Money Category
Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
Al Sugar’s 54-A-Side Manchester City
“SHEIKH YOU BOOTY,” screams the Sun’s front-page headline, as “Arab sheikhs” (are their any other?) buy Manchester City and set about buying every single footballer on the planet.
The Sun says Dr Sulaiman Al Fahim, aka Al Sugar, intends to “grab” Cristiano Ronaldo from Manchester United and demand that he pays the ransom for his victim of a red hot £134million.
Such is the way of football business…
Also on Al Sugar’s shopping list are Cesc Fabregas (£60m), Fernando Torres (£70m), Kaka (£80m) and Dimitar Berbatov for £60m.
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Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Money, Tabloids | Comments (3)
Kitten In Gravy And Kitten In Jelly
KITTEN in jelly and Kitten in gravy. What would sir and madam prefer..?
Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (9)
Credit Crunch Watch: Picking A Blackberry To Order
CREDIT Crunch news of the day: Blackberry picking:
Experts are warning that the traditional pastime of blackberry picking is a dying art, even though the current economic climate makes it the perfect time to plunder nature’s bountiful store cupboard.
CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news…
Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)
The Palin Jesus Fish Eats Obama’s Messiah
BARACK Obama is the Messiah. Sarah Palin is an armed Christian.
John McCain is a war hero – a Christian soldier.
Buy the T-shirt…
Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (3)
Gordon Brown’s Party Tips For An Alterantive Edinburgh
Gordon Brown says bring a brick to party.
From an ebay listing for Brown’s ‘Alternative Edinburgh’, penned by Gordon Brown in the early seventies:
“This book was edited by Gordon Brown when he was a student in the 1970s at Edinburgh University. It is entitled Alternative Edinburgh and was penned at the time when Brown was a socialist student leader – it is full of suggestions of how to live in Edinburgh for next to nothing!…my favourite one is how to turn up at a party without bringing a bottle with you – so what do you do… you bring a carrier bag of empty cans and put two half-bricks in the bottom of it to weight it down“.
Posted: 28th, August 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comments (2)
Rich Man Gives Country Days To Save His Titian Art Collection
“FOUR months to save £300million masterpieces” – Times
“It’s the £100m race to keep Old masters in National Gallery” – Herald
Any reason why the Scottish paper shold focus on the Duke of Sutherland’s offer to sell Titian’s Diana & Actaeon and Diana & Callisto for £50million a piece to the nation at a discount to their £300m market value?
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Posted: 28th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comment
Hari Puttar And The Porno Harry Potter Law Suits
WARNER Bros is sueing Mumbai based Mirchi Movies over its film: Hari Puttar – A Comedy of Terrors. It’s the name. It’s, apparently, too smiliar in name to Harry Potter.
Other Warner Brother films that spawned aural-a-likes the suits might consider for litigation:
My Bare Lady (My Fair Lady)
Analyze These (Analyse This)
Batman & Throbin (Batman And Robin)
Dial A For Anal (Dial M For Murder)
Rebel without A Condom (Rebel Without A Cause)
And many, many more…
Says a spokesperson for Warner Bros:
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Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comments (5)
France Pays Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt To Live In La Belle Epoch
BY now you’ll be wondering what ever happened to Angelina Jolie and Brad Piit.
What are they up to? How are their kids? Well, Anorak has tracked the reclusive and humble couple down to France, and news is that they have struck gold.
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Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money, Tabloids | Comments (12)
Washington Post Calls For Tax On Information
DUSTY Horwitt writes for the Washington Post. No, not Viz magazine. Horwitt is no f***wit as he writes in a newspaper (and on the web) about there being too much information.
He begins his piece: “Everybody jokes about “TMI” these days.”
TM?
“Too much information.” BP – Beyond Parody.
As we say Horwitt is no F***witt. Unless…
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Earth Moves For British Economy
FEEL that seismic shift? That was the British economy coming to a halt.
INDEPENDENT: “British economy grinds to halt.”
FT: “British economy shudders to a halt”.
TELEGRAPH: British economy “shudders to a halt”.
Did you feel it? Did the Earth move for you..?
Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Photojournalism | Comments (4)
Beat The Credit Crunch With Laughing Gas
“WE’LL pay your gas bill for a year,” says the Express
The pledge is illustrated by a picture of a middle-aged woman beaming. Is the gas in questions nitrous oxide?
If it is, we say bring it on.
