Intercontinental Dance Floor Dives: Your Euro Disco Dynamite Primer

WHEN disco hit its stride in the mid to late Seventies, it transcended language and boundaries. Perhaps, the secret of its success was that the criterion was so damn simple:  Can you dance to it?  If the answer was “yes”, chances are, you have a disco hit on your hands.

While ABBA and The Bee-Gees propelled the genre into the stratosphere, there were plenty of other good (and not-so-good) disco tracks being churned out across Europe that deserve to be resurrected.  Here are 9 interesting, odd, and awesome gems rescued from obscurity.  Enjoy.

Dschingis Khan – “Dschinghis Khan” (1979) Germany

I wonder what the Mongol overlord would have said if he knew he’d one day be the subject of a peppy German disco track.  I can’t predict his exact words, but I’m sure it would have ended with a beheading or evisceration of some sort.  I suppose one day they’ll be dancing to songs about Pol Pot and Idi Amin.

Albert’s Negrita – “That’s The Ball” (1976) Germany

I think there’s something wrong with me.  I actually really, really like this.  The song makes no sense whatsoever, it’s alarmingly repetitive, and involves no musical talent or skill whatsoever.  Maybe I’ve just listened to one too many disco songs, or maybe I’m coming down with a bad fever  – whatever the reason, I dig this track.  I don’t know a thing about it, except that it sounds like it comes from a German porno.  And if it wasn’t, it should have.

Penny McLean – “Lady Bump” (1975) Austria

Was this a prelude to Fergie’s humps, her lovely lady lumps?  In typical disco fashion, the lyrics are wonderfully bad:

They call me lady bump lady bump
It’s no lie – aaaaaaaah
Lady bump, lady bump –
Just the music takes me high.

Actually, the “aaaaaah” should read “AHHHHHH!!!!!!” – Penny really lays a eardrum shattering screech to that bit.

Svenne & Lotta – “Funky Feet” (1976) Sweden

Deciding it sounded too much like “Dancing Queen”, ABBA opted to include this on their album, sending it to fellow Swedes, Svenne & Lotta, instead.  This is truly a piece of disco dynamite, but one can’t help but wonder what Frida and Agnetha could have done with it.  Their vocals would have sent this track to another dimension of disco heaven.

The Duskeys – “Here Today, Gone Tomorrow” (1982) Ireland

I can’t help it.  This just makes me want to put on a tight gold lame leisure suit, do a line of cocaine, and hit the discothèque.

Oh, wait. This is Irish disco.  Make that – drink a pint of ale then hit the discothèque… then do a line of cocaine.  (Glad we cleared that up.)

Sophie & Magaly – “Papa Penguin” (1980) France

“I Am The Walrus” is easily one of the most complex songs ever recorded, and “Papa Penguin” is easily one of the simplest.  I guess you could say they are the Walrus and Penguin are Polar opposites……. Get it? Polar?  (insert crickets chirping)

My apologies.

Chilly – “For Your Love” (1978) Germany

Who would have guessed a Yardbird classic would translate so well to disco?  I understand this may be utterly offensive to rock purists; but, if you even have a passing appreciation for disco, you’ll have to agree this is solid gold.  I would admit that I enjoy it more than the original, but I like to avoid being verbally assaulted whenever possible.

Raffaella Carra – “Pedro” (1980) Italy

The song itself is nothing particularly special; however, the male dancer outfits in this music video are special indeed.  And by “special” I mean “hilariously awful”.  They look like flamboyantly gay superhero private detectives who work in Willy Wonka’s factory.  If that description makes no sense, have a look.  All will become clear.

