Key Posts Category
Uganda’s Red Paper Newspaper Names ‘200 Top Homos’ And Their Worms
TO UGANDA, where the local Red Pepper newspaper leads with:
“EXPOSED! Uganda’s Top 300 Honos Names”
Congratulations to those who made the list, and commiserations to those who did not, could be premature because Uganda is a beacon of intolerance and bigotry. The paper adds:
“In salutation to the new law, today we unleash Uganda’s top homos and their sympathisers.”
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Posted: 25th, February 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
1960s Horror Food: The Luminous Metrecal Diet In A Can
IN the 1950s and 1960s, Mead Johnson’s Metrecal promised to get you into shape. What that shape was, we people of the future can only guess at – and we guess it was a human form jackknifed over a toilet.
Mead Johnson spotted Sustagen, a composite blend of mix of skimmed milk powder, soybean flour, vitamins, minerals, corn oil, minerals and vitamins spooned into hospital patients not up to eating solids. Pressing ‘Go’ on the random-name-generating computer, produced Metrecal, the weight-reducing miracle. It looked like baby powder. It tasted like baby sick. But – buy – it sure cured your appetite.
Take a drink and get slim. But do stick to the 900 calories of Metrecal a day.
This advert for the vile goop is from 1965:
The keen-to-be-slim could chow down on Metrecal milkshakes, Metrecal cookies, Metrecal clam chowder (New England style) and Metrecal tuna and noodles. Remember, so long as you kept to 900 calories a day, you’d be thinning. And nothing was better at building the new you than the liquid lunches, dinners and breakfasts.
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Posted: 25th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Great Moments in Phallic Occurrences
HERE are a few vintage phallic instances (either real or inferred) which have gained a bit of notoriety over the years. Read on – your inner idiot will thank you.
1. THE RIFLEMAN’S LOG
This Rifleman comic book has experienced a certain degree of notoriety for what can only be described as a horrifically uncomfortable cover. How is it possible that the subtext went unnoticed before printing? Looking through old magazines, comic books, etc. it’s easy to stumble onto accidental phallic imagery. Perhaps it’s because they weren’t as jaded as we are these days, always finding the tawdry in the innocent. Or maybe published adverts and illustrations generally weren’t as polished, edited and re-edited as they are today. Who knows? Yet, the phallic nature of this one seems so extreme, it couldn’t possibly have been missed by even the most obtrusively naive,… right?
2. THREEPIO’S UNIT
This Star Wars trading card has also received some well-earned notoriety. It appears that C-3PO is sporting a golden metallic erection of impressive proportions. The robot was supposed to be a “protocol droid”, but this picture has one wondering if C-3PO had other useful functions not fit for a family movie. According to the official Star Wars site:
It appears that the extra appendage is not the work of an artist, but rather a trick of timing and light…. At the exact instant the photo was snapped, a piece fell off the Threepio costume and just happened to line up in such a way as to suggest a bawdy image.
According to Snopes, whether this was intentional or not remains undetermined.
3. SEARS CATALOG PROTRUSION
This unfortunate event occurred in the 1975 Sears Fall/Winter catalog. Extending below the boxer shorts emerges what appears to be a glimpse of this model’s manhood. A lot of squinting, enlarging, and Photoshop exploration has occurred over the years trying to get this mysterious object into focus. Can it truly be what we think it is? Or is it simply a smudge? We may never really know.
This phallic incident even inspired a novelty song “The Man on Page 602” by Zoot Fenster, released not long after the catalog was published.
“The picture’s got me out of sorts, because I don’t understand,
Are they advertising boxer shorts, or are they trying to sell the man?”
4. THREE’S COMPANY SCROTAL EXPOSURE
God knows, shorts certainly lived up to their name in the 1970s. So, you can hardly fault John Ritter for what took place in episode 161 of Three’s Company. In this now infamous sitcom episode, he takes a seat on a bed and in the process reveals portions of his junk for the camera. If you blink you miss it, and it’s not exactly in high definition either…. But, make no mistake, Ritter’s naughty bits are definitely there. The incident yielded one of my favorite quotes of all time. When asked by The New York Observer whether they should edit the scene for future broadcasts, Ritter responded:
“I’ve requested that Nickelodeon air both versions, edited and unedited, because sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don’t.”
5. POPSICLE OF SHAME
I present to you this highly troubling Evel Knievel Popsicle ad. It hasn’t garnered any notoriety yet, but it’s high time it did. Spread the word.
