News Category
Master embroiderer performs wing transplant on Monarch butterfly
Romy McCloskey used not little skill to transplant a new wing onto a Monarch butterfly. “I am a professional costume designer and master hand embroiderer,” says Romy. “This was right up my alley.”
Equipped with a coathanger (wire), a towel, a wire hanger, a toothpick, cotton swabs, scissors, tweezers, quick-drying cement, talcum powder, Romy set about using a dead butterfly’s wing to give flight to a newborn.
No anaethetics were used. Apparently, Monarch butterflies do not feel pain in their wings.
“The patient: this 3-day-old little boy was born with torn upper and lower wings. Let’s see how we can help!”
“The operating room and supplies: towel, wire hanger, contact cement, toothpick, cotton swab, scissors, tweezers, talc powder, extra butterfly wing”
“Securing the butterfly and cutting the damaged parts away. Don’t worry it doesn’t hurt them. It’s like cutting hair or trimming fingernails”
“Ta-da! With a little patience and a steady hand, I fit the new wings to my little guy”
“The black lines do not match completely and it is missing the black dot (male marking) on the lower right wing, but with luck, he will fly”
“FLIGHT DAY! After a day of rest and filling his belly with homemade nectar, it is time to see if he will fly”
“With a quick lap around the yard and a little rest on a bush, he was off! A successful surgery and outcome! Bye, little buddy! Good luck”
Via Romy McCloskey on Facebook; Bored Panda
Posted: 11th, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment
Wenger watch: Arsenal manger swore at Chelsea player and never flinched
How did Arsene Wenger find life sat in the Chelsea press box for Arsenal’s League Cup match semi-final tie? Well, last time we discovered that he has a huge garden:
A year ago, when he was also serving a touchline ban, Wenger crept to his seat beside the corporate area in the East Stand at Stamford Bridge and was welcomed with a handshake by an Arsenal supporter.
“I said, ‘Good afternoon’ and he replied, ‘I’m your gardener at your house’,” Wenger said. “I didn’t even know him. I do have a big garden.”
And this time, what did we learn?
Here’s Jeremy Wilson in the Daily Telegraph:
Spending 90 minutes literally just a few feet from Wenger ensured a fascinating insight. Not for anything he said, but simply the magnified perspective provided by his body language. We hear so often of how football managers live every moment of a match that we become almost immune to the draining reality of that statement. Yet to see Wenger fidgeting with each pass, almost straining to make every tackle and, even surrounded by media, still letting out the occasional shout of encouragement or kick of frustration was to feel just how much it all means.
Phil McNulty was there for the BBC:
Wenger remained relatively calm, even when Lacazette wasted a presentable first-half chance, only rising from his seat once during the game when Welbeck was penalised for a foul on Moses, but it was also easy to detect the strains and stresses.
He banged the table in front of him when Granit Xhaka committed a foul against Eden Hazard, shifted constantly in his seat, throwing back his head in frustration when opportunities came and went, such as Lacazette getting carelessly caught offside and when a promising free-kick position was wasted.
The Islington Gazette:
“I was two rows down so I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but colleagues reported him kicking the backs of their chairs and using the odd swear word, especially when possession was lost or the ball hoofed into the air.
“Whatever you think of him you simply can’t deny his passion.”
Jack Polden in the Mirror:
Commenting on referee Martin Atkinson blowing up for a foul on the Spaniard, Wenger shouted: “Every time Alvaro Morata goes down it’s a f****** free-kick.”
Gary Jacobs dedicates an entire column to Wenger Watch. Highlights include:
Wenger gently leans back in his seat, as Arsenal look more comfortable…
Wenger’s presence is noticed by Chelsea fans to his left. They stand, thrust their arms towards him and chant, “We want you to stay.” There is no response…
Jack Wilshere is injured — again. Wenger never flinches…
Such are the facts.
Posted: 11th, January 2018 | In: Arsenal, Broadsheets, Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Clickbait balls: Arsenal and Man City fans tricked by Daily Express Sanchez fakery
The Daily Express online is clickbait mire. Arsenal and Manchester City fans checking up on news of Alexis Sanchez’s move from London to the champions elect are seduced by the headline: “Transfer news LIVE updates: Sanchez deal agreed; Man Utd, Liverpool, Barcelona, Chelsea.”
The Express appears to have a scoop when you search for Sanchez news on Google News. No other news source has the story that a Sanchez deal has been “agreed”. Indeed, Sky Sports says City haven’t even bid for the Chilean.
Here’s the that Express headline again on the paper’s website:
Stuart Ballard has the scoop! But to save you clicking, we’ll not pick out the words relevant to Sanchez’s transfer to City.
Here’s the first mention of Sanchez is Ballard’s story:
Sanchez ‘no bids’
10.00: Arsene Wenger has claimed Arsenal have received no offers for Alexis Sanchez and he fully expects him to stay until the end of the season .When asked if the Gunners had received any offers, he replied: “No and I expect nothing.
