like the lesson here is trust your first impressions.”
Speaking of help
You know one of my favorite things to do is to give to other people. And I know you’ll do the same. But it would make my heart happy if you found some people who really needed help and gave them a leg up in life.
Oh, and pay for the medical school to support someone who will start a curriculum to teach the students about money. It’s important stuff, and it just may save them from burnout so that they can save you and our kids someday.
Verity Reynolds interjects: “There are three children. That is more than two and less than four. I know how you hate math.”
Life plan
First of all, recognize that my death wasn’t too soon. It was right when it was supposed to be. You and I both know that there is a bigger calling in this life, and I hope that you continue to teach our kids the selfless love of Jesus.
I also hope that you find love again. This life is too short to live it alone. Just make sure he loves you, and loves our kids. (Also, make sure he signs a prenuptial agreement given all that money stuff we just talked about. 🙂 )
Continue to teach our kids to be selfless, respectful, and to put others first. Spend time with them and support their passions.
Brian Roemer interjects: “There’s not a jury in the world that would convict her.”
You may not realize this, but families who have money usually lose it by the third generation. So, don’t let our kids touch any of their non-college money until they are 24 at the youngest. Continue to teach them about money. Make sure they associate hard work with earning money. And make them give you a plan for what they want to do with it.
Tell our oldest little philosopher that she is brave, inquisitive, and sweet. I pray that she always continues to stay that way. And tell her that I am proud of the little woman she has become. My hope is that she stands up for those who can’t.
Hillary Rowe interjects: “Dear wife, I’m writing you this open letter to make sure the whole world knows that I (appear to be) financially controlling you, and I demand that same level of control after my untimely death.”
Tell our only son that, while I wasn’t always the best at understanding his emotions, I love his empathy. That is his gift – understanding others. Help him use it to serve others well. Make sure he knows that I am proud of him, and will always be proud of him no matter what he chooses to do with his life.
And to our fiesty Jack-Jack, teach her to harness all of that charisma and fervor. Teach her to love others with just as much passion. I hope that she always possesses a jealous and fierce love for her family.
Take home
To end this open letter to my wife – I want to point out that a chapter of our life has finished. We are selling the first home we had after getting married. The one where we brought home all three of our children, and created our life together over the past nine years. While this is bittersweet, I cannot wait for the memories that we have to come in our new house.
Know that I love you and that, if I die before you, I have cherished every moment we had together, even if I wasn’t always the best at showing it. Continue to love the kids the same way you loved me – unconditionally.
Love,
Your lesser half
Spotter: Nicole Cliffe
Posted: 15th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, Money, Strange But True | Comment
Bigots use Raheem Sterling racism row to control football fans
No Chelsea fans were at the Etihad last night to see Raheem Sterling and the rest of his Manchester City team beat Hoffenheim in the Champions League. No-one called Raheem Sterling a “fucking black cunt”, as is alleged, or a “Manc cunt”, as is claimed. (Lip-readers are on the case.) No tabloid today links Sterling with rising sea levels, knife crime and the unravelling of Brexit. The Mail does, however, say that some of the visiting German fans gave City’s German flyer Leroy Sane, scorer of both of City’s goals, “some stick”. Sane “appeared to be the subject of a verbal volley”. Tsk! Calling people names at the footy. Whatever next?
On Tuesday, the Mail told us Watford striker Isaac Success “was subjected to aggressive behaviour by local supporters” against Everton. Both Sane and Success are black, like Sterling – the player who illustrated his claim that racism is fueled by media bias with two stories from the Mail. The paper denied the allegation, and appears to be at pains to show readers that other players not in its crosshairs also get shouted at. There’s no claim that Sane was racially abused, and the Everton fans in the photo the paper used to illustrate its story aren’t even looking at Success. They were appealing for handball.
Hand balls!
The overriding impression is that football fans are thugs in need of control. That taps into an age-old tale that portrays them as a race-riot in waiting. It also fuels the bigotry that casts people who read and enjoy the tabloid press as violent fools. If Sterling was racially abused – and it’s still alleged that he was – it’s the rarity of the incident that makes it newsworthy. In the 1970s and 1980s, racism was the norm. At Chelsea FC it was condition of entry for many. And, for what it’s worth, nobody else at Chelsea claims to have heard racist language, including a black fan near Sterling’s abusers.