THE END
More here.
Posted: 25th, February 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
The Worst Celebrity Statues, EVER!
RECENTLY, you may have seen the terrible depiction of Kurt Cobain in statue form, in Aberdeen (the American one, not the Scottish one). The statue, below, features Cobain looking like a wino busker, crying.
Actually crying. Because Kurt was so sensitive. Maaaaaaaan.
Of course, most people’s memories of Kurt where a little more fun and energetic, rather than the maudlin monstrosity that is roundly being mocked by the whole internet.
Of course, Kurt Cobain isn’t the only famous person to get a statue of themselves. Crucially, he’s not the only famous person to have a UTTERLY DREADFUL statue cluttering up the world.
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Posted: 24th, February 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The Rise And Fall of Benny Hill
Benny Hill wanted his women to be more naive than he was, women who would look up to him. He also said it was fellatio he wanted, or masturbation. “But Bob, I get a thrill when they’re kneeling there, between my knees and they’re looking up at me. And I want them to call me Mr Hill, not Benny. ‘Is that all right for you , Mr Hill?’ That’s lovely, that is, I really like that,” I asked him why and he said, “well, it’s respectful.” – Bob Monkhouse (from Mark Lewisohn’s Benny Hill biography – ‘Funny, Peculiar’).
ON the morning of 19th April 1992, which was Easter Sunday morning that year, and just two hours after he had been speaking to a television producer about the possibility of yet another come-back, 75 year-old Frankie Howerd collapsed and died of heart failure.
Benny Hill, who was seven years younger than Howerd, was quoted in the press as being “very upset” and was reported as saying, “We were great, great friends”. Indeed they had been friends but he hadn’t given a quote about his fellow comedian, he hadn’t been asked for one – he couldn’t have been – because he was already dead.
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Posted: 24th, February 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Your Guidebook to Creating a Proper Heavy Metal Album Cover
A PRIME reason for heavy metal’s success is that it is a culture unto itself. Fads come and go, but a culture has staying power. It comes with its own dress code, etiquette and idolatry. A small but important part of that culture is the album cover – the visual representation of the music, the heart of the heavy metal universe. If you’re a metal band, it’s imperative you get this facet right. So, let’s tour through some metal covers from the 1980s, a time when heavy metal was king, and learn from their successes and failures.
LESSON 1: THE 6 REQUIREMENTS
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Posted: 24th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment
Iwo Jima: A Story Of Death, Glory And Propaganda In Wonderful Photos
ON this day in photos: February 23, 1945: US raises flag raised over Iwo Jima.
Joe Rosenthal took the wonderful picture as the U.S. Marines of the 28th Regiment, 5th Division, raised the American flag atop Mt. Suribachi.
This picture won the Pulitzer Prize in 1945.
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Posted: 23rd, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comment
Their Golden Years? Five Films About Your Greatest Heroes Growing Old
WITH J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars Episode VII in the pipeline comes the news that Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher will reprise their iconic roles in the George Lucas franchise for the first time in over thirty years, since 1983’s Return of the Jedi.
What impacts have time and ageing had upon courageous Empire-busting rebels Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia?
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Posted: 22nd, February 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2)
TV Nightmares: 10 Highly Disturbing Sitcom Episodes of the 70s and 80s
THE trouble with American situation comedies in the 1970s and 1980s was that you never knew what you were going to get when you tuned in: was it going to be light-hearted entertainment or tales from the darkside? There was nothing worse than sitting on the couch, ready for 30 minutes of laughs, and instead being served a smorgasbord of human suffering.
In their lust for an Emmy, sitcom writers got it into their heads that there just had to be “special episodes”. With these stories, the comedy came to a screeching halt in favor of some of the most brutal narratives imaginable. What made it so nefarious is that these shows generally were fun and silly…. then they turned on a dime, delivering terrifying accounts of sodomy and molestation. You never knew what you were going to get, so you were unprepared for the nightmare unfolding before you.
I’ll begin with the most infamous example of them all….
1. Diff’rent Strokes
“The Bicycle Man” Parts 1 and 2 (1983)
Season 5, Episodes 16 and 17
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Posted: 21st, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (10)
A Mighty Histotry Of The Famous And Infamous Who Took A Tumble In Public
A BIG (helping) hand please for the fall guys…
A month of extreme weather and Winter Olympics has brought the downfall of members of the public…
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Posted: 21st, February 2014 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts, Royal Family, Sports | Comment
Portals of Light, Portals of Dark: The Yin and Yang of Contact (1997) and Event Horizon (1997)
EVERY now and then, Hollywood comes up with a good concept, and then competing studios rush to ruthlessly exploit it. Remember the summer of 1998, and dueling asteroid pictures Armageddon and Deep Impact?
