Key Posts Category
Michael Jackson Brain Pictures
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news -Jackson’s brain, the $100m corpse, mental illness and no nose…
THE big Wacko-ed Jacko news is that singer has had his brain reunited with his body. The brain has been washed, scrubbed and interrogated by the Peado Police. It will soon be rolled up and smoked by his fans to recapture the essence of the man.
First the news, as told by the caring Daily Mirror:
“Michael Jackson gets his brain back – paving the way for his funeral”
It turns out that Jackson’s mind was troubled. Yeah, who knew?
A coroner’s source yesterday said an autopsy on the 50-year-old’s body found widespread skin discolouration of chest, hands, back and genitals. It is believed this was a result of Jacko spilling a skin bleaching agent on himself while trying to compensate for the effects of vitiligo, a pigment disorder that causes discoloured patches.
The Mirror interrupts this update on the Jackson remains to show ambulatory opinion Ruby Wax advertising mental health disease.
Touching stuff.
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Posted: 8th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (21)
Madeleine McCann: Victoria Beckham Lookalike Found
MADELEINE McCann Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Madeleine McCann in the news – Posh lookalike found, live from Barcelona and the Swedish ghost ship…
Daily Express (back on the front page): “MADDIE: Mystery of yacht that just vanished”
It’s the “MADDIE YACHT MYSTERY”.
No, it’s not the yacht that just vanished form the new, the Arab yacht that in June 2007 caused the Express to yell “Find the Arab’s yacht.” This is another disappearing yacht entirely:
A YACHT which left the Algarve just hours after Madeleine McCann disappeared has vanished without trace, the Daily Express can reveal. The luxury Swedish cruiser sailed out of the Portuguese harbour at Portimao on May 4, 2007, the morning after four-year-old Madeleine disappeared. It has not been seen since.
Last night there was growing speculation that Madeleine might have been whisked out of Portugal on the mystery boat.
Speculation like:
It is possible Madeleine could have been abducted on the orders of a childless couple, desperate to have a family, and taken to Barcelona to meet her new “parents”…
And the mystery yacht?
In Sweden all vessels measuring over 12 metres (40ft) long must be registered with the Swedish Maritime Administration. But inquires with their head office in Stockholm yesterday found no record of the yacht.
You don’t suppose… No, it’s too far-fetched. Well, you don’t suppose the mystery yacht was smaller than 12 metres long?
Daily Star: “Maddie: Was she on boat?”
The Swedish boat or the Arab boat? The jet ski?
MADDIE: RIDDLE OF AUSSIE ‘GHOST SHIP’
DETECTIVES hunting for Madeleine McCann were last night trying to trace a multi-million-pound power boat. The high-speed craft flying the Australian flag was moored yards from the spot where a nervous Posh Spice lookalike asked a Brit: “Are you here to deliver my daughter?’’
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Posted: 8th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (33)
Dignified Peter Andre Says Katie Price Is Disgusting
THE Sun has news form Peter Andre that his estranged wife is disguisting. Says the front-page screamer: “JORDAN IS DISGUSTING.”
It’s Pete The Good, the media’s antithesis to Katie Price the Bad, telling Sun readers that his estranged wife is “Disgusting”. This follows Peter calling Katie “cheap“. It’s Peter The Good who told on the subject of his kids:
I’m aware that at some stage they’ll want to go on the internet, read what happened, and see what was said, and I don’t want them to read anything bad their dad has said about their mum.
Now Peter Andre has more to say:
SHOCKED PETER ANDRE last night accused JORDAN of dealing him “the lowest blow ever” when she let their four-year-old son see her in bed with her new lover. Singer Pete, 36, branded his ex “disgusting” as he told how Junior asked him why Mummy was in bed with another man.
Gordon Smart has the dirt. And in keeping with Rupert Murdoch’s statement that his titles will not publish all their contents for free on the web, readers are invited “To read this exclusive interview in full buy today’s Sun newspaper.”
Don’t bother.
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Posted: 8th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (8)
Jude Law’s Samantha Burke Sweet Underwear Pictures
SAMANTHA Burke is the model/actress, former hooters waitress (“with her fun bags on display“), expecting actor Jude Law’s baby, Sophia Law, the one who called a press conference to tell the assembled hacks:
“I just wish that everyone could respect my privacy during this time. Thank you”
These are pictures, self-portraits, of Samantha Burke placed on the internet. The pictures show Burke’s expanding tum-tum.
But we will not say anyone lest we invade her privacy. Indeed, Burke is so demure that she shuns the paprazzi and resorts to taking pictures of herself in states of undress.