Racism still exists, of course it does. But this singling out of tabloid readers and largely working-class football fans as the root and result of the problem is to pander to other prejudices.
Posted: 13th, December 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, manchester united, News, Sports | Comment
After Strasbourg: Chérif Chekatt is a Moroccan, an Algerian and a Frenchman in Syria
A “gunman” shot three people dead and injured 12 others at Strasbourg’s Christmas market. The Guardian says gunman is “a 29-year-old born in Strasbourg”. And that is all. Any idea why he did it? One day on and the paper tells us the wanted man is what the French call “gangster-jihadists”. His name is Chérif Chekatt. He is from a family “with Moroccan roots”. He moved into “Islamic extremism”. What else do we know?
Disappointing to see BBC and Sky News lead with “Allahu Akbar” in their headline on the awful shooting in #Strasbourg vs. ITV and Al Jazeera who are being far more responsible.
This matters and it’s wrong. pic.twitter.com/62rEDMVbdq
— Miqdaad Versi (@miqdaad) December 12, 2018
At what point do you report that the suspect is an Islamist?
The Express makes it plain on its page 2, the headline reads: “Massive hunt for Islamist who shot three dead.” He’s a career criminal (paragraph 1) and “radical Islamist” (paragraph 2). He is “of Algerian descent”. Not Moroccan? Or is it all the same – British, Irish, German – all much of a muchness? Another report tells us Islamic State terrorists target shoppers, including those in Britain.
The Mirror features the story on page 11. The headline tells of the “gunman who killed two”. He is an Islamic terrorist (paragraph 1). He “screamed Allahu Akbar” before opening fire (paragraph 3). Again we read of the fear that Islamic State supporters will attack shoppers in the UK. The threat is ranked as “severe”. what he said and why he said it appears to be relevant.
The Sun calls Chekatt a “French terror fiend” He is a “butcher”. We read that he yelled Alluahu Akbar in paragraph 5. He is of “Algerian decent”. He’s been jailed in Free, Germany and Switzerland.
Facts – where did you say he was from?
The Daily Mail calls him the ‘Xmas killer”. In paragraph 5 we learn that Allah Akbar man ‘god is great’ in Arabic. Only the Mail mentions the victims. One is a Thai tourist called Anupong Suebsamarn. We’re told Chekatt “was radicalised in a French jail”. But we don’t know that to be true. The Mail then adds a touch of Brexit, noting, “Free movement rules mean he would not have to show a passport” if he closed the border into Germany. The paper says Cherkatt’s parents are Algerian. At no point does the Mail use the words Islam, Muslim or Islamist or Islamism. Chekatt’s religion is not mentioned.
In “Strasbourg shooting: What we know so far”, the BBC refers to Chekatt as a “gunman”. It is only in paragraph 7 we get a possible motive: “Along the way he opened fire several times and also used a knife to seriously wound and kill people, Mr Heitz added, saying the suspect yelled “Allahu Akbar” (“God is greatest” in Arabic) during the rampage.” His religion is not mentioned.
The Telegraph finds space to add: “Investigators are trying to establish whether Mr Chekatt travelled to Syria or Iraq to join an Islamist group, or whether he was radicalised entirely in France, according to sources close to the case.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 13th, December 2018 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
The Stansted 15 and the right to protest – don’t cheery pick your causes
Wind your neck back to March 28 2017. Fifteen protestors are attempting to prevent a plane chartered by the Home Office to deport illegal immigrants from leaving London’s Stansted airport. The plane is scheduled to drop its human cargo off in Nigeria, Sierra Leone and Ghana. Some of the activists have chained themselves to the plane’s front wheel. The plane never did take off. Predictably nicked, the group were charged with the crime of aggravated trespass. No biggie. The Crown Prosecution Service thought it not big enough and escalated the offence to one of “intentional disruption of services and endangerment at an aerodrome” – see: 1990 Aviation and Maritime Security Act; a law passed in response to the 1988 Lockerbie bombing that carries anything up to a life sentence. The CPS says the protesters “placed themselves, the flight crew, airport personnel and police at serious risk of injury or even death due to their actions on the airfield”. All 15 have been found guilty of this larger offence.
