The iPhone Purity Ring App And Virgin Alert Ringtone

HEY hipsters, got the new Purity ring app released for iPhone? Trills the press release:

Leading Christian iPhone App Development Agency, Island Wall Entertainment, have developed a PurityRing iPhone App in an attempt to engage with today’s youth using new mediums. Anyone with an iPhone or iPod Touch can now take a purity pledge via their mobile device and then proudly display their timeless purity ring spinning on the screen.

The app. also boasts a purity ring tone that plays Like a Virgin in a five-fingers organ concerto.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 15th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment

Madeleine McCann’s Algarve Is ‘Awash’ With Paedophiles

MADELEINE McCann Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Madeleine McCann in the news – Kate and Gerry McCann sue Goncalo Amaral, Oprah Winfrey cruises and washing in Algarve paedophiles…

Sun Times (via): “Some Things Oprah should know about deaths on cruise ships & the evil cruise companies‏”

According to Chicago-based Best Travel, a cruise like the one Winfrey is taking her staff on costs about $5,400 a person. The billionaire employs more than 100 people at her Chicago based TV production company which recently featured an interview with the parents of missing toddler Madeleine McCann.

Eyes down for Tabloid Bingo – can you link a big news story to your vested interest?

Speaking of missing persons:
Since the year 2000, 116 cruise ship passengers have gone overboard.
http://www.cruisejunkie.com/Overboard.html

Anorak

Posted: 15th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (14)

Las Vegas Blogger Races To Puts On Concert In Michael Jackson’s Name

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: In which New York Times stringer and Danny Gans writer Steve Freiss prmotes Las Vegas Celebrates Michael Jackson,which he assures us is “dignified”.

Anorak’s Man in LA has the news:

The Las Vegas blogger, New York Times stringer, gay guide writer and noted comp queen who led the fight to prevent journalistic investigation of Danny Gans’ overdose death has moved quickly to be the first Sin City personality to capitalize on the tragic passing of Michael Jackson.

Steve Friess, who wrote earlier this month in the Las Vegas Weekly that “Michael Jackson’s untimely death was the best thing that could ever have happened to Michael Jackson’s music,” is producing and promoting a concert at the Palms Hotel & Casino on August 29th called “Las Vegas Celebrates Michael Jackson.”

Anorak

Posted: 15th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Big Brother Cashes In On Jade Goody

BIG Brother news is that Nasty Nick Bateman of Big Brother 1 repute has “pulled out of a guest turn on Big Brother at the last minute after hearing his fee would be donated to Jade Goody’s charity”.

That’s really nasty.

Big Brother producers have spent an age trying to manufacture a Jade Goody tribute for the show that introduced her to the voracious media. And now Nasty Nick’s gone and ruined it. Tsk!

Who was not hoping that Indian national Sree and the glamour models would trigger a tribute bout of tag-team racism to honour Jade? Would Graham Norton construct an entire post-show show about a contestant’s piggy face, touchingly provided in the form of Porky Pig masks for all housemates? Would everyone get naked, for Jade?

Anorak

Posted: 14th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Michael Jackson Didn’t Speak For A Month Before He Died

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Want to know what Michael Jackson’s last words were?

The Daily Star knows. The Daily Star was there. The Daily Star is OK!’s more uprmarket sister organ; and it was OK! that brought readers a picture of Jackson breathing his last, a shot for which it selflessly paid out $500,000. Only OK! cared enough to equip a picture of a dying man with the legend “IN LOVING MEMORY”.

Jackson was, of course, a great dad/ paedo/ entertainer/ joker / table-tennis player so let’s play along. Can you guess what Wako Jacko/ The King of Pop / The paedo gay tranny nutter’s last word’s were?

a) Maddie
b) Bubblezzzzz
c) Kiss me Lawrence
d) I foresee a great funeral contest over me
e) I am still alive!
f) Anorak. Old father.
g) It is one giant weep for one, and one giant weep for mankind

Anorak

Posted: 14th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)

Pictures Of Michael Jackson In Heaven

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: With Michael Jackson  died, entertaining this one, chasing that one, Next Nature blog wonders what Jackson looks like in Heaven?