The parents of 24-year old Samantha have apparently described their daughter as a very sweet girl:
Burke is “a very sweet girl who didn’t flaunt her looks and guys tended to keep their distance“
Honk! Honk!
Gallery:
Posted: 7th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Michael Jackson Buried in Las Vegas
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news- Jackson burined in Las Vegas, La Toya has 100 news songs, malware, the Stasi, benzodiazepines and Miley Cyrus is dead…
CelebBuzz: “Neverland Ranch: Moving to Las Vegas?”
E! Online reports that plans are underway to move Michael Jackson’s former home, Neverland Ranch, from Santa Barbara, California, to Las Vegas so that it can become Sin City’s newest tourist attraction… adding a museum, theater, and a burial plot where fans could pay their respects to the fallen King of Pop.
Attractions include the Nosorium, the Moonwalk – a moving pavement taking less mobile Americans through Jackson’s life all the way to the burial slab which lights up as you touch it and at midnight opens to start the Werewolf Show.
“The idea is to take physically everything that’s not part of the dirt and reassemble it in Las Vegas,” a source reveals.
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Posted: 7th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Madeleine McCann: McCanns Consult With Victoria Beckham
MADELEINE McCann Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Madeleine McCann in the news – Madeleine McCann is missing and the celebrity face of Victoria Beckham is linked to her vanishing.
It’s The Third Summer of Our Maddie and four newspapers – The Sun, the Daily Mirror, the Daily Star and the Daily Express – all lead with the hunt a woman who looks a “bit like” Victoria Beckham”…
Daily Star (front page): “MADDIE: find yacht oz woman.”
She had a yacht with her? Well, no. She was Australian. Well, she might have been. She was a woman? Yes. Unless… Such are the facts.
A worldwide hunt was under way last night for a Posh Spice lookalike who cops believe could be linked to Madeleine McCann’s kidnapping.
No, not cops – private detectives who used to be cops.
This woman was seen pacing nervously up and down on the quayside outside the El Rey De La Gamba seafood restaurant in Barcelona’s trendy Port Olimpic district at 2am.
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Posted: 7th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (11)
Ronnie Biggs A Life In Pictures And Crime
GREAT Train Robber Ronnie Biggs has been released from prison. Justice Secretary Jack Straw says Biggs is so ill he should not be in jail.
Biggs has had three strokes, can communicate only with the aid of an alphabet board and is fed through a tube in his stomach.
The probation report tells us:
“Due to the significant decline in his health he would be highly unlikely to be able to participate in the planning or commission of further offences and I assess the risk of reoffending as low. Mr Biggs will need to reside in a placement with provision for 24-hour nursing care on release.
“Provision has yet to be identified as discussions are taking place between Norfolk and Barnet Primary Care Trusts as to which authority will fund his care.”
August 1963 – Biggs marks his 34th birthday by takign part in the robbery of the London to Glasgow mail train, stealing £2.6m (£50m in today’s money).
Posted: 6th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (6)
Madeleine McCann: Fat Victoria Beckham, New Zealand And Michael Jackson
MADELEINE McCann Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Madeleine McCann in the news – Fat Victoria Beckham, New Zealand And Michael Jackson…
FIRST Post: “McCann detectives seek Australian woman”
The First Post has the facts. The wanted woman is Australian. Not a Kiwi as earlier reported. Fact.
The men described her as a “Victoria Beckham lookalike”. She had an Australian accent and spoke Spanish and Catalan as well as English.
So she might not have been Australian, only blessed with the accent she got from watching daytime telly.
The Guardian: “The woman, said to have an Australian or New Zealand accent”
The First Post:
The two witnesses are said to have encountered the woman outside a restaurant in Barcelona’s popular marina area. She apparently mistook the principal witness, a 41-year-old man, for someone she was supposed to meet.
A man she was supposed to meet?
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Posted: 6th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (17)
Pictures From Inside Michael Jackson’s Mansion Of Death
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – the blood-soaked shirt; the Jackson death bed and pictures inside the Jackson “death mansion”…
The Sun: “‘Bloodied’ shirt in Jacko’s wardrobe”
Having shown us around the morgue, and bounced on the singer’s death bed, fans of Jackson armchair theatre not get:
A WOMEN’S blouse appearing to be stained with blood hangs in Michael Jackson’s wardrobe – sparking a new mystery over the superstar’s death.
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Posted: 6th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)
Susan Boyle’s Harper’s Bazaar Interview In Pictures And Video
SOURCES tell us that when confronted with the mighty talent that is Susan Boyle, Michael Jackson knew the game was up.