Jumbo – “City Girls” (1977) Germany

I included this song simply because the album cover is one of the greatest artistic creations ever conceived.  Before you leave this article, I recommend you stare at this cover for a minimum of ten minutes, and let its awesomeness wash over you.  When it changes your life forever, don’t forget to leave a comment at the bottom of this post.   I don’t ask for much – your eternal gratitude is more than enough.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 3rd, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment

Watch Philip Seymour Hoffman Rock Three Parts In The Fifteen Minute Hamlet

IN 1995, Philip Seymour Hoffman played Bernardo, Horatio and Laertes in Todd Louiso’s 1995 version of Tom Stoppard’s 1976 play The Fifteen Minute Hamlet. Stoppard has enjoyed a hit with his Hamlet spin-off Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. In this play, Stoppard strips down Shakespeare’s play into 13 minutes – plus a two-minute encore.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, February 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment

A Black Gnostic Introduction To Sun Ra And His Archestra: Space Is the Place For Saturn’s Angel Race

BEFORE cosmic ordering became the celebrities’ guiding light, there was Sun Ra, jazz maestro of Saturn’s Angel Race. He was not from Earth. He was from Saturn. Sun Ra was born into Alabama’s deep segregation. He was named Herman Poole Blount. But as he said: “That’s an imaginary person, never existed … Any name that I use other than Ra is a pseudonym.”

Don’t call me Herman

Sun Ra was the cosmic leader of  The Solar Myth Arkestra, His Cosmo Discipline Arkestra, the Blue Universe Arkestra, The Jet Set Omniverse Arkestra and all manner of Arkestras. The line-ups changed to reflect his changing music. Right now, the Sun Ra Arkestra boasts over 20 “tone scientists”.

The Arkestra were for hire. Take a card:

Want to hear him?

Filmed in Chicago & finished in 1959, The Cry of Jazz is filmmaker, composer and arranger Edward O. Bland’s polemical essay on the politics of music and race – a forecast of what he called “the death of jazz.”

 

Anorak

Posted: 1st, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)

Mic Wright’s Remotely Furious: Whatever Wollaston, Outnumbered Is Alright By Me

The cast of Outnumbered Tyger Drew-Honey, Hugh Dennis, Ramona Marquez, Daniel Roche and Claire Skinner as they are calling it quits after a fifth and final series.

I’M not supposed to like Outnumbered. I’m meant to pull a Jeremy Paxman-style rubbery horse face of disgust [(c) The Thick Of It]. But I won’t. Because I quite like Outnumbered. It’s a slightly shabby suburban Seinfeld in which a fairly ordinary family’s life plays out quite slowly albeit it with rather more gooning about than the average mother with accept on any given day. Andy Hamilton and Guy Hamilton are a talented writing team and their cast are solid actors, including the youngest of them who have grown up in the show.

Anorak

Posted: 1st, February 2014 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment

Man Buried Riding His Harley-Davidson Motorcycle – Photos

BILL Standley of Mechanicsburg, Ohio, has died. He was 84. He’s been laid to rest in a plexiglass / wood coffin while “riding” his 1967 Harley-Davidson motorcycle. He is , for safety’s sake, wearing a leather jacket, boots and helmet.

The Columbus Dispatch notes:

It was a funeral he started planning 18 years ago, well before he could have known about the lung cancer that killed him on Sunday at age 84. This was his dream,” said one of his daughters, Dorothy Brown. “He was a one-of-a-kind.”

“If you stopped by his house, he showed you his casket,” says his son Roy Standley to the Dayton Daily News. “He was proud of it.”

Five embalmers prepared his body and secured him with a metal back brace and straps to ensure he’d never lose his seat on his beloved bike, even as it was towed by a trailer to his final resting place. The casket was assembled in the garage of Vernon’s’ funeral home in Mechanicsburg, enshrining him with his trophies and well-worn leathers.

 

Theresa Adams, Bill Standley’s daughter.

David Morales Colón was embalmed on his wide.

Spotter: Laughing Squid, Daily Mail

Anorak

Posted: 1st, February 2014 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment

In 1964 Isaac Asimov Made These Predictions On The World In 2014

IN 1964 Isaac Asimov was wondering about the future. What would the world be like 50 years hence? Asimov put down his idea for the The New York Times. Of course, this professor of biochemistry at Boston University wrote hundreds of books and letters. Maybe if you trained 500 monkeys to write sci-fi and fantasy one of them would crete a cogent vision for mankind in 2064.