What would the walking hall of mirrors look like in Heaven? And know that in Heaven, all cosmetic surgery work is undone.

Jackson is bigger in death than he was in life – literally.

Michael Jackson in Heaven – gallery:

Anorak

Posted: 13th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Michael Jackson’s Gay Lover Lawrence Tells All

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: In which Michael Jackson has a “string of gay lovers”.

Having heard from all of those who knew Michael Jackson intimately, and heard from those who never met him but felt as though they knew Michael Jackson intimately, we watch the Jackson narrative move into the deranged gay paedo stage.

The Sun: “MICHAEL Jackson had a string of gay lovers who he seduced by saying: “The King of Pop is going to lick your lollipop”, it was claimed last night.

A sensational new book rushed out in the wake of Jackson’s death insists “virtually everybody” around him knew he was gay.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (33)

Michael Jackson Murder: Killers Named

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: THE Daily Star has more on the Murder of Michael Jackson  and news that his murderers have been “named”.

Just yesterday, La Toya Jackson opined:

“I am going to get down to the bottom of this. I am not going to stop until I find out who is responsible.”

Has Officer Jackson of the Reality TV Corps of policing nailed the culprits? Is she to star in a new TV cop show, Jackson PI, Jackson or the catchier Jacko, perhaps playing the chalk to Paris Jackson’s cheese?

Anorak

Posted: 13th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (19)

Michael Jackson Murder: Officer La Toya Jackson Investigates

MICHAEL JACKSON Watch: La Toya Jackson emerges from the shadow of her huge funeral fedora to say that Michael Jackson was murdered by “a shadowy entourage” of hanger oners, a coterie of users and wannabes looking to cash in and get famous on Michael Jackson.

So says La Toya Jackson, who was not one of the Jackson five, and whose website leads with the legend:

“Michael, after 50 years of waiting, God has finally called you home to do what you do best.”

Other than being Michael Jackson’s sister, La Toya is famous for providing the opening scream on The Jackson’s 1980 hit This Place Hotel and backing vocals on Wacko Jacko’s Pretty Young Thing. She then on account of her vocal range posed for Playboy.

Anyhow back to what Michael does best:

And although she famously fell out with the Jackson clan in the Eighties over a book in which she described Michael as a paedophile…

Anorak

Posted: 12th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)

The Michael Jackson Thriller Vibrator

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: You’ve seen the tributes, you’ve witnessed the funeral (live!) and now relive the Thriller of Jackson in the privacy of your own sex club with the Michael Jackson vibrator.

Spotter and submitted by Catherine Grayson.

Other ways to commemorate Jackson hereunder – buy them all:

Anorak

Posted: 11th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (10)

The Michael Jackson Butter Cow

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: You’ve seen the tributes, you’ve witnessed the funeral (live!) and now news from the Iowa State Fair that Jackson is to commemorated as a butter statue:

The world-famous Iowa State Fair butter cow will share the spotlight this year with a salute to the late Michael Jackson. Both pieces will be on display in the Agriculture Building’s 40-degree cooler throughout the Fair, August 13-23.

Butter sculptor Sarah Pratt of West Des Moines plans to honor Jackson’s extensive contributions to the music and dance industries through a butter sculpture of the pop icon. This year’s butter bovine will be a jersey cow.

Anorak

Posted: 11th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Lady Gaga Is Madonna’s Camel

PICTURES of the manufactured Madonna-Bette Midler-Phantom-of-the-Opera hybrid Lady Gaga singing  at T in The Park confirm the impression that she goes to great lengths to hide her face.

Even her name suggests a self-mocking, yakking reference to her looks. (The Lady is not a parody but a moniker based on years observing Princess Diana and Sarah Ferguson.) Gaga is not so very hideous, far from it, but such the lust for the fanciability to go with the hits that she recognises her limitations.

Had Michael Jackson adopted the Gaga moves and look he would have surely saved himself a fortune on plastic surgery and masks.