Or 1988, the year of the “body switch” movie like Big, Vice Versa and 18 Again?
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Posted: 20th, February 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (4)
When The Daily Mail Summons Its Writers To Make Sad Celebrities Of Their Children It’s Paedogeddon
DAILY Mail writers don’t have children, they have material. Among the coterie of wearisome women columnists that pour out self-parody in prose for the Daily Mail’s malevolent Mekon boss, Paul Dacre, Shona Sibary is the worst offender. While Liz Jones mines her own mental illness for copy, Sibary exploits her four children repeatedly and shamelessly, embarrassing them in print and online even more frequently than Samantha Brick mentions her horny-handed hairy scary of a husband.
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Posted: 20th, February 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
1980s Band Names Demystified
HAVE you been wasting precious hours of your day wondering where A Flock of Seagulls got their name? Well, wonder no more. Before your very eyes are the etymologies of 1980s pop-synth and post-punk bands, illuminated for posterity. No more shall mankind contemplate the origin of Kajagoogoo. Mystery solved.
Boomtown Rats
Named after a gang of children that Geldof had read about in Woody Guthrie’s autobiography, Bound for Glory.
The Buggles
Trevor Horn imagined a futuristic computer creating a synthetic band “The Buggles”, a corruption of The Beatles
Dexy’s Midnight Runners
Dexedrine, a brand of dextroamphetamine – the original ADHD medication, and a once popular recreational stimulant.
Any excuse to hear this. (Cue the school disco frenzy.)
Duran Duran
Named after the villain in Barbarella, Dr. Durand Durand
Fine Young Cannibals
From the 1960 film All the Fine Young Cannibals starring Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood.
A Flock of Seagulls
Taken from the lyrics to “Toiler on the Sea” by The Stranglers
We ventured overland
Fought with the aliens
The young ones used their hands
Pointed the way to a flock
A flock of seagulls!
Frankie Goes to Hollywood
A random headline from the New Yorker magazine (the “Frankie” in question referred to Frank Sinatra)
Heaven 17
A fictional band mentioned in Anthony Burgess’s novel, A Clockwork Orange.
Hüsker Dü
Named after the board game. The heavy metal umlauts were added for effect.
INXS
Inspired by the band XTC and Australian jam makers IXL, they decided on a foreshortened version of “inaccessible”.
Jesus and Mary Chain
Allegedly from a breakfast cereal package which advertised that you could send off for a free Jesus and Mary chain.
Kajagoogoo
A slight variation on a baby’s first sounds: gaga googoo
Level 42
42 as in the answer to the meaning of life in the Douglas Adams book The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy
Love and Rockets
After the Jaime and Mario Hernandez alternative comic books
Madness
Homage to Madness a song by reggae artist Prince Buster.
Ready to the the Rude Boy dance that anyone could do (again, any excuse):
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
They wanted a name that in no way would confuse them as a punk band. I think they succeeded.
The Pretenders
Named after the Platters song The Great Pretender.
Public Image, Ltd.
After the Muriel Spark novel The Public Image
Scritti Politti
A homage to the Italian Marxist writer and political theorist Antonio Gramsci. The correct spelling in Italian to refer to “Political Writings” would have produced “Scritti Politici, but was changed to sound like the Little Richard song Tutti Frutti.
Simple Minds
From the David Bowie song “The Jean Genie”
“Hes so simple minded he can’t drive his module,
He bites on the neon and sleeps in the capsule”
Simply Red
The band’s name originally was “Red”, but when the singer had to repeatedly clarify their name as “Red, simply Red”, it seemed to stick.
Sonic Youth
A combination of the nickname of MC5’s Fred “Sonic” Smith with “Youth” from reggae artist Big Youth.
Spandau Ballet
The name refers to many hangings at Spandau Prison where the victims would twitch and jump (a macabre ballet) at the end of a rope.
Squeeze
A facetious tribute to The Velvet Underground’s oft-derided 1973 album Squeeze.
Tears for Fears
Inspired by “primal therapy”, developed by American psychologist Arthur Janov, who had John Lennon as a patient in 1970.