“I am focused on tomorrow’s game. When solicitations happen you respond to it. At the moment it’s very quiet. I have nothing to add.”
Come on, Wenger, keep up with things. Read the Express. The deal has been “agreed”. But what’s this? Reading on we find no word on the agreed deal.
We
05:30: Manchester City could complete a deal to sign Alexis Sanchez this week after opening talks over a £30million deal.
Could? What happened to “agreed”?
Express Sport understands the Chile international has been told City will be making a bid for him in the coming days.
What about what readers understand by the phrase “Transfer News: Sanchez Dal Agreed”?
But Ballard has nm’t finished. Let’s not be hasty. What else?
05:00: Arsene Wenger has reignited Arsenal’s interest in Thomas Lemar in the fear they could miss out on him with Alexis Sanchez seemingly on his way out of the club, according to reports…
And with Sanchez constantly linked with a move to Manchester City, Arsenal are prepared to enter the race once again to sign Lemar.
Total balls, then. It might even be fake news.
Posted: 9th, January 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (3)
Data shocker: Westminster workers less likely to watch porn than the rest of us
In 2010, Online MBA produced a porn infographic. It claimed to know that 70% of men visited porn sites in a given month. Dan Savage, a Seattle-based sex columnist, had a word on the demographics of porn watchers. “All men look at porn, ” he stated. “The handful of men who claim they don’t look at porn are liars or castrates.”
Only men like to look?
Seth Stephens-Davidowitz claims women are fans of online porn, too:
Speaking to Vox in an interview about how Google data proves that most Americans lie about their sexual preferences, the researcher and author of “Everybody Lies” asserts… “Porn featuring violence against women is also extremely popular among women…It is far more popular among women than men. I hate saying that because misogynists seem to love this fact,” he added. “Fantasy life isn’t always politically correct.”
In 2014, the US Public Religion Research Institute, said 29 percent of Americans think watching porn is morally acceptable. That’s a lot of people feeling guilty about watching other people having sex.
Which brings us to news that the burghers of Westminster are not like the rest of us:
Staff working in Parliament tried to access online pornography once every nine minutes in the last couple of months, despite a crackdown on inappropriate sexual behaviour, new figures show.
More than 24,000 attempts were made to get onto adult websites from inside the Parliamentary estate – around 160 requests per day – although most were blocked.
Users on the Parliamentary network, including MPs, peers, staff and contractors, used their devices to try and connect to banned content almost 25,000 times in just four months.
Is that a lot?
At the end of January 2015, the headcount of the number of people employed by the House of Commons was 2,040
Add on 650 MPs, 800 Lords, their staff and media workers, and you can add another, say, 2000 people to the Westminster head count. Given the figures supplied for the popularity of porn, Westminster looks relatively clean.
Here’s the date from the MBA company:
Posted: 8th, January 2018 | In: News, Politicians, Technology | Comment
Barcelona puts Premier League in its place with £142m deal for Liverpool Philippe Coutinho
Liverpool have have sold Philippe Coutinho to Barcelona for £142m – and reassured the world that the Spanish league is bigger, better and starrier than the hyped Premier League. The mighty Reds will get £105m up front for the 25-year-old Brazilian and more should he win cups in the Nou Camp, which he will do.
It’s a huge profit for Liverpool, who paid Inter Milan £8.5m for the player in January 2013. It was also a big profit when Liverpool sold Luis Suarez to Barcelona for £64.98 million in 2014. Suarez went on to win:
La Liga: 2014–15, 2015–16
Copa del Rey: 2014–15, 2015–16, 2016–17
Supercopa de España: 2016
UEFA Champions League: 2014–15
UEFA Super Cup: 2015
FIFA Club World Cup: 2015
Liverpool have in that time won nothing.
The top players don’t dream of playing for Liverpool. They dream of playing for Real Madrid and Barcelona. Unless Liverpool can compete with mega-buck Manchester City and pay huge wages to hire talent the big Spanish clubs don’t want or can’t find room for, they won’t win titles.
Cheerio, Philippe. You’ll be missed…
Posted: 6th, January 2018 | In: Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment (1)
Starlings scare predator by forming shape of a huge bird
To evade predators starlings cluster. In the skies over Costa Brava, Spain, a murmuration of starlings took the form of a a far larger bird. Daniel Biber, who took the photo, tells the Independent:
“I was taking pictures of the murmurations over several days. Only when I checked the pictures on the computer later, I realised what formation the starlings had created.
“I was so concentrated on taking pictures at the time that I hadn’t realised that the starlings had created a giant bird in the sky.
“It took less than 10 seconds for the birds to create that formation. I realised that I had captured a unique snapshot, technically, sharp and in high quality.”
Perfectly timed photo captures the moment a flock of starlings took the shape of a giant bird.