Hereunder is a gallery of Lady Gaga, the Cyrano de Bergerac of performers. Or is she a pop star formed by committee, the proverbial camel’s hump to Madonna’s elephant? Or a camel’s face?

The gallery:

Anorak

Posted: 11th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

British Tabloids Confirm Michael Jackson Was Murdered

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Michael Jackson was murdered by a combination of Metadone and Demorol. Fact. Now read on…

THE Sun: “The Official Jackson File – Methadone and Demerol killed him”

The coroner’s reports is in?

MICHAEL Jackson had lethal levels of powerful painkiller Demerol and heroin substitute methadone in his body when he died, The Sun can reveal. Tests show the tragic star had taken a cocktail of drugs strong enough to have killed any normal person instantly.

So the Methedone and Demerol killed him, right? The Sun knows how Jackson died before the toxicology reports are even in. Big scoops all round. Right?

The shock findings are in preliminary toxicology reports submitted to the Los Angeles county coroner’s office.

Anorak

Posted: 11th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (22)

Murdered Honeymooners Used To Advertise US Web Company

THAT’S Ben and Catherine Mullany’s faces – they were murdered at their honeymoon holiday bungalow on Antigua last July – advertising as “happy customers” of MyDishBiz.

Ben and Catherine from Wales appear are now called “Frank and Mary from New York“. And they have a few words for you:

“We have made $1,080 alone with your MyDishBiz internet business opportunity.

“We are very happy with this program(corr). This is the best opportunity we’ve ever seen on line. Thanks again.”

Anorak

Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment (1)

A Close Study Of Obama Peek At Mayara Tavares’ Ass

AND so it goes. Barack Obama looks at a teenage Mayara Tavares’ backside and the media goes into overdrive.  The Obama Asscapades are upon us:

Gawker: “A Frame-by-Frame Analysis of Obama’s Alleged Ass-Peek”

At 0.8 seconds into the maneuver (the timestamps here are from ABC News video that was played in slow-motion, and don’t reflect that actual amount of time elapsed), a woman with an attreactive rear end (Woman B) begins to execute her own maneuver: She will step up to the level Obama and Woman A are stepping down from, in the process rotating her body in such a way that exposes her ass to Obama’s field of vision. In this frame, Obama has completed his step down, but his back is to Woman A. So he begins the process of rotating his body toward her so as to offer her his hand. But–and this is crucial–he begins that rotation with his head. Here, he has begun swiveling it to the right. Also crucial: Woman B was not in Obama’s field of vision prior to the initiation of his head-turn–in other words, he could not have begun turning his head to get a better look.

Kos: Obama looks

If you happen to go to the drudge report, you will see that photo of President Obama looking at that girl’s ass. Those responsible for drudge even researched and found out the girl he was apparently looking at was 16 years old.

Mofo Politics: “Obama stares at 16-year-old Mayara Tavares’ butt”

Mayara Tavares is 16 and lives in the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She inherited from her grandmother and father a passion to take part in community action and social movements and has been an activist in her community fighting for children and adolescent rights. She has recently acted as a community researcher interviewing other adolescents in the community about their lives and how it feels for them to be growing up in the shantytowns of Rio de Janeiro. Through this work she became part of a National Platform for the improvement of poor communities situated in large urban centers, an initiative carried out by UNICEF in Brazil. She also became a member of the Youth Forum in her municipality and hopes that she can continue to engage her peers in this work.

Founding Bloggers:

The First Lady isn’t going to take this sitting down, and Matt Drudge can shred his invite to the next White House correspondent’s dinner!

News Busters:

For general discussion and debate. Possible talking point: Did Obama get caught ogling a sixteen-year-old…or not? You decide.

Talking Ponts Memo

Animal agrees. He disagrees. He loves Obama for it – “that’s how real Obama is”. Techbanyan sees an “ogle” and a”leer”.

