Key Posts Category
ABC News: England parties likes its 1605 as Joe Biden win triggers fireworks extravaganza
Joe Biden is declared President of the US of A – and the country’s ABC News reports that the skies over London, England, have erupted in an explosion of light and sound to mark the happy occasion. Keen historians with access to big books and bigger brains (or just the internet – ed) will find it uncanny that the celebration for Catholic Biden should coincide with what Englanders call “Guy Fawkes’ Night”, an event that remembers when Fawkes and a group of fellow English Catholics launched a failed attempt to blow up King James I (1566-1625) and the Parliament on November 5, 1605.
Says one American reporter: “I’m getting rumours of a huge celebration on December 24, with bells, tinsel and a play to be performed in all English schools in which Joseph ‘Joe’ Biden and Mary Trump give birth to a new beginning for all mankind.”
Says no-one: “Are those drones?”
Bank wants children for its ‘WANK Coloring contest’
To Japan, where the Nishi-Nippon City Bank invited children in Nagasaki. to colour in the bank’s mascot. Just add come colours to Wank The Dog.
From the bank’s website:
The popular event “Wank Coloring Contest” , which was held at the West Japan City Bank last year and attracted more than 2,000 works , is coming to the city of Nagasaki this year! Whether you are familiar with Wank or not , be sure to wield your arm for a gorgeous prize !
The contest will be judged by Groovevisions, who created the “timeless” Wank The Dog. Entries are limited to one WANK per person.
Posted: 5th, November 2020 | In: Key Posts, Money, Strange But True | Comment
President Senile or President Lunatic – America decides
Can everything you want to know about the US election be summed up in a tabloid headline? The Daily Star achieves no little success with its front page:
President Senile or President Lunatic? Vote now!
Posted: 5th, November 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
New Yorker Leonard Shoulders falls into a sinkhole full of rats
Leonard Shoulders (real name), 33, was waiting for a bus in the Bronx, New York. Without warning, a sinkhole opened up beneath him. He fell in. He landed atop a pack of rats. Afraid of one crawling into his mouth, Leonard Shoulders kept his lips sealed. Unable to scream, he waited, enduring the horror and the pain from broken arm and leg. His brother tells the New York Daily News:
“He couldnât move, and the rats were crawling all over him. He didnât scream, because he didnât want the rats going into his mouth.”
Leonard Shoulders (that name…) is now recovering in hospital.
In other news: New York City turkey farmer worries about shortage of meat for Christmas hotdogs.
Posted: 30th, October 2020 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
The best Christmas cards delivered to your door
Over on Flashbak, they’ve greeting cards for any and every occasion. There are birthday cards, Christmas cards, cards for love and cards that simply say ‘I’m thinking of you’.
These greetings cards are printed on high-quality 330gsm Fedrigoni card. They come delivered to your door. Cards are either A5 or 5×7 and can be ordered as singles or packs of 10.
See the full range of Christmas cards on the Flashbak Shop.
Posted: 27th, October 2020 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Spell out your name and desires with these fantastic erotic alphabet fridge magnets (NSFW)
A bloke one revealed that NORWICH was not his favourite football team, but an acronym he’d send his wife. The other liberty he’d take was to have the leading ‘N’ stand for’ Knickers’. As you try to work out the code, you might like to cook up of of your or just spell the entire message and stick it to your fridge with these fantastic fridge magnets featuring Joseph Apoux’s Erotic Alphabet of 1880.
Flashbak has fine range of merchandise featuring the racy letters, including prints for each letter (perfect for the smallest room), and a great set of stickers. And these magnets are every bit as good. You can buy the full 26 letters on three economical sheets, or each letter as an individual magnet in a choice of three sizes.
- It’s ‘Knickers Off Ready When I Come Home’.
Posted: 21st, October 2020 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
New Covid Tier Rules Explained: Boris Johnson can meet a tech guru for a ‘working lunch’ in a Manchester hotel room
How do you report on the pandemic, the confusion sewn by a government with all the nous of a puppy sat by a pile of poo and Boris Johnson air-punching Manchester mayor Andy Burnham on the telly, treating him and the city with all the contempt of a bully thanking his victim for bringing so much lunch money to school.? If you’re the Sun you lead with Meghan Markle in a green dress and pictures of a “takeaway food app addict” being hoisted from his Surrey flat, before presumably being dropped on Salford as an emergency fuel source.