Photo by Daniel Bieber. pic.twitter.com/UWfbM1NDlK
— Greg Hogben (@MyDaughtersArmy) January 2, 2018
Mr Biber’s picture won first prize in a contest run by the Swiss Ornithological Institute in Sempach, which sims “to inspire public interest in birds and raise awareness for their protection”.
Says Daniel: “In the northeast of Spain, hundreds of thousands of Common Starlings gather at nighttime to sleep. While I was watching this spectacle, the billowing flock suddenly took the shape of a huge flying bird. What luck!”
Posted: 4th, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment
Media bias: sorry Swansea lose to a ‘pinpoint’ offside Spurs goal
When Spurs visited Swansea in the Premier League, the game’s opening goal in a 2-0 win for the Londoners should have been ruled out for offside. New Swansea coach Carlos Carvalhal says assistant referee Marc Perry apologised to his error.
But how does the Spurs website report on the controversy?
The former Swansea City target man marked his maiden Premier League start in our colours following his summer move from south Wales with an early breakthrough from Christian Eriksen’s free-kick.
It was also the Spaniard’s first domestic goal for us and came amid a spell of intense first-half pressure in the driving rain, but it took until the 89th minute for us to find a second through Dele Alli.
Adding:
Christian Eriksen delivered the set piece and Llorente shook off his marker to glance in a header at the near post.
No word at all on the offside there. No word that the ‘marker’ had stepped up to play Llorente offside. But on the Swansea City website it’s a different story. The match report begins thus:
Liberty old boy Fernando Llorente set Spurs on the path to victory with an early header which should have been disallowed for offside.
And in the fourth paragraph, there it is again:
Tottenham took the lead on 12 minutes as Llorente headed home Christian Eriksen’s free-kick, but the Swans felt hard done by as replays showed the Spaniard was a yard offside.
What about local media?
The London Evening Standard describes the goal thus: “Tottenham old boy Tom Carroll felled Son Heung-min near the touchline and Eriksen’s trademark delivery quality picked out the head of Llorente in the penalty box.”
He picked out an offisde player.
And in the South Wales Echo: “…it was more the errors from referee Bobby Madley than anything else that contributed to this two-goal defeat in a middle of a torrential downpour… Tottenham’s key first goal was clearly offside. And long before Dele Alli sealed the game in the 89 minute, Spurs should have been reduced to ten men as Davinson Sanchez avoided an obvious second yellow card.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 3rd, January 2018 | In: Back pages, News, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Would be Tube fare-dodger caught by the penis
The last time anyone of note vaulted the turnstiles on the London Underground, they were on their way to shoot an innocent man in the head. So it could have been worse when our hero leapt over the ticket barriers at Covent Garden station (more evidence of the London 2012 Olympic legacy – ed). Well, at least he tried to. The barriers shut and the young blade was caught by the penis.
The alleged dodger’s todger had upset the plan.
In addition to kind hearts stopping to record the spectacle on their mobile phones, advice was offered, not last of all the directive, “Butter him up, butter him up.”
Once freed, the man thanks a police officer (unarmed) and a passer-by who had helped.
Posted: 3rd, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment
Liverpool balls: Coutinho is determined to join Barcelona
Philippe Coutinho wants to leave Liverpool for Barcelona as soon as possible. The Times says Coutinho “believes that he has played his last game for Liverpool”. Not that belief is as legally binding as a contract.
Liverpool have rejected a bid of £119m for the 25-year-old. But Liverpool are now, reportedly, willing to sell should the Spanish side come up with an improved offer for the Brazilian – something in the region of £130m.
Coutinho has been playing well for Liverpool, scoring 12 goals in 20 appearances. But the problem for Coutinho is that his contract keeps him at Liverpool until 2022. He earns a not-too-shabby £150,000-a-week on the deal he signed last year, but his earning would rocket at Barcelona, and that’s without any signing-on bonus, which would be huge.
So is Coutinho, who was absent for Liverpool’s scrappy win New Year’s Day win at Burnley, off? Last week, Nike, the player’s sponsor and suppliers of Barcelona’s kit, stated a deal had been done. That was incorrect, say Liverpool.
Over in Spain, the front page of Mundo Deportivo declares: “Coutinho 145 millones.” Of course, what the newspapers say is ofter utter tosh. In October, the Liverpool Echo opined: “Philippe Coutinho deal to Barcelona may have already been done.” Or it may not have been.
One thing is certain: Liverpool are primed for Barcelona’s next move.
Posted: 3rd, January 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment
RyanAir passenger exits via the emergency door at Malaga Airport
“This man decided he wasn’t going to wait any longer. He activated the emergency door and left, saying: ‘I’m going via the wing’. It was surreal. He was sat on the wing for quite a while until the crew managed to get him back inside.” So says Fernando Del Valle Villalobos as he recalls how a fellow passenger on board a delayed RyanAir flight from Stansted to Malaga, Spain, grew tired of waiting to disembark and opted for the quicker exit.