Ella Whelan argues that the Stansted 15 “were not intent on harming anyone at the airport. All they wanted to do was stop the plane.” What of the people aboard the plane? Well:
One man on that plane was going to miss the birth of his daughter due to his deportation – and he has since been granted permission to remain in the UK. As we saw in the Windrush scandal, the government’s approach to immigration control is chaotic and cruel: several of the people on board the plane were being deported under the ‘deport first, appeal later’ policy, which was deemed illegal shortly after the Stansted 15’s action.
To date, 11 of the passengers who were to be deported “have now been given legal status in the UK”, reports Sky News. So the criminals did good, then. They helped people and prevented injustice. We should now help them.
The Guardian calls the 15’s treatment “chilling”. The New Statesman calls the verdict “a particularly cold blast in the increasingly chill wind blowing against public dissent in the UK”. But does your view on the Stansted 15 hinge on whether or not you believe in the right to peaceful protest or if you just support their cause? The Guardian gives much space over to the nature of Home Office deportations:
The protesters were highlighting a harsh and punitive system with which many are rightly and increasingly ill at ease. In June this year, Virgin airlines said it would no longer help deportations. Relying on charter flights (in several cases from an RAF base, following the Stansted protest) only veils the issue.
Slugger O’Toole notes:
Over 300 public figures have signed the open letter including much of the Labour front bench, filmmaker Ken Loach, activist Owen Jones and writer Naomi Klein. It calls for the Stansted 15 to be spared prison and calls on “the UK government to end its inhumane hostile environment policies and to end its barely legal and shameful practice of deportation charter flights.”
That’s Owen Jones who tweeted: “The right to free speech does not give you a right to a platform.” That’s the New Statesman that told us of a “Kosher Conspiracy”. That’s Ken Loache who backs the censorious BDS movement. That’s the Guardian in which you can read the inane argument “No platforming is not a threat to free speech, it is only a threat to hate speech.” Championing free speech and free expression is something we should all support – but let’s not only do it when we agree with the persecuted and support popular ideas.
Brexit: Theresa May has more sticking power than an adolescent’s sheets
With more sticking power than an adolescent’s sheets, can Theresa May stave off an attack on her leadership from her own party? Tory MPs will vote on Theresa May’s leadership. The Party received the required minimum of 48 letters from MPs saying they no longer had confidence in her – a move ostensibly triggered by her decision to postpone the Commons vote on her Withdrawal Agreement. If she wins the Tory vote, she stays as leader. Is she loses May enters a leadership contest which whoever wants to take her on – take yer pick from Walter Softy, Bonking Boris, Someone with Kids by Boden or the contents of Phil’s Mystery Bin.
Meanwhile… Labour continues to sit on their hands, a position they’ve adopted with such gusto and at great length that Corbyn’s tonsils jaggle when he hails a taxi. Labour’s latest dry wank saw them pass up the chance to table a motion of no confidence in May. You wonder what it is they’re waiting for? Does anyone else suspect Corbyn realises that this is the peak of his career, him playing a crocodile post-dental extraction in the Tories’ Punch and Judy show? He lurks. He waits. Will he pounce? No. He lurks. He waits. Bugger! He’s left his teeth at the allotment. He tilts his head like a worried budgie, narrows his eyes and opines: “We have no confidence in this Government. We need to do the appropriate thing at the appropriate time to have a motion of no confidence in order to get rid of this Government.” The words “all options are open to us” will be written on his headstone.
Corbyn’s number 2, shadow chancellor John McDonnell, says Labour would announce a confidence motion “when we can win it”. Which is when? Wait and see. All options are open to us. He then told us that he’s either wilfully ignorant or a know-all: “We’ll make a judgement when we’re convinced about it. Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.” These are the leaders, folks, an ambulatory Quentin Blake sketch and a man who had all the answers before he was encumbered by actual power.
Meanwhile… over on the dark continent, the European Court of Justice says Britain can revoke Article 50 without the approval of the other EU member states. Those are judges, laydees and germs, playing at politics. The bigwigs say we can stay in the EU under our current terms of membership. Sod the popular vote to leave. Just ignore that. Yes, you are supposed to leave the EU in March 2019. But the demos and their elected representatives can be directed by the judges in Brussels. When we outsource democracy to the judiciary we should check the bill.
Maybe these judges just know the answer to the question: what do British MPs want? Do the majority of them want Brexit, like the voters do, or are they after one of the myriad fudges that Remainers – of which two thirds of our MPs are – hope will tie the country to the EU indefinitely: a second referendum, a People’s Vote, Norway-plus, a ruling that the result of the last referendum is null and void?