Helpfully, the Express does lead with the Covid-19 story, telling us: “Only National Unity Will Defeat Virus”. Which means: comply or die. Which sounds like a threat. Question the Government and you risk lives. Comply with the Government and your business will go bust, you’ll run out money and die from curable cancers. But you’ll do so in the warm glow that it was for the common good – especially for the NHS which must be “saved” for when we rally need health care and granny, who’s seen neither the outside world not any loved ones for months.
The Mirror says Johnson’s “playing poker with the pandemic”, which makes him sound more fun than fool. Such is the tabloid’s love of betting apps and deals that fill the pages, you expect to see the story sponsored by Paddy Power and a shot of Johnson pulling down his trousers to reveal a pair of green knickers on which are displayed the odds for “everyone dead by teatime”.
The aforesaid Burnham wanted ÂŁ65m to “prevent a winter of real hardship”. Johnson and his chums offered ÂŁ60m. They then handed over ÂŁ22m and forced a Tier 3 lockdown on Manchester. That ÂŁ60m might still be on the table. But Johnson did his usual bluster and bluff and failed to answer questions about what is on offer and what is not.
We know Johnson thinks Tier 3 is fine and the following venues throughout Manchester must shut or else: bars, unless they serve meals, betting shops, casinos, Bingo halls, games arcades and soft play areas.” You know, all the places Johnson and his Government spend the evening when the lap dancing club is full.
But there is help. The Star brings news: work in the pub. People from different households in different tiers can mix indoors if they are doing work. Call it a “working lunch” and you can mix indoors. “People are permitted to meet indoors for work purposes in high or very high areas,” says an unidentified Government wonk. If Johnson (London – Tier 2) wants to meet a tech guru in a Manchester hotel room, (Tier 3), he can.
Just remember to bring your own pole.
Posted: 21st, October 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
Scotland’s drinkers accept Nicola Sturgeon’s Covid-19 challenge to booze outdoors
Nicola Sturgeon likes things to be short and sharp – and you’d imagine her husband does, too. Scotland’s First Minister (her) says the decree to shut all pubs, bars and restaurants in central Scotland from 6pm this Friday until October 25 is “intended to be short, sharp action to arrest a worrying increase in infection”. This lock out will stop the rise in coronavirus cases.
In other bits of Scotland, licensed premises can serve alcohol outdoors. The people of Scotland accept the challenge:
Brave heart (freezing cold arse).
Posted: 8th, October 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment
Of course Facebook banned QAnon – it’s part of the conspiracy
Hard cheese on anyone searching for QAnon conspiracy theory stuff on Facebook. The publisher, sorry, social media platform has banned all mention of the group that blames all bad things on a shadowy cabal of elite Satan-worshipping paedophiles. According to theory, only Donald Trump can defeat the blood-sucking child killers.
QAnon believers claim someone called Q is sending them coded messages about Donald Trumpâs war with the âdeep stateâ. It is, as with all conspiracy theories, utterly devoid of evidence or proof. But if you believe the CIA murdered JFK, that Barack Obama was not born in the USA, the moon landings were faked, Prince Philip offed Princess Diana, VIP paedophiles were murdering children in Westminster or that the 9/11 terror attacks were carried out by the Jews (most conspiracy theories end with the Jews), banning all mention of such things will not change your mind. It will most likely make you believe your theory all the more. Why ban the ridiculous and not debunk it? Facebook is surely just in on the conspiracy, right? Rebuttal is proof. Not that conspiracies requires proof, relying instead on unblinking faith and an open-eyed belief in a reality that transcends mere fact.
But the really deal with conspiracy theories is that they are entertaining, give good telly, sell lots of books and distract you from the truth. You know, that we are all controlled by a lizard called Brenda?
Buy prints from the Mark Weiss Rock Legends Archive – wow!
Mark âWEISSGUYâ Weiss is a world-renowned photographer who has traveled the globe photographing music legends from Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Debbie Harry, The Clash, Prince, Queen, The Ramones, Aerosmith, and Mötley CrĂŒe to Metallica, Guns Nâ Roses, Bon Jovi, and KISS. Weissâs images capture the artists onstage, backstage and behind the scenes. His images are now available to buy at the brilliant Flashbak Prints Shop.
