Money Category
Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
Gordon Brown Approves Two-For-One Cashpoint Offer
TO the Welshpool branch of Sainsbury’s at speed as new reaches us of the cash machine giveaway. Key in £100 and receive £200. It’s the two-for-one offer you can really understand.
And the best bit is that the receipt was always for the lower amount.
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Posted: 17th, January 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Zimbabwe’s Introduces 100 Trillion Dollar Note: Kaka Signs
CAN Zimbabwe scupper Man City’s bid for Kaka?
Zimbabwe’s central bank says it will soon introduce a 100 trillion dollar note as the once prosperous country battles to keep pace with hyperinflation that has caused many to abandon the country’s currency.
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Posted: 16th, January 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
Bleed The World For The Third World Capital Markets
BLEED the world…
Posted: 16th, January 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
American Freedom Made In China
AMERICAN freedom is made in China…
But are you surprised?
Posted: 16th, January 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
Bernie Madoff Writes
BERNIE Madoff, the man who used his own greed to tap into the greed of his investors, who confessed to stealing $50 billion, resides under house arrest in his $7 million Upper East Side penthouse.
Prosecutors argue that Madoff should have his bail revoked and be sent to jail because – get this – he might not be all that honest and trying to break the law by secreting monies away.
When he’s not, allegedly, writing checks for £173million – prosecutors claim to have found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff’s desk – he’s penning letters to his neighbours:
Dear Neighbors,
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Posted: 15th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (3)
The Man Who Fell For The Nigerian Scam
OLD MR Anorak assures us that the Nigerian office is in fine fettle and that $150,000 has been earmarked for improvements to the typing pool personnel (you know who you are). Just as soon as the money is freed from the account of his dear Friend General A.N. Orak.
Meanwhile, it’s back to work for us and him, John Rempel, the man who fell for the Nigerian con. It cost him $120,000.
(I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.)
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Posted: 14th, January 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
HBOS Is Dead On January 19
HBOS – RIP:
HBOS plc
14January 2009Suspension of listing and trading
Following applications by HBOS to the UK Listing Authority and the London Stock Exchange respectively, HBOS announces that the listing on the Official List of the securities detailed below and the trading of such securities on the London Stock Exchange are suspended, both with effect from 6.00 p.m. today.
Subject to the Acquisition and the Preference Scheme becoming effective, it is expected that the listing on the Official List of the securities detailed below and the trading of such securities on the London Stock Exchange will be cancelled at 8.00 a.m. on 19 January 2009.
How to you mark the death of bank? OMA suggests laughter…
Posted: 14th, January 2009 | In: Money | Comments (2)
The Economics Of Financial Horoscopes, With Anatole Kaletsky
ANATOLE Kaletsky is the Times’ economic’s expert. His predictions and reviews are as follows:
2006:
“Each year, in my last Economic View before Christmas, I try to shed some light on economic events of the previous 12 months by comparing what has actually happened with expectations published here in early January. This year, even more than usual, reading back through January’s predictions has been a shock. Almost all have turned out to be wrong” – Anatole Kaletsky, The Times, 18/12/06.
2007:
“My last article of every year looks back on the predictions I made in early January to shed some light on the economic and financial events of the previous 12 months. This tends to be a humbling experience, and this year it is even more so than usual” – Anatole Kaletsky, The Times, 31/12/07.
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Posted: 14th, January 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Somalian Pirates Launder Severance Pay
FIRST Woolworths. Now this. The Somalian pirates are getting fired – literally:
The body of a Somali pirate who reportedly drowned soon after receiving a huge ransom has washed ashore with $153,000 in his pocket, his uncle says. The man was one of a group of pirates who seized the Saudi supertanker Sirius Star in November.
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Rogue Trader II: Nick Leeson Reviews Gordon Brown Sequels
ROGUE Trader II promises to be the summer’s big British blockbuster. In Rogue Trader, Nick Leeson managed to bring down merchant bank Barings Bank and find fame.
Gordon Brown watched and made notes and can be seen, as Lesson says, “throwing someone else’s money at the problem rather than facing up to his original mistakes”. Gordon’s well-thumbed copy of Leeson’s Fiscal Guide is always to hand.
Others looked on with envy. Could they do a Leeson and be just as famous? The Leeson franchise was born:
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Posted: 9th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (2)
Credit Crunch Watch: Selfridges Bites
CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at the credit crunch in the news: Selfridges chocolcate bites:
“Exclusive to Selfridges the ‘Credit Crunch’ has been created through collaboration between restaurateur and good writer Laura Santini and The Chocolate Society. ‘Credit Crunch’ is a more-ish marriage of the very best velvet-rich Valrhona chocolate, thickly coated over hokey pokey honeycomb pieces. It is available either in dark or milk Valrhona chocolate (£3.99 for a £150g bag).”
– Press release
Posted: 8th, January 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
Marks & Spencer Bag A Life Campaign
MARKS and Spencer says it is closing 27 stores and releasing 1,230 staff.