PS: anyone thought to stock up on yellow vests? Or is yellow too close to the colour of our leaders?
Posted: 12th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment
SOAS: dismal students ban the wrong kind of jokes at UNICEF fundraiser
SOAS University of London sent comedians invited to perform at a benefit gig a set of rules. This “behavioural agreement” censors them for talking about anything that is not “respectful and kind”. Konstantin Kisin was “genuinely shocked” to get the diktat. “I’ve performed at students unions many times before and never been asked to sign a contract,” he says. But this is SOAS , where comedy dies and right-on anti-Semitism thrives.
The best gags show us ourselves and our country in a spark of energy and wit. They are effectively offensive. They catch our prejudices and subvert them with a spiky punchline. SOAS wants children’s entertainers that merely show us what happens when you pull their finger.
Fisayo Eniolorunda, organiser from Soas’s Unicef on Campus society, sent Kisin and his fellow comics the rules “to ensure an environment where joy, love and acceptance are reciprocated by all”. Performers were “agreeing to our no tolerance policy with regards to racism, sexism, classism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, xenophobia, Islamophobia or anti-religion or anti-atheism”. A night of cannibalism it is, then.
Furthermore: “All topics must be presented in a way that is respectful and kind. It does not mean that these topics can not be discussed. But, it must be done in a respectful and non-abusive way.”
Realising that SOAS had become the joke, a spokesperson for the students union opined: “The union believes fully in freedom of speech and the freedom to try to make people laugh.”
Haha. Good one. Student Unions only believe in their own power to control. why any student would join one is beyond me. I suppose it’s like being milk monitor at big school.
Chelsea fans denies calling Raheem Sterling a ‘black c**t’
You do what you can to upset the opposition, right? Raheem Sterling was collecting a ball at Stamford Bridge when a group of Chelsea fans of a type that used to constitute a large chunk of the club’s fans before Roman’s billions bought success shouted at him. What was said is the subject of much heated debate. According to the Daily Mail, one of the fans opined: “I’m deeply ashamed by my own behaviour and I feel really bad. But I didn’t call him a black cunt, I called him a Manc cunt. I’ve been going to Chelsea for 50 years now and, because of where I sit, I’m picked up on the camera most weeks. If I had a history of saying this sort of thing I would’ve been caught by now.”
Police are investigating. No arrests have been made. Chelsea have suspended four people from attending their matches, pending further investigations into allegations of racial abuse directed at the London-raised England player.
The fan adds: “I offer him an unreserved apology. Even if it wasn’t racist, it’s not right what I said.” You can argue amongst yourselves if this Chelsea fan is deserving of an epithet before expressing in four-letters what he might or might not be.
A spokesperson for the Metropolitan police adds: “Officers continue to review footage and CCTV to determine whether any offences have been committed. Officers are in possession of the details of those reportedly involved – there have been no arrests at this time. The Met continues to work with both clubs and a number of inquiries are ongoing.”
Why don’t they just ask Raheem Sterling what he heard?
PS: More on Chelsea and what they did and didn’t say, here.
Posted: 11th, December 2018 | In: Chelsea, Key Posts, Manchester City, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
When squirrels attacks: critter jumps on delivery drivers head
If a squirrel jumped on your head, what would you do? They have big teeth and sharp nails. They pick out bad nuts and destroy them. But when this squirl jumped on a delivery driver, he took it in his stride:
PS: if you pull squirrels, get a grey hat and drum your fingers.
Spotter: Mashable
Posted: 11th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Raheem Sterling: of course it’s racism
Is Manchester City footballer Raheem Sterling singled out for special attention because he’s black? At Stamford Bridge last weekend, he was verbally assaulted by four people in the section reserved for Chelsea fans. A fan at Stamford Bridge allegedly called Sterling a “fucking black cunt”. Sterling says the abuse is driven by a racist media that portrays black footballers in a bad light. John Barnes, who had bananas lobbed at him by Liverpool fans when he joined the club, says “black people in the inner cities go through this [discrimination] every day”. Don’t blame the media for appealing to its readers’ prejudices. Look at the bigger picture. And wonder this: why are black kids seen as cool, an act of rebellion for whites to like black fashions and music? Is it something to do with blacks as the perpetual outsiders, their existence something other and less wholesome than the rest of civilised society?