He visually documented historic events including the US Festival, Live Aid, the Moscow Music Peace Festival, and the PMRC hearings in WashÂington, DC. His photographs have been pubÂlished in thousands of magazines worldwide, and he is responsible for two of the eraâs definÂing album covers, Bon Joviâs Slippery When Wet and Twisted Sisterâs Stay Hungry. His inimitable photographs helped craft the visual imagery of rock and metal in the 1980s.
Growing up in Matawan, New Jersey, Mark made a deal with a neighbor at thirteen years old to mow his lawn for the summer in exchange for a 35mm camera. He then filled his teenage nights sneaking into concerts to shoot the biggest acts of the â70s. After being arrested for selling photographs outside a KISS concert in 1977, he walked into the offices of Circus with his portfolio and soon landed his first centerfold spread – a photo of Aerosmithâs Steven Tyler. Soon after, he became the publicationâs staff photographer.
In the years to come, Mark became a fan favorite and a star in his own right, with a Creem magazine readerâs poll ranking him as one of rockâs top photographers of the era.Â
Buy the prints her – you can get the signed by Mrs or unsigned. Either way the quality is outstanding.
Posted: 7th, October 2020 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Everyone Murdered By Teatime – watch a strange Soviet film from 1966
This Soviet film from 1966 presents a series of murders seemingly without end. The perpetrator becomes the next victim. And then… Well, you can watch it and see what occurs:
Spotter: Boing Boing
Alexander Dorogokupetz : the teenager who threw eggs at Frank Sinatra and lived to tell the tale
On Flashbak the story of Alexander Dorogokupetz, the 18-year-old who carried a small bag containing three eggs into a Frank Sinatra concert and tossed them at the singer. He struck a few days after the so-called Columbus Day riot, when as many as 35,000 bobbysoxers overwhelmed the area around New York City’s Paramount Theatre for a chance to see the return of the dreamy Frank Sinatra.
There was a lot that irritated Dorogokupetz about Sinatra and his fans. In particular, the bow ties frustrated him, those famous bow ties they were famous for wearing. Why, he thought, did people say he looked like Sinatra if he wore one, and not that Sinatra looked like him? He had a collection of two hundred bow ties at home, and had got his first when he was seven years old. Bow ties were his thing, not Sinatraâs.
…
There was a lot that irritated Dorogokupetz about Sinatra and his fans. In particular, the bow ties frustrated him, those famous bow ties they were famous for wearing. Why, he thought, did people say he looked like Sinatra if he wore one, and not that Sinatra looked like him? He had a collection of two hundred bow ties at home, and had got his first when he was seven years old. Bow ties were his thing, not Sinatraâs.
…
Sinatra began singing I Donât Know Why (I Just Do). This was what Dorogokupetz had wanted, a romantic song, the more romantic the better. He thought of himself as a singer too, having been in the choir at high school. Sometimes, he told people he was a better singer than Sinatra. As proof, he would sing a plaintive duet, done solo.
He threw the first egg gently, and missed. The second, more forceful, hit Sinatra between his eyes, as he was singing the first âyouâ of the song, his mouth open: âI donât know why I love youâŠâ
Sinatra stopped.
The third egg hit him on the chest of his gray suit, glancing his bow tie. For each egg, there was a gasp from the crowd. The âhorde of female rug-cutters,â the papers said, âwere confronted with the deliberate desecration of their bow-tie idol.â Someone shouted, âget the skunk who done it!â
The Teenager Who Egged Frank Sinatra And The Bobby Sox Riot â New York City, 1944
Posted: 1st, October 2020 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Music | Comment
Christmas Gifts: 26 Erotic Stickers from Joseph Apoux’s Alphabet Pornographique
Hold the satsuma. Stocking fillers come no fruitier than this collection of stickers featuring all 26 letters of Joseph Apoux’s Erotic Alphabet of 1880. A single print of the French artist’s ‘Alphabet pornographique’ and the A-Z as individual wall art are available as prints on fine art paper. But to customise a skateboard, laptop or book, the stickers are the tops.
The entire sheet measures 14inches square, and individual stickers are just over 5cm square. Two of the prints below give you an idea of how the designs appear as in the flesh. Global shipping is on offer. So you can send them as a gift to anyone anywhere.
Joseph Apoux’s Alphabet Pornographique and other delights are the Flashbak Shop.