(One report calculates that for the 35 years after the mid 1950s, Asimov belted out 90 words a minute, eight hours a day, seven days a week.)

But Asimov was not in the habit of making random words into lucky patterns. Well, not always. He did say: “I write as a result of some inner compulsion, and I’m not always in control of it.”

Motorcars never have woken in the night to race off to auto sex orgies.

On August 16, 1964, Asimov shared with NY Times’ readers his reactions to a visit to the World’s Fair 0f 2014. The Worlds;’ Fair had opened in New York. His writing was on a theme.

Anorak

Posted: 31st, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2)

She Devil Amanda Knox Murdered Like Eichmann: Third Time Lucky For Meredith Kercher

AMANDA Knox and Raffaele Sollecito did murder British student Meredith Kercher, in Perugia, Italy. Today an appeals court in Florence upheld the convictions of U.S. student Knox and her ex-boyfriend for the November 2007 murder of her British roommate. Knox was sentenced to 28 1/2 years in prison, raising the specter of a long legal battle over her extradition. After nearly 12 hours of deliberation Thursday the court reinstated the guilty verdict first handed down against Knox and Raffaele Sollecito in 2009.

He was sentenced to 15 years in prison.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (5)

10 Dream Jobs For 1970s Men

CONSIDER me your 1970s guidance counsellor. I’m not going to recommend civil engineering or medical school. Those careers are all well and good, but save them for the 1980s when it’s all about the paycheck.  No, we’re smack dab in the Twilight Zone (AKA the 70s) when the Baby Boomers are breaking out on their own, the sexual revolution is in full swing, drugs are highly encouraged, and blue collar is king. If you’re a man and want to enjoy the 1970s to their fullest extent, take heed of my advice.  Choose one of these career paths, and all will be groovy.

10.  Fitness Instructor

It doesn’t matter that you have no idea what you’re doing – when it comes to physical fitness, no one does. It’s the seventies – they don’t even know how to pronounce “jogging” –

 Veronica and I are trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it’s jogging or yogging. It might be a soft j. I’m not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It’s supposed to be wild.

– Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 30th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Checking The Daily Mail: I Heard It Through The Hate Vine

WOMEN don’t have any agency. They don’t choose to have children nor are they capable of rejecting the advances of rich men. Women are wombs to be squirted in to and then used. Women are basically cattle. Welcome to the world of the Daily Mail as most recently articulated by the paper’s newest woman-who-hates-woman, Sarah Vine.

Shipped in to throw shade like an angry ancient oak, Vine’s latest target is Hugh Grant, an old enemy of the Daily Mail’s whose campaigning with Hacked Off has further enraged the potato-faced Paul Dacre. As it goes I don’t agree with Grant’s characterisation of the press, his advocacy for regulatory regimes that would bring the press dangerously close to state control nor his belief that he’s above scrutiny. However, Sarah Vine’s characterisation of his private life, the women he is involved with and his children is vile.

Mic Wright

Posted: 30th, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)

How The Beatles Hypnotized Western Youth To Fight For Russia In The Cold War

IN 1974 the Reverend David A. Noebel put  own in words his thought on The Beatles. These thoughts were deep enough to form an entire book, The Marxist Minstrels: A Handbook on Communist Subversion of Music.

Who is Rev. Noebel? We turn to the back of the book:

Rev. David Noebel, Associate Evangelist of Billy James Hargis and Dean of the Christian Anti-Communist Summer University, The Summit, Manitou Springs, Colorado, is the author of this excellent study. When Dr. Hargis discovered Rev. Noebel and recognized his leadership ability, the author of this book was pastor of a Bible Church in Madison, Wisconsin, where he was also working on his Doctorate of Philosophy at the University of Wisconsin. Rev. Noebel enthusiastically joined Dr. Hargis’s team and has become a leading spokesman for Christian Crusade in recent months.