A flick of the gas taps and a good laugh will warm us up a treat. It’s the Blitz spirit…
Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Infant Girls For Sale By The Bag On CraigsList
BAGS of various size infant girls on sale via the Craig’s List website. A special Anorak investigation:
Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (2)
Pensioners And Under Youth In UK Breeding Programme
GIVEN the level of paedo panic and Gary Glitter’s return, the Telegraph’s front-page picture of an older adult hand holding that of a child sends a shiver of revulsion in reader’s spine.
We examine the bigger hand for signs of stardust, Glitter, if you will, and wonder if anyone out there can identify the claw?
New is that, according to the Office for National Statistics, pensioners now outnumber under 16s.
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Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comment
Kerry Katona: That’s Why Mum’s Gone To The High Court
KERRY Katona, aka Kerry McPadding, has been declared bankrupt.
No, in a fiscal sense, you judgemental swine.
The High Court action against Miss Katona, 27, of Wilmslow, Cheshire, followed her failure to pay the final £82,000 of a £417,000 tax bill.
Katona once trilled “That’s why mum’s gone to Iceland.”
She may care to rephrase her bon mots to: “That’s why mum’s gone to Aldi.”
Chin up, tits up, bottoms up and throw up – there’s always work out there…
Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comments (3)
Michael Phelps’ All American Diet
MICHAEL Phelps runs on sugar, fat and special sauce:
The public irritation with Michael Phelps gathers steam! Instead of being on the Wheaties box like a real American champion, Phelps has signed on to endorse Frosted Flakes. Yes: Michael Phelps wants your kids to choke down these sugar-encrusted corn scabs rather than the high fiber of Wheaties. The papers already found some doctors to condemn him. Though we shouldn’t be surprised considering Phelps’ addiction to Big Macs, the goofy-ass swimmer really should have been smarter in terms of his image…
Fast food make you fast…
Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Money | Comments (3)
Jenna Jameson Does Baby Fashion
ODD indeed that Paris Hilton should be so famous when Jenna Jameson has made so many more straight-to-tissue videos, and porn is so mainstream?
What’s more Jenna is blonde and has a child on the way. And that means she either has:
a) Written a children’s book?
b) Been shopping at a Third World orphanage?
c) Starred in the film Three Men Making A Baby?
d) Brought out a range of children’s fashion?
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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comment (1)
Strange Fruit In Hexham: The Quietest Market In England
TO Hexham where the town’s traders are being ordered to tone it down.
Says the Mirror: “For 800 years, traders on the cobbled streets of Hexham have cried out about their wares to pull in passing trade.”
Why 800 years, we are not told. Hexham Abbey dates from 674AD, and in there may have been a lull in trade when William Wallace burnt the town in 1297.
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Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Government Wine Taster Required
PISSST! Want a job in Government?
Via
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (13)
Pray At The Pump: Thank God For Lower Petrol Prices
A PRAYER group in Washington DC says it brought about the recent sharp drop in the US price of petrol.
God moves in Mysterious Ways, his 4×4 Land Crusie with air con. Amen.
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Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Money | Comments (5)
Homeowners Call Police On Window Salesman
AFTER a cold all approach, a window trader was demanding a deposit for the £31,000 he quoted to replace a couple’s windows.
The couple, who have two young children, repeatedly asked him to leave before calling the police and handing him the phone so that a police officer could tell him to go.
And did the coppers buy any windows?
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (4)
The Petrol Crisis In Pictures
A READER illustrates the petrol crisis…
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (6)
Slightly Used Rubber Fist For Sale
FOR sale – one rubber fist. Shop soiled…
Spotter: Tom Mayhew
Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comments (14)
Why You Should Buy Pirated DVDs
IF you buy a pirated DVD you don’t have be talked down to and treated like a criminal…
Picture (NSFW):
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Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (6)
Credit Crunch: The Rover’s Returns
CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news:
“Even TV stars are feeling the pinch: Troubled Corrie star Bev Callard pulled pints at the Rover’s yesterday – as her real-life boozer suddenly shut down. Locals say the unexpected closure of the Gallery, an upmarket bar and restaurant, is probably down to the credit crunch” – The Sun
What the credit crunch means to you…
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money, Tabloids | Comments (7)
Credit Crunch: The Sunday Joint
CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news:
“ROAST CRUNCH: Price of Sunday lunch soars 25% – Families are shunning their meat and veg as costs hit an all time high” – The Sun
“Three couples save £30,000 with a crunch-busting triple wedding.” Three couples spend £20,000 on big joint wedding to, er, save money – Daily Mirror
“Boaters shun the rat race – Hard-pressed Britons are taking to the canal to beat the credit crunch… There are now more then 31,500 licensed boats, more than at the height of the Industrial Revolution” – Daily Express
Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comment (1)