The traveller, a 57-year-old Polish national, sat on the wing of flight FR8164 with his hand luggage. The plane sat on the tarmac. Coaxed back inside the plane, he was soon arrested.
A spokesman for Ryanair goes on the record: “This airport security breach occurred after landing in Malaga airport on 1 January. Malaga airport police immediately arrested the passenger in question and since this was a breach of Spanish safety and security regulations, it is being dealt with by the Spanish authorities.”
Reports that the man was a RyanAir employee investigating new classes of travel, and doing away with steps, are wide of the mark. Probably.
Posted: 3rd, January 2018 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment
Media bias: Arsenal are robbed by West Bromwich Albion’s deserved penalty
Biased footballer reporting is very much in evidence in match reports on West Bromwich Albion’s 1–1 draw with Arsenal. Having taken the lad with an 83rd minute own goal, the Gunners were denied a win when Albion scored an 89th minute penalty. Referee Mike Dean decided that it was hand ball when, as the Arsenal website puts it “former Gunner Kieran Gibbs flicked the ball into Calum Chambers’ hand in the area”. The reporting is clear: any handball was not intentional.
Former referee Graham Poll uses his Daily Mail column to state: “It wasn’t a penalty. It should never have been a penalty.”
The Times says “Calum Chambers was penalised for handball when the ball was kicked at him from a yard away”.
But in the Express and Star, the local West Bromwich Albion newspaper, the report looks like this:
Having been the better team for large parts of the game, Alan Pardew’s team found themselves staring defeat in the face after Alexis Sanchez squeezed a free-kick through a brittle Baggies wall seven minutes from time.
There will be an inquest into that goal, which has officially gone down as a James McClean own goal, but in the 89th minute, referee Mike Dean pointed at the spot after Callum Chambers handled in the box.
No inquest about that.
And: “Albion hadn’t been awarded a spot-kick for more than 50 games, so they were certainly due one.”
So that’s alright, then.
Posted: 1st, January 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, News, Sports | Comments (2)
Desperate Liverpool outbid Manchester City for Southampton’s Virgil van Dijk
If Southampton’s Virgil van Dijk is worth £75m to Liverpool, rival clubs must be running audits of their playing assets and discovering new riches.
Liverpool will take delivery of the Dutch defender on January 2 in a £75m deal, making him the world’s most expensive defender.
It say something about the price when you know that massive-spending Manchester City were not prepared to match Liverpool’s offer for yet another Southampton player – Van Dijk will become the sixth Southampton player signed by Liverpool since 2014. He’ll join former Saints: Sadio Mane (£34m), Adam Lallana (£25m), Dejan Lovren (£20m), Nathaniel Clyne (£12.5m). Rickie Lambert (£5m) has left the club. And Liverpool boast another former Saint in Oxlade-Chamberlain, who they recruited from Arsenal for £35m.
Might it not be cheaper for Liverpool to hire Southampton’s talent spotters? Or why not buy the club? In 2017, Southampton sold 80% of the club to Chinese businessman Gao Jisheng for around £210m. Liverpool have spent not far shy of that on Southampton players.
Posted: 28th, December 2017 | In: Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment
A terrifying talking Donald Trump robot debuts at Disney World
No sooner has Disney taken over Fox, President Trump’s favourite new bringer, than a terrifying talking Donald Trump robot debuts at Disney World. TrumpBot stands alongside other American presidents, like Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, and George Washington. All can be seen at the Mouse House’s Hall of Presidents.
Mickey Mouse Presidents, you say? Mickey Mouse is defined by the Urban Dictionary as: “Substandard, poorly executed or organized. Amateurish.” Bit harsh.
Anyhow, here’s roboDon:
“From the beginning, America has been a nation defined by its people. At our founding, it was the American people who rose up to defend our freedoms and win our independence. It was why our Founders began our great Constitution with three very simple words: We the people. Since that moment, each generation of Americans has taken its place in the defense of our freedom, our flag, and our nation under God.”
He does not say, “Grab her by the pussy!”
Posted: 19th, December 2017 | In: News, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment
West Ham United’s Manuel Lanzini charged for diving in match at Stoke
The Football Association have charged West Ham United’s Manuel Lanzini for diving during Saturday’s Premier League match at Stoke. The alleged dive earned West Ham a penalty, from which they scored the game’s first goal. Stoke’s Erik Pieters didn’t touch Lanzini. And the FA’s three-person panel of “independent” experts will decide if Lanzini dived or was forced into evasive action.
If found guilty, Lanzini will get a two-match ban and be branded a cheat – just as Oumar Niasse was when he became the first Premier League player to be banned for diving.