The Sun goes for Raheem
Musa Okwonga wonders.
You think this is your England because you read the most popular newspapers in the country and they agree with you – they agree with you that black footballers, like children, must be seen and not heard, that the second they decide to do anything more than score spectacular goals they become a threat. Those newspapers remind you daily that there is no aspect of criminality to which a black footballer cannot be connected.
Story on drugs and crime: Nothing to do with Raheem Sterling
But sticking with media, in the Times Henry Winter looks at how tabloids focus on the bling:
Breaking news: for those in the media reporting that Raheem Sterling’s new house in Cheshire boasts a three-car garage, well it did when he bought it but doesn’t now, as the fitness-conscious Manchester City and England player quickly transformed it into a gym to work out after training. For those in the media obsessing about the size of Sterling’s garden, well he’s redesigned part of it into a pitch with full-sized goals so he can practise finishing…
Sterling’s not flash. He’s not extravagant. He’s an exceptional professional, pivotal to club and country, a role model to a generation and deserving of proper respect.
I’d take issue with one point: Sterling’s no role model to anyone but his children. Sterling’s his own man, an exceptionally gifted athlete possessed of the talent and drive to make it in top-level sport. He’s no more a role model for the great unwashed than Winter is.
Will Winter consider the Sun’s take on “Obscene Raheem“, the boy who did well enough to buy his mum a house and was attacked for doing so? Yes. Although not by name. “Why do media outlets publish breathless pieces dripping with sanctimony about his new house being close to a dogging site,” wincers Winter, “ignoring the fact that some well-known neighbours live closer. They’re white by the way. No one mentions them.” Winter can make a short walk to find out – the Times and Sun share an owner and office space. Winter gamely takes on the The Times’ sister paper. “Whereas some white players down the years are forgiven for their excesses as loveable rogues, Sterling receives the “Obscene Raheem” opprobrium. The media really needs to look at itself at times and it was encouraging to hear some contrition from concerned parties after Sterling’s powerful calling out of the media yesterday.”
What says the Sun? Lots. Sterling has touched a nerve. The Sun has responded with a host of stories in support of Sterling. Its picked up the mood and run with it, as all good tabloids must:
The Sun man’s up
What about the Mail? Sterling used two screenshots, one of a Daily Mail story and one of a Mail Online story, to support his claim that the press treated black footballers unfairly compared to their white peers. The Mail says Sterling is wrong to claim reporting in Mail titles is racial motivated:
The Press Gazette has news:
A story by former Mail Online reporter Anthony Joseph was among those shared by Sterling. He said Sterling had raised “some very valid points” that the media “needed to listen to”. Defending his own story, Joseph said: “The story was done at a time when BT had a documentary on teenage footballers earning millions.
“It was topical and there was a huge debate about it. The same day there was at least an hour segment about it on Talksport. The original story, which I followed up, appeared in The Sun. I spoke to the player’s agent, who had no issue with story and how it was represented. Reporters don’t do headlines, but I still don’t feel it vilifies him. It was just topical at the time, nor did I even make a connection of his colour – it didn’t even cross my mind.”
Joseph added that Sterling raised “some very valid points” that the media “needed to listen to”.
Good stuff, then. Sterling has spoken out and the media has responded. Racism is an evil that sticks and corrodes. The better news is that the story of racism is newsworthy because it is now rarer now than it was. Next up: why are there no black editors of national newspapers – not one; never has been?
Posted: 11th, December 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, manchester united, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Brexit: Theresa May keeps her powder dry as drips and storm clouds gather
How do you illustrate Brexit? The papers go with a photo by Daniel Leal-Olivas. The front pages feature a picture of Theresa May beneath a black umbrella. Her eyes are looking at the ground. We are approaching the “End of May’s reign”, says the Daily Mirror. “Tory rivals line up to oust May”, says the i. They’ve been lining up for so long a few have passed out. Someone should check their pulse. May’s not sheltering from a storm beneath that brolly – she’s keeping the drips off.
The Times hears “a leading Tory” MP says he “believes” Conservative MPs will file the 48 letters needed to trigger a confidence vote in her leadership. He also believes, allegedly, in free school dinners, man-made climate change, the Jews did it and the youthful effects of grey beards. Another anonymous MP tells the Daily Telegraph May knows she will not win Tuesday’s vote.
