Money Category
Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
Catholic Bank Invests In The Contraceptive Pill
PAX Bank is a Roman Catholic bank in Germany. It buys stocks in BAE Systems, tobacco and Wyeth.
Wyeth? You know, the American firm that make the contraceptive pill.
Pope Benedict XVI, a Catholic, has called birth control a “grave sin“.
The bank – Pax means peace – seeks to make profit for its members and has a code of ethics:
PECUNIA ET PAX – THE ETHICS CODEX OF THE PAX BANK – An independent ethics advisory board for the Pax Bank was formed in 2002.
The Pax Bank works with the knowledge that money is a resource which must be earned, expertly administered, and responsibly multiplied, but whose purpose is not fulfilled until it is used for goals beyond the profit motive of the individual and that serve the common good.
The Pax Bank must hence mediate between Church missions, commercial dealings, and ethical requirements. It recognizes its Church origins to the same degree as its economic tasks, viewing corporate responsibility and ethical commitment as a unified whole.
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Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Al Gore Opens Harrod’s Christmas Show
ON the umpteenth day before Christmas. Mohammed Al-Fayed opened Christmas World in Harrods with loadsa fake snow, two Humbolt penguins all the way from the, er, South Pole and a Father Christmas (aka Al Gore), all the way from the er, North Pole, who says that thanks to his beard and robes he was held at customs for 42 days and questioned about links to Al Qaeda…
Snow in London in summer.
Apple Unveils New Exploding iPod
THERE are all manner of applications for your iPhone, and Ellie Stanborough, 11, tells of one that causes your Apple gadget to make a “hissing noise” and go “pop“.
But the allegation is that this is no official Apple app, and the firm did attempt to “silence a father and daughter with a gagging order after the child’s iPod music player exploded and the family sought a refund from the company.”
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New Sunglasses Make Things Brighter: Video
WANT sunglasses that actually make things brighter? Of course you do – with HD Vision wraparounds. It’s European style – only American:
Posted: 2nd, August 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
For Sale: Sofa Where Prince Of Wales Squired His Lover
TO J.P.Humbert Auctioneers, where punters are being offered the chance to buy the settee thought to be possibly the place where the man who would be Edward VIII “met” Mrs Wallis Simpson.
Indeed. While the forensics team swab the sofa, we tell you that the lot is from Burrough Court, which was once the property of Lady Thelma Furness, the woman who preceded Wallis Simpson in the affections of Edward VIII.
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Inland Revenue Worker Steals Nephew’s Trust Fund
RHONA Haslam, 51, stole £52,000 from her nephew Robert Simpson’s trust fund, set up by his father – her brother – shortly before he died.
She left her nephew with less than £300. Had the fun not been plundered it would be worth almost £80,000.
To Bolton Crown Court, Haslam pleads guilty to forgery, obtaining property by deception and three counts of obtaining money by deception. She his given three years choky.
A detective described the case as ‘one of the most horrendous breaches of trust I have had the misfortune to investigate in my 30 year career’. A judge called her conduct ‘despicable’ and said it went against the ‘normal instincts of human nature’.
And Haslam?
Well, she sued to work for the… Inland Revenue.
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Paying VAT On Sex
THIS advert showing a scantily-clad woman tied up with red and white tape with her arms bound to her body did not contravene decency guidelines, the advertising watchdog ruled today.
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Robert Mugabe Caught In $500 Billion Oil Con
ROTINA Mavhunga, who goes by the alias of Nomatter Tagirira is the medicine woman who conned Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe’s government out of about US$1m.
Mavhunga convinced minsters that she could tap diesel fuel from a rock. And she did. Only, it was a trick. No, really.
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Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Creme Betweens Present More Smutty Food Names
HAVING brought you Cock Soup – The 28 Smuttiest Foods Ever, Old Mr Anorak’s annual stock take of the Anderson Shelter brings you Creme Betweens – food laced with innuendo:
Sprite Tastes Like German Sperm: Video
HERE’S a video for Sprite, the soft drink that appears to taste like carbonated German sperm:
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Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Money | Comments (2)
FBI Scuppers Plot To Break Bernie Madoff Free From Jail
BERNIE Madoff is rumoured to have been the inspiration for an alleged plot to bust him out of Butner Federal Prison in North Carolina.
The plan involved five prisoners kneeling down by a wall. On their backs would kneel four more prisoners. On their backs three prisoners. And two more on their backs. Then Bernie would climb to the top and vault the wall.
Bernie’s absconding would create a vacancy to be filled by someone from the second tier who would duly ascend to the top.
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Posted: 16th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (7)
Murdered Honeymooners Used To Advertise US Web Company
THAT’S Ben and Catherine Mullany’s faces – they were murdered at their honeymoon holiday bungalow on Antigua last July – advertising as “happy customers” of MyDishBiz.
Ben and Catherine from Wales appear are now called “Frank and Mary from New York“. And they have a few words for you:
“We have made $1,080 alone with your MyDishBiz internet business opportunity.
“We are very happy with this program(corr). This is the best opportunity we’ve ever seen on line. Thanks again.”
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Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment (1)
London Stockbroker Kills Himself
ANJOOL Malde, a stockbroker who “feared he was about to lose his job”, threw himself from the top of the City’s Coq d’Argent restaurant near the Bank of England.