Posted: 25th, September 2020 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Scottish government bans students from going home for Christmas
Looks like you kids are stuck with that mouldering bag of filthy clothes and sheets. Matt Hancock, the enfeebled health secretary, is chewing over the idea of banning students from returning home at Christmas to limit the spread of Covid-19. Appearing on the BBC’s Radio 4 Today Programme, said he has âlearned not to rule things outâ, âwe have to work on all contingencies at the momentâ and: “I donât want to have a situation like that and I very much hope we can avoid it. We have said throughout that our goal is to suppress the virus, whilst protecting the economy and protecting education. And protecting people in education whether itâs school or university is obviously critical as is protecting the economy.â
The Scottish governmentâs national clinical director Jason Leitch says students in Scotland re already forbidden from returning to their parentsâ homes due to new restrictions that stop residents visiting other households. He tweeted:
âWas asked last night whether students in halls and flats can go back to parentsâ homes. To clarify, they are a separate household. There are exceptions, e.g. caring responsibilities, but the law is clear: they canât meet indoors with another household â even mum and dad. Sorry.”
Locked out of pubs, clubs and classes, students locked into their over-priced halls of residences after 8pm are now locked out of returning home. Students returning home will be branded criminals. The higher education bubble must burst soon.
Posted: 24th, September 2020 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment
Covid-19 curfew and lockdown: Government Vultures are controlling our lives
The Government is controlling things it should be controlling. Why is your loved one’s funeral, a wedding or birthday party any of their business? Are you forming the opinion that the only business thriving in the Covid-19 pandemic – well, aside from online supermarkets, Netflix and makers of hand disinfectant – is Government?
New rules are that: pubs and restaurants close at 10pm. Dally at your table – it’s table service only – after the 10pm lockout and Covid Cops will issue fines. Bar staff, non-seated customers, shop workers and waiters must wear a mask or else pay a ÂŁ200 fine. Weddings will include no more than 15 people, including the happy couple (yeah, 13 guests for the feast – what can go wrong?) Up to 30 of you can hook up at funeral – but only if you remain in groups of six. This is part of the so-called ‘Rule of 6’, an arbitrary rule that says that when seeing friends and family you do not live with you should meet in groups of 6 or less.
Look out for VULTURE APP, a service that alerts the bored and isolated to funerals with spare capacity.
And what of your chances of dying from Covid? Well, the Office for National Statistics notes:
The coronavirus (COVID-19) did not feature in the top ten leading causes of death in August 2020, in England or Wales. In England, COVID-19 was the 24th most common cause of death and in Wales it was the 19th most common cause of death, for deaths registered in August 2020.
Should we focus on something else? No say all the politicians of every stripe. The London Mayor wants more curfews, social distancing and mask wearing. In Scotland you cannot visit anyone in another home. Leading politicians are outdoing each other in a bid to exert more control. But…:
The leading cause of death in August 2020 was dementia and Alzheimerâs disease in England (accounting for 10.9% of all deaths) and ischaemic heart disease in Wales (11.0% of all deaths); both leading causes of death were the same in July 2020.
The Centre for Evidence-Based Medicine (“develops, promotes and disseminates better evidence for healthcare”), tells us:
While we found that roughly one in thirteen (7.8%) deaths with COVID-19 on the death certificate did not have the disease as the underlying cause of death, this proportion has risen substantially to 29% (nearly a third) for the last eight weeks of reporting.
Is our Government panicking? And why are we so supine in the face of rules and laws that need to be challenged and held up to scrutiny?
Posted: 22nd, September 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Christian Brueckner is innocent because circumstantial evidence is not enough
Christian Brueckner is innocent of any involvement in the vanishing of Madeleine McCann. If you doubt that statement is true, prove that it isn’t. That’s the challenge facing German prosecutors who believe the convicted peadophile stole the child and murdered her. “The disappearance of Madeleine McCann: Have they got the right man this time?” asks Martin Brunt, the Sky News reporter who has been hot on the heels of rumours. trolls and not a single meaningful development since Madeleine McCann went missing in May 2007 and became the media’s ‘Our Maddie’. Brunt has been speaking to lawyers. After a few paragraphs telling us who Christian Bruekner is, Brunt sums up the entire case against the infamous criminal:
The case against him is circumstantial – he is a convicted paedophile, he lived in the area, and on the night she disappeared, his mobile phone was in use nearby. The next day he changed the registration of one of his vehicles.