May, he says, reminds him of Charles Dickens’ Wilkins Micawber, who was forever insisting that “something will turn up”. Micawber also says: “Welcome poverty!..Welcome misery, welcome houselessness, welcome hunger, rags, tempest, and beggary! Mutual confidence will sustain us to the end!” Hurrah for the eternal optimist. The poor live fuller lives than the rich. Bring it on. And if it fails, we can all leave for a new life in Australia.
As MPs dust off their York Notes to kick up a quote in place of original thought, readers wonder why they should chose to appear anonymous whilst sticking the knife in. The MPs’ vanity is clear – these people actually believe the great unwashed know who the hell they are. Dream on.
But there is a plan. The Sun commands May to head to Brussels and demand further concessions. The Mail agrees. And the Express. Well, it alone supports May.
Eyes up, Theresa. Keep yer powder dry. The sunny uplands await us.
Posted: 10th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
Judge Qiana Lillard jails drunk drive killer’s laughing supporters
“Bravo to this Judge who threw a drunk driver’s mom in jail for laughing at victim’s family in court,” says @misslaneym. Amanda Kosal’s not the only member of her family doing prison time in relation to a fatal drink-drive case. Kosal’s been sentenced to 3 to 15 years in prison for being drunk when she careered into a vehicle driven by Jerome Zirker, who was killed. Kosal also severely injured Mr Zirker’s fiancé, Brittany Johnson, mother to their five children.
Judge Qiana Lillard was unimpressed by Kosal’s supporters, who allegedly laughed before sentencing. Said Lillard to Donna Kosal, Amanda Kosal’s mother:
“It’s time for him to go. And I don’t know who he is, but whoever can sit here at a tragic moment like this and laugh and smile when somebody has lost a family member … in the entire time that Mr. Zirker’s sister was speaking that clown, and that’s what I am going to call him, a clown, was sitting there smiling and laughing. And you can go, too. Because if you don’t know how to act, you can go to jail. So leave. Anybody that can sit there and laugh and smirk — take her, she’s going in the back — anybody else wanna go? You can go, too. This is a court of law. And these are very serious matters. I understand that you all are very upset because your loved one is going to prison but guess what, she’s going to prison for the choices that she made. These people are here grieving, saddened because a senseless act took away their loved one and you’re sitting here acting like it’s a joke?”
Judge Qiana Lillard
Kosal senior was taken into custody for criminal contempt.
“Your disruptive and disrespectful behavior disrupted today’s proceedings and you, ma’am, are going to the Wayne County Jail for 93 days.”
Zirker’s mother, Rathel Fizer, told local media:
“I want her to stay out and help support my grandchildren, because they don’t have a father to take care of them. If she goes to prison or jail, I’m taking care of her. I don’t want her to mail a check. I want her to hand-deliver it to them so she can see the faces that she destroyed.”
Next – the aftermath:
Then the media gets to work. They says Lillard “lashed out”? And she’ll get a show – from a man dying in a car crash, you get your own TV show?! Is everything just entertainment in America?
Manchester City star Raheem Sterling realises he’s black amid tabloid onslaught
England and Manchester City forward Raheem Sterling says media bias does “fuel racism”. Sterling was allegedly racially abused by Chelsea fans at the weekend. We’ve long pointed out how ‘Obscene Raheem” (source: The Sun) is treated differently in the media to other players – also here, here and here. And it appears Sterling has noticed. “I just want to say, I am not normally the person to talk a lot but when I think I need my point heard I will speak up,” he posted on his Instagram page. “Regarding what was said at the Chelsea game, as you can see by my reaction I just had to laugh because I don’t expect no better.”
The Sun saw the house Raheem bought his mum
Sterling invited us to compare and contrast two Mail articles. One shows Tosin Adarabioyo under the headline: ‘Young Manchester City footballer, 20, on £25,000 a week splashes out on mansion on market for £2.25m despite having never started a Premier League match’; the other shows another City teenage midfielder, Phil Foden, and the headline “Foden buys new £2m home for his mum.” Tosin is black. Phil is white. Tosin is a lucky swine. Phil is a loving son.