When Jackson gamely stepped aside, Susan Boyle became the world’s foremost entertainer. And now in Susan Boyle, Unsung Hero she gives her first “major magazine interview” to Harper’s Bizarre Bazaar.
Susan Boyle is at Cliveden, resisting the urge to pose in the manner of Christine Keeler, preferring to remain dressed in new clothes, her face painted and her back resting against the chair support. Boyle is styled to look regal. Says Boyle:
“It does feel unreal. It will take a bit of adjusting to because I’ve led a sheltered life, I know. I’ve got life experience, but mentally I have to adjust. But it’s all good. All good.”
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Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)
London’s Ugly Truth Permiere In Pictures
ANORAK was at last night’s premiere of The Ugly Truth’ London premiere, and we bring you the pictures of the celebrity liggers who love the film soooo much they went to see it for free.
So low on the radar are these celebs that they risk being taken for copyright pirates.
If the calibre of celebs on the soggy wet carpet is a guide to how well The Ugly Truth will do at the book office, look out for it appearing in a wicker basket outside a charity shop in the next fortnight.
Cue the Celebs:
Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Gerard Butler Marries Jennifer Aniston In OK!
OK! Wednesday: Jordan comes clean, Steven Gerrard’s privacy, Patsy Kensit’s latest husband, Cheryl’s Cole weight secrets and Gerard Butler marries Jennifer Aniston…
Jordan Is No Longer Off Men
One week on from telling OK! readers that she is “off men”, Jordan tells OK! readers:
“I’m dating Alex but I’m no cheat.”
As ever this is billed as a “WORLD EXCLUSIVE”, and it will be news to those OK! readers who haven’t read the tabloids the past week or more in which Katie Price has been spotted with her new lover.
In Katie’s “DEAR JORDAN” agony aunt page, the aid to masturbation says:
“Everyone I get photographed with at the moment I’m supposedly sleeping with! But I can confirm I’m seeing Alex Reid and no one else.”
So she wasn’t lying when she said she was “off men”. She is “off men”, but “on man”.
Gerard Butler – “The HUNKY ACTOR OPENS UP ABOUT GOOD DATES, BAD DATES AND HIS FAVOURITE BIT OF WOMAN”
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Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Michael Jackson’s New Single
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Jackson film, Jackson XBox, lighters, Jackon’s new single and Chris Brown is the new Michael Jackson…
Daily Mirror: “Michael Jackson insurers thought glowing medical examination for tour must have been on ‘the body of a Nasa astronaut’”
The media introduces another doctor into the fray:
Dr David Slavit’s examination results were handed to the insurers of Jackson’s planned 50 O2 concerts. But officials were surprised Jackson passed the medical, despite a history of health problems. It left finance chiefs joking that the examination must have been based on, “the body of a Nasa astronaut” rather than the 50-year-old star…
Buzz Aldrin is fighting fit.
Meanwhile, Anorak in-house doctor can reveal: “Michael Jackson was not well when he died!”
SF Gate: “Deals could bring more Jackson products”
Michael Jackson products could start appearing on store shelves, cell phones, even in X-Box add-ons if a judge signs off on a merchandising deal. The current administrators of the singer’s estate have presented several proposed contracts to a probate judge for approval. The agreements offer a taste of how the King of Pop may be sold in the coming months and years.
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Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Jennifer Aniston Is Pregant, Mel Gibson’s Hair Plugs And Michael Jackson’s Drugs Runner
NATIONAL Enquirer Tuesday: Angelina Jolie “explodes”, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant, Mel Gibson’s “hair plugs” and Michael Jackson’s drugs runner…
ANGELINA Jolie “EXPLODES”.
And the National Enquirer asks readers:
“Is Jennifer [Aniston] having your baby?”
This question might be pertinent. Over the past five years, Aniston’s womb has been the subject of much speculation in the Enquirer, it being possibly impregnated by a host of actors whose names are too long to list here.
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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Over A Million Death Threats Made Against Barack Obama
THE Barack Obama Death Cult issues 30 death threats a day. Hoodies are selling well. Anorak has documented the Death Cult threats in the media, and they can be read here.
The mainstream media loves the Barack Obama Death Cult. And now Ronald Kessler says in his book In the President’s Secret Service that since Obama became president threats against the office have increased by 400 per cent.
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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (7)
Mr Katie Price, Peter Andre, ‘Never Liked Jordan’
SENTIMENTAL Peter Andre is on the cover of heat magazine, his hair un-gelled, his chest un-oranged and bared, and news that “I NEVER liked Jordan” and that Pete is set to “REVEAL ALL”.