Thompson Twins
From the Thompson and Thompson characters from The Adventures of TinTin
T’Pau
Named after a Vulcan Elder on Star Trek
Wang Chung
Originally, Huang Chung which they claimed translated to “perfect pitch” and the sound a guitar makes. The spelling was changed from “Huang” to “Wang” simply to make it easier to pronounce.
… and there you have it. You’re welcome.
Posted: 20th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comments (2)
Piña Colliding: Yes, Rupert Holmes’ 1979 Hit Can Make Every Movie Better
“ESCAPE (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes is great and it should be in every movie.”
So writes Carol Hartsell and Sean Crespo in an introduction to their Tumblr Piña Colliding. For those of you not au fait with Holme’s 1979 hit, here it is.
But can the song make everything it touches better? Let’s see:
Pina Colada 1: The Lion King
he Hitcher
The Silence Of The Lambs
Jaws
Posted: 20th, February 2014 | In: Film, Key Posts, Music | Comment
Who Shouldn’t Host The Brits After James Corden Quits? Let’s See…
YOU may have heard (and maybe celebrated too) that James Corden is going to step down from the hosting gig at the Brits Awards tonight.
We are legally obliged to mention Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood’s disastrous outing as hosts, but they do show that this is not an easy gig to do. Huge TV audiences. Band’s egos. A room filled with horrific music industry cokeheads grabbing their interns groins.
It’s enough to make a grown-up weep like they’ve just found an uncovered war grave.
However, there are some people knocking around who would be absolutely perfect for the gig. They can handle the pressure or bring a unique charm to proceedings.
Shall we look at our picks? Yes. Yes, we should.
Nick Grimshaw
Now, Grimmy has revealed that he’d love to take on the Brits gig. Corden reckons the job should go to Emma Willis. However, the music industry is notoriously sexist, so if they want to make progress, they’ll take baby steps by giving it to a gay man before entertaining the idea of Some Woman.
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Posted: 19th, February 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
17 Insane and Disturbing Trading Cards
NON-SPORTS trading cards around the 1970s generally were aimed at kids and revolved around a popular movie or TV program. They were meant for fun; for collecting and trading on the playground. Nothing serious. Subsequently, it’s all the more unsettling when you run across an old trading card that takes a walk on the dark side. Here are a seventeen insane and disturbing examples. Enjoy.
MOD SQUAD ASSAULT CARD (1968)
This doesn’t look like a child’s trading card. This looks like something a serial killer would pin to his bedroom wall.
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Posted: 19th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)
8 Reasons Why Every Movie Needs A Theme Song
A LOT of people make a lot of films, but sadly not all those films have kick-ass theme songs. This is a crying shame – AN ENORMOUSLY CRYING SHAME – because in an ideal world every film ever made would either begin or end (ideally both) with a song (not an instrumental, they don’t count) sharing a title with the film in question. Filmmakers, heed this advice. Why? Why, you say? Well…
– YOU MIGHT FINALLY GET THAT KUDOS YOU’VE BEEN AFTER
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Posted: 18th, February 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment
Those Meddling Scooby Do Kids: Saturday Morning Mimicry
UPON the success of Scooby Doo, a flood of imitations appeared on television screens, all containing the same basic template. This wouldn’t be worth talking about if the formula wasn’t Xeroxed with such wild abandon. It truly is awesome to behold the number of times it was used and reused, with only minimal variation. Those in the business called the formula: “Three Kids and a Nyah Nyah”. Basically, what this means is you have three principle characters each fulfilling a certain trope and a gimmicky creature. Here it is broken down:
The Stud – the beefy, alpha male of the group
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Posted: 18th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Monsters from Yesteryear: Four TV Horror Anthologies That Deserve a DVD Resurrection
ON Tuesday, February 25, Monsters: The Complete Series will be released on DVD. For those who may not remember it, Monsters (1984 – 1988) was Laurel’s second TV horror anthology after Tales from the Darkside (1984 – 1988), and – much like its more well-known predecessor – it was crafted on an extremely low-budget.
In fact, the joke about Tales from the Darkside in the eighties was that its special effects were crafted for $188.00 per episode.
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Posted: 17th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (8)
Self-Abuse Challenge: Listen To 10 Awful Songs From The ’80s
WHY subject yourself to ten objectively awful songs, you ask? Even though it will be painful and there will be mental wounds that may take years to heal, it is a worthy endeavor. It will serve as a reminder that, no matter how bad the state of music is today, there were songs in the 1980s that were much, much worse.