“Have they got the right man this time?,” ask Brunt seven paragraphs into his feature. Around 60 short paragrapahs later, Brunt concludes:
In fact, one source told me that Christian B may be no better a suspect for Madeleine’s abduction than two other principle targets.
They are the unnamed suspect, who may still be the subject of an undercover operation, and Euclides Monteiro, a sacked Ocean club waiter and thief who died two years after Madeleine vanished and was later eliminated from the inquiry.
The Mirror has a few words on the investigation. “Madeleine McCann investigators have ‘no smoking gun’ to charge Christian Brueckner,” trills the headline. Its worst than that. They have no gun. They have no smoke. They have a belief, an idea. German Prosecutor Hans Christian Wolters is doing the rounds, telling Portuguese media:
âAll I can say is this is like a puzzle and there are many pieces that lead us to believe Christian B is responsible.”
Hold the book deal, Hans. You’re going to need more.
âOne of the pieces is the signal from the mobile phone he was using at the time Madeleine McCann disappeared and has been shown to have been in the area of the Ocean Club resort where she was staying.â
You’ve 20 more chapters to fill, Hans. What else you got?
âThe result of our investigation does not point in any way to the possibility the suspect might have kept Madeleine alive. We have nothing to indicate she could be alive. Everything we have points to her being dead. We have no margin of manoeuvre.â
Is that lost in translation – “no magian of manoeuvre”? Is that Google Translate for ‘we have no open mind’? Of course any good blockbuster needs a good plot. Goncalo Amaral is the Portuguese coppers who wrote a book about the case. Will any book Wolters writes reach a firmer conclusion, give us the definitive story?
Mr Wolters also rebutted claims made by disgraced former police officer Goncalo Amaral, who met with Bruecknerâs defence lawyer Friedrich Fulscher last week in Portugal, that the German was being âscapegoated.â
A scapegoat?
The controversial ex-cop, who was removed from the initial Madeleine McCann investigation for criticising British police, is involved in an ongoing legal battle with her parents Kate and Gerry over his insistence she died by accident in their apartment and they covered it up…
German Belief v Portuguese Insistence? Or to put it another way: German Insistence v Portuguese Belief. Wolters continues:
âI know this former inspector speaks a lot and comments on our work. Weâre not going to get into a war of words. All I will say is that we have carried out a very serious investigation and there is no indication whatsoever Madeleine McCannâs parents are linked to her disappearance. On the other hand we have a lot of evidence pointing to Christian B killing her. Goncalo Amaral knows how he reaches his conclusions and thatâs not up to us to judge.â
To which the Sun thunders:
Kate and Gerry McCann are not suspects. They are on the record in the Star, sort of:
But Kate and Gerry “won’t believe she’s dead” until a body has been found, it is claimed. A source close to the family said: “Until a body is found and it is proved to be Madeleineâs, Kate and Gerry are not giving up hope. These latest âsheâs dead but there’s no bodyâ theories have been repeated over the past three-and-a-half months but in all this time there appears to be no significant new development.”
At least someone is dealing in facts. The unnamed source – why unnamed and not on the record? – wants facts not theories.
Over to the Mail:
A German drifter and partner-in-crime of Madeleine McCann prime suspect Christian Brueckner has branded him an ‘evil psychopath’ who is ‘capable of taking a child’.
Manfred Seyferth, 64, said 43-year-old Brueckner was known as ‘The Climber’ for his ability to break into homes, and was robbing apartments in Praia da Luz the year the young girl vanished.
Seyferth, who acted as a key witness against Brueckner when he was jailed for the rape of an American woman in 2018, believes the peadophile is guilty of taking thee-year-old Madeleine from her parents’ holiday apartment in 2007.
He tells the Sun:
“Christian is a bad, bad man. He is evil. I never liked him and he is a psychopath. He is obsessed with small children and I didnât like it. He always had a young girlfriend with him and I think he is easily capable of taking a small child.”
Oh?
“I think he may have something to do with Maddie.”
What of that rape case? Says the Sun:
Christian was convicted of attacking a 72-year-old woman in her own home at Praia da Luz in 2005.
Says the Mirror:
Brueckner, a German citizen, is currently in Justizvollzugsanstalt Kiel prison, where he is trying to overturn his sentence for raping a woman, 73, in Portugal.
