Key Posts Category
Tom Cruise Proves Study Technology: Video
TOM Cruise. If Tom Crusie were British, and living in the UK, would he expect to get away with this tribute to “study technology?”
Yes. He would have been Tony’s Blair’s Study Technology Tsar. His tapes would be on Gordon Brown’s expense account.
Maggie Thatcher would have taken him outside and have had him shot.
We go off on a tangent. No matter, because Cruise is talking to Scientology peoples, and it’s all tangents.
Take it – and maybe him – away:
Tom Cruise speaking about Study Technology
Posted: 9th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (10)
Man Gives Birth To Twin Brother
GAVIN Hyatt, 30, has given birth to his twin.
We join the action as Gavin walks into his doctor’s surgery bleeding from his belly button.
GP Dr Joe Santos:
“It was like something from Alien. I didn’t believe Gavin when he said something was coming out of his belly button until I saw him.”
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Posted: 9th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Britain’s Got Talent: Thomas Herron, Greg Pritchard And Pole Dancers
ANOTHER weekend of Britain’s Got Talent, and with it news of Thomas Herron, a five–year-old magician who “sings like a woman”.
Thomas performed a disappearing act set to the music of the Crazy Frog ring tone.
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Posted: 9th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Dick Cheney Got A Child And Missed The Draft
DICK Cheney’s first daughter, “Elizabeth, was born 9 months and 2 days after the Selective Service System announced that childless married men were to be drafted.” Paul Walker notes:
A new study by Andrea Kutinova (now Menclova-she is the nice one down this end of the corridor!) looks at the incentive effects caused by the fact that you could get out of the Vietnam draft in the US if you had family responsibilities. Andrea shows the results of the deferment on paternity timing: it turns out that the threat of being sent to war and the option to stay home if you’ve family responsibilities provides an incentive to speed up family formation.
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Posted: 8th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
Susan Boyle Secret Picture Gallery
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s looks at Britain’s Got Talent agonist Susan Boyle in the news – with her secret picture gallery…
Posted: 8th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comments (8)
Susan Boyle Presents The X Factor
HATS off to X Factor host Dermot O’Leary for promoting his talentless fest by way of Susan Boyle, of Britain’s Got Talent fame.
The Sun hears “straight-talking O’Leary” literally opine:
“I’d like to think Susan would have been a success on X Factor, but in reality it’s most likely she wouldn’t have. Sure, she has a great voice but she’d probably struggle with the dancing and the variety of songs contestants have to sing.”
Variety is O’Leary’s byword, literally. He is literally right, and literally – can you believe it?! – fronting a show that has produced such luminary and varied talents as Steve Brookstein, Shayne Ward, Leon Jackson and Alexandra Burke (all show winners).
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Posted: 8th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Pictures Of All The Madeleine McCann Suspects
MADELEINE McCann Watch: In which Anorak looks at the efits and suspects so far…
The Spotty Weirdo
Posted: 7th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (52)
Madeleine McCann: The Story In Pictures
MADELEINE MCCANN – ever since Madeleine McCann went missing and the single thread story began to be spun by a voracious media, taken up by a mawkish commentariat and vain MPs, enjoyed by armchair detectives and turned into a public spectacle, Anorak has followed the story of the girl who became the media’s Our Maddie.
We now bring you the Madeleine McCann story in pictures:
Posted: 7th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (15)
Britain’s Got Talent: Jamie Pugh Attacked
JAMIE Pugh is the latest wannabe of average talent to wow the judges on Britain’s Got Talent, the show that shocks and amazes people as no show has shocked and amazed people. Ever!
Other than the shocking and amazing news, which features clips from Britain’s Got Talent among clips of bodies in pieces and the weather to tell the story.
We’ve had the good and the ugly (Susan Boyle), so now we get the bad (Jamie Pugh).
Today Jamie Pugh is being patronised, sorry, “EXPOSED” by the Daily Mail, which thunders:
Exposed: Britain’s Got Talent star Jamie Pugh has already performed in the West End
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Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Connie Culp: Face Transplant Pictures And Video
CONNIE Culp, 46, was shot by her husband in 2004. She was left without a nose, a palate or lower eyelids.
She has now undergone surgery to give her a new face – a face left by a donor.
This is what cosmetic surgery can achieve.