That same year, he penned Rock ‘N’ Roll: A Prerevolutionary Form of Cultural Subversion.

These followed other works, like the 1966 panic reader Rhythm Riots and Revolution and 1969’s The Beatles: A Study in Drugs, Sex and Revolution. The artwork on this is fabulous.

But Communism, Hypnotism, and The Beatles is hard to beat. In it we learn:

“And, since our teenagers under Beatlemania will actually riot, it is imperative to understand the basic underlying philosophy of the Beatles. Are they susceptible to the enemies of our Republic?”

The subtitle to his insight is “Analysis of the Communist Use of Music – the Master Plan”.

The Beatles as Communists? The Beatles who sang:

Let me tell you how it will be,
There’s one for you, nineteen for me,
‘Cause I’m the Taxman,
Yeah, I’m the Taxman.
Should five per cent appear too small,
Be thankful I don’t take it all.
‘Cause I’m the Taxman,
Yeah, I’m the Taxman.

(If you drive a car ), I’ll tax the street,
(If you try to sit ), I’ll tax your seat,
(If you get too cold ), I’ll tax the heat,
(If you take a walk ), I’ll tax your feet.
Taxman.

You see, rock ‘n’ roll is making your Communists and gay. Pop is  “un-Christian, mentally unsettling, revolutionary and a medium for promiscuity”.

And that’s why we love it!

In 1965, Newsweek covered Noebel in an article called Beware The Red Beatles:

Fluoridation, mental-health programs, and the United Nations are, as every Right-thinking fundamentalist well knows, insidious Communist plots to soften up America for the Bolshevik takeover. But by dint of ‘hard intelligence’, a 28-year-old Wisconsin preacher, on tour for Billy Hargis’s Christian Crusade says he has unearthed a more subtle Communist ploy -the Beatles.

“In the excitatory state that the Beatles place these youngsters into, these young people will do anything they are told to do . . . One day when the revolution is ripe,’ the minister warns in dark, apocalyptic tones, ‘they [the communists] could put the Beatles on TV and [they] could mass hypnotize the American youth. This scares the wits out of me.”

Writes Noebel:

The Communists, through their scientists, educators and entertainers, have contrived an elaborate, calculating and scientific technique directed at rendering a generation of American youth useless through nerve-jamming, mental deterioration and retardation. The plan involves conditioned reflexes, hypnotism and certain kinds of music. The results, destined to destroy our nation, are precise and exacting. Little wonder the Kremlin maintains it will not raise the Red flag over America—the Americans will raise it themselves. If the following scientific program destined to make our children mentally sick is not exposed, mentally degenerated Americans will indeed raise the Communist flag over their own nation!

Noebel had science to support his theories:

Pavlov experimented with animals in other areas as well, for example, in an area known as artificial neurosis. Here the scientist took healthy animals and using two conditioned reflexes, the excitatory reflex and the inhibitory reflex, caused these healthy animals to break down mentally with cases of artificial neurosis. As we shall see, this is exactly what the Beatles, in particular, and rock and roll, in general, are doing to our teenagers’.

You want more?