Madeleine McCann is missing. It’s pretty much the only fact media and theorists can agree on.
Posted: 21st, September 2020 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News, Tabloids | Comment
Every letter of the Victorian Erotic Alphabet is now available as a print
Stuck for a housewarming gift, anniversary pressie or something to put in the downstairs loo to entertain the guests? Don’t be. You can buy Jospeh Apoux’s fabulous Erotic Alphabet of 1880 as a poster and study all 26 letters as individual prints. Buy two prints to represent the happy couple’s initials, perhaps; three for the mĂ©nage Ă trois; and lots for the orgy (bulk deals available on request).
All the letters are printed on the most gorgeous fine art paper using the best inks.
Give them the gift that keeps on giving. See the whole range here.
If you would like to spell out a word, name, slogan or whatever on a T-shirt, bag, card or print, please get in touch here:
The Erotic Alphabet – Cards, Tees, Prints and Totes.
Posted: 15th, September 2020 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Adele: Bantu Knots fail to distract editors from singer’s stomach and breasts
Jerry Sadowitz once told a rude joke about Princess Diana, lampooning the obsession with women’s looks and fashion choices: “Breaking News – Princess Diana has put her hair in a bun and her **** in a toaster.” The singer Adele has put her hair in Bantu knots and her body in a bikini. “Happy what would be Notting Hill Carnival my beloved London GBJM,” said Adele as she brought a bit of carnival to her garden in Beverly Hills.
First the hair, which has upset a few people on Twitter. Billboard says, “The singer’s hair was intricately twisted in a style similar to Bantu knots, adorned with bright yellow feathers behind her head.” Sky tells readers that there were Bantu Knots, “a traditional African hairstyle in which the hair is twisted into a series of small coiled buns.” Just the thing to join in the celebration of Afro-Caribbean culture in the UK. Unless you have the blinkers on:
That tweet from the “CEO of Ernest Media Empire” was out of kilter with most people, whose views can be summed up best by Ciku Muiruri:
And in the UK, Adele’s bikini and hair a political matter:
The Times now steps in: “Cultural appropriation describes borrowing styles or items which are significant in a culture that is not theirs.” Did Adele seek permission to put her hair in Bantu Knots and wear a Jamaican flag bikini? And if she did, which body did she submit her outfit to for official approval? Says Naomi Campbell: âShe looks hot. As a Jamaican girl myself, my girl has grown up in black culture. People forget sheâs from Tottenham.â What if Adele was from rural Hampshire? Would that not give her a pass?
Matthew Phillip, executive director of the carnival, tells The Observer: âYes, we say black lives matter, but itâs about promoting unity and inclusion. Thatâs why it was set up in the first place, to bring different communities together from different backgrounds.â
But bigger news than Adele’s hair is her weight:
What price Adele used her hair to distract attention from the media obsession with her weight? Look out for the Mail article, “Why Bantu Knots are slimming.”
Posted: 1st, September 2020 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment
Meet adult baby and nappy enthusiast Damien Turner
The pandemic has been good for people who prefer to work from home. You get to stay in your pyjamas, at least from the waist up if you’re on Zoom; have the radio on; and use your own toilet. If you’re Damien Turner, 28, from West Virginia, you can even get to go to the toilet in your nappy.
Says Dave, a member of the ABDL community: “Gag-ga-go-toy-toy.” Or to put it through Goo-Goo-Google Translate: “Diapers are very convenient, comfortable, and cute. Itâs a very nice lifestyle and I wouldnât want to do anything else.”
He goes on: “Dressing and acting like a baby gives off a very calm, relaxing, safe vibe. Itâs almost as if you were back in preschool without a worry in the world. Employment is hard. I’m constantly in and out of jobs. Sometimes my employers find my pictures online or just can’t put up with the fact I’m wearing a diaper and acting childish in the workplace.”
Drooling is ok, we art Anorak are pretty col with that. Scrawling on walls, yes, that too. Pooping your pants, less so. Also tantrums, strops, meltdowns and eating large green candles of thick snot straight from source are not much liked.
“I’ve lost a few childhood best friends,” adds Dave, most likely losing them when they starting shaving and mutated into adults. Although if Dave’s patient he might hook up with some old faces again when incontinence strikes.