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Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (8)
Madeleine McCann: Oprah Winfrey Community Blames McCanns
MADELEINE McCann Watch: Introducing Daniel Morcombe and Oprah’s online community point the finger at the McCanns…
Brisbane Times: “’Keep searching’ Morcombes tell McCanns”
The disappearances of Sunshine Coast teenager Daniel Morcombe and British toddler Madeleine McCann, who vanished in completely different circumstances and different time zones, have drawn together families both desperate for closure…
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Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (40)
X-Ray Of Concrete Enema Poured Up Man’s Anus
CONTINUING Anorak’s look at X-Rays and things on the inside that should remain on the outside, we bring you news of the man who poured a concrete emema up his anus – and left it to set:
This article describes an unusual rectal foreign body resulting from homosexual anal erotic activities. The patient had used an enema containing a concrete mix which became impacted and required surgical removal. The use, abuse, and complications of enemas are reviewed.
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Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (6)
Jennifer Aniston Brings Beckham To Her Senses
“SKINNY is over!” announces heat magazine. And to prove how over skinny is, Jennifer Aniston has “put on half a stone”, “Posh bulks up at gym!” and Hello! magazine comes equipped with a bar of KitKat senses.
Unwrap your finger of chocolate, and marvel at how Jennifer Aniston has gained half a stone since she split from John Mayer.
Jens looks a “far cry from the shots we’re used to seeing of her on the beech with her trademark toned tummy and tony waist.”
A “far cry” – or a good cry?
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Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Swine Flu: Spread By Flies
SWINE Flu Watch: Top Tips in the Huffington Post and an attack on a Suffolk school
Kim Evans has some top tips for readers of the Huffington Post.
In Swine Flu: Protect Yourself and Loved Ones Kim advises how to ignore the cries for help from neighbours and save yourself:
The swine flu is very unfortunately upon us, and if you’re like many, you’re asking yourself what you can do to protect yourself and your loved ones. Some very standard things apply:
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Posted: 4th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
Madeleine McCann: Kate McCann’s ‘Life Sentence’
MADELEINE McCann Watch: In which Our Maddie on on the telly and forgets her name…
Daily Mirror: “KATE AND GERRY: IT’S A LIFE SENTENCE – Hunt for Madeleine will never end”
Well, surely it will end when she is found?
Rod Chaytor has the front-page “exclusive”.
Kate and Gerry McCann are doomed to spend a lifetime hunting for their missing daughter Madeleine, a friend revealed yesterday.
The friend is…
Film director Emma Loach, who spent eight weeks with the couple for a new TV documentary, says they will never give up.
Emma Loach whose work will be broadcast on Channel 4. Does the subject matter influence the PR?
Says Emma:
“This is a life sentence for them. They will never be able to move on and the deep scar will not heal until they have an answer… either Maddy comes home or they know what happened to her.”
So not what the Mirror’s headline said. The hunt will end when the child is found. And as for that “exclusive”? Well, Anorak readers read that yesterday…
Such are the facts.
In other facts, the Mail and Sun hear from Professor David Canter:
The Mail delivers:
Madeleine McCann may have forgotten who she was, claims top criminal expert – Madeleine McCann may not remember who she is two years on from vanishing during a family holiday to Portugal, a British crime expert believes.
More facts?
The British girl, just three when she disappeared, could have a new identity and speak a different language, according to the top criminologist…
‘You could call out Madeleine to her and she wouldn’t respond. She doesn’t remember being that child,’ he said.
Professor Canter said Maddie could be anywhere in the world, speaking a different language and looking completely different to how we know her.
We’ve heard from Professor Canter before:
DAILY MAIL front page: “Five top British crime experts went to Portugal to examine the Maddie case. What is their verdict…?”
A verdict? No body. No arrest made. No court case. Just a verdict. And from “crime experts”…
Pages 18 and 19: “THE MADDIE FILES – Five of Britain’s top crime experts were sent to Portugal to give their verdicts on the McCann case. Here they reveal their deeply disturbing conclusions…”
Who sent these sleuths? The British police? Richard Branson? The Pope? No – Channel 4’s Dispatches. The Madeleine McCann mystery is a media circus, so what more fitting than the TV as a courtroom and arbiter of justice?
The Mail’s Roger Graef presides. He says that under Portuguese law, the age of consent is 13 (“between couples of the same age”). It’s not, yer honour. It is 14. “Portugal has many more paedophiles than it cares to admit.” How many? We do not know. It pains Graef to divulge the hideous details. But there have been two cases of child abduction in the past 15 years over there
The crackers are THE CRIMINAL PROFILER (David Canter), THE SEARCH EXPERT (Gary Lig), THE FORENSIC ANALYST (David Barclay), THE SOHAM DETECTIVE (Chris Stevenson) and THE MEDIA HANDLER (Matt Tapp).
They unearth no new clues, no new evidence, no new ideas. But they get to be on the telly and in the papers. And then they return to the UK to crack other cases, like the murder of Rhys Jones, the whereabouts of Suzy Lamplugh, the capture of Osama bin Laden, the wheabout of the UK’s most wanted Paul Bures “wanted in relation to multiple charges of Rape and Sexual assault on male children aged 13-16 years. He currently resides in Spain”) and…
Madeleine McCann is missing – but if you wait long enough the story will roll around again…
Two years of news here.