Says Raheem:
“You have two young players starting out their careers – both play for the same team, both have done the right thing, which is buy a new house for their mothers who have put in a lot of time and love into helping them get where they are,” wrote Sterling. “But look at how the newspapers get their message across for the young black player and then for the young white player. I think this is unacceptable, both innocent, have not done a thing wrong but just by the way it has been worded.
“The young black kid is looked at in a bad light. Which helps fuel racism an[d] aggressive behaviour. So for all the newspapers that don’t understand why people are racist in this day and age all I have to say is have a second thought about fair publicity an[d] give all players an equal chance.”
Is Raheem Sterling black? Let’s see some other Raheem news:
The Sun’s story on drugs had nothing to do with Raheem Sterling
Sterling gets a tribute to his late father – it’s an anti-gun tattoo. The Sun went to town on him.
The Sun told us about Raheem and his part in the Vietnam War
Damiloa Taylor was stabbed to death when he was 10. Sterling must apologise, says the Sun.
And the Sun’s Star letter is… GET STERLING!
England players would never glorify guns. Sterling shames the shirt.
The Mirror writes the most trite sentence ever: “Sterling follows a number of Premiership stars to buy dogs’
Here’s more on Foden and the new home he bought this mum and dad. The Mail said:
The 18-year-old’s parents, Phil and Claire, are thought to have been involved in choosing the house and he is determined to keep the close-knit family together despite his emergence as one of England’s outstanding talents.
We never were told if Raheem’s mum, who raised him in less than salubrious surrounds, helped chose the bricks and furnishings for her “obscene” home (price: £3.5m), nor how the new home kept the pair together. But for Phil it’s all terrific:
The move is likely to change little for the player who has always lived at home, doesn’t drink and doesn’t yet drive. He takes cash, rather than cards, on nights out and is thought to have taken out a substantial mortgage on the new house.
Foden’s cake was not the least bit flash, tacky and obscene.
That really takes the cake.
As for Sterling’s point about the media fuelling racism, is he right?
The Labour Party supporting New Statesman had a question that might have been rhetorical.
Discuss.
Posted: 9th, December 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Patient coughs up lung-shaped blood clot
The New England Journal of Medicine reports on a patient suffering from heart failure who reportedly coughed up a huge blood clot. That’s it in the photo. It looks a lot like a mould of the lung and its tributaries. The Atlantic’s Haley Weiss notes: “Doctors Aren’t Sure How This Even Came Out of a Patient”:
In Wieselthaler’s case, blood eventually broke out of his patient’s pulmonary network into the lower right lung, heading directly for the bronchial tree. After days of coughing up much smaller clots, Wieselthaler’s patient bore down on a longer, deeper cough and, relieved, spit out a large, oddly shaped clot, folded in on itself. Once Wieselthaler and his team carefully unfurled the bundle and laid it out, they found that the architecture of the airways had been retained so perfectly that they were able to identify it as the right bronchial tree based solely on the number of branches and their alignment.
Mr Wieselthaler died not long after.
Spotter: Boing Boing
Posted: 7th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Arsenal players in legal high role model shocker
PSST! Wanna see young men inhaling nitrous oxide, you know, like medical students and junior doctors used to do? Well, you can, reportedly. Photos of Arsenal players inhaling balloons of what is allegedly nitrous oxide are all over the Sun. Lest you suppose young men larking about during their summer holidays is no big deal, the Sun tells us the men are “role models” – for who is unsaid; maybe their children – and the gas is “hippy crack”, a nickname that manages to make light of actual crack cocaine – the crap that erodes your head – and gives laughing gas a dangerous edge.
The images will, says the paper, “horrify fans”. No, not drugs fans upset that that this airy rubbish, this balloon juice is being likened to Grade A ‘good stuff’. The “fans” are football fans who looks for life guidance to Mesut Ozil or Matteo Guendouzi. For them this is a disaster. Of course, anyone who considers a stranger and not a big brother, mum, uncle or someone they meet regularly a “role model” most likely has other issues that need professional help.
Over pages 4 and 5, we learn that the “aces” were at private do where alcohol – that legal poison – was freely sold at exorbitant prices. There was scotch – aka Hippy Buckfast – champagne – aka Vagrants Thunderbird – and vodka – aka Peasant Fuel. All legal to possess – just like hippy crack!
Yes, folks, the story is grim – men break no laws at private do! The horror! The horror!
Posted: 7th, December 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Key Posts, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