“He’s clearly dived. He’s a clever player, he’ll draw a foul or some kind of challenge but he wasn’t clipped,” moaned Stoke’s manager Mark Hughes after the match. “Referees need to get match-defining decisions correct and he certainly didn’t get that one correct.”
Oddly, Hughes was less upset when Stoke played Arsenal earlier in the season, during which the Gunners were wrongly denied two penalty shouts. Hughes declared himself to be “delighted” with the outcome.
The game is full of bias. So here’s David Moyes, the West Ham manager, on the alleged dive: “Manu has ran 70 yards and probably ran his race at the end of it. I think the defender going to ground means the referee has a choice to make. I don’t think there’s any intent regarding a dive. I think he’s riding the tackle more than anything. If you take the whole action into consideration, I definitely don’t see it being a dive. I see it being tiredness at the end of it but I don’t see a dive.”
He didn’t dive. He was having a rest.
Manuel Lanzini should expect a ban from the FA after this ridiculous dive today vs Stoke! pic.twitter.com/bVVo2TghCv
— Transfer Swoop (@SwoopTransfer) December 16, 2017
50 Shades of guilt: Bruno Langley had legal sex with young woman
Heard the one about the famous actor and the young woman? The Sun leads with news that Bruno Langley, aka the “Corrie pervert”, “preyed on a 16-year-old girl” five years ago. In November, Langley admitted molesting two women at the Band on the Wall on Swan Street, Manchester. He was sentenced to a 12-month community order at Manchester Magistrates’ Court. He must sign the sex offenders’ register for five years. Langley apologised for his “disgraceful behaviour”.
In sentencing, District Judge Mark Hadfield told the actor: “You have lost your good name and I know nothing of showbusiness, but… in the current climate, I suspect it may be very difficult for you to gain employment in that industry in the future.”
Well, quite.
Here he is on the front page the subject of a shag ‘n’ tell, one which might be sub-headed: “Actor has consensual sex – shocker!”
On page 5, we read that when on a date with the 16-year-old, he “spied the erotic novel 50 Shades in her handbag”. Says the woman, who is not named in the story: “He then asked me to read it to him, which was so embarrassing and cringeworthy.” I know. I’ve read it. Not that this is a book review, of course. It’s a review of Langley’s character. And when we read that “the sleazy soap star” pulled her when he “marched over to her at party in July 2012 – just weeks after she left school”, we are sickened.
The sleazy sod. Sun readers must be disgusted at men getting turned on by “girls” and chatting to them:
In the Sun – tasteful adverts to listen to “mother and daughter sex sounds”
The Mail reads the Sun’s story and thunders: “Disgraced Coronation Street star Bruno Langley, 34, ‘had sex with a 16-year-old girl and pleaded with her to read passages from 50 Shades of Grey'”.
The sick sod.
As seen in the Mail back in 2008- The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) said the “irresponsible” Ryan Air advert appeared to link teenage girls with sexually provocative behaviour.The advert was printed in the Herald, Daily Mail and Scottish Daily Mail.
Posted: 18th, December 2017 | In: Celebrities, News, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Mo Farrah wins BBC Sports Personality of the Year
If not Andy Murray, then who wins Sports Personality of the Year? A dead cert for so many years, Murray is not the force he was. His brother Jamie Murray won the mixed doubles at Wimbledon and the US Open, but never even made the list, which did find room for Johanna Konta (tennis), Jonnie Peacock (para-athletics), Adam Peaty (swimming), Jonathan Rea (motorcycling), Anya Shrubsole (cricket) and Bianca Walkden (taekwondo).
This year’s hot favourite was Anthony Joshua, with cyclist Chris Froome (ah) and Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton second and third favourites respectively.
Joshua had been poised to join the elite with a SPOTY trophy ever since he retired the great Wladimir Klitschko in front of 90,000 people at Wembley Stadium in April. The fact it is not an Olympic helped Joshua’s chances of winning SPOTY. On the 16 occasions the award has been held in an Olympic year, 12 of the winners have been Olympians. Each of boxing’s five victories, meanwhile, have been in non-Olympic years.
A Joshua victory would have taken boxing alongside tennis, and only behind Formula One and athletics, as the most the most prolific winning sport in SPOTY history.
But, of course, SPOTY has not all much to do with sport. It’s more about moral guidance. It’s also a rare chance for viewers to see actual sports stars on the BBC. Most often they appear in photographs on the national news and a highlights package. But on SPOTY they are live and moving. And this year the interaction between Beeb and viewer was even better because like most of us the winner was also watching it from home. World 10,000m champion Sir Mo Farah was presented the award on video link by daughter Rhianna.
Less sports than Gogglebox, then.
Biased balls: Stoke fouled and West Ham’s phantom penalty
Biased Balls: a look at biased football reporting. Today’s Premier League match between Stoke City and West Ham United earned the Londoners’ three points thanks to a 3-0 win.
the first goal came from the penalty spot. This is how the clubs’ websites report it.