Rude Pundit:

The response of some on the right is an ejaculatory spray of spooge as if Matt Drudge just got a picture of Barack Obama getting a blumpkin from a tranny whore in the men’s room of the Buenos Aires airport (or, for Drudge, “Tuesdays”). Over at Ann Althouse’s joint, there’s a post that’s gotta be a parody, for if it is not, then an “Althouse” must be “a place where people never get laid,” for she details a comparison of the body language of Obama and Sarkozy that says, “The foot closest to the woman, like Sarkozy’s, is planted and aimed forward, but the other steps off in the direction of the woman, bending the knee upward into a bit of a crotch-squeeze and forming the base of a dramatic tilt of the entire body into a flexible S-shape that leans toward the woman.”

Althouse:

Yes, I have seen the video, and I stand by my analysis of the still photograph.

Hot Air:

GMA analyzed the tape as if it were a Zapruder film of bootyliciousness and concluded that the video clearly shows Obama wasn’t checking out the girl’s butt (they also don’t think he’s a socialist, so take that for what it’s worth) — however, the experienced male glancer will tell you that you always have a “plan B” in case you’re caught looking and need to make it like you were focusing on something else, so who knows.

Those Gawker images:

Anorak

Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (5)

Buy Michael Jackson’s Moonwalk Shoes For $21million

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: This is your opportunity to own those famous “Moonwalker” Shoes With Handmade Custom Display Case,” as worn by the legendary stage rambler.

The case brings to mind Jermey Bentham’s Auto-icon – philosopher whose body sits preserved and in a wooden cabinet (the “Auto-icon”)  on public display at the end of the South Cloisters in the main building of the University College London.

Given the skin tones, with a decent wig and coin-slot operated sound track Bentham could pass for Jackson.

Says the blurb for the Jackson Moonwalk moonboots:

Both Shoes Autographed On The Leather Soles “Love..Michael Jackson”

Excerpt from the included Certificate of Authenticity;

“c.1980’s. A combination of concert footage from locations around the world and fantasy segments starring Jackson comprise the plot of “Moonwalker“. These shoes were worn onstage by Jackson during segments featured in the 1988 film. The two-toned, black and white dancing shoes feature velcro fasteners beneath the buttons. Signed in black marker, “Love…Michael Jackson” on the leather soles of both shoes. The winning bidder will, undoubtedly, be the first on the block to own a pair of Michael Jackson stage-worn shoes…a world-class item of memorabilia from the originator of the “moonwalk”.”

Beautiful handmade lighted display case featuring built in TV screen the plays the Moonwalker movie or your favorite Michael Jackson DVD (Moonwalker on DVD and VHS Included). Custom made by professional wood crafter to display these shoes, ready for display at your home.

A portion of the net proceeds will be going to charities devoted to helping children.

Celebrate the King of Pop and own part of his legacy.

$21,000,000.00 for the pair

or

$11,000,000.00 per shoe

Serious offers will be considered.

Display Case and Shoes will be Shipped Separately!

Anorak

Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

The Best And Worst Michael Jackson Tributes

MICHAEL Jackson Watch – Anorak presents the best and worst Michael Jackson tributes:

First up, it’s Swedish dance group Bounce tribute MJ with a flash mob to Beat It.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Pictures Of Alien Spotted At Michael Jackson Funeral

Alien Spotted At Michael Jackson Funeral.

YOU’VE seen the pictures from the Michael Jackson funeral extravaganza. You read the views about the “macabre“, “sicko“, “freak” show. You bought the gold-rimmed plate. Now wonder who was that man who mounted the stage to lead off the singing of We Are The World?

Now know that an alien was seen at the Staples Centre.

Anroak’s Man in LA appeared to be “the extraterrestrial alien visitor Michael Jackson attempted to turn himself into. With his doe eyes, deer-in-the-headlights expression and reptile skin jacket, he could have come from the Black Lagoon.”

Apologies for missing the shocking news earlier. We, like you, were distracted by these images:

Anorak

Posted: 9th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (26)

Michael Jackson Plate With Gold Rimming

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Michael Jackson Commemorative Memorabilia Gallery and other shameless profiteering from a man’s death:

Celebrating the life of a legend; Michael Jackson: The King Of Pop, A Lifetime Of Achievement Plaque, adorned with iconic imagery and luxurious 22-carat gold rimming.