He was 24.
He had been told by his Deutsche Bank employers on Friday to leave work early following ‘an inquiry into an IT matter’.
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The Green Shirts Are Coming To British Business
THE green shirts are coming:
The boys in green are coming as the Environment Agency sets up a squad to police companies generating excessive CO2 emissions …
Decked out in green jackets, the enforcers will be able to demand access to company property, view power meters, call up electricity and gas bills and examine carbon-trading records for an estimated 6,000 British businesses.
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Coffee Republic Goes Bust
YOU know it’s a recession when… coffee shops begin to close:
The coffee chain Coffee Republic has gone into administration, becoming the latest victim of the economic downturn.
Now look out for the end of Location, Location, Location on the telly and the return of comedy shows…
Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Money | Comments (2)
An Advert For North Korea’s Pride of Pyongyang Beer Advert
TO North Korea, wher those who have not already eaten their TVs are rejoicing to an advert for “Pride of Pyongyang“- the beer that will help ease stress.
“It represents the new look of Pyongyang.”
“It will be a familiar part of our lives.”
“Great with live fish.”
Says full pint Kim Jong-il:
“Watching good quality beer coming out in an uninterrupted flow for a long while, he noted with great pleasure that it has now become possible to supply more fresh beer to people in all seasons.”
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Supermarket Parking Reserved For Hybrid Car Parking
IN Madison, USA, there is a space outside the Whole Foods store reserved for anyone driving a hybrid car. This space is closer to the entrance than the ones for disabled drivers.
Given the threat posed by humanity, you will be unsurprised to know the parent and child parking is seventeen blocks away on the other side of an alligator infested river, raging forest fire and a climate camp.
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Posted: 2nd, July 2009 | In: Money | Comments (5)
The Sexiest Nuns In Adverts Ever
COMPLAINTS – all ten of them – levelled against the Gelato Italiano brand ensure that its adverts featuring a rutting nun and a randy priest has been banned, so earning the company loadsa PR.
Who knew that a sexed-up Bride of Christ as a priest would court controversy? Maybe next time the priest could be pictured throating a cone while taking the choirboys through their paces, there will be even more complaints. Fingers crossed.
Antonio Federici said their campaign was intended to portray the “forbidden Italian temptations” of the brand.
Gazprom And NNPC Create Nigaz
ANYONE who wants to buy shares in Nigaz can do so. Russia’s Gazprom has signed a $2.5bn (£1.53bn) deal with Nigeria’s state operated NNPC, and the new venture is called Nigaz.
Listen out for people taking offence, it being the British hobby. And join a heated debate as to whether Nigaz should now be called N-word and any news on it broadcast after the 9pm wastershed.
Also Look out for brand enthusiasts burning the word in the lawns of leading black oil users…
Posted: 29th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comments (4)
Prince Buster Sings The Bernard Madoff Musical
BERNARD Madoff has been sentenced to 150 years in prison. Madoff is to be a musical.
Take him away, Prince Buster and Judge Dread:
Spotter: Cheryl
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Posted: 29th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comments (7)
Royal Mint Issues 20 pence Coin Worth £50
THE BBC reports that a batch of 20p coins issued with no date on them “could be worth £50 each”.
The BBC says the coins were issued “accidentally”. Although if 20 pence can be worth £50 by leaving off a date then why not repeat the mistake with 1 penny pieces and so turn each little coin in £2.50?
Or, better yet, turn the might £2 coin into £500.
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Posted: 29th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comments (11)
Habitat Introduces The Neda Soltan Twitter Picture Frame
MORE news on Habitat’s interesting use of Twitter and its efforts to ensure the people of Iran that whatever their troubles they can still get their hands on and “arch” Pack of 3 tea towels to help mop up all that blood.
Now Habitat is blaming an “overenthusiastic intern” for using online interest in Iran protests to promote their goods on Twitter. What you might call a company spammer:
“The hashtags were uploaded without Habitat’s authorisation by an overenthusiastic intern who did not fully understand the ramifications of his actions.”
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The Most Suggestive Advert Ever For Burger King’s Seven Incher
HERE’S the most suggestive advert ever, for Burger King’s Super Seven Incher.
“Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled…”
(Click the ad.)
The woman, like the bun, appears to be made of plastic.
And it surely suggests that the beef might be hewn from all the best cuts.
And who does this ad appeal to, besides hacks looking for something to write about?
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Posted: 24th, June 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (3)
Video Of Virgin Atlantic’s 25th Birthday Celebration
VIRIGN Atlantic’s 25th Birthday Celebration is so crayzee that Richard Branson has called upon Chris Biggins and the New of the World’s seance-voiced columnist Carole Malone to help him celebrate.
America does not deserve them.
Listen out for Malone swallowing her champagne in the First Class lounge as eh opines that Virgin is all about opening up flights to the lower classes.
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The Ten Best Money Saving Coupons Ever
IN a bid to save money, Old Mr Anorak has ordered his staff to pass through old magazines at his pulping/puppy mill and rip our all the coupons as his former SAVAK guards look on. Here are the Ten Best coupons:
Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment (1)
