Natasha Richardson Talk And Deteriorate

WE interrupt this transmission of CCN (the web’s rolling Celebrity Cancer News channel – Jade Goody special tonite) to bring news of Natasha Richardson, the actress, who has been diagnosed by a doctor on the telly as suffering from “talk and deteriorate“, possibly.

Dr Steven Flanagan, director of Rusk Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine at New York University, tells FoxNews.com.

“I can only speculate, but… what this implies is that someone hits their head and they are seemingly OK initially. Then they get a rapid collection of blood – usually called epidural haemorrhage – and that means bleeding between the skull and the brain.”

Anorak

Posted: 18th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)

AIG Recruits Che Guevara

AIG has made its demands known – unless bonuses are paid in full than something bad might happen to you one day. It’s best to be sure so pay up without delay.

Protection is all. Do we understand each other?

In the spirit of achiveing a mutal understanding, AIG has now recruited Che Guevara to run its financial products division.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment (1)

Jade Goody Writes Cancer Book

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s celebrity cancer with the last party, still no Shilpa Shetty and …

Daily Mirror: “Jack’s Her Rock”

Surely if anyone is the pumice-like Paul Burrell to Jade’s Diana it is Max Clifford. Jack would be… Dodi?

Supporters gathered outside Jade’s house yesterday. Jenny Berk, 23, from Upshire, said: “I know we can’t make a difference but we just wanted to show we care by making the effort to be here. We are just hoping and praying for a miracle.”

Our Maid Of Hearts.

Meanwhile, publisher Harper Collins revealed that the third and final instalment of Jade’s autobiography will be called Forever In My Heart.

The Sun: “One last party”

See:

Jade’s last interview, Jade’s last wedding, Jade’s last dress, Jade’s last fight, Jade’s last slice of toast, Jade’s last Christening, Jade’s last party, Jade’s Last Rites; Jade’s last view and Jade’s last breath.

Make that one more last party…

She shouted on Monday evening: “Everyone go and get ready — we’ll have one big last party tonight. Can everyone please put a big f*****g smile on their face! Mum — you’re gonna need more make-up!”

The Mail:

She has barely regained consciousness since falling into a deep sleep on Sunday evening and remains heavily sedated, according to friends…

Waking to shout and swear about a paaaarrrrty?

Her publicist Max Clifford said: “She’s been sleeping. I understand that will get deeper.”

Sky News: “Jade Signs Cancer Battle Book Deal”

Jade Goody’s final months as she battled with terminal cancer are to be detailed in a new book.

The book, entitled “Forever in My Heart”, is described by publishers as a “modern day parable”. It will be written as a “love letter” to Goody’s two young sons, Bobby, five and Freddie, four.

Written by whom? Who loves the boys as much as their mum?

Belinda Budge, the managing director of HarperNon-Fiction said: “This is Jade in her own words. It is impossible not to be moved by her heart-warming voice which comes through loud and clear on every page of this last diary. This emotional book tells a fascinating story of our time, a story of a woman who rose to fame as a controversial reality TV star and has now won admiration in the eyes of many for the fortitude with which she is facing terminal cancer.”

Jade Goody did not choose to get ill with cancer; just as Princess Diana did not choose to die in a car crash. Diana didn’t buckle up. Jade is a victim of hard luck.

Daily Star: “JADE: SHILPA JETS IN TO SAY GOODBYE”

Bollywood babe Shilpa Shetty has dashed thousands of miles to the UK to keep her promise to say goodbye to her friend Jade Goody.

The star, who has forgiven Jade, 27, for race jibes including her “Shilpa Poppadom” quip, confessed yesterday: “I really feel terrible about what has happened to her.

“All I can do is pray. I’m not giving up hope of seeing her one last time.”

The quip that led to Jade leaving the Big Brother house under a blanket in the dead of night? Here comes “Shilpa F**kawallah“.

Masala.com: “Jade Goody too ill for last goodbye”

OK!: “Jade’s Early Mother’s Day”

Sons gathering around their moms on Mother’s Day is a common and much-loved family tradition.

Unless you have daughter, or grown-up sons who forget, or – as Jeremy Kyle shows – are on drugs or glue or in jail…

When Freddy asked his mom why she looked so drowsy, Jade replied, “Because the angels are calling for Mommy.”

Stv.tv: “Jade ordeal could help kids grieve”

The plight of Jade Goody, the terminally ill reality TV star, has highlighted the need to help children prepare for the death of a loved one, according to a psychologist.

Show me the money!

Cynthia McVey, head of psychology at Glasgow Caledonian University, thinks that her tragic and very public demise could result in more being done to aid children through the grieving process.

“She’s done a great deal I think in many ways in helping people realise that you can prepare children for somebody dying,” said McVey.