Former rock player, Bob Larson, in conjunction with a physician, offers some light on the relationship between hard rock and promiscuous sex. He contends that the low frequency vibrations of the bass guitar, coupled with the driving beat of the drum, have a decided effect upon the cerebralspinal fluid. The fluid in turn affects the pituitary gland which directs the secretion of hormones, resulting in an abnormal balance of primarily the sex and adrenalin hormones. Instead of their normal regulatory function in the body, these hormones secreted under such conditions produce radical changes in the blood sugar and calcium of the body. Since the brain is nourished exclusively by blood sugar, it ceases to function properly, causing moral inhibitions to either drop to a dangerous low or be wiped out altogether. (Former rock player, Bob Larson, in conjunction with a physician, offers some light on the relationship between hard rock and promiscuous sex. He contends that the low frequency vibrations of the bass guitar, coupled with the driving beat of the drum, have a decided effect upon the cerebralspinal fluid. The fluid in turn affects the pituitary gland which directs the secretion of hormones, resulting in an abnormal balance of primarily the sex and adrenalin hormones. Instead of their normal regulatory function in the body, these hormones secreted under such conditions produce radical changes in the blood sugar and calcium of the body. Since the brain is nourished exclusively by blood sugar, it ceases to function properly, causing moral inhibitions to either drop to a dangerous low or be wiped out altogether.

MORE?

Hermina Eisele Brown, Director of Music Therapy Dept, New Jersey State Hospital, says that primitive rhythms are rarely good as they arouse basic instinct in the emotionally insecure person. Rock and roll has a direct bearing on delinquency since all delinquents are emotionally insecure;

But The Beatles as Communists… Really?

But our younger children are not the only ones being tampered with by the Communists. Our teenager is also being exploited. Exploited for at least three reasons: (a) his own demoralization; (b) to create in him mental illness through artificial neurosis and (c) to prepare him for riot and ultimate revolution in order to destroy our American form of government and the basic Christian principles governing our way of life.

Four young men, noted for their tonsils and tonsure, are helping to bring about the above. When the Beatles conducted their “concert” in Vancouver, British Columbia, 100 persons were stomped, gouged, elbowed and otherwise assaulted during a 29-minute performance.

Nearly 1,000 were injured in Melbourne, Australia; in Beirut, Lebanon, fire hoses were needed to disperse hysterical fans. In the grip of Beatle fever, we are told the teenagers weep, wail and experience ecstasy-ridden hysteria that has to be seen to be believed. Also, we are told teenagers “bite their lips until they bleed and they even get over-excited and take off their clothes.” To understand what rock and roll in general and the Beatles in particular are doing to our teenagers, it is necessary to return to Pavlov’s laboratory. The Beatles’ ability to make teenagers take off their clothes and riot is laboratory tested and approved. It is scientifically labeled mass hypnosis and artificial neurosis.

And not just The Beatles:

The music isn’t “art-form” at all, but a very destructive process. Teenage mental breakdown is at an all time high and juvenile delinquency is nearly destroying our society. Both are caused in part by emotional instability which in turn is caused in part by destructive music such as rock and roll and certain kinds of jazz. But no matter what one might think about the Beatles or the Animals or the Mindbenders, the results are the same—a generation of young people with sick minds, loose morals and little desire or ability to defend themselves from those who would bury them.

And:

The Beatles’ public pronouncements, in the main, could not please this socialist-communist coterie more and, therefore, although the Beatles might not fully understand all the ramifications of their usefulness, they have been considered more than acceptable by the Left. Hence, rock’n’roll in general and the Beatles in particular have a special significance to the disrupters of society for their promotion of drugs, avant-garde sex and atheism. The revolu- tion, though sometimes veiled, is fundamentally against Christianity and Christianity’s moral concepts. Karl Marx sought to dethrone God before he set out to destroy capitalism. Since the rebellion or revolution not only sustains, but feeds on the sexual revolution, it is quite natural that the revolutionaries are against morality and Biblical Christianity which impedes the sexual revolution . . . There is good reason, therefore, why the Red revolution- ists who are dedicated to attacking Christianity and the morals of Christianity look to the Beatles as their ‘cultural heroes’. Of course, to the naive and uninitiated, the Beatles simply appear as four, fine, wholesome, uplifting musicians, but to those who peer at the clenched fisted, radical revolutionists on our college campuses (and their useful idiots), the Beatles take on a vastly different hue and tone.