This is Peter the Good, the simpering media antithesis to Katie Price The Bad.
The magazine’s Kay Ribeiro tells us that Katie has given interviews on the telly, talked to a magazine and appeared in “barely-there clothes”; Pete has maintained a “dignified silence” – which you can read about in the News of the World magazine, see on This Morning and feel in his lyrics to his new album.
Now Pete has, er, “finally decided to speak out”.
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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Michael Jackson’s Body Bag And Morgue Pictures
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – a look at Jackson’s morgue, Debbie Rowe “sues” TMZ and art…
Sky News: “Jackson Body Given ‘Prestige’ At Morgue”
An investigator who witnessed Michael Jackson’s post-mortem has told Sky News his body was treated with “more prestige” than other bodies.
The cashmere body bag? The monwalking morticians? The testimony of one Lieutenant David Smith, who delivers his Jackson & Me:
“If anything, just for his own privacy and protection. He was kept very much under lock and key.”
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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Jessica Simpson Models Her New Signature Lingerie
JESSICA Simpson follows up the launch of her signature scent Indian Giver with her signature lingerie. In time she may choose to combine the two enterprises by steeping her knickers in her fragrance and so giving male fans and/or the institutionalised an intoxicating rub of possibility.
Simpson could produce a new set of knickers for every day of the month, featuring such treats as Granola Tuesdays, Egg White Omelette Sundays and the supersized Christmas Blow Out, available in post-lover blue.
All this and more was up for discussion as Simpson sat down with Women’s Wear Daily.
WWD: Do you love lingerie?
Jessica Simpson: Of course I love lingerie. What girl doesn’t? My lingerie reflects the way I’m feeling when I wake up and helps me set the tone for my day.
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Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Doctor’s Aide ‘Killed’ Michael Jackson
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – he was “killed” by Dr Conrad’s aide.
THE media lust to bring us the “Murder of Michael Jackson” sees the Sun scream:
“Aide ‘killed’ Jacko with Demerol hit as Doctor Murray slept.”
Case solved detectives JAMES CLENCH, NICK PARKER, PETE SAMSON and VIRGINIA WHEELER. Officer La Toya Jackson salutes you. So who dunnit? Who Wacko’ed Jacko?
MICHAEL Jackson was killed by a shot of powerful painkiller Demerol given by an aide as his personal medic Dr Conrad Murray slept, the Sun can reveal.
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Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Ryan O’Neal Tried To Seduce Daughter Tatum At Farrah Fawcett’s Funeral
FARRAH Fawcett is the suibject of a double-dead header Vanity Fair issue with Michael Jackson. In the Vanity Fair, Fawcett’s former lover Ryan O’Neal explains the funeral goings on:
“I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her, ‘You have a drink on you? You have a car?’ She said, ‘Daddy, it’s me–Tatum!’ I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it’s my daughter. It’s so sick.”
You have a place? You have protection? You look kind familiar. Did we meet in trailer 6 at the Sesame Street Retrospective in 1973?
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Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Michael Jackson Missing From Death Bed Pictures
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Jackson’s death bed revisited, Dr Conrad Murray and Michael Jackson is missing…
The Daily Mirror’s front page promises/ threatens: “Secrets of Jackson’s death bed.”
This is another chance for tabloid fans to view the bed on which Michael Jackson died. The secrets are many:
Jackson had a pillow!
Jackson had a duvet!
Jackson pillow and duvet were NOT Little Mermaid knock offs!
There were no little boys in his bed.
Now read “THE FINAL STRUGGLE“.
Victoria Ward and Ryan Parry pay homage to the Jackson death bed:
THE KING OF POP 1958-2009 THE BEDROOM JACKSON DIED IN
This is the bedroom where medics battled to save Michael Jackson, the pillow still dented where his head lay.
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Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Marky Mark Wahlberg’s Catholic Wedding To Rhea Durham In Pictures
MARKY Mark Wahlberg is now married to Rhea Durham, mother to his three children, Elly Ella, Micky Michael and Brendy Brendan.
Mark Wahlberg is not a Jew. A non-Jew called Mark –berg needs to be tough and know what he is.
Walhberg is a practising Catholic, which means he gets to marry mum in a church with his children present.
If Marky Mark should ever get divorced he can get Mel Gibson’s dad Hutton Gibson to do the ceremony and still be a good Catholic.
Mel Gibson’s dad knows how you can be a hardcore Catholic and still be divorced while living with your pregnant lover. Mel Gibson’s also knows the Holocaust is a massive exaggeration and Jews just left Europe out of choice. Mel Gibson’s dad just knows.