See headlines such as “I’d don’t want the boys to know”; “The boys can’t know I’m dying”; and “I can’t tell the boys”.

Gawker: “OK! Magazine Murders Jade Goody”

Gawker spots our story.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)

OK! Pronounces Jade Goody Dead

JADE Goody is not dead. Jade Goody has not died. We have seen many lasts –

Jade’s last interview, Jade’s last wedding, Jade’s last dress, Jade’s last fight, Jade’s last slice of toast, Jade’s last Christening, Jade’s last party, Jade’s Last Rites and now we have Jade’s last view…

– but OK! is all about firsts.

And it brings readers the official “TRIBUTE ISSUE – 1980 -2009.”

Anorak

Posted: 17th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (58)

Amy Winehouse Serenades Jade Goody

AMY Winehouse has been away. No, not collared by the Celebrity Police Service. Winehouse has been away in the Caribbean.

While you were watching Jade Goody, Winehouse returned to Blighty, to shows Brits what we’ve been missing by pleading not guilty to assaulting a dancer called Sherene Flash in central London last year.

It is rumoured that after the alleged offence, Wino did then fall to the floor performing her trademark impression of a hairdressing junior’s sweepings and screamed Blaaaaake.

Winehouse appeared at Westminster magistrates court to deny the charge. The press looks at the case of Amy Jade Civil. She pleads: not guilty.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (8)

Jade Goody’s Last Words

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s celebrity cancer with the Last Rites Video, no Shilpa Shetty and the last words…

The Sun: “JADE: Don’t let my sons see me die”

Turn off the telly. Stop the cameras. Hide the control for the Sky Plus.

The Sun: “Dying Jade: ‘I Hope I Gave You A Laugh’”

The Sun: “Jade’s last look at sunny fields”

JADE Goody was propped up in bed yesterday — to catch one last glimpse of the sun-kissed fields before she dies.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (45)

Missing Madeleine McCann On BBC Daytime TV Show

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

Daily Record: “Quirke Start To A Mid-Life Crisis”

THE BBC’s new entertainment show Missing is on daytime telly. Quirk plays “DS Mary Jane Croft, a charismatic detective who runs an under-resourced department. The drama, set in a busy Missing Persons Unit, sees staff race against time to save people who are at risk.”

“But I’m pleased I’ve filmed the series. It’s entertainment – I wouldn’t claim it to be anything else – but you never know, do you? Somebody who has had a fall-out with their family and has gone missing may see the show, feel a pang of conscience and get in touch with relatives who are worried sick about what has happened to them.”

Pauline is relieved to report nobody has ever gone missing from her own family – husband Steve Sheen and children Emily, 24, and Charlie, 14.

Phew!

She says: “I can, truly, think of nothing worse than missing a child and for that uncertainty to continue – as it has for the parents of Madeleine McCann – must be unbearable.

Fact and fiction – can you spot the difference?

The Herald: “Body discovered in loch believed to be missing Uist cadet”

The mysterious disappearance had haunted the island community since Christmas, but it now looks as if the long search for a 21-year-old merchant navy cadet who went missing almost three months ago is at an end.

The people of South Uist have been looking for Simon MacMillan since he vanished in the early hours of Boxing Day in the township of Linique in the Iochdar area of the island…

A group of locals discovered a body at around 10.30am yesterday in Loch Bee, just south of the road between Linique and Mr MacMillan’s home in Ardmore.

And context?

Northern Constabulary brought in Mark Harrison, the national search adviser to the National Policing Improvement Agency, who was also involved in the search for Madeleine McCann.

Is Our Maddy on your CV?

The Scotsman:

However, after police drew a blank, an expert who had reviewed the hunt for Madeleine McCann was called in to help develop new leads.

The Times:

Local police also recruited Mark Harrison, the national search adviser to the National Policing Improvement Agency, who had previously worked with West Midlands police following the disappearance of Madeleine McCann.

The Guardian: “PCC targets Sunday Express over Dunblane allegations”

The Press Complaints Commission has launched an investigation after the Scottish edition of the Sunday Express ran a front page story alleging survivors of the Dunblane massacre “shamed” the memory of their dead friends by boasting about drunken nights out on social networking websites.

The article, titled “Anniversary shame of Dunblane: internet boasts of sex, drink and violence as youngsters hit 18” appeared on March 8. It claimed that a number of the those who witnessed the massacre first-hand had “posted shocking blogs and photographs of themselves on the internet, 13 years after being sheltered from public view in the aftermath of the atrocity”.

Sixteen children and their teacher were murdered when gunman Thomas Hamilton burst into the gym at Dunblane Primary School and opened fire on March 13 1996. Hamilton then turned the gun on himself.

Children of Dunblane Horror Grow Up Normally – read all about it!

