Anorak

Anorak News - Pop culture, media, sport and weirdness

16th, September 2014 Film

The Best Worst Last Films by Legendary Actors

DEATH is a terrible inevitability. You could pop your considerable clogs at any given moment. You might be half way through a banana. You could be mid-poo, like Elvis. You could be *this close* to finishing that computer game that proved so difficult all those years. You might suddenly die just before someone finishes a joke... More »

16th, September 2014 Arsenal

Arsenal Balls: 'Danny Welbeck's Feet Are In The Wrong Place'

ARSENAL were out-thought, outfought and outplayed in Borussia Dortmund. They were also out-scored, losing 2-0... More »

16th, September 2014 Reviews

The Daily Express On The Illegal Immigrant Who Hid In A Hiding Place

THE DAILY Express has a delicious headline about its favouite bugbear: immigrants. News is that an "illegal immigrant" was found hiding "UNDER: a family's camper van... More »

16th, September 2014 Reviews

Daily Mail Fail: Lovely Typo In Story Blaming Liberals For Ruining Education

THE Daily Mail is outraged at the standards of education. It blames "liberal education dogma" for the lowering of education standards.. More »

16th, September 2014 Reviews

Call Keith: TSA Orders Man To Undergo Extra Groping After He Lands

WHEN Minnesota's Kahler Nygard headed to Denver he was flagged as a person of interest. At Denver Airport, the airline Spirit, the TSA and above all KEITH decided he hadn't been searched properly. The Keithians wanted to analyse Kahler after he'd flown. They wanted an extra feel... More »

16th, September 2014 Fashion

Urban Outfitters Sells Kent State University Dead Student Fashions

That shirt is to die for...and in... More »

16th, September 2014 Celebrities

Kanye West Commands The Disabled To Dance To His Songs

KANYE West began his move into TV evangelism by commanding an audience to 'Stand up'... More »

16th, September 2014 manchester united

Manchester United Balls: Rio Ferdinand Lends Ronaldo His Hotpants

IT'S Day three of the Sun's serialisation of former Manchester United player Rio Ferdinand's autoibiography. Having dealt with the John Terry racism debarcle and David Moye's disgust at low-fat chips, Rio turns to "banter"... More »

16th, September 2014 Reviews 7

Border Incidentals: The SNP Is A Spent Force As The Home Counties Get Ready To Pay

THE coming political furore of the Scottish question is not yet fully realised by Britain's Home Counties... More »

16th, September 2014 Celebrities 1

Release The Lawyers And The Offended: Danièle Watts Has Been Handcuffed

Says Watts: “I remembered the countless times my father came home frustrated or humiliated by the cops when he had done nothing wrong. I felt his shame, his anger, and my own feelings of frustration for existing in a world where I have allowed myself to believe that “authority figures” could control my BEING… my ability to BE!!!!!!!” More »

16th, September 2014 Key Posts

Before They Were Famous: The Music of Pop and Rock

IN September 1994, a reel-to-reel tape emerged and was put up for auction. Sotheby's were all over it because this wasn't any old recording they had on their hands... More »

16th, September 2014 Film

The Truth About Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey Letter

YOU'LL have seen the sweary letter signed 'Stanley Kubrick' written to the head of AGM about the sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey.... More »

16th, September 2014 manchester united

Transfer Balls: Cristiano Ronaldo Finds £500,000 Reasons To Love Manchester United

Transfer Balls: Criatiano Ronaldo Finds £500,000 Reasons To Love Manchester United... More »

16th, September 2014 Chelsea

Chelsea Balls: Welcome To the Stamford Bridge Job Centre Cristian Manea

THE Sun says Chelsea are looking to sign 17-year-old Romanian Cristian Manea for £2.3million. He's a good player who will surely go on to have a professional career at some level... More »

15th, September 2014 Reviews

Kyron Horman: Justice Dies As Terri Horman Is 'Killed'

KYRON Horman has made it into the pages of the National Enquirer. In a article entitled "TAKEN! KIDNAP EPIDEMIC ROCKS AMERICA", readers are told "Kyron Hormon gone from school"... More »

15th, September 2014 manchester united 1

Manchester United Balls: QPR Manager Harry Redknapp Doesn't Count The Goals

FOLLOWING Manchester Unied's 4-0 victory over struggling QPR, a lot has been said about United's new players, chiefly that you can buy your way out of trouble... More »

15th, September 2014 Money

Prime Minister Ignorant of the Law On Booze Shocker

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15th, September 2014 Celebrities

R Kelly Misses The Jeering Laughter As He Announces New Trapped In The Closet Episodes

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15th, September 2014 Celebrities

Kardashian Functional Sex and Beckingham Palace

With the untold wealth that comes with Kim K's life, she's looking at buying a house in Europe. A bedsit in Montrose? A terrace in Telford? Of course not! She's looking at buying Beckingham Palace - David and Victoria Beckham's mansion in Hertfordshire... More »

15th, September 2014 Arsenal

Talking Balls: Manchester United Falcao Is ISIS Nutjob Shakir Wahiyib: Arsenal's Ozil To Munich

TALKING Balls: A look at media reporting on Arsenal's Germnan midfielder Mesut Ozil and Manchester United's Radamel Falcao... More »

15th, September 2014 manchester united

Transfer Balls: Cristiano Ronaldo Still Plays For Manchester United

TRANSFER Balls: a l0ok at the Daily Express' dire reporting on Cristiano Ronaldo... More »

15th, September 2014 Reviews 2

Epic Fail: Salesian College, Farnborough, Offers 'Educational Opportunity's'

Edumacating for life... More »

15th, September 2014 Arsenal 1

Arsenal Balls: Mathieu Debuchy Injury Leaves Arsenal With Just 11 Defenders

ARSENAL Balls: Mathieu Debuchy has an injured ankle. How long will he be injured for?... More »

15th, September 2014 manchester united

Manchester United Balls: Rio Ferdinand Says Moyes Banned Them From Eating Low-Fat Chips

AS former Manchester Untied defedner Rio Ferdinand returned to Old Trafford with new club QPR - and looked on as the visitors shipped four goals - the Sun picked up the scent of chips. .. More »

15th, September 2014 Politicians

Sir Gerald Howath Wants Aldershot Twinned With Joanna Lumley

SIR Gerald Howath, a former defence minister and current Tory MP fo Aldershot, who said Enoch Powell's 1968 ‘rivers of blood’ speech was spot on, has turned his eye to Joanna Lumley, the actress who campaigned for Gurkhas’ rights... More »