What to do? What to do? Your writer knew:

In conclusion, it seems rather evident to this writer that the communists have a master music plan for all age brackets of American youth. We know from documented proof that such is the case for babies, one- and two-year-olds with their rhythmic music; we know such is the case for school children with their rhythmic music and for university students with their folk music.4 What but rock and roll fits the teenager? This isn’t saying that the communists have invented rock and roll or any other type of music, but they do in fact know how to use each type for their own purpose

.Throw your Beatle and rock and roll records in the city dump. We have been unashamed of being labeled a Christian nation; let’s make sure four mop-headed anti-Christ beatniks don’t destroy our children’s emotional and mental stability and ultimately destroy our nation as Plato warned in his Republic.

He wasn’t alone. When John Lennon me his quip about Jesus being smaller than The Beatles, records were torched. “Christianity will go,” said Lennon. “It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue about that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first — rock ‘n’ roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.”

In 1p82. Noebel retuned The Fab Four with his screed The Legacy of John Lennon: Charming or Harming a Generation?. In 2006, Noebel wrote that these “pied-pipers from Liverpool led tens of thousands straight into the drug culture and sexual revolution. Indeed, Lennon’s gospel was a gospel of freedom without God, moral boundaries or adult responsibility. His mantra of ‘give peace a chance’ was merely a cloak to cover his drug-drenched lifestyle, promiscuity (free love) and Marxist/socialist revolution.”

Such are the facts…

Anorak

Posted: 29th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment

15 Wonderfully Awful Album Covers For Your Viewing Displeasure

THE 1960s through the 1980s saw a flood of low budget albums released around the globe. It seemed all you needed to make a record was some loose change and poor decision making skills. Indeed, much of what landed on record store shelves can only be described as deeply regrettable.  Of course, this endless variety of awfulness is what makes record collecting so enjoyable 30+ years later.

I won’t pretend to even scratch the surface of the worst of the worst in this article. Instead, here’s a random handful of 15. Enjoy!

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 29th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)

Pete Seeger: Photos And A Great 1947 Film Tribute To The American Folk Great

– In this Aug. 28, 1948 file photo, former Vice President and 1948 Progressive Party presidential candidate, Henry A. Wallace, making a political tour of the south, listens to Pete Seeger, on a plane between Norfolk and Richmond. Seeger’s influence is incalculable. He’s the rare artist whose music and message transcends time, speaking to his children and their children and on and on. The son of a socialist musicologist and a violinist, he began leading others in song at 8 and was introduced to protest music around 12. (AP Photo, File)

LAST night in New York Pete Seeger died. He was 94. The patrician captured the mood of the masses. As it says on his website:

Anorak

Posted: 28th, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment

Tech Rewind: Before Phones Got Smart

TECHNOLOGY has been rocketing along so quickly, it’s difficult to put on the breaks, stop for a moment and get a perspective.  Sometimes you just need to dig your heels in and take a look backward.  As the current rushes you madly onward, it may do you good to just pause and see how far we’ve come in such a short amount of time.

Taking a look at progress in technology as whole is much too broad; our heads will likely explode if we try and take it all in.  Instead, let’s just look at your phone – that thin little rectangle you have in your pocket or are looking at right now…

It can do more than Hubot could ever dream of.  And while it is unlikely Hubot was capable of dreaming, it could play AM/FM radio, check the temperature, tell the time, and play Atari 2600 games.  Hubot came with a price tag of $3495 in 1981 – adjusted for inflation that comes to $8957 (£5432).  For that kind of price, Hubot better be able to do dishes, kill intruders, and stimulate pleasure centers on command.

Alas, it did not.  But let’s look at a single function on your mobile device that you likely take for granted: voice messages.

To read this advert, it sounds as though your very life is going to change thanks to an answering machine.  Indeed, the Phone Butler will rid you of your cumbersome existence, and introduce you to the jet-setting world of recorded phone messages.

Now you can spend your vacations and nights out on the town with complete ease, knowing that all your calls and messages are being handled efficiently, and are waiting at home for you!…. Don’t worry about missing calls while you’re out doing yard work, in the shower, shopping, sunbathing, or socializing with the neighbors, you’ll never have to make a run for the phone again!