And:

The editor of the Daily Express, Peter Hill, left the board of the PCC last year following front page and high court apologies from Express Newspapers titles the Daily Express, Daily Star, Sunday Express and Daily Star Sunday over a string of false stories about the disappearance of four-year-old Madeline McCann, which resulted in payments of £550,000 in damages to the McCann family.

Never let her lie…

Anorak

Posted: 16th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (27)

Jade Goody Given Last Rites

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s celebrity cancer with the Last Rites, Freddy’s first deal and Shilpa…

Daily Mirror: “JADE’S FINAL HOURS – She smiles at two boys on last day together”

A 24-hours smile.

Star spends final hours listening to sons’ playing and laughing in garden with family.

Smile turns to laughter.

But the strain was too much for Jackiey, who cradled her head in her hands as she was momentarily overwhelmed by sorrow. She said: “It’s not day by day now. It’s more like hour by hour. I’m stronger than Jack at the moment and Kevin is stronger than me. Together we’ve built a strong community to cope with it.”

Anorak

Posted: 16th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (56)

Iraqi Footballer Shot Dead By Fan

TO the match between Sinjar and Buhayra, two Iraqi football teams. The striker is shot dead by a fan.

Reports The Herald Sun:

AN Iraqi footballer was killed by a stray bullet when one of his team’s supporters fired off several rounds to celebrate their victory, police said.

The game had just ended in a 1-0 home win for Annana over Sinjar, neighbouring village teams west of Hilla city, police lieutenant Ali al-Khafaji said.

“A stray bullet hit Annana player Haider Hakem in the chest and he died,” Lieut Khafaji said.

Police arrested the suspected killer from Annana, a rural settlement near Hilla, 120km south of Baghdad. Fans often launch into a blaze of triumphal gunfire in Iraq when major league teams clash.

Or as the BBC puts it:

An Iraqi football player has been shot dead by a spectator as he was about to score an equalising goal.

The shooting happened in the last minute of a game between two local rivals on Sunday, police say

The sooner we gave goal line cameras, the better…

Anorak

Posted: 15th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)

The Jade Goody Vending Machine

GOOD news for those of you who missed out on Kerry Katona’s breast, and you Jade Goody fans hoping to bag her official remains in a Max Clifford “Goody Bag” .

Introducing the Kerry Katona breast vending machine.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comment (1)

Kerry Katona Milked And Bled Dry

KERRY Katona is divorcing Mark Croft. She’s looking for her money, which – get this – she might have spent.

Kerry is starring in a new fly-in-the-sink show. Now read on…

Anorak

Posted: 15th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)

Jade Goody’s EastEnders Funeral

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Jade performs a Marilyn Monroe tribute.

News of The World :”Jade: hours form death.”

Daily Star: “JADE’S FINAL HOURS.”

The People: “Jade Goody to have funeral fit for Cockney ‘royalty’ – TV funeral firm plans a farewell that’s like scene from EastEnder”

A fight, a cliffhanger and a punch up with local villains with pool balls in socks?

Fact and fiction is the new reality. It’s the Jade Goody omnibus:

Jade will have a funeral fit for Cockney “royalty” with thousands of fans paying homage to the Big Brother star. Undertakers featured in ITV1 documentary Don’t Drop The Coffin have everything planned for her last journey.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (65)

Jade Goody Wills It

JADE Goody celebrity cancer – Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody in the news. Jade is on the “edge of a precipice”.

Digital Spy: “Jade Goody’s spirits have been lifted by the recent success of her Living TV show, her spokesman has confirmed.”

Buy Jade now! Closing down sale now on!

Coverage of the star’s wedding preparations attracted 789k viewers on Wednesday night, while footage of the ceremony itself pulled in 771k the following night.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (11)

Burn A Green Shirt For Earth Hour

IT’S almost time for Earth Hour, when we turn off the lights, the life support system and the oven and return to the Dark Ages to prove how far we have come.

THERE was a buzz around Roy Merrington’s beeswax candles this time last year. As millions of Melburnians prepared to switch off lights for Earth Hour, close to 10,000 candles were ordered from his Caulfield business. A year on, the rush for wax seems to have waned.

“I would like to think we would do the same (trade), but we will probably do half that,” he told The Age this week. “People’s attention is elsewhere …” 

Anorak

Posted: 14th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Jade Goody’s Last Party

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Jade performs a Marilyn Monroe tribute.

Daily Star: “JADE’S FINAL PARTY”

After Jade’s last interview, Jade’s last wedding, Jade’s last dress, Jade’s last fight, Jade’s last slice of toast and Jade’s last Christening, we have:

DYING Jade Goody is celebrating what is feared will be her last weekend with a big “farewell party.”

