Money Category
Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
Barack Obama Introduces The Lamborghini Challenge
THE Barack Obama Government is set to introduce a new test to see if you are overweight and a fit and proper person to run a nationalised Wall Street institution: The Laborghini Challenge. In this video, a man applies to be the new US director of RBS:
Ikea Conned Out Of Tens Of Millions Of Dollars In Russia
IKEA, the ninth circle of hell, has been conned out of 1.5 billion kronor ($189 million) in Russia. So says company founder Ingvar Kamprad:
“We were completely fooled when it came to electricity and gas deliveries. Something that is going to cost us more than 1.5 billion kronor. I know that this will become a legal matter.”
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The Japanese F-Cup Cookie For Bigger Breasts
IN Japan, you can buy the F-Cup Cookie that should you eat it will increase your breast size. The cookies contain Pueraria Mirifica, a “natural breast enhancer”.
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Asda FAIL
ASDA open 24 hours a day; 9 days a week…
Posted: 20th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comments (2)
Gold Vending Machine Prizes: Gallery
SO inclusive is the new Germany that in those gold vending machines, they have placed something for everyone.
There are gold flakes for her. Gold buckles for him. And for the gypsies – oh, how they love the gypsies – they have gold the likes of which you have never seen:
Posted: 18th, June 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
Fred Goodwin’s Second Home Allowance
FORMER RBS supremo Sir Fred Goodwin has agreed to a 50 per cut in his £700,000 pension – “because he wants to return home to Britain from his £4 million French hideaway.”
The Mail goes on:
The former Royal Bank of Scotland chief has been living in a guarded villa on the Riviera because of public anger at his £703,000-a-year income.
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Posted: 18th, June 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (5)
The Weirdest Vending Machines Dispense Gold, Drugs, Used Panties And Breasts
IN GERMANY, shoppers and any waiting for a train or plane can buy gold from vending machines.
TG-Gold-Super-Markt wants to place machines at 500 locations in Germany to cater for anyone desperate to buy gold at around 30 per cent higher than the spot market prices for the cheapest product.
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Posted: 18th, June 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment (1)
British Airways Loses 10,000 Staff
BRITISH Airways has sent out a missive asking staff to work free for up to one month.
Staff can volunteer to work for one week and one month’s unpaid leave, or do unpaid work.
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World Of Warcraft Does Porn
RUSSIAN porn star Anna Morgan, 19, (which might not be her real name) has been paid $500,000 to carry the words World of Warcraft in tattoo format on her chest.
The tattoo bears the logo and URL MyMMOShop.com, a site selling World of Warcraft Gold goods.
Fantasy-driven teenage boys with priapic tendencies who can’t get a date will get a double whammy of World Of Warcraft and an eyeful of DD breasts.
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Posted: 14th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comments (2)
Hermetically Sealed Underpants
DO you have problem with loud and pungent lower reagions? If you do, then you need to stay in – and get some Under-Ease hermetically sealed pants:
The new 2nd Generation Under-Ease underwear for flatulence is made with the same quality design and soft materials as the original Under-Ease, and is manufactured in the U.S.A. 2nd Generation Under-Ease is made from Fabuthane Laminated Polyester fabric with a breathable film allowing the transport of heat and moisture from the inside to the outside of Under-Ease by the process of diffusion.*
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Turn Your Dead Pet Into A Pillow Or Cushion
WITH Soft-Hearted pillows, Pati Moore invites you to turn you pet’s remains into a comfy pillow to snuggle up with, rest your feet on or just kick about the lounge.
Pati has a question about her pet:
“What is the best way to commemorate her and how can I continue to keep her near?”
A fob?
“The Soft-Hearted Pillow is, in its simplest terms, an Urn Alternative.”
An Urn-ternative.
Until now, pet owners had a singular choice for preserving cremated remains; a solid, stationary urn to be positioned on a shelf, forever still. Now comes a supple, huggable pillow that captures the love and tenderness that pet owners feel for their pets in a secure yet soft, embraceable, warm alternative.
What could be nicer? Fidget is dead. So what do I do now:
Each Soft-Hearted Pillow comes with its own matching drawstring pouch with a satin ribbon. When you receive your pet’s ashes from the crematorium, they will be sealed within a plastic bag inside a tin or cardboard box. Remove the sealed plastic bag from the box and place it inside the drawstring Soft-Hearted Pouch that is included with your Soft-Hearted Pillow. The Soft-Hearted Pouch can then be tucked into the comforting, discreet, zippered pocket within your Soft-Hearted Pillow. Many pet owners find that they do not want to transfer the ashes themselves and chose to have a close friend, family member or even the veterinarian perform the transfer for them*.
*Friend, vet and significant other not supplied.
How do I know that my pet’s ashes will fit into the Soft-Hearted Pillow?
When a pet is cremated, one can expect the volume of ashes to be approximately 1 cubic inch (1”x1”x1”) per pound of body weight and for the total weight to be from 3 to 5 percent of the animal’s body weight. We have successfully accommodated the ashes of pets up to 150 pounds of body weight. Many pet owners have also chosen to only place a portion of a larger pet’s ashes within the Soft-Hearted Pouch to minimize the weight of the Soft-Hearted Pillow and because it is a fine option for those who wish to “share” the ashes between family members or locations.
Everyone gets a leg.
Will I be able to “feel” my pet’s ashes?