It’s hard to imagine that something as commonplace as voice messaging was sold as an answer to prayers just a few decades back.  That would be like saying having no phone cord was a miracle of science – hey, what a sec…

 

“You see, with our cordless phone you’re not tied down by the cord – because there is no cord!”

No longer was mankind tethered; he was free to roam from patio to garage to toilet with splendid freedom.  Advertisements announced this latest break with great fanfare.  Of course, no longer being “tethered” meant you were also never out of reach.  So, in a twist of fate, going cordless resulted in less freedom.  Who knew?

In the ‘80s, you knew you “made it” if you could conduct business from your tub… preferably while sporting a self-important smirk.  Once again, the advertisers are driving the point home that your tech devices no longer require terminals – they are wherever you are.  Our younger generations will never know the type of world where you have designated phone and computer locations – things haven’t just become portable, they are damn near bodily appendages.

Another thing future generations will never know is the telephone queue.  The very thought of actually having to wait your turn to use a phone is madness.  But there’s a flipside to this:  If you knew you had to spend a painful amount of time waiting in line every time you had to make a call, wouldn’t you use the phone less?  And if so, might you be doing something more enriching or enjoyable with the time?

That’s crazy talk.  Let’s move on.

One thing that we’ve all collectively dreamed about in our science fiction is the “video phone”.  Every futuristic depiction worth its salt had one.  Of course, now Skype, Face Time and the like are just boring parts of life – no more shocking than your washing machine or toaster oven.  Who would have thought that a technology so anticipated would so quickly be taken for granted?

Well, we could stand in amazement at the many examples of brilliant communications technologies which have become mundane overnight.  However, the current is quickly pulling us onward.  No time to linger in quiet appreciation; in the time it took you to read this article, at least three of your tech devices have gone obsolete.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 28th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Technology, The Consumer | Comment

How To Behave In 1920s New York: An Illustrated Guide

VISITORS to 1920s NYC  could study the Valentine’s City of New York: A Guide Book. As any reader of P.G. Wodehouse’s Psmith, Journalist will now full well, New York was a dangerous place back then, overrun by gangs, slum landlords and shysters.

Anorak

Posted: 27th, January 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment

There Used To Be A Chelsea Drugstore On The King’s Road

A drugstore in King’s Road, Chelsea, London, which has a cocktail bar and a boutique. PA/PA Archive/Press Association Images

THESE days the King’s Road looks not unlike many other high-streets across the country, albeit a bit posher. If you stroll down the road you’ll see, just like anywhere else, Boots, WH Smiths and the ubiquitous coffee-shop chains. In fact, always a trend-setter, the King’s Road was where Starbucks chose to open its first ever UK coffee-shop just fifteen or so years ago in 1998. Of course it has a McDonald’s like anywhere else but the King’s Road McDonalds is a bit different to most – it used to be the Chelsea Drugstore.

Rob Baker

Posted: 27th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)

Canada Bans Mr Badger’s Penguins: Let’s Club Them To Death

CANADA has closed it borders to Marmite, Irn Bru, Bovril and Penguin bars.

A Mr – get this – Tony Badger,  owner of a British foods shop in Saskatoon, central Canada, says his goods have been impounded. He told CKOM news: ““My understanding was we were importing legally. We’ve been declaring it through a customs broker and we’ve never had an issue until now.”

Here’s a look around the shop, with authentic 1950s intermission music in keeping with the general theme of Canada being 60 years behind the UK:

Anorak

Posted: 24th, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)

6 Awkward and Bizarre Game Show Moments

WE’VE all seen the lists of top ten outrageous game show moments.  This isn’t one of those.  I’m not interested in zany answers or your standard cheesy game show tomfoolery.  We’re looking at those moments that just leave you feeling uncomfortable.

RIOTOUS REACTION TO WOMAN’S PANTIES

A “Match Game” contestant in a miniskirt bends over to hug a celeb whilst flashing the TV audience her undergarments.  Nothing alarming about that – what is alarming is the rapturously orgasmic reaction from McLean Stephenson and host Gene Rayburn.  You’d think they just simultaneously won the lottery and the World Cup.  I’ve never seen such jubilation at the sight of a woman’s panties.  Alas, it was the 1970s, and people just acted… different.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 24th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts | Comment

Victoria Line Suspended Because Workmen Poured Concrete Into Control Room – Photos

WHY is a part of the Victoria Line suspended? The line on the London Underground is not working well. Why not?

Well, the story goes that a team of engineers poured fast-setting concrete into the signalling equipment room. Yeah, the Tube has been closed due to industrial action.

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)

Crime Fighting with Twinkies: Comic Book Superheroes Turn To Sugary Cream-Filled Cake

MANY of you will remember the Hostess snack adverts that appeared in comic books throughout the 70s.  They all had the same basic story: a villain is subverted from his diabolical plan by a well-known superhero… and the help of a sugary cream-filled cake.

This may be genius marketing (after all, comic books and junk food go well together), but it’s also a bit troubling because it calls a few things into question:

1. Exactly how special are our superheroes (Batman, Spider-Man, etc.) when all it takes to vanquish an arch-enemy is a box of Twinkies?  Subsequently, doesn’t this call into question the severity of the threats in the first place? I mean, if Lex Luthor can be stopped by a package of sugary sweets, what does this say about his evil villain status?
2. What ingredients are in these treats?  These superheroes and villains possess incredible powers, yet it’s the snack cake that wins every time.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)

Checking The Mail: Mail Online Talking About Toxicity Online Is Like Cigarette Companies Worrying About Smog

The Daily Mail worrying about self-harm sites that prey on young women with self-esteem issues is like tobacco companies wringing their hands about car exhausts. The Mail traffics daily in the minute inspection of women’s bodies and the idea that they can never be right. No matter how beautiful the star, no matter how lovely her skin is, how styled she is, how impeccably turned out she is, The Mail will find a flaw to obsess over, a moment when she went outside without makeup, a time on the beach where the camera angle was unflattering.

How dare The Daily Mail, of all places, run stories decrying the “toxic online world” when it is so toxic it practically glows with hatred and judgment. Its latest target is Tumblr. Its latest vehicle for its manufactured outrage is the death of a 15-year-old and the understandable grief, rage and incomprehension of the girl’s mother. Of course, it’s important that the Mail notes that the girl was “privately-educated” and lived in a house worth £1 million.

Mic Wright

Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

The Trolling Sun And Bullying Ulrika Johnson Call Stan Collymore A ‘Vile Hypocrite’ Over Twitter Abuse – Oh, The Irony

Ulrika Jonsson, pictured in her car near her Cookham Dean home the morning after she was attacked by boyfriend Stan Collymore in a Paris bar Date: 09/06/1998

THE Sun’s columnist Ulrika Johnson was once punched in the face by her then lover Stan Collymore. The footballer-turned radio DJ has been complaining of being abused and threatened by his fellow tweeters. He invited all tweeters – and his half a million followers – to tell the police about any abuse by anyone with a Twitter “hate profile”.

Collymore wanted the State to clamp down on internet offensiveness.

He said:

“In the last 24 hours I’ve been threatened with murder several times, demeaned on my race, and many of these accounts are still active. Why? I accuse Twitter directly of not doing enough to combat racist/homophobic /sexist hate messages, all of which are illegal in the UK.”

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Manchester United Manager David Moyes Reveals His 10 Tips For Penalty Success

WHEN Manchester United lost a penalty shoot-out to Sunderland in last night’s League Cup semi-final, we remembered a 2010 article he wrote for the Times:

David Moyes: How to win a penalty shootout

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, manchester united, Sports | Comment