Visitors flocked to her bedside yesterday and many more will be back today and tomorrow.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (36)

Sentenced For Viewing Simpsons And Pokemon Cartoon Porn

TO Australia, where Glenn Phillip McGuire is pleading guilty to possessing child pornography, specifically naked characters from The Simpsons and Pokemon performing sex acts on each other.

Like this blast of Olympic-standard oral sex from Lisa Simpson.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Marilyn Monroe Was America’s Jade Goody

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Jade performs a Marilyn Monroe tribute.

Monroe was America’s Jade Goody.

Glasgow Daily Record: “Jade Joy As She Is Back With Boys”

The four gathered around the TV last night to watch a documentary on Jade and Jack’s wedding.

Fact and fiction merged.

Daily Mail: “Surrounded by love: Comfort for Jade as Jack’s curfew is altered”

Probation officials have changed the curfew controlling Jade Goody’s husband’s movements, so he can spend more time with his dying wife. Jack Tweed, who was convicted of two assaults in just six months, will now be able to stay at the cancer-stricken TV star’s bedside on Thursday and Saturday nights.

“I’m delighted,” the part-time model said. “I’ve been desperate to spend as much time as possible with Jade and her family.”

Anorak

Posted: 13th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Anna Nicole Smith’s Boyfriend Gave Her Drugs After She Died

ANNA Nicole Smith’s former boyfriend Howard K. Stern has been arrested. As the AFP puts it:

The late Anna Nicole Smith’s boyfriend and two doctors have been charged with illegally providing the ex-Playboy model with addictive prescription drugs two years after she died of an overdose.

Why drug her after she’s already dead? Curious stuff.

In showbiz you’re never really dead until your agent says so. And right now Anorak and many other news organistions are making a vow to their readers that, unlike last time when the Iraq war intervened, they will be giving the Anna Nicole story the time in deserves.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Jade Goody Is Like Marmite

LIKE Marmite is the new buzz phrase. Introducing Marmite Watch:

Kerry Katona

Kerry Katona is like Marmite – people like or her or hate her. But one thing is for sure, her life is one crazy roller coaster ride… – MTV

Jade Goody

She joked: “Maybe someone could send me a wreath in the shape of a Marmite bottle with the words written underneath: ‘You either loved or hated her’” – Daily Star

Anorak

Posted: 13th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

When Jade Goody Met Madeleine McCann

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

Daily Mail -Jan Moir: “Gerry’s complaints leave a bitter taste”

How strange it was to see pale, pugnacious Gerry McCann back in the news this week. It serves as a reminder that while the world has moved on for the rest of us, time stands still for him.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (14)

Tactician Jose Mourinho Accused Of Assault

DID Jose Mourinho lose more that his cool when his Inter Milan side lost to Manchester United in the Champions League?

Of course, Mourinho was never cool. He was tetchy and petulant, but thanks to those pauses in speech that make a foreign coach look thoughtful and an English coach thick and his nice scarf Mourinho was considered a spark of genius.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (10)

Drug Dealer Joaquin Guzman Loera On Forbes Rich List

AT Number 71 in the Forbes Rich List is Joaquin Guzman Loera:

Loera is “Mexico’s most wanted man”. His nickname is “El Chapo” (Shorty). He heads the Sinaloa cartel, and once escaped from federal prison in 2001, reportedly through the laundry, wrapped up in a pair of ankle socks.

Where he is now, we can’t say, but given his size, he could be hiding where no-one will find him, such as in the Trophy Room at Manchester City, on stage with Phil Collins or fronting a prime-time chat show on BBC3.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment

Pictures Of A Suicide Bomber Killing In Sri Lanka

PSSST! Wanna see pictures of people being blown to bits by a suicide bomber in Sri Lanka?

It’s been a terrific year for death so far, and it’s only March. C’mon people!

Keeping abreast of so much death isn’t easy but the papers are trying their best.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

Live Iranian TV Show Cancelled As Child Names Stuffed Monkey Ahmadinejad

GEORGE Bush was a monkey, here, here, here, here, here and here. Barack Obama has been a monkey. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, atomic leader of all the Irans, well he might be a monkey yet:

When the presenter of Amoo Pourang, a programme watched by millions of Iranian children three times a week on state TV, asked the name of the toy the boy had been given as a reward for behaving himself, the child replied: “Well, my father calls him Ahmadinejad.”

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment (1)

Legs In The Air: Sports Illustrated Has Plane Naked Bar Refaeli

BAR Refaeli, the Israeli model, is plane naked on the side of a SouthWest Airlines plane for Sports Illustrated.

Refaeil is the Memphis Belle made flesh and bikini straps. Readers will recall Kyla Ebbert who in July 2007,  was pulled aside by the SouthWest moral police as she was preparing to board a plane departing San Diego for Tucson and told her she was dressed too provocatively to fly.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)