West Ham:
…West Ham and Lanzini broke. The Argentine charged into the left-hand-side of the box and drew the foul from Eric Pieters. Referee Graham Scott pointed to the spot and the skipper stepped up to confidently slot past Butland to the goalkeeper’s left.
Stoke:
Erik Pieters was adjudged to have tripped Manuel Lanzini inside the penalty area, when television replays clearly showed the Dutchman had in fact made no contact with his opponent.
As one side sees controversy and the other a clear foul, we all should think Marko Arnautovic, who scored on his return to the bet365 Stadium for the first time since his transfer to West Ham. Not for him the bowed head and doleful walk to the half-way line. the Austrian celebrated his goal by sliding on his knees, pointing to the Heavens and hailing the West Ham fans with an ‘Irons’ crossed-armed salute.
Stoke:
Posted: 16th, December 2017 | In: Back pages, News, Sports | Comment
Barry R. Glazer might be the world’s most honest lawyer: ‘I’m in it for vengeance’
Baltimore-based lawyer Barry R. Glazer is “in it for vengeance”. He has money. He’s been an attorney since 1968. And the principle – that thing that makes lawyer’s go ker-ching! – is for the idiots. This is about retribution. If his gun jammed, Judge Dredd would hire Barry Glazer.
Barry’s been hailed in film. You’ll hear his catchphrase – “Don’t urinate on my leg and tell me it’s raining” – and that he’s “Making it rain for the urinated upon”:
And now for more messages from Barry:
Posted: 15th, December 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment
Racist woman thrown out of Starbucks
To a Starbucks in Walnut Creek, Cali., where a woman on a lap top is berating a woman for speaking Korean in her vicinity. The LA Times hears the women tell Korean student Annie An: “This is America. Use English only… Your language is disgusting.”
We don’t know all that went on before. But we do know that the woman was filmed and the footage was uploaded to the web.
A Starbucks workers asks the woman to leave. “You’re going to be in trouble when I get this letter out,” she say tapping on her keyboard. “You’re pressing numbers over and over again,” says a voice.
According to An, no fewer than three police officers lead the woman away.
Anyone else like to know more before they pass judgement? But, yeah, right: anyone using a lap top around all those hot drinks deserves everything they get.
Thérèse Dreaming must be censored to save people from art
To New York, where offence-seekers and defenders of sound morals are demanding the Metropolitan Museum of Art remove Balthasar Klossowski’s (1908-2001) painting, Thérèse Dreaming. Mia Merrill was “shocked” to see the painting. “It is disturbing that the Met would proudly display such an image,” Merrill told Care2, the self-styled “social network for good”. “They are a renowned institution and one of the largest, most respected art museums in the United States. The artist of this painting, Balthus, had a noted infatuation with pubescent girls and this painting is undeniably romanticizing the sexualization of a child.”
In 2013, when the Met created the 2014 exhibition Balthus: Cats and Girls—Paintings and Provocations the show came with a warning that read: “Some of the paintings in this exhibition may be disturbing to some visitors.” It stopped short of saying that the best art is unsettling and much of the other stuff is ‘meh’ – and failed to say why only “some visitors” would be disturbed. Why not all? That show also featured Thérèse Dreaming, one of 10 portraits of Thérèse Blanchard (1925-1950), Balthus’ young neighbour in his native Paris.
“If The Met had the wherewithal to reference the disturbing nature of Balthus in the 2013 exhibit, they understand the implications of displaying his art today,” Merrill laments. “Given the current climate around sexual assault and allegations that become more public each day, in showcasing this work for the masses, The Met is romanticizing voyeurism and the objectification of children.”
When asked about the poses of preadolescent girls in his work, Balthus said, “It is how they sit.” When asked why they did it, no child abuser cited Balthus.
But in the minds of the ‘good’ and caring, to see is to do. They have judged the art and found it wrong. It must be banned. Ideas that make them feel uncomfortable must be suppressed.
One look at the intense painting of a glowing and self-possessed Thérèse Blanchard, who was about twelve or thirteen at the time this picture was made, will turn the mentally negligible masses into child abusers. It must be censored by they who know best, those shiny-eyed seers who view the rest of us as suspects. Down the memory hole with this paintings, the statues, the art, the gender, the books, free expression and the birth names. The world’s being changed into a safe space. We’re all in therapy now.
Mark Clattenburg: I let Spurs lose the title at Chelsea
Like so many of you, I am a huge fan of the Premier League referees. Sadly, my Mark Clattenburg replica kit is now a ‘vintage’ item on match days following ‘Clatts’ departure to Saudi Arabia.
Clattenburg (‘REF – HERO – LEGEND’) has been on NBC’s Men in Blazers podcast, reliving the glory days when he “allowed Tottenham to self-destruct” in their 2-2 draw with Chelsea in May 2016. Spurs had to win the match to keep their Premier League title challenge alive.