In these hard times it’s not easy being a greengrocer, and in a bid to save still more costs, M&S has altered one of its TV adverts to include an address to staff.
Now Piers Morgan will pause from extolling the juiciness of his rump and be seen sat before huge a red button.
So as not to cause undue distress, Morgan’s voice will be dubbed by Dervla Kirwan (6:30 ITV1) and David Jason (7:45 ITV2).
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Free Sex, Drugs And Opinion At The Spieler
THE Spieler – Anorak’s best of the web – is open.
We’ll soon feature a link to posts on the Anorak front page.
Until then, click here – The Spieler
* Headline mzy or may not be true.
Prayers Answered As SUV Sales Soar
DID you pray? Dr Flannery did. Prayer and counter prayer. Al Goreans are undecided.
Trucks and sport utility vehicles will outsell cars for the first time since February, according to a December report by Edmunds.com, which tracks industry statistics.
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Dickmann’s Chocolate For All Your Communion Needs
CHOCOLATE for all the ages. Dickmann’s.
Also available in Holy Communion fun size…
Posted: 5th, January 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (2)
Mona The Muslim: Woman Sues HBOS
MONA Awad says she “suffered sexual, racial and religious discrimination” from ale colleagues at HBOS.
She is suing for a record £16.7million.
Should HBOS lose, the wonder is how it will pay the bill. Experts expect another injection of cash into the banking sector.
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The Top Five Jobs For Philosophers
PHILOSPHERS are feeling the credit crunch:
“The scuttlebutt among APA’s roughly 550 job-seekers was that more than 10 percent of 300-plus advertised positions may have been canceled. Morris, in his second year in the philosophy job market and handsomely outfitted in suit and ponytail, remained upbeat, even playful. ‘I’m single, good-looking, athletic, 6-4, my phone number is….’ he joked into a reporter’s tape recorder. Asked where he’d be willing to go to teach philosophy, he replied, ‘Anywhere on the planet. Anywhere at all. Whether or not I get paid. To tell you the truth,’ he quickly added, ‘the only thing that could push me out of philosophy is the student loans I’ve accrued.'”
Saya Ann Althouse:
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Posted: 3rd, January 2009 | In: Money | Comments (3)
Why Britain Is Not Being Gassed By The Russians
RICHRD North looks at why the Russians are not be feared for any gas suply shortages in the UK – it’s the British we need to worry most about:
One of the problems about writing intelligently about any subject is that situations which emerge as the hystérie du jour are invariably far more complex than the drive-by media allow for. In many instances, what appear to be the primary issues identified are of less importance and, very often, miss the point entirely.
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Woolworths Uniforms For The Unemployed
FOR Christmas, Old Mr Anorak was delighted to buy his staff Woolworths.
Staff at Anorak Towers are now obliged to wear their new uniforms of smart red T-shirt branded by the country’s favourite discounted shop.
Say Old Anorak: “In your face, sub Pri-mark!”
And Anorak is not the only one embracing the change.
To save money, prisoners will now be issued with smart new grey shorts and be fed on a diet of pix ‘n’ mix.
Says one lag:
“I used to go shoplifting in Woolies with me dear old mum and the big boys. Wearing these scratchy shorts brings back fond memories of my youth.”
The Royal Navy will be dressed as Spiderman, and Superman at bedtime…
Sussex Police Get Indian Head Massages And Thai Police Laugh
SUSSEX police get Indian head massages – well, you would too if you had a wooden top.
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Posted: 30th, December 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
The Worst Financial Predictions Of 2008: Bush Was Right
PETER Coy “some of the worst predictions” – financial – that were made about 2008.
Of course, everyone who lost money made a bad prediction. But still, the three picks are herunder.
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Posted: 29th, December 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
The Top 11 Unwanted Christmas Gifts
CHRISTMAS is over, presents harvested, and it’s now time to get down to the serious business of asking aunty for a receipt for her gift – I just need to change it for a pink one – and cahsing in.
But if no proof of purchase is to hand, you can always sell them on eBay. A search brings up the:
Top 11 Unwanted Christmas Gifts*
UNWANTED CHRISTMAS TOFFEES ~ MADE FOR SHARING ;0) GIFT
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Posted: 29th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (2)
The Russian Capitalist Calendar
THIS RUSSIAN Calendar shows how the West has affected Russian life:
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Germany Rejoices As Britain Hits The Shops, China Closes
“BRITAIN IN SALES FRENZY,” screams the Daily Express from its front page. We’re going crazy for shopping!
“Crowds flood highstreet sales,” screeches the Sun.
“Nine out of 10 shoppers plan to cut spending in New Year,” yells the Guardian’s man in the sandwich board on Oxford Street. “Repent!”
“Stores besieged as thousands cash in on credit crunch,” belches the Scotsman.
“Stampede for sales as shops fear worst”, thunders the Times.
“Germany rejoices,” says Der Bild. “Zousands of Britishers flock to shops to buy our dishvashers, toasters, beer, knives, cars, TVs and superior bathroom fittings.
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Posted: 27th, December 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