Posted: 4th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (26)
Britain’s Got Talent: Jamie Pugh Beat The Boyle
JAMIE PUGH is the latest Britain’s Got Talent singer to show that you can have a beard and a large chest and still sing a dirge from Les Miserables.
Very soon Les Miserables – Pugh, Boyle and many more – will form a group and tour the country enthralling the Miserabilists (fans) with feelings of inadequacy, fear and unhappiness.
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Posted: 4th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Susan Boyle To Tour Australia And US
SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Susan appears on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
“HAIRY ANGEL IN THE JUNGLE – Susan Boyle to Star in I’m A Celebrity.”
So announces the Daily Star.
HAIRY Angel Susan Boyle could soon be going ape as she is being lined up for jungle fun on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
So says the Daily star in more circumspect fashion than that headline statement of fact. But what of singing simian Susan?
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Posted: 4th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Perez Hilton Cannot Be Satirized
PEREZ Hilton, the celebrity blogger gone native, says the National Organization for Marriage’s video featuring his words on pneumatic Miss California Carrie Prejean is a breach of copyright.
To recap: Prejean voiced a belief in marriage being boy-girl, and in a triumph for free speech Hilton called her a bitch and threatened to mug her.
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Posted: 3rd, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Swine Flu Picture Gallery
SWINE Flu is upon humanity and Anorak has been looking at the evidence as to who is behind the killer disease.
Our pictorial investigation follows:
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Posted: 3rd, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism, Reviews | Comments (3)
Swine Flu: The Man Boobs Pandemic
“SWINE Flu Now Confirmed Across British Isles,” screams Sky News.
And with that the UK turns a vivid orange colour on the big Swine Flu Map. When the map turns red it mean you’re all f***ed. So stay tuned.
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Posted: 3rd, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (5)
Madeleine McCann:Tunnels Under Praia And A New Theory
MADELEINE McCann: Hidden in tunnels, alive in America and a new theory…
Daily Express (front page): “MADDIE: DID SHE VANISH IN MAZE OF TUNNELS?”
Dunno? Did she?
“TUNNELS BENEATH RESORT MAY BE CLUE TO MYSTERY”
James Murray investigates a phone call:
Secret tunnels beneath the Portuguese seaside town where Madeleine McCann vanished two years ago today may hold the key to her disappearance.
The tunnels, dating back to Roman times, have never been thoroughly searched, despite repeated requests.
Documents in Portuguese police files, published today for the first time, suggest a vital line of inquiry was ignored and have led to fresh calls for a proper investigation into the tunnels…
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Posted: 3rd, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (31)
Police Release Madeleine McCann Picture Gallery
AS predicted Madeleine McCann occupies her customary position on the cover of the Daily Express. We are in for a summer of Maddie Spotting.
This is an artist’s impression of how Our Maddie might look aged 6.
The same picture is on the covers of the Daily Star, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror – “image of how she looks now” – and the Sun.
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Posted: 2nd, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (7)
The Swine Flu, 9/11, Global Warming Colouring Book: In Pictures
YOU’VE seen the TV pictures. You’ve read the news. Now enjoy the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s children’s colouring book, featuring drawings of the September 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and YOUR response to any media scare story that’s scaring you shitless.
Choose from:
Terror
Paedos
Ebola
Swine Flu
Global Warming
Ends Days
“Them”
… And lots more horrific things you’ve yet to read about!
Only two colours needed: blood red and eternal darkness black.
The following images are from a book, entitled ‘A Scary Thing Happened‘, which aims to help the little loves “cope with disasters”.
It is the work of the Freeborn County Crisis Response Team and illustrated by Marlys Jentoft, a 68-year-old grandmother of 10.
What’s your best pic? (The book has been removed from FEMA’s website.)
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Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (7)
Kate McCann Cries On Oprah Show: Pictures
FOR two years Anorak has brought you news of Madeleine McCann.
Or, rather, we have brought you no news other than one single thread: she is missing.
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Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (14)
Baron-Cohen’s Bruno Fools Amercian Idol’s Paula Abdul
AMERICAN Idol’s in-house cheerleader Paula Abdul says she was fooled by Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno character.
Abdul recalls how she was told she had won an award in Germany and was interviewed by Bruno.
What award she does not say, but rumours are of her being in the running for such gongs as Making Simon Cowell Look Good Award, Services To Hand-Clapping and Most Encouraging Use Of Sequins.
Says she:
“At 2 in the morning, I woke up in a sweat and I went: ‘Oh my God’ And I’m dying, because you don’t expect it.”
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Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