And for such an important match they were awarded Clattenburg, who booked nine Spurs players. Argy-bargy after the match also helped Chelsea and Tottenham receive record fines from the Football Association, and Spurs’ Mousa Dembele was banned for six games for violent conduct.
“I allowed them [Spurs] to self-destruct so all the media, all the people in the world went: ‘Tottenham lost the title’,” says Clatts. “If I sent three players off from Tottenham, what are the headlines? ‘Clattenburg cost Tottenham the title.’ It was pure theatre that Tottenham self-destructed against Chelsea and Leicester won the title.”
Football’s Andrew Lloyd Webber (surely Webber is theatre’s Clattenburg? – ed) continues: “Some referees would have played by the book; Tottenham would have been down to seven or eight players and probably lost and they would’ve been looking for an excuse. But I didn’t give them an excuse, because my gameplan was: Let them lose the title.”
Who needs rules when you have a ref like Clattenburg? All together now for that familiar match-day chant one last time: Whose the w***** in the black? “One FA Cup and three UEFA Finals, do-dah, do-dah.”
Posted: 4th, December 2017 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment
Damian Green: flagrant abuse is what we love best
The Daily Damian: a look at Damian Green in the newspapers. The story so far: the Deputy PM is accused of having porn on his PC and chatting up a younger woman, whose knee she says he touched. The Cabinet Office is investigating. Damian Green say he’s innocent. Now read on…
The Sun (page 6) says Education Secretary Justine Greening “all but called for him to be sacked”. Greening told BBC viewers to Andrew Marr’s Sunday morning show that “most employers” would think it unacceptable to watch porn at work. On the other side (ITV) was Jeremy Hunt, the Health Secretary, telling everyone that he trusts Damian Green and “I believe what he says”.
0800GREEN – HOW MUCH ABUSE CAN HE TAKE?
On Page 10, Trevor Kavanagh says the story is based on a “politically motivated vendetta” against Green by two “bitter” former police officers, Bob Quick and “co-conspirator” Neil Lewis. We learn that Quick “led the scandalous raid” on Green’s office in 2008 over alleged leaks from the Home Office. Quick “seized the computers. Lewis fund the porn.” And then comes the worrying bit: “thousands of perfectly legal images were copied – against orders – and squirrelled away by Lewis for future use.” Kavanagh alleges it’s part of moves to get back at Theresa May for threatening to “smash their Mafia-style trade union”.
Over in the Mirror (page2 ), Justine Greening is telling Green to “fall on your sword”. Which isn’t a euphemism for masturbation, rather a euphemism for career suicide, or maybe actual suicide. On page 8, Kevin Maguire wonders if the Tories would back an “ordinary worker” – are MPs made extraordinary in anything but the glorious building they occupy? – “if police found thousands of indecent images on his or her desktop.” Dunno. Maybe police should all check their PCs and let us know what occurs?
And how is watching porn on your PC any different from watching porn in a magazine or newspaper, say, perhaps one that on Page 41 offers readers the chance to call premium-rate phone numbers and get some “X-RATED CHEAP CHAT” from “18-94 years olds” and “REAL HOUSEWIVES”? The Mirror does. And it offers no warning against doing so whilst at work, nor displaying the porny images that go with the adverts lest it offend workmates and paymasters.
The Mail (pages 6 and 7), says Lewis “could be prosecuted – as watchdog accuses him of ‘flagrant violation of the public’s trust in police.” New Met commissioner Cressida Dick says the force is thinking about investigating Lewis. Dick, you will recall, was in charge when armed police shot dead innocent Jean Charles de Menezes as he waited for a train on the London Underground. No police employee was disciplined for that.
Speaking on BBC Radio London today, Dick said: “All police officers know very well that they have a duty of confidentiality, a duty to protect personal information. That duty in my view clearly endures after you leave the service. And so it is my view that what they have done based on my understanding of what they’re saying… what they have done is wrong, and I condemn it.”
We also hear in the Mail from Eleanor Laing, who says deputy speaker of the Commons, who says in a letter dated November 14:
A member of my parliamentary staff has told me that, several years ago, before we had effective screening of our parliamentary computers, she used to find pornographic images on her computer every morning when she switched it on…
She was certainly not accessing pornographic sites deliberately or even accidentally. The material was just there on her computer every day. She simply deleted it. This happened before 2010.Thus, it would appear that material found in the parliamentary computer system can be proved to have been put there by some other means than by the deliberate actions of the person operating the computer.
Lax security in parliament. Who knew?
Over in the Guardian, a columnist thunders: “!If Damian Green harassed a woman or lied, he must go.” Yeah. If. But do consider it for as long as it takes to read 500-odd words about today’s burning issue.
In other news: I took up porn to help me stop smoking, says man looking for five-minute work break.
