22nd, August 2009
Celebrities
2 The X Factor returns and with so does Emma Chawner, the tabloids' "beast" who will show us that in a post-Susan Boyle world much has changed. Also, look out for a live performance from Michael Jackson... More »
21st, August 2009
Celebrities
1 In “Death of Big Brother”, Daily Star readers who may have mistaken the show for a morbid study of the bits left in the bath after the rest of life has swirled down the plughole, are told that it is an amazingly entertaining thing. There was a “nigger row, live sex and bullying”. In short, all the elements of a successful big Brother were there, but they just weren’t broadcast... More »
To a clinic. And Koy tells the medics that she had recently been stabbed in the chest by a runaway cow’s horn, attached to a runaway cow... More »
20th, August 2009
Reviews
Get that? If you light candles (plural) every day in an unventilated room for years it might be hazardous to health? More »
“The Notting Hill Society is a public body that exists for the greater good. Whether it be an organic olive oil dip on a Sunday afternoon, a humous dip for... More »
Courtney Love "couldn't get any more bonkers," says the Sun (via D-listed), "she goes and posts a picture of herself in bed with a TURTLE on the web". It's an erect turltle and it's not in a web, it's on her head, like a novelty hat... More »
20th, August 2009
Reviews
The hope was that The London Paper would respond to the demand of the London public and come with a valve enabling it to be inflated and used as a decent seat cushion on the Tube and bus... More »
20th, August 2009
Reviews
8 She was probably morbidly obese, a neat modern term that reminds fatties that they are a danger to the public at large, should they fall on them or eat all the world’s protein and milkshakes... More »
20th, August 2009
Celebrities
I had a new procedure called a natural section… instead of being cut open, and having the baby pulled out, they find the head first and then bring it out”... Of your stomach. Hence "natual section"... More »
20th, August 2009
Madeleine McCann
18 Kate and Gerry McCann drop libel case against Portuguese tabloid Tal & Qual... More »
20th, August 2009
Celebrities
2 What began as parody becomes truth as Shilpa Shetty launches her Goody Gracious Me range of curries, chutneys and pickles in honour, nay, tribute, to Jade Goody. More »
20th, August 2009
Celebrities
1 Amy Winehouse was once famous for being a singer. But now the papers look for rats nesting in her hair and examine the contests of her nose like explorers crawling over the cave of Lascaux... More »
20th, August 2009
Celebrities
Drama in Croatia as Jay' and Beyonce's muscles 'attack' snapper and pollute the seas... Video of the fight... More »
20th, August 2009
Celebrities
8 The 10 Craziest Things About Michael Jackson Death Mania. What killed Michael Jackson? What didn't? More »
Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi's death means the truth of the fate of the Pan Am aircraft Maid of the Skies crash will now never be known. More »
20th, August 2009
Reviews
10 London’s O2 centre could be put to good use, and out of its misery. But can it see off the challenge presented by Slough, a town that could do with the extra revenue raised by grieving relatives? More »
19th, August 2009
Celebrities
1 A former Vogue cover model is trying drag an anonymous blogger out of the cyber-closet so she can sue him (or her)... More »
19th, August 2009
Celebrities
The extent of the lax coverage of the death of Las Vegas superstar Danny Gans by the Las Vegas news media is beginning to be revealed tonight as a local television news station reports that the headliner who dropped dead in his prime of an overdose of the powerful opiate Dilaudid (aka "drugstore heroin") was part owner of a pharmaceutical supply company... More »
19th, August 2009
Reviews
The British law graduates who tried to fiddle their insurance claim have been sentenced to... More »
19th, August 2009
Reviews
2 Global warming is so real and so magical that it will do for Scotland's drinking habits what Italy's pasta men did for the Chinese noodle... More »
Graff gets hit and the world realises that this is the place to get the good stuff. These villains do their homework.International jewel thieves always choose Graff. It should be the company’s new motto. More »
19th, August 2009
Key Posts
17 ATHLETICZZzzzzz has been enlivened by South African Caster Semenya, favourite to win the women's 800m at the World Athletics Championships and facing accusations that she is a man... More »
19th, August 2009
Celebrities
2 Octomum Nadya Suleman, she of the clown car vagina, says the birth of eight babies has "screwed up" her life. Had only the bumpaholic tried harder and gone for nine, ten or twelve, like the Tunisian woman... More »
19th, August 2009
Politicians
Tories aim to decapitate their enemies and wipe them out... More »
Before Michael Jackson is cremated atop a huge bithday cake decorated with blow torches, each held aloft by the effigy of a hungry, naked child, a few words from Dr Conrad Murray... More »