Anorak

Posted: 8th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Michael Jackson Funeral In Pictures

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak will be – irony of ironies – live blogging the Michael Jackson funeral in picures and some words – book now to ensure disappointment.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comments (17)

Michael Jackson Stole Elizabeth Taylor’s Funeral

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: When Princess Diana died, the Queen Mother was reported to have opined: “She’s got my funeral.”

What price that Jackson would shuffle off before Elizabeth Taylor, a woman who is now saying she won’t attend. The is too mich “whoopla”.

And as any Hollywood legend knows, you can have too much Woopla.

Cue the pall beareres:

Anorak

Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Michael Jackson Joined The Raelians And Wanted Shaheen Jafargholi

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Millions expected in LA to check that Jackson is dead; Elizabeth Taylor refuses to attend; Shaheen Jafargholi is to be cloned; and Jackson joined the Raelians…

The Sun: “Shaheen Sings for Jacko – Boy, 12, joins Wonder, Carey and Usher”

The Boy Wonder. He’s 12. It’s OK, Shaheen, Jackson’s dead. That can of coke will taste exactly as you’d expect, no top notes of claret and base notes of soapy suds.

BRITAIN’S Got Talent schoolboy Shaheen Jafargholi is sensationally set to sing today at Michael Jackson’s memorial. The stunned 12-year-old, of Swansea, was invited by the Jackson family, who told him the King of Pop was a huge fan of his Jacko tribute act.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Jordy Chandler Killed Michael Jackson In 1993

Jordy Chandler Killed Michael Jackson In 1993.

SHOCKS aplenty that Michael Jackson not only lived to reach 50 and never collapsed into his every growing chin dimple, but that he should survive heinous charges levelled against him that were never proven and continue to dog tributes to his achievements.

Do we remember the Jackson of song and dance, or the older Jackson, the walking hall of mirrors that presented impersonators with a moving target and tabloids with an easy one?

Jordy Chandler

Still no word from Jordy Chandler, the boy who told police that Jackson was a sexual predator, and whose claims were left unchallenged in court when Jackson’s gave him $25 million to go away, a move that did Jackson no favours.

Anorak

Posted: 6th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Michael Jackson Funeral Schedule And Concert Details

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Win a ticket for Michael Jackson’s funeral; Jackson was killed by his debts; and funeral schedule in full…

The Sun: “TOUTRAGE – Fury as ticket lotto winner fleece the fans”

It’s “TOUT OF ORDER”

Anorak agrees – anyone who secured a ticket to the big Jackson sing off should be made to attend. It’s what Jackson would have wanted.

One seller out to make a killing crowed he bagged FIVE for the glitzy 10am memorial show in Los Angeles, which will follow the 8am private family funeral.

Jackson Five? What are the odds?

Metro: “Jackson memorial – the Lucky 8,750 fans are chosen”

The chosen few.

Daily Star: “JACKO FUNERAL: RIOT COPTS ON ALERT”

Anorak

Posted: 6th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)

Michael Jackson’s Nose Is Missing

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Jackson “molested at least ten boys”, will be buried without his brain, and rumours that his nose is missing.

NOTW: Michael Jackson locked boys in his bedroom and fed wine from babies’ bottles

MICHAEL Jackson’s former housekeeper today reveals how the star would lock boys in his bedroom for days, plying them with booze before sexually abusing them.

Adrian McManus also told the News of the World he even issued veiled DEATH THREATS to his staff to STOP them telling cops about it.

Adrian McManus..? Oh her:

Under cross-examination she said she had lied in a 1993 court deposition when she reported she had not seen any inappropriate behaviour by Mr Jackson at Neverland. She claimed Mr Jackson threatened to report her to her superiors.

Defence lawyer Thomas Mesereau pointed out Ms McManus was part of the lawsuit filed against Mr Jackson for unlawful dismissal, which was thrown out for being fraudulent and malicious.

Anorak

Posted: 5th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)