Posted: 4th, December 2017 | In: Broadsheets, News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
Brexit means we will all ‘starve’ says Downing Street winer maker
We are all going to starve because of Brexit. Over the newswires we read that the chief executive of Chapel Down, a Kent wine maker that supplies plonk to 10 Downing Street, telling us that Britons will “starve” if Brexit means an end to cheap fruit pickers imported from overseas.
Frazer Thompson opines: “The biggest potential impact of Brexit is on agricultural labour. Kent has had eastern Europeans picking fruit in recent years, but we’ll all starve if the labour issue is not sorted after Brexit.”
Dead. All dead. And you thank Brexit for it. But hold on moment, why don’t we – and let’s just toss this out there – trade with other countries who have lots of fruit? Says Thompson: “We want a resolution to allow us to have freedom of movement for labour to pick the fruit. This is something that affects all fruit farmers across the south-east of England. I’m hoping it will be sorted out and I hope they won’t close the doors, as if there’s no one to pick the fruit, we’ll have to import everything.”
So British fruit remains unpicked because it’s too expensive to pick here and because it’s less expensive to pick over there we import the stuff. So what’s the problem? Is that the English wine made from English grapes will be more expensive than the English wine made from Greek, Portuguese, Hungary or Romanian grapes? Or why not go outside the EU and buy grapes from places where labour is even cheaper, like Chile and South Africa?
Or why not get the fruit-pickers from within the EU zone visas?
Once upon a time, of course, fruit was picked by seasonal workers – you know, people who went somewhere to do a job and then moved on. But if the peasants are too expensive for the farmer, why not invest in a machine?
Meghan Markle’s dad Thomas is an international man of mystery
Meghan Markle has a “mysterious dad”. And by mysterious we mean not a man who weaves mysteries, vanishes in puff of smoke or is, as one dictionary defines it, “difficult or impossible to understand, explain, or identify.” We mean a man who doesn’t much fancy being a celebrity.
The Daily Mirror makes Thomas Markle Senior its front-page story. They say that aside from his family, “no-one even knows where Thomas Markle Senior is.” It might be less a mystery than a question of budgets and being bothered to track down a man who was living in Rosario Beach on Mexico’s Baja California Peninsular. He moved on, says the Mirror, “determined to avoid any chance of public attention”.
Not that the man’s absence detracts from the story. He “gets by on his £1,307 monthly pension”, we learn. How the Mirror knows what money he earns and spends is moot. The ‘facts’ are provided to fit the narrative of the future princess’s dad living if not in poverty then at least in humdrum simplicity. Thomas is “driving around in an old batted blue Chrysler PT Cruiser”. His new family-to-be are “one of the richest and most powerful in the world”. He “devoted his life to his daughter”. He “may” be avoiding the spotlight “due to the humiliation of bankruptcy”.
Thomas Markle’s “solitary life means Harry has still not met his future father-in-law”. Or as the Mail puts it: “EXCLUSIVE: Prince Harry has met his girlfriend Meghan Markle’s father.”
That’s not to say the Mail isn’t also on the scent.
“Why is Meghan’s dad so determined to hide from the world?” wonders the Mail. “Where is the elusive Mr Markle? Why has this enigmatic man concealed his whereabouts so determinedly?” And: “After all, placed in his position, many fathers would be singing their joy from the rooftops.” Why, because an American – a citizen of the world’s greatest republic, a bastion of freedom and hope to the world – is getting shackled to a man who symbolises inequality? Maybe not because the Sun says Meghan’s dad is “said to be impressed by Prince Harry”.
Shedding light on the international man of mystery is Thomas’s brother Michael, who tells everyone: “Tom is trying to comply with the royal directive to keep a low profile so that’s where he’s coming from. He doesn’t want to upset the Royal Family.” Indeed, there’s nothing like a normal bloke to undo the ‘magic’ of monarchy.
Posted: 4th, December 2017 | In: Celebrities, News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment
Sunderland fan takes poo in the stands as Black Cats lose to Reading
How poor is your side performing? One Sunderland fan allegedly expressed his dissatisfaction with doings at the Stadium of Light by pulling down his trousers and laying a pipe. As the Black Cats toiled to a 3-1 loss to Reading, twitter users claims the man pulled down his pants and pooed on the seat, causing a fan sitting nearby vomit.
Reports abound that police took the site-down protestor away.
Sunderland fan ‘kicked out of ground after taking a poo in the stands’ during Black Cats’ 3-1 defeat to Reading. How bad were they in this game?? @ThabisoTema @ThabisoMosia @MushaduTV pic.twitter.com/ATYW41VbCg
— Solly Musetha (@SollyMusetha) December 3, 2017
Stadium of shite:
Sunderland’s a strange place… pic.twitter.com/HBADjIgwNV
— Pagey (@pagey07) December 2, 2017
Posted: 3rd, December 2017 | In: Back pages, News | Comment