Spotter: Mirror
Posted: 31st, August 2020 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Daily Express Megan Markle obsession makes Princess Diana statue blush
“Brought back together by mum,” says the Daily Mirror. It’s a story about Prince Wills and Harry Baseball Cap. A royal insider says moves to erect a statue to Princess Diana to mark what wold have been her 60th birthday will “help to heal old wounds”. The Express guesses that Wills and Harry will both be in attendance when the statue is unveiled. And Meghan Markle might be there, too. Today the Express has a scoop: “Meghan Markle’s obsession with Princess Diana exposed by former childhood friend”:
That just one of many Meghan Markle stories published by the Daily Express today – move that cold be called obsessive:
No fewer than 13 stories today on Meghan Markle – that’s not including the many more Express articles than namecheck her for SEO purposes.
As for being obsessed with Diana, well…
Such are the facts…
Posted: 29th, August 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment
Cashing in on death: the Covid-19 plush toy (made in China)
You can buy a Covid-19 Plush toy and snuggle up to a stuffed effigy of the virus that has killed and contributed to the untimely deaths of thousands of people.
Somebody wrote the following:
It’s quite incredible (and mildly terrifying!) how a bunch of tiny microbes can have such a profound impact on the world.
You’ve been trying your very best to avoid it for the last few months, but now you can get your well-sanitised hands on COVID-19 â in cuddly plush form!
As you search the web for a cancer cuddly or an ebola action figure, another company says a small percentage of money raised from sales of the cuddly Covid-19 plus toy will go to “charities supporting healthcare workers who need essential supplies, vulnerable families who need care and children who are losing healthy meals due to school closings.”
As nurses and doctors snuggle up to the thing that might kill them at work – and the sane wonder why you didn’t just give all the money to charity – you can know that the Covid-19 toy is made in China – just like the real thing!
Says no-one: ‘Where can I get Covid-1 to 18 and complete the set?’
Posted: 22nd, August 2020 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment
Dead man comes back to life and win Lottery twice
In 1999 Bill Morgan, 37, suffered a heart attack and was pronounced clinically dead. Having narrowly survived a car crash, Bill was given emergency drugs which triggered an extreme allergic reaction causing his heart to stop. Medics pronounced him clinically dead. But after 14 minutes of inaction, Bill’s heart restarted. But he was now in a coma. Twelve days later Bill came round. The better news was that everything was working properly. He’d made an incredible recovery. And then luck struck. Bill won a car on the the lottery. Great news.
Local TV got wind of Bill’s story and invited to him to relive the moment when he bought the ticket and won the car. So off Bill went to the shop with the TV crew in tow. He’d show them how he’d bought the ticket and won the car – a useful asset to a man living in a caravan. The cameras rolled. Bill played along. He bought a new ticket. And checked the numbers. “I just won 250,000,” said Bill. “I am not joking. I just won 250,000. Please don’t film me.”I don’t believe this is happening. I think I will have another heart attack. Oh gosh!”
Spotter: Flashbak
Posted: 13th, August 2020 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment
BBC Breakfast turns migrants Channel crossing into a would-be snuff movie
Where were you when the BBC was on a boat in the English Channel watching migrants trying to stop their rubber dingy from sinking? You might have seen the BBC’s tweet and a short video of its report:
Simon Jones, our man on the scene (in a bigger, dryer boat), talked us through the drama on a “choppy” sea. The migrants were using a plastic container to try to bail out the boat. Faced with people in a “dangerous” situation, what did the man in the bigger, dryer, safer boat do? Yes: he shouted: “Are you ok?” That was after “spotting” (aka looking for and finding) the migrants half an hour earlier, and, presumably, staying close to them.
The BBC’s bloke went full sailing regatta and asked them, “Are you all right?” He then gave them a thumbs up. Not an old Roman Emperor’s signal for them to be spared death at the circus, but an attempt to get some kind of reaction. Jones then asked them where they were from?; “How many people” (on the boat?; under the boat?; fallen from the boat?); and “Where do you want to go?” Not one wag replied ‘Your house” or “Mars”, settling instead on Dover.
Stay tuned for when one boat carrying migrants is capsized by the wash from a TV crew’s launch, and a reporter can lower their voice and talk about a ‘tragedy’.
Posted: 11th, August 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, TV & Radio | Comment