But this is not about Gibson. Some things aren’t. Really. Mel.. really. This is about Marky Mark. This is his day. And Pictures of his wedding are hereunder:
Posted: 2nd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Peter Andre Calls Katie Price ‘Cheap’
IN the prelude to ITV2’s Peter Andre: Going It Alone, a reality show in which Mr Katie Price goes it alone in the company of a TV crew, Pete The Good talks with the News of the World’s magazine.
In “Peter Andre: Torment, tears and why he left Katie Price”, readers get to hear from Pete The Good. Pete seems willing to talk about his marriage but at the same time apparently keen to show that he is not keen to talk about his marriage.
Within minutes of arriving at our shoot in Hove, near Brighton, Peter Andre has greeted the girls with a kiss and shaken the guys’ hands… Peter’s in good spirits. That is, until he spies a newspaper article that we’d tried ever-so-quickly to hide as he entered the kitchen. His smile disappears. He physically steels himself and says: “Show me. I want to see.”
…There, next to a picture of Katie wearing a tiny handkerchief of a dress, is a story about how she plans to “finish what she started” with footballer Frank Lampard… and then make a play for Cristiano Ronaldo too.
It’s an awkward moment. Peter can’t stop himself staring at this latest humiliation. He shakes his head, looks away and mutters: “That’s just so cheap,” under his breath. His eyes suddenly look sad and he can’t face a mouthful of the enormous breakfast spread in front of him.
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Posted: 2nd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (12)
Michael Jackson’s Death Bed Pictures And Secret Funeral
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Jackson’s death bed, Jackson’s shroud and Jackson’s drugs…
NOTW: PSST! Wanna see Michael Jackson’s “deathbed photo”?
In a “world exclusive photo” in today’s News of the World, readers are seduced by the chance to see a man dead on a bed.
Showbiz is escapism from the rigours of life. Turn away from pictures of dead soldiers being repatriated, cancer victims and the swine flu pox to see the King of Pop dead on a bed.
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Posted: 2nd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (39)
Katie Price’s ‘Strangled’ Sex And Jilted Lover
HAVING heard Jordan, aka Katie Price, tell the world via OK! magazine that she is “off men” and dating no-one, the News of the World brings a flurry of stories about her, er, boyfriend.
JORDAN’S SECRETS: Boxer’s cheated girlfriend hits out – That cruel woman wrecked my life
JORDAN was last night accused of STEALING her new cage fighter lover – by the woman he planned to WED. Loyal Marie Thornett revealed fame-hungry mauler and small-time actor Alex Reid was actually texting HER messages of undying love while Jordan was seducing HIM with her glamour model charms.
“Loyal Marie”, you see, is not fame-hungry in talking to the press – she just wants to set the record straight…
“Alex was supposed to be with me in Spain, instead he was groping her in a nightclub. We planned to spend the rest of our lives together and now it’s in ruins-thanks to Jordan.”
“Loyal Marie” should not put too much stock in getting friendly with Jordan in a club. But what else of “Loyal Marie”?
Marie insisted she and Reid, 34, were seriously preparing for marriage despite a tempestuous decade together with several break-ups, including one where she had a son with another man in 2006.
The Sex: “Katie Price’s hunk was sex mad, reveals ex-lover.”
This ex-lover turns out not to be “Loyal Marie” but Danielle Sims, who can be seen dressed in her knickers and cradling her chest:
Danielle Sims says cage-fighter Alex Reid liked to strangle her and make her call him “Master” during wild S&M sessions…
The accusation is that Reid, a cage fighter by trade, takes his work home with him:
“Alex got off on rough sex. He liked to put his hands around my throat in a stranglehold and say, ‘Who’s the master? Who’s the daddy?’ He would then tell me I was never going to sleep with anyone else but him.
“All the time, he had his hands round my throat in a grip. Sometimes I’d have to cough or shake my head furiously before he’d release me but it never got to the point where I’d actually pass out.”
Readers are treated to a picture of Reid with his hands around Danielle’s throat. And a potted history fo Reid and Simm’s sex life:
• KEPT an arsenal of sex and fetish gear including vibrators, bondage tape, gimp mask, ball-shaped gag and one bizarre kinky contraption he strapped to his forehead.
• MADE her put a sex toy in her underwear which he would activate by remote-control when they were out in public.
• LUSTED after her in public, even romping with her in a Debenhams changing room and at Alton Towers.
Anorak had long supposed that Kate I and Peter split up becsue they ran out of sex positions. Had only they not gone to America but to Alton Towers or Debenhams they would possibly be together now.
Katie Price has suspected swine flu.
Posted: 2nd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