Can you make it through all ten? Bear in mind, these aren’t “so bad they’re good”; they’re “so bad they cause cancer”. In fact, the selection chosen from a variety of countries to soften the blame on any one nation. Before beginning, we recommend you have the phone number of a good therapist close at hand. Good luck to you… but don’t say you weren’t warned.
“Neighbours” Theme Song (1985)
Australia
Is it possible for your brain to vomit? You’ll find out when you take a listen to this saccharine Australian TV show theme.
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Posted: 17th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comments (2)
Ten Largely Forgotten Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ripoffs
THIS year marks the 30th anniversary of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and whatever misgivings people might have about the new Michael Bay-produced movie it’ll be massive. We might find ourselves entering another golden age of Teenage Mutant Giant Ripoffs, like when the original cartoon (1987-1996) inspired a whole load of other shows that took the formula of a group of merchandise-friendly anthropomorphized animals with a tendency towards violence and ran with it. Some of the ripoffs were alright, some of the ripoffs were terrible, but none of them are being made into a giant-ass Michael Bay film, and none of them had nunchuks, so the Turtles win. Here are ten of our “favourite” TMNT clones.
BUCKY O’HARE AND THE TOAD WARS (1991)
MUTANT TURTLE SUBSTITUTES: A multi-species spaceship crew
Despite being based on a comic created before TMNT (although published after it), there’s no way anyone would have funded a Bucky O’Hare cartoon without the huge success of the Turtles. As well as the eponymous green pilot hare there was Jenny the cat pilot, Deadeye Duck the one-eyed gunner, Bruiser the baboon, Blinky the one-eyed android and human tagalong Willy. The action figures were amazing, but if you own them and are ashamed of your nerdiness, get in touch and we’ll take them off your hands…
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Posted: 15th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
On This Day In Photos: Iran Orders Salman Rushdie To Be Murdered For Writing A Book
ON this day in photos: February 14 1989: Iran’s leader Ayatollah Khomeini sentences British author Salman Rushdie to death. He also sentenced to death the publishers of Rushdie’s book the Satanic Verses. Khomeni said the book is a blasphemy against Islam. His decree introduced many of us to the word ‘fatwa’.
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Posted: 14th, February 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1)
The Valentine’s Day Massacre And A Nightclub Toilet
AT half-past ten on St Valentine’s Day, 1929 in a cold, unheated brick garage at 2122 North Clark Street, Chicago, six members of the Bugs Moran gang were sitting around waiting for a consignment of illegal whisky due to be delivered that morning. Moran himself was meant to be there too but had slept in and was late.
A Cadillac screeched to a halt outside and three men dressed as policemen accompanied by two men in civilian clothes entered the premises. They told the six gangsters and John May, a mechanic working in the garage, to stand in a row with their hands up against the wall. A few seconds and ninety bullets later the men were left slumped dead and dying on the floor.
Not long after the killings, John Miller, a reporter on the newspaper Chicago American arrived on the scene and wrote:
Sprawled grotesquely at the base of the bullet-riddled stone wall were six distorted bodies; a seventh lay slumped over a wooden chair. One of the officers called out, ‘This one’s Pete Gusenberg, an ex-con and the chief gunner for the Drucci-Moran gang. Here’s Al Weinshank, the North Side booze runner, and Artie Davis from the West Side mob. And this was James Clark, Bugs Moran’s brother-in-law. Here what’s left of Doc Schwimmer.’
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Posted: 14th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts | Comment
Top 10 De La Soul Tunes To Celebrate Them Giving Away Their Whole Back Catalogue
YOU may have heard about De La Soul giving their entire back catalogue away for free over at their website – wearedelasoul.com – which is great news for hip hop fans, the rap curious and anyone who like music.
They’re doing it to celebrate next month’s 25th anniversary of their debut cut ‘3 Feet High And Rising’. It is only available for 25 hours, so make sure you’re on it (from 4pm onward).
Speaking to Rolling Stone about their decision, Posdnuos said: “It’s about allowing our fans who have been looking and trying to get a hold of our music to have access to it. It’s been too long where our fans haven’t had access to everything. This is our way of showing them how much we love them.”
So what tracks should you look out for? Well, here’s ten of the best of De La Soul’s work. Enjoy!
Breakadawn
Classic laid-back De La. Overlooked by a few because, in short, it isn’t on their first album. Huge summer jam.
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Posted: 14th, February 2014 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment