Money Category
Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
The Easiest And Hardest Jobs In The World: 2 Videos
FROM the people (us) who brought you a video of the Hardest Job in The World (repeated below – and it is a must see), we bring you the Easiest Job in The World – Escalator cleaning at Shanghai Pudong Airport.
You can do this.
And the hardest:
Posted: 30th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment
Segway Owner’s Fatal Accident Joins List Of Corporate Fails: Ratner Still Wins
WHEN Segway owner Jimi Heselden drove his motorised scooter off a cliff and died, he joined a long list of corporate leaders who have managed to make their product look less than great. We present a selection of epic corporate fails: Hoover, Tony Hayward, David Shepherd; John Schnatter and the great Gerald Ratner…
GERALD RATNER
GERALD RATNER In 1991, Gerald Ratner, head of the eponymous Ratners jewellers, addressed the Institute of Directors: "We also do cut-glass sherry decanters complete with six glasses on a silver-plated tray that your butler can serve you drinks on, all for £4.95. People say, 'How can you sell this for such a low price?', I say, 'because it's total crap'." Also earrings sold by Ratners were "cheaper than an M&S prawn sandwich, but probably wouldn't last as long". And so 18 months later he left the firm – what was left of it. The day before his comments, the company had announced record pre-tax profits of £110m, bucking the consumer recession. It was even on the verge of buying Dixons, the electrical chain. Within weeks, £500m was wiped off the company value and Ratner was forced out of the firm with a £375,000 pay off. The company, which plunged into a £122m loss, was renamed Signet to expunge Ratner's name from the nation's memories. Not that everyone saw it coming. Says Ratner: “I’d not been home long when Charles Saatchi called. ‘There’s a fantastic piece in the Evening Standard,’ he said. ‘There’s a good line about you calling some of your products crap. It works really well. You come across as a really great guy with a good sense of humour. It’s terrific PR.’”
Lehman Brothers Art Sale: Turn Your Downstairs Toilet Into A Bank
LEHMAN Brothers, that monolith of banking that Gordon Brown sucked up to and then went bust, had a nice collection of art. Because, hey, readers, how can you run a bank if you don’t have expensive art on the walls? You can’t.
At Christie’s, anyone wanting to start their own bank can buy the art that once adorned the walls and offices of the British and European arms of the former banking powerhouse before being declared bankrupt in 2008.
You can even buy the sign that once hung over the door and turn your downstairs toilet into a merchant bank (Lucky Pin not supplied)…
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Posted: 24th, September 2010 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Intel Drops Staffers Off Building In Romania: Video
INTEL has been dropping staffers from a high building. You middle-managers can only look on in envy.
Sexy Jenny Quits Her Job On Whiteboards And Gets Work At Anorak (In Pictures)
STEVEN Slater, the JetBlue trolley dolly who quit his job in spectacular style has a rival called Jenny. She used messages on a whiteboard to address her colleagues. She wants them to know that her boss Spencer has a bad temper and smelly breath. She claims Spencer called her a “hot piece of ass” in an overheard phone call – although he used the acronym “H.O.P.A.” (Hell Of a Pain in the Ass?). Jenny heard what she wanted to hear. Jenny is nothing if she is not vain.
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Hells Angels Leader Falls Fouls Of Failed Benefits System
IN Luleå, Sweden, Kent Nilsson, a Hells Angels gang leader has fallen foul of the local benefits agency – he’s been nicked the Insurance Agency for committing crime while on sick pay for a bad back. The argument goes that if his back was bad he would not have been able to commit crimes he’d been sentenced for.
Nilsson, who has been claiming State benefits since 1998, sad his back was so bad he could not endure long car rides. Earlier in court he had been convicted of smuggling alcohol after travelling in a car from northern Sweden to Germany. That was after he’d loaded up a car with loadsa booze.
Nilsson has until August 28th to pay back 1.4 million kronor after which time he will be charged additional interest.
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Posted: 7th, August 2010 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Billionaires Give Away Money But Will Muddle Along On Remaining Billions
BILL Gates and Warren Buffett (£96bn combined) have led a The Giving Pledge campaign that will see 40 billionaires give away half their fortunes to charity and “good causes”. If this still leaves you with a billion or more in the bank, then grandstanding your generosity – you get to write letter explaining how nice you are to the world – may not lead to a big reduction in living standards for the donors.
And then the donors can pledge to give the money after they die. Sign up now and Buffett will stop asking you to sign up. Although if you delay singing up long enough he may start offering inducements, like a free tumbler, a free tumbler factory or to have France renamed in your honour.
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Billingsgate Protest Is Chance For Union To Flex Muscles
THE fish men of London’s Billingsgate Market in London are demonstrating against planned changes to the way the market is run by the City of London Corporation. Members of Unite at the historic market said they were fighting for their jobs because of proposed changes to the licensing of employees. namely the porters. Says the union:
“Licensed porters are central to the character and success of Billingsgate market. Their knowledge of the market, understanding of products, sizes and grades as well as commitment to the job make porters the life and soul of the market. The Corporation of London’s changes, if implemented, will damage how the market functions, ruin Billingsgate and destroy the market’s heritage. Unite is arguing there is absolutely no reason to suddenly change what has worked for centuries.”
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Working Past 65 Is Not A Right For Partners But Is A Media Scare sTory
EMPLOYMENT law news now, readers, The Express leads with news that “Workers can be forced out at 65”.
Or as the Mail puts it on its front page:
“NOW THE RIGHT TO WORK PAST 65.”
Says the Mail:
Workers will no longer be forced to retire at 65 from next year under radical Government proposals to be unveiled today…
From next October, it will be illegal for firms to get rid of staff when they reach 65, allowing millions who are facing retirement to stay on, the Daily Mail has learned.
Says the Express:
MILLIONS of workers face being thrown out of their jobs when they reach 65 after a landmark legal ruling yesterday. Employers will be able to force staff to retire against their will if they can prove it will help younger employees, the Court of Appeal ruled.
The Express’s featured case is based on one Mr Leslie Seldon. He was forced to retire his role as partner at Clarkson Wright and Jakes, in Orpington, Kent, a law firm where he had worked as a civil litigator for 35 years. His removal was “in line with his partnership agreement”.
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Posted: 29th, July 2010 | In: Money | Comment (1)
BP Urged To Pump More Bullshit Into News Gulf: Greenpeace Moves Bowels
THE sign outside the BP service station on Hampstead Road, London, says: “Closed. Moving beyond petroleum.”
Moving beyond petroleum… OK. But as a slogan it goes only halfway. What are we moving on towards? And how are we moving there? Are we moving on tofu? Clockwork? Bollocks? Can bollocks make energy? What about lies and information? If lies were info, BP shares would be surely soaring with every photoshop gush.
BP today announced losses of £11bn for the second quarter of this year and confirmed chief executive and jobbing Michael Sheen look-alike Tony Hayward will be replaced by Bob Dudley.
Or will he? If bullshit is power, BP needs to up its output.
Says Mr Hayward, displaying once more his gift for language:
“Sometimes you step off the pavement and get hit by a bus.”
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Posted: 28th, July 2010 | In: Money | Comments (4)
Tony Hayward Heads To Russia: Next Stop North Korea
WE spotted BP boss Tony Hayward (a shoo-in to play Michael Sheen in a biopic of the actor’s life) being driven away from the offices of BP, in St James’s Square, central London. The BP man has his life back.
And it’s a life that will be put to use within the group’s Russian joint venture. Yeah, they’re sending him to Russia as a non-executive directorship at TNK-BP.
TNK – Tomorrow North Korea…
Tony Hayward Gets His Life Back In Russia – 11 Others Still Waiting
Does BP Cross Its Fingers And Photoshop The Truth?
BP is doing pretty well in the financial markets. But on the web, the company is faring less well. On the firm’s website, there’s a “View of the MC 252 site from the cockpit of a PHI S-92 helicopter 26 June 2010”.
Only, the picture seems to have been tampered with. Gawker’s Brian Barrett notes the airtraffic control tower is in views, the sea merges two oceans and the “readouts on the dash appear to indicate that that door and ramp are open and the parking brake engaged”.
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In Pictures: Anti-BP Protestors Pour Oil Over BP’s Sponsorship Of Oil Paintings
TO protest at BP’s sponsorship of the arts, demonstrators poured oil and feathers over the entrance to Tate Britain, in Pimlico, central London, which is hosting the Tate Britain summer party. Yep, to highlight how awful BP is at polluting things, demonstrators gave cleaning staff a really horrible job to do on a very hot summer’s day. And as for oil on canvas being unfit for BP to sponsor… Well, you want edgy art? You can’t handle edgy art…
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BP Gulf Judge Martin Feldman’s Oil Stocks
THE BP oil is still spilling in to the Gulf of Mexio. Obama is looking at matters in Afghanistan. Obama’s sacked General Stanley McChrystal for talking to Rolling Stone magazine before Michelle and the kidzz got their photo montage and cover. But the press is looking at Judge Martin Feldman. Tim Worstall looks too:
The judge who overturned deepwater drilling bans allowing BP to resume oilTransocean and other firms in the industry, it was revealed today.
Yesterday, a Louisiana-based judge Martin Feldman ruled that Barack Obama’s six-month drilling moratorium in the Gulf was unjustified because it assumed that all deepwater drilling was as dangerous as BP’s.
The White House promised an immediate appeal.
Meanwhile environmental groups have said Feldman’s ruling may have to be rescinded because of the possible conflict of interests.
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BP Boss Tony Hayward Rides The Oily Gulf Stream At Isle Of Wight Yacht Race: Pictures
EARLIER we reported that BP’s PR nightmare Tony Hayward had a yacht called Bob. The swanky boat was cutting through the Isle of Wight’s waters in the JP Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race. ITV news reports that Hayward was in the vicinity of the yacht.
The Isle of Wight is in the English Channel – a ribbon of sea warmed by the, er, Gulf Stream. The warm water comes from the Gulf of Mexico via the North Atlantic Drift. Might it bring some oil?
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Posted: 19th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (2)
British Petroleum V Obama: Henry Waxman And His League Of Gentlemen
BARACK Obama is grandstanding about British Petroleum. The British must be routed and theier backsides whooped. They are not local, you see. They are not Henry Waxman.
Barack Obama Is Less Popular Than Offshore Drilling: BP News Round-Up
“American environmental disasters for American people!” goes the cry. Says one Obama aide:
We will have American environmental disasters for American corporations, if it’s all the same with you and your tea, Mr Britisher Man. We want none of your imported disaters. If you want to export your toxic wave go to India, lke we did.
The British are not local. Local things for local people eh, Mr Waxman…
The BP Oil Spill Gets A Dead Whale And Barack Obama Alienates America’s Friends
Posted: 18th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (8)
The BP Oil Spill Gets A Dead Whale And Barack Obama Alienates America’s Friends
VICTIMS of the BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill have a totem – a dead 25-ft sperm whale has washed up on the beach. And BP has Joe Barton.
Barack Obama Is Less Popular Than Offshore Drilling: BP News Round-Up
While the UK turns on Obama and realises that all that hope was just hype and hoopla, Americans are moving against their self-serving, grandstanding president.
BP Disaster 2: Carl-Henric Svanberg Feels For The ‘Small People’
Rep. Joe Barton has apoligised to BP at the start of Tony Hayward’s grilling. Hayward is the victim of a £20billion “shakedown”, a “slush fund” with “no legal state“.
Obama has the money. Big Government has the money. Lots of contracts need to be signed to clean the spill. And Big Government can do it better and more openly than corporations with shareholders?
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (10)
BP Disaster 2: Carl-Henric Svanberg Feels For The ‘Small People’
OBAMA’S vanity and desperation versus BP’s unoiled PR machine. It’s one helluva fight. And here comes BP chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg. He’s says:
“I hear comments sometimes that big oil companies are greedy companies and don’t care, but that is not the case with BP. We care about the small people.”
Take that Gulf fishermen and hoteliers. File it away with your small hands in your small homes in your small minds.
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
In other news, there’s a betting market on BP going bankrupt by 2011:
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (8)
The BP Wave – The Fish In Oil Picture
BP has a wave…
via: here and I am Matt Jordan
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (6)
In Photos: Richard Branson’s Dita Von Teese Tongue And Other Women
SIR Richard Branson did not launch Virgin to meet girls. It’s just perk of the job. We spotted Branson celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Virgin Atlantic flights to Las Vegas from London Gatwick by hoisting Dita Von Teese over his shoulder at McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas. He seemed to enjoy it. Just as he’s enjoyed meeting and greeting: Natalie Imbruglia, Kate Moss, Kristen Davies, Katie Price, Maddy Ford, Nell McAndrew and Emma Bunton. Feel the love. Feel it…
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (4)
Obama Moves To Take Over BP’s Goodwill Funds
BP is being taken over by Barack Obama. Well, not all of it – just the bits that do good works and reflect well on…Obama:
White House officials on Sunday said they wanted BP to put “substantial” funds into an escrow account to cover claims by Gulf Coast businesses and residents affected by the spill.
President Barack Obama plans to bring up the idea at a White House meeting Wednesday with top BP executives, including Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg.
The call was echoed by congressional leaders and state officials. In a June 10 letter to BP released on Sunday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D., Nev.) and other Democrats asked BP to establish a $20 billion account, administered by an independent trustee, that would be used to pay the damages and clean-up costs associated with the spill. Florida Governor Charlie Crist and other officials in the Gulf Coast region joined the chorus.
It remained unclear how any such funds would be supervised, in particular who would oversee the compensation decisions. Administration officials on Sunday didn’t comment on the size of the escrow account they will seek, or on where money might come from. Nor did officials detail the legal status of the proposal.
Such a fund would provide a measure of security, proponents argue, for people concerned BP might file for bankruptcy protection or otherwise stop paying claims at some point in the future. It also has the potential to give the government or its designees control of distributing a significant pool of relief money.
Oh, thanks Barack Obama. Cheers for the cash you are redistrubuting. Not your cash – BP’s. And you will do a better job of getting value for money than a big company.
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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (12)
Derahlee Lorenzana’s Cosmetic Surgery Dream To Be Plain: Pictures
MORE news on the banking hotness that is Debrahlee Lorenzana, who claims she was sacked from Citigroup for being too darn sexy.
Is Debrahlee Lorenzana Too Hot And Sexy For Bank Work? Photo Study
Debrahlee does talking on the telly:
“I get harassed in the supermarket with my son just wearing sweatpants with my hair in a ponytail...I can’t help how I look…
“If being less good-looking means being happy and finding love and not being sexually harassed and having a job where no one bothers you and no one questions you because of your looks, then, definitely, I’d want that. I think of that every day.”
The New York Daily News says Debralee was on telly show about plastic surgery in New York. She was the ideal model, we’d wager. The natural dream. As she says:
“That’s what I want to be: tits on a stick.”
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Brighton Council Bans Status Quo Fans From ‘Radical’ Jobs
STATUS Quo fans will not get the chance to work Brighton and Hove City Council. Advert for four exectuive jobs on the Brighton council on the website SayNoToStatusQuo.co.uk “need not apply“.
The £125,000 strategic director posts demand:
“Status Quo fans need not apply”
Status Quo will react with a banner for their Brighton Centre gig that declares:
“Councillors for Brighton and Hove need not attend.”
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BP And Tony Hayward Are Now A Nigerian Scam: Letter
THE BP oil spill in the US Gulf is now a Nigerian scam:
From: Dudley Caruthers Esq (Barrister at Law)
Subject: BP Related Agreement Entitlement
E-mail:
Dear Friend
I am the private solicitor for Mr Tony Hayward, the esteemed Chairman and Chief executive of British Petroleum. My client has various personal and family related holdings of BP stock and options. Due to his faithful long standing service to BP the total value of his holdings amounts to in excess of 100m pounds sterling. Mr Heywood is a British citizen but it has been my sorrowful duty to advise him that his personal and family wealth is at great risk of being wrongfully confiscated by US authorities acting extra-territorially under special powers authorised by the US government and with the secret consent of a supine UK political and legal establishment.
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