The Soft-Hearted Pillow is filled with the finest available fiberfill and the ashes are tucked deeply within the interior of the pillow. Whether or not the ashes can be felt is dependent upon the volume of ashes within the pouch but the only sensation felt is of a firm “center” or “heart” of the pillow. This becomes barely discernable with pets that are under 10 pounds.
Take care with that over-plumping, pet pals.
Why not use the fur as well? you can!
Posted: 12th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comments (9)
Taxpayers Pay Bankers For Advising On Failing Bankers
BECAUSE no-one at the Treasury has a clue how the City works, the failures in the grey suits hired the failures in the pinstripe suits to advise them:
Four City investment banks have charged the Treasury at least £9 million in fees for advising the Government on how to stop the financial system from imploding, The Times has learnt.
In addition, UK Financial Investments (UKFI), the body set up to handle the Government’s bailed-out bank shares, spent £1.2 million of taxpayers’ money in the first five months of operation. It is believed that most of the money was spent on salaries for the handful of officials who operate UKFI, which is designed to be at arm’s length from the Government. UKFI is understood to have low costs outside salaries partly because it uses rooms within the Treasury as its headquarters.
The Treasury hired a swath of investment bankers for advice on how to stabilise the financial system and avert the collapse of more lenders. It also sought advice on how to help investment banks purge themselves of billions of pounds worth of bad debt on their balanace sheets.
Come the revolution, Gordon Brown will set up a department and a Revolution Czar…
Posted: 8th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
US Airlines Introduce Poop-Ons
AMERICAN Airlines wants to know if you’ve been. Have you? American Airlines would like you to go before you, well, go. Don’t worry, the airline can wait. Hurry up.
You see, airlines are seeking to reduce fuel costs by reducing weight on planes. And American Airlines is requiring that all passengers use the bathroom before boarding the plane.
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Wine Fail
A MOST delicious and “appaling” wine…
Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
Spanish Bank Pays Workers Not To Work
BBVA, Spain’s second largest bank, is letting staff to take five years paid leave to cut costs during the recession.
Instead of bank workers, customers will be met with a recorded voice that invites them to press button after button before picking a song that drives them insane.
Five years later the customer dies. But the bank lives.
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The World’s Greatest Anniversary Gift
THIS is the world’s greatest anniversary gift – probably…
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Posted: 2nd, June 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
A Free Goat With Every Mitsubishi Ute
ONE more reason to live in New Zealander (if you know the other one, let us know) as news reaches that Mitsubishi offers free goat with every ute:
MITSUBISHI Motors in New Zealand is offering a free goat with every Triton ute sold before August in a novel effort at correcting the economy.
Mitsubishi Motors New Zealand general sales and marketing manager Peter Wilkins said the economy’s recovery was in the hands of the rural sector, and goats, like Tritons, were “hardy, versatile units which will integrate directly into existing farm operations”.
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Michael Moore Saw The GM Truck Crash Coming
MICHAEL Moore, an ambulatory advert for American consumerism, tells Huffington Post readers that he knew General Motors would fail. He just knew it.
“Twenty years ago when I made Roger & Me, I tried to warn people about what was ahead for General Motors. Had the power structure and the punditocracy listened, maybe much of this could have been avoided…
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Posted: 1st, June 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Susan Boyle Saves ITV And The Economy
SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which Susan Boyle saves ITV and the economy…
All-singing ITV hits the high notes again – Perhaps it’s the Susan Boyle effect. More likely it’s the analyst effect. Either way, ITV is on song. Fresh from a strong rally on Wednesday after Goldman Sachs analysts published upbeat forecasts for the media advertising market, the broadcaster surged again to register its biggest single-session gain in almost eight weeks – Peter Taylor, Daily Telegrpah (May 28, 2009)
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Londoners Invited To God’s Debt Cancellation Plan
MORRIS Cerullo is on a “Mission to London“. We British are invited to God’s debt cancellation plan. Just slip $900 inside the envelope and reap – reap! – REAP! – the debt cancellation glory!
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Hitler Used To Sell Turkish Tea
ADVERTISING gives you a free blonde with every organ donated – and now you get to murder Jews, Slavs, Britishers and gypsies without any stress or worry that you’re not doing it quick enough thanks to a calming cup of Turkish tea.
Take tea with your Hitler dolly.
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The Anatomical Heart Needle Felting Kit
EVER wanted to knit yourself a new heart? Well, now you can with the Anatomical Heart Needle Felting Kit from Fancy Tiger.
This kit includes everything you need to make two super cute hearts. You get several colors of wool roving, a foam safety cube, one barbed felting needle and easy to follow instructions.
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Posted: 20th, May 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
Children Want Perforated Eardrums From Russian Roulette: Pictures
PITY the child as he lifts up this fun game of Russian Roulette – the toy gun; the inflated balloon; a one in six chance of perforating your eardrum. He blows the balloon. He waits…
The gun sells for $16.
Gallery:
Posted: 18th, May 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment (1)
Ohio Bans Naked Mannequins From Shop Windows
A MANNEQUIN named “Bar Be Q” is pulling in the punters at an Ohio barbecue shop. But near naked mannequins are not wanted. Cover up:
Triumph Creates The Suicide Bomber Bra
HERE’s a picture of Triumph International’s new “Konkatsu Bra,” (“marriage-hunting”), unveiled in Tokyo.
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Